Roses and Violets

by Blacksky92

Summary:

What happens when Zack catches Reno perving on the new cadets? He decides its punishment time.

Chapter 1

Reno leaned against the cold, wet concrete wall of the Shinra cadet shower block. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t his favourite place to check out all the fresh meat. His eyes ran over naked ass after naked ass, sometimes he would get especially lucky and one would turn around and face him, cock dangling freely between muscle driven thighs, as though it had a mind of its own.

He wanted nothing more than to take that length in his mouth and suck it till it was dry.

He was hungry for men, an appetite that was never easily satisfied.

“What are you doing Reno?” A husky voice suddenly violated his ears. He hadn’t even seen the man coming, though that’s likely because his attention was elsewhere...

“Oh, ya know.” The red head began as he hastily pushed himself off the wall before sliding his fingers through his hair, as if nothing were the matter.

“Your damn lucky no ones put a sexual harassment case against you yet, you know.” Zack shook his head as if disapproving of the man’s behaviour, yet a sly smile lingered on his lips as he turned to walk away.

No.

He couldn't let this example of sex on legs just walk away.

“What are you doing later yo?” Reno ran his tongue tantalizingly over his lips, as if fantasizing about them running over a specific part of the dark haired soldier’s anatomy.

“You.” Zack shot his head back toward the red haired Turk before tossing him a wink.

He didn't really need to look to know the redhead wanted him

“Is that right?” Reno paced slowly toward the dark haired soldier.

“What about that cute blonde cadet you always hang around with?”

“He’s far too innocent Reno.”

“And I’m not?”

“Hardly.” Zack could hardly deny his laughter the opportunity to escape as he turned back.

“Come over to my place at 9.”

 

*~*~*

 

 

Reno didn’t need to ask for directions to Zack’s apartment, he’d been there enough times to do it blindfolded. He tossed smile after endless smile to various Shinra employees as they strode past him, all failing to hide the confusion in their eyes as he strolled towards the Soldier block of apartments.

They all knew he was no Soldier.

The redhead dashed up long stairways before reaching the third floor, he cruised along a narrow concrete balcony before stopping outside his destination. He was pleased to find the door already open.

“I’m here yo!” Reno called out from the doorway before inviting himself into Zack’s apartment.

“You know where my bed is Reno, I’ll be there shortly.” Zack yelled out from what Reno presumed was the bathroom.

Reno waltzed into the man’s bedroom before making himself comfortable on the enormous queen sized bed. He felt movement in his trousers, he did well to resist sliding his hand down there and squeezing himself until he screamed.

He did well, but not well enough as he undid his trouser button, exploring though waves of red public hair before settling on his cock. He gave the organ a gentle squeeze as a moan escaped his lips.

“You better not be starting without me.”

“Well if you were in my ass on time, I wouldn’t have to yo.”

Zack chuckled before appearing in the doorway, his body was adorned with a leather vest, accompanied by a tight leather g-string. The soldier held within his right hand a long whip as he teased the tip with his left hand.  

“You’ve been very naughty Reno.” Zack murmured in his lowest voice as he leaned against his bedroom door frame. He raised the whip before cracking it against the end of his bed, as if to add emphasis to his words.

“You sound surprised yo.” The seasoned Turk offered the man a cheeky smile, hardly phased by the movement of the whip. 

“Barely. But more importantly, why have you still got clothes on?” Zack tapped his finger teasingly against his lip, as though truly confounded by the problem.

A smirk appeared on the redhead’s lips as he got the message loud and clear. He threw his shirt off at a rate never witnessed by the soldier himself. The garment landed on the floor before being quickly followed by the man’s trousers. He lay on his stomach, kicking his legs teasingly into the air as he exposed every ounce of his flesh to the dark haired soldier.

“Turks are known for their speed you know.”

“You don’t disappoint.” Zack slowly ran his tongue over his lips as he leaned over the edge of the bed.

“So what are ya gonna do to me yo?”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to sit on that gorgeous ass of yours for a week.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Zack tossed the whip to the floor before throwing his vest and g string along with it. He wasted no time as he climbed on top of the Turk.

“Let my lips do the work.” Reno winked as he ran his tongue over Zack’s lips, trailing it along before stalling at his scar.

“You have no idea how much that excites me.”

Reno pushed the Soldier over until his back was against the mattress. He then proceeded to climb onto the man, aiming his ass toward Zack’s mouth. Sixty nine always was his favourite position. Reno waded through thick clumps of black, wiry hair before collecting the Soldier’s cock in his fingers. He wasted no time taking the man into his mouth, gliding his tongue along the tip before driving it into the slit. He felt the man’s body jerk in response as it craved more of what the redhead was offering.

Reno took the man further, sliding his cock down into his warm, tight throat. Zack moaned out as throngs of pleasure seized his body. He sunk his fingers into Reno’s bum cheeks, slowly prying them apart to reveal his tight opening. He could barely control his hormones as he ran the tip of his tongue around the ring before sliding it in. Reno’s cock throbbed as his anus was at the receiving end of Zack’s undivided attention.

Reno greedily took Zack further into his mouth, as though he were a starved animal, an appetite only satisfied in part by gazing upon the naked bodies of recruits.

“As much as I love your tongue Reno, I wanna feel your tightness around me.”

Reno allowed the man’s cock to fall from his lips, a trail of saliva dangled between the member and his lips before finally severing.

“You don’t need to ask me twice.”

Zack shuffled himself out from under the Turk before climbing up behind him.

Reno felt a shiver drive through his body as Zack pressed his cock to the redhead’s opening. He was begging for it, craving it, wanting nothing else in that moment but to be filled to the max with the soldier’s impressive length.

“Come on Zack, do it. Fuck me yo.”

The dark haired man chuckled before pressing the tip of his cock through the anything but virgin opening. Waves of pleasure coursed through the Soldiers body, growing in size until they consumed his entire body.

“Reno you slut.” Zack gasped, as if not meaning to release the uncensored words from his lip as the Turk's tightness engulfed his member.  

“Ah! You better believe it! Now fuck me harder yo!”

“With pleasure.” Zack smirked as he drove his cock as far into Reno as his body would allow.

“Zack!” The redhead cried out as the man filled his insides with copious amounts of his seed.

 

Chapter 2

“What’s this?” Zack narrowed his eyes, instinctively pointing at a piece of paper at the edge of the General’s desk.

“Don’t touch that Zack.” Sephiroth sighed lazily, not bothering to look up from the surmounting pile of reports that lay scattered about his desk. Yet, they appeared to be in some kind of order that only the General could possibly decipher.

“Hmm.” Zack began as he snatched the piece of paper from the pile, despite being specifically told not to. The truth was that he wouldn’t have bothered if a specific name upon it hadn’t caught his attention.

“Reno? What’s he done now?” Zack screwed up his face, yet he remained unaware that he had spoken the words aloud.

“Why don’t you read it and find out.” The general sighed, appearing to grow tired of his lieutenant’s presence. Though, the man was the only one he could truly tolerate in large doses, and Zack knew it too.

“What? You just told me not to touch it and now you mean I actually have to-”

“Read? Yes. Plus I know you’d just do it anyway.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes, yet his irritation had yet to manifest in his gaze.

It was Zack’s turn to sigh as his eyes searched the page lazily, trying to identify any key words that would spare his eyes the hassle of reading the myriad of words that littered the page.

Sephiroth savoured the few moments of silence before being jolted back to reality by the distraction in his office.

“A sexual harassment charge?!” Zack’s eyes widened as they ran back and forth over the words, as though having trouble comprehending exactly what they meant.

“Yes.” Sephiroth stated as he continued to adorn page after page with his signature.

“Does he know?”

“Know what?” Sephiroth finally darted his eyes towards his second in command before rising to his feet.

Zack hadn’t been expecting the general to move so suddenly, though that had hardly prepared him for what was about to happen next.

Zack gasped as the piece of paper was torn from his fingers. His lips moved in great secession but seemed unable to formulate words as he watched the silver haired general mindless toss the paper over his shoulder. Zack’s jaw dropped as the page got sucked out the window behind the General, before being dragged out of sight by a gust of wind.

“W-what just happened?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about Zack.”

“So he’s not getting charged then?” The raven haired Soldier sought clarification in the form of direct words.

“He’ll get spoken to, but I suspect that is as far as it will go.”

“By Tseng?”

“By me.” Sephiroth turned on his heel before occupying the seat behind his desk once more.

“Why you?” Zack rested both hands on the general’s desk before leaning forward. The second’s face was mere inches away from the silver haired god, who didn’t seem phased in the slightest.

“Because the complaint was raised by one of the soldier recruits.”

“Right…” Zack nodded half hazardly, as though trying to figure out which one. There were so many Reno harassed, its hard to know which one would actually take it higher.

“Can you guess what your next task is Lieutenant Fair?” Sephiroth’s voice became stern, yet his eyes revealed the inner amusement.

“Fetching Reno?” Zack paced the floor of the general’s enormous office, nodding his head at his own words. He didn’t need confirmation from the other man to know this was it.

“Indeed. I trust it won’t take you long.” Sephiroth smirked, it was a gesture that alluded to something deeper. Did he know about what happened between Reno and him last night?

But if so, how?

Hidden cameras?

Surely not?

He found it difficult to believe Sephiroth would be interested enough to do such a thing or be that perverse. He seemed only interested in work, yielding his ridiculously long sword and working out (which was kind of the same thing).

Zack offered the general a smile, as though unable to think of any other suitable response as he stood before the man.

“Now would be good Zackary.”

“Right.”

 

~*~*~

 

Zack paced down the Shinra corridor, dutifully acknowledging everyone that greeted him as he attempted to pick up his pace.

How would he even give his friend a heads up?

What an awkward conversation to have, but would Reno ever care?

He hadn’t cared so far…

But this was serious now!

Zack shook the thoughts from his head as he thought of Sephiroth waiting for him to complete this little mission. Zack stopped in front of his door before rifling through his pockets for his key.

Bingo.

Zack bolted through the door, only stopping just short of his bed before leaning over it. His lips were mere inches from the wild red hair that had taken over his bed.  

“I think you’re in for it.” Zack whispered, cold and serious, yet not absent genuine concern as his eyes ran over the naked body in his bed. Even half asleep Reno had no shame as his body lay face down and sprawled across the bed. Yet it was this that made him appreciate the man even more.

Reno pushed himself off of the bed with his arms as he turned to face the dark haired SOLDIER.

“What do you mean?” Something about the usually upbeat fun loving second in command seemed off… Was he perhaps serious about this?

“Sephiroth wants to see you.” Zack closed his eyes as he delivered the words to the redhead, as though doing so would shield himself from Reno’s bite back.

“Me?” Reno raised an eyebrow, as though doubting the great general would wish to speak with him.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Now.”

Reno’s eyes tore open and he bolted from the bed.

 

~*~*~

 

Zack felt as though he was leading Reno to his imminent slaughter as he lead the way into the General’s office.

“Have a seat Reno.” Tseng indicated towards a cluster of available seats.

“You may go Zack.” Tseng added, the slight agitation was apparent in his voice as the SOLDIER loitered in front of the general’s desk.

Zack darted Sephiroth a confused glance before receiving a nod agreeing with the Turk’s words.

“What’s this about?” Reno began as he watched Zack slowly leave the room.

“There has been a complaint laid against you but the charge sheet seems to have disappeared.” Tseng began, his eyes darting towards Sephiroth, attempting to seek out his gaze. If for no other reason than making it apparent that he suspected the general had had a hand in its disappearance…

Sephiroth seemed more than a little bit aware of his intention as he deliberately avoided Tseng’s gaze.

The Turk boss turned his back to both Reno and Sephiroth, returning to scanning the roof tops of other buildings from the window behind the general’s desk. He didn’t bother to turn and face his red haired subordinate as he let the words fall from his lips. The vague essence of a smirk toyed on Sephiroth’s lips as he watched Reno raise an elegant eyebrow.

“Against me? By who?! About what?” Reno sat bolt upright in his seat, as though surprised by the words, yet he really shouldn’t have been.

“Sexual harassment. But we can’t tell you who laid the complaint, its confidential.”

“Confidential my ass! How come they get to remain anonymous while I get ratted out in front of everyone?”

“Ratted out to everyone? This is hardly a TV broadcast across Midgar." Sephiroth resisted the urge to uncharacteristically chuckle. Then again, he always seemed to find the downfall of others to be amusing.

"So you admit the sexual harassment charge?” Tseng interrupted.

Reno stopped, apparently considering the words as he tapped his index finger against his cheek.

“Well of course.” A playful smirk abruptly flashed across Reno’s lips as he leaned back in his seat, suddenly seeming proud of the complaints against him. His fingers danced over the top button of his shirt, as though threatening to undo it, if for no other reason than to back up his words. His eyes searched for the general’s before finally drawing their attention.

Tseng shook his head as he closed his eyes. He didn’t know why he expected anything different from his wildly predictable subordinate.

“I think we are finished here general.” Tseng began, realising they were going nowhere with this. Some things would never change and Reno was one of them.

“Perhaps you are right.” Sephiroth smirked, not bothering to pull his gaze off of the redhead lounging, somewhat teasingly before him.

Sephiroth watched as Tseng left his office. He deliberately waited until his ears were greeted with the click of the door.

“You owe me one.” Sephiroth leaned over his desk, his silver hair dangling mere inches above the polished wooden surface. He seemed more than delighted to see the ordinarily cool Turk flinch ever so slightly.

Reno wasted no time recovering his regular unphased demeanor as he rose to his feet.

“Oh, is that right? And how might one go about repaying his debt?” Reno leaned forward, his lips mere inches from the stoic general’s. He had never paid this closer attention to the man’s features before, they were striking, dangerous and unyielding, yet tantalizing.

“You can start by getting these off.” Sephiroth flicked his fingers against Reno’s belt buckle, his lips coming as close to what resembled a genuine smile as they had all day.

“Sexual harassment huh? Speak for yourself.” Reno smacked his lips with his hand, as though he were confronted with the biggest scandal of his young, but far from inexperienced life.

“It’s not harassment if the other person wants it.” Sephiroth smirked, his eyes locking with the Turk.

“Oh yeah, and what makes you so sure I  want it?” Reno leaned closer still, his breath dancing in a captivating fashion across the general’s cheek.

“You always want it.” Sephiroth smirked as Reno appeared satisfied, yet almost delighted with the answer.

“Can’t argue with that.” The redhead resigned himself, well aware of the general’s gaze as the redhead shamelessly stripped himself of his clothes, allowing them to fall into a pile at his feet.

Reno strutted around the large wooden desk, his fingers playfully sliding upon the surface as his body turned the corner, exposing his naked glory in full to the general.

“Is this what you wanted?” Reno whispered, his breath hot against Sephiroth’s neck as the redhead climbed onto the general’s lap. He didn’t know why he bothered asking, he knew this was exactly what he wanted. His skin began to prickle, reminding him that he was the only one without any clothes on, yet it only added to his arousal. His fingers went straight for the general’s belt buckle, he wasted no time withdrawing the large, pulsating member before sliding his body to it’s knees and drawing the member to his lips. There was no hesitation in his actions, each movement was carried out with deliberate precision.

Sephiroth grasped the back of Reno’s head, his fingers entangled with a wash of red as he drew the Turk closer against his groin.

Reno truly was the expert at this as the general felt his balls tighten. The pleasure had consumed him, coursing through him like a river after a torrential storm. He couldn’t stop, although that’s what he thought until his office door suddenly slammed open.

Sephiroth’s eyes bolted open as he instinctively grasped the completely naked redhead by the upper arm before shoving him under his desk in one swift movement.  

“Rufus.” Sephiroth stated as he did well to maintain his cool. His dick was missing the warm lips as it remained engorged with blood against his abdomen. He had never been so glad for the large desk barring his lower half from the eyes of the company vice president.

Reno smirked as he nestled himself between Sephiroth’s chiseled and perfectly carved thighs. His cock was still out and waiting to be sucked. He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t resist as he leaned forward, resting his hands on the man’s hips before taking the man without hesitation.

Sephiroth gasped slightly as the pleasurable sensation returned in full. Though, he did well to catch himself as his cock became engulfed within the Turks wet, warm lips.

“What is it?” Rufus eyed the general, concern and suspicion were rife on his face.

“Nothing, just a sharp pain.” Sephiroth lied as he struggled to push Reno away, a mix of not truly wanting to and the redhead’s relentless lips.   

“Perhaps you should go and see Hojo?”

“No, it’s gone now.”

“It could be serious.” Rufus climbed to his feet, his pace threatening to extend itself to behind his prized fighters desk.

“No! Nope! It’s fine!” Sephiroth growled, praying his words alone would be enough to deter the vice president from completing his mission of getting any closer to him.

“If you say so.” Rufus eyed him suspiciously but backed off and reclaimed his seat.

“Is there something you were after?” Sephiroth diverted the conversion straight to the point.

“Yes, I hear there was an incident involving one of the Turks?”

“What kind of incident?” The General pressed, wishing at times that the vice president wouldn’t be so vague.

“A sexual harassment incident.”

“That matter has been resolved, the individual involved has been spoken to.” Sephiroth did his best to instill confidence in the vice president with his words.

“As long as you are sure. Who was it?”

“I don’t think that matters.”

“Come on, it’s just us.” Rufus pressed, leaning forward as Sephiroth considered lying to protect the man with his shaft down his throat.

“A blonde boy, his name alludes me.” Sephiroth clenched his teeth, he had never been especially good at being deceitful.

“Ah, I think I know the one, but there I was assuming it was Reno.” Rufus chuckled as he rose once again to his feet.

“He’s always causing me great trouble that one.” The vice president added before making for the door.

Sephiroth offered the man a forced smile but nothing more.

The suction around his cock was back with vengeance. It was only a matter of mere seconds before Sephiroth felt himself explode in the Turks mouth.

Reno began to crawl out from under the man’s desk, as the sound of the door shutting before climbing once more onto the general’s lap.

“Well Rufus was right about one thing, I am trouble.” Reno whispered hard against Sephiroth’s ear, his tongue and hot breath unable to resist exploring inside.  

“And that’s another one you owe me.”

Chapter 3

So typical.

He always made the wrong decision. Perhaps it was just a curse, one he was destined to have to endure for the rest of his life.  

Reno shook his head as he stood in his usual stomping ground…

The Shinra cadets shower block.

Which one of these runts was responsible for him a getting spoken to by Tseng? Dragged over the coals and his reputation in tatters?

Not that it wasn’t already but that was hardly the point.

The redhead’s eyes ran across the naked young male bodies, yet this time, arousal was not his motivation.

If the whining little princess was here, then he can continue to be intimidated by the overwhelming presence of this Turk.

Reno’s eyes continued to explore his surrounds, catching exciting glimpses between clearings amongst the thick steam.

Yes.

Some habits die hard.

The redhead sunk his teeth into the corner of his lip as he internally wolf whistled at a particular blonde that caught his eye.

Yes this boy was especially intriguing.

Was it him?

Perhaps…

One way to find out, he might as well put his Turk tailing skills to good use.

Yes.

Tailing definitely sounded better than stalking.

Reno continued to stare, perhaps if he did so long enough, the blonde might just become aware of his presence enough to pay him some attention. 

Reno ran his eyes over the young cadet’s bare form as droplets ran down the globes of his ass. The redhead could hardly ignore the tightening in his trousers as he wondered if his latest eye candy was as innocent as he appeared.

A devious smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Yes.

This would be very interesting indeed.

Reno gasped, feeling a sudden sharp pain drive in to his shoulder from behind, before yanking him less than pleasantly out of the shower room.

“Didn’t you hear a thing Tseng said?!” Zack’s jaw dropped open, the disbelief was rife in his eyes. How could Reno possibly be here again??

Unbelievable.

Zack shook his head, as though suddenly incapable of summoning the right words to reflect the gravity of this situation.

“Chill yo! You know I can’t help it.” Reno couldn’t resist the smirk as it commandeered his lips.

“Yes you can! You need to learn to keep it in your pants!” Zack continued, shaking his head as he rubbed his temples in frustration.

Reno smirked before inching closer to the SOLDIER, his eyelids growing heavy as he traced his fingers over his shirt button before playfully undoing it.

“And what brings you here? Not the same reason as me I hope.” Reno smirked, he couldn’t resist, even though he knew he was ultimately digging a hole for himself.

“To protect everyone.” Zack crossed his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows at the man before him, as though preparing himself for whatever bullshit was about to leave the Turk’s lips.

“From what?” Reno smirked, seeming to already know the answer.

“You.” Zack stated, intended his words to retain their serious tone, however Reno’s seductive toying appeared to be having an effect on him.

“Is that right?” Reno winked, seeming almost proud of the fact his sex appeal was so intimidating.

He pressed his body closer against the dark haired SOLDIER, until he was almost draping off of the man’s strong muscles. He leaned forward, not giving the man any room as he encaptured the man’s lips.

Zack offered up no resistance as he grabbed the Turk’s shoulder’s before thrusting him against a wall damp with condensation. Yet Reno didn’t seem to care as he hooked his leg around Zack’s waist, making every effort to encourage the SOLDIER before him.

“Who’s the blonde?” Reno winked, trying his luck again at getting answer's from the Soldier. He brushed his wet lips against the dark haired fighter’s ear. 

“Oh no.” Zack pulled away from the redhead, shaking his head as though he had just bore witness to something truly unbelievable.

“Don’t you even think about it!” The dark haired man growled, his voice coming off louder than he had anticipated. Reno almost winced as Zack’s voice summoned the attention of the nearest men.

“Touchy! Touchy!” Reno raised his hands defensively, choosing to ignore the stares of those around him. This was the first time he had heard the First Class SOLDIER so serious about anything.

Zack stared daggers at the redhead, as though the Turk before him had deprived him of his favourite toy and was now dangling it tauntingly in front of him.

“Wow! Chill yo!” Reno stepped back, suddenly a bit scared, though he would never admit it.

“He is off limits and you better believe it.” Zack prodded his index finger deep into the redheads chest before turning on his heel and waltzing from the room.

Now Reno simply had to help himself.

 

~*~*~

 

Cloud trailed behind a gang of his class mates, a part of him desperately wanting to be a part of their click, yet he was well aware this would never be destined to occur. He would simply have to trail behind them like a pathetic loser until this was all over.

Though he couldn’t complain, at least he had Zack for company.

He shook his thoughts from his mind as he attempted to clear his head.

He gasped as he suddenly realised he had left his issue bag behind in the shower locker room.

Damnit.

Cloud turned on his heel, knowing he would now be late to this evening's tactics class. He had no choice though, he couldn’t afford to loose another set of his issue kit.

As he spun around, something caught his eye.

Was that a flurry of red?

Cloud tilted his head slightly, why did it seem familiar?

Where had he seen it before?

The blonde narrowed his eyes as he shuffled through his memories in a vain attempt to recall the information he was after. He was tempted to pursue the figure that appeared to be shadowing either him, or the gang he was himself trailing.

Perhaps it was still waiting behind the corner?

Cloud took an instinctive step forward before diving towards the corner.

His fingers grasped the edge of the wall, as he used it to propel himself around.

He was brought face to face with a redheaded Turk.

That’s when it dawned on him.

Cloud’s eyes widened as images of the man leaning against the shower block wall flurried into his mind.

Oh no, this was him. The one the other cadets had all joked about.

Now he was after him?

What had he been thinking?

He should have just ignored his new shadow and carried on.

“Hey.” Reno nodded his greeting to the boy, as if nothing were a miss.

“Hey.” Cloud repeated the Turk’s words, seemingly unsure of what else to say as he watched Reno rest his elbow against the nearby wall. His eyes not making any effort to disguise the lust as it pooled within them.

He wanted him, there was certainly no denying that.

“You’re a pretty good fighter yo.” Reno winked at his latest potential conquest, an act that only emphasized those hungry emerald eyes.

“Thanks.” Cloud hesitated, as though unsure of what else to say.

Had the man been watching him train as well?

A shudder seized control of the blondes body as he tried his best to suppress it.

“Maybe you could show me your moves later.” Reno grinned, etching closer to the blonde until his lips were mere inches from his targets stoic features.

“Maybe, I-I gotta go.” Cloud stuttered as he turned to leave, almost afraid to be caught talking to the Turk that everyone mocked behind his back. Though, the man either wasn’t aware, or just plain didn’t care. Cloud suspected it was the later as he prepared to round the same corner he turned only moments earlier.

“I’ll take that as a yes yo.” Reno smirked, not bothering to disguise his confidence as he watched the blonde instinctively turn back to face him. Traces of trepidation were etched into his features as he quickly turned back towards his direction of travel.

The redhead turned on his heel before making his way back towards his apartment.

He needed to desperately give himself some attention.

He sighed, yet the smile remained on his lips as he tossed his weapon over his shoulder.

 

Chapter 4

Reno made no attempt to stop himself as he allowed his body to fall against his soft mattress.

His thoughts were over run by a certain blonde cadet.

A fact that prompted his fingers to begin advancing down his abdomen before venturing under his trousers.

It was times such as these that he was glad to have an apartment to himself. His body shuddered with anticipation as he used his other hand to release his belt buckle. The redhead closed his eyes as he wrapped his fingers around his member, not stalling as he drew his grasp up before thrusting it down. He repeated the process without hesitation, drawing a great deal more satisfaction from every stroke.

Reno’s eyes rolled back in his head as waves over pleasure seized control of his body, each one rolling into the next before finally subduing.

 

~*~*~

 

“Zack?” Cloud murmured softly, clearly doubting whether he should indeed ask the question lingering at the tip of his tongue, or whether just to relegate it to his growing pile of unknowns.

“What is it Spikey?” The raven haired SOLDIER grinned, if for no other reason than to encourage his young friend, before turning toward a kitchen cupboard under the sink. He had invited the blonde over for dinner yet hadn’t actually bothered to prepare anything. Though, Cloud didn’t seem too concerned as Zack rummaged through the cupboard attempting to salvage his most prized frying pan.

“Do you know a red haired Turk?” Cloud spoke the words barely above a whisper, he wasn’t entirely sure whether his best friend has actually heard him.

Zack instantly froze, the sound of clunking pots was now a distance echo.

Cloud flinched, had his words annoyed the first class SOLDIER? The blonde instinctively stepped back suddenly wishing he hadn’t broached the subject with the man.

“Why?” Zack began, his voice absent its playful demeanor, instead replaced with a low, almost threatening growl. The SOLDIER backed out of the cupboard, deciding to give up on the pursuit of his pot before turning to face his young friend, who was far too innocent for his own good.

“I-I just wondered.” Cloud lied, averting his gaze as Zack’s expression started to put the pressure on him. He knew the SOLDIER wasn’t going to let this one go so easily as he veered closer to the cadet.

“Cloud.” Zack sighed, though his voice was still regimentally stern as the man’s eyes bore holes into him.

“He told me I was a good fighter.” Cloud almost whimpered, as if his words would justify whatever reason Zack had against the Turk.

Zack rolled his eyes before covering them with the palm of his hand.

“Of course he did.” The SOLDIER shook his head, mentally cursing Reno’s name. The man was something else. He would, of course, say anything to get into Cloud's pants.

Yes.

Expect the worst and then Reno would top even that.

“What’s wrong?” Genuine concern pooled in Cloud’s eyes as he stepped toward his friend.

“Never you mind Cloud. Just stay away from him, he’s nothing but mischief.” Zack’s eyes bore holes into the blonde before the familiar radiant smile returned to his lips.

Cloud made no attempt to disguise his confusion before deciding that it was best just to allow the subject to drop.

“So, what’s for dinner?”

 

~*~*~

 

“Hey, what can I do for you?” Reno leaned back in his seat, not bothering to lower his overly sexualised tone as he drew his phone closer to his lips.

Tseng ceased his briefing as the attention of every Turk in the conference room turned to face the redhead, and he appeared to be loving every second of it.

Tseng gritted his teeth, as a part of him attempted to figure out who exactly was on the other end of the phone, though he didn’t know why he cared.

“Aww is that right? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Reno chuckled as he blatantly teased what Tseng presumed to be a man at the other end.

“Reno!” Tseng growled, instantly summoning the attention of all those in the room.

“I gotta go but I’ll come see you later for a bit of that thing you love.” Reno smirked as he made fake kissing noises into the device.

Tseng shook his head.

Unbelievable.

He had no doubt Reno would keep this timing, about the only time he was reliable. The promise of sex seemed to outweigh all else.

At times he swore the sole reason for the man’s existence was to agitate him.

Tseng gritted his teeth, as though unsure where to pick up from as his eyes lingered on the redhead. Who would even have the audacity to speak to someone in such a way? Especially in the middle of a meeting. If Tseng were alone, he would have facepalmed himself.

He narrowed his eyes, as though running his mind through all potential possible partners.

Though one aspect puzzled him more than the others, if Reno had a significant other, then why was he spending his free time perving on young cadets? Perhaps he should put his Turk skills to the test, only this time it would be to stalk one of his own.

 

~*~*~

 

Sephiroth slid his personal mobile phone back into his pocket.

After all he couldn’t exactly use the work phone for calls like that.

He had never paid Reno that much attention before yet now he only wanted more of the redheaded beauty.

Why did the Turk have to go and awaken these desires in him? Zack always told him he was missing out, and up until recently, he truly didn’t believe he had been.

Despite the fact Reno’s idiosyncrasies agitated him no end, he could still tolerate his company, which was more than he could say of just about everyone else.

Though, Zack he could tolerate also, yet the nature of their relationship was such that he couldn’t see it ever being like how it is with Reno.

Although…

Damn it.

Sephiroth sighed, shaking his head as images of Zack on his knees in place of Reno filled his head.

Now that Sephiroth had though about it, he simply had to have it.

The general’s eyes swept across the scope of his office. He knew Zack wasn’t there, yet he still looked anyway.

Where would he be? Sephiroth glanced down at his watch.

12:00.     

In other words, lunch time.

A smirk engraved itself upon the general’s lips as he stood from behind his desk.

He hardly had to think about where the dark haired SOLDIER would be as he waltzed toward the cadets cafeteria.

 

~*~*~

 

The general took one look at the immense queue of young cadets as they waited patiently for their food.

Sephiroth couldn’t ignore the vast sets of eyes upon him as he searched the assortment of both crammed and empty tables.

It didn’t take the general’s keen eye long to locate the only other SOLDIER in the room. He was intrigued to find the man sitting rather close to a particular blonde cadet.

How fascinating.

He turned back toward the queue, only to find it had magically disappeared.

Funny that.

Sephiroth’s lips curved ever so slightly into a smirk, though to the average untrained eye his expression hadn’t changed at all.

There were times he couldn’t deny his position held great benefits as he glided straight for the counter.

“Wh-what would you like sir?” The cadet on kitchen duty stammered as his eyes darted to the bench before him.

He was terrified, there was no denying that as Sephiroth’s eyes bore down on him.

Delight danced across the General's eyes, it had been a while since he had been able to have this much fun.

It was an act that would scream out to any half way decent psychiatrist, that Sephiroth was far in need of a hobby outside of tormenting young, hopeful cadets.

“A steak.” The general stated flatly, as though the cadet should have been able to read his mind.

“Hey Seph!” Zack slapped his arms across the man’s shoulder’s.

Sephiroth’s eyebrow twitched in irritation as the dark haired man’s action undermined his authoritative pose.

The cadet before him suddenly seemed a bit more at ease.

He couldn’t allow that.

He would punish Zack for this later.

Thoughts of whips, chains and binding the dark haired man so tightly, that he was entirely at his mercy had consumed his mind. He would press his lithe body hard against his bedroom wall before spreading his second’s cheeks and sliding his-.

“Where’s your manners?” Zack directed his words towards the silver haired fighting maniac as his eyes lingered upon the mortified expression plastered all over the cadet’s face, combined with the impatient stance of everyone’s favourite general.

A dangerous combination.

Zack’s eyes widened for a moment before calling upon his usual cheerful expression.

“Pleeeease." Zack stated, as though he were Sephiroth's mother attempting to teach him manners.

The General remained stoic.

"Let’s grab a seat shall we? I’m sure this young lad will deliver you your lunch.” Zack winked, almost desperately at the cadet as he guided the general away from the food counter.

The cadet nodded furiously, having no intention of disobeying this order.  

Chapter 5

Cloud's eyes couldn't possibly go any more saucer shaped, watching in awe as a certain silver haired general took the seat across from. The young cadet gasped, an action that inadvertently forced his mouthful of food to get sucked into his windpipe.

Cloud's body began to instinctively respond to the deprivation of oxygen by way of convulsive coughing. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as embarrassment flushed his body. 

How could this be happening to him? 

Why now?! 

Cloud had never wished so much in his life that death would claim him in this horrendously mortifying moment.

"Wow! You alright there Spikey?!" Zack chuckled at a volume that cloud was sure attracted the eyes of everyone in the cafeteria.

Thanks Zack.

Maybe he shouldn’t be so hard on his best friend? After all, it was more likely his coughing that was gaining him all this unwanted attention.

That, or Sephiroth's presence.

The blonde wondered why his best friend had even bothered asking if he was alright as he still gasped desperately for air.

Why wasn't he helping him?

He had never been so mortified in his entire life.

How could this happen to him right in front of the one man he admired above all else?

This was his one chance to make a good first impression.

Damn it.

Cloud was summoned from his torturous thoughts as a solid whack struck his back. 

Cloud gasped, a mixture of trying to normalize his breathing and shock setting in.

Had Sephiroth just touched him?

He hadn't even seen the man rise from his seat before gracefully gliding around the table.

Cloud had never imagined ever being near the god of a fighter, let alone getting to experience physical contact with him.

The inklings of a smirk drew faintly on the general's lips as he gazed down at the young cadet. Cloud’s body shuddered at the sudden rush of oxygen as it flooded his system.

It took all of Cloud's strength to summon words but his lips weren't responding. 

"Thanks Seph!" Zack's traditionally bubbly tone dissolved the tension gathered by Cloud's inability to respond.

"We wouldn't want Spikey here to die before he's had a chance to become a SOLDIER, now would we?" Zack chuckled, seemingly blissfully unaware of actually how close his friend was to imminent death.

Cloud couldn't ignore the snicker's and whispers from the other cadets, they were no doubt in response to Zack's words.

He resented how everyone wondered why he was there, that no one aside from Zack believed he could make the cut.

Surely Zack must have heard the snickers too?

His hearing was far superior, but if Zack had heard them, then Sephiroth would have too.

Damn it.

"You want to be in SOLDIER?" Sephiroth offered the boy a smirk, though this one lacked the malice he had witnessed on the faces of his fellow cadets.

"Yeah, he's a damn good fighter too!" Zack interrupted as the redheaded Turk's words rang through Cloud's head. At least that was now two people who thought he stood a fighting chance.

"Fascinating." Sephiroth's head ever so slightly nodded as his eyes ran over the blonde's small frame.

But the general wasn't lying, he truly was finding the young cadet to his taste. He had, after all come here for Zack, but perhaps he might just change his mind.  

"Yeah, I've been showing him a few moves." Zack's enthusiastic tone only made Cloud shy away even more, as he watched the first class raise his fork to his lips before shoving a huge chunk of meat into his mouth.

"Have you now?" Sephiroth leaned over, the tips of his silver hair dangling over the cadets shoulder. 

Cloud couldn't resist the shudder as it seized his body before tearing it's way through his spine.

How he wanted to touch that perfection.

The tall man’s bare chest, barred only by straps of leather, seemed only to make him want to slide his fingers down before venturing under his distinctive belt buckle. 

Cloud gasped, suddenly becoming dangerously aware of his less than innocent thoughts.

"Perhaps I could show you a thing or two." It was a statement not a suggestion.

Of course the General could show him more than a thing or two.

He could completely dominate him if he so wanted.

Cloud's cheeks began to infuse with red once more as Sephiroth leaned in closer still.

The part that flustered him the most is that he would so willingly let him do anything too. 

