Chapter Text
It should have been an easy enough question.
“What will friends do now?”
Yet, Nia had tensed up and the fish she had been eating had lost all its taste.
Rex was the first one to answer: “I want to go home and make sure Corinne and the others are fine.” It was no surprise, really.
Of course he would’ve done that, Nia thought, yet her heart felt heavy when he turned with a sheepish grin to Pyra and Mythra. “If that’s okay with you guys.”, he added. There was a sideways glance in Nia’s direction too.
Both of them nodded and gave him a smile in return. “Of course.”, Pyra replied, her voice gentle and her eyes full of understanding.
“Sure.”, Mythra’s reply was shorter and calmer.
Nia gulped, and took a very big bite out of her fish, which gave her the opportunity to pretend that she was occupied at the moment.
“I probably should check on my old man too.”, Zeke agreed while he held a stick with a second skewered fish into the campfire Pyra had made.
“What about you, Tora?”, Rex asked in return.
“Tora wants to see if Dadapon and Lila are okay.”, the Nopon answered with concern.
“Poppi is positive that they are.”, Poppi answered. “Lila is strong. She will protect her masterpon.” She was not eating; instead her eyes followed the sparks of ember that sprung from the fire. They swirled around and glowed just enough to make one believe that this fire was alive somehow.
Tora’s face lit up after that. “Poppi is right!”, he agreed and ate the last of the fish he and Poppi had caught for the whole group to eat.
In a way, that was a celebratory dinner: celebrating their victory over Malos, celebrating their survival and, last but not least, celebrating the birth of the new world – of their Elysium.
The world had been saved and even though their common goal had been achieved and the concern for their families had grown ever so much, the group had not been ready to part ways yet. They had wanted to stay with each other for a little while longer and out of that wish had come the idea to catch some fish and collect plants and herbs and to cook something for the occasion. Thanks to Pyra’s cooking skills their little meal had developed into something that merited the situation.
“What about you, Mòrag?”, Rex continued the conversation.
Nia gulped. She tried not to look at the other woman, but her ears gave her away. They were perked up, with the intent to listen very carefully to the response.
Mòrag needed a moment to answer. Nia made the mistake of looking at her and found Mòrag’s eyes meeting hers. The Gormotti couldn’t read her expression and she was sure that her own face didn’t read much different. After all, Nia herself did not know what to think or feel.
“I will return to Mor Ardain.”, Mòrag answered. “I worry for my brother. I need to see him with my own two eyes to convince myself of his wellbeing.”
It should have been an obvious answer and yet, Nia felt disappointed when she heard it.
“What about you, Nia?”
There it was. The question whose answer should have been so easy.
Nia looked towards Rex, who had asked the question, and the glowing sparks of Pyra’s campfire were reflected in his golden eyes. She was his blade and it should have been a given that she’d just chose to go with him – but she knew that he asked not only because she was her own person first and had a home in Gormott, but also because he had not forgotten the confession of her feelings back in Elpys. She had not either.
Nia averted her eyes from him and inconspicuously looked at Mòrag. The Ardainian woman hadn’t forgotten either – and neither of the two women had forgotten what had happened between them in Morytha.
Mòrag’s expression was stoic. Nia couldn’t read her. Was she curious to hear of her plans? Did she not care? Or had she just assumed she’d go with Rex either way?
“I…” She looked back to Rex, then to Pyra and Mythra who seemed both curious and concerned at the same time. Her hesitation dragged on and she could see the growing confusion on the other party member’s faces with each passing moment. Zeke, Tora and their blades didn’t know. Dromarch on the other hand had looked right through her in Morytha already. Whether Brighid was aware of her driver’s feelings Nia couldn’t tell.
And Rex… poor Rex looked sad and helpless and Nia hated it, because she knew he had a hunch, that this was about her feelings for him, but there was more to it than just that and she owed him that explanation for her indecision.
“I don’t know.”, she said and threw her skewer into the fire. How could she explain, when her feelings were such a mess? Nia stood up and left their campsite without another word.
“Ah! The cliff!” Zeke’s words were barely audible through the falling debris.
The ground beneath her feet yielded before Nia realized it. For a split second she did not do anything and just fell deep, deep down into the direction of the cloud sea.
“Waaaaah!” Different voices were screaming at the same time and suddenly she came back to her senses and looked around, to find somebody, anybody, to hold onto. Not for her own safety but for theirs – she was a blade with incredible healing capabilities; somehow she would survive the fall and she had to make sure to rescue at least one of her friends. There was rubble everywhere and dust from the broken stones hit her eyes. She groaned from the pain and tried to rub the dirt away, but she could barely keep them open from the pain and the wind. Suddenly something hit hard and fast against the back of her head.
“Nia!”, she heard a voice calling out to her. Again, she tried to keep her eyes open for as long as possible, but tears were blurring her vision. She reached her hand out into the direction the voice came from, clinging with all her might to her consciousness. Someone grabbed it firmly and hugged her body close to theirs. Nia held on tightly and in a last-ditch effort she used the ether in the air around them to build a barrier. Then the pain took its toll and she fell unconscious.
When she regained her consciousness everything was dark. Her head was resting on something soft and warm. She tried to open her eyes a bit, but she was worn out and so very tired.
“Nia!”, someone called her. The voice was close, and a little too loud. Her ears twitched and she moaned. “Stay with me Nia, don’t go back to sleep.”, the voice urged her when it noticed the subtle movement.
She frowned. “Ugh, that’s gonna be damn hard with all that noise you make…”, she spoke. It was annoying how much energy she needed to utter this simple statement. She felt a pressure around the palm of her hand, which was a little too tight and trembled; she returned the squeeze unconsciously.
The other person made a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob; Nia couldn’t tell. Though she felt she recognized the voice. She made another effort to open her eyes and found herself staring into Mòrag’s face.
The Ardainian woman looked terribly battered, there was dirt on her face and uniform, but she was smiling now, smiling with great relief. It took Nia by surprise to see so much emotion on the military woman.
