Chapter Text
Wade just wanted to get some ice time, but the first practice ring he went to was full of Russians and...well, mostly Natasha Romanoff who actually terrifies him and really, he doesn’t want to be terrified while getting his blades on Olympic ice for the first time. The night before he heard his roommate talking about a lesser known rink that a lot of hockey guys would go just to get their blades wet so he figures he’ll try that rink before he tries another official practice rink.
“What’s the result of complete hydrolysis of triglyceride molecules?!” A very pretty black woman is yelling across the ice at….at someone that Wade definitely wants to get to know better because look at that ass .
The figure on the ice does a triple toe spin as they yell back, “They release the molecule of two primary alcohols and one secondary alcohol!”
“What’s in the core of the lipid bilayer?”
“Hydrophobic phospholipids!” This time they do a quad toe spin and land like it’s nothing .
Oh balls , science guy is good too.
Really good.
“MJ, ask me a harder question next time, okay? I know all this basic sh—oh,” the figure on the ice stops their practicing when they catch sight of Wade standing weirdly by the side doors, his big puffy Canada jacket making him obnoxiously visible in the shadows. The guy, because Wade realizes that it’s definitely a guy , American if he had to guess because he was answering his smart science questions in a New York accent, skates up to the half wall that’s closest to Wade and leans against it as he asks, “I can clear the ice if you need me to?”
Wade steps out of the shadow finally and shrugs off his jacket, shifting his speed skates from one hand to the other as he does so. “Nah, I’m just gonna be doing loops, as long as you’re cool with sharing the ice?” He’s surprised to hear that he sounds more certain than he feels so he smirks as he adds, “I’m gonna be listening to some music so you can definitely keep yelling about science stuff without worrying about bothering me.”
He doesn’t miss the blush that lights up the guy’s face as Wade drops his jacket on the bench nearest the ice, and coincidentally nearest the guy that just keeps getting cuter the closer Wade gets to him. “Sorry, I have a test as soon as the games are over and this is the only study time I can get,” he explains as Wade kicks his shoes off, dropping onto the bench and starting to work on shoving his speed skates onto his feet.
“Nah man, it’s cool,” Wade waves off his apology with a grin and feels a little like he wants to die as he sees how brown this guys eyes are.
“And I am,” the guys says, gesturing toward the large ice rink, “Willing to share the ice that is, sorry, I meant to answer that first.”
Wade finishes tightening his laces and stands, taking a moment to get the blade protectors off and drop them onto his jacket. “Thanks, man, the other rink was full of Russians ,” he says as he eyes the distance between where he is and the door to the ice before he shrugs and tosses a leg over the half wall, just to the left of pretty science guy, and vaulting himself onto the ice at his side.
Pretty science guy laughs and shakes his head slightly. “The Russians can be terrifying,” he says as he turns to face Wade, pressing his hip against the short wall. Wade can’t help but let his gaze drag across they guy’s shoulders and chest, the tight outfit he’s wearing doing nothing to hide what he’s got going on.
Which is a lot .
“I’m Wade Wilson, team Canada,” Wade says as he holds his hand out, grinning and raising an eyebrow at science guy.
“I know who you are,” he says with a grin, shaking Wade’s hand quickly before he skates off, back to the woman that’s now waving a stack of papers at them and oh, Wade hadn’t even been paying attention to her which says a lot for science guy’s looks because she’s hot .
Wade watches science guy glance once over his shoulder as he starts talking quietly to his friend and apparent flash card holder and tries not to stare too hard at his ass while he pulls his headphones up from around his neck and shoves them onto his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket to pick his skating mood for the day. After a few loops he gets into the zone but still he notices when science guy’s friend gets on the ice with them, the two of them skating together like they can read each other’s minds .
It’s a few hours later when Wade is eating with James Howlett, the goalie for the Canadian national hockey team and also his roommate, that he nearly chokes on his asparagus because, “Oh good God , that was Peter Parker.”
James doesn’t bother looking up from his phone which, rude , your roommate was almost dying , as he says gruffly, “That’s one half of the American dream team, right? The pairs skating team that’s slated to win gold in the individual and also carry the team program for the US?”