Cloud once more attempted to push words through his lips, yet they weren't having a bar of it as he felt the General's breath dance so fleetingly across his cheek.

Zack couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as he watched this unexpected interaction between his boss and best friend.

Was Sephiroth flirting with Cloud?

No way...

Surely not?

It was bad enough having to fend off Reno but the General? He hadn't seen that one coming.

"Hey look Seph! Your food's here!" Zack spat out in an effort to summon the man's attention.

"Thank you Zack." The silver haired man acknowledged his second's words, yet refused to take his eyes off of the blonde. It seemed the only thing that would satisfy the General's appetite was the cadet right before him.

This was going nowhere fast.

"Cloud don't you have a materia theory class to get to?" Zack decided to change his strategy as he directed his words towards the mesmerized blonde.

...

...

Nothing. 

Damnit.

"Hey if your not going to eat your lunch, then I will." Zack plastered the cheesiest grin he could contort his lips into.

"You will do no such thing Zackary." Sephiroth interjected as though already anticipating his Second’s words.

Cloud quivered at the authority seeping through the General's tone.

He attempted to resist the enticing pull of blood to his groin yet it seemed easier just to give in.

"You see Cloud, Zack hasn't always been very good at obeying my commands." Sephiroth smirked as his eyes turned to Zack, as though provoking the man.

"Yet I suspect you will do a better job of obeying me?" The general whispered into Cloud's ear, having the sense to whisper that last bit so as the silent cafetaria wouldn't be privy to their now private conversation.

Now that Cloud thought about it he hadn't noticed a single sound since Sephiroth had approached his table. Even the kitchen staff seemed quiet, as though they were all gawking at their unexpected but far from unwelcome visitor. 

Cloud's throat felt painfully tight as he didn’t dare turn around to witness hordes of eyes upon him. He nodded before averting his gaze to Sephiroth's untouched lunch as it waited in fear of the man's attention.

So Zack wasn't just making that up, his lunch truly had arrived.

"Perhaps you could show me later." The general winked, though Cloud missed it as his eyes focused intently upon the perfectly prepared meat before him, as though doing so would force his embarrassment into remission.

"Seph!" Zack blurted out, no longer able to sit back and watch the show carrying on before him.

"I want to see you at the training hall at nine this evening." Sephiroth smirked, knowing full well the blonde would not refuse him as he glided back around the table to his food.

       

~*~*~

 

Perhaps he was becoming too much of a predator?

Yet at the same time, he felt as though he weren't predator enough.

Reno's hungry eyes wandered vicariously over the blonde's slender form, yet no matter how much freedom he gave his eyes, his appetite remained far from satisfied. 

He stood mesmerized as he watched Cloud deliver blow after countless blow to an invisible enemy. The training hall was otherwise devoid of human life, though the SOLDIER in the making remained unaware of the Turk lurking around the corner.

Just simply perving was no longer enough, he would have to talk to the young blonde, properly.

Cloud gripped his sword tighter in his grasp, much to his relief it was growing lighter each day. He cringed as memories of his first few days of sword fighting tainted his mind. He had anticipated the usual taunts from his peers but still nothing compared to those he actually received. 

He had to push on regardless of what other people thought or assumed about him. Especially now that the great General Sephiroth seemed to have taken an interest in him. He couldn't allow himself to fail in front of the man he had admired for far too long. Though he knew failure was inevitable.

The great General Sephiroth was going to kick his ass and he knew it.

The reminder of his fate seemed only to make him push on harder as he swung his sword with great gusto. He had less than two more hours until he would face off with the strongest fighter this world had ever seen. A life time of preparation wouldn't be enough, let alone an hour and a half. The cadet's heart pounded in his chest as he realised the best he could hope for was to give Sephiroth a solid fight before willingly accepting his fate.

No, he couldn't let the facts deter him. His life, his experiences, they were no one else’s business except his and those he chose to share them with. A warmth radiated from his heart as his thoughts turned to Zack. His one and only friend here. Then again, Zack had the outgoing personality that allowed him to make friends with anyone and everyone.

Of course Cloud was envious of his friend's positive disposition. The blonde raised his sword into the air before slamming it through the air once more. He wasted no time repeating the motion again and again.   

"You know, your pretty cute when your flustered." A voice greeted him from behind, though it was far from mysterious. Cloud hesitated, was it safe to turn around or should he just ignore the redheaded Turk that Zack had warned him not to talk to?

"Relax yo!" the voice grew louder, which meant the man was closer, yet Cloud hadn't heard his footsteps.

"You're pretty tense, I can tell that from here."  Reno smirked, resisting the temptation to wink at the blonde. Though, how long he would be able to hold back would be anyone's guess.

The Turk stepped forward, fighting against himself not to pounce on the blonde as he watched the heat rise in his cheeks. Cloud froze, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle, unable to move, let alone run.

"You're holding your sword wrong." Reno resisted the urge to chuckle at his own words as he almost cautiously approached the blonde.

"What do you mean?" Cloud raised an eyebrow, suddenly more agitated than afraid of the redhead's presence.

"Your grip loosens too much when you actually go to strike. You got good control until then, but then when you really need it, you hold back yo." Reno offered the blonde his seemingly sound advice, using his words to gain proximity to the boy.

Cloud winced, wondering just how long the Turk had actually been observing him for.

"How do you know that? Turks don’t fight with swords."

"No. But it might interest you to know I once tried out for SOLDIER." Reno offered the blonde some information he would rather people didn't know, yet he could see that using it could win him favor with the blonde.

"Here, let me show you." The Turk grinned before assuming a stance behind the boy, sensing him instantly tighten up once more.

"Relax." Reno whispered, deliberately ensuring his breath danced down the blonde's neck. 

This boy was going to take some work.

"W-what are you doing?" Cloud whimpered as Reno sunk his fingers into his slender hips.

"Helpin' ya out yo." Reno winked, though fully aware the blonde would resist, but that was all part of the fun.

"Zack told me to stay away from you."

"Ah, is that so?" Reno chuckled, seemingly more amused by Cloud's words than offended.

"I wonder why that might be." The Turk whispered, his breath hot against the blonde's ear as his lips gently brushed over Cloud's innocent flesh. Reno knew exactly why, and he was pretty sure Cloud did also.

"I-I gotta go." Cloud stumbled with his words, his body soon following in their footsteps as he felt his body lurch forward. His eyes widened in panic as the ground grew dangerously close, yet he felt powerless to stop it. He closed his eyes as he braced himself for the guaranteed impact.

Great. 

And that made twice today that he had utterly humiliated himself. Though it wasn't nearly as bad in front of Reno as it was with Sephiroth. 

Reno ran his eyes over the vulnerable cadet as he lay clearly embarrassed on the floor.

"Hey are you okay yo?" Reno knelt down next to the blonde before seizing the opportunity to toss his leg over the cadet’s face down form and lean in closer.

"I'm fine." Cloud stated bluntly but his eyes refused to meet those of the man on top of him. He was obviously anything but fine as he attempted in vain to roll out from under the Turk's hold.

"Ya sure don't like fine yo." Reno offered, his eyes suddenly taking on a surprisingly sincere disposition. 

"Perhaps I can make it better." The Turk continued, not relenting from his proximity to the blonde.

Cloud eyes darted to the door, as though hoping someone would suddenly appear through it. Yet there was another emotion swimming around in those young, naive orbs. Was that... Curiosity perhaps?

Yes...

This was indeed a quality the red haired man could work with.

Reno brushed his lips against Cloud's cheek, moving deliberately slowly as he trailed them across the blonde's soft skin. He refused to give up until he had at least tasted the boy under him. 

"W-what are you doing?" Cloud whimpered, his words etched with hesitation, as though the question left his lips out of expectation rather than truly desiring a response.

"I know what you want yo." Reno's husky voice trailed into the blonde's ear as he slid a hand down the cadet's uniform. He refused to stop until he reached his target, the bulge between Cloud's legs.

Yes.

This was it.

Reno's breathing hitched as he gave the blonde a squeeze. A smile commandeered his lips as a moan escaped Cloud's lips. The Turk took that as his que as he wasted no time undoing the cadets belt with one hand. Sometimes he felt as though it was his most valuable skill as he snaked his hand into the blondes trousers.

The redhead slid down the blonde's body as he withdrew Cloud's member before drawing it to his lips. He drew circles with his tongue around the tip before sliding it through his lips. Reno took the man so far down his throat yet it still wasn't enough.

He had to have more, but how far would the blonde allow him to go?

Perhaps it was time to test the waters.

Zack was gonna kill him. 

Chapter 6

Reno gently caressed Cloud's testicles before hungrily sliding his finger behind them. Choosing instead to direct pressure to the young man's perineum. Cloud writhed in pleasure, seeming to forget himself as he ground himself against Reno's touch. 

The playful Turk twirled Cloud's cock around in his mouth with his tongue before driving it deep down his throat once more.

It was too much. Cloud slid his hands through Reno's red locks, holding the man firmly in place, as though afraid the warmth would be taken away from his groin. Reno didn't seem bothered, rather he seemed delighted as he put further energy into his suction prowess.

It was too much as Cloud swung his head back in ecstasy. Waves of pleasure coursed through his body as desperate moans escaped his lips.

Reno's lips curled into a smile around Cloud's cock as the blonde released his load down the redhead's throat. The young cadet's body soon slackened as he slumped exhausted against the wooden floor.

"Harassing cadets again are we Reno?"

Cloud gasped at the familiar silky voice as footsteps glided purposefully across the training hall. 

Again? How many times had Reno done this? Cloud's eyes widened at the prospect. Zack did seem all too familiar with the Turks history and Cloud couldn't say he didn't warn him...

Cloud knew the man was headed towards them yet he seemed incapable of moving.

"Hey but this one's real cute yo." Reno shrugged as he let Cloud's cock fall from his lips. There was no shame in either Reno's words or actions as he winked at the blonde before rising to his feet.

"I see some things never change." Sephiroth sighed as he rubbed his temple in orchestrated frustration. 

Cloud froze in shock, how could he allow himself to be caught by the great General Sephiroth in such a compromising position?

Damn you Reno.

Yet the General didn't seem surprised at all, he almost seemed to expect such behaviour from the Turk that had just had his lips around his cock.

"I have training with this cadet now." Sephiroth stated matter of factly as he glided past the redheaded Turk.

Cloud tried desperately to stuff his genitals back his pants as he rolled away from the General.

"Training huh?" Reno smirked, the glint in his eyes suggested he knew not much 'training' would be going on.

"Indeed." Sephiroth turned on his heel as he gazed down at the blonde attempting to gather his flustered self from the floor.

"So in other words fuck off right?" Reno chuckled, not appearing to be offended in the slightest as his eyes met those of Sephiroth. Cloud watched as the two exchanged what seemed like an unspoken understanding between them.

"Well, you know where to come if you don't get what you want yo." Reno winked as he slid deliberately close to the General before making for the exit. 

"Y-you came early." Cloud stuttered, not meaning for the words to leave his lips.

"I see you have too." Sephiroth smirked as he ran his eyes down the blondes spent body.

Reno's chuckle could be heard echoing through the training hall as he waltzed through the exit.

"Are you ready?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as he reached over his shoulder before grasping masamune. 

No! No he certainly wasn't ready! But there was no keeping this man waiting.

Cloud gathered all his strength before jumping to his feet. 

Sephiroth couldn't deny the boy had determination. It was just as well he had caught him before Reno had spoilt him.

Yes, Cloud was his to ruin.

Cloud felt a shiver run through his spine as his eyes locked with the General. What was the man thinking about? 

Cloud seemed distracted, an opportunity Sephiroth seized all too willingly, knocking the blonde to the ground with ease. He wasted no time kneeling down over the blonde, pinning him to the floor.

"You know, if I was your enemy-" Sephiroth began before pausing. His eyes ran over the milky white flesh, soft blonde chocobo locks, afraid yet alluring eyes. 

"You would kill me." Cloud whispered his assumed ending to the General's statement.

"Not exactly." The General leaned closer to the blonde, his long silver hair draping against the wooden floor as his face rested mere inches away from Cloud's.

"Then what would you do? Torture me?" Cloud visibly grimaced at the thought.

"No."

"Then what?"

"This." Sephiroth took a moment to enjoy the curiosity folding into confusion that lurked within Cloud's eyes. The confusion grew until the General could no longer witness it as his lips collided with the blonde.

Cloud froze.

He truly hadn't anticipated this.

Is that what Reno meant when he said if the General didn't get what he wanted? Did they all see this attraction except him?

Oh Gaia he felt like such an idiot.

But why would the General find him attractive?

The blonde was summoned from his musings as a tongue violated his mouth.

it didn't matter, he wasn't about to refuse the General.

Cloud spread his legs, though he didn't seem to be consciously aware of his body's reaction.

"Very good." Sephiroth smirked as he reached for Cloud's innocent hand before sliding it against his chest. Cloud shuddered as his hand disappeared below the General's leather belt buckle.

Cloud felt faint as a rush of blood surged solely for his groin.

"You like this I see." Sephiroth chuckled slightly as he felt the blonde slide his fingers around his swollen erection.   

"Yeah." Cloud whispered, seemingly losing the ability to think or speak coherent, perhaps it was the lack of blood in his brain. He slid down the General's body with great purpose until his lips fell mere inches from the man's length.

Cloud felt his heart race. He never thought he would ever be on his knees before the Great General Sephiroth, though he wasn't about to complain as he drew his lips closer. He had never performed oral before and the only limited experience he had was a few moments before with Reno. 

What if Sephiroth thought he sucked at this? Well, so to speak.

It didn't matter now, he was in too deep to back out, even if he wanted to, which he didn't. Maybe he should just repeat what Reno had performed on him? At this point he had nothing else to work with as trailed his tongue over the man's tip before delving into the slit. 

Sephiroth certainly didn't have to coax the young cadet as he took him completely within his mouth.

 

~*~*~

 

"Hey Spikey!"

Cloud couldn’t ignore the summoning of his notorious nickname, and one everyone had grown far too familiar with. He turned in the direction of the voice only to find the owner now standing next to him in the crowded corridor.

"Hey Zack."

"How'd your training go?" Zack seemed a bit flustered as he grasped the young cadets shoulders a little too tightly. His eyes ran over the young cadet's body, it was as though he were inspecting for wounds, or perhaps something else.

"Zack that hurts." Cloud grimaced before catching himself. He couldn't let himself appear frail in front the second strongest SOLDIER. Though he doubted Zack would ever hold anything like that against him.

"Sephiroth went a bit hard on you did he?"

"You could say that yo." Reno winked, inviting himself into the two's private conversation as he strutted down the crowded corridor. He offered the pair an all too knowing smile as he didn't bother avoiding the entourage of humans attempting to get to their destinations on time, choosing instead to make them move out of his way.

"What do you mean by that?" Zacks eyes narrowed suspiciously on the redheaded Turk, seemingly deciding that whatever had occurred was anyone's fault but Cloud's.

"Hey don't look at me yo!" Reno raised his arms defensively in the air, suddenly deciding he no longer wanted to be part of this conversation, yet finding it too entertaining to leave.

Zack's eyes lingered on the tenacious redhead, as though trying to decide if it were safe to believe his words. If past experience was anything to go by then the answer to the question was a definite no. 

Zack sighed before rubbing his temple in what appeared to be frustration. Cloud looked up at the tall, raven haired SOLDIER as though trying to find the right words, yet none seemed to exist. He wasn't used to seeing his best friend like this. He was normally so calm yet enthusiastic. The worries of life never seeming to touch him in the slightest. Yet this, this seemed to bother him profusely.

"And how is that you know about Cloud's training with Sephiroth?" Zack returned his suspicious gaze to the Turk. His eye brow raised in anticipation yet already knowing the answer.

Cloud winced, praying Reno would mention nothing of last nights activities, especially after Zack implicitly told him not to go near Reno. 

"I just stumbled across them yo."

"Stumbled across them?" Zack nodded his head, though more out of expecting these exact words to fall from Reno's lips than genuinely believing the Turk.

"Sure did yo." Reno smirked before winking at the blonde cadet who stood cowering next to Zack.

"You better get to class Cloud." Zack ordered, his voice low as he refused to take his eyes off of Reno.

Cloud pried his lips apart to argue the point, but the opportunity escaped him as Zack stepped away from him, grasping Reno's wrist before dragging him through the crowd of people.

Cloud's heart pounded, what would Reno reveal now that he and Zack were alone? Would Zack intimidate him into revealing what happened on the training room hall? He felt the nausea rise in his stomach as he watched Reno and Zack fade before finally disappearing through the crowd of people. He shook his concerns his mind, he couldn't worry about that now, at least Reno didn't seem the type to ever be intimidated by anything or anyone.

"I do hope the only thing that touched Cloud during training was Sephiroth’s sword."

"I can vouch for that yo!" Reno giggled, incapable of controlling himself as Zack screwed up his face in confusion. What was the redhead getting at? The SOLDIER retraced his words before realising what he had inadvertently said.

Damn filthy minded Turk.

"Wait what? No!" Zack's eyes widened in shock. He didn't believe Sephiroth had it in him.

Even though Cloud could no longer see the two, he could definitely hear them, or rather Zacks exclamation of shock. Damnit what had Reno said?

 

~*~*~

 

"So..." Zack began as he paced back and forth in front of Sephiroth’s desk. 

"What is it Zackary?" The General sighed, not bothering to look up from the looming pile of paperwork that had yet to be signed.

"Your training with Cloud, how'd that go?" Zack started daggers at the General, knowing it was safe to do so as the man wouldn't notice beyond the paperwork, though he did well to keep the spite from his voice.

"We made a lot of headway."

"Oh, I see, is that right?" Zack nodded as though assimilating the man's words.

"Yes."

"So... You had fun then?"

"What does 'fun' have to do with it Zackary?" Sephiroth finally looked up from the enormous pile of paperwork, only narrowly missing Zack's dagger expression.

"Nothing I guess."

"Zackary, if your not doing anything can you please look over these files for me."

"But I am busy."

"No you're not."

Zack deliberately exaggerated his sigh as he paced towards the large wooden desk that took up far more than its fair share of the office. 

The second collected the files within his grasp, doing well not to drop them as he traipsed towards his desk, which only paled in comparison to the General's.

Zack sat down at his desk a huff leaving his lips as he stared vacantly at the unopened files.

"What's wrong Zack?" Sephiroth began, though he didn't look up at his second.

"Nothing." The raven haired SOLDIER hadn't meant for his tone to come across so spoilt childish, yet part of him didn't regret it.

Several moments of silence passed 

"So… Seph… Have you seen Reno lately?"

"What does Reno have to do with anything?"

"Like last night perhaps?"

Sephiroth sighed, this time dropping his pen to give Zack his fullest attention.

"Zack, is something the matter?" The General stood from his desk before gliding ever so gracefully over to the edge of his second’s desk.

Zack gazed up at the man, had he always been that tall? Maybe it just seemed that way because he was sitting down? Yes that had to be it.

"No." Zack crossed his arms over his chest yet his tone still came out sheepish at best.

"Then why have you been giving me the evil eye all morning?"

"You noticed?" Zack gasped, unable to disguise the surprise from his voice.

"Of course I noticed."

Zack opened his mouth to speak yet no words would visit his lips. There had to be a first for everything he guessed.

"Now out with it."

"Did your sword touch Cloud?"

"What? Of course. We were training Zack."

"No that sword. Your other sword."

"Is that really what’s bothering you Zackary?"

"Reno said it did."

"Reno huh? And you believe everything that comes out of his lips?" Sephiroth smirked, yet he wasn't especially surprised, perhaps it was time he punished this misbehaving Turk once and for all.

"Well... Not everything." 

"I didn't fuck him if that's what you mean Zack." Sephiroth sighed before turning for his own desk.

"Oh!" Zack exclaimed, the relief was far too obvious in his voice.

“Though you should keep a closer eye on that Turk.”

“Wait what?”

Chapter 7

"Zackary."

"Hmm?" Zack hummed, the verbal gesture was barely audible as he sat behind his desk attempting to put together the last installment of his Cactuar Figurine.

"Don't hmm me." Sephiroth hissed, though he sounded far from genuinely pissed off.

"Maybe I should have made a Chocobo one?" Zack scratched his head, seeming not to have heard the General as he attempted shove two pieces together that clearly didn't belong with each other.

"Zack! How hard is it to put together a cactus?!" Sephiroth growled, perhaps a little bit louder than he had intended.

The second visibly jumped, causing his knee to collide with the underside of the desk. His eyes widened as he watched his figurine tumble towards the floor.

"Oh no no no no no!" Zack all but shrieked as he rushed to catch it.

"Look what you made me do Seph." Zack whined as he collected the wrecked Cactuar from the floor.

"Your lucky that wasn't your ass." Sephiroth smirked as he attempted to find out if the raven haired man was actually listening now. Yet, perhaps some part of him meant his words. Damnit, now he couldn't stop the flood of images of Zack naked and bent over the desk before him.

"Wait what?" Zack turned to the tall General, his eyes narrowed as he appeared to be retracing the words that just greeted his ears.

"Go and get Reno."

"Why? Is he in trouble again?" Zack's eyes narrowed further still, as though he were suspicious of the General himself also.

"That's not your concern Zackary, now just do as I say."

"But it's late." Zack pointed at the window as though him merely suggesting that it was dark outside wasn't enough.

"This is Midgar Zack, life doesn't just stop because it gets dark."

Zack opened his mouth to whine but quickly realised the General's words held a valid point.

"Now Zack."

"Gotcha."

 Zack had barely left the room as Sephiroth sat down in his seat. The tightness in his groin was driving him over the edge.

 

~*~*~

 

Being summoned by the General himself, yes this was how Reno liked it, being in hot demand. He refused to disguise his delight as he strutted towards the General's office, his EMR tossed calessly over his left shoulder. He smirked as he tossed the door to Seph's office open without hesitation.

He wasted no time as he kicked the door closed behind him. He whisked his jacket off, quickly followed by his shirt and trousers. By the time he reached the General's desk he was entirely naked, willing and ready.

"You've been a naughty boy Reno." Sephiroth smirked, making no effort to hide the delight in his smile as his eyes ran up and down the redhead's bare flesh.

"You sound surprised yo." The Turk winked as he climbed into the General's lap, grinding his naked body against Sephiroth's tight leather pants.

"I might have to show you some discipline." Sephiroth's eyes lit up as he seized the opportunity to smack the redheads bare behind.

"That's hardly a punishment." Reno smirked playfully at the General, as though daring him to try his worst.

"Spank me harder yo." The Turk taunted, his eyelids growing heavy with arousal as he continued to grind himself against the strong fighter.

"Lets see what your ass says about that when I tear you in half with my dick."

"So it’s going up my ass is it?" Reno always loved a good challenge, especially when it involved exceptionally large penises. His tongue ran hungrily over his lips, not appearing at all intimidated by the General's threat, though the Turk hoped it was more of a promise.

"If you can take it." Sephiroth withdrew the long, thick member from his trousers, gently stroking it as he brought it into view.

“Oh, I can take it, don’t you worry about that yo!”

Reno liked what he saw and he made no effort to disguise that fact.

"Plug me." Reno shuddered, spreading his cheeks with his fingers, as though his words alone weren't enough to entice the General.

Sephiroth carefully studied the sight offered to him, a sight that only proved to inflame his erection further.

Gaia Reno could be such a filthy slut.

"Come on Seph, fuck me already!" Reno all but pleaded as he ground his bare bum against the General's lap before bending over the man's desk. He was more than ready and desperately wanted the General to become blatantly aware of that fact. 

The lights inside were dim, but still on. This could be a problem yet it was also the last thing he cared about as his eyes ran over the naked Turk bent over his desk. If Sephiroth weren't behind him, Reno would be displaying to the world his most intimate opening. Yet it didn't seem to bother the Turk at all, in fact, it seemed to excite him all the more.

"Aren't you gonna get these off yo?" Reno tugged at the man's skin tight leather pants as best he could from his bent over position.

"This is your punishment, not mine."

"This is hardly a punishment." Reno chuckled, his words seemed to have prompted the General to slide open his top desk drawer. The Turk peered over, his curiosity getting the better of him as he tried to see what exactly it was that the general was attempting to retrieve. 

It was hopeless and Reno knew it, oh well, he was guaranteed to soon find out he guessed.

"What's that?"

"Weren't you listening? You've been a naughty boy." Sephiroth winked before allowing his whip to unravel to the floor.

“Oh! Seph! Yes!” Reno cried out in excessive capacity as Sephiroth stood, the whip was his new weapon as pulled it back. He wasted no time unleashing the tip against Reno’s bare backside.

“Oh! Give me more yo!”

Sephiroth raised his eyebrow but quickly disguised his confusion as he pulled the long whip back once more.

“I want your dick yo!” Reno screamed out as he unconsciously spread his legs further apart.

“Is that right?” The General smirked, allowing the whip to fall from his fingers as he grasped Reno’s hips with great force. The redhead was sure to bruise later on, but he didn’t appear bothered. He was more prepared for this than Sephiroth gave him credit for. 

“Yes!” Reno cried out, driving his ass back against the General’s groin.

“Fuck me yo!”

“As you wish.” Sephiroth smirked before pushing himself into the Turk. He was spread wide apart and was loving every second of it.

“Oh yes! Oh! Harder! Deeper! Come on Sephy! I know you can smash me harder than that!”

“Challenge accepted.” The General chuckled, promising to give the Turk hell.

 

~*~*~

 

"Give this to Cloud." Sephiroth smirked before tossing a folded piece of paper at the Turk.

"Why don't you just give it to him yourself?” Reno raised a curious eyebrow as he pulled his trousers on, not bothering to put underwear on first.

"Because it wouldn't look very becoming for me to be seen passing notes back and forth like school girls in high school."

"But it's okay if I get caught doing it yo?" Reno nodded in understanding but was far from agreeing with him.

"Yes." Sephiroth smirked before dragging an enormous stack of paperwork in front of him.

"Well, I'll leave you to it yo!" Reno winced at the sight, the mere thought of paperwork made him feel nauseous as he quickly fled Sephiroth's office.

The Turk didn't get far down the corridor before stalling. He toyed with the note Sephiroth had passed to him. It was for Cloud yet he could barely resist opening it. Surely the General knew he would?

The Turk smirked before prying open the folded paper.

 

 

Cloud,

 

It would be my pleasure to train you in the ways of a First Class SOLDIER.

Meet me in my quarters at 2100 sharp.

Kind Regards,

General Sephiroth

 

 

Reno screwed up his face at the words before him. What? How come Cloud gets a nice comfy bed? All he got was the hard side of the General's desk, followed by the hard side of the General. Reno giggled at the thought, it was supposed to be a punishment after all.

But what’s this 'it would be my pleasure' business? He never used such eloquent words on him! Reno's eyes narrowed as he attempted to figure out why the General never bothered. He didn't have to think very long before coming to obvious conclusion. 

Did Sephiroth not think he was sophisticated? 

Reno stopped dead in his tracks.

Why would he think that? Was it his stroppy uniform? 

Reno tapped the tips of his restless fingers against his chin, as though giving thought to something very important. 

Screw it.

If he was going to find out, he would have to put his Turk skills to the test and make sure he gets into Sephiroth's apartment well before 9. Not to mention that he would also need to find somewhere to hide. Sephiroth's closet would have to do. Reno knew the layout well enough, after all it's not like it's the first time he's snuck into the General's quarters.

 

~*~*~

 

Zack felt compelled to accompany his blonde best friend everywhere, yet he couldn't quite put his finger on why. He did, after all have other things that he should really be doing, not to mention Cloud probably didn't appreciate being babysat all the time, though the young cadet was far too polite to ever say so.

"Is that your phone?" Cloud prompted as a loud ringing noise emanated from Zack's pocket. It was rather intrusive and the cadet couldn't seem to work out how the SOLDIER had not heard it.

"Oh right!" Zack acknowledged before whisking the communication device from his pocket.

"Yo Zack, is that blonde bombshell with you?" Reno's voice assaulted his ears as the SOLDIER instinctively covered the phone with his hand but winced when he realised he had been a moment too late. You could never trust Reno, or his mouth. The SOLDIER quickly turned away from the blonde, not wishing to violate his innocent ears with whatever tripe Reno's lips were about to spout forth.

"What do you want him for?"

"I have a message here from the General for him yo."

"Sure you do." Zack nodded in disbelief, not bothering to disguise the skepticism from his voice.

"Ye have little faith yo."

"You haven't exactly given me much reason to have faith Reno." Zack made a face at his phone before promptly hanging up.

 

~*~*~

 

Damn.

Well at least that phone call confirmed one thing, Cloud was definitely wherever Zack was, he wouldn't be so eager to get off the phone otherwise. Good thing Reno bothered to put a tracker in Zack's phone while he was asleep.

Reno chuckled as he remembered how much he had worn even that hyperactive SOLDIER out with his ass. Damn he could do with a bit of Zack inside him right now. The redhead smirked as he fantasized about the SOLDIER's lips working steadily down his bare back before resting at the cleft of his ass. His thoughts couldn't help but send a shudder of anticipation though his body as he waited for the tracker on his phone to load.

Perfect! Zack was outside the materia classroom.

Reno wasted no time bolting to the location.

As he approached, he crept along the side of the corridor wall, he didn't know why he bothered, he was actually probably attracting more attention to himself than if he had just walked normally. It's not as though the hordes of people didn't help to obscure his presence.

"Just what are you up to Reno?" Tseng raised his eyebrow as he stood behind the redhead peering around a corner, not sounding in the slightest impressed.

"Delivering a message for the General yo." Reno nodded more to himself as though doing so would make himself believe that was the sole reason for his blatant perving.

"Last time I checked, you worked for me." Tseng crossed his arms over his chest, prompting his subordinate to turn and face him.

"Just helping out yo."

"Helping out who? Yourself?" Tseng rolled his eyes, he knew this man far too well, he didn't even know why he bothered asking. 

Reno greeted Tseng's request with a cheeky smile, which proved to be an answer in itself.

"Behave yourself Reno." 

"Oh here he comes yo." The redhead quickly stepped out from the wall before 'accidentally' running into the unsuspecting blonde. 

"Wow! Sorry! Didn't see you there yo!" Reno knelt down before offering the blonde a hand up. Tseng shook his head in disbelief, perhaps his life would be easier if he just chose to ignore his biggest headache inducing subordinate. Reno attracted a lot of trouble, but he was also capable of getting himself out of it. 

Tseng turned away before walking back toward his office, deciding for once in his life to be lazy and let life punish his disobedient Turk instead.    

"Oh perfect! I was hoping to run into you yo!"

"Really? How come?" Cloud squinted, as though trying to decipher the enigma that was the man before him. Should he be afraid?

"I got a message for you from the General."

"W-wait what?"

"He wants to meet you to work on honing your skills." Reno couldn't help but wink as he passed the folded up piece of paper to the blonde. The Turk didn't bother to linger around as he strode off past the blonde. He would after all, being seeing more of him later, a whole lot more.

 

~*~*~

 

Penetration had been easy, though Reno wished he was talking about entering something other than Sephiroth's apartment. He stood crouched down in the man's wardrobe, peering through the slits in the cupboard doors like the creep he had become. He should have brought popcorn for the occasion. 

No, bad idea. 

Far too noisy.

He waited eagerly until he heard a series of footsteps followed by voices as they grew louder.

"Why are we training in your apartment?" Cloud looked up at the graceful General.

Reno rolled his eyes before ever so lightly face palming himself. Was the blonde really so innocent and naive?

Sephiroth wasted no time tossing the cadet against his enormous king sized bed. 

"This training session will primarily focus on developing your stamina." The General smirked as he unclasped masamune before leaning it against a bedside cabinet. His actions were soon followed by various articles of clothing.

Reno winced, Seph must be very eager if he didn't even take the time to put his sword away in it's special place.

Cloud appeared terrified, yet made no effort to refuse the General's advances, but then why would he? He found himself instead, working at getting his own clothes off, yet no amount of movement seemed to get the job done fast enough.

This was getting interesting, very interesting.

Sephiroth leaned over the blonde, his bare chest pressing hard against Cloud's as his lips fought to secure his.

Reno's jaw fell open, it’s not as though he hadn’t expected to witness this. Perhaps this was just another re-run of Sephiroth being gentle and slow with Cloud, while Reno got it hard and fast up the ass. He liked it that way though. Perhaps the general thought Cloud was too delicate, yet that only added to his appeal. But then what did Sephiroth think of him? Did he think he was just some floozy? Some cheap thrill? Maybe he wouldn't give himself up so easily next time.

Reno watched in a trance like awe as Sephiroth ripped Cloud's trousers off with such legendary vigour. 

This was going to get even more interesting, but perhaps Reno could make it even more entertaining still.

The Turk whisked his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the screed of missed calls from Tseng before opening a new message window.   

21:13 Reno: Hey Zack, have you seen that cute blonde friend of yours tonight yo?

21:14 Zack: Why?

21:15 Reno: No reason yo.

21:15 Zack: Spill it Reno.

21:16 Zack: Reno?

21:17 Zack: Come on answer me!

21:17 Zack: Reno!

Reno chuckled to himself, that was it, he had stirred the pot enough for his desired outcome. Now all he had to do was sit and wait.

A few moments later the repetitive tone of a cell phone ringing permeated the moans and groans of the General and the cadet under him, yet neither seemed to notice.

Reno smirked, it would only be a matter of moments before it would agitate Sephiroth enough that he would have to deal with it.

...

...

"Your phones ringing." Sephiroth smirked slightly as the blonde's phone dangled vicariously from his fingertips.

And bingo!

How had the man located it so quickly?

"Are you going to answer it?" Sephiroth raised an elegant silver eyebrow as he watched the cadet with great amusement. Cloud reached for the phone but his gaze remained dubious, as though seeking the General's permission.

"It's fine."

Cloud nodded before pressing the answer button.

"Yo Spikey!"

Reno chuckled slightly, but caught himself as he promptly covered his lips with his hand. Apparently Zack was spending too much time with him, picking up some of his mannerisms and all.

"Zack?"

"Where are you?"

"Uh, um, just studying." Cloud stuttered as he forced the lie between his lips.

"Studying what? Maybe I could help ya? Being a SOLDIER makes me the expert you know."

Cloud winced, he honestly had no idea what to say, he could practically see the man grinning like an idiot within his mind.

"He's studying with me." Sephiroth’s silky, deep commanding voice commandeered the conversation.

A moments silence fell over the room, a moment in which Zack had to assimilate the words 

"Wait, w-what? No!"

"Yes Zackary." Sephiroth smirked before pressing the end call button without hesitation.

Reno''s eyes widened in disbelief, he actually felt kinda bad for Zack, being shut down like that and all. Maybe he should go and make him feel better? After all the other night was pretty good, although Seph was bigger, Zack had more spunk and considered his needs a lot more...

But damn it he's stuck here in Sephiroth's closet! He won’t be able to leave until they are done... And what if Cloud decides to stay until the morning?

No!

There was no way he was gonna be stuck in here all night!

Reno's eyes ran over the scene before him, he knew the layout yet felt compelled to examine it anyway.

 

~*~*~

 

Zack stood outside the SOLDIER training room in disbelief. Did Cloud just hang up on him? OR was that Sephiroth's doing? But why would Cloud be with Sephiroth? At least it was better than him being with Reno. But barely better. He knew precisely what Seph's intentions were. He had no choice but to stop him in his tracks. 

Poor wee Cloud!

But how?

He didn't even know where they were 'studying'.

Zack allowed himself to fall against the corridor behind him, frustration welling up inside him as he wondered what to do.

Wait...

Sephiroth only ever went to specific locations off of his own volition. His office, his apartment, the mess hall, his apartment, training room, his apartment, the general meeting room, his apartment…

“Sephiroth’s apartment it is!” Zack exclaimed, raising his finger into the air with such vigor. He was fortunate no one was around to witness his revelation.