"Sheesh, I must’ve given you a real scare.” Nia managed a tired smile.
“You were bleeding so much, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stop it.”
Only when she heard that Nia realized the numb pain in the back of her head. She tried reaching for it, but instead her hand found Mòrag’s uniform. That was when Nia finally became aware of the fact that she was resting on the other woman’s lap and of Mòrag’s hand holding hers. Nia blinked twice, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.
Immediately, she tried to sit up and without any prompting Mòrag’s hands were on her upper body to support her.
Nia felt dizzy when she finally sat upright.
She tried to feel for her injury, but instead she touched a piece of cloth. It was soaked and warm. She frowned, contemplating for a few moments whether her remaining strength would be enough to heal that wound. She came to the quick conclusion that she had to heal it either way. It did not seem like the bleeding had stopped so it was better to take care of that before anything else. She closed her eyes and channelled the ether onto the hand that was at the back of her head.
When she finished, she took the cloth away. As expected it was sullied with her blood, what little was left unstained was white. “Where did you find that in the middle of nowhere?”, Nia asked and turned around to her companion.
Mòrag gestured at her left arm. “From the shirt I wear beneath my uniform.”
“I see.” Nia lowered her eyes and examined the piece of clothing further. Mòrag had ripped it, so that she was able to wrap it around Nia’s head a few times. She noticed the cuff now, too. “Hope it wasn’t too expensive?”
The other woman managed a tired chuckle. “I can buy a new one.”
“That doesn’t really answer my question.” Nia smirked a little. She was weak, even more so after using her powers, but she felt that healing the wound had been worth the price. There were other things that needed to be patched up too, little scratches and bruises, but they could wait. She looked up and only now she noticed that the sky was shrouded in thick dark clouds and that it wasn’t night, as she had assumed from what she had seen from the corner of her eye. From somewhere far away the howling of the wind found its way to her ears.
She blinked. Wait…
She looked around curiously and saw sky high buildings around her, all of them made of the same smooth material with the same rectangular shape. Most of them seemed broken in some way.
“Hold on a sec.”, Nia thought aloud as her gaze followed their shapes upward. “Are we beneath the cloud sea?”
“It would seem so.”, Mòrag answered.
“That’s a looong drop down.” Nia sighed. “Amazing that we survived that.”
“It was thanks to you. You erected an ether shield around us before you fell unconscious.”
There was a vague memory returning to her. “I see.” She was still holding the make-shift bandage in her hands and thought of her other friends. “Where are the others?”
“I don’t know. We got separated during the fall.” Mòrag’s eyes met hers and both of them were aware of how lucky they were to have at least each other. “I hope they are well.”
Nia hoped so too. “Oh, I’m sure they are. Shellhead has survived worse.”, she said with a shrug. “And us blades are quite sturdy after all. Tora has his wings and Rex… I think he was with Pyra… or Mythra.” She frowned. “Whatever we call the green-haired version.”
“I guess she will tell us herself soon enough.”
“Heh, yeah…”
There were a few moments of silence in which Nia opted to stare at the ground. Even the streets were made of something she had never seen before. It looked like flat stone, but not exactly. “We should go.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”, Mòrag replied while she eyed her friend thoughtfully.
“Yes, I’m fine.”, Nia answered with a bit too much emphasis. She stood up and instantly regretted it. Her knees yielded and before she dropped to the ground again, Mòrag was at her side and caught her in a hug. Her body was warm and cosy; the embrace made Nia feel safe – and maybe a little too comfortable. Nia pushed herself back a little and saw the worry in Mòrag’s face.
“We should rest.”, she only said and Nia didn’t have the heart to oppose her again.
“Shouldn’t we follow her?”, Rex asked, a worried frown on his face.
“I… don’t think that would be a good idea right now.”, Pyra said and looked into the direction Nia had disappeared to. Her hands were clasped and close to her chest, a familiar gesture she seemed to slip into whenever she was concerned.
“But…”
“No, Rex.”, Mythra interrupted him. “Give her some time.”
“But it’s because of me, isn’t it?”
“Probably.” The blonde blade looked away and poked the burnt wood inside the fire absentmindedly with her stick. “But that’d be my reasoning as to why you shouldn’t run straight after her right now.”
The boy lowered his eyes in defeat.
Tora followed the conversation with a frown. He thought about everything that had been just said and suddenly his face lit up. “Maybe Mòrag go and have girl-talk with Nia?”, he suggested with a smile.
What he didn’t notice was how Mòrag tensed up and how the rest of the group stared at him dumbfounded.
A moment later Zeke tried to unsuccessfully suppress a snort and replied: “I don’t think so, chap.”
“Nuh-nuh?? Why?” The Nopon was genuinely confused.
“Well, because Mòrag is not exactly…”, Zeke began hesitantly.
“Not exactly what?”, Mòrag asked firmly, her gaze a not-so silent threat.
Zeke gulped and grew quiet. “Nothin’…”
Next to him, Pandoria chuckled.
“So we just let her be…?”, Rex asked to get the conversation back on track.
“It is not a good idea to talk to Milady when she is agitated.”, Dromarch eventually said.
Rex hung his head low. If even her blade said so, then it was for the best to wait until she returned. Dromarch had known her for a very long time after all and knew how to handle her moods.
Eventually the group dispersed, so that each could find a comfortable place to sleep.
“I would’ve never guessed that Morytha actually existed.”
Nia tried to suppress a moan when Mòrag sat her down again. They had sought shelter beneath one of the fallen buildings, somewhere where they were hidden from any potential enemy’s sight. The place looked desolated and they had yet to encounter anything, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Especially now, when it was only the two of them, with no support from their friends and blades.
With a heavy sigh, Nia returned to her driver form.
Mòrag sat down next to her. “Is this really okay?”
Nia nodded tiredly. “It’s easier to save energy like that.”, she explained. “Because I don’t need to have my full powers ready all the time.”