Wade blinks at James and doesn’t know how to answer him at first because….what? “How the fuck do you know all that?” He asks, pointing an asparagus spear at James and wiggling it between his face and his phone until the other man looks up at him, annoyance clear on his face.
“ Everyone knows that, Wilson,” James sounds as put upon as he looks, a toothpick hanging from his mouth as he gestures around the cafeteria, “The figure skaters are shaking in their pristine white boots because of those two, this can’t be news to you.”
“What’s news to me is that Peter Parker is a goddamn looker ,” Wade says before he shoves the last of his vegetables into his mouth.
“Again, everyone knows that,” James says and it’s a little surprising that he would admit that but maybe there’s hope for him yet. Wade looks at James when he kicks his shin and grimaces as the goalie says, “You’re not fucking half of the dream team.” He pauses long enough for Wade to decide to make a smart ass comment before he adds, “Or both of the dream team. Keep your dick far away from America, please, for the sake of international cooperation.”
“International magical cooperation,” Wade mumbles under his breath mockingly as the US hockey team makes a goddamn entrance in the cafeteria.
The captain of the team, and Wade’s personal wet dream Steve Rogers, stops by their table and shakes James’ hand, looking like a kid on Christmas. “Logan, can I call you Logan? It’s such an honor to meet you, seriously,” Steve is babbling a little and this is great for Wade because he personally was never a fan of the Canadiens (go Canucks!) so James being his roommate is whatever but he forgets that James Howlett was a Big Deal.
Now he’s just a Big Dick (physically and metaphorically).
That’s a good one, he needs to write that down or something, see if he can work it into a Post Gold interview.
“It’s good to meet you, Rogers, I hear you did good things for the hockey program at NYU,” Howlett says as he stands, clapping Roger’s on the shoulder and making him look like he’s gonna wet himself.
“This is amazing,” Wade says to the tall, blond, adonis next to Rogers, raising an eyebrow, “I think your captain wants to blow my James.”
“ Maybe another James ,” the shorter man next to the tall, blond, not Rogers says with a snort of laughter, “Captain America here has a boyfriend , dontcha know?”
And of course Wade knows about Steve Rogers and his Paralympian Heart Throb Boyfriend: James Barnes. Wade knows intimately about James Barnes and Steve Rogers’ Beautiful Romance because he’s read (fanfiction) the tabloids enough that he feels like he was there for the whole thing unfolding. The rumor of the Epic Rising of Stucky™ is that it happened when they were both on NYU hockey team when they were in college, before Bucky Barnes went off to fight the (debatable) good fight for the USA over in Afghanistan and Steve Rogers got drafted by the Islanders.
Rogers ended up with a torn ACL that meant he had to take too much time off for recovery, and the Islanders bought him out of the rest of his contract. Once he was healed up enough to play he started playing on their feeder team and eventually started coaching the NYU team because they made him an offer and Steve felt like he was wallowing (Wade knows he read that in an article somewhere, from an interview with Steve). He was asked to join the US hockey team when the NHL ruled that they weren’t letting their professionals off for the Olympics, and he didn’t accept until the 2022 Olympics, but only because Bucky had been asked to join the US Paralympic team as well.
Like he said, he wasn’t there, but he definitely feels like he was.
“Yeah that dude that’s a better right wing than you can dream of being isn’t he, Colbert?” James says to the blond next to Rogers and oh, Brad Colbert, one of the US national hockey league’s right wings.
Rogers laughs and Wade is starstruck enough that he has to take a bite of his sandwich to hide the embarrassed giggle he feels clawing at the back of his throat. It’s only made worse when the shorter guy narrows his eyes and says, “You’re Wade Wilson, right, the derby dude turned college professor turned speed skate Jedi?”
“I wouldn’t say Jedi ,” James snorts out a laugh and Wade is glad he hasn’t tried to swallow yet because he would have absolutely choked and died.