Chapter 8

Zack had never realised just how many steps it took to get to the general’s apartment. Damn the elevator for being broken. When had he let himself go so bad? He shouldn’t be struggling this much, it was only stairs after all, albeit a lot of stairs…

No.

He had bigger things to be concerned for than his suddenly terrible physical condition….

Like Cloud’s virtue!

Only twelve more flights to go. The first class SOLDIER nodded to himself as he began to ascend the next set.

 

~*~*~

 

Reno had hardly been able to take his eyes off the sight before him, even though he will admit he was struggling to make out anything in the dark. Why did Seph have to go and turn the lights off? What he wouldn’t give for Zack’s mako enhanced eyes right now…

Reno couldn’t ignore the twitch in his groin, when seemed to be growing more intense by the second. He knew he was in a somewhat perverse situation, but he was sure he normally had more control over himself that this?

Oh wait… Reno winced as he realised his phone was on vibrate and going off in his pocket.

Shit! The Turk wasted no time whisking it out, quickly realising he was on the receptive end of a phone call from Tseng. Shit! What did his boss want now? How was he supposed to answer a phone call while holed up in General Sephiroth’s wardrobe?! It was probably already too late… The General’s super human hearing had probably already picked up on the fact there was an extra person in his room that shouldn’t be there. But then if that was the case, why hadn’t he shown him the door?

Maybe he liked being watched?

Kinky…

Reno smirked as he sunk his finger into the end call button. There was no way he could talk to Tseng now, though he knew the man would not appreciate being hung up on…

Sephiroth leaned forward, his lips gently planting a kiss on the blonde’s forehead.

“You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve been waiting for this.” The General whispered, his breath hot against Cloud’s tender skin.

Reno screwed up his face, sudden repulsed by the sight before him. Damn you Sephiroth… Where were his tender kisses towards him? The Turk crossed his arms like a spoilt brat and turned his attention to the blank wall.

It didn’t take long before boredom consumed him and his eyes were once again on the outline of Cloud’s supple behind.  

Reno jumped out of his skin as the ring of a door bell resounded through the apartment. Who could that be? Zack perhaps?

Sephiroth grunted, making no effort to disguise his frustration as he clambered off of the bed, tearing himself away from him newfound lover. He whisked a bathrobe around his body, tying it up a he made for the door.

Reno crouched right up close to the slits, praying he wouldn’t loose his balance and fall through the door. Knowing his luck it was destined to happen regardless…

The General pulled back his front door with a grunt of irritation.

“Tseng?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow in supressed surprise, half anticipating a distressed Zack to be standing on the other side.

Tseng? Reno pressed his ear against the wardrobe door, straining to make out what was going on. Why had Tseng come all this way to see Sephiroth? Was it because he didn’t answer his phone earlier?  

“I believe you have a stowaway in your wardrobe.” Tseng sighed with a disconcerting calmness.

Reno’s eyes widened as each word collided against his eardrum with a resonant force.

Damnit! Shit! Fuck! How the hell did Tseng know he was even here? He must have his damn phone tracked. Reno’s eyes darted between the slits, running furiously across the room. How would he get himself out of this one?! He hardly had time to think as the wardrobe door was torn open before him. Sephiroth stood over him, soon followed by the redhead’s boss.

Reno’s adorned his lips with an uncomfortable, forced smile as he peered up at the two, unsure of what to say or do, wishing the grim reaper would just pay him a visit and spare him this indignity.

“If you would just answer your phone Reno.” Tseng shook his head, rubbing his temples in frustration as Sephiroth reached into his wardrobe, yanking the redhead out without an ounce of mercy.

Reno’s eyes turned once more the blonde in the General’s bed, offering a knowing smirk as he watched Cloud attempt to cover himself up in vain.

“I need a SOLDIER for an urgent mission that has just come up.” Tseng advised Sephiroth, apparently choosing to ignore the blonde cadet in the man’s bed in favour of discretion.  

“One that can put up with this one.” Tseng added, jerking Reno closer to the General, as if making it abundantly clear as to who he was referring to.

“Zack should be here shortly, take him.”

“How do you know?” Tseng raised a confused eyebrow, yet he didn’t exactly anticipate an answer.

“I have a strong feeling.” Sephiroth made no effort to disguise his smirk.

Reno sunk his teeth into his lip, attempting in vain to supress his laughter. This was all his fault after all, Zack could thank him later.

The racket of someone furiously stampeding up metal stairs grew steadily louder. The three rolled their eyes in unison as the stampede grew to its peak before suddenly drawing to a halt.

No one was surprised to see Zack standing in the open doorway with his jaw dropped half way to the floor.

“Reno? Tseng? What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Sephiroth interjected, knowing full well what the answer truly was.

“Oh, uh, you know, just checking up on you and Clou-.” Zack scratched the back of his head as a desperate grin fir for an idiot consumed his lips.

“I hardly require checking up on Zack.” Sephiroth interjected, standing in front of the young SOLDIER, deliberately blocking his view of the bed.

“Oh right, of course.”

“Hop to it, Tseng requires your assistance.”

Zack nodded, suddenly realising he would now have to descend all those stairs he had just climbed.

 

~*~*~

 

It had been a long time since he had gone on a mission with Reno. Perhaps that was for good reason… Then again Shinra obviously had no other choice in this particular circumstance. Zack’s eyes lingered over the redhead’s fingers as they dangled lazily from the helicopter’s joystick.

It was only them in the helicopter, aside from two Shinra troopers fast asleep in the back. Zack could hardly ignore the smirk that lined Reno’s lips as his thoughts clearly delved down the same path.

Even though his groin could hardly ignore Reno, he also couldn’t understand what the Turk had been doing in Sephiroth’s apartment.

“What were you doing with Sephiroth?” Zack turned to face the Turk, his tone coming across as a bit more accusatory than he had intended.

“Hey yo! I wasn’t doing anything with him yo!” Reno raised his hands defensively, letting go of the joy stick in the process before quickly securing it in his fingers once more.

“That would be a first… Then why were you looking all dishevelled in his apartment? And why was Tseng holding you by the arm?”

“Geez you don’t miss a beat do you yo.” Reno resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“That’s hardly answering the question.”

“I got stuck in his wardrobe okay?”

Zack bit his lip as a bubble of laughter threatened to erupt from his throat.

“Why were you in his wardrobe?” The first class began before realising he needn’t ask why.

“I thought you were only into young cadets…? Setting your sights a bit high are we?” Zack added, no longer bothering to hide the amusement on his lips.

“Excuse me! Yo!” Reno’s jaw dropped in disbelief, his voice prompting movement from the two troopers in the back. The action prompted him to cease the conversation as he focused once more on the dark frontier before him. It did get him wondering if Zack had even noticed Cloud in the general’s bed? Maybe he should ask him? Reno shook his head, thinking better of it as he traced the shadow of Zack’s sculpted abs through the corner of his eye. Damn those SOLDIER uniforms had gotten tight lately.

“You know, a storms expected to hit the target area tonight yo. May have to hunker down somewhere for the night.” Reno winked, hardly seeming disappointed at the prospect.

“Best news I’ve heard all day.”

Chapter 9

Perhaps this had been a good idea, perhaps it hadn't, but at this very point in time he frankly didn't care as his eyes ran over every flexed muscle inadvertently displayed before him.

Zack's body truly was that of a God's.

Reno bit the side of his lip, if for no other reason than to stop the drool from escaping the safe confines of his lower mouth. 

Zack discarded his Shinra issue Soldier class one shirt, leaving his bare chest vulnerable to a hungry gaze as the material cascaded to the floor.

None of this bothered Reno in the slightest of course as he allowed his body to flop onto the bed, taking full advantage of the situation unfolding before him.

  
"Life doesn't get any better than this." Reno wolf whistled as he winked at his comrade for the night. 

"Oh yeah? You just wait until I'm buried inside you." Zack chuckled, an act that proved only to accentuating the playfulness in his voice.

"Oh but I can't wait." The Turk climbed off the bed before reaching Zack's side in one smooth stride. He wasted no time sliding behind the Soldier, if for no other reason than to get a better view of his backside. Though this strategy went by no means unnoticed by the agile Soldier class one.

"You better make sure you go as deep as you can." Reno smirked, his breath hot against the Soldier's neck. 

"It's been a while."

"How long? Five minutes?" Zack raised an eyebrow as he posed the question to the Turk, half as a joke, half in earnest.

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Reno whined, yet a chuckle lingered in his voice as his hand delivered a smack on Zack's perfectly molded cheek. He smirked, allowing his touch to linger until told otherwise. 

"Yeah you are." Zack huffed in amusement as he turned his head slightly before wasting no time seizing the moment. He smirked as he en captured the redhead's lips within his own, not at all taking Reno by surprise. 

The Turk didn't bother to hide his delight as he began to drive the Soldier towards the bed. Though, the task was hardly proving difficult, Zack offered little resistance as Reno felt the back of his legs collide with the edge of the bed. This was the moment he had been waiting for as he felt his body fall straight into the soft mattress.

"Someone's eager." Reno teased as he instinctively spread his legs apart. 

"Speak for yourself." Zack raised an eyebrow at the man beneath him, as though hardly believing the audacious cheek that just left his lips.

"You better believe it yo." Reno winked, seemingly unphased by the Soldiers expression.

"However..." Zack began, running his eyes over the body beneath him, allowing the essence of disappointment to linger within them. 

"What the matter yo?" Reno raised an eyebrow, slight apprehension weaseled its way into his voice as he tried to decipher what exactly it was that was bothering the Soldier. 

"Why are these still here?"  Zack raised his eyebrows as he tugged on the Turk's trousers, yet Reno could tell the man wasn't interested in an answer, only in results.

 
"Well, you could do something about that you know." Reno winked as the man wasted no time tearing the clothing from the Turk's over-eager body.

"You better be ready Reno, I'm gonna tear you apart." 

"I'll hold you to that."

"Good." Zack smirked as he secured the Turk's wrist above his head before climbing on top of his pleading form.

Reno refused to hold back his moans as they trespassed over his lips. 

Damn Zack was good.

 
The Soldier wasted no time running his tongue further south down the redheads body until it went as south as it could go. 

"Ahh!" The Turk cried out, suddenly glad the two had the room that was as far away from other guests as possible. 

He knew Zack was barely getting started, yet he felt the blood rush through his body in preparation for what was about to come. 

The Soldier gripped Reno's member in his fingers before drawing its throbbing form to his lips. He pressed his tongue to the slit before driving it in. Each stroke drawing stray grunts and moans from the redheads lips. 

"Is this what you wanna do to Cloud?" Zack paused his attention towards his activity, choosing instead to question the Turk. His husky voice certainly acting as an advantage in this instance. Not that Reno was in any state to give a reasonable answer.

The question had caught the Turk off guard, he hadn't anticipated that Zack would mention his desirable and adorably cute cadet friend in the middle of such madness. 

"Yeah! This would just be the start yo!"

"Oh yeah, and what else would you want to do?"

"You have no idea."

"Would it be this?" Zack smirked, though he knew Reno would never bear witness to it as he slide the man's member through his lips before driving to the back of his throat.

"Ahh!" Reno arched his back in a fusion of pleasure and delight. No one knew how to work him quite like Zack did. 

"Or maybe you'd prefer a bit of this." Zack smirked once more as he allowed the member to fall from his lips. Choosing instead to grasp the Turk by his hips, only to turn him over. He wanted to desperately to bury himself inside the redhead, and he made no effort to hide this fact.  

Of course Reno wasn't about to complain as he put up zero resistance to the man's actions. He was well aware of what the Soldier was about to do and the man was a hundred percent right. Of course he wanted to do these things to the Soldiers blonde bombshell of a friend, yet he was also thrilled to received them from Zack. Actually, he had a huge list of people he wouldn't mind receiving this treatment from.

Rufus, Tseng, even Angeal or Genesis just to name a few.

"You would never allow me to do this to Cloud, or the things I'm about to make you do to me yo." Reno smirked, knowing full well the man would not bare witness to it, yet he knew the essence would linger in his words, something the man would be unable to ignore.  

"Damn right I wouldn't." Zack's hot breath against Reno's skin, damp with sweat, was his sole confirmation that his words reigned true. As long as Zack was in the picture, he would never know what it truly felt like to have the young blonde.  

"Besides, this should quench your thirst for a long time." Zack chuckled as he lined his member against the Turks opening before pressing it against it, not holding back as he drive himself into the man's body.

Reno rolled his eyes, a mixture of pleasure as it rose through his body, yet also mocking the man's words. As if this would satisfy him for more than five minutes. It seems Zack barely knew him at all.

 

~*~*~
 

"Rude! Ruuude! RUDE!" Reno was making no effort at being discreet as he pounded on the apartment door of his partner in crime. He knew he was in there, but he also knew the man was awake. How could he not be after all the racket he was making? Besides, he knew Rude had a tendency to fake being asleep to avoid Reno's midnight dramas.

Of course, he could just use the spare key Rude had foolishly given him...

"Why didn't you answer the door bro?" Reno quizzed the man as he strode into his fellow Turk's apartment. He had located Rude sitting staunchly on the couch, a beer gripped tightly within his right hand. It was as though he were either trying to relax, or prepare for the unavoidable interrogation he knew was coming. 

"Ah, you know." Rude began, without seeming to have any intention of completing his sentence.

 
Reno stepped closer to his friend, part of him wanting to interrogate him further, the other dying to lump onto him the latest gossip about himself. 

"Aren't you still supposed to be on that mission with lieutenant Fair?" Rude raised an eyebrow, although it seemed his words were more geared up to divert the erratic behavior of the redhead. 

"Finished yo! And in more ways than one." Reno smirked, while also trying to determine if it was truly necessary to add a wink to draw his friend onto the same page.

Rude sighed before rolling his eyes. Reno chuckled slightly to himself, quickly realising his prompting was not necessary. 

"How many times is that now? Eight?" Rude resisted the urge to shake his head, preparing to hear another rendition of the what was fundamentally the same sordid Zack sex story.

"Double digits yo!" Reno gazed at Rude almost disappointingly, as though expecting better from his best friend.

"Right." Rude nodded, not entirely sure what the redhead was expecting from him, before drawing his can of beer to his lips. 

"Now I just gotta get Zack out of the picture long enough that I can slay his blonde friend." Reno tapped his index finger against the corner of his chin, as though giving the situation some serious thought. Rude of course, knew that expression all too well. Reno already had a plan all worked out, about the only time he thought ahead. 

"Good luck with that." Rude chuckled, though he didn't intend his words be delivered in such a harsh tone. 

"What, you don't think I can yo?" Reno raised an eyebrow as he wrapped his fingers around his EMR before tossing it over his shoulder. Perhaps if he had thought about his actions he would have realized that he needed to work on his timing.

It was better to not give off a threatening vibe, especially to your work partner.

"Of course I don't." Rude chuckled before returning his beer to the coffee table.  

Chapter 10

"Lieutenant Fair, you have a mission in Nibelheim." Sephiroth stated the fact as if bored, not bothering to look up from the stacks of paperwork littering all corners of his desk as he handed a cluster of paper towards the man.
 
"Hmm..." The second began, collecting the pile of paper in his grasp before running his eyes briefly over the mission orders.

"Hmm..."

"Ahh..."

"Hmm..."

"What is it Leuitenant?" Sephiroth sighed, not bothering to hide his agitation as his gaze slowly drew north until it landed on the second's somewhat amused face.
 
"Wasn't this originally your mission?" Zack raised his eyebrow, though a glimmer in his eyes suggested there was no question about it. 

"That is not your concern Zack." Sephiroth stated coldly before returning his attention to his insurmountable pile of paperwork.

"Interesting." Zack stated, refusing to take his eyes off the General as he drummed his fingers incessantly along the edge of the paper, as if attempting to annoy the man before him further.

"A turk will accompany you, along with three infantry."

"Do I at least get to chose who?"

"No."

"Aww come on Sephy!" 

"No, and don't 'Sephy' me, Its Sephiroth to you."

Zack tilted his head slightly, as though concerned by the whiplash of words he was currently receiving.

"Are you okay?" The second dared to ask as he leaned closer to the man before him.

"Your helicopter leaves in 20 minutes, I suggest you use this time wisely."

"Ah, okay." Zack nodded hesitantly, though he may well not have bothered, its not as though the General would have noticed. 

What was up with Sephiroth?

Zack shook his head, dismissing the thought from his head before turning for the door.

 

~*~*~

 

Why did nothing ever go his way?

It didn't seem to matter how hard he tried, he was always destined to fail.

Perhaps that was his sole reason for existence? For the sadistic amusement of some bored god.

Either way life was doing him no favours and sitting here moping about it wasn't going to get him anywhere either.

Which leaves him where?

Cloudless and loveless.

Well, that wasn't exactly true...

He still had Sephiroth and Zack and half the guys in the Shinra building yet it still didn't seem enough.
 
He hated it when he got like this, stuck in a rut that no one ever seemed to be able to relate to.

The one thing he truly wanted was the one thing he would never have. 

Thanks Zack. 

Reno sighed as he allowed his body to fall against the pile of blankets that lay scattered over his mattress.

Who was he kidding, he was Reno! He only had himself to blame if he failed at a conquest.  

Perhaps he should make the most of this alone time as his eyes drew imaginary lines between the dots on his ceiling. 

Yes.

That he should do as a smirk began to grow on his lips. 

The redhead felt a shudder run through his body as his fingers danced over his belt buckle.
 
He closed his eyes, his heart pounding as his fingers unhinged the only obstacle in the way of his pleasure.
 
Reno gasped as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, soon extracting pleasure with every stroke.

The redhead was jolted from his pleasure by the echo of a slamming door; prompting him to sit up, prepared to face the intruder.

"You have another mission." Rude stated, the essence of a smirk threatening to consume his lips as he delivered the news to his partner.
 
"But I just got off one." Reno all but whined as he hastily did up his trousers; relieved that the intruder had only been Rude. Though he couldn't help but cringe at the amount of times the man had walked in on him doing this.

Hell, it had been that many times that Rude didn't even bother to comment on it this time.

"Orders from Rufus himself." Rude continued as he pushed an envelope towards his partner's chest, violating his personal space bubble. 

"Isn't it your turn?" Reno rolled his eyes as he reluctantly snatched the envelope from Rude's fingers.

"Would it help if I told you a certain cadet was on the mission?"

Reno's gaze rose to meet Rude's as if searching for confirmation of a hopeful truth. 

"Cloud?" 

Rude nodded, watching with amusement as a smile commandeered the red head's lips. 

"See ya!" Reno yelled excitedly as he bolted for his door, this was one flight he couldn't afford to miss. 

~*~*~

 

Reno didn't bother to hide his delight as he yanked open the door to his favourite helicopter.

What did he have to complain about now?

He had the best helicopter, a blonde bombshell and a lot of time to kill in a remote backwater village.

The night was young, this mission would only take a few hours in total, but there were ways of making it last longer.

Reno couldn't deny the smirk as it threatened his lips.

What more could he ask for? Reno grinned, flicking several switches, as the whir of rotor blades spinning progressively faster drowned out all other noise. 

He sat still, now all he had to do was wait for the blonde bombshell and the rest of the team to arrive.

The redhead leaned back, exhaling excitedly as he rested his arms above his head. 

A flash of movement danced across the windshield.

Was that him?

Reno instantly bolted forward before leaning over the passengers seat in an effort to gain a better vantage point.

This was it, this was the moment he would get to internally drool over Cloud, eventually getting to sink his fingers to those supple ass cheeks.

Reno's lips began to salivate over the thought as he watched a group of figures cloaked in darkness progress over the tarmac. 

Reno ran his wet tongue over his hungry lips as the figures began to take shape, their forms becoming clearer until they stood mere metres away from the helicopter.

Reno's eyes widened as his jaw dropped in disbelief. 

No.

How could that be?

What the hell was Zack doing here?

He better not be coming on this mission too!

Reno gritted his teeth.

Rude hadn't mentioned that.

Why hadn't Rude told him?

Probably because he didn't want to have to do this mission himself, didn't he have a date tonight?

In what seemed like a fraction of a second, the passenger door was yanked open. 

"What the fuck are you doing here yo?" Reno spat, momentarily loosing his cool as he watched the dark haired soldier stall before turning to the side door.

"Good evening to you too Reno?" Zack raised an eyebrow, unable to hide his confusion at the less than gracious greeting he had just received from his friend. He had been intending to sit in the passengers seat but that wasn't exactly going to happen now.

"Why does a Soldier need to go on this mission?"

"Why does a Turk need to go?"

"I read the report, it's not serious enough for a Soldier yo."

"Hey you think I want to go any more than you?"

Reno opened his mouth to argue the point but was abruptly cut off by an all too endearing sight.

The blonde cadet was climbing into the back, assuming the seat beside Zack. 

That's okay, obviously Reno would have preferred the blonde sit beside him, but from here he could at least stare at him through the mirror without it being so obvious.

Reno reluctantly turned his attention back towards the controls, if for no other reason than lack of a valid arguing point.

Reno rolled his eyes, doubting Zack would ever let Cloud go anywhere with him unsupervised.

Chapter 11

Damn he was glad to get off of that mission.

Sephiroth sighed in relief to himself as he sat behind his desk.

It was now ten o'clock at night, yet he was still at work.

Damn Shinra knew how to extract every cent out of him.

 

~*~*~

 

Well...

Reno audibly sighed as he navigated the helicopter towards Nibleheim's only Mako reactor. 

"You know what your mission is right yo?" Reno darted his eyes to the dark haired Soldier next to him.

"Of course Reno." Zack nodded, yet his eyes suggested that he prayed the redhead would not ask questions about it.

"You mean you actually read the mission report?" Reno screwed up his face, as though it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard.

Zack opened his mouth to speak before stalling.

"You didn't did you yo." Reno rolled his eyes, not needing an answer from the Soldier to know he was right.

"There's a bunch of monsters hanging around the Mako reactor, shouldn't be too much trouble for a Soldier yo." Reno smirked, his eyes dancing over Zack's perfectly formed, tanned and best of all, exposed biceps.

The redhead felt himself begin to salivate as his groin began to stir. 

Oh gods how he wished Zack would wear the same outfit as Sephiroth, tight leather pants and exposed chest.

Damn he was hungry and not for food.

His gaze had lingered for perhaps a little bit too long as Zack turned to face him.

"Aren't you supposed to be staring at where your going?" The Soldier raised a curious eyebrow at the Turk, yet he hardly seemed bother by the attention upon him. 

"Ah, but I would much rather stare at you yo." Reno smirked, his voice adopting a low, seductive tone.

Zack gazed into his eyes, as though contemplating whether or not to respond to his blatant desires.

Reno seemed to, for the moment at least, forget about the blonde cadet in the back as hormones seized control of his brain. 

"I'll sort these monsters out quick." Zack smirked after a delayed silence, as though deliberately holding the redhead in suspense.

"That's what I like to hear yo."

"It's getting late, I'll sort a room in the village." Reno added as he slowed the helicopter in preparation for descent.

"Get two rooms, one for us and one for everyone else. Drop me off here and I'll meet you back in the village."

"Way ahead of you yo."

He didn't need to tell Reno twice as he hovered the helicopter just above the ground. 

Reno smirked as he watched Zack dive from the helicopter, landing effortlessly on his feet, reaching for his sword before running towards a gathering of monsters.

The redhead made no effort to hide the grin dancing almost teasingly on his lips as he deliberately lingered.

The only thing better than watching Zack in action in the field was watching him in action in bed.
 

 ~*~*~

Zack put his enormous buster sword through the last remaining monster before quickly tossing it back into place.

He had to get back to the village and fast! 

The Soldier ran faster than he ever had in his entire life until he finally reached the small village.

The inn, where was the inn? Zack's eyes searched the village, almost desperately before quickly locating his target.

He wasted no time as he asked the reception for the room number before bolting up the stairs.

"Took you long enough yo." Reno smirked, as he lay on the bed, every ounce of his flesh on display for the Soldier's pleasure.

"Sorry." Zack smirked, wondering how Reno could be so comfortable laying there in such an exposed state, what if it had been someone else slamming the door open just now instead of him?

"I never said you should be sorry, now get naked and get your ass over here yo." The redhead teased, taking no shame in watching the Soldier undress until his bare flesh stood right before him.

Reno wasted no time as his lips went straight for Zack's groin, quickly taking the man in is mouth as though he were a starved animal.

"Damn your good Reno." Zack huffed, his low husky voice only proved to tantalize the redhead even more as his cock drove down into the depths of Reno's throat.

"You want more? I can give you more yo." Reno smirked as he dropped the man's cock from his lips before turning around.

He wasted no time adopting a new position as he aimed his ass towards Zack before spreading his cheeks.

Zack's heart pounded as his eyes ran over the tight entrance being offered to him. Without hesitation, he quickly grasped his cock before lining it up to the Turk's opening.

"Come on Zack." Reno demanded almost impatiently as his breathing hitched.

Zack didn't need to be told twice as he drove his cock into the audacious redhead. 

"Oh!" Reno instantly moaned, as he ground his hips against the Soldier, his body begging for more. Zack smirked, this attribute was one he had come to appreciate in the redhead, his love of rough sex, nether mind the fact that he had no trouble accommodating the Soldier's cock within his body either.

Zack slid his hand around the Turk's waist, quickly grasping Reno's cock within his fingers before pumping the man for all he was worth.    

"Z-Zack, yes! More! Please!" Reno pleaded as waves of pleasure began to build up inside of him.

It was a request the Soldier was all too willing to grant as he drove himself further and harder into the redhead.

A knock at the door prompted a gasp from both the Soldier and the Turk.

Who could that be?

"Did you lock the door yo?" Reno raised an eyebrow at the Soldier, though a flash of amusement in his eyes suggested he already knew the answer.

"Damn it." Zack's eyes darted to the door, praying no one would attempt to open it.

He was out of luck today as the door handle slowly turned, before the door slid open.

Zack's heart pounded as he anticipated who would be on the other side.

What if it were one of the infantrymen?

What would they think if they witnessed the second in command with his cock buried inside the notorious redheaded Turk.

"Z-Zack?" A familiar blonde stood at the door, his eyes as wide as saucers as his eyes ran over the somewhat surprising scene before him.

"Get inside! Quick!" Zack panicked, how could he have forgotten to make sure the door was locked?

The Soldier's eyes darted between Reno and the blonde, as though contemplating whether it were actually safe to let Cloud into the bedroom with Reno.

"Cloud get in here then shut the door and lock it." Zack added, his body frozen as he tried commanding it to withdraw from the Turk.

Cloud did as he was ordered, panic consuming him, making him too afraid not to. 

"W-what is going on-" Cloud stuttered, this was not the image he had expected to bare witness to when he opened the door.

"Why don't you come join us blondie." Reno winked as he ran his tongue seductively over his lower lip.

The act prompted a slap over the back of his head from none other than the Soldier with his cock inside his ass.

"He will do no such thing." Zack growled lowly as though he were a protective dog.

"Why aren't you with the other infantrymen?" The Turk tilted his head slightly, his eyes running hungrily over the blonde's body as though remembering what he looked like absent clothing. 

"They've gone drinking." Cloud began, his eyes darting to the floor, as though not knowing where else to look.

"And?" Reno raised an eyebrow at the blonde's words, still wondering what the issue was as he shoved his ass against Zack's hips, grinding desperately as he attempted to extract further pleasure from the Soldier.

Zack's body remained frozen, denying the Turk what he so desperately craved.

Zack shook himself into gear, promptly withdrawing from the Redhead's body, grasping a blanket before tossing it over the unashamed Redhead.

"You know for a Turk you don't know Cloud very well, do you?" 

~*~*~

"Sir, you have a meeting with the vice president."

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows at the words, last time he checked his day planner he didn't have a meeting.

"Is that so?" The General began as he rose his gaze to meet the intruder in his office.

"He just scheduled the meeting a few moments ago." The assistant clarified, apparently immune to Sephiroth's annoyed gaze.

Great. 

Just great.

"Thank you." Sephiroth nodded to the woman, dismissing her, yet he made no effort to move from his desk.

Damn it Rufus.

There was nothing Sephiroth hated more than turning up to a spontaneous meeting unprepared.

Perhaps that's what the vice president wanted.

The general closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he reluctantly rose from behind his desk.

What could this be about?

The silver haired Soldier pondered as he strode down Shinra corridor after Shinra corridor.

Perhaps it had something to do with Zack's mission last night? But Zack isn't usually the cause of poor behaviour. 

Who else was on the mission?  

Sephiroth's mind ran back to the mission report as he strained to remember.

His eyes widened at his own thought.

Reno.

Damn it.

The General winced at the thought as he strode into Rufus's office.

"Ah, General Sephiroth." The man promptly greeted him, glancing up from the report within his his fingers before placing it down on his over sized desk.

"Vice president." Sephiroth acknowledged as he slowly, almost cautiously approached the man's desk.

"Have a seat." Rufus offered, waving his hand almost lazily towards a seat in front of him.

"What is this about?"

"Well, it seems we have a problem."

Sephiroth nodded, that much was already apparent, otherwise why else would he be here?

"The mission to Nibleheim, the one Lieutenant Fair is on, you know, the one you were supposed to go on?"

"Yes, yes." Sephiroth sighed in a somewhat frustrated huff as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the Vice President.

"Well, they never returned last night."

Sephiroth's eyes widened at the man's words. 

What had happened?

He had read the mission report, it was something Zack would have been able to handle with ease.

"We are ordering a recon mission and we feel it's best you lead it."

"Right." Sephiroth nodded instinctively, expecting nothing less.
  
 

Chapter 12

Sephiroth strode across the helipad at the top of Shinra HQ.

Damn he was angry.

No.

Angry wasn't quite the right word.

He was more...

Frustrated.

Damn he needed Cloud's lips around his cock.

Or perhaps Reno, completely naked and bent over his desk, his legs sprawled apart, just waiting for the General to enter his pleading form.

Or Zack. 

Yes.

Zack. 

He had yet to taste his second.
 
What would he want from Zack?

The General pondered the thought as he climbed into the passenger seat. His eyes darted to the pilots seat, noticing Rude was sitting there. Sephiroth offered the Turk a courteous nod before securing his seat belt, not that he particularly needed one. Jumping from helicopter's was a prerequisite of his job.

"Sir!" Rude acknowledged the General before flicking several switches on the panel above him.

Maybe he would have Zack playing with his blonde friend while he watched.

No!

Sephiroth suddenly sat up straight, flinching with anger at his own thought. He felt Rude's eyes dart to him in concern but he chose to ignore them.

No. 

He wanted the blonde to himself. 

Then...

Perhaps he should have Zack play with Reno while he watched?

Yes.

That sounded much better. 

How typical though, the one time he really needed any of them, none were here.

Then again, he only had himself to blame for sending everyone of his current love interests away on the same mission.

"Are you ready sir?"

"Quite."

~*~*~

Reno lay sprawled about in the bed, the morning sun streaming through the curtains. 

He would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit tired, though he suspected Zack was worse, having spent the entire night fending off the redhead's relentless advances towards his best friend.

Cloud lay on the other side of Zack to Reno, both Soldier and cadet appeared to still be asleep.

Perfect.

A smile teased upon Reno's lips as he thought he would try his luck once more.

He slowly reached over the Soldiers bare hip, he was so close to resting his fingers on the blonde's supple flesh.  

So. Damn. Close.

"What do you think your doing?!" Zack growled, not bothering to open his eyes. It seemed he already knew what was about to take place.

Then again, this was just another rendition of the same moves the Turk had been trying all night.

"You." Reno chuckled before quickly altering the course of his fingers. He wasted no time sliding his hand down Zack's abdomen before resting it with ease upon the soldier's cock.

Zack glanced over his shoulder at the redhead, the doubt lingered within in his eyes.

He was well aware that Reno was lying.

His real goal had been Cloud, as it had been all night and this entire Midgar summer.

"Is that right?" Zack turned over to face Reno, though the skepticism was still rife in his eyes.

"Damn right." Reno lied as he traced his tongue seductively over his lips.

Zack's eyes narrowed, it was obvious to the Turk that he was appealing to some part of the Soldier, yet he also knew that the raven haired Soldier would not allow naughty acts to be conducted in front of the blonde.

However...

If Reno were to make Zack aroused enough...

A smirk grew on the redhead's lips.

Yes...

This would be the only way.

Reno gave Zack's cock a tight, reassuring squeeze before disappearing under the sheets. The Soldier parted his legs slightly, granting the Turk easier access.

~*~*~

"Sir! We have arrived." Rude advised the silver haired General next to him.

Sephiroth gazed out the window, surveying the landscape around the Mako reactor for a combination of monsters and the dead bodies of his love interests.

Up until this point, it actually hadn't occured to him that they may well be dead.

What would he do then?

Sephiroth let out a low groan of frustration, one he hadn't intended to actually leave his lips.

"Is everything alright Sir?" Rude raised an eyebrow, hoping he hadn't overstepped the line, yet he couldn't help but notice the strange behaviour exhibited by the General this entire mission.

"Quite." Sephiroth lied, not that he had any intention of revealing his private thoughts to Rude, though he expected the man knew how to keep a secret, well, better than Reno at least.

Much to the General's relief, his eyes fell upon the slain bodies of a horde of monsters, and just that.

So Zack had succeeded.

But if that were the case, then where was he?

And Reno.

And Cloud of course.

Sephiroth's heart skipped a beat as he thought of the blonde beauty. His damsel in distress. Yet he knew the cadet would hate it if he knew he thought of him in such a way.

"All seems to be in order here. Now, take us to the village, I suspect they may be there."

"Of course Sir." Rude nodded before altering the trajectory of the helicopter.

The flight between the reactor and the village was mere minutes, yet it felt like an eternity to Sephiroth.

His frustration had not eased in the slightest, if anything, it had only grown in it's intensity.

He had to find Cloud.

Sephiroth slid out of the helicopter before striding into the village, he knew the presence of more Soldiers in the small village would likely distress the locals. Especially if the latest Shinra representative was the Soldier General himself.

He pondered where to begin as Rude paced next to him, acting as his body guard it seemed.

Not that the General needed one.

If he was unable to defend himself against something, they were all fucked.

"Sir, I suggest starting at the village's Inn." Rude offered the most logical course of action. One that Sephiroth was all too willing to accept. 

"Agreed."

"This way Sir," Rude directed the General, making it apparent he had visited this village during previous excursions.  

Sephiroth nodded before following behind the Turk, almost blindly.

He would be lying if he said he had more confidence in Reno than Rude.

Rude certainly behaved in a far more professional manner.

Reno was forever getting into trouble, though he was equally capable at getting himself out of it.

"It seems they are here." Rude turned back to face the General after speaking to the Inn keeper.

"Good. Which room?"

"They have booked two rooms."

"Which one is Zack in? I'll check on him, you check on the other's." Sephiroth quickly ordered, his groin making all of his decisions it seemed.

"Here." Rude nodded, not about to challenge the great General Sephiroth as he passed the man a key.

~*~*~

Reno trailed his tongue around the tip of Zack's cock, being very careful to be as quiet as he could. The last thing he wanted was to jeopardize his chances of continuing this sordid act by accidentally waking Cloud.

The Turk took the man further in his mouth, savoring the taste within his lips.

Suddenly the door flew up open, banging the wall behind it with a thud.

Reno jolted, Zack's cock disappearing further down his throat than he had anticipated. The redhead resisted the urge to throw up as he choked on the Soldier's cock.

Wow. It turns out he does have a gag reflex after all.

"S-Sephiroth." Zack's eyes widened in shock as he instinctively attempted to sit up, kicking the redhead away in the process. 

Damn.

Here he was, naked in front of the General with only a blanket for protection.

Sephiroth strode into the room, grasping the edge of the rebounding door without even looking before pushing it shut.

His eyes fell straight upon Zack's bare chest and disheveled expression.

Gorgeous.

If Sephiroth had been by himself, he would have licked his lips at the delectable sight.