“I see.”Mòrag leaned against the wall and watched Nia closely. She was hurt from the fall and tired from the fight against Malos, too. It worried Mòrag to see her in her current state. Would Nia be able to recover? It would be difficult to make their way through this unknown land otherwise.
They fell silent, each of them getting hung up in their thoughts.
“Sorry about your pants.”, Nia said after a while.
Mòrag looked at her curiously. “My…” She gazed downwards and when she paid close attention she could see the darker spots on her lap where Nia’s blood had seeped through the make-shift bandage. “Don’t worry about it. It’s barely visible on the dark cloth.” She hadn’t even noticed.
“If you say so…” Nia closed her eyes.
“You look sleepy.”
She nodded. “It’s been a tough few days.”
Mòrag could imagine that very well. They had Pyra taken away from them and had to deal with the harsh conditions down in Elpys – two very draining things, emotionally and physically, and this didn’t even include the subsequent fighting and travel to the cliffs of Morytha. And for Nia these things had been even harder – she had hidden her identity as blade, which had almost cost her her life in Elpys and then, after finally revealing her true self she had made that confession of love to Rex.
Mòrag was surprised as to how much this scene had hurt her –and it had taken her a while to figure out why that was.
Mòrag had watched Nia closely ever after she had saved Niall’s life. At first, because she had looked for an answer: How had she been able to bring the boy back from the dead? Mòrag had only known one thing: that ‘first aid’ could have never been enough. Not with Aegaeon returning to his core crystal. And what Mòrag had found in her observations were all the little things she had never noticed before about her teammate: The golden shine in her eyes in those rare moments when they could forget about their mission for a little while and enjoy the sun, her cheeky grin whenever she teased Zeke or the way her ears flicked whenever she caught someone calling her name. Her personality hidden in all the subtle things: how she always knew what to say to cheer the people and blades around her up and encourage them to press on and confront their problems. This was the attitude of someone who had been in a similar position already, someone full of empathy. There was so much more to her than met the eye.
Mòrag had gotten lost watching her. Whether it was her sportive movements in battle or the brusque way she always spoke her mind – all that made Nia who she was – had enamoured her.
“Hey Mòrag.”, Nia suddenly said. Her voice yanked the Ardainian woman from her thoughts. “Did you know I was a blade? When we were in Elpys, I mean.”
“I had a… hunch.”, she began slowly, not quite ready to look her in the eyes after thinking how she had fallen in love with her. “Because I didn’t believe you when you said that you saved Niall with simple first aid and when I noticed you struggling in Elpys I felt like I had my proof. Until you started to narrate your life and told us about your family.”
"Heh, got you confused with that extensive backstory, eh?” Nia smiled a bit.
“Yes.”, Mòrag confessed. “Blades usually don’t get raised as noblemen’s daughters.”
Nia shrugged a little, not commenting on that any further.
“You can lean on me if you want to sleep.”, Mòrag offered her.
Was there a red hue appearing on her cheeks? “No, thanks.”, Nia replied with a frown. She hugged her legs close and rested her head on them.
What an unnecessary stubbornness. Her attitude made Mòrag smile a little. Despite Nia’s wishes she moved a bit closer to her and as expected, the Gormotti forgot about her pride and immediately approached the warm body.
Mòrag was tempted to pull her close, but then she thought that maybe it was better if she didn’t overstep her boundaries. That was the decision she had made when she admitted to herself after the happenings in Elpys that she had indeed fallen in love with Nia.
Nia had feelings for Rex and while he had rejected her romantically, it was clear that she still liked being around him. And if she had fallen for an honest and open boy like Rex, chances were that Nia did not have much interest in a woman like Mòrag.
Mòrag suppressed a sigh and opted to keep watch with her head held high, listening closely to anything that could have been interpreted as footsteps. Despite knowing that Nia would never reciprocate her feelings, Mòrag had sworn to protect her either way. To see her happy and safe was all she needed.
At some point Nia fell asleep for good, which worried Mòrag because she had lost quite some blood due to her injury on the head; but her breathing was audible and steady, as opposed to the barely audible breaths she had made while unconscious. Mòrag had to remind herself quite a few times that Nia was a more than capable healer and that she had treated herself with her blade powers to heal an injury that would have otherwise taken a surgery and weeks to heal. It would be fine, Nia had taken care of the wound. It had to.
Her train of concerned thought stopped when Nia’s body dropped onto hers. Mòrag’s mind became empty and when Nia mumbled something she couldn’t decipher, the Ardainian couldn’t help but gaze lovingly at her. Eventually, she gave in and put an arm around Nia and pulled her close.
Mòrag had chosen a place near the coast; she leaned against a tree with her eyes closed, while she listened to the sound of the waves hitting the shore. The noise helped her relax, but provided only little comfort with the things she had on her mind.
“Are you really okay with this, Lady Mòrag?”, Brighid’s voice said and soon thereafter her steps approached Mòrag and the fire-elemental blade sat down next to her.
Mòrag opened her eyes again and Brighid saw the sadness and wistfulness in them. It was rare for her driver to display her feelings openly like that, but that fact alone spoke of the sheer magnitude of importance this situation held for Mòrag.
“Of course not, Brighid.”, she replied. “But what exactly am I supposed to do?”
Brighid sighed when she heard that. “Maybe I’m stating the obvious here, but why don’t you try talking to her?”, she suggested.
“I – “ Mòrag lowered her gaze. “I imposed myself on her, I couldn’t possibly…”
Brighid laughed softly when she heard the word “imposed”. She knew exactly what had happened and she knew her driver only too well. “You are too harsh on yourself. You just showed her how you feel, which, by any means, was not exactly the smoothest way to do so…” Her lips curved into an amused smile and Mòrag felt her face grow warm.
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“I think she will be more than capable to tell you then.”, Brighid answered matter-of-factly.
That prospect didn’t exactly encourage the driver. “I shouldn’t have kissed her. What right did I have to interfere with her relationship to Rex?”
