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“Well, that isn’t what I expected to happen,” said Howl in the other room. Sophie was in the flower shop arranging flowers, and had hoped it was safe to leave him on his own for a bit. He had always seemed more or less able to look after himself, but that was when Calcifer had been tied to the hearth. Calcifer was currently making use of his new freedom to travel about the country, and Sophie and Howl hadn’t quite got used to his occasional absences yet.
“What is it?” she replied.
“You remember Mrs. Pentstemmon’s bequest to me, the wing chair?”
Sophie remembered it well. She would have been hard put not to remember it, for it was a huge, gaudy thing, full of carved crevices that would be extremely difficult to dust, and it was currently taking up far too much of their living space. (It had not been long since Sophie had been an elderly cleaning lady, and some things stuck with her, like looking at gifts of furniture primarily from the viewpoint of how difficult they would be to clean.) “Yes?”
“I thought I’d shrink it down, so it wouldn’t be so much in the way. Now look at it!”
Sophie came and looked. “I did suggest you could give it away, you know.”
“I won’t insult Mrs. Pentstemmon’s memory by discarding the only remembrance I have from her,” Howl said haughtily.
“So instead you’ll turn it into a… what is that, exactly?”
It was hard to say just what it had become. It was just as big as before and still slightly chair-shaped, but it had taken the “wing” description to an extreme. It had quite a profusion of wings now, overlapping each other and pointing in different directions. Most of the wings were a lovely rich burgundy, the colour the chair’s upholstery had been, but there were a few smaller wings the deep brown of the chair’s woodwork.
“I wonder how it can fly with all those wings overlapping each other?” Sophie mused.
“Don’t say--” Howl started, but it was too late. With a confused flopping motion, the chair-creature seemed to try to fly--at least, all its wings were beating now, raising quite a wind. The creature managed to raise itself a few feet off the ground, but it was clearly struggling--it was tilting a bit from the different wings moving different amounts of air.
“Can you speak?” Sophie asked it hopefully. “I’m sure you can. Go on, now. What are you?”
At first it seemed as though Sophie’s encouragements had been in vain, and she worried that she hadn’t done it right. She had only recently learned that she had magic at all, and that her magic worked by talking to people (and to things) in a quite natural way. But as she was opening her mouth to try again, Howl flapped his hand at her and she noticed the sound of the beating wings was starting to make noises that were almost words, then they were words.
“Thhhhhank youuu,” it gusted. “Ammmmmm Selllllaaaaa. Oooollllld faaaaamily naammmme. Whooooo arrre yooooou?”
“I am the Wizard Howl Pendragon,” said Howl grandly, “and this is my wife Sophie.”
The whirring seemed to take on a dubious note. “Roooyal Wizaaaaard?”
Howl said “No” at the same time Sophie said “For now.” They looked at each other crossly and Sophie added, “Well, His Majesty hasn’t taken it back yet. You and Ben are both Royal Wizards right now. And if you don’t like it, you can go and talk to His Majesty like you’ve been saying you were going to do this past fortnight and more.”
“All right, yes, Royal Wizard,” grumbled Howl. “Does it matter?”
The burgundy wings stilled, which greatly reduced the draft in the room, and the creature dropped back to the floor. The smaller, brown wings continued to beat--apparently this was how it created the sounds that made up its speech.
“Ammmmmm onnnn quest. Roooyal Wizaaaaard caaaannnnn hellllp.”
“What sort of a quest is it?” asked Sophie. “And do leave out all those extra letters, it can’t be comfortable to have all your words buzzing around like that.”
“Ah, thank you. This is more comfortable. You are kind to a chair. Quest is to become Endowed Chair. Heard of Endowed Chairs when was young chair in Montalbino, set out on quest. Met Oracle, said Royal Wizard can help. No Royal Wizard in Montalbino, Witch instead. Not even Royal Witch, just Witch. Asked Witch anyway. Witch studied portents, said can help me get to Royal Wizard. Witch cast spell, I go to sleep, wake up now. Royal Wizard here!”
“And. Erm. You were a different shape just now. Do you always shift form when you sleep, or was that part of the spell?”
“Am wing chair. All wing chairs like that when asleep.”
“Oh my. Does that mean all wing chairs are really asleep and can wake up?”
“Yes. Maybe. Some chairs old, tired, choose to stay sleeping.”
“And other kinds of chairs? Are they also asleep?”
“No! Of course. Other kinds of chair are imitation. Made of wood. Not live. But not relevant, what about quest?”
“Yes, sorry, I was distracted. I had no idea wing chairs were alive. I hope I’ve always treated them well,” Sophie said worriedly.
“Is fine. Is good to sleep, good to be sat on. To be sat on is comfortable in sleep like warm blanket.”
“Oh, good. Well, I’ve heard of Endowed Chairs, but I think they’re always part of universities, and we don’t have a university here in Ingary. Howl, do you know which is the nearest country with a university?” Sophie asked, turning to Howl.
Howl grimaced. “In fact, the king just told me he wants to set up a university. He says that since I’m a Royal Wizard, I should find the land for it. How am I supposed to get anything done if I’m traipsing around the country looking for a good spot to build a university? What does that even look like?”
“Well, Calcifer is traveling around the country, perhaps he’ll have spotted something. He is due back tomorrow, isn’t he?”
~~~~~
The king blinked a little at the idea of an actual chair for an Endowed Chair, as he had thought an Endowed Chair was something quite different, but he agreed that an Endowed Chair was an excellent thing for a university to have. So Sella became an Endowed Chair at the new University in Ingary.
Howl had argued for Sella to be named the Pentstemmon Chair in memory of Mrs. Pentstemmon. Sophie contended that Sella was its own creature and shouldn’t have someone else’s name attached without consenting to it. Sella (after asking to hear more about Mrs. Pentstemmon) settled the matter by saying it would be honoured to be the Pentstemmon Chair. In time Sella became not only the oddest, but also the best Endowed Chair the University of Ingary would ever have. It spent most of its time sleeping quite happily but always woke up in time for department meetings.
~~~~~
“Do you think she knew ?” Sophie asked Howl later.
“Of course she did. Mrs. Pentstemmon knew everything.”
And having met Mrs. Pentstemmon herself, Sophie believed him.