An unquenchable hunger lurked within his eyes, one he doubt went unnoticed by the raven haired Soldier.

"Get on your knees Zack." Sephiroth demanded, his breath hot and heavy as he now stood at the edge of the bed.

"B-but I'm nak-"

"All the better." Sephiroth cut him off, wondering if the man had yet clicked as to where his lips were about to go.

Reno remained hidden under the blanket as his eyes widened at the General's demand. 

Zack pulled the blanket back, though he was careful not to reveal the Turk beneath it, loitering at his thighs like a depraved animal.

The Soldier climbed off the bed before crouching on all fours, as requested. Sephiroth didn't bother to hide his delight at witnessing is second in command completely naked and on his knees before him. 

Yes.

He would have preferred the blonde, but he was on a somewhat tight schedule. He knew it would only be a matter of time before Rude turned up at his door and Zack was the only one awake.

Besides, it's not as though he hadn't been dying to taste his raven haired second.

Reno's eyes darted to the only other person in the bed.

Cloud.

He lay there, unprotected, vulnerable and beautiful. And yet, somehow still asleep, even after that door slamming episode Sephiroth had caused.

This was it.

This was his opportunity. 

But how was he supposed to touch the blonde when Sephiroth loomed over the bed? The General was even more protective than Zack.

Well...

Potentially more.

Though right now it seemed Zack was the one he was most interested in. 

And...

At least Reno wasn't the only one at the receiving end of Sephiroth's demand's. In fact, it seemed like Cloud was the only who got the best of the General's manners.

Bastard.   

Chapter 13

“I need you to do something for me Zack.” Sephiroth’s voice had an undeniable edge to it. Some would think him impatient, but Reno just figured the man was hungry. 

Hungry for a bit of Zack. 

So was he for that matter.

For once, Reno was glad it wasn’t him on his knees in front of the great General.

Zack was in for a rough ride.

A ride he almost wanted to watch.

Damn it. 

Now he had to decide which he wanted more.

Reno slowly peered out from under the pile of blankets

Damn Zack looked delicious from his angle.

His perfectly moulded backside, ripples of muscle lingering just below the skin.

Damn it, now he was drooling again.

“What is it you want Sephy?” Zack gazed up at the man, doing his best to disguise the trepidation in his eyes.

Reno shook his head slightly.

Unbelievable.

Come on Zack, you know what he wants.

Not to mention he’s brave, calling the general by his most hated nickname when he was in this unconscionable state.

“You know what I want.” Sephiroth’s eyes appeared to become more possessed by the minute.

Possessed with lust.

He tore open his trousers, causing his cock to spill out.

“Oh I see.” Zack nodded as though a lightbulb had suddenly gone on in his head.

“That's right Zack.” 

“Damn you’re big.” Zack’s eyes were as wide as saucers, though why he was surprised he didn’t know. Of course the general would be big. 

“This works better if you open your mouth Zack.” Sephiroth stated, impertinence seeping through his voice.

Reno sunk his teeth into his cheek in an effort not to burst into fits of laughter. 

“But Seph I’m totally gonna choke on that thing!” 

“Reno can handle it, so can you.”

Shit.

Trust Sephiroth to kiss and tell.

“What? You did this with Reno?” Zack looked very confused indeed.

“We did a lot more than just this.”

“What? When?”

“That's none of your concern Zackary, now hurry up.”

“Was that why he was in your apartment?” Zack gazed up at the silver haired general, his eyes as wide as saucers as he attempted to figure out this puzzle.

Sephiroth took a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he forced an audible sigh from his lips.

“I’m on a tight schedule here Zack, now suck.”

“I want the details!” Zack whined as though he were a petulant child. 

“FIne. How about this then, how about I give you all the details when we are back in the office?”

Zack appeared to consider his predicament.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

A yawn escaped Reno’s lips.

This was starting to get boring. Too much talking, not enough action.

Yes. 

Time to focus on something a little more interesting. The blond was mere inches away from him. If he could just sneak over inch by inch then Seph may not notice. 

Yes. 

That might just work. 

He glanced over at the blonde.

How the hell was Cloud still asleep through all of Sephiroth’s endless demands?

Never mind that, he was so close as he shuffled across the bed.

Finally, he was in arms reach. He leaned forward, his red hair falling upon the blonde’s bare abdomen as he collected the cadets cock in his fingers. 

It would only take a few squeezes to bring this thing to life. 

A few seconds later Reno was proven correct. 

It was action time.

He twirled his tongue around the boy’s tip before taking his shaft in his mouth. 

Damn this was perfect. If he didn't already have his mouth full he would thank Sephy for the diversion. 

He took the blonde deeper and deeper until he could feel his tip against the back of his throat.

“Agh,” Cloud moaned in his sleep. 

“What was that?” Sephiroth's eyes darted towards the origin of the noise within an instant. 

Crap.

Reno instantly ceased his movements. He couldn't afford to rouse the blonde into blissful ecstasy with the threat of Sephiroth hanging over him.

Why didn’t he think of this scenario before?

“Damn it Reno!” Zack muttered under his breath, though his expression suggested that he instantly regretted the words as they left his mouth.

“Reno?” Within a second Sephiroth had discarded Zack in favour of investigating this unforeseen turn of events.

The general wasted no time striding over to the bed before yanking off all the blankets in one foul swoop.

Fuck.

Reno still had Cloud’s cock buried down his throat as his eyes trailed up the tall, foreboding figure at the end of the bed. He needed to wipe the look of trepidation from his face but he feared it was too late.

“Are you helping yourself to something that doesn't belong to you Reno?”

The redhead allowed the blonde’s cock to fall from his lips.

“Last time I checked he wasn’t your toy. But he sure does feel like one.” Reno winked before trailing his tongue up the blonde’s cock from base to tip.

“Well he is my toy.” Sephiroth was blunt in his approach as he now stood menacingly over the bed.

“What? No, he’s not yours!” This time it was Zack’s voice and he was not impressed. 

“Or yours!” His gaze returned to Reno.

“Then whose is he? Yours Zack?” The redhead goaded as he watched the dark haired soldier rise to his feet before turning to face them.

Yes. Reno liked this angle also.

Hmm… Now which did he like more…

The front or the back…

Zack opened his mouth to answer, just as the door came flying open. 

Shit.

He was still naked.

Not to mention standing right in front of the door.

Zack turned his head to peer cautiously over his shoulder, bracing himself for the worst.

Rude stood in the doorway, his eyes falling upon Zack’s bare behind.

Shit.

At least it was only Rude.

“Sorry Rude!” Zack chuckled, yet made no attempt to cover himself up.

Rude’s eyes turned to his partner in crime, who was equally naked. 

Why was he not surprised?

Rude shook his head. He knew better than to ask what was going on here.

“Rufus has been trying to get a hold of you, General.” The more composed Turk stated matter of factually as he pressed the bridge of his sunglasses further up his nose.

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

“I’ll wait outside.” Rude added before quickly leaving, making sure to close the door behind him.  

Chapter 14

“And on that note I best be getting back to Midgar.” Zack rose to his feet as his eyes danced across the room, desperately trying to locate his clothes. 

He soon spotted half of them, but they were on the other side of Sephiroth. 

Maybe not. 

The general was scary when he got like this. 

Not that walking out of the inn completely naked was an option either. 

Or was it? 

Reno turned to the blonde next to him. 

How was he still asleep, even after all that? Maybe he was dead.

Reno’s eyes widened in sudden horror as he shook the blonde vigorously on the arm.

“Don't touch my property.” Sephiroth commanded, yet his eyes remained fixed upon Zack.

How did the silver haired general even see him touching Cloud? Did he have eyes in the back of his head?

“Reno, could you pass me my clothes?” Zack put on his sweetest voice as he forced a grin across his lips. Perhaps doing so would disguise the nervousness he felt as Sephiroth bore holes in him with his eyes.

“Sorry I can't reach them.” The redhead was ever so helpful as he lay there, staring at the blonde as though he were a piece of steak, just waiting to be devoured. Reno didn't even bother to turn to face the first class soldier. In fact, he didn't even bother looking for where the man’s clothes actually were, let alone if it were possible to reach them. 

Though he always seemed to be in reach of Cloud he noticed. 

Great… 

Reno, helpful as ever. Or maybe he was just enjoying the view of Zack’s bare body a little too much.

It wasn't as though the first class soldier didn't feel uncomfortable enough standing in front of the great General with his cock out. 

“What's wrong Zackary? You're not scared of me, are you?!” Sephiroth growled at the second like a starving, irate dog. 

“No, of course not.” Now he just needed to say it like he meant it. 

Sephiroth stepped closer to his second, though Zack didn't think it was possible to get closer but apparently it was. 

“Go wait in the corridor.” Sephiroth commanded. 

“But Seph I'm naked!” Zack whined like an insolent child. 

“I don't know what you're complaining about, you look better without your clothes, now go.” 

Zack wasn't sure the village would agree with him about that as he made slowly for the door. Perhaps he was hoping that somewhere between leaving Sephiroth and reaching the door handle, the general would change his mind. 

“Reno will bring your clothes out to the helicopter.” 

“The helicopter?! Don’t you mean the hallway?!”

“No.” 

Not to mention Zack’s faith in Reno was marginal at best. 

“Quit your yammering and get going.” Sephiroth waved the dark hair soldier away impatiently as he made for Cloud. 

His pride of place. 

Zack had never walked so slowly in his entire life as he made for the door. Maybe if he took long enough, Sephiroth might be finished and he could grab his clothes. 

“Today Zackary.”

The dark haired soldier took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding out of the room.

Rude leaned against the opposing wall as his gaze darted toward the naked Soldier before him. The Turk pushed his sunglasses further up his nose with his index finger. This was hardly a spectacle he wanted to miss. 

“Uh, Rude.” Zack began as he forced a smile to his lips, pretending that he wasn’t standing there completely naked. 

“Zack.” The Turk acknowledged the Soldier curtly. 

“So, uh, where is the helicopter?”

Rude pointed out the nearby window.

“Out there, those stairs should take you there.”

“Thanks!” Zack nodded before striding at a faster pace than usual away from the Turk. 

The soldier couldn't help but hesitate as he crept down the stairs, crossing his fingers that he wouldn’t stumble upon any of the villagers.

Though, even as he thought that, he knew it was impossible.

Ugh screw it! 

If he was going to do this, he might as well go hard or go home.

Even though he was going home anyway.

Zack stood up straight and tall before heading straight for the front door of the inn. 

 

*~.~*

 

“Reno, shoo.” Sephiroth nodded his head towards the door, addressing the Turk as though he were some kind of dog.

Which probably wasn’t far from the truth… 

“Um, excuse me…” The redhead annunciated, accentuating his supposed annoyance at being treated like he had just won last prize in a beauty contest.

That is Sephiroth’s contest. 

“Out! Now!” The silver haired man growled, as a certain hunger seemed to be consuming him.

“Ouch.” Reno grimaced slightly, not bothering to hide just how put out the General was making him feel. 

At least he wasn’t the first one to be kicked out, guess that makes Zack the loser.

The redhead perked up a bit at this as he flew out of bed. He certainly didn't think he would be utilising his incredible Turk speed for this scenario as he grabbed his clothes before tearing them on. 

At least the General gave him the opportunity to actually get dressed. 

Not like he did with Zack.

Speaking of which, he better get those clothes.

“Reno! Out!” Sephiroth growled as the redhead barely pulled his trousers up.

“I’m going! I’m going! Geez!”

“And take these.” Sephiroth grabbed a bundle of clothing before tossing them at the Turk.

Reno bolted for the door in his dishevelled state before allowing it to slam behind him. 

Rude was eagerly waiting as act two took place right before his eyes. Reno spotted his partner instantly before forcing himself into a more composed state.

“Howdy partner.”

“Zack’s headed to the helicopter.”

“Really?!” Reno darted for the nearest window, his eyes peering down at the helicopter.

Sure enough, Zack was leaning with his back against the side of the aircraft, his arms folded over his chest.

And yes, he was indeed naked.

“Oh gaia! I can't believe he actually did it!” 

 

*~.~*

 

Cloud opened his eyes at all the ruckus.

What was going on?

The blonde glanced around the room, only to quickly realise that everyone was gone. That is, everyone except one silver haired general.

“Sephiroth?” 

The General was perhaps the last person the blonde expected to see in his bedroom as he sat bolt upright. 

“Where are the others?”

“Never you mind about them.” Sephiroth whispered, as though he were soothing an upset child.

“I thought you and I could spend some time together before we head back to Midgar.” Sephiroth smiled warmly as he climbed on top of the blonde before leaning forward until their lips were mere inches apart. 

Sephiroth pressed his lips to the blonde's, who offered up little resistance as the General slid his fingers underneath the blanket.

“You're naked.” Sephiroth stated with a smile that suggested all his birthday’s had come at once. 

Cloud nodded as words seemed to be evading his lips.

“Good.” Sephiroth smiled as an air of excitement exuded itself on his face.

That was until a certain thought ran through his head. A question that was so glaringly obvious, he didn't know why he hadn't already asked it.

“Why were the three of you in bed together? Naked?” Sephiroth's voice suddenly adopted a gruff, agitated tone.

“Um, well…” The truth was, Cloud didn't have a good answer. He didn't know why he decided that getting naked and in bed with a soldier and a turk was a good idea.

“Did that redheaded jezebel deliver you to orgasm?” Sephiroth growled as though prepared to pursue the Turk halfway to hell to make him pay.

“No.” Cloud shook his head without hesitation, wondering why the General was asking him such a specific question. Even if Reno had, the answer still would have been a resounding ‘no’.

“Good.” Sephiroth seemed at ease once more.

A knock on the door stirred another bout of irritation in Sephiroth's eyes.

“What now?!”

“Sir, we need to leave.” Rude stated through the door as Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

“We can finish this later.”

 

*~.~*

 

Zack climbed into the back of the helicopter, the sooner they left, the better. He was quickly followed by Cloud and finally Sephiroth.

Reno climbed into the front, taking his place next to Rude at the controls.

“Well I'm mad at you Seph.” Zack crossed his arms in a huff before making a point of turning away from the general.

“And you.” His eyes fell upon the redheaded Turk before glancing out the helicopter window.

This was going to be a long ride back to Midgar.

“Hey! What are you getting mad at me for? I gave you your clothes back!” Reno raised his arms defensively.

“Half my clothes.” Zack pointed at his own bare upper body.

“And only after the whole village had seen my naked ass.”

“Well I'm not complaining.” Zack expected such a lewd comment to come from Reno's lips, only it hadn't. Nor had it come from Sephiroth.

But then…

Zack’s eyes turned full circle before landing upon the source. 

Cloud.

“Spikey!?” Zack was aghast and he made no effort to hide this fact.

“See! Now look at what you've done! You're ruining Cloud’s innocence!”

“He's made to be ruined.” Sephiroth's hunger had returned with a vengeance.

“What? No he’s not!” Zack whined, unable to comprehend the General’s attitude as he yanked his blonde friend closer to himself, lest he get devoured. Zack tilted his head up in a huff. 

Reno let out a barely audible chuckle as he not so much glanced at but full on stared at the half naked soldier.

“What are you looking at?” Zack raised an eyebrow at the Turk.

“You know what I’m looking at.” A smile tugged at the corner’s of Reno’s lips as his gaze refused to falter.

“Shouldn't you be flying this thing?”

“Meh,” Reno waved a hand dismissively at the controls as his tongue ran hungrily along his bottom lip.

“Oh but Zack, how can I concentrate when I have this much regret?”

“Regret about what?” 

Zack suddenly got the feeling that perhaps he shouldn’t have asked

Reno glanced down to Zack’s groin before meeting his gaze once more.

“Giving you your clothes back.”

 

Chapter 15

Well this had to be a first.

This was the longest Zack had ever gone without speaking to him.

He didn't know whether to rejoice or savour the moment.

Sephiroth glanced over at his second in command, who sat at his own desk with his arms crossed over his chest as though he were in a right huff.

“What's the matter Zackary?” Sephiroth sighed, not bothering to extract the boredom from his words before expelling them from his lips.

“Nothing.” The dark haired soldier spat as he turned away from the General.

Oh here we go.

“Is this about what happened in Nibelheim?” Sephiroth surmised, though it didn't exactly take a genius to work that out.

Zack remained silent as he continued to face away from the General.

“Or is this about Cloud? Reno perhaps?”

“It's about you treating me like a piece of meat!” Zack relented, spreading his arms out wide, accidentally knocking off what limited paperwork lurked on his desk in the process.

“Is that really all that's bothering you Zack?” Sephiroth sighed as he watched countless A4 pieces of paper scatter all over the ground.

Zack better pick those up.

It was hard for the General to take his second seriously when he got like this. 

“No.”

Sephiroth took a deep breath as though he were about to climb the summit of Mt Zackary Fair.

“Then what?”

“Am I your last choice?” Zack stated suddenly, as though deciding that if he didn't just spit the words out, they would never come out.

The General seemed taken aback by the words of his second in command.

“What do you mean?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as genuine curiosity lurked in his emerald eyes.

“You play with Cloud and Reno but only decided I was mildly interesting last night.”

“Oh, I see.” Something told Sephiroth he still wasn't at the summit.

“For the record Zack, I have always found you interesting.”

“Really?” Zack perked up like a puppy dog, seemingly forgetting that he was supposed to be in a bad mood.

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“Since I had lunch with you and Cadet Strife.”

“Really? That was ages ago!”

“It wasn’t that long ago.”

“So why didn't you put the moves on me then?”

“Because I saw Cloud.” Sephiroth froze, suddenly realising what he had inadvertently said.

A silence descended over the office.

Shit.

Was Zack going to remember to be in a bad mood again?

“So I’m not first choice, but not last either…?” Zack appeared to be thinking aloud and Sephiroth wasn't entirely sure if his second warranted a response.

“So I’m sloppy seconds then?” Zack screwed up his face at the prospect.

“Oh for Gaia’s sake Zackary.” Sephiroth tossed his pen at the surface of his desk, giving the second in command a fright.

“At least you're not Reno.” The General sighed, damn Zack could be bloody immature sometimes.

“Why?”

“He’s my last choice.”

“Why is Reno your last choice?”

“Because he's not here.”

“Cloud’s not here either.”

“Yeah well...” Sephiroth began before deciding it was probably better not to finish that sentence.

“Where is Reno anyway?”

“Who knows, I haven't seen him since we got back from the mission.” Sephiroth waved his hand dismissively.

It wasn’t like Reno to adopt a low profile.

The only thing more unnerving than a Reno you could see, was a Reno you couldn’t!

Where was he?

Zack’s mind shuffled through every likely possibility, his apartment, the cadet’s shower block, the cafeteria, the cadet’s shower block, the Turk’s office, the cadet’s shower block.

“Umm… I’m gonna go find Reno.”

“Fine. But pick up all that paper first.” Sephiroth waved away his second, not bothering to look up from his ever growing mountain of paperwork. 

 

*~.~*

 

Reno’s eyes wandered as far as his conscience would allow.

His lips smirked at the limitless potential.

Yet, even as his eyes traced naked cadet after naked cadet, nothing on offer seemed to appeal to him.

Damn.

He must be growing up.

Maturing like a fine wine.

No.

That wasn’t it.

He didn't want small fry. He wanted a choking hazard.

“Ugh,” Reno groaned as he pushed himself off the wet shower block wall.

He turned around without looking, walking straight into something hard.

Or rather, someone hard.

Reno’s heart suddenly pounded in his chest.

Oh fuck, he couldnt be caught perving on cadets, you know, again.

Wait…

Something about those hips looked familiar.

His eyes traced the man’s torso before arriving at his face.

“Oh thank Gaia it's just you.” Reno made no effort to disguise his relief as he pushed past Zack.

“I gotta get out of here.” Reno added, fanning his face with his hand, as though the act would actually have an effect on cooling the inferno raging inside of him.

“Where are you going?”

“To take care of something.”

Zack didn’t need to ask to know exactly what the redhead was referring to.

“You want a hand with that?” Zack smirked, his eyes tracing the redhead’s lushious locks and defined cheekbones.

Why did Sephiroth relegate him to the bottom of his list of desirables? With features like that, he should be right at the very top. 

But wait…

That would relegate himself to the bottom of the list.

Nevermind!

“You know I would never say no to you Zack.”

 

*~.~*

 

Damn it.

Sephiroth was sick of all this endless paperwork as he tossed his pen to the side, not caring as it rolled right off the side of his desk and onto the floor. He rotated his wrist, as though doing so would alleviate the onset of cramp.

He would rather be using his wrist to wield swords.

And not just Masamune.

Damn.

He fell back in his seat. How good would it be to have Cloud’s lips around his cock right about now?

No, Cloud was far too innocent, far too precious for casual office sex.

That would be Zack's role, if he ever got around to actually pounding his second. Then again, he could be opening a can of worms if he were to start that kind of relationship with Zack. He seemed easily offended, sensitive even, a trait which simply would not do.

At least Reno didn’t give a fuck.

Zack had feelings.

The General sighed.

Damn he wanted to see the blonde cadet right now.

Sephiroth pulled out his phone before remembering that he was missing one crucial piece of information.

Cloud’s phone number.

“Ugh!” Sephiroth groaned as his phone joined the pen on the floor.

He would have to ask Zack for it. 

Good luck getting that out of his second.

 

*~.~*

 

“Ngh! Reno! Damn you're so good!” Zack cried out as he grasped the redhead by the hair.

“Well, yeah.” Reno gazed up at the soldier, as though questioning why Zack would even be surprised by his ability to drive men crazy.

“Sephiroth doesn’t know what he's talking about, you deserve first, not last.” Zack whimpered as the waves of his orgasm subsided.

“Wait, what? Last?!” Reno allowed Zack’s cock to fall from his lips as he screwed up his face like a paper bag.

Zack gasped, covering his mouth suddenly with his hand, as though the action would miraculously retract his words.

It was too late for that.

“Fucking last?!” Reno rose to his feet before pacing his apartment.

Crap, crap, crap!

Zack winced, there had to be a way to fix this!

“Don’t worry, I’m sloppy seconds!”

“And you're okay with that?” Reno had done nothing to fix the screwed up expression plastered all over his face as he peered into Zack’s orbs.

“Well… No, not really.” Now that Zack really thought about it, it wasn't great was it?

Still better than last though.

Chapter 16

“What are you doing Zack?” Sephiroth growled, no longer able to hide his agitation at Zack’s apparent disorganisation.

“Hey Seph, have you seen my phone?” Zack asked as he pulled open the same desk drawer for the third time before rummaging through Gaia knows how many candy wrappers.

“Why would I have seen your phone?” 

“I can't find it anywhere!” Zack whined as he fell back in his seat, succumbing to apparent defeat. 

“Maybe I left it in Reno’s apartment.” Zack tapped his index finger against his chin, as though hoping it would spark some inkling of his awful memory.

Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he scribbled his signature on a memorandum regarding Midgar Infrastructure. 

Zack slammed his drawer shut as the candy wrappers spewed out all over the floor.

An action that instantly caught Sephiroth’s obsessive eye.

Mess.

In his office.

“Seeeeeph!” Zack put on his sweetest voice and one he knew always wrangled him what he wanted.

“What?” The General beheld his second with great suspicion, as though the man were a tornado and Sephiroth stood in the path of its destruction.

“Can you call my phone? Pleeeeease?”

“Ugh.” Sephiroth sighed, not bothering to mask the annoyance in his emerald eyes as he fished his phone out from his pocket.

He had just started searching for Zack’s number in his contacts folder when the doors to the office suddenly flung open.

“Hey! I got a bone to pick with you!” Reno screwed up his face as he bowled into the General’s office. 

He headed straight for Sephiroth’s desk.

Crap.

“Well, see ya!” Zack rose to his feet as he prepared to vacate the office.

“Sit!” Sephiroth’s eyes were on the Turk, but even Zack knew the words were directed at him.

Damn it.

Sephiroth sure knew how to make Zack feel like a dog.

Zack’s eyes darted between the Great General and the redheaded intruder, as though deciding whether making a break for it was still his best option.

Reno tossed something onto Zack’s desk, not taking his eyes off of the General in the process.

“My phone!” Zack rejoiced as he reached for the device.

“Now I can text Spikey!” The soldier grinned as he started texting out a message.

Sephiroth’s eyes darted to his second’s phone and the irritatingly incessant noise the buttons were making.

He had to get that damn number.

“You wouldn’t believe where I found it.” Reno paused his tirade on the General to tell Zack this crucial piece of information. 

“Where?”

“In the toilet.”

“Oh yuck!” Zack instinctively tossed the phone back onto the desk.

“Why was it in there?” Zack screwed up his face as his eyes returned to the redhead.

“Why are you asking me? It’s your phone. It must have fallen out of your pocket after we cleaned up in the shower.”

“You cleaned your shower together?” Sephiroth found it difficult to believe either Zack or Reno would actively engage in any kind of housework.

“No, he means we fucked in it.” Zack stated casually as he pulled out a pair of gloves from  his drawer before pulling them on.

Sephiroth shook his head. 

It's as he suspected.

“Eww, eww, eww! Why didn't you tell me before I touched it in the first place?” Zack collected his phone in his now gloved fingers.

Reno eyed the dark haired soldier. He was just too easy.

There was no way he would have touched it himself if it actually had been in the toilet.

Why was he here again?

Oh yeah!

“Hey! I was talking to you!” Reno summoned the General’s attention back upon himself.

“What is it Reno?”

“Last? Last!”

“Oh Gaia.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes as he braced himself for the redhead’s fury.

Zack was gonna pay for this later, after all, it was no doubt because of his second, that he was incurring the wrath of Reno right now.

“Uh, I gotta go check on Spikey!” Zack announced, taking a suspiciously long time to expel the words. A telltale sign that he was making them up.

“Oh no you don’t!” Sephiroth pointed at his second, but his eyes never left the redhead.

“I only said you were last because you weren’t here.” Sephiroth tried to infuse his words with as much sincerity as his demeanour would allow.

“Rest assured if Zack were not here, he would be ‘last’”.

Reno seemed to ponder over the General’s words, so did Zack.

“Wait? What?!” Zack suddenly sat up at the somewhat insulting words.

Fuck.

Just then, Sephiroth felt his phone ring in his pocket.

Thank Gaia.

He answered the device so quickly, that he didn't even check who was calling him.

“Yes,”

The General was serious.

Too serious.

Reno was sure he could hear Tseng’s voice on the other end of the receiver.

“Is Reno there?” Tseng questioned the General, getting straight to the point of the phone call.

Sephiroth’s eyes darted between Reno and Zack, as though trying to decide whether to be truthful.

“No.”

“Strange. I tracked his phone to your office. Is Zack there then?”

Why did Tseng want Zack?

Who cares. 

This was perfect timing.

“I’ll send him over.”

Sephiroth hung up before discarding his phone to the surface of his desk, as though he couldn't wait to be rid of it.

“Zack, go see Tseng.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m sure he’ll apprise you of the situation.”

“What? You didn’t ask?”

“Go.” The General’s words were final and delivered with a bite so severe, it would put a wyvern to shame.

Zack collected his phone from his desk.

“You won't be needing your phone.” Sephiroth ordered, summoning a puzzled expression to appear on the dark haired soldier’s face.

“How do you know I don't need my phone?”

“Tseng said so.”

“No he didn’t.” Reno raised a puzzled eyebrow before receiving what could only be described as the ultimate death glare from Sephiroth.

“And you’re not supposed to be here.” The General reminded the redhead that he owed him.

“Why did you lie about my whereabouts anyway?” 

“Because while you're here, I require your assistance. Hurry up Zack!” Sephiroth was growing agitated as a distinct hunger began to take hold of his body. His irritation was only compounded by the fact that his second in command appeared to be taking an obscene amount of time to vacate the room.

Deliberate?

No doubt.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Zack raised his arms defensively as he strode towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder, regarding the remaining duo with a suspicion he didn't bother to disguise.

“Ah, so lucky last but first to be called in an emergency aye.” Reno eyed the General as though he better have a good explanation for this.

“Good.” Sephiroth sighed, apparently ignoring the Turk as he suddenly darted out from behind his desk.

Reno recoiled as he watched the General move faster than the speed of light, straight towards Zack’s desk.

He grabbed Zack’s phone before fossicking through his contacts list.

“What are you doing?”

“You see nothing.”

Even Reno knew better than to push the General for an answer.

Especially when the answer was evident to a more discerning Turk, such as himself.

“I can't see Cloud on here.”

“Try looking under ‘Spikey’.”

It was sound advice.

Chapter 17

 

“Ah, good, you're here Zack.” Tseng announced as he rose from behind his desk.

“Hey Tseng! Seph said you needed me.”

“I need you to help me move this bookcase.” He pointed to a small piece of furniture on the other side of his office.

“What? Is that it?” Zack screwed up his face, as though wondering why the Head of the Turk’s couldn’t just move it himself.

Maybe Sephiroth was right, maybe he wouldn’t need his phone after all.

“Seeing as you are here, I wondered if I could ask you a question?” Tseng began as he leaned over his desk in a serious, yet awkward manner.

“Sure!” Zack forced a smile to his lips, as though doing so would mask the trepidation lurking beneath them.

“Is Reno seeing anyone?”

“Like everyone.” Zack laughed, as though the Turk must have already known the answer and meant the question as a joke. 

His laughter was met with silence.

A silence that grew more awkward with every passing second.

“Why?” Zack severed the lull with a forcefulness that surprised even himself.

“Just wondering.”

 

*~.~*

 

Cloud sat in materia class.

It felt so boring after being on a real life mission, even though he didn't actually do anything on it. Zack did everything.

The blonde sighed as he leaned his elbow on the table before resting his cheek in the palm of his hand.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

It was probably Zack.

Should he check it?

He wasn't exactly supposed to be checking his phone in class, but if he was careful enough, he might just be able to pull it off.

It wasn’t as though he didn't already know the content of the next three lessons.

10:46am Unknown number

 

Cloud,

I have taken the liberty of cancelling your evening classes. I thought we could pick up where we left off.

Meet me outside the entrance to Hojo’s lab at 6pm.

Who was this?

Well…

He knew it wasn’t Zack because the message came from an unknown number.

Reno maybe? But how would he have gotten his number?

Not to mention why he would want to meet him outside Hojo’s lab?

Cloud stared at the screen, as though the answer to all of his questions would just magically appear in front of him.

“Cadet Strife, you should know better than to have your phone out in class.” The teacher stood at his desk, towering over Cloud before swiping the device straight out of the blonde’s grasp.

Damn it.

Having his phone confiscated would be annoying, but he could live with it.

What he couldn’t live with was when his teacher started reading the message out to the entire class.

Fuck.

“Ooo, Strife has a date!” 

“Who do you reckon it is?”

“Have you got a secret girlfriend Strife?”

“Who would want to go out with a wimpy shrimp like you?”

The taunts were endless.

Cloud closed his eyes, he could feel the heat rising in his pale cheeks. He grimaced, trying to ignore the barrage of questions being fired at him. The blonde covered his face with his hands, as though doing so would make all of his classmates and inconsiderate teacher vanish into thin air.

 

*~.~*

 

Lunch time.

Finally.

“How's my favourite Soldier wannabe today?” Zack smiled generously as he sat down next to Cloud, slapping him on the back in the process, which caused the blonde’s mouthful to jolt back into his windpipe.

For Gaia’s sake Zack.

“You gotta eat a bit more slowly there Spikey!” Zack laughed as Cloud coughed the mouthful back out onto the plate.

Yuck.

Thanks Zack.

Cloud resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Anything interesting happen this morning?” Zack cast his line as though fishing for potential gossip.

“Well, I did get a weird message in Materia class today.” Cloud began, wondering if he shouldn’t have kept this morsel to himself. He would have too, if his teacher hadn’t lit the fuse to what was destined to become a monumentally, scandalous timebomb. Not to mention that he still didn’t know who exactly had sent him that message.

“What did it say, show me!”

“I can’t, the teacher confiscated my phone.”

“Well, can you remember what it said?”

Of course he could remember what it said, what did Zack think, that he had brain damage?

 

*~.~*

 

“Hey Seph…?”

“Hmm…” The General acknowledged Zack’s presence but didn't bother to look up from reading the latest mission report from Wutai.

“Did you by any chance message Cloud this morning?” The second in command slumped down in his seat, staring at his copy of Chocobo Tuesday magazine as it sat precariously on his desk.

His eyes drifted to the General as he sat buried behind a tower of paperwork. Zack leaned over in his seat as he attempted to spot the silver haired General. He soon decided his magazine was more interesting as he collected it in his fingers. 

A silence fell between them.

It went on for so long that Zack wasn’t sure Sephiroth had heard him.

“Why?” Sephiroth finally answered as he tossed the mission report in his drawer. 

“He got a strange text telling him to meet him for a date outside Hojo’s lab this evening.”

Now that Sephiroth thought about it, he didn’t actually put his name anywhere in the message.

“It's not where I would have picked for a date. It’s not exactly romantic is it?” Zack cajoled as he flicked through the pages of his new magazine.

Now that Sephiroth thought about it, it was quite possibly the worst place.

Why had he suggested there?

Because he had an appointment with Hojo beforehand, that's why.

Convenience.

Not to mention, managing his time effectively.

“Are you actually reading that Zackary?” Sephiroth did his best to hold his form as he eyed the Chocobo magazine as though it were a children’s book.

“What? Read?” The second screwed up his face as though the General had just sworn at him.

“I just get it for all the pictures of cute chocobos.”

Sephiroth took a deep breath, stared intently at his desk before rolling his eyes.

“And Spikey likes to read it after me.” Zack added, as though feeling the need to justify his odd choice of magazine.

He wasn't the only weirdo in the building.

“Did you know there's a ranch just outside of Mideel that has bred a shiny purple chocobo?! That's like, my favourite colour!” Zack sat up excitedly as he placed his half looked at magazine back down on his desk.

“I have to go see it!”

Sephiroth withdrew his phone from his pocket before opening up a new message screen.

He wrote out the five words, ‘it’s Sephiroth by the way’ before hitting the send button.

“Who are you messaging?”

“The Midgar Insane Asylum.”

“The Asylum? Why?”

“To keep the chocobo’s safe.” Sephiroth stated matter of factly, as though he were answering the President’s questions at a boardroom meeting.

“Safe? From who?”

“You!”

 

Chapter 18

“That's it!” Zack slammed his fist down onto his desk suddenly as excitement brewed in his eyes.

“What?” Sephiroth growled, his second’s sudden outburst had caused his pen to venture outside the confines of his signature box.

Imperfection.

Now he would have to get the entire document reprinted.

Thank you Zackary.

“I’m going to take Spikey to Mideel this weekend!”

“You're not really going to see that bloody chocobo, are you?” The General sighed as he slammed his pen down on his desk. It was an act born of frustration and they both knew it.

“Uh…” Zack hesitated as he struggled to think about what else Mideel had to offer, besides the chocobo ranch.

“No! Uh, I’m going to go check out the hot springs!”

Yeah that works.

“Hot Springs?” Sephiroth repeated, as though seeing how the words tasted on his own lips. The General raised a dubious eyebrow at the prospect of an adventure to Mideel, it had been a while. 

Besides, it’s not as though he didn’t know that Zackary was just making that last bit up. 

Really.

How dumb did his second think he was?

“Yeah!” The dark haired man reiterated, not bothering to exercise any decorum as he waved his arms excitedly in the air.

“You can’t go Zackary.” Sephiroth stately flatly, if for no other reason than to witness the man’s overenthusiasm evaporate right before his very eyes.

It was that look that got him out of bed in the mornings.

“What? Why not?” The second screwed up his face as he struggled to figure out what exactly the obstacle was.

Was there a mission he’d forgotten about?

It was quite possible, if he were honest with himself.

“Because I’m going to ask him first.” Sephiroth smirked, fishing his phone out of his pocket

before drawing it to his ear.