Brighid began to tap her fingers impatiently against her lap. “We were all there when she confessed her feelings to him and we also witnessed his reply. You speak as if they became an item that day, which is not the case.”, she replied.
“But…”
“No buts.” Brighid interrupted her and Mòrag felt as if she was a teenager again; back then Brighid used to scold and advise her, like the mother she never had. “Talk with her when she has calmed down.” When she noticed Mòrag’s doubtful expression she added: “Lady Mòrag, you always push your needs back for the sake of others and your country. It is about time you followed your heart.”
“I did and it only caused her pain.”, Mòrag muttered.
“No.”, Brighid disagreed. “You made a step forward and immediately retreated back into your shell. You didn’t talk with her about it and left it hanging in the air. And suddenly our battle is over and she has to make a decision over something she can’t possibly figure out on her own. How do you expect her to feel and behave under these circumstances?”
“I…” Mòrag didn’t have an answer to this. She had actually never thought about the situation this way. “You are right. Thank you, Brighid.” She mustered up a little smile and Brighid squeezed her hand encouragingly.
Nia felt warm and comfortable in her sleep.
“Mhm…” She didn’t want to wake up. It was too nice. But she knew, she had to eventually. She had not forgotten that they were in Morytha, separated from their friends and with no real idea if they’d ever make it back.
She opened her eyes a bit and noticed that she had leaned against Mòrag in her sleep and not only that, the other woman had put an arm around her too. Nia could feel the warmth around her shoulders.
She blushed and kept her eyes downwards, hoping Mòrag hadn’t noticed her waking up – she didn’t know why, but Nia wanted to stay like this for just a little longer. It was Mòrag’s body that emitted the warmth that made Nia feel as if she never wanted to get up again; it was nice, and so different from what she was used to from Dromarch. Compared to his bristling fur, Mòrag’s body was almost soft to the touch.
Nia had a hard time to supress her instincts and not lean closer. When was the last time she had been this close, physically, to someone else except her blade? There had been hugs in her family, and sometimes she’d share a bed with her sister, but this, this was something entirely different. Was it because Mòrag was one of the few who knew of her secret? That she was a flesh eater?
It had taken Nia a lot of courage to entrust her friends with this, but having a network of people who she could openly talk to about it felt great – but Dromarch had known beforehand and she had never felt this comfortable sleeping close to him.
Then she wondered, what if it had been Rex instead of Mòrag? Would she have felt the same comfort and secureness if he had been the one sitting here with her? She tried to imagine it, but it was no use. Questions like that couldn’t be answered by simple imagination, especially since wistful thinking had its way to distort facts.
She had believed for a long while that only he could be her driver; that he alone offered her something she had not known before: friendship and trust, the feeling that she belonged somewhere – that she was not alone.
But right now he wasn’t there, only Mòrag, and Nia did not feel alone either. The reason she was so comfortable around Mòrag was that she trusted her the same as Rex – and why shouldn’t she? It was Mòrag who had noticed her feeling unwell in Elpys and proposed a rest, and it had been her who threw herself in the way of Malos’s sword which would have otherwise obliterated her very existence. This had been a very reckless action and Nia had not forgotten how she had feared for Mòrag’s life in that small moment that had felt like an eternity. Right, she would still have to scold her for that someday…
Maybe she had made that love confession too quick. She had been overwhelmed and had wanted to be honest with her feelings – though what she had not realized back in Elpys was that maybe, just maybe, she could feel as strongly about other people as she did for Rex.
She directed her eyes towards Mòrag and watched her profile for a few moments. Mòrag was deeply concentrated, looking at some point in the distance – watching out for enemies, Nia assumed. Again, looking out for her.
She was not sure if she felt the same love towards Mòrag as she did for Rex, but what she did finally understand was that more than just one person could be home. She smirked a little, trying to not laugh about her own idiocy. How in the world had she not realized that sooner?
She stirred unconsciously, it was only a faint movement but Mòrag noticed and took her arm immediately back. Nia tried to not feel too disappointed about that, but wasn’t much successful.
Dawn started to break.
Nia sat on the branches of a tree. She had made herself comfortable in the fork and watched the first light of the day slowly appearing on the dark horizon. Trees had always been a source of comfort to her; they reminded her of her home in Gormott and took her back to the carefree days she had spent in her life.
She had thought about where she wanted to go in this new world the whole night long and still hadn’t found a satisfying answer.
Nia knew that she didn’t want to go with Rex, Pyra and Mythra. While she had started in Morytha to make peace with the romantic rejection that wound had yet to heal properly. Staying with them and watching them be together all day wouldn’t exactly help her with that. She could imagine coming back to them someday, but it was important that she did not do so anytime soon.
She had considered going back to Gormott, but the prospect didn’t exactly appeal to her. The mansion she had lived in for so long with her father and sister was no more. They had sold it and lived in the streets after all. She had nowhere to stay. Well, Tora and Poppi would be in Torigoth, so she could always stay with them until she got her own place – which so far seemed the only thing she could do. She just wasn’t sure for how long she would be able to live under the same roof with the two of them, Tora’s father, Lila and Dromarch. Ugh, the thought alone made her want to throw things at them.
And then there was Mòrag. Mòrag who had kissed her all of a sudden back in Morytha and had turned her world upside down in that moment. And who had then proceeded to behave as if all this had never happened.
“What the bloody hell are you doing?!”, Nia screamed as she rushed to Mòrag’s aid, lifting up her twin rings so that the monster’s claws hit her weapon instead of her friend.
“I’m using the fact that he didn’t notice us to defeat him with a pre-emptive strike!”, Mòrag answered and slashed the Guldo’s arms with her whipswords. The monster screamed in agony and stumbled a few steps back, blood dripping from its wounds.
“We could have just kept our distance and not engage in a fight at all!”, Nia scolded her and made few steps back too, trying to catch her breath. “Brighid is not with you, so you can’t possibly use your swords’ full power!”