“I would say Jedi,” Wade disagrees around his mouthful of food before he swallows and continues, “I’m the best, around, no one’s ever gonna bring me dooowwnnnn.” The shorter guy next to Colbert does a little shoulder shimmy as Wade sings horribly off key and he decides that he likes that guy.
Whoever he is.
“Who are you?” Wade asks as he points at the shorter dude, narrowing his eyes as he sees the very tops of some tattoos poking out from his collar.
He gasps and clutches at his chest and Colbert rolls his eyes. “This is Ray Person, one half of our bobsled team and the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life,” Colbert says, getting another gasp from the guy.
“I am the best goddamn thing in your life and you’d do well to remember it, honey ,” Ray says, batting his lashes at Colbert and yeah, holy shit Wade needs to be his new best friend.
“How do you feel about Canada, Ray?” Wade asks as he gestures to the open seat across from him, feeling satisfied when he drops onto the chair and drags Colbert down with him on the bench.
Ray looks at him seriously for a moment and Wade wonders if he offended him until he speaks. “Your bacon is fuckin’ ham, what the fuck, homes?” Ray asks, pointing an accusing finger in Wades face before he swipes a carrot stick from his plate.
Wade scoffs and cracks open his energy drink, trying to fight off the jet lag that’s been nipping at his heels all day. “I’ll have you know that our bacon is real bacon, thank you very much, your American bacon is shit, dude,” he argues, pointing a finger in Ray’s face as well.
“E.T. phone home,” Ray says, wiggling his finger in Wade’s face and making him cackle, nearly spilling his energy drink down his shirt.
“You’re my new favorite American,” Wade decides as he lowers his finger from Ray’s face, using that hand to grab his energy drink and take a big swig.
James looks annoyed with their new table guests but Steve sits himself next to Wade (who feels like he might die, holy shit), as James says, “Thought you wanted to fuck Parker?”
“I do want to fuck Parker,” Wade acknowledges which makes the three Americans look at him with varying degrees of interest, “But Ray here is marriage material. Tell me, if I win gold will you be my husband?
Ray laughs outright at that and Wade feels a little self conscious because wow, if he was serious that would sting. “I’d have to ask my secret boyfriend but yeah sure, Wade, I’ll get hitched with ya if you win gold, and also, let’s make this more exciting, if you manage to actually fuck Parker,” Wade snorts out a laugh at how serious Ray is trying to pretend to be and yeah, okay.
“Peter is disappointingly out of my league,” Wade decides as he catches sight of Peter and the pretty black woman from earlier and yeah, Jesus fuck how had he not realized that that’s Michelle Jones, entering the cafeteria in all their gorgeous, graceful beauty. “He’s all lithe beauty and thighs I want to be smothered with, and under this admittedly great outfit I am two hundred pounds of burnt up flesh and disappointment,” he says as he gestures to the sparse scarring on his face and the barely visible worse burns on his throat, “Not even my dazzling personality can make up for that mess.”
“It’s true, you’re pretty disgusting,” James says and honestly, that’s the nicest thing he’s said to him about his appearance since they’ve been rooming together which makes Wade cackle and shoots finger guns at James because awwww, he’ll soften him up yet
“I don’t know, I’d probably fuck you,” Ray says as he eyes Wade and this guy, he’s definitely Wade’s favorite American.
“Ray, RayRay, Raayyy, I am officially in love with you,” Wade decides as he downs the rest of his energy drink, interested in the angry look that he’s getting from Brad Colbert and maybe Ray wasn’t kidding when he said he had to ask his secret boyfriend.
“With a bag on my head,” Ray adds and heeeyyy .
Wade laughs anyway, tilting his head back as he does. “Well boys,” he starts, standing up and swinging his legs out from under the table, “It’s been fun but I have to go do some official practicing on the long track and then try to get some beauty sleep in before the opening ceremony.” He gathers his plate and empty can and does a bit of a curtsey before he leaves the group, listening to Steve pull James into a conversation about the current college players that might make good NHL prospects, a conversation that Wade’s very glad he’s not going to be a part of because he both doesn’t have an opinion and doesn’t care.