Gaia, he loved having a direct line to the blonde.

Zack’s jaw fell open as he stared daggers at the General.

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice answered on the other end. Sephiroth screwed up his face as he wondered whether he had put in the correct number.

“I’m after Cadet Cloud Strife, I believe this is his phone?”

“Yes, indeed it is, however, he had his phone confiscated during class.”

“I see.”

“Whom am I speaking with?”

“General Sephiroth.”

“G-General?!” The voice staggered and stumbled over their words.

“Yes, and you had best give back that which does not belong to you.”

“Y-Yes sir!”

Sephiroth hung up before tossing the device back in his pocket. His eyes returned to his paperwork as they avidly avoided those of his second. 

“So…” Zack began, as he drummed his fingers on his desk.

“So what?” The General began, still refusing to look up from his paperwork.

“How did it go?” The dark haired man made no effort to wipe the amused smile from his lips.

“I think you know how it went, Zackary.”

“Well… In that case… I’m gonna ask him first!” The second rose to his feet so fast that he almost knocked his desk over.

“Oh no you don’t!” Sephiroth barked as though he were now a rabid dog.

When it came to speed, Sephiroth took the cake. Except when he had to find his way out from behind his fort of paperwork.

Zack ran out the office door and bolted straight for the elevator. He tapped the summoning button like he was both deranged and on steroids.

“Hurry up!” He growled at the elevator as though it existed solely for his beck and call.

Any second now, he knew he would see Sephiroth’s leather clad form glide toward him at lightning speed.

Mesamune at the ready!

Maybe this was a bad idea…

Maybe he should take the stairs.

Yes!

Stairs!

 

*~.~*

 

Mideel aye?

Reno chuckled as he tossed his headset back onto his desk.

Maybe it was worth getting Zack’s phone tapped after all.

Good thing he had the foresight to ‘borrow’ it after their last encounter.

Now all he had to do was beat them to the punch. He had no doubt he was faster than Zack, but Sephiroth? Not in this lifetime!

Not to mention he had the piloting skills to get Cloud to Mideel, so… He held the ultimate advantage!

“What are you doing Reno?” Tseng stood in front of the redhead’s desk as he gazed down at his subordinate with vast, and well placed suspicion in his eyes.

A headset?

He was clearly eavesdropping on someone.

But who?

He didn't have any current assignments…

What bullshit was Reno going to spin this time?

The redhead’s eyes darted to the clock on his wall.

Almost 5pm.

“Dinner time!” Reno stood from behind his desk before bolting for the door.

The last thing he needed now was an interrogation by Tseng.

 

*~.~*

 

Cloud sat at his usual spot in the cafeteria, relieved that his teacher had finally given him his phone back. Not that he’d had a chance to look at it since sitting down. He had to stuff his face as fast as possible if he was going to meet this mysterious person outside Hojo’s lab at 6pm. 

The blonde had no doubt every other person in his class would be there to witness the spectacle of who his mystery ‘date’ was. 

That is, if it wasn’t outside Hojo’s lab. It was a dangerous place to loiter outside, lest you get inadvertently and unwillingly turned into a test subject.

Perhaps the organiser of this date did have some foresight afterall.

Couldn’t have been Zack then.

Reno?

Maybe?

Cloud pondered the limited possibilities as he sat alone.

“Hey there, blonde bombshell.” Reno winked as he took the seat across from Cloud without seeking prior permission.

Speak of the devil.

Why was Reno here?

“Hey.” Cloud’s eyes darted around the cafeteria, as though afraid everyone had heard Reno’s blatant flirting.

Judging by the fact that all eyes were now on him, yes they had indeed.

Exactly what he was trying to avoid.

Though, it was nice to not have to sit alone for a change.

“So, are you free this weekend?” Reno enquired as he leant forward, his eyes darting between Cloud and his bangers and mash, as though trying to determine which he wanted to consume more.

It was a no brainer, obviously.

“Why?” 

“Did you wanna go to Mideel?”

“What's there?”

“A chocobo ranch. They specialise in breeding rare colour varieties.” Reno smirked, as though he had read the words straight out of Zack’s magazine. The light grew in Cloud’s eyes as the excitement oozed on to his lips.

“Yes!” 

“Alright! We’ll go Saturday morning. Meet me at the Heliport at 9!” Reno rose to his feet as his eyes darted to the door. He knew by now that he had mere seconds at best before the entourage arrived.

“See ya!” Reno farewelled the blonde, and as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone.

Cloud barely had time to shove a spoon of mashed potatoes into his mouth, when there was a sudden ruckus at the entrance. It seemed to be growing louder and louder.

Did he dare turn around?

How could he not?

Just as the cadet glanced over his shoulder, the door to the cafeteria burst open. Sephiroth was in the lead, pursued very closely by a very disheveled and out of breath Zack Fair.

From the looks of it, Cloud was in the direct line of fire.

Oh crap!

Just what he needed, more attention on him.

“Spikey!” Zack yelled out from across the cafeteria, just as Sephiroth’s foot tripped the dark haired soldier up.

“Hey! That's cheating!” Zack growled, just as he face planted the floor, narrowly avoiding a trolley of unwashed dishes.

“You don't win by playing by the rules Zackary. You should know that by now.” Sephiroth glode with a graceful elegance, compared to Zack at least, and was soon at the blonde’s side.

“Cadet, we are going to Mideel this weekend.” Sephiroth spat the words out as though it was a command, not an invitation, just as Zack joined the fray.

“Damn you Seph!” Zack puffed, clearly out of breath as he grasped at the back of Cloud’s chair as though he were about to faint.

Those stairs were a killer.

“I can’t.” Cloud whimpered, his words barely audible as his eyes avoided the General’s

“How come?”

“I’m already going with Reno.”

Cloud wasn’t sure which jaw dropped harder or faster, the General’s or his best friend’s.

Zack’s eyes locked with General’s as a silent language passed between them.

“Reno!!” 

Chapter 19

Reno was a dead man walking and he knew it. Now all he had to do was avoid Sephiroth and Zack until Saturday morning.

Which meant he would be altering the time he ate breakfast, lunch and dinner. Avoiding the cadets shower block at all costs. Damn that one was gonna be hard. Plus he'd have to avoid his office. Well that one would be easy.

It also meant no sex for the foreseeable future.

Damn it.

 

*~.~*

 

Gaia, he hated Hojo that fraction more every time he had to deal with him.

Sephiroth groaned as he stepped into the hallway outside the mad scientist's laboratory.

Thank Gaia that was over.

“Good evening General.” Cloud stood at attention as he saluted the silver haired man.

“You can dispense with the formalities, Cloud.” Sephiroth offered the blonde an endearing smile.

Possibly the only smile he'd delivered that week that embodied any level of sincerity.

Or simply the only smile full stop.

The General leaned forward before pressing his lips to the blonde's supple cheek.

“It's good to see you again, Cloud.”

“You too.” The cadet returned the smile in earnest.

“I thought we might do something a bit different tonight.” Sephiroth suggested, sliding his fingers under the blonde's chin, holding his gaze steady.

“What do you have in mind?”

“There is a showing of Loveless on. I thought you might like to accompany me.”

The General had assumed correctly.

Cloud would accompany the man all the way to hell and back if he so requested.

“Come, the theater isn't far down the road.”

Sephiroth guided the way, which made the entire journey easy. Cloud was used to having to move out of everyone else's way, but now everyone was avoiding him.

Or rather Sephiroth.

Cloud stood awkwardly in the theater reception, wondering what to do with himself as the General bought the tickets.

“Our seats are right at the back.” The silver haired man smirked, as though another plan was hatching in the back of his mind. The General leaned in closely to the blonde, as though he were about to impart a trove of secrets.

“There shouldn't be anyone else around us.” The silver haired man whispered, his hot breath dancing over Cloud’s soft skin.

His words made Cloud wonder, how did the man know that? Had the General bought out the entire back row?

The pair headed into the theater, seamlessly locating their seats before proceeding to occupy them.

“Come, rest your head here.” Sephiroth captured Cloud's neck in a gentle caress before guiding his head towards his chest.

Cloud rested his head against a fusion of bare flesh and the leather caging it in. The General placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's spikey head, which despite it's appearance, was strikingly soft.

Sephiroth then collected the blonde's hand, before intertwining the cadet’s slender fingers between his own.

He raised Cloud’s hand to his lips before planting a kiss on the back of the blonde’s hand.

If anyone were to ask Cloud what was happening on stage, he wouldn't have a clue. The General had summoned the cadet’s complete and undivided attention.

“You appear as delicate as a primrose lily, yet can be as fierce as a behemoth. Your thirst to prove yourself couldn't even be quenched with all the water at the Costa Falls. You are as magnificent and majestic as a Phoenix as it rises from the ashes, blessing life to the world around it.” Sephiroth pressed his lips to Cloud's hand once more.

Sephiroth gazed into the blonde's eyes, losing himself in the cadet’s cerulean orbs.

When did he become such a romantic?

“Cloud Strife, you are as enchanting as…”

“There you are General Sephiroth.” A voice that did not belong to Cloud pierced his eardrum.

Oh for the love of Gaia.

The General sat still, frozen like a picture, as though assuming the words addressing him existed entirely within the realm of his imagination.

Or here's hoping they did.

He felt someone claim the seat next to him.

If he gave them the cold shoulder for long enough, would they eventually leave?

From the corner of his eye, he could tell that whoever it was, they were blonde.

Damn it.

“How many times have you seen this play now, Sephiroth?” The man enquired, as though either bored or he already knew the answer.

“Nine.” The General answered bluntly, making it apparent that he didn't want to be disturbed at the minute.

“You're needed at the office.” 

“I'm a little preoccupied, Rufus.”

“I can see that.”

“If you can see that, then why are you here?”

“You know I wouldn't disturb you if it wasn't something urgent.”

 

*~.~*

 

Zack was back at his desk. Though, why he was here when it was dark outside was a mystery to him.

What was the time?

Zack squinted at the clock on the wall. 

Why was he sitting here in the dark for anyway?

10pm?!

Wow.

At the office this late at night.

Why?

Because Spikey was on that mystery date and Sephiroth was on the hunt and Reno had gone AWOL for obvious reasons.

Was that really all the friends he had? Just those three?

He could have sworn he had more.

No. 

Focus!

He just had to finish the latest chocobo origami that came with his magazine.

Though, he could just do it in the comfort of his apartment.

He glanced at the image of what the completed model was supposed to look like, before glancing at what amounted to a screwed up ball of paper on his desk.

“Ugh!” Zack groaned as the temptation to flick everything off his desk and into the bin possessed him.

“What's the matter Zackary?” Sephiroth stated matter of factly as he strode into the office.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” The General stated as his emerald eyes darted between his second's face, the scrunched up ball of paper on his desk and the picture of a smiling chocobo that Zack had stuck carelessly on the wall behind him.

It wasn't even hung straight.

“Just work.”

“That hardly counts as work, Zackary.”

“It feels like work.” The dark haired man groaned as his eyes drilled holes into the mess in front of him, as though expecting it to magically turn into the chocobo it was supposed to be.

“And why are all the lights off?” Sephiroth’s eyes darted around the room before pressing the closest switch with the tip of his Masamune.

The General had barely sat down when his phone rang.

“What now?” Sephiroth groaned as he yanked the phone from his pocket before glancing at the screen, as though trying to decide whether to ignore it or not.

“Tseng, what is it?” The silver haired man decided answering was the best option.

“Are you aware that Reno has booked a helicopter for Saturday morning?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“I thought you might have known why.”

“The last time I checked, Reno reported to you, not me.”  The agitation was growing in the General's voice, so much so that it had even summoned Zack's attention away from his chocobo mess.

“His listed destination is Mideel, why would he go there?” Tseng carried on, as though he hadn't heard the General’s last statement.

“Why don't you ask him yourself?” Sephiroth suggested bluntly, as though it were the most obvious course of action.

“I would if I could find him.” Tseng confessed as he sighed into the phone.

“Have you tried the cadets shower block?” Zack chimed up as he stuck a photo of the shiny purple chocobo from his magazine next to the smiling chocobo on the wall.

The new photo hung at an equally crooked angle.

“Yes.” Tseng stated mundanely, as though it were the first place he would look.

“He's going on a date, if you must know.” Sephiroth growled into the phone.

He didn't exactly have time for this. Not to mention that this was the second time today that Reno had seriously annoyed him.

“With who?” Tseng made no effort to disguise the intrigue in his voice.

“Well, he won't be going at all if I get my hands around his throat first.” The General spat before pressing the ‘end call’ button and tossing his phone on his desk.

“Are you alright, Seph? What's the matter?”

The General turned to glare at his second.

“You know exactly what's wrong Zackary.”

Sephiroth growled as though he had become the fiends he was hired to slaughter.

Zack stared at him blankly.

“That elusive redheaded Turk is the matter.” Sephiroth's eyes narrowed upon the second.

“Zackary, go find Reno and bring him to me. A punishment is in order.” A glint of excitement flashed across the General's emerald eyes.

He could do with a suckjob and Reno was the best at it.

“But I've been looking for him ever since dinner and I can't find him anywhere.” The dark haired man whined.

“Well, in that case, get me the upcoming flight schedule, particularly for those flights departing on Saturday morning for Mideel.”

“Why?”

“Because I have a helicopter to gate crash Zack, that's why.

“Do you like my chocobo?” Zack grinned like an idiot as he held the screwed up ball in the air.

“No.”

 

Chapter 20

Why did he have to do it?

“Ugh!” Zack groaned as he traipsed his way up to Helo operations HQ.

Would there even be anyone there at this stupid hour?

How was he supposed to work on his chocobo origami when he had to run all these errands for the General? 

“Ugh Seph is so lazy sometimes…” The second grumbled as he pushed the door open.

The room was full, yet silent and from what he could tell, a meeting was taking place.

Rufus, Tseng, Heidegger, Reeve and Scarlet. This must be important.

Where was his invite?

Crap!

Hopefully they didn't hear his comment about Seph.

“What are you doing here Zack?” Rufus raised his eyes off his report for but a moment to gauge the soldier's reaction.

“I'm just getting some flight schedules for the General.”

“That wouldn't have anything to do with Reno, would it?” Tseng eyed the soldier with dubious anticipation.

“What about Reno? I haven't seen him all day.” Rufus sighed as though bored, before sitting up straighter in his chair

“No one has seen Reno for a while, I hope he hasn't died.” Reeve chimed up, as a concerned expression plastered itself across his face.

“Died?!” That prospect hadn't even crossed Zack's mind, until now.

Thanks Reeve.

“Bet it was Seph.” Zack muttered as he headed over to the flight board before yanking the schedule down and putting it in his pocket.

“If that's all, Zack?” Rufus enquired, though his eyes were now back on the report in his fingers.

“Ugh, yeah!” Zack nodded, knowing when he had been dismissed.

The second hastily vacated the room.

“Oh man! What if Seph did actually kill him?! He did piss him off a lot today…” Zack thought aloud to no one but himself as he traipsed down the hallway, back to his office.

“Have you heard the latest Seph?” Zack grinned as he entered the room.

“Latest what?” Sometimes he wished Zack would just get to the point already.

“The latest rumor?” The second provoked, knowing full well that the General would have no idea.

“What latest rumor? If it doesn't involve me, then I don't care.” Sephiroth stated bluntly as he filed through page after page of an enormous report.

“Well, it just so happens that it does involve you!” Zack chuckled as he tossed the flight schedule onto the General’s desk.

“Fine, what is it?” Sephiroth’s limited patience was wearing somewhat thin.

“The rumor going around at the moment is that Reno's dead and you killed him.”

“Oh and who started that rumor?” Sephiroth grasped the flight schedule as though if it were alive, then he would have strangled it too.

Zack's eyes darted back and forth from one side of the room to the other.

“They were talking about it in the meeting.” Zack began as he headed for his desk, or rather the refuge it offered.

“What meeting?”

“The one in the Helo ops room with all the Director’s just now. What's that about by the way? Is something going on?”

Sephiroth took a deep breath, as though contemplating whether to impart important information onto his second.

“Wutai has broken the ceasefire by attempting to assassinate the President.”

“What?!” Zack sat up in his seat.

“Okay, your gossip is better than mine.” Zack let out a big sighed, as though conceding defeat.

“Obviously.”

“Hey Seph, do you know what tomorrow is?”

“Friday.”

“Aaand….” Zack urged the General.

“And what? I don't know Zack.” Sephiroth snapped.

“It's the banquet! Don't tell me you forgot?” Zack's jaw fell open, how could Sephiroth possibly forget!

“What banquet?” The General's eyes narrowed upon his second.

“Zackary Fair! It's your job to keep me apprised of social occasions.” Now Sephiroth was truly angry.

“I am.”

“Not the day before! How am I supposed to come up with a believable excuse not to attend?” 

“Oh, it's okay, you don't have to make an excuse, I've already rsvp'd for you.” Zack put his thumb to his chest as though proud of himself.

“Zack! I don't want to go! You know I hate social events!”

“It will be fine! As long as you lose that crankiness by then.”

Sephiroth stared daggers at his second.

“I'm not cranky!”

Zack sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, as though willing himself to remain silent.

How could he make this better?

“It's okay, it's only the executives and a few high ranking officials.”

“Oh great. That's just gonna make it even more insufferable.”

“And then it's Saturday, chocobo day!”

“You're going, are you?” Sephiroth eyed the second dubiously.

“Well yeah! I'll just gate crash the helicopter with you! You can be my backup.”

“No! You're my backup! Your second, I'm first.” Sephiroth growled, slamming his report onto his desk with such force that the pages broke apart and scattered all over the floor.

“See, you are cranky.”

“I'm not cranky!”

“More importantly, who are you taking to the banquet? You have to take a significant other.”

“What? How am I supposed to find someone in less than 24 hours? This is all your fault Zackary.” The General growled as he grabbed his phone, pushed a few buttons before holding the device to his ear.

“Who are you calling?”

“None of your business.”

“You're not calling Spikey are you?”

Sephiroth glared daggers at his second.

“You can't go to the banquet with a cadet.” Zack stated as though aghast that the General had even considered it, before yanking his drawer open.

“And why not?”

“How do you think it would look?” Zack asked as he rummaged around his drawer before yanking out a huge block of chocolate. It was so big that Sephiroth couldn't figure out how exactly it had fitted in the drawer in the first place.

Zack tore the wrapping off before drawing the whole block to his lips.

Surely he wasn't going to eat that whole thing in one go?

Sephiroth stood there, he supposed Zack was right, not that he would ever admit that.

Damn it, Cloud wasn't answering. Then again it was past his bedtime. The General placed his phone back down on his desk.

“I mean, you could still take him but you'd have to disguise him.” Zack held his index finger in the air as though he were some kind of genius.

“How so?”

“Make him dress up as a girl. That's what I'm doing with my date.” Zack grinned as though it were a fact to be proud of.

Sephiroth stood there, as though pondering the legitimacy of his second's idea.

“Then I charge you with making Cloud a beautiful woman.”

“What? Why me?”

“Because it was your idea and I'm still annoyed at you for this whole debacle in the first place.” Sephiroth pointed at the man accusingly.

“Who are you taking by the way?” The General’s eyes narrowed on the dark haired man.

“It's a surprise.”

Zack and surprise in the same sentence. Sounded ominous.

“If you're going with Reno…”

“It's not Reno.” Zack cut the General off, as though very defensive of the fact.

 

*~.~*

 

Reno sat at his desk. He had to make the odd appearance every now and again. Some idiot was spreading a rumor that Sephiroth had murdered him.

“There you are Reno! Where have you been hiding?”

“You know me Tseng! Busy busy!”

Tseng eyed the redhead dubiously as though dying to ask what exactly he was busy with because it clearly wasn't work.

The Head of the Turks leaned over Reno's desk, as though he was about to incite some kind of interrogation. 

“I don't think I need to remind you that the banquet is tonight and your attendance is mandatory.” Tseng stated lowly as though wanting no one else to hear his words, even though there was currently no one else in the office.

“Shit.” 

Damn it. That was a huge flaw in his plan. 

How could he have forgotten about that!

There was no way he was gonna be able to avoid Sephiroth and Zack at the banquet. Now Tseng is telling him that he had to go.

Hmm… Maybe he could just give Sephiroth a gob job and he won't be mad at him any more.

Why did he suspect it was gonna take more than that this time?

“Don't forget, you are also required to bring a significant other.” Tseng added as he remained leaning over the redhead's desk.

“Significant other?” Reno repeated, though more to himself as he wracked his mind for someone to take.

Crap.

His significant others were Seph and Zack. The two people he was trying so avidly to avoid. He couldn't exactly turn around and ask one of them…

Could he?

“Wait, you mean they are still going ahead with it, even though there was an assassination attempt on the President?” Reno began, sitting up in his seat as though he had discovered a way out.

“Yes, they are increasing security.”

“Can I be security?”

“No.”

“Who are you taking then?” Reno's eyes ran up and down the length of the man's body.

“I wondered about taking you, actually.”

“Me?! But you're my boss, how would that look? Aren't those kind of relationships forbidden?”

“Zack has given me an idea about how to get around that little problem.”

Chapter 21

“Spikey, we have a problem!” Zack didn’t bother to disguise the trepidation in his voice as he took the seat across from the blonde. Cloud looked up at his friend dubiously. Zack plus problem equaled…???

Should he start running now?

Zack could have at least given him the decency of a three second head start.

“What? Are you going to tell me that I'm next on Sephiroth's hit list?” 

“You're his favourite! He would never murder you!”

“That's hardly reassuring Zack.” Though, the blonde would be lying if he said he didn’t find the idea of being Sephiroth’s favourite endearing.

“Though, I’m surprised he murdered Reno, his blowjobs were the stuff of legends.” The soldier sighed as though sentimental for days gone by.

“Zack!” Cloud spat, giving the soldier the evil eye as the cafeteria fell silent.

Gaia, he hated how nosey everyone at Shinra was.

Though, Zack being the resident gossip that he was, didn’t exactly help his cause.

“Well, there's this banquet on tonight and your Seph’s date, so I'm gonna dress you up as a gorgeous girl so that no one gets suspicious that you're actually a cadet, otherwise Seph might get in trouble.” Zack spat the words out so fast that they were barely comprehensible.

“Wait, what?” Cloud was sure he must have misheard that entire sentence. Either he or Zack had to have gotten the wrong end of the stick.

Surely.

“Come to my apartment at 5, I've already got your outfit picked out.”

“It's lunchtime Zack! This thing is this evening? Wait, what outfit? Are you seriously going to dress me up as a girl?” Cloud practically squawked, forgetting that he was in the cafeteria, surrounded by his contemporaries.

And currently the only one talking.

“You'll look great Spikey! I promise!” Zack wasn't lying either. He genuinely believed his blonde friend would make a drop dead beautiful girl.

Cloud felt as though his appetite had gone with the wind as he pushed his plate away from himself.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Zack eyed the discarded food as though he were a starving vulture.

Cloud’s face was even paler than normal as he shook his head.

Why did he always attract questionable friends?

 

*~.~*

 

“Remind me, why I am doing this again Zack?” Cloud whined as he pulled a blonde wig on. 

Zack rummaged through a collection of bottles in his bedroom drawer.

“I think this colour will suit you.” The soldier held up a bottle of foundation to the light, as though attempting to get a clearer determination of the colour.

“Why do you have all this makeup?”

Zack tossed the bottle to the blonde before yanking open the next drawer down.

“I think you'll suit either burgundy lipstick, or maybe a pale peach. Yeah! Peach! We'll go for a more natural look.” Zack stated as he continued to rummage through an assortment of lipsticks.

Cloud squeezed out some foundation before applying it to his face.

“Zack, am I doing this right?” 

“Yeah of course you are!” Zack reassured him, despite not actually looking at the blonde as he continued to dig through the contents of his drawer.

“Here it is! Eyeliner! I think I'm just gonna go with black, it will really bring out your eyes.”

Cloud didn't know whether Zack was talking to him or himself as he continued to douse himself with foundation. 

“So Spikey! The banquet starts at 630. I got my date coming over in about half an hour to get ready, so I'll send you off to Seph before then.”

“Who's your date?” Cloud eyed the man dubiously, as though suspecting his best friend was up to something questionable.

“You'll see at the banquet.” The dark haired man reassured his friend with a plastered on smile.

“It's not Reno, is it?”

“No! It's not Reno!” Zack waved his arms out defensively. 

Why did everyone think he was going with Reno?

“Why can't I be here when your date arrives?”

Zack turned to face the blonde, a sly grin crept across his lips as though he were contemplating whether to divulge the gory potentiality. 

“You're too innocent for such things Spikey! You know that!”

 

*~.~*

 

“Coming!” Zack yelled out as he heard the doorbell ring.

He wasted no time as he yanked open the front door.

“It's been a while.”  Vincent leaned against the door frame.

“Too long.” Zack winked as he stood aside, letting the former Turk inside his apartment. 

“I haven't heard from you in months and then out of the blue, you invite me to some kind of banquet.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, I'm a slackass bitch.” Zack grimaced as though doing so would add sincerity to his words.

“Nevermind that, you know what I really came here for.” Vincent winked before grabbing the soldier by the arm in one foul swoop and tossing him against the nearest wall.

He wasted no time as he began prying Zack's belt open.

“You know if we do this now, we are gonna be so late for the banquet!”

“I'm hungry Zack, and not for the banquet.” Vincent breathed into the soldier's ear, as though he were a starving animal before yanking his trousers down to his knees.

“I hope you like it rough.” Vincent growled as he sunk his teeth into the soldier's neck without warning, as though he were a beast claiming his prey.

Did he have a choice?

From where Zack was standing, he was gonna get it hard and fast regardless.

Vincent left Zack’s neck alone for a moment as he fell to his knees. He wasted no time taking the soldier in his lips

“Ngh! Vincent! You're even better than I remembered.” Zack’s eyes were as good as rolled back. 

“You sound surprised.” The ex Turk raised an eyebrow as he sunk his fingers deep into the soldier’s buttocks before squeezing them as though they were indestructible.

“Zack?”

“Hmm?”

Vincent suddenly rose to his feet before looking Zack straight in the eyes.

“I want to be inside you.” 

Zack tilted his head slightly, as though struggling to process the man’s words before feeling himself being dragged by the arm.

The soldier felt himself unceremoniously tossed over the bed as his buttocks remained in the air, as though primed and ready.

At least that's how Vincent interpreted it.

Convenient?

Perhaps.

Zack glanced over his shoulder, not bothering to mask the trepidation in his cobalt eyes. He witnessed what could only be described as raw starvation manifesting in Vincent’s crimson orbs.

He certainly wasn’t used to being in this position, ordinarily he would be the one doing the penetrating. 

Help!

Maybe he shouldn’t have sent Spikey off so soon, he could have been a witness at his murder trial.

 

*

 

Reno sighed as he plastered his face with the palest foundation he could find at the drug store. Yet, he still felt it was a shade too dark. He wished he could say this was the first time he had done this.

Why did Tseng want to go out with him for anyway?

Why didn't he take Elena or that girl from the slums that he was supposed to be looking out for?

Ugh who knows.

Reno dug around the back of his drawer. He was sure it was here somewhere. He pulled out an ancient blush compact that was now caked in dust.

This was always his colour! It's too bad they don't make it anymore.

Damn it, where was his lipstick? 

Ifrit’s inferno.

The reddest lipstick available.

He might have to ask Zack if he can borrow his.

Wait. 

What was he thinking? He can't do that! He was supposed to be avoiding the soldier.

Ugh.

Back to the drug store it is!

 

Chapter 22

Damn Vincent was ruthless in bed.

But oh so worth it!

Zack staggered, nursing a limp and failing miserably to disguise it. He and his date strode into the banquet hall before locating the only two remaining seats. He was late, as usual. Though the only person traditionally later than him was Reno. Who was conspicuous by his absence.

How did he get out of this anyway?

“Are you alright Zack? Did you sprain your ankle?” Reeve addressed the soldier as concern reigned in his hazel eyes.

“Ugh, yeah! Sprained my ankle yeah! Really badly!” Zack nodded enthusiastically as though doing so would add credibility to his words.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

“Nice going Zack.” 

The soldier turned in the direction of the voice, assuming by the fatal level of sarcasm exuded through the words, that it must be Sephiroth. His assumption was correct. His eyes fell upon the General, who appeared disgusted that his second had actually managed to pull off this subterfuge. Not that he himself had a leg to stand on, as a certain blonde cadet sat next to him, buried beneath a sheath of make up.

But hey! At least Cloud looked convincing! 

“Zack, where did you find her?” Rufus offered the girl on the soldier's arm a smile.

“In a coffin in the basement of that mansion in Nibelheim.” Zack smirked before realizing how bad that sounded.

“You have an odd sense of humor Zack.” Reeve chuckled as he watched the pair take their seats.

“Sense of humor?” Zack appeared genuinely confused by the man's words.

“You mean you couldn't find a local girl from Midgar?” Heidegger chimed up.

“What did you have to do to get her to go out with you?” Scarlet cackled.

“I don't know who has the more attractive date, you or the General.” Rufus’s eyes darted between Cloud and Zack's date.

“Who is this by the way Zack? You haven't introduced her.” The President’s eyes ultimately resided upon the former Turk.

“This is Vincen-” Zack began before being shunted unceremoniously by a leg under the table.

“Vincetta.” Zack corrected with perhaps too much relief exuded through his voice.

“I must say, you look vaguely familiar.” Hojo stated, adjusting his spectacles as though preparing for a closer examination. 

Reno sat there, right across the table from the very person he was trying to avoid. 

Sephiroth.

He would have rather of sat across from Zack, at least he was useless at holding a grudge and about a million times less likely to murder his ass.

Although he could do with that right about now.

No one could hold a grudge like Seph could.

Except maybe a Tonberry.

“I don't know, I reckon Tseng has got the finest specimen of a date here.” Hojo interrupted as his eyes fell upon Reno.

“What was your name again, my dear?”

Eww.

Why did he have to be sitting next to Hojo of all people.

It took a lot to make Reno's skin crawl, but Hojo could do it in three seconds or less.

“Ugh,” Reno began, realizing he hadn't actually thought of one.

Crap.

His eyes darted to Tseng, as though begging for help.

“I could recognize those gorgeous sapphire eyes anywhere, Rachel.” Zack offered Reno a lifeline coupled with a smirk before being reinforced by a subtle wink.

Rachel.

Got it.

Trust Zack to figure him out.

“Where is Reno?” Heidegger's eyes searched the table before descending on Tseng.

Damn it.

Why did Heidegger have to notice his absence?

“I guess his body has yet to be discovered.” The words left Sephiroth’s lips with a brutal coldness.

“Hey!” Reno screwed up his face at the General before receiving a swift kick from under the table.

“Well if you do find it, do have it shipped to my lab.” Excitement in the form of raw delight flashed across Hojo's eyes.

“What would you want his body for?” Reeve grimaced as though he were asking about his own body.

“I don't want to know.” Reno screwed up his face.

“His physique is exquisite.” Hojo carried on regardless.

“Yes, it certainly is.” Tseng agreed with Hojo on something for once.

Reno's eyes darted to his superior as though wondering if he had truly just said that.

“A lean body, yet still retaining a high level of strength without compromising speed. I would love to analyze the foundation of his genetic structure.”

Reno felt sick.

He had barely processed Hojo’s vile words, when a plate of what looked like King Zu brains appeared before the redhead.

Great.

Because he wasn't feeling sick enough already.

“What the hell is this shit?” Reno stated, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to be prim and proper, polite, well mannered Rachel and not foul mouthed Reno. 

Oops. 

It was too late now as he discarded any illusory decorum to the wind.

“It's a Wutaian delicacy.” Scarlet explained, as though Reno should have already known what it was.

Scarlet's explanation clarified fuck all.

“It's basically ground meat with gysahl greens and onion.” Reeve explained.

“Thank you.” Reno offered Reeve a smirk. That smirk. The same sardonic smirk that was his trademark grin. 

Reeves' eyes narrowed upon the redhead, as though something about him confused him.

And there it was.

The Director's eyes widened as he had an epiphany.

Reno offered the man a wink before returning his attention to his food.

It didn't sound so bad now that he actually knew what it was.

Reno collected a fork full before drawing it to his lips. His eyes darted to Zack. 

How the hell had he pulled that chick? She was undeniably beautiful. Her long black hair, brooding crimson eyes and established cheek bones.

She could be a model of the highest order.

His eyes then returned to the General, and to his date.

She was equally beautiful too.

Wait a minute.

Reno's eyes narrowed in on the blonde.

Something about her seemed familiar.

Wait.

Those cheekbones, those cerulean eyes, that shy, yet polite mannerism.

Cloud?

Oh Gaia, was Zack the only one here on a date with an actual woman?

Reno turned back to him and then to ‘Vincetta’.

Now that he looked closely, there was something not quite right about her either.

Wait.

“Oh for the love of Gaia.” Reno groaned, instantly regretting it as he didn't mean to make a spectacle of himself. Every person attending the banquet now had their eyes on him.

“What is it Rachel?” Rufus asked, leaning forward before collecting his fork within his fingers.

“Nothing.” Reno stated sheepishly, realizing he was looking like a total whack job if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

Ugh, he felt like he had been here for ages. What was the time?

His eyes darted to the clock on the wall.

6:50?! 

He'd only been there for 20 minutes.

Oh Gaia this was gonna be a long night.

He collected his wine glass in his fingers before downing the whole lot in one gulp.

He could feel Tseng's eyes burning holes in him, but it's not like he didn't know that Reno had no manners before he asked him out.

Chapter 23

“How are you intending to spend your weekend Zack?” Rufus propositioned the soldier in front of the entire banquet.

“At the chocobo ranch!” The soldier exclaimed excitedly without hesitation, so excitedly in fact that his mouthful of food sprayed all over the table.

“Eww Zack!” Vincent screwed up his face, instinctively moving away from the man, as though second guessing whether his date were in fact a worthy contender.

“No you're not!” Reno growled before inheriting both a swift kick from under the table, presumably from Tseng and a death glare from Sephiroth. 

Shit.

Had he given himself away to the General?

Judging by that expression, there was no doubt.

Crap.

Not much got past his radar.

“What a charming idea. Which chocobo ranch? The one in Mideel I suppose?” Rufus’s sapphire orbs pooled with consideration, as though an idea were coming to fruition inside of his mind. 

“Yeah! how did you know?” Zack tilted his head slightly, as though hoping he had discovered another avid reader of the Chocobo Tuesday magazine.

“I saw the flight schedule. Hopefully Reno hasn't actually died, otherwise you'll have no pilot.”

“Oh.” Zack sighed, not bothering to extract the disappointment from his voice. Maybe Sephiroth was right, maybe he was alone in this.

Reno loved how little regard everyone had for his life as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

The redhead rested his arm on the table as he wondered where the dessert was at.

He suddenly felt something warm reside on top of his hand.

His eyes darted to his hand in alarm before discovering the culprit was Tseng. 

At least it wasn't Hojo.

Why was his boss effectively holding his hand?

“Rachel?”

Was Tseng scared he was going to suddenly get up and run away?

He did realise that this wasn’t a genuine date, right? They were only going together because neither one could find dates in time.

“Rachel?”

Reno felt Tseng’s leg kick him under the table.

“What?” Gaia, he was sick of getting kicked tonight.

“That's you.” Tseng whispered as Reeve let out a chuckle before attempting to disguise it as a cough.

“Yes?”

“You look very familiar to me, and I’m trying to think where I have seen you before.” Rufus's eyes narrowed in on the redhead.

“Don’t think too hard!” Reno stated as though through instinct alone as everyone around him erupted into riotous laughter.

It wasn’t meant to be a joke, but he’d take it!

“So, what about you General Sephiroth? What are your plans for the weekend?” Rufus asked, though something about his tone suggested that he didn't actually care for the answer.

Perhaps it was all in the interest of being polite.