“But what if there are more enemies around and surround us without us noticing?”, Mòrag huffed, ready to strike at the enemy again.
“Don’t you dare…!” But before Nia could say anything more Mòrag had attacked again. This time though, she had enraged him and quicker than before, he raised his claw and directed it at her head.
Mòrag saw the movement coming, but she was too slow. He struck her head and Nia gasped because for a moment she thought he had hit her for good, but then Mòrag quickly retreated backwards and took a defensive stance next to Nia. There was an ugly slash on her cheek now, bleeding badly.
“Your plan didn’t even work!”, Nia was too worked up to feel relieved at her partner’s well-being. She changed to her blade form and summoned her scimitar. “Take this.”, she said and reached it towards Mòrag.
Mòrag looked at her with surprise. “But this…”
“You can’t use your arts without Brighid around and I really don’t want to die here because you are too stubborn.”, Nia explained.
“But Rex…”
Nia managed a little smirk. “The good thing about being a flesh eater is that I can chose whoever I want to wield my blade.”
The Guldo screamed and charged at them. Nia and Mòrag avoided getting hit by jumping into opposite directions.
“Come on, let’s give him a proper beating!”, Nia said and threw her sword at Mòrag.
The other woman caught it easily and pointed it towards the monster as if she had been wielding this new weapon her whole life long.
Nia sighed a breath of relief when she raised her hands to direct her ether energy towards Mòrag. Now that she fought as blade she could support her friend with a set of arts and prevent her from getting more damage than necessary. “Seriously, that woman…”
Nia’s scimitar felt natural to use. Maybe that was because it wasn’t much different to handle than the swords she used normally, but still, it surprised Mòrag how quickly she had adapted to it. With the new weapon, and with the arts Nia used on her she felt much more confident in her odds to win this fight. She was quick to evade the Guldo’s next attacks and returned them with hits of her own. There was something new within her, something warm and electrifying that filled her with strength – on a completely different level than what she felt when she fought with any of her other blades. Even with Brighid, whom she had known half her life… Brighid’s energy was calm and cold, ironically, whereas Nia’s made her feel as if she could move mountains. It was intoxicating.
With a pierce of the scimitar she pushed the enemy back and instinctively, she turned to Nia. Their eyes met for a moment and Mòrag saw the pugnacity in the blade’s golden eyes. With a smile, she called Nia’s name and threw the weapon into the air. Nia caught it with a jump and with a wide sway of the scimitar she summoned a water shock wave and landed a critical hit on the enemy.
The Guldo dissipated into ether and soon thereafter there was not a trace left of him.
“Whew! That was fun!”, Nia said with a grin as she let her sword disappear again. She turned to Mòrag who just stood there, regaining her breath. The gash on her cheek was still bleeding. Nia laid her hand on the other woman’s face, which caught Mòrag’s attention. “Can’t leave that nasty scratch there now, can we?”, she said with the most gentle smile on her lips.
Mòrag closed her eyes when Nia channeled her healing energy onto the wound. Her healing felt like the calm flow of a water stream on her cheek. When Nia was finished, she rubbed her thumb softly over the freshly healed gash and Mòrag opened her eyes again. The first thing she saw were Nia’s brilliant golden eyes.
The blade said something, but Mòrag didn’t hear her – she was too mesmerized, but she saw Nia chuckling lightly. Mòrag slowly raised her hands and cupped Nia’s face in them, and she knew in the back of her mind that this was a bad idea, a really bad one, but she felt her self-restraint slowly melting away with each passing moment she looked into Nia’s eyes. Without thinking any further about it she kissed her softly.
Just this once, Mòrag told herself.
Nia did not have the time to react, because Mòrag immediately retreated again. However, Nia stared at her with her mouth agape, until the realization that she had just been kissed set in and she began to blush furiously. “Wha -?!”
“Milady!”, a voice called from afar.
“Nuh-nuh! It Nia and Mòrag!”
“Hey, fluffy ears!”
“They are alive!”
When their friends’ voices reached them Mòrag turned away, pretending to fix her hat up. Nia just stared at her back, unable to form any coherent sentence. Before she knew it Tora had flown right into her face and knocked her over. “Tora so happy! Friends are okay!”
Out of reflex Nia pushed him away. “Get off me!”
With a “mehmehmeh” the Nopon bounced back against Zeke’s legs who laughed heartily: “I told you: she is too stubborn to die.”
“It’s good to see you.”, Mòrag greeted Pandoria. “Is it only the four of you?” She had immediately snapped back into her usual persona, already gathering the new information her lost friends had to offer.
The blade nodded. “We haven’t come across the others yet.”
Nia couldn’t believe how fast Mòrag was able to pretend everything was fine. She also couldn’t believe what had just happened, but the lingering feeling of Mòrag’s lips on hers was the undeniable proof that she had not imagined things. “What. The. Fu – “
“Milady, are you okay?”, Dromarch asked, his blue eyes watching her closely.
She stared back at him, trying to keep her agitation at bay. “I’m completely fine!”, she yelled.
Dromarch frowned. She sounded like the complete opposite of fine. He looked into the direction she had been staring at and what he saw was Mòrag. He looked back at Nia, whose face was all red and who stared at Mòrag with such an intensity that it was easy for him to put two and two together.
“Did something happen between you and – “
“Just shut it.”, her driver interrupted him.
“Ugh.” Nia hid her face in her hands. The amount of thought she had put into the kiss ever since then was almost embarrassing. She felt stupid for ever considering the possibility that maybe, just maybe Mòrag would have wanted for her to come back with her to Mor Ardain. Even worse, she had hoped for Mòrag to say it when Tora and Rex had asked about everyone’s plans.
“Maybe it’s for the best.” After all, Mòrag had never sought her out to talk about what had happened in Morytha. Maybe it had been just a fleeting fancy and she had been too worked up to see it. Still, a certain answer would have been nice. She hated not knowing what Mòrag thought about her.