The silver haired man glared at Reno, as though trying to swear at him telepathically.

“I am going to Mideel also.” The General stated, both coldly and methodically, as though he were planning out how to dispose of the redhead’s body without leaving any evidence.

“Are you going with Reno too?” Rufus raised an eyebrow, as though wondering if there would be anyone left in Midgar.

“No!” Reno yelled instinctively, as though momentarily forgetting his surroundings. 

Great.

Now all eyes were on him.

You know, again.

Tseng was wearing his most effective poker face today as he appeared to have given up on disciplining his audacious subordinate. 

“Assuming he hasn't been IMPALED by then, yes.” Sephiroth stated as though he had a bout of tourettes as his eyes drilled holes in the redhead.

“Sheesh! Anyway, what are you doing this weekend Rufus?” Reno figured a change of topic was in order.

“R&D have been working on developing an experimental vehicle that I wish to test out.”

“Ugh. Sounds boring.” Reno mumbled under his breath, as though expecting no one to have heard his words.

*~.~*

“Thank Gaia, that is over.” Sephiroth grumbled as he rose from the table, he collected Cloud's hand within his own, before drawing the blonde to his feet as though he were a lady of the highest order.

“Cloud, perhaps you would care to join me for a nightcap in my apartment.” Sephiroth whispered into the blonde's ear, as though not wanting anyone else to hear his words.

The cadet nodded as the General continued to gaze into his cerulean eyes.

Reno watched, not bothering to wipe the disgust from his eyes as they fell upon the sickening romance playing out before him.

Cloud was first and he was last.

Why had it never been more apparent than right then?

When would be a safe time to escape without Sephiroth noticing?

“Perhaps you'd like to join me in mine.”

Reno raised an eyebrow, were those words directed at him? He glanced around until his eyes fell upon the only possible origin.

“Me?” Reno made no effort to wipe the aghast expression from his features.

“Yes you.” Tseng offered the redhead a rare smile.

Reno's eyes darted to Sephiroth who was bending over to give Cloud a kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, let's go! Quick!” Reno bolted from the room with a speed that could be mistaken for enthusiasm. 

“Cloud, you were fantastic this evening.” The General cooed as he grasped both of the blonde's hands within his own.

“I didn’t exactly do anything though.” The blonde’s gaze darted to the floor, as though the cadet had been overcome by a sudden bout of shyness.

“You underestimate yourself, my dear.”

“Sephiroth, there's been a breach of the perimeter, you are required to deal with it.” Heiddegger barked as delight pooled in his eyes, as though there were nothing more satisfying in life than severing a blooming romance.

Sephiroth looked about ready to exercise the latest moves he’d been practicing in the carpark on the Director. 

Masamune plus Heidegger equalled mess. 

A mess that he would inevitably be required to clean up.

“Rain check?” Cloud offered the General a warm smile, as though hoping it would diffuse the rage smoldering in those emerald eyes.

 

*~.~*

 

Cloud headed back towards Zack's apartment. There was no way he was heading to barracks looking like this. 

Like he wasn’t already the resident wierdo as it was.

He would just have to use the spare key Zack left for emergencies under his cactuar doormat.

Cloud climbed six flights of stairs, which wouldn't have been a problem if he was wearing something other than stiletto heels.

“Excuse me, Miss.” Cloud's eye darted left to right, as though trying to discern if the voice was directed at him.

“General Sephiroth didn’t leave you high and dry, now did he?”

Okay the voice was definitely talking to him.

Cloud turned around before coming face to face with none other than Rufus Shinra.

“Mr President sir!” Cloud seized up, only narrowly stopping himself from saluting the man before him.

“There's no need for formalities, my dear. That’s for all the lowly rank and file to administer. Not for someone of your stature.” Rufus offered the younger blonde a winning smile as he closed the gap between them.

Oh Gaia.

“Uh, Sephiroth got assigned an emergency tasking, so had to leave.” Cloud murmured, cursing himself as his voice appeared to go AWOL. 

What was wrong with him?

Were his damn nerves getting the better of him?

“I see, well, in that case, would you care to join me for a drink?” The President offered as he stood mere inches from the cadet.

Oh Gaia, there was no way this could end well. 

“Of course.” Cloud nodded, as though his desire to please everyone had got the better of him.

“Come, my apartment isn’t far from here.”

Cloud followed Rufus up two more flights of stairs before entering an apartment that took up the entire floor.

This was going to be interesting.

Chapter 24

“Zack, you're staying in Midgar.” Sephiroth growled as he stood on the tarmac. He wasn't in the mood for obstacles today, he was, however, both hungover and horny. 

A dangerous combination.

He supposed Zack could help with one of those.

“What?! No!” Zack screwed up his face as though the General's words were entirely unacceptable. 

Sephiroth turned to glare at him, as though believing the look would silence his second.

He should know Zack better than that by now.

“It was my idea in the first place!” Zack whined as he ran after Sephiroth onto the heliport.

“You were gonna be my backup, remember.” The second continued to whine as he chased the General, who even walked faster than Zack could run.

“No Zackary. We've been over this, you're my backup!” Sephiroth was cranky and made no effort to hide it.

“Oh so I can come! Yus!” Zack grinned like an idiot as Sephiroth stormed off towards the helicopter before yanking the door open.

“No! No way!” Reno barked as his eyes fell upon the General. He appeared to be nursing a headache of his own.

Sephiroth ignored the redhead as he climbed into the seat next to him.

“Yes way!” Zack chimed up as he climbed into the back.

“Wait, where's Cloud?” Zack's eyes perused his surroundings, as though expecting to locate the blonde.

“He hasn't got here yet, obviously. It's not even 9, you guys are like 20 minutes too early.” Reno stated, not bothering to mask his agitation as he rubbed his temples.

Zack glanced at the General.

They didn't time that very well, did they?

This was gonna be an awkward 20 minutes.

“So, uh… How was the rest of your evening Reno?” Zack forced a grin to his lips.

“You looked great as a girl by the way.” The soldier added, as though hoping an ounce of flattery would diffuse the awkward tension radiating through the helicopter.

“Thanks Zack. I spent the rest of the evening with Tseng if you must know.”

“Ooooo!” Zack clambered through the small gap between the front compartment and the rear as though afraid he would miss some saucy details. 

“Well? What happened?” Zack prompted, as though surprised that he even needed to.

“You know, I can't remember a fucking thing Zack.” Reno grimaced as he continued to rub his temples, as though doing so would eradicate his pounding headache.

“Well… Did you wake up naked or what?” Zack prodded, clearly unsatisfied with the redhead's vague answer.

“None of your business.” Reno grumbled as he grasped the joystick.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Zack chuckled before turning his attention to the General.

“How was the rest of your evening Seph?”

“How was the rest of my evening?!”

Zack braced himself, already feeling sorry that he asked.

“I spent the rest of the evening chasing those ghastly wolfhounds from Wutai. They unleashed a pack of them around the perimeter.”

“Why didn't you just kill them?”

“Rufus wanted them saved as pets.”

“Sounds shit.”

“It was shit!”

A silence fell over the trio.

“How about you Zack? How was your evening?” Reno asked, if for no other reason than severing the awkward atmosphere from settling over them again.

“Well I spent the night getting absolutely ploughed by…”

“I already hate you Zack.” Reno spat as flicked several switches above his head.

“Why is everyone so cranky?” Zack shrugged as though genuinely confused as to why.

“Because we,” Reno pointed his index finger between the General and himself, making it clear he was including no one else in this.

“Had a rough night, while you got screwed six ways till sunday.”

Zack nodded as a silence descended over the trio once more.

“So… How do you know if you've found the one?” Zack turned to Reno, as if the redhead were the resident sage.

“Why? Do you think Vincetta is the one?” Reno did his best to suppress his laughter. Zack screwed up his face before turning to the General.

“How do you know Seph?”

“Grab them, take them home and if they survive the night then they are the one.”

“You can't be serious?” Reno's jaw dropped as he turned to Zack as though dubious that he had heard the General correctly. He needed confirmation.

His bafflement was reflected right back at him in the soldier's eyes.

“By the way Seph, do you want me to take care of that for you?” Reno's sapphire eyes locked with the General's emerald orbs, before darting to his groin.

“Take care of what?” Zack made no effort to hide his confusion.

“You're the best at it.” Sephiroth smirked as he undid his trousers.

“I thought I was last.” Reno leaned forward before burying his face in the General's groin.

“You're never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope.” Reno winked as he fished for the man's member before drawing it to his lips.

“Oh! I get it!” Zack finally realised what the two had been implying as he watched the redhead deepthroat Sephiroth without either his eyes watering or gagging.

“Incredible!” Zack’s jaw dropped as he watched mesmerised as the General’s fingers grasp the redhead as though holding on for dear life.

“Zack, go amuse yourself.” Sephiroth growled impatiently. 

“Doing what?”

“I don't care!” Sephiroth growled as he sunk his fingers through the mass of red between his legs.

“Fine!” Zack huffed as he wandered into the back compartment before gazing out the window.

The view paled in comparison to what he had just witnessed as his eyes traced the heliport.

How many helicopters were there? 

One…

Two…

Three…

“Hey, it's Spikey!” Zack pointed at a figure heading across the tarmac.

“Wait, why is he still dressed as a girl? And who's that with him?” The soldier’s eyes descended upon the duo as they grew steadily closer.

“Stop bullshitting Zack!” Sephiroth growled as Reno drove him closer to the edge.

“Is that Rufus?” The second tilted his head as though attempting to garner a better view.

“Shut up Zack.” 

“No, I'm serious!” The soldier tried to filter as much sincerity into his words as his shocked demeanor would allow.

“No you're not!” Sephiroth struggled to speak as waves of pleasure coursed through his body.

Just then the side door of the helicopter flew open.

“Shit!” Sephiroth pushed the redhead away abruptly, much to Reno’s disgust as the General stuffed his cock back into his trousers.

“See, told you!” Zack glared as Cloud climbed in before taking the seat across from Zack. He was avidly avoiding the soldier’s gaze.

“Told you what?” Rufus asked as he climbed into the helicopter behind the younger blonde.

Reno’s eyes locked with Sephiroth before the General turned to Zack.

“How handsome you look today Sir.” The soldier lied through his teeth as he received a dubious glance from the President.

“If you don’t wish to tell me, that's fine.”

The three remained silent, yet a secret language seemed to pass between them.

“Why are you with Seph’s date?” Zack dared to ask the question on everyone else’s lips.

It was a good question, one that warranted a good answer.

“I couldn’t leave a young lady to fend for herself.” The President offered the blonde a gentle smile before taking the seat next to her.

Reno burst into laughter, quickly disguising it as a coughing fit as he received the wrath of Sephiroth’s death glare.

“It’s good to see you are alive and well Reno.” Rufus stated methodically, as though he were reading a field report, not paying his last respects.  

“Thank you Sir.” Reno acknowledged, despite the fact that the President hardly sounded glad to see him.

“Wait? Are you coming to Mideel?” Zack screwed up his face as the reality suddenly dawned on him.

“Indeed.”

This was gonna be a long flight.

Chapter 25

“So… Uh…” Zack began as his mouth failed to form a sentence, let alone contribute anything of value.

He really wanted to talk to Spikey, but how was he supposed to do that when Rufus was right there?

He couldn’t give away the game.

Could he?

Even from where he was sitting, he could hear the General’s molars grinding against each other.

That only ever happened when Sephiroth was so pissed off that he couldn’t form a sentence either.

Oh oo.. Rufus was gonna get it for stealing his date!

“What's for lunch?”

“Zack, it's just gone 9, do you ever think about anything other than food?” Rufus stated as he brushed imaginary dust from his trousers.

“Yeah!” Zack sat up defensively as he struggled to think of something other than an open behemoth steak sandwich doused in rich gravy with a side of cheesy fries.

“Chocobo's!”

“And?”

“Sex!”

Cloud screwed up his face as though he were about to be subjected to one of Hojo's medical experiments.

“Not together!” Zack suddenly clarified, waving his arms defensively in front of his chest as he clearly wished he'd just kept his mouth shut.

“How long until Mideel?” Sephiroth growled suddenly as a distinct edge lingered in his voice.

He was either getting very hungry, very agitated, very horny or perhaps all three.

“Too long.” Reno sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

 

*~.~*

 

“We're here!” Reno finally announced.

“Thank Gaia.” Sephiroth groaned as he tossed the helicopter door open before jumping out without even looking.

“Hey! I haven't landed yet!” Reno barked, but even as the words left his lips he knew it was too late.

Zack forced a smile to his lips. It was the same forced smile he had worn this entire journey as he sat across from Rufus.

“So where are we staying?” Zack smiled as he directed his words at the pilot.

“You mean you didn't book anything?” Reno’s jaw dropped, though he didn't know why exactly he was surprised. 

This was Zack after all.

“No.” The soldier shrugged as though trying to work out what the problem was.

“You know this place gets like, mega busy, right?”

“No.”

“Unlike you, I booked a room ahead at the second best hot spring resort.” Reno taunted, plastering the biggest grin he could muster over his lips.

“Can I come stay with you?!”

“I think you already know the answer to that question, Zack.”

“Yus! I got a place to stay!”

“No!” Reno bit back as the helicopter hit the deck.

“This young lady and I will be staying at the best hot spring resort.” Rufus interrupted the ruckus as he took Cloud's hand in his own.

“What?! No!” Reno and Zack yelled in unison.

“Lucky Seph’s not here to hear that.” Reno muttered under his breath, though not quiet enough for Zack's enhanced hearing.

“Yeah! You better hope he doesn't find out either.” Zack winced as though someone had just impaled him with Masamune.

“Where is Sephiroth?” Zack's eyes searched outside the helicopter as though expecting to spot the leather clad, Masamune wielding, legendary fighter with godlike status wander out in front of him.

“He's at the bar.” Reno pointed through the windscreen to what looked like a Medieval themed bar.

“Well… See ya!” Zack waved goodbye to Rufus as he jumped out of the side door, seemingly only too glad to be shot of the President. 

Zack ran towards the bar, followed in quick succession by the redheaded Turk.

“Hey Seph! What's that?” Zack pointed to the goblet residing within the General's unforgiving grasp. Or rather, the crimson liquid that looked disturbingly similar to blood, contained within it.

“It's mine, that's what.” Sephiroth tightened his grip further, as though imagining the goblet were Rufus’s neck.

Zack was sure glad he wasn't that goblet.

“Drinking the blood of your enemies are you?” Reno attempted to stifle his own laughter before being assaulted by another bout of hangover.

Why did he drink so much last night?

“Starting a bit early aren't we?” Rufus smirked as his eyes darted from Sephiroth's face to his goblet before returning to their origin.

The General gritted his teeth as the man tightened his grip around the goblet further still.

What was that thing made of?

“Remind me to get one of those goblets before we leave, I need indestructible crockery.” Zack whispered to Reno, though not quiet enough as Sephiroth’s unimpressed eyes darted to the dark haired man.

“Me too.” Though the redhead wished he had brought popcorn for this unexpected spectacle.

Who needs a shiny chocobo, when you have live entertainment this good?

“I'm sure we'll see each other around town.” Rufus farewelled the trio as he took Cloud's arm within his own and waltzed off.

A collection of incomprehensible noises were muttered by the General as he ground his teeth once more.

“Can we go now?” Zack whined as his eyes surveyed how much of Sephiroth’s blood drink remained in the goblet.

“Zack we only just got here!” Reno eyed the soldier with disbelief.

“I wanna see the chocobo!” 

“You do realise the ranch is a three kilometer walk from here.”

“So?”

“In the mud.”

Zack shrugged, still struggling to figure out what the problem was.

“You coming Seph?”  Zack grinned like an idiot.

“Stop calling me Seph. Especially in public.” The General growled as he downed the entire goblet of crimson liquid in one go before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What would you rather he called you? Wanker?” Reno struggled to contain his laughter until his headache returned with a vengeance. 

That, along with the General's death glare were a lethal combo.

“Just kidding!” 

“No you weren't.” Zack stated innocently as he pulled a map out of his pocket.

“I think we need to go that way!” The soldier pointed towards the ocean.

“Zack, your map is upside down.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes, wishing he still had some alcohol left in his goblet. This was going to be a long vacation.

“Oh yeah! I think we need to go that way!” The soldier corrected as he now pointed in the complete opposite direction.

“Give me that!” Sephiroth growled as he snatched the map from the fingers of his second.

 

*~.~*

 

“Who thought this was a good idea?” Reno grumbled as his foot sunk down knee deep in mud.

“We've been at this for ages, we gotta be almost there, don't we?” Zack whined.

“Still got 1.67km to go.” Sephiroth corrected, though the mud hardly seemed to be affecting him at all as he gracefully glided over its surface.

“Ugh!” Reno and Zack groaned in unison as the mud continued to suck them in like a black hole.

Just then, a vehicle flew past the trio at an alarming speed.

It shot a tsunami of mud into the air, most of which fell straight onto the three.

“Oh for the love of Gaia!” Sephiroth growled, this just was not his day.

“Was that…?” Zack began, narrowing his eyes on the driver.

“Yep! That was Rufus and Cloud.” Reno sighed as he scraped a clump of mud off of his face with his equally muddy sleeve.

“What was Rufus driving?” Zack's jaw hung open as he watched the vehicle grow smaller and smaller on the horizon.

“That was the latest 4WD all terrain prototype that R&D have been testing for years. It also possesses amphibious capabilities.” Sephiroth explained.

“Great Seph! Now do it in English!” Zack grinned like an idiot.

“He means it's supposed to be able to go on water too.” Reno sighed as his eyes ran over his equally muddy compatriots.

“You know we can't turn up to the ranch looking like this right?”

“We look like we've already been off the back of a chocobo.” Sephiroth grumbled, yet Zack didn't know what he was complaining for, even after that mud episode, his long, silver hair still remained immaculate.

How? Zack screwed up his face as hardened cakes of mud clung to his black hair.

Not fair.

Chapter 26

“Do you know what the best part of that walk is?” Reno glanced over his shoulder as the trio reached the ranch entrance.

“What?” Zack tilted his head slightly, he'd obviously made no effort to wipe the mud from any part of his body.

“We have to walk all the way back again to get to the resort.” Reno forced a smile to his lips as he watched any resemblance of happiness deteriorate off the faces of his companions.

“Maybe we can just catch a ride with Rufus?”

“Oh yeah Zack, he's really going to let us ride in his fancy new all terrain vehicle looking like this.” Reno groaned, pointing at himself, or rather the thick coating of mud splattered all over him, as the trio approached the ticket gate.

“Well he is the reason why we are in this predicament to begin with.” Sephiroth grumbled.

“I'm hungry!” Zack whined, realizing that he still hadn't eaten since the banquet last night.

“Same. Three tickets please.” Reno tossed his wallet onto the counter, inadvertently coating the bench in a veneer of mud.

Zack offered the girl behind the counter a forced smile, as though praying for mercy.

Judging by the less than impressed stare he received, it wasn't working.

“I think they can't wait to see the back of us.” Sephiroth smirked, loitering a few meters away from the counter, doing what he did best. Deriving pleasure from other people’s misery.

“Come on! Let's go to the Chococafe!” Zack bolted from the ticket stand, following his nose until he reached the restaurant.

“Let's sit right here!” Zack yelled out, enthusiasm rife in his voice as he ran towards an unoccupied picnic table, giving the other two no say in the matter whatsoever.

“Let’s see… What's for lunch?” Zack tore open the menu, not bothering to wait for his companions to catch up as his eyes perused the food on offer. 

 

Chocobo soup.

Fresh chocobo broth, seasoned with sikhyl greens and Gongaga mushrooms.

 

Chocobo Club sandwich.

Served with local agria fries and your choice of salad

 

Grilled Chocobo salad.

Grilled chocobo served with fresh greens

 

Skewered Chocobo.

…

 

“Ugh…” Zack began as his face grew several shades paler.

“You know when it says chocobo…?” The second began as great trepidation swamped his voice.

“Yes Zack, it means it has actual chocobo meat in it.” Sephiroth stated as a matter of fact, taking a seat next to the soldier, as Reno claimed the one across from him.

Zack gasped before slamming the menu shut.

He couldn't eat his favourite animal.

“Hey! Check out the chocobo ice cream!” Reno smirked, his eyes deriving amusement from Zack’s shock as he leaned back in his seat before remembering there was no backrest. 

“Fuck!” Reno shouted, attracting the attention of nearby patrons as he fell onto the ground.

Instant karma in play.

“I didn't see that on the menu!” The second looked aghast at the prospect.

“That's because it's not on the menu.” Sephiroth interjected, tearing Reno apart with his eyes as he smacked Zack over the head with his menu.

Because falling miserably and embarrassingly on his ass wasn’t punishment enough.

“Hey Zack, did you know that they are gonna let the chocobo’s have lunch with us?” Reno smirked, climbing back onto his seat as he watched a staff member open the pen as a pack of chocobo's entered the cafe.

“Wow! Just wow! Oh Gaia!” Zack turned around about six times in his seat, as though not knowing where to look.

“Yeah it's so they can spit roast them right in front of you.” Reno teased, running his tongue over his bottom lip in a slightly seductive fashion.

“The sign did say their meat is Gaia’s freshest.” Sephiroth agreed.

“Straight from the farm. Literally!”

Zack gasped, his eyes rolling back in his head as he fell off his seat before finally collapsing under the table.

Reno's eyes darted to Sephiroth.

Had they just killed him?

Shit.

The General rose to his feet, placing two fingers to the man's neck before feeling the soldier's pulse.

“He's fine.” Sephiroth groaned, as though disappointed by the fact before kicking the soldier further under the table as though he were in the way. 

Sephiroth sighed before sitting back down in his seat.

“So what are you ordering?” Reno asked, not taking his eyes off of the menu.

“Skewered Chocobo.” The General stated without hesitation.

“You do realise its pieces on a stick, not the whole bird on a stick.” Reno raised an eyebrow, after all, Sephiroth had faced enough disappointments today. This could quite possibly be the last straw.

“Of course I realise that! What do you take me for? An idiot?” The General barked as he slammed the menu back onto the table before waving down a waitress.

“What about you?”

“Can't go wrong with a club sandwich!”

“You guys are the worst!” Zack groaned from under the table.

 

*~.~*

 

“My dear, I thought we might have high tea.” Rufus offered his blonde date a smile before pulling out her chair.

Cloud sat down, wondering just how long he would be able to maintain this subterfuge. His eyes gazed out the window before falling upon three figures who appeared familiar.

There was no denying Sephiroth as he sat at the picnic table, looking like he couldn’t decide who to skewer with his Masamune first, Reno, Zack or the person taking too long with his food order.

Though, it looked as though Zack had already been impaled.

Was he even okay?

Why was he laying on the floor under the picnic table?

And why were they all covered in what looked like mud?

“My dear, don’t mind those idiots out there.” Rufus smiled as he yanked the net curtain over the window, obscuring the cadets view in the process.

Cloud grimaced, he wasn’t sure Sephiroth would appreciate being referred to as an idiot.

“How about some cake?”

*~.~*

 

“Where is it?”

“It’s gotta be around here somewhere.”

Sephiroth leaned against a fence post, crossing his arms over his chest as though bored with the entire operation.

The fact that there was no one around should have been clue enough that they were in the wrong place.

How did they even get so far away from civilization?

Bloody Zack.

“Why do I feel like we’re not even on the ranch any more?” Reno’s eyes traversed vast empty plains.

“Umm…” Zack hesitated as he continued to turn the map around. And around. And around again.

“Give that to me.” Sephiroth snatched the map.

“Who left you in charge of directions again? Didn’t they learn the first time?” Sephiroth growled before gathering their bearings in less than three seconds.

“Hey! At least I brought a map!”

 

Chapter 27

Reno rejoiced with a grin as civilization appeared on the horizon. 

“I'm still hungry.” Zack whined as he trudged through grass that looked as though it hadn't been mowed in over a year. He shoved aside blade after blade before catching his foot on a rock.

“Argh!” He shouted as the ground grew closer and closer.

Reno and Sephiroth watched as the dark haired man face planted the ground.

“Did you have a nice trip Zack?” Reno made no effort to suppress his laughter.

“I hate it when people say that.” Zack grumbled, wishing no one had seen that.

“So do I.” Reno conceded, yet the grin still lurked on his lips.

“Then why did you say it!” Zack groaned as he fished through the tall grass for the culprit that had tripped him up. 

“Gotcha!” He exclaimed as he held what he thought was the rock in the air.

It turns out it wasn't a rock.

It was a coiled snake.

“Argh!” Zack shrieked as he tossed the animal without thinking.

The helpless snake flew through the air before hitting Sephiroth square in the face.

Oh o…

He was going to catch holy hell for that.

A silence fell over the trio as Zack awaited his execution.

“You're a bloody idiot Zack!” Sephiroth barked as the snake tumbled down his tall body before escaping back into the grass.

“Oh big news! Tear out the front page!” Reno waved his arms frantically as though attempting to draw attention back to himself.

“Yeah well,” Zack whinged as his eyes searched the landscape as though trying to find something to be pissed about.

“I didn't appreciate you guys ditching me at the picnic table. I didn't even know that you'd left! Why didn't you say anything?!” Zack complained as he rose to his feet, brushing the dirt off his trousers, but only ended up smearing the mud further.

“How did you not know?” Reno screwed up his face, though if he were honest, he was relieved for a change of topic.

“I passed out from shock, obviously! I don't want to hear about my chocobo friends getting massacred, filetted and served with a side of fries!” 

“Says the guy who ate a chocobo sandwich.” Sephiroth raised an amused eyebrow. At least he didn't seem pissed off any more.

“You said it was chicken!” Zack's face turned so pale it was almost gray.

“When did you wake up?” Reno adjusted the trajectory of the conversation. At least Zack was easily distracted. 

“When a fat chocobo tried to sit on my head.” Zack pointed at his head as though his two companions weren't aware of what it was.

“And where were you? Getting an ice cream. Without me. Unacceptable.”

“What are you complaining for? We bought you an ice cream too.” Sephiroth sighed as he rolled his eyes.

“You'd already eaten half of it! And you only gave it to me because you didn't like the flavor!” Zack waved his arms hysterically in the air, as though doing so would emphasize his point.

“Yeah I don't know why you picked that flavour.” Reno screwed up his face as he shook his head, making no effort to disguise his disgust at the General's choice.

“Why do they even make that flavour? It's probably especially for freaks like you Seph.” Zack nodded in agreement with his own words.

“Stop calling me Seph!”

“Salted mushroom ice cream. Gross!” Zack shuddered, as though someone had just walked over his grave.

“Says the guy who polished it off.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes as he tossed the paper map to Reno.

“It was free! Plus they were Gongaga mushrooms. They are fantastic, just like me.”

“Well, you're half right.” Reno bit into his lower lip, as though doing so would stifle more insults from leaving his lips.

Not that he needed to, most of what he said went right over the soldier's head anyway.

“Yeah well, salted mushrooms are great, just not in ice cream.” Zack conceded as they appeared to reenter civilization. 

“Oh Gaia there it is!” Zack exclaimed, not bothering to exercise any decorum as he bolted towards the shiny purple chocobo.

He suddenly stopped, as though he only just realised the huge crowd of people around the chocobo.

How was he supposed to get to the front of the queue?

He jumped up and down, as though trying to spot the bird between the heads of all the people surrounding it.

“Ugh! Seph! How am I supposed to pat it?” The soldier whined as he pointed at the large, shiny purple bird, as though it weren't already obvious that it was the focal point.

“Don't call me Seph!” The General growled as he took his time striding towards the spectacle that was Zackary Fair.

The crowd appeared to take one look at the promise of imminent death that was plastered all over Sephiroth's cranky face before parting like a zip.

“Would you look at that! It's like magic!” Zack grinned like an idiot as he ran towards the hapless animal.

“Here Zack, I'll take your photo.” Reno offered as he pulled a camera out of his pocket.

It, too, was also caked in a coating of mud.

“Is that a camera? Where did you get it from? It looks like an antique!”

“Yeah, well, I was planning to use this camera for something else.” Reno winked at Seph as he made a rude gesture with his tongue. 

“Make sure to get my good side! And make sure there's no mud on the lens! I want the perfect shot!”

“Yes, Sephiroth .” Reno teased, the last thing this group needed was another bloody perfectionist.

“What's that supposed to mean?” The General growled, screwing up face as he made no effort to disguise his offence.

 

*~.~*

 

“I'm first!” Reno claimed the hot spring for himself as he bolted towards it.

“No, I'm first!” Zack shunted the redhead out of the way.

“Get out of the way!” Reno shoved Zack aside before seizing the opening and running forward.

“No, you get out of the way!” 

“You can both get out of my way.” Sephiroth growled as he pushed his way in front of the duo with ease.

“But Seph! I've been caked in mud all day!” Zack whined, pointing to himself as if he needed to.

“Oh, and what have we been caked in all day? Chopped liver?” Reno put his hands on his hips as he leaned forward, getting all up in the soldier's grill.

“Eww!” Zack screwed up his face at the mere prospect. 

“Or…” Reno smirked, ogling the General as he got more and more naked with each passing second.

“We could all bathe together.” The redhead suggested, a devious smirk plastered over his lips as his eyes darted between the General and the soldier.

Well, it was the obvious solution.

The General stood there, as though considering the idea.

Though, what there was to consider, he had no idea.

The answer was obvious as he grasped Reno and Zack by the arm before tossing them both unceremoniously into the hot spring.

Sephiroth slid in with a graceful elegance that could only belong to him.

“Here, let me clean that for you.” Reno offered, not waiting for permission as he sunk his fingers into Sephiroth's toned butt cheeks. The muscle definition was incomparable.

Chapter 28

“Now this is the life!” Reno announced to all and sundry as he leaned back in the hot spring, clutching his glass of future hangover.

“You know Reno, you never did answer my question.” Zack leaned in closer to the redhead, as a curious smirk crept over his lips.

“What question?” Reno stated, pretending as though he didn't already know what the soldier was about to ask him. He drew his wine to his lips, as though doing so would drown out Zack's voice.

“About Tseng.”

“Oh not this again. What about him?” Reno refused to look the soldier in the eyes as he took a sip from his glass.

Damn he wished he never said anything now.

Why did he tell Zack in the first place?

“Don't be coy. You know.” Zack pressed as he crept closer to the redhead, as though proximity equaled intimidation.

Not that there was anything about the soldier that Reno found remotely intimidating. 

“It's like I said, I don't remember.” The redhead waved his arms out in front of his chest dismissively. 

Reno was good, almost believable in fact.

A silence fell over the trio as Zack stared at the redhead, the prolonged silence went on for so long that it even attracted Sephiroth’s attention. 

“Just tell him.”

“I already did! There's nothing else to tell!” Reno had gone from defensive to slightly agitated with this interrogation of sorts.

This was supposed to be relaxing, not stressful.

A series of footsteps drew closer as neither Reno nor Zack dared to look to find out who it was.

Sephiroth however, had the misfortune of facing the intruder.

“Look who’s here.” Sephiroth mumbled, disdain pooling in his emerald eyes as he instinctively reached for Masamune before remembering he was naked, unarmed but still dangerous.

“We had a lovely day, didn't we dear?” Rufus addressed the young blonde on his arm as they stalled in front of the trio.

“You do realise this hot spring is for boys only.” Reno stated, pointing at the men's only sign on the wall before resting his eyes on the cadet.

Unfettered amusement reigned in the redhead's sapphire orbs, even all that makeup wasn't enough to disguise Cloud's squirming discomfort.

“Not that it concerns the three of you, but we are off to have our own private soak.”

Damn Reno wished he could be a fly on the wall during that, for more reasons than just one. 

What better way to find out your girl is actually a boy.

A boy with a hot body no less.

The redhead ran his tongue over his lips as he resisted the temptation to glance up Cloud's dress.

…

Oh what the hell.

Reno pulled out the folds of Cloud's dress before blatantly staring up at what mysteries lurked beneath.

Not that he hadn't seen it all before.

Was he wearing girls underwear? Damn, Zack had gone all out.

“What do you think you're doing Reno! Mind your manners.” Rufus slapped the back of the redhead's hand away with a swift brutality.

“Oh well Seph, you'll have your date back soon enough.” Reno stifled his own laughter as Rufus eyed him with great suspicion.

“Don't call me Seph!” The General spat before altering his gaze until it fell upon the blonde cadet.

“Would you care to join me? I'll make it worth your while.” The silver haired man offered with what he obviously thought was a sultry grin. To Zack it looked more like Cloud was destined to be served with a side of fries.

“She is with me Sephiroth, it's rude to steal someone else's date.” Rufus stated as though his words were common knowledge. 

Reno winced, ouch. How much damage could Sephiroth do without his Masamune? He guessed they were about to find out.

Live entertainment at its finest. 

The General gritted his teeth so tightly, that Zack swore he heard the General's molar crack. His eyes darted between the President, the General and the cadet.

Cloud appeared to mouth something to the soldier.

Zack tilted his head to the side as he tried to figure out what it was exactly that the cadet wanted.

It looked a lot like ‘help!’

“Well, we are off to enjoy each other's company. Come dear, I'll spare you these idiots.” 

“Idiots?!” Reno screwed up his face, nearly spilling his wine as he watched the President disappear from sight.

“Says the one who still hasn't realised his date is actually a man.” Reno spoke the words on the mouths of the trio.

“Well, Rufus can find his own way back to Midgar.” The redheaded added, rolling his eyes as he downed another gulp of wine.

The General's eyes turned to Zack. The time was now.

“Zackary! Come here!” Sephiroth demanded as an agitated hunger lurked in his eyes.

The second's eyes avidly avoided the General's as he was now the one mouthing ‘help’ to Reno.

“I have a problem and it's your turn to deal with it.” Sephiroth growled like a starving animal.

This was gonna be rough.

Zack barely had time to hesitate when Sephiroth grabbed him by the arm and tossed him with little regard over the edge of the hotspring.

“Thanks for taking one for the team Zack!” Reno chuckled as he drew his wine glass to his lips.

Now all he needed was some chocobean popcorn.

“That's twice in as many days that you get to be the pillow princess!” Reno catcalled as Zack clung to the rocky edging as though he were about to go on the most severe ride at the Gold Saucer.

“Shut up!” Zack whined as his eyes pooled with great trepidation. 

“You're looking mighty fine today Seph, have you lost weight?”

“For the last time, don't call me Seph! No amount of sweet nothings are going to get you out of this one Zackary Fair.” Sephiroth promised as he sunk his slender fingers into the soldier's supple buttocks.

“You know Seph, you're kinda big…” Zack stated the fact as though it weren't already apparent. He gazed at the man's erection between his own parted legs. He was hung like a behemoth.

This was gonna hurt.

The soldier didn't know whether him getting used to this bent over position was a good thing or not.

“Yes, Zackary.” Reno winked as he took a sip of his wine. Time to get comfortable. He wasn't about to miss this for the world.

“Wait, Seph!” Zack mumbled hysterically as he felt the General press up against his buttocks.

“What's wrong Zackary? Did Vincetta not prepare you enough for this?” Sephiroth teased as he sunk his fingers into his second's muscular cheeks.

“Ugh…” Zack made no effort to disguise the trepidation in his voice.

“This won't hurt one bit.”

“Isn't that what they always say?” Zack winced as Sephiroth pried his cheeks apart.

The General hardly seemed disappointed by the view.

“How about I give you a hand Zack.” Reno smirked as though he were doing the man a great service.

He didn't bother to wait for a reply as he placed his wine glass down on a nearby rock before rising to his feet.

Reno slid under the soldier's bent over form, wasting no time as he collected Zack's cock in his mouth.

“Ngh!” Zack groaned as he quickly found himself thrusting, almost instinctively down the redhead's throat

Reno really was the best.

“Argh! Reno!”

“Enough!” Sephiroth demanded, causing Zack's cock to fall from the redhead's lips.