“That’s it! I’ve had it!”, she shouted and looked up again. “I will make her talk, even if I have to beat it out of her!”, she decided and with one precise jump she left her place on the tree and landed on the ground.
She didn’t come very far though.
“Nia, I need to talk with you.”, a voice behind her said and the surprise made her jump.
Nia turned around and almost got a heart attack when she saw Mòrag standing behind her.
“Oh, do you now?”, she answered harshly, even though she didn’t really mean it.
She regretted her tone instantly when she saw Mòrag flinch. “What is it?”, she tried again, this time with a calmer demeanour.
“I…” Mòrag stared at the ground. “I realized that I… I mean, about Morytha…”
Nia raised an eyebrow. She never thought she would see the day were Mòrag was at a loss for words – and for what reason? Nia’s heart started to beat faster. Because of her. It had to be. “Just come out with already.”, she urged her, since she couldn’t take the suspense any longer.
Mòrag fell silent and took a breath. Then she raised her head and straightened her posture; she looked as if she was about to give a report to her superior. “I love you.”, she confessed and then her cheeks reddened and she looked very meek all of a sudden. “And I’m sorry that my inability to tell you of my feelings caused you so much pain.”
Nia just stared at her. When Mòrag’s words finally sank in, her face grew red as well. “A-are you daft??”, she shouted and she wasn’t even sure why. “You can’t just go around kissing people, then behave like nothin’s ever happened and then confess your feelings out of the blue!”
“You said to come out with it.”, Mòrag replied and looked away again. Her hand was on her hat’s visor and pulled it down a little to hide her face.
“Holy cricket, but not like that!” Nia wasn’t sure what she felt in this very moment. There were tears in her eyes and she was torn between hugging Mòrag and slapping her. “You are just…” Her voice started to shake. Nia approached her and raised her clenched hand, ready to hit the other woman, and she didn’t know whether this was because Mòrag didn’t show any signs of defiance or because she was simply too overwhelmed to think straight, but in the end she only managed a light knock against her shoulders.
“Oh Architect, you are…” She gave Mòrag second knock with her other hand. “…really something else.”
Mòrag, in response, put her arms around Nia and hugged her close. Her arms were trembling a little bit, but that prompted her to hold Nia even tighter. “I’m sorry.”
Nia shook her head. “It’s alright.” She let herself rest against the other woman and wiped a tear away. She couldn’t tell whether she was the one trembling or Mòrag. Right now, she couldn’t put any coherent thought together. “I need a break to process this. Wanna sit down and watch the sunrise with me?”, she asked without looking her in the face.
“I’d love to.”, Mòrag answered and let her go, so that they both could sit down on the grass.
The sun arose majestically over the horizon and coloured the dark blue sky slowly in soft pastel colours: pink, orange, light blue – the black of the night was barely visible in the far off distance now. The clouds glowed yellow and the fanned out rays of sun were visible behind them.
“So this is Elysium’s first sunrise.”, Nia said after a few minutes of silence. She took a deep breath. The view was refreshing.
A light breeze blew from the orange glowing sea towards them, but she wasn’t cold, because the sunrays warmed her.
“Truly magnificent.”, Mòrag agreed.
Nia glanced bashfully at her, part of her still not believing that Mòrag had confessed her love a few minutes ago. Nia was still at a loss at what to reply. She had certainly felt comfortable and secure by her side, when it was just the two of them alone in Morytha, but… would that be enough? Could she really say that she loved Mòrag the same way? And even if she did, because she had never thought about rejecting her all this time, there was still the problem of her being a flesh eater… How would a future together even look like?
Jin’s words came to her mind again, that only he and the other members of Torna could be her family, because only they would be around for as long as she would. Everyone else would die too soon, if she ever found someone to accept her as who she was. And she had believed him for the longest while, all the lies he had fed to her about everyone hating flesh eaters, enhanced by the fact that she had been chased by the Praetorium for that very reason. This is why she had wanted to leave Rex and Pyra after she had helped them reach Torigoth.
Anxiety stirred her heart. Of course, she knew now that she had been manipulated into staying with them, because her enhanced healer capabilities from being turned into a flesh eater had been invaluable to them, but there was one thing she couldn’t deny: Flesh eaters did indeed live for far longer than any human being.
“Nia, there is something else I still wanted to ask you.”, Mòrag suddenly said and yanked her back to the present.
“If you’re going to propose to me now, I swear I’ll…!”
Mòrag laughed before Nia could finish her threat. “Don’t worry, it’s not that.”
That calmed Nia down a bit, she turned to Mòrag and watched her curiously.
“I was wondering…”, Mòrag began. When she paused for a moment, she began tapping her fingers against the ground.
If she hadn’t assured Nia that she wasn’t going to propose, the uncharacteristic fiddling may have prompted the Gormotti to think so anyways. Instead of pressuring her though, Nia decided to wait this time around for Mòrag to continue.
“Would you like to accompany me to Mor Ardain?”
Nia’s heart made a little jump. “About that…” She scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “Part of me had hoped you’d have said that while we were sitting at the campfire.”, she admitted. When she saw the subtle glow of excitement in the other woman’s eyes, she quickly continued: “But I don’t know.”
Mòrag’s face turned pensive, a little disappointed even. “May I ask if there is a reason for your hesitation?” She tried to take it with equanimity.
“Uh, well…”
“Is it about Rex?”, she guessed.
“Not everything I say and do is about him!”, Nia replied angrily.
“I’m sorry.”, Mòrag apologized immediately and with a gesture she told her to carry on.
Nia felt bad for losing her composure. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to put her thoughts into words. “I’m afraid.”, she admitted meekly.
“Oh?” Clearly, Mòrag hadn’t expected such an answer. “Why is that?”
“I… because I don’t know.”, Nia simply said. “Because I don’t know if I will be able to say ‘I love you’ back, but also because I feel that I may be able to do just that someday soon.”