“Zackary is mine to finish.” Sephiroth stated as though it were a fact they all should have already been aware of, before pushing himself inside his second.

“Ngh!”

“Come on Zack, you know you can do it.” Reno winked as a taunting smirk lined his lips.

“After all, if I can, you can.”

Zack made no effort to suppress his moans as the pressure built up inside of him.

“Seph,” Zack gasped, his voice coming out more sultry than he had anticipated as the General continued to bury himself inside of the dark haired man. 

Reno collected his wine just in time to watch Zack cry out in ecstasy.

“Ngh! Seph!” The soldier groaned as an orgasm felt within his grasp.

“Louder, Zackary, louder!” Sephiroth demanded as he thrust harder into his second.

“Sephiroth!” Zack cried out as a cascade of pleasure rolled through his body.

“That's the way Zackary, that's the way.”

He could get used to this. 

Chapter 29

“So…” Zack began, forcing a grin to his lips as he addressed the other two members of the party.

“So what?” Reno eyed the soldier with great suspicion.

“How should we spend our final evening in Mideel?”

“Don't you mean our only evening in Mideel?” The redhead corrected the dark haired man.

“We probably should have decided this before we started wandering the streets aimlessly.” Sephiroth stated the obvious.

“Tenpin bowling!” Zack suddenly squealed excitedly as he pointed at an alley several blocks down.

“Tenpin bowling? What do we look like? A mob of teenagers?” Sephiroth screwed up his face at the prospect.

“It'll be fun! I swear! Please!” Zack whined as he begged almost desperately. 

“Ugh, fine.” Reno sighed as he tossed the last of his wine down his throat.

“You know your not supposed to be drinking in the streets?”

“Its okay, I'm done.” A playful smirk lined Reno's lips as he ran his eyes over the dark haired soldier.

Though, in hindsight he should have savored it to survive the shit show that was guaranteed to occur at the bowling alley.

“We're here.” Sephiroth announced as they stood outside the ‘Tonberry's Torment Tenpin Bowling’ alley.

“The harder you hit them, the harder we'll whip them.” Zack read the sigh out loud.

“Whip them? They're not using real tonberry's are they?” Zack looked aghast.

“Guess we'll find out!” Sephiroth smirked as an unnatural level of enthusiasm suddenly pooled in his emerald orbs.

“I'll pay this time!” Zack offered as he darted up to the counter.

“Well that's a first.” Sephiroth goaded as he watched his second zoom past him.

“It looks like you can choose the shape of your tenpins, let's see… Cactuar? Moogle? Chocobo? Not chocobo!” Zack exclaimed as his eyes darted between the options available.

“Moogle! I fucking hate moogles.” Sephiroth spouted in a voice that could be heard three blocks down.

“Moogle it is!” Reno conceded as he watched Zack dig out his chocobo wallet from his pocket.

Oh Gaia.

Reno resisted the urge to slap his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“I'll go first!” Zack grabbed a ball from the pinsetter machine, not waiting for anyone to argue before stepping up the plate.

He stood there, taking his time as he assessed the laneway.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally tossed the bowling ball down the alley.

It hit absolutely none of the tenpins.

“Oh what?!” The soldier screwed up his face in disbelief.

“Tough luck Zack.” Reno chuckled as he rose to collect his ball.

“Did you know your ball is the same colour as your hair?” Zack chuckled as he eyed the orange ball in the Turk’s grasp.

Reno's eyes zeroed in on the soldier, as though tempted to throw the ball at him instead of down the laneway.

“Yeah, well, your hair is the same colour as Sephiroth's heart.” The redhead growled as he pointed at the man in question.

“Excuse me.” The General barked, screwing up his face as he stood to collect a masamune replacement from the pinsetter.

“Just kidding! He's just kidding!” Zack stood between the two, plastering a forced grin over his lips.

“I bet I can do this blind and backwards.” Reno taunted as he turned with his back to the laneway before closing his eyes.

Without further ado, he tossed the ball over his head. It bounced a few times before knocking down every pin.

Reno winked at Zack, whose face was more screwed up than a paper bag.

Sephiroth strode forward, clutching his ball to his chest. He had spent the last ten minutes picking out one he actually liked.

His eyes surveyed the scene, only then noticing that one of these things was not like the other.

“What the hell is he doing here?!” The General growled as his eyes fell upon Rufus Shinra, who was accompanied by none other than Cloud.

He swung the ball around in his hand before sending it flying at the President.

Zack and Reno gasped as they watched the ball go soaring across five lanes.

“Seph! You're supposed to be aiming for the pinheads.” Zack pointed down the alley.

Great.

Now they were going to have to wait another ten minutes for the General to pick out another acceptable ball.

“I am!” Sephiroth growled defensively as the ball narrowly missed the President by mere inches.

“Someone's aim is way off.” The General heard the President mutter to Cloud, a comment that would only serve to enrage the silver haired man further.

Sephiroth grabbed another ball from the machine without looking, as Reno and Zack glanced at each other with great trepidation in their eyes.

“Do you reckon you could kill someone with that ball?” Zack whimpered as he clutched Reno's arm as though his own life depended on it.

“Yes.” Reno stated without hesitation as he watched the impending disaster, while feeling powerless to stop it in any capacity.

Sephiroth surprised everyone by sending the ball not in Rufus’s direction, but down the laneway.

“Strike, mark it down.” He announced, turning around on his heel before the ball had even reached its destination. 

“It hasn't even got there yet!” Zack whined.

“Strike, mark it down.” Sephiroth repeated.

Sure enough, strike.

“Damn you.” Zack bleated under his breath, much to Reno's amusement.

“Bloody bastard.” Sephiroth grumbled as his eyes returned to Rufus’s direction.

“Hey Seph! Come sit here next to me!” Zack offered the man a forced smile. The General was scary when he got like this. They'd hardly been there ten minutes and at this rate, they'll be kicked out by twenty.

“Your turn Zack. Do you want me to put the gutter guards out for you?” Reno made no effort to stifle his amusement.

“Ugh! I'm sick of this!” Zack clenched his ball before strutting down the lane until he stood right in front of the ten pins.

“Your going down!” He pointed at the array of pins before spinning the ball around in his hand.

If he'd glanced around, he would have realised he had garnered the attention of everyone in the establishment. 

Even Cloud and Rufus.

“Strike!” Zack called out before he'd even allowed the ball to leave his fingertips.

The ball bounced once on the laneway before veering into the gutter.

“What?!”

“Gutter ball. Again.” Sephiroth stated the obvious as he struggled to keep his amusement from displaying on his lips.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Zack growled as a silence swept across the bowling alley.

“Ugh!” Zack went to kick the damn pins over with his foot when he suddenly lost his balance and went head over heel.

“Oh for the love of Gaia.” Zack groaned as he lay on his back, wishing he would return to the life stream, right here, right now.

“Well that was pretty embarrassing.” Reno covered his eyes with his hand as though pretending he didn't know who this individual was.

“Excuse me, is that man with you two?” An attendant approached the Turk and the General.

“Depends.” Reno winced.

“I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave.”

Wow.

They lasted five minutes longer than Reno expected at least.

Reno nodded, not even bothering to argue an unwinnable battle.

Chapter 30

“I can't believe we got kicked out.” Zack whined as the trio staggered down the street.

“I can't believe it took them that long to kick us out.” Reno groaned as he felt his stomach let out a growl.

“What's wrong? I fed you already.” He muttered as he gazed down at the demanding organ.

“I don't think wine counts as feeding.” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, as though it were a fact the man should have already been aware of.

“Yeah, well, those bowling balls were all faulty anyway.” Zack continued to whine as the other two rolled their eyes.

“Something was faulty but it wasn't the balls.” Sephiroth stated the words as though they were fact.

“Yeah, don't be a sore loser Zack.” Reno made sure to turn away before shaking his head.

“Well you certainly got the loser part right.” Sephiroth stated far too instinctively to be anything other than sincere.

“Whose idea was it to go tenpin bowling anyway?” The dark haired man continued to whine.

“Yours!” Sephiroth and Reno yelled in unison.

“Should have just gone to the movies.”

“The night is still young, you know.” Reno offered the promise of something more as they continued down the street.

“Can we go to ‘Romance on the River’?” Zack suddenly perked up.

“What the hell is that?” Sephiroth barked impatiently.

“You go for a romantic river boat ride around the park at night, and it's all lit up and stuff.”

“Isn't that for like, couples?” Reno raised an eyebrow as he turned to face the soldier.

“So?”

“There's three of us, Zack.”

“I'm sure they will let us on if we ask nicely.”

“I mean, you gotta be pretty bad to get kicked off of one of those, right?” Reno shrugged as though not completely adverse to the idea.

Famous last words.

 

*~.~*

 

“Now this is what I'm talking about!” Zack grinned as the trio lined up for their turn on the romantic row boat.

“Ugh, look at this queue though!” Reno groaned as he eyed a snake of people bent around the corner.

His eyes suddenly fell upon someone he hadn't anticipated.

Shit.

“Is that Palmer?” Reno ducked down behind a nearby shrub as though attempting to get out of sight before dragging Zack down with him.

“Why are we hiding from Palmer?” The Soldier at least had the wherewithal to whisper.

“Because we don't like Palmer.” Reno muttered as though the answer were already obvious. 

Sephiroth stood there, folding his arms over his chest as he made no effort to move whatsoever. 

“What's he doing here?” Reno spat out, as though someone had just told him he had to return to work immediately. Though, right now it felt like they were already back at work with all these Shinra executives around.

“Who would want to go on a romantic date with him?” Reno groaned as he pushed his index finger down his throat before gagging.

“You don't need your finger to make you throw up, the sight of Palmer is enough for that.” Sephiroth stated, not bothering to keep his voice down as he now appeared to be talking to himself.

Palmer’s eyes darted in their general direction, as though instinctively responding to the summoning of his name.

“My my, is that you Sephiroth?”

“Damn it.” Reno groaned as he hid even further behind the shrub.

“What are you doing here all by yourself?” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Sephiroth stated, if for no other reason than to avoid actually having to answer.

“Oh but I'm not here by myself. I'm waiting for my date to arrive. She's extremely gorgeous, you know.”

“Poor girl.” Zack winced as though he were the girl himself.

“Agreed.” Reno whispered, nodding his head as though his words alone weren't answer enough.

“Well, she's not technically my date, she's the President’s. But I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow her for a while.”

Seeing red was an understatement as Sephiroth's nostrils inhaled so much air that Reno was surprised there was any left for anyone else.

He was preparing for something.

“There you are, Palmer.” Rufus joined the fray, his elbow entwined with Cloud's as he hung off of his arm.

“Please, come this way Sir.” A ride attendant approached the President before escorting the trio to a row boat.

“Oh Gaia, we have to save Cloud!” Zack shrieked from behind the bush, attracting confused glances from others waiting in line as they stared at this strange talking bush.

“But what about this queue? Their ride will be long finished before we even get on ours!”

“We'll have to do what we do best!” Zack suggested.

“Which is?”

“Gatecrash!”

“I think they will notice if we all jumped onto their rowboat.” Sephiroth sighed as members of the queue turned around to see who he was talking to.

“Then, I vote you go!” Zack pointed at the General.

“Why?”

“He's the stealthiest.”

“No, I'm the stealthiest!” Reno argued as his eyes darted between the too, as though seeking confirmation.

“And about 20 times less likely to murder someone's ass!” The Turk added as though that were a fact to be proud of.

“That's a good point.” Zack nodded as he conceded.

“We'll both go. Seph, stand here and hold our place in the queue.”

“Stop calling me Seph!”

Zack grabbed Reno by the arm before leading him along the river's edge.

“I can lead myself Zack.” The redhead grumbled as the soldier finally found a spot to his liking before crouching down in the reeds.

“We'll wait here until they sail past.”

“Lucky you explained that, I may not have figured it out.” Reno tried not to drown in his own sarcasm as he rolled his eyes.

“Really?”

“Of course I would have!”

“Here they come!” Zack shouted, pointing at the incoming rowboat.

“Shhh!” The redhead silenced the man as he yanked his arm back down behind the reeds.

“Did you hear something?” Rufus's voice could be heard amongst the darkness.

“Maybe it was just the wind.” Palmer chuckled.

“Wind? What wind? There's no wind.” Reno's eyes darted around the vicinity, as though hoping to spot this elusive weather event.

“Maybe Palmer farted.” Zack chuckled.

It was contagious as Reno struggled to stifle his own laughter.

“Okay, you have to go now!” Zack commanded between gasps of laughter, pointing once again at the rowboat, as though it wasn’t already the obvious topic of discussion.

“Wait, what do you mean me?”

“Just go, or you'll miss the opportunity!” Zack stated before unceremoniously shoving the redhead off the embankment.

“W-wait!” Reno flailed in an effort to regain his balance. He jumped for the boat before his foot caught the edge of it, causing the rowboat to suddenly flip over in one foul swoop.

“What happened?!” Palmer floundered around in the river.

“Crap.” Reno winced as he sat in the river, which turned out to be only about half a meter deep.

How had Palmer not realised this yet?

“Mission accomplished!” Zack grinned from the side lines.

At least Reno still had the cover of darkness as he slid as quietly as he could toward the bank of the river.

Zack was gonna get it.

Reno stood up, becoming a river of his own as the water cascaded off of his pissed off form.

“Shit!” Zack’s eyes shot wide open as he turned on his heel and darted away from the redhead.

“Yeah! You better start running!” Reno pointed at the Soldier as he fled the scene.

“Are you okay, my dear?” Rufus stood in the water, offering a hand down to Cloud before pulling the younger blonde to his feet.

“That was all your fault Palmer.” Rufus spat, losing his cool for but a moment.

“How was it my fault?”

“Your excessive weight caused an imbalance in the boat, resulting in it capsizing.”

“I don't appreciate being fat shamed!” Palmer squealed like a pig as he clung to the edge of the capsized boat.

Chapter 31

Oh the peace and quiet.

If Sephiroth was lucky, he might just be able to ride the romantic river rowboat ride all by himself.

What luxury.

The faint essence of a terrified scream could be heard in the distance, followed by a cascade of desperate footsteps.

Sephiroth chose to ignore it.

He was so close now to the front of the queue.

The screaming continued to grow louder and so too did the footsteps.

Sephiroth turned in the opposite direction. After all, whoever it was and whatever they were doing weren't about to ruin his evening.

“Get back here now!” Reno yelled out, quickly drawing the attention of everyone remaining in the queue.

Oh Gaia. Sephiroth grimaced before slapping himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.

Hurry up queue.

“Hide me!” Zack yelled even louder, or maybe it just seemed louder because he was closer, either way it was annoying. Zack emerged from the darkness before rounding the General and cowering behind him.

Sephiroth let out an audible groan at this less than desirable commotion. 

Should he indulge…?

Oh what the hell.

“What happened?” Sephiroth relented as his eyes darted between his trembling second and the redheaded onslaught that was thundering towards them.

“Nothing!” Zack forced a stupid, innocent smile to his lips.

That was obviously a lie.

Reno emerged from the darkness.

A sopping wet and very pissed off Reno no less.

Hmm…

Sephiroth glanced over his shoulder at Zack before returning his gaze to Reno.

It was very apparent what had happened here.

“Zackary, why did you push Reno into the water?”

“How did you know…?” The Soldier floundered, his eyes pooling with awe as though the General had just solved the meaning of life.

“Ah, so you did?”

“Damn it.” Zack muttered, before realizing he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Excuse me Sir, it's your turn.” The ride attendant guided the General and his entourage towards their boat.

Sephiroth commandeered the back, making sure to take his time getting comfortable. Zack stood at the river's edge, a grimace plastered across his face as Reno's eyes bore holes into him.

“After you.” He winced, offering the redhead priority placement, as though they were on the Titanic, instead of a rowboat.

“No Zack, after you.” Reno insisted as a calculated smirk lined his lips.

Why did Zack feel like he was about to get shoved into the water the moment his back was turned?

“Hurry up! Everyone's waiting!” The General shouted.

“Fine!” Zack forced a smile to his lips, as he veered towards the edge of the boat. He made sure to step backwards, as though afraid to let Reno out of his sights.

Sephiroth forced a sigh from his lips as he watched his second teeter towards the edge, as though moving in slow motion.

“Get in here Zackary!” The General growled as he yanked the soldier by the arm before tossing him in the boat.

Reno eyed the two before deciding whether it were wise to claim the spot between the Soldier and the General.

Ugh, what the hell.

What could possibly go wrong?

“Reno..?” Zack began before appearing to lose his nerve.

“Yeah?” The redhead eyed the soldier dubiously, as though bracing himself for whatever garbage would spout forth from the man's lips.

“Are you still mad at me?” Zack put on his best puppy dog impression, sounding pathetic, irresistibly pathetic.

“Well…”

“If I kiss you, will it make it all better?” Zack batted his eyelashes playfully.

Reno pried his lips apart to speak before suddenly having them inundated with Zack's tongue.

“You know Reno, there's somewhere else I'd much rather put this tongue.” Zack winked before running his tongue over his lower lip.

“Ugh Zack! This is supposed to be a romantic river boat ride, not a fuck fest!” Reno growled, folding his arms over his chest as though pissed off.

Or perhaps he was still pissed off about being shoved, so unceremoniously into Rufus’s boat, and then ultimately, the water.

“When were you ever romantic Reno?” Sephiroth sneered, as though reaching into the dark recesses of his mind for an example.

“Romantic? You mean like spending quality time with each other?” Zack tilted his head slightly, as though confused by the concept.

“Aren't we already doing that?” Zack added as he tapped his finger against his chin.

“I guess.” Reno conceded as his eyes beheld the array of lights dangling over their heads.

A silence fell over the trio.

“You know Reno, you're still pretty wet, maybe you should take your clothes off to dry them?” Zack suggested as a devious glint flashed across his eyes.

The redhead's eyes narrowed upon the soldier.

“What are you really suggesting?” Reno eyed the man suspiciously, though it was obvious he already knew.

“That's a great idea, Zackary.” The General garnered, as a sudden glint of excitement flashed across his emerald eyes.

An action that would ordinarily thrust absolute terror into the heart of his victims.

“For once.” Sephiroth added, muttering the words under his breath.

Reno chuckled slightly at the General's insinuation, severing his bad mood in one swoop. 

Sephiroth pried at the redhead's top, while Zack began at his trousers.

“Hey! What are you two…” Reno stammered as he suddenly felt set upon by his two best friends.

“Weren't you listening?” Sephiroth smirked as he slid the Turk’s red hair through his slender fingers before drawing it to his lips.

“You're about to be stripped, whacked and boned.” Zack grinned as a disturbing hunger lurked in his eyes.

“What?!” Reno made no effort to extract the sheer panic from his voice. It sounded almost like Zack was speaking some foreign language.

Or maybe it was the desperate hunger that had consumed the Soldier’s eyes that was unnerving him.

“You heard me.” The Soldier winked playfully.

“Yeah well, the boned part sounds promising.” Reno conceded.

“You make Reno sound like a fish you just caught from the river.” Sephiroth stated, bemused.

“Well he did just come out of it.” Zack shrugged.

“Yeah, because you pushed me into it.”

Though, Reno would be lying if he said he didn't like the idea of being boned.

“What am I gonna be, dinner?”

“Dessert.” Sephiroth corrected without hesitation as he traced his tongue around the redhead's earlobe, sending a shudder through the Turk’s lithe body.

Zack yanked Reno's trousers down to his ankles.

Thank Gaia it was dark as Reno lay completely exposed in all his naked glory. Zack wasted no time as he dove straight for the redhead's groin, taking him in his mouth.

“Ngh! Zack, you're too good at this.” Reno whimpered as he slid his fingers through the man's dark hair.

Sephiroth suddenly yanked the redhead up into a sitting position, much to Zack's disgust.

“I've got a fun game for us to play.” Sephiroth goaded.

Reno and Zack stared at the General, as though waiting for him to finish.

“It's called, ‘how many cocks can fit inside Reno’.”

“It's not a very creative name.” Zack tapped his chin, as though trying to think of a catchier title.

“No, but it does give the gist of the game away, doesn't it?” Reno glared at Zack, as though fully aware that he was about to get fucked up.

“Who cares! Let's just play it!” Sephiroth growled, losing more patience with every passing second as his groin demanded attention.

Right now.

 

Chapter 32

“Wait? Why me?” Reno whined as it dawned upon that he was about to be taken for the ride of his life.

“Because Zackary can't handle the punishment.” Sephiroth spat, not seeming to care whether he insulted the dark haired man with his words.

“Um, excuse me! Yes I can!” The Soldier yelled defensively.

“Really? Is that right Zackary?” Sephiroth leaned in closer as though goading the man into taking Reno's place.

Zack appeared to contemplate the consequences of falling for Sephiroth's taunting.

“Wait, uh,oh actually nah.” Zack quickly shook his head before waving his arms defensively in front of his chest.

“Hopeless.” The General shook his head before grasping good old reliable Reno by the hips and drawing him to his groin.

“Are you ready to be torn apart?” The General whispered in a tone that would have been seductive if Reno wasn’t fearing for what remained of his virtue.

Or his life.

Though the General didn't seem particularly concerned as to whether the Turk was actually prepared or not.

“No!” Reno whined, waving his arms frantically in the air as he felt Sephiroth push against his entrance.

Zack slid in closer to the redhead, until he was face to face with the Turk.

“I hope you're hungry.” Sephiroth whispered as a devious smirk lingered upon his lips.

Sephiroth pressed himself inside the redhead as Zack knelt before Reno.

“Don't worry Reno! I got you.” The Soldier winked as he collected the redhead's cock in his mouth before drawing it down his throat.

“Zack,” Reno whimpered as he slid his fingers through the man's dark hair.

Sephiroth always made him feel full, on account of his size, no less, so how was he going to feel with Zack inside him as well?

Probably shredded.

Was this a terrible idea?

Why was he even asking that when the answer was so obvious?

“Ready?” Zack grinned as he grasped Reno by the thighs.

“Oh yes please! Screw me so hard that Hell won't have me back!” Reno's voice oozed with rampant sarcasm as he released fake moans from his lips.

“Really?” An unnatural amount of excitement flashed across Zack's eyes at the prospect.

“No!” Reno spat, though he may as well have said nothing as Zack rose to his knees before lining himself up with Reno's already penetrated opening.

There was no way this could possibly end well for him.

“Open up Reno.” The Soldier whispered as he ran his tongue over his lower lip.

“There's only so much ‘opening up’ I can do Zack!”

“Come on! I saw what you did with that road cone last month!”

“Zack! You said you’d never bring that up again!” Reno growled as his eyes narrowed upon the Soldier before mouthing ‘shut up’.

“Road cone?” Sephiroth lowered his voice, as though the two were indulging in a secret of which he had been cast aside.

“Nothing!” Both Reno and Zack yelled, both in unison and far too quickly.

The General's gaze darted between the two, who both had to be quite possibly the worst liars this side of Gaia.

“Fine, if you don't want to tell me.” Sephiroth sneered as he sunk his teeth into the redhead’s neck.

“Oh Gaia!” The redhead screamed as Zack suddenly pushed through the threshold and entered his opening.

His body welled up with pressure as he spread his legs wider apart, as though trying to make space where there wasn't any.

“I really hope no one is watching.” Zack mumbled as he too began to nibble on Reno’s neck

“Really? I hope they are.” Sephiroth growled like a starving animal against the redhead’s ear.

“You're a freak, Seph.”

 

*~.~*

 

“Perhaps we should sit here.” Rufus pointed to a spot right on the river's edge as he pulled out a picnic blanket before laying it on the grass.

“Wait here darling, while I go and get us some nice warm coffee.” Rufus offered the younger blonde a warm smile before disappearing into the darkness.

Cloud sat on the embankment, watching as row boat after row boat sailed calmly by.

Young couples, old couples, an assortment of both, but they all had one thing in common.

They were having a very romantic time.

He sat there patiently as the next row boat meandered past.

What kind of couple would be in this one?

His jaw dropped to the floor as his eyes fell upon a starving Sephiroth ploughing into a naked, wonton redhead, while Zack brought up the rear.

Quite literally.

Cloud blinked furiously, as though doing so would alter the image appearing before his eyes.

Was he really seeing this? 

Should he be like Rufus and just ignore them?

He felt rude not acknowledging them, but they also didn't seem like they particularly wanted to be disturbed.

…

Oh what the hell.

“Hey Zack!” The blonde waved to his Soldier friend.

“Spikey!” There was a gasp, followed by a mad flurry, followed by the shoving of his cock back into his trousers.

The Soldier sat up straight like a meerkat as his eyes scanned for the origin of his blonde friend's voice.

Though even he knew it was too late. The damage had already been well and truly done.

“Well, see you later!” Cloud did his best to suppress a chuckle, continuing to wave as the row boat disappeared out of view.

Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.

 

*~.~*

 

“Seph!” Zack shook the man by the shoulder.

“Seph!” Now it was Reno's turn to do the same.

“Wake up already!” Zack whined as he started poking the man repeatedly with his index finger, as though he were the button for a slow moving elevator.

“What?” The General bellowed, prying open his eyes of which were instantly assaulted by sunlight.

Was it morning already?

“Guess what?!” Zack bounced up and down like an annoying puppy.

Sephiroth hated guessing games and today was no exception.

“What?”

“We’re still on the row boat!”

“What?” The General suddenly sat up.

“How in hell did we all fall asleep on this thing?!”

Zack shrugged, he didn't have a good answer, though that was hardly surprising.

“And why are you still naked?” Sephiroth ran his eyes up and down the redhead’s bare body, though he hardly seemed put out by the fact.

“Because I can be. What are you gonna do? Bite me?” Reno taunted as he pushed his naked buttocks into the General’s face. 

Sephiroth huffed, though anyone who knew him, knew this was his laugh.

Without further ado, he sunk his teeth into the pale offerings.

“Damn it Seph!” 

“We seem to have drifted up a canal not on the main route.” Zack surmised as he pointed to a much wider canal in the distance.

“Great. Just great.” Sephiroth groaned as he wondered why this sort of thing kept happening to him.

Was it because of the company he kept?

“What's the time?” Reno asked as he stared at his bare wrist.

“Why are you staring at your wrist? You never wear a watch anyway!” Zack seemed confused at his friend’s antics.

“It’s 1000 hours.” Sephiroth stated with ruthless efficiency.

“We have to go! I’m supposed to have the helicopter back in Midgar by midday!” Reno waved his arms frantically in the air, as though his words alone weren't generating enough alarm.

“What did we do last night?” Sephiroth rubbed his temples as though he were the victim of an insurmountable headache.

“I don’t remember, but Gaia my ass is sore!” Reno exclaimed, rubbing said part of his body with his hand.

“We weren't that drunk, were we?” The redhead added as he strained to recall anything from the previous night.

“Speak for yourself.” The General shook his head before quickly realizing that was a bad idea.

Ouch.

“But I only had one glass of wine!”

“You must be getting old Reno.” Sephiroth smirked, after all, taunting the redhead was his favourite hobby.

Well, second favourite after ploughing his ass raw. 

“Oh wait, Now I remember what we did last night.” 

Chapter 33

“Well… that was a weekend to remember.” Reno sighed, not knowing if that was a good thing or bad as he yanked open the cockpit door. 

“At least we got the helicopter to ourselves this time.” Zack conceded as he climbed into the rear compartment.

“How is Rufus getting back?” Sephiroth at least had the decency to ask as he took his place in the copilot's seat.

“Who cares.” Reno groaned lazily as he drew the aircraft off the tarmac.

“What are you sitting there for?” Sephiroth growled as he watched the dark haired soldier take his usual seat in the back compartment. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come sit on my lap.” Sephiroth commanded, patting his thighs with the palms of his hands, as though his second in command were a pet dog.

Zack tilted his head slightly as his eyes darted to Reno's, as though wondering if he had heard correctly. 

“Sit on your lap? What are you, Santa Claus?” Zack raised an eyebrow.

“Well, he's definitely got a present for you.” Reno made no effort to suppress his laughter as he eyed the General's groin.

“Ah but you know, I'd be happy to take care of that for you, and yes, even after last night! But then who would fly the helicopter?” Reno winked before clutching the joystick with a vice grip as though it were a cock about to explode all over him.

“I would!” Zack raised his hand eagerly into the air, as though he were back in school and had the correct answer.

Reno's eyes locked with Sephiroth's as they both appeared to be staring down the barrel of imminent death.

“What could possibly go wrong?” Reno suggested, his voice void of any sincerity. 

“Zack's flying ability, or rather, lack of it, is more dangerous than a platoon of Wutai warriors.” Sephiroth stated, suddenly whisking masamune off of his back before withdrawing polish from his pocket.

“Hey! Watch it!” Reno moved away instinctively from the long blade as it came within inches of prodding him.

A smirk lined Sephiroth's lips, as though he found this whole thing to his amusement.

Ugh, he had to be doing that on purpose, the General was a lot of things, but incompetent was not one of them.

Sephiroth ran the polish along the blade before withdrawing his cloth.

“Ugh, do you have to do that right now?!” Reno screwed up his face as he slid to avoid being impaled by the rogue blade.

“Um, excuse me! You haven't even seen my flying ability.” Zack tusked as he propped himself between the pilot and copilot seats.

“Yeah, there's a reason for that.” Reno added, his eyes darting between their direction of travel and the blade threatening his very existence.

“If its anything like your driving ability, then I'm out.” Sephiroth growled as he layered the blade in another coat of polish.

“How many times are you going to do that?” Reno screwed up his face as he watched the General rinse and repeat.

“Forty six.”

“Forty six!”

“Why forty six?” Zack leaned forward, as though afraid of being left out of the conversation.

“Because its my lucky number.”

“All the numbers and forty six is your favourite?” Reno eyed the General as though he were on crack.

“Not favourite, lucky.” Sephiroth corrected.

“That's oddly specific.”

“Well what's your lucky number then?” Sephiroth asked, though he didn't seem remotely interested in the answer, but rather having the attention diverted elsewhere.

“Forty seven!” Zack grinned like an idiot as he delivered his answer with a disturbing amount of pride.

“Oh it is not!” Reno rolled his eyes in disbelief.

Why were they even having this conversation? 

“What were we talking about again?” Zack tapped his finger against his chin as though thinking.

“Oh yeah! What's wrong with my driving ability?” Zacks eyes darted fiercely between the silver haired General and the redheaded Turk.

A silence descended over the helicopter.

“Um, I asked a question.” Zack stated, as though demanding an answer.

“Everything.” Sephiroth sighed, if for no other reason than to sever the awkward tension pooling in the cockpit.

“I've seen roadkill with more attention span than you, Zack.” Reno stated ruthlessly.

“You have no self awareness, sense of direction and no ability to read a map.” Sephiroth began his savage verbal assault.

“Remember that time you drove us straight into the roller door of the parking garage at the Gold Saucer?” An amused smirk resided on Sephiroth's lips as he regaled the story.

“I thought it was open!”

“Or when you thought you were so ‘all that’ at drifting, even though you'd never actually done it before. Then we all went straight into the side of Mt Corel.” Reno added to the growing pile of examples.

“Well someone shouldn't have put that mountain there!” Zack whined defensively as he shook his arms in the air.

“Or how about that time you swerved to avoid a baby chocobo on the road and ended up rolling three times down that embankment before winding up in the cemetery.”

“Should have stayed in the cemetery.” Sephiroth muttered under his breath.

“Seph!” Zack whined as he pulled the face of a heartbroken puppy dog.

“Or when we needed to get across that gorge and you thought ‘oh who needs a bridge! I'll just drive really fast and go flying to the otherside like they do in the movies!’ You know, we all nearly died that day!”

“Or when you decided to race those cactuars outside the Gold Saucer and they creamed you.”

“Yeah then creamed us with their bloody 10,000 needles attack.” Reno rolled his eyes at the somewhat traumatic memory.

“Or when you…”

“Okay! I get it! Gaia you two are savage bitches today.”

Zack slumped back down in his seat, his arms folded defensively across his chest as he turned away from the duo.

“Zack,”

“No.” The soldier huffed, refusing to look at either Reno or Sephiroth. 

“Come on Zack! You know we're only having you on!” Reno offered the Soldier a jovial smile.

“Then let me fly the plane!”

“It's not a plane, it's a helicopter.” Sephiroth corrected as he lathered yet another coat of wax upon his masamune.

“Oh sorry! My bad!” Zack shouted, sounding neither sorry, nor sincere.

Reno glanced at Sephiroth, both rolling their eyes in unison.

“Can I please fly the helicopter?”

“No!”

 

Chapter 34

---

Sephiroth pressed the tip of his pen to the paper before him. It was a plan to assess the pipeline supplying Kalm with Mako for structural stability.

Damn it was boring.

So boring in fact that the General couldn't be bothered to read it in its entirety.

Not that it was helped by an annoying shredding noise coming from Zack's general direction.

The General got the gist of the assessment from the title.

Shred.

Sephiroth tapped his pen against the paper as though tempted just to sign it without reading it.

Shred.

Damn Zack must have been rubbing off on him.

Shred.

“Zackary, what the hell are you doing?” Sephiroth finally barked at his second.

“Ripping out recipes that I like the look of.”

Shred.

“Are there any pages left?” The General growled as he watched the dark haired man deface Shinra property.

Right in front of him no less.

Shred.

“Spikey and I are gonna do some baking tonight.”

Sephiroth screwed up his face at the mere prospect.

“Isn't that why they employ cooks at the cafeteria?”

“Yeah but I wanna make something that actually tastes like what it's supposed to. Plus I get to spend quality time with Spikey.”

“You? Baking?” Sephiroth eyed the soldier skeptically before shuffling away from him as though he were diseased.

“Yeah… So what?”

“Do you want to be cremated or embalmed?” 

“Hey! I'm not that bad!” Zack stated defensively as a sudden gust of wind blew all of his recipes straight off his desk and into the bin. 

“Oh no!” The soldier rushed to his feet before chasing all of the rogue sheets of paper.

“I think it's a sign Zackary.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you not find it ironic that every single one of those pages blew straight into the bin?”

“No.” 

Sephiroth couldn't tell if Zack was lying or being a twit.

“Zackary, come here.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm hungry.”

“But I haven't baked anything yet!” Zack's voice rose an intonation as panic set in. 

“I'm not hungry for your baking! I'm hungry for you!”

Definitely being a twit.

“Haha, uh, I gotta go!” Zack forced a smile into his lips as he eyed the distance between himself and the door.

It was still further than the distance between himself and Sephiroth's desk.

Could he make it?

“I'm waiting, Zack.” Sephiroth breathed down the man's neck.

“Yah! When did you sneak up on me like that?”

“You call yourself a Soldier?”

“Haha.” Zack laughed, not bothering to disguise his nervousness at the man's sudden proximity.

“Don't look so scared Zackary, infact, I think you'll like what is about to happen.”

“You seem pretty sure about that.” Zack grimaced, not bothering to hide the trepidation in his voice.

Sephiroth fell to his knees before prying at his subordinate's belt.

“Wait, what?” Zack barely had time to comprehend what was about to happen when the General fished out the man's cock before taking him completely in his mouth.

“Seph!” Zack's jaw fell open, he hardly anticipated this ever happening.

Blow jobs were usually a pretty one sided event where the General was concerned.

“Ngh!” The dark haired man clutched at the silver frenzy between his legs.

“Oh Gaia! Damn your good!” Zack cried out as pleasure coursed through his body as though possessing a mind of its own.

Then again, Sephiroth was the best at everything, so why would this be any different?

Zack could hardly be bothered thinking about it as he released himself into the General's mouth.

“Zackary,” Sephiroth wiped his mouth on the back of his hand as he took a deep breath before glancing at the clock on the wall.

“That took less than ten seconds. You need to work on your stamina.” The General offered his presumptuous critique as he rose to his feet before returning to his desk.