She frowned, knowing that her words must sound very confusing. She took a breath and tried again: “Let’s say I go with you and we live together in Mor Ardain and I fall in love with you for real. We live a happy life for, let’s say about sixty to seventy years – and then your time comes and you die. The thought scares me, because I will be left alone and heartbroken.”, she tried to elaborate. “I am a flesh eater. I don’t have the luxury of returning to my core crystal and forget about everything hurtful in my life once my driver dies.”
Mòrag thought a while about those words. “It is true that flesh eaters live longer than your average person and as such, you will most likely see your loved ones die long before you do.”, she summarized. “But Nia, does it really make a difference then, whether you return with me to Mor Ardain or not?”, she wondered aloud. “You already made friends on your journey. Friends, who will one day die before you. I am one of them. Do you really deem it a better solution to distance yourself from me and the others, instead of living a joyful life by their side?”
Nia frowned. “It’s the least hurtful way.”, she said half-heartedly, her gaze on the ground now.
“Is it really?”, Mòrag asked. “I used to distance myself from others too. It was a necessary sacrifice, so that I could protect my brother and earn the respect of my peers. It was a very lonely life until I traveled with you and the others – and then I realized that a lonely life is hurtful in its own way, too.” She reached a hand out, but hesitated. “It is not my place to change your mind, but I believe that spending your life with someone you love is a great gift, and that the pain that awaits someone when their partner dies is a price worth in exchange for those years of happiness.”
“Hell, as if I didn’t know that…” Nia raised the corner of her mouth in an awkward smile. “It’s just…” She rose her gaze again to meet Mòrag’s and grabbed the hand that had wanted to reach out to her, her golden eyes brimming with tears. “I just wished it didn’t have to happen at all.”, she said while the tears started flowing.
“I know.”, Mòrag said with a sad smile. “Who doesn’t after all?” She hugged Nia close, which prompted the flesh eater to sob and let her cry on her shoulder.
And there it was again, the feeling of security and belonging Nia already had felt in Morytha and she cried even more, because the embrace gave her the comfort to do so freely. There was privacy and understanding in the small space within Mòrag’s arms and Nia wasn’t ashamed to let her feelings all out, because Mòrag caught them all and held her so tight that it seemed impossible to fall apart, even when the weight of everything she was threatened to crush her.
Nia never wanted to part with her ever again.
It was Mythra who first noticed Nia and Mòrag returning to the camp. She sat with Pyra and Rex on Azurda’s back, trying to catch some fish with make-shift fishing rods. Zeke and Pandoria had announced about an hour ago that they’d hunt something small for lunch and everyone had agreed that it was better to have a backup plan ready. Knowing their luck, they’d probably stumble over an angry ardun and get knocked into oblivion.
She had noticed movements from the corner of her eye and when she turned around she saw the duo, which was immediately greeted by Brighid and Dromarch. Tora joined them shortly after.
“Rex.”, she called him and her driver turned around too. His eyes widened when he saw Nia and immediately, he stood up and ran towards the duo.
Pyra and Mythra exchanged a quick glance before they followed him.
“I guess Tora was technically right with his girl-talk idea then.”, Nia commented after she had heard of what had happened during her absence. She was smiling amusedly, holding on to Mòrag’s arm with her hand.
“Nia!”, Rex called out while he came running towards them.
Brighid and Dromarch made a step aside to let him through and he stopped a few steps apart from them, catching his breath.
Nia looked at him. “Rex.” She turned to Mòrag, who nodded encouragingly at her and walked the last few steps to meet him on his way.
“Nia, I’m sorry –“, he began, but Nia raised an arm to indicate him to stop.
“No, Rex, I should apologize.”, she said. “You were worried because of what I told you in Elpys, but that wasn’t really the reason why I walked off yesterday night.” She turned her head towards Mòrag and then back to Rex again. “Well, not the only one, that is.”, she added guiltily.
“Nia?” He seemed a bit confused.
Nia hesitated, unsure of how to explain everything. “Rex, I want to go with Mòrag to Mor Ardain.” Maybe it was better to just tell him straight up about her decision and answer whatever questions may follow.
It was Pyra and Mythra who understood first.
Pyra’s red eyes widened and she only managed a simple “oh”.
Mythra on the other hand nodded in acknowledgement. “Congrats you two.”, she commented while she rested her hand on her hip with a knowing smile.
Rex looked at his two blades, not sure what to make of their behaviour. Then he looked back at Nia whose cheeks had turned red. Only then did he seem to put things together. When the realization finally hit him his face went from confused to smiling brightly.
He grabbed her hands and grinned. “Do what makes you happy, Nia.”
“I already am.”, she replied with a smirk.
It was after lunch when the group finally decided to separate and go their respective ways.
Mòrag and Nia had wanted to walk back to Mor Ardain, instead of having Azurda drop them off at Alba Cavanich. There were a few reasons for that, the first and most obvious being that they needed and wanted some time alone with each other after all of today’s revelations and the second was, that there probably wouldn’t be much of an opportunity to do that once they reached the empire, because Mor Ardain had suffered a lot of damage and it stood to reason that Mòrag would be busy helping her brother in rebuilding what had been lost.
Luckily, everywhere was walking distance now since all the titans had merged together to build this new land.
They had been walking in silence for maybe ten minutes, their primary blades flanking them.
“This is…” Nia sheepishly scratched the back of her head. “… kinda weird. Do I… hold your hand or something?”
“Well…” It was obvious that Mòrag did not have an answer to this. Her cheeks had turned pink and her gaze was on the ground. “I would like that…”, she admitted slowly.
Dromarch watched the exchange with wide blue eyes. He had never seen any of the two drivers behave in the bashful way they did now.
Brighid had a soft smile on her face, slowly shaking her head at the awkwardness.
Nia wasn’t sure why Mòrag’s answer surprised her. Maybe it was because she had never deemed the other woman as someone who would openly ask for physical affection.
“Alright then…” She took Mòrag’s hand in hers and felt the warmth of the Ardainian woman radiating through her glove onto her own palm. It was a nice feeling, it tingled her skin. She looked at Mòrag who in turn gave her a little smile. Her face was even redder than before and her gaze uncharacteristically soft.
Nia’s lips curved into a subconscious smile when she saw that. Mòrag seemed like a completely different person now, so much kinder and softer than she had been during their journey. Nia couldn’t wait to get to know this side of her better.
“Hey, so… should I kiss you too?”, Nia asked and felt her face grow warm.
The question prompted a chuckle from Dromarch and Brighid.
Nia felt herself getting embarrassed. “What?”
“Nothing…” Dromarch answered with an amused smile. “Shall we leave the two of you alone for a while?”
“N-no! I mean, maybe…?” She looked helplessly at Mòrag.
“Nia, I know that I…took you by surprise when I confessed my feelings.”, Mòrag began.
“Surprise is really not a good enough word for that…”, Nia murmured and glanced away sideways.
Mòrag heard her and tried not to smile. “Take your time. You don’t need to feel obligated to do certain things.”, she continued.
“I don’t feel obligated, I’m just…”, Nia trailed off, unsure of what she wanted to say. She wanted to try things out, wanted to know how it would feel like to kiss her again or to sleep by her side or be in Mòrag’s strong embrace again. Yet, she hesitated about initiating either of those things. She wasn’t sure why. Something inside her was holding her back – no, not ‘something’. It was fear. Fear of letting this happen. She was afraid of a happy relationship ending long before she even properly entered it. Still the same problem she had voiced earlier before. Being almost immortal wasn’t exactly an issue that could be solved easily.
“Nia, wait!”, a voice suddenly called out behind them.
“Hm?” A bit surprised Nia turned around and saw Mythra standing in the distance. She was panting, an indicator that she had been running after them. Nia let go of Mòrag’s hand and walked back to talk with her. “What’s wrong?”
Mythra waited until she regained her breath, but even then, she didn’t directly come out with what she wanted to say.
“Just so you know, no one sent me after you to say what I’m about to say next.”, she began and Nia couldn’t tell whether her face was flushed from running or something else.
“Okay?” Nia cocked her head a little.
Mythra averted her gaze and took a deep breath, her cheeks all red. “I love you.”
Nia thought she misheard. “Say what now?!”, she yelled and made a surprised jump back.
“D-don’t get this wrong!”, Mythra immediately shouted. “It’s not what you think!”
“How could anyone not take this the wrong way?!” Nia shouted. She tried to calm down again, but wasn’t much successful. As if one love confession hadn’t been enough!
Mythra crossed her arms and huffed. “Nia, listen… Pyra and I – we consider you a sister.”, she began, hoping that Nia would calm down if she heard the reasoning behind those words. “You always tried your best to help us when we were in trouble. Rex even told us about the time you tried to beat some sense into him in Tantal when we went with Malos.”
“Someone had to; he wanted to tuck his tail and go home after all.” Nia remembered.
“I know.” Mythra smiled a little. “And that’s the best example of who you are, Nia. You care about everyone and never once tried to get between us and Rex, even though you had feelings for him too.”
The Gormotti just shrugged. “He never thought of me that way, anyway.”
“That may be so, but he and Pyra, they love you regardless; you are family.”, Mythra continued. “And… when you walked off yesterday I thought about a lot of things and about what may have been weighing on your mind. I thought that you might have considered shutting yourself away from everyone.”
“Because I am a flesh eater?”, Nia asked even though she knew the answer already. Mythra was right. She just wanted to confirm.
“Yes. Jin had been around for a very long time after all – and chances are that it’s the same for you and when I thought about how you may feel now that everything is over, I thought: yeah, maybe that’s also a reason why she seemed so upset the other day.”
Nia averted her gaze. “It did cross my mind…”, she confessed. And while Mòrag had made clear as to why it was better to still live with people instead of shutting them out, it was still a burden that weighed on her chest, because she didn’t know how she’d ever deal with the loss of her beloved friends someday.
“That is why I wanted to talk with you before you left.”, Mythra said. “To tell you that you can always come back to us.”
“Huh?” Nia looked up with surprise.
“Pyra and I are the Aegis and Rex, as our driver, is bound to live for longer than your average person.”, Mythra explained. “So it’s pretty probable that we will be around for longer than you are.”
Suddenly, Nia understood what Mythra wanted to say.
Mythra saw the change in her expression and took her hands. “Don’t ever think that you are going to end up all alone in this world.”, she said and squeezed her hands tightly. “We will be here for you and we will always love you, even if we go separate ways now.”
Nia had a lump in her throat. Unable to speak she just nodded while the tears streamed down her face.
“The future will be painful, because we will meet many more people we will care about and who will leave us too early, but…” Now Mythra’s golden eyes gleamed with tears too. “But it will also be bright and filled with meaningful experiences. If the pain ever gets too much, just remember that you have a home with us. That’s what family is for after all… right?”
“Right…” Nia agreed with stifled voice. She went in for a big bear hug and Mythra caught her with ease. “Thanks for coming all the way, just to tell me that.”
“Heh, no problem…”, Mythra whispered and petted Nia’s head. “And now off with you, your future awaits you.”
Nia nodded and let go. “I will see you guys around.”, she said and wiped the tears away.
“You bet.” Mythra gave her one last smile and then Nia turned around and took her place by Mòrag’s side again. She took a last look towards Mythra’s direction, but the blade had already left.
As she intertwined their fingers together, Nia noticed how she felt much lighter, now that Mythra had told her all those things. She knew that the fear of outliving everyone and the pain associated with that would always be there, but it was much smaller now.
Mythra had reassured her that she wouldn’t end up all alone, that she Rex and Pyra would always be there for her and she realized that this very thing had made up the largest part of her fears.
She promised herself to live and be happy and to not let her worries take over and stop her from enjoying the only life she had.
“Mòrag?”
“Yes?”
Nia smirked abashed. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed the other woman.