 

*~.~*

 

“So, how was Mideel?” Zack offered his blonde friend a generous smile as he yanked the cadet into his apartment, barely giving him the chance to answer. 

“Better if I could have spent it with you.” The blonde mumbled his confession, as though embarrassed that his Soldier friend might actually hear his words.

“Naw, that's sweet Spikey!” Zack grinned like an idiot as he searched the depths of his cupboard for a mixing bowl.

“Hey, at least you got the royal treatment!” The Soldier added as he tossed a rusty old mixing bowl on the bench.

Cloud glanced at the object with great trepidation. Surely Zack wasn't actually gonna use that?

The blonde watched as Zack grabbed a tea towel off the floor before wiping out Gaia knows what from inside of it.

“Eww look at all the cobwebs!” Zack grimaced as he tossed the tea towel back onto the floor.

Cloud made a pact with himself.

There was no way he was actually gonna eat whatever the hell they were baking.

Zack turned on his heel before grabbing what looked like a torn out page from a magazine in his fingers.

“What do you feel like making? Because I like the look of this one, it's called Fat Chocobo's Revenge.” Zack grinned as he held up the torn out page.

“Are you sure? Because it says here that it's Cactuar Christmas Cookies.”

“Oh shit! Wrong one!” 

“We can make the cookies.” Cloud smiled as he waved his hand out defensively in front of his chest.

“Hmm… The recipe looks kinda complicated. “ Zack mused as he scanned the list of ingredients. 

Cloud raised an eyebrow at his friend, they were just cookies after all, how hard could they possibly be?

“Here, let me take a look.” Cloud collected the recipe, as his eyes scanned the page, they discovered no more than four ingredients listed.

 

Butter 

Sugar

Flour

Baking powder

 

Complicated? How simple did Zack want it?

 

*~.~*

 

“Hey Seph!” Zack barged into the office, holding within one hand, a plate of cookies, which he all too willingly presented to the General.

Zack batted his eyelashes in what should have been a seductive fashion, only when Zack did it, it came across more like an ultimatum. It was as though Sephiroth had two options. Eat cookie or die.

“What's in them?” Sephiroth eyed the biscuits with great suspicion.

“Gysahl greens.”

“Vegetables? In a cookie?” Sephiroth screwed up his face as though Zack had just sworn at him.

“Well yeah, I had to make them green somehow. Otherwise they won't look like cactuars.” Zack shrugged as if his answer were completely logical.

Sephiroth collected a cookie in his fingers, drawing it not to his mouth, but to his eyes as he put it under great scrutiny.

“What are those sharp looking bits on the top?”

“They're there to simulate the cactuar's needles.”

“Yeah but what are they?”

“I don't know, it's some crap I found in the back of my kitchen cupboard.” Zack grinned as though everyone did that.

“And you think it's okay just to put some questionable crap on a cookie that other people are going to eat?” Sephiroth dropped the cookie back down on the plate, making it apparent he had changed his mind.

“It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“That's because it is bad.”

“Just try it.”

Sephiroth sealed his lips shut. There was no way on Gaia’s green earth he was putting that in his mouth.

The doors to Sephiroth’s office suddenly flew open and standing in their wake was one redheaded Turk.

“So, you wanna hear the latest goss?” Reno smirked as he sauntered up to the General's desk.

His eyes instantly fell upon the green cookies.

“What are these?” He asked, not bothering to wait for a response as he collected one in his fingers before drawing it to his lips.

He bit down without hesitation before a loud crack resonated through the room.

“Ow! I think I just broke my tooth!” Reno exclaimed, instinctively grasping at his mouth as though his fingers would magic the pain away.

“You might have to go see Professor Hojo.” Sephiroth didn't bother to wipe the smirk off his face as he watched his friend in pain.

“Oh fuck off.” Reno winced.

No way in hell.

“Who the hell baked these!” Reno screwed up his face as his tooth throbbed.

Though, right now he wished something else was throbbing.

Zack remained conspicuously quiet as the General glared daggers at him.

After all, he didn't want to endure the wrath of Reno over Zack's incompetent cooking.

“Reno, guess what! Guess what! Guess what!?” Zack decided that a change of topic were in order.

“What?”

“Guess!”

“I don't feel like guessing!” Reno groaned as he clutched his mouth. 

“Alright, guess who gave me a blow job!?”

“You.”

“What? No!” Zack screwed up his face as though trying to work out if that were even physically possible.

“Seph did!” The Soldier pointed straight at the General.

“What? No way!” Reno's jaw fell open as a mouthful of remaining cookie fell from his lips, right onto the General's desk.

Sephiroth's eyes zeroed straight onto the predigested mess now occupying his desktop.

Reno turned to face the man in question.

“Where's mine bitch?”

Chapter 35

Damn Sephiroth’s desk was tidy.

Zack's eyes darted back to his own desk.

Oh Gaia.

It looked as though someone had cast meteor upon it.

Why did Sephiroth have to clean his desk? Now it made his look abysmal.

Zack turned his attention to the man in question.

He was perfection personified.

Why couldn't he be more like Sephiroth?

So graceful.

So elegant.

“What is it, Zackary?” Sephiroth sighed, it's not as though he could ignore his second’s incessant staring any more.

“Uh, nothing!” Zack raised his hands defensively, as though the General were holding a gun to his head.

“Then why do you insist on staring at me?”

“No reason!” Zack plastered a smile over his lips as he forced as much innocence into his voice as he could muster.

“Convincing Zack.”

“Really?”

“No!”

“Fine, I was just wondering about something.” Zack floundered as he reached into the depths of his mind to find something.

Anything.

“Oh Gaia help us all.” Sephiroth muttered under his breath.

Wait.

That's it.

“Have you ever, you know…?” Zack began before stalling.

“No Zackary, I don't know.” Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he withdrew a pen from his drawer.

The second glanced around the room, as though he were about to whisper a dangerous secret.

Despite the fact they were the only two in the office.

“Gone skinny dipping?” Zack's voice was barely above a whisper, but that wasn't a problem for the General and his enhanced hearing.

“Not unless you include the hotsprings in Mideel.”

“That doesn't count! It only counts when you do it somewhere you're not supposed to be naked at.”

“What are you suggesting?” The General's eyes narrowed suspiciously upon the dark haired man.

“I know this great beach just round from Costa Del sol. No one swims there because of the monsters.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It's called the Forbidden Beach.”

“Did it ever occur to you Zackary that it may be called that for a reason?”

“It's okay! It's got a gate on it, so no one will bother us.” Zack plastered a huge grin across his lips, as though this idea had been his best yet.

“Or no one to hear your screams of terror as your being eaten alive by Seadevils.” Sephiroth muttered under his breath as he skated his pen over Heidegger’s latest proposal with enviable precision.

“Well, Reno and I are going this weekend.”

Zack teased as he sat there, the grin growing even larger across his lips.

He knew it would only be a matter of time before the General's fear of missing out would get the better of him.

“You know, we might need a strong, masculine soldier like you to keep us safe from all the monsters.” The second battered his eyelashes as though he were flirting with the man.

“Zackary you are a soldier!”

“Oh yeah.”

Well that didn't work.

What a conundrum.

Zack sunk his teeth into his lower lip as though he were solving quantum mechanics rather than how to coax Seph out for a skinny dip.

Wait.

There was a surefire way to get the man to come along.

“Did I mention that Cloud is coming too?” Zack grinned like an idiot.

Now all he needed to do was ask his blonde friend if he could actually come.

Sephiroth sat up in his seat as though he had just been electrocuted.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course Zackary. Why wouldn't I be?”

“No reason.” Zack stated quickly as his eyes darted from one edge of the office to the other.

“So it's just you three going?” The General began again, not glancing at the second as he sunk his pen into his notebook.

“Yeah.”

“I might need to supervise.”

“Don't you trust us?”

“No.”

Well. 

It's not as though Zack didn't know that already. Especially after the Mideel episode.

“Is that your phone ringing?” Sephiroth's eyes narrowed in on the noisy device residing on the soldier's desk.

“Oh yeah!” Zack exclaimed, as though he hadn't even noticed.

Though how he could not have noticed was beyond the General.

Zack gazed down at the phone on his desk as though contemplating whether to answer it or not.

He hated landlines. Why do they even still exist? How was he supposed to know who was calling him?

What if it was someone he didn't like? Like Heidegger. 

He eyed the noisy device with great suspicion in his eyes.

Should he take a risk and answer it?

Or should he pretend he wasn't there?

Why were they ringing him anyway? No one ever rang him! They always went straight to Seph.

Just then the choice was taken away from him as a hand suddenly reached down to answer it.

Sephiroth drew it to his own ear.

“Finally! I thought you would never answer!” Reno's voice dominated the other end of the receiver.

“Reno!” Zack's enthusiasm meter went off the charts. 

“What is it Reno? Before you say anything vulgar, remember this is a work phone.” Sephiroth stated, his monotone voice sounding more like a tape recording than the real deal.

“Yeah, yeah!” The redhead waved his hand dismissively, not that the two were there to witness it.

“Well, can you tell Zack we can't get a helicopter so we're gonna have to take the Shitra 8 from Junon.”

“I think you mean the Shinra 8.” Sephiroth corrected.

“Nope!”

Zack rose to his feet before pressing his lips close to the receiver, causing Sephiroth to flinch at the sudden proximity. 

“Oh come on! It's not that bad!” The dark haired man whined.

“Like you've ever been on it Zack!”

“Well, yeah, no I haven't, but isn't that gonna take ages!!!”

“By the way Sephiroth, Rufus is looking for you and he’s not happy that you left him stranded in Mideel.”

“How is that my fault? Technically you left him stranded Reno.”

"Technically he left himself stranded because he wasn't at the helicopter on time." Zack surmised before sitting back down in his seat.

“Yeah well… If you see him, run!”

“Sound advice.” The enthusiasm was distinctively lacking from the General's voice.

 

*~.~*

 

“Hey Spikey…” Zack goaded, batting his eyelashes at the blonde as he sat on the couch of his apartment.

Cloud rolled his eyes. It's not as though he didn't know his friend well enough to know that tone of voice. He only got like this when he wanted something.

“Yeees?” Cloud made no effort to dispose of the lingering suspicion in his voice as he accepted a questionable looking can of lemonade from his friend.

“Uh, what are you up to this weekend?”

“Why?” Cloud knew better than to blindly agree to whatever hideous plans Zack was organizing.

“Just wondering.” Zack thrust an innocent smile on his lips.

It was not convincing anyone.

“Why?” Cloud asked again.

“I thought you might wanna spend some time with your good buddie Zack!”

“Doing what exactly?”

“Going to Costa Del Sol.”

Well…

That didn't sound too bad.

What could possibly go wrong?

“Sure.”

“Great! We have to sail on the Shinra 8 though.”

“Ugh not the Shitra 8.” Cloud groaned before suddenly realizing how ungrateful his tone sounded.

“Why does everyone keep calling it that?” Zack shrugged in confusion as though he genuinely had no idea.

“Have you been on it?”

“Well, no…”

“You'll see.”

Chapter 36

“Hurry up Zack, we're gonna be late!” Cloud called out as he stood awkwardly at the ferry terminal. He felt as though they were the last passengers and everyone was waiting for them.

“Spikey! I forgot my camera!” Zack called out from his motorbike as he searched the vehicle with a desperate efficiency.

“Just use your phone!” Cloud called back, though he didn't know why he was surprised at Zack's tardiness.

“I forgot that too!” The Soldier admitted as he continued to rummage. 

“Oh for the love of Gaia.” Cloud muttered under his breath.

“I'm gonna have to go back for it!” 

“What?! All the way back to Midgar?!”

“Yeah!”

“Zack! There's no time for that! The ferry’s about to leave!” Cloud shouted in disbelief as he pointed at the vessel in question.

“You're right!” Zack ditched the motorbike before running over to the ferry terminal.

“Lets go!” Zack grabbed the blonde by the wrist before running so fast up the gangway that Cloud was practically flying behind him.

Cloud shook his head. The others better not think they were late because of him.

“We made it!” Zack exclaimed as Cloud found his feet again.

“Good, you're both here. I was beginning to think you'd bailed.” Reno strode up to Zack and Cloud as Sephiroth descended upon the trio.

“Where is the buffet?” Sephiroth's eyes searched the walls of the vessel as though he was about to devour it and everyone in it.

“What buffet? There's no buffet.” Zack shrugged as though confused as to why the General would even think to expect one.

“There's your buffet.” Reno smirked as he not so subtly pointed his index finger at Cloud.

Sephiroth gazed down at the blonde, making no effort to disguise the delight pooling in his emerald eyes.

“All you can eat.” Reno winked as he trailed his tongue along his lower lip.

“Ah no! Spikey is not on the menu.” Zack stood in front of the cadet, his arms outstretched in a very protective manner.

“Get out of the way Zackary.” Sephiroth demanded, his voice adopting a hungry growl as he foisted the second out of the way with very little effort.

“Come Cloud, I'll buy us a drink.” Sephiroth slid his fingers around the blonde's wrist.

“Yey! Seph's buying us a drink!” Zack yelled out excitedly.

“Not you!” The General barked as he held his hand out scornfully.

“What about us?!” Zack made no effort to disguise the desperation in his voice.

“You two go amuse yourselves!” Sephiroth called out as he led the blonde towards the front deck.

“Ugh, that is so typical!” Zack whined as though it were his last desperate attempt at a free drink.

Sephiroth waved at the duo dismissively as he walked away before pulling the finger over his shoulder.

“Hey! I saw that!” Zack pointed at the General, who was fortunate to miss the aghast expression plastered all over his face.

“I think the whole ship saw that.” Reno muttered as he suddenly became painfully aware that everyone's eyes were upon them.

Zack turned to his redheaded companion.

“What are we gonna do now?” He whined as he waved his arms pathetically above his head.

“Ugh, ruin their date. Obviously.” 

 

*~.~*

 

“Come Cloud, let us sit here, next to the pool.” Sephiroth suggested, though his suggestions were more like commands.

Cloud nodded, not that he would even dream of ever disagreeing with the General about anything.

“Oh Cloud, I do enjoy these precious moments we share together, however fleeting they are.” Sephiroth goaded as he placed a glass of Mideel's finest wine in front of the blonde.

This was perfect.

No Zack, no Reno, no Rufus bloody Shinra to get in the way.

The General collected Cloud's hand in his before drawing it to his lips. He planted a gentle kiss on the back of the blonde's hand.

 

*~.~*

 

“Okay, they are sitting at the seat near the pool.” Reno pointed in that general direction as he peered through his binoculars. 

“Lucky you just happened to pack those binoculars.”

“I never go anywhere without them, Zack.” 

Reno offered the soldier a devious smirk.

“I don't wanna know!” Zack held his hand out in front of the redhead's face, as though telling him to stop right there.

Yet his eyes suggested otherwise.

“Yeah you do.” A cheeky smirk lined Reno’s lips.

“So now what?” Zack began as he pried the binoculars off of his friend.

“We go swimming. I’ll take the high diving board, you take the lower one.” 

In less than three minutes later, the Soldier and the Turk positioned themselves before giving each other the nod.

“I bet I can dive bomb harder than you can.” Zack taunted, his voice carrying the entire way across the front deck of the vessel as he stood on the tip of the diving board.

“Nah uh! I'm gonna hit the water way harder than you!” Reno coaxed, his voice deliberately loud as he stood at the tip of the opposing diving board, which stood considerably higher than the one Zack was occupying.

Sephiroth sat at his seat as he struggled to keep the blonde's attention upon him.

“Ignore those idiots.” 

Though, those ‘idiots’ were pretty difficult to ignore.

“I'm first!” Reno yelled, his voice at its loudest yet.

“No! I'm first!” Zack retorted, pointing his thumb straight at his chest.

“No! I am!”

“But I’m bigger than you!”

Sephiroth suddenly turned towards the pool as his eyes darted between the Turk and the soldier.

“Shut up you insolent fools!” The General barked as though he were a rabid dog before returning his attention to the blonde.

Reno gave Zack a smirk before mouthing ‘now’.

Zack jumped high off the diving board before breaking the surface of the water. Creating a huge wall of water in his wake. A tsunami of water that headed straight for the General’s table.

Sephiroth and Cloud were inundated.

For the first time, a silence fell over the boat.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Reno's eyes darted towards Zack's, whose beheld equal amounts of trepidation in his eyes.

Sephiroth slowly turned to face the duo. Water cascaded down his pristine silver hair as the promise of imminent death lingered in his emerald eyes.

It was a look the man reserved exclusively for the enemies about to become very intimate with his Masamune.

“Shit!” Zack clambered to get out of the pool as Reno debated whether it was safer to remain up high on the diving board.

Sephiroth wouldn't climb all the way up here, would he?

Would he?

“You get back here Zackary Fair!” Sephiroth chased the soldier around the deck.

“How close are we to Costa Del Sol?” Zack screamed out to anyone brave enough to respond.

“Zack, we haven't even left the port of Junon yet!” Reno yelled out.

“Shit!” Zack screamed as he suddenly jumped up onto the guard rails before diving overboard without even looking.

Apparently whatever dangers lurked below couldn't possibly be as bad as Sephiroth.

“Crap.” Reno muttered as the realization that he was now Sephiroth's only remaining target dawned upon him.

He could just stay up here for the rest of the journey.

Right?

Sephiroth didn't bother to look over board to check on the welfare of his second in charge as he strode towards the base of the diving board.

He folded his arms over his chest, as though making it clear that he was prepared to wait for however long it took.

“You know Reno,” The General began as though bored with this dog and pony show.

“Know what?” The redhead whimpered, as though not sure if the General was being rhetorical or sincere.

“I cannot taste the wine in my glass for the chlorine in it!!”

“It’s okay! I’ll buy you a new one if you let me live!”

Chapter 37

“I don’t know what you two were complaining about, the Shinra 8 was so not that bad!” Zack exclaimed as he continued to glance over his shoulder in case Sephiroth reappeared and chased him overboard again.

“Oh yeah Zack, it was real fun spending the night up on that diving board, dodging all the bottles Sephiroth threw at me.” Reno rolled his eyes.

“Do you reckon he’s still pissed?”

“Ugh, yes.” Reno stated without hesitation.

“How do we unpiss him off?” Zack scratched his chin as though hoping the answer would magically pop into his head.

“Go give him a gob job.” Reno suggested absent-mindedly as he led the way down the gangway.

“Hey!” Zack shouted, aghast as he covered Cloud’s ears as the blonde rolled his eyes.

“You give him a blow job, you're better at it! He even said so himself!” Zack yelled frantically, seeming to have no regard for the audience he was quickly garnering. 

“Yes Reno, give me a blow job.” Sephiroth's voice entered the fray.

Zack and Reno both seized up.

“Sucker!” Zack mouthed as his lips cracked into subtle laughter.

“Quite literally.” Reno muttered as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“What are you laughing at Zackary? You're next.”

 

*~.~*

 

“So… Where's this beach of yours Zackary?” Sephiroth asked, not bothering to extract the boredom from his voice as his eyes searched the seaside tourist trap, half expecting this mystery beach to leap out at him, all guns blazing.

“Its not far from here.” Zack promised with a grin on his lips as he pointed to the southern end of town.

“Well… What are we waiting for? While at the beach…” Reno smirked as he stripped off his clothes until he wore nothing more than a g-string.

“You know, you're even paler than I remembered.” Zack's eyes widened as they ran over his redheaded companion.

“How am I supposed to get a tan if I don't ever show skin!” Reno raised his arms in a defensive fashion.

Zack's eyes suddenly shot open.

He had forgotten that Cloud was with them as he quickly covered the blonde's eyes with his hands.

“What are you doing?” Cloud reached for the hands obscuring his vision.

“Salvaging your innocence!” Zack exclaimed as horror lurked in his eyes. How had he forgotten that Spikey was even there? Was it because the blonde hardly ever said anything?

Yeah, that had to be it.

“Are you seriously going to walk around town like that?” Even Sephiroth's eyes were wide open as they traced the Turks slender form.

Slender, yet delicious.

Sephiroth's eyes feasted on the Turk's pale flesh as though it would quench his searing appetite. The General ran his tongue over his lower lip, as though forgetting his location, his friends and ultimately, himself.

“Why not? No one knows me here except you too. That makes me free to run amuck.” The redhead grinned as though promising to do exactly that.

“Are you sure about that? This is Shinra's number one tourist destination.” Sephiroth had the wherewithal to remind him before his gaze became consumed by Reno's all but bare backside. 

“Isn't that Hojo?” Zack pointed to a figure lurking behind Reno.

“Oh whatever Zack.” The redhead waved his hand dismissively at the second.

“No, really!” The dark haired man waved his arms defensively before pointing at a man in a white lab coat two blocks away.

“Oh Gaia!” Reno gasped and within the space of a second, he was behind Sephiroth. 

“Hide me.” Reno commanded as he pressed himself up against the General's cold, tight leather.

“Is he gone yet?” Reno mouthed almost silently as he dared not look out from behind his shield.

“Nope.” Sephiroth stated bluntly without an ounce of mercy in his voice.

“Infact, it looks like he is coming closer.” Zack stated the fact without remorse.

Reno screwed up his face at the soldier, as though making it undoubtedly clear that he did not believe him.

“Sephiroth, what are you doing here?” Hojo leaned forward, adjusting his spectacles as he inspected his prized specimen with his eyes.

“Vacation.” The General stated blandly, as though only engaging with the professor because he had no choice.

“Vacation you say? That makes two of us.” 

Hojo stepped toward the silver haired man before appearing as though he were going to circle the General like a predator. 

“Shit.” Reno muttered as he stepped in the opposite direction.

“Well that's not very polite Sephiroth.” Hojo narrowed his gaze upon the General, as though he were a child that required scolding.

“Did no one teach you that swearing is bad manners?”

Sephiroth gritted his teeth, as though the act of keeping his mouth shut was consuming every ounce of his self discipline.

Zack darted his eyes towards Sephiroth before ultimately residing on Reno. The soldier gave the Turk an ever so slight nod in his own direction, as though inviting the redhead to use him as a shield.

Hojo's eyes darted from Sephiroth to Zack before returning to their origin.

“Wasn't there another one?”

“Nope.”

Hojo's eyes turned to Cloud.

“A promising young specimen.” The professor's eyes ran hungrily over the blonde's form.

“Won't you accompany me to the beach? I am about to conduct an experiment.”

“He absolutely will not be accompanying you!” Sephiroth growled as he reached for Masamune. 

“No, he won't be accompanying either of you.” Another voice entered the fray.

Sephiroth's competition was rife today.

“I require this cadet's assistance.” Rufus continued as he strode up to the younger blonde.

“Rufus? What are you doing here?” Reno stated, as he refused to come out from behind his shield, more commonly known as Sephiroth.

“I am here to conduct business, if you must know and I require an assistant as mine appears to have gone AWOL.”

“That's too bad.” Zack stated, though he could have put more effort into sounding sincere.

“Yes, well, I can't rely on either of you three. You are liable to also leave me high and dry.” The President’s voice adopted a passive aggressive tone as the three fell silent.

“Though, Reno, I have to ask…” Rufus began as he rubbed his forehead, as though this whole process was causing him immeasurable discomfort.

“Ask what?”

“Why are you hiding behind General Sephiroth?”

“Well, you know.”

“No I don't believe I do know.” Rufus stated bluntly, clearly unsatisfied with the redhead's answer.

“Because he's naked.” Zack stated casually.

“Ooh, is that right?” Hojo seemed to have gained a whole new lease on life.

“Thanks for that Zack! And no I'm not naked!”

“Then why?” Rufus persisted, though his attention had turned to Cloud.

“Just shy.” Reno fumbled as Sephiroth wondered how on hell the redhead got a lie that big out from between his lips.

“Something about you looks familiar.” Rufus brushed his chin with his finger as though attempting to solve a puzzle.

“Oh yeah, Cloud gets that a lot. It's because he looks like a chocobo.” Zack raised his index finger into the air, as though his words were a matter of fact.

“A cute innocent baby chocobo.” The soldier added as he patted the blonde on the head in a rather vigorous fashion as though he were a pet dog.

“You're coming with me.” Rufus declared as suddenly yanked the younger blonde by the arm.

“Hey!”

Chapter 38

“I can't believe Rufus stole Cloud. Again! I was looking forward to spending time with Spikey!” Zack whined as the trio approached a gate blocking access to the forbidden beach.

“Why have they bothered to put this gate in when you can just swim around?”

“A lot of things defy logic Reno, you should know that by now.” Sephiroth stated, his voice devoid of any sort of enthusiasm for the task at hand.

“Here we go!” Zack exclaimed with enough enthusiasm for all three of them as he pried open the gate.

A few steps later they had arrived at the Forbidden Beach.

A very deserted Forbidden Beach at that.

“Right, are we doing this?” Reno rested his hands on his hips as he enticed the others. 

“You can go first Reno, your 90% of the way there anyway.” Zack raised an expectant eyebrow as his eyes traversed the Turk’s pale body.

“Fine!” Reno offered the man his most sincerely sardonic grin as he yanked down his g string. He didn't even bother to double check that no one else was around first.

“Your turn!” The redhead taunted as he stood naked before the other two.

“Right!” Zack nodded before tearing his clothes off as though he couldn't get naked fast enough.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, as though bored with this episode before it had even begun.

“I'll race you!” Zack goaded as his eyes penetrated the redhead's sapphire orbs.

“Oh please! You can't beat me!” Reno scoffed.

“Ready, set, chocobo!” Zack yelled as he took off, catching the redhead by surprise.

“Chocobo? Oh no you don't!” Reno chased after the Soldier, refusing to eat his words.

“Children.” Sephiroth muttered as he rolled his eyes before removing every ounce of clothing adorning his flesh.

He stepped foot into the water as the other two headed straight for a pontoon bobbing up and down in the water.

Sephiroth didn't need to race, he was faster than both of them combined as he caught up before swiftly overtaking the duo.

“Hey!” Reno and Zack yelled in unison as each attempted to pick up the pace.

Sephiroth reached the pontoon in no time before climbing ever so gracefully onto it.

A few minutes later, the cavalry arrived to find Sephiroth sitting on the edge of the floatation device with a satisfied smirk and no ounce of shame.

“I win!” Zack made no effort to wipe the satisfied grin from his lips as he jumped onto the pontoon.

Apparently Sephiroth's victory didn't count.

“Hey! No you don't!” Reno groaned as he sharply made up for lost time by joining the other two on the pontoon.

“It looks like you're the loser Reno.” Sephiroth sighed, as though disappointed in the redhead.

“Hardly!”

“Well, you know what that means.” Sephiroth goaded as he collected the redhead's hand before placing it on his cock.

“I thought you said I was the loser?” Reno seemed genuinely confused at this odd form of punishment.

“Hey, who’s that?” Zack pointed at two figures that had, at some point appeared on the sand, unbeknownst to the trio.

“Dont joke around Zackary.” Sephiroth stated calmly as Reno positioned himself between the General's thighs.

The redhead took the man without hesitation. 

“I'm not joking around!” Zack stressed as he proceeded to point at the shoreline.

“Tend to Reno.” Sephiroth commanded as though either not hearing his second's words or just choosing to ignore them completely. 

They all knew it was the later.

Zack positioned himself behind the redhead before pressing his hard cock to the Turk's entrance.

“Fuck me already Zack!” Reno whimpered as he glanced over his shoulder to see what the hold up was.

That's when he saw it.

“Oh no… Is that…?” Reno began before stalling. An action that finally caught the attention of the General. 

“Professor Hojo and Heidegger.” Sephiroth sighed as though accepting that fate had a twisted sense of humor.

“I did try to tell you!” Zack expressed in his most self righteous voice.

“Typical.” Reno sighed as he sat up.

“What do we do now?” Zack waved his arms frantically.

“Stop it! You'll attract their attention!” Reno growled as he lurched towards the soldier, inadvertently knocking both of them into the water.

“Guess we'll just have to stay here until they are gone.” Sephiroth glared at Zack before rolling his eyes and sliding down into the water with the other two.

“But that could be hours!” Zack whined as though he were an impatient puppy.

“Well… We could always just swim around the headland.” Reno suggested as his eyes darted to said headland for feasibility. 

“But then what? Our clothes are right there. We'll have to run through the bushes like total creeps!” Zack pointed to a pile of clothing not too far from where Heidegger was standing. 

A third figure joined the fray.

“Is that Scarlet?” Zack screwed up his face.

“I'm definitely not getting out now.” Reno visibly grimaced at the prospect of having his naked body violated by her gaze.

“Scarlet the Harlot.” Zack recited the mantra.

“Zack!” Sephiroth scolded his second, though quite possibly through instinct alone.

“It’s what they used to sing in soldier training!” Zack raised his hands defensively.

“Whatever.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

“Heidegger is worse.” Zack shuddered, receiving a nod of agreeable from Reno.

“Hojo is the worst.” Sephiroth corrected as he received a bid from both Zack and Reno.

“What are they doing though? You don't think they are trying to attract monsters, do you?” Zack raised an eyebrow as he stated the words on the back of everyone's minds.

“Yeah, if Hojo's there, then yeah.” Reno nodded as his eyes darted to a nearby rock formation, as though seeking a place of potential refuge.

“Hey, what's this doing here?” Hojo’s voice seeped across the ocean as he collected Masamune in his fingers.

“And this.” Scarlet reached down before picking up Reno's EMR.

“A buster sword?” Heidegger took one look at the weapon but refused to pick it up.

Though, that's quite possibly because he didn't want to look like an ass trying to pick up something too heavy.

“And what’s with this pile of clothing?”

“Do you think they got eaten?” Scarlet cackled.

“No because their clothes are still here.” Heidegger pondered as he rubbed his chin with his thumb.

“Crap.” Reno muttered under his breath.

“Then that could only mean that…” Scarlet chuckled as a delighted smirk plastered itself across her lips. Her eyes gazed out towards the ocean, as though hoping to spot the three in all their naked glory.

“Over here!” Sephiroth whispered as he yanked the two towards an outpouring of rock.

“This is technically Shinra property.” Heidegger laughed as he pointed at the weapons and clothing.

“Perhaps we should confiscate all of it for investigatory purposes.” Scarlet added as her amusement grew to a dangerous level.

“Fuck. What do we do now?” Reno whispered.

“Around the headland it is!”

“And then what?”

“We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Chapter 39

They were finally back on dry land.

Finally.

That swim around the headland had been diabolical.

Now they just had to figure out what to do next.

“Maybe we could ride that!” Zack pointed at a nearby zip line.

“Oh yeah Zack, because everyone wants to see your naked ass soaring across the landscape.” Reno rolled his eyes, not bothering to extract the sarcasm from his voice.

“None of them lead anywhere we actually want to go.” Sephiroth stated bluntly as his emerald eyes darted towards the main street in the distance.

“Where do we wanna go?” Zack tilted his head slightly, as though doing so would help him think.

It was a good question.

“More like where can we go like this?” Reno’s eyes joined Sephiroth's as they searched the landscape as though hoping to spy an opportunity. 

“Prison.” Sephiroth stated flatly.

“Only if we get caught.” Zack grinned, seeming to find this whole thing somewhat amusing.

He was about the only one that did.

“We need to get back to the hotel.” Sephiroth clarified as he started towards the town.

“This is gonna be fun.” Reno braced himself for the veritable onslaught. 

“Well… One of us could sneak back. It's less risky and less suspicious if it's just one.”

“I nominate Zack.” Reno stated, perhaps a little too quickly. 

“Me too.” Sephiroth agreed without hesitation. 

“Hey! What?! Why me?” 

“It's your fault we're in this predicament in the first place.” Sephiroth growled flailing his arms around in the air as though imitating Zack.

“And what are we up to?” A new voice entered the fray. New, but far from unfamiliar. 

The trio seized up, stationary as though they now resided in a painted portrait instead of their disturbing reality.

All three stood with their back to the current threat.

“Reno, you turn around.” Zack whispered as he glanced at the redhead through the corner of his eye.

“No, you turn around.” Reno bit back.

“He's your boss, not mine.” Zack whispered, as though that fact would reinforce his words.

“Let's just all turn around at the same time.” Sephiroth sighed, as though growing tired of this game of cat and mouse as they all followed his lead with undeniable hesitancy. 

“Oh hey Tseng.” Reno cringed as the Turk leader's eyes darted between Reno, Sephiroth and Zack before ultimately returning to the redhead.

Reno was sure the man snuck a glance a bit too far south as he felt a sudden compulsion to cover up that region.

Tseng took an audibly deep breath before shaking his head.

“Should I really ask what you three are up to?”

“Nope.” Sephiroth stated bluntly, seemingly unfazed by this somewhat uncomfortable position the three had found themselves in.

Tseng eyed the trio, not bothering to remove the suspicion from his eyes. The Turk folded his arms across his chest, as though unsatisfied with the results of his interrogation. 

“Anyway… Be seeing ya!” Reno waved the man goodbye before bolting towards the township without looking back.

Damn, work was gonna be awkward on Monday.

“Hey! Wait up!” Zack called out before pursuing the redhead.

“How long have you been following us?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, yet something in his emerald eyes suggested he already knew the answer.

This time it was Tseng's turn to freeze up.

 

*~.~*

 

“Holy shit! Did you see the way he was checking you out!” Zack's eyes were as wide as saucers as he finally caught up to the redhead.

“Oh he so was not!” Reno loitered behind a tree as he eyed their hotel on the outskirts, or rather the obstacles residing between it and them.

“He so was!” Zack stated adamantly as Sephiroth strode up to the duo.

“No!” Reno growled, though whether it was from defensiveness or denial remained unclear.

“What do you reckon Seph?” Zack turned his attention to the silver haired man, as though he were the Oracle of Delphi.

The General audibly groaned as though not wanting to be a part of this conversation whatsoever.

“Yes. He definitely was.” Sephiroth conceded, as though hoping that would spell the end of the discussion.

“See!” Zack pointed at the General so swiftly that he almost poked the man in the eye.

“Zackary!” Sephiroth growled as he recoiled away from the man's flailing extremities.

“See, you're just in denial.” Zack taunted, now subjecting the redhead to the unpredictability of his index finger as though he were telling him off.

“It could have been worse.” Sephiroth smirked as though pursuing the morbid fantasies currently running through his mind.

“How could it have been worse?” Reno turned to face the General.

“It could have been Rufus or Hojo or Heidegger or Scarlet.” The list could go on.

“True, though I wouldn't mind Rufus.” Reno admitted, as though Sephiroth's words hadn't crossed his mind, until then.

“What? Rufus? You like Rufus?” Zack's jaw hung open.

“I never said I liked him! Do you ever actually listen or do you just have selective hearing?” Reno bellowed, now it was his turn to wave his arms around hysterically in the air as though exaggerating his point.

Zack shrugged as a silence fell over the trio.

“Hey! I know! I'll just call Spikey to bring us some clothes!” Zack suddenly exclaimed as though he were some kind of genius.

“Yeah Zack, what a great idea! With what phone?” Reno nearly drowned in his own sarcasm.

“Oh yeah.” Zack conceded as he patted his bare thigh.

“We'll just have to make a run for it!”

“Can't we at least wait until it's dark?” Zack whined as his eyes returned to the hoards of people loitering in the streets.

“What? Stand here for four hours?” Reno screwed up his face at the mere prospect. 

“Well I can think of one way to fill in that time.” Sephiroth smirked, his words more sultry than he intended. 

Zack turned to face him, as though to confirm his insinuation.

“Zack, get on your knees.” Sephiroth commanded

“W-what did I do?” The soldier whimpered as though he were about to get spanked. He quite possibly was about to too, if Sephiroth had anything to say about it, that was.

“It's not a punishment Zack.” Reno chuckled, amused at his friend's misery.

“Deal with this.” Sephiroth pointed at his erection, which up until this point, Zack had failed to notice.

“Isn't it Reno's turn? I did it last time!”

“Actually, I did it last time, out on the pontoon remember. About half an hour ago…”

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway enough of this, let's just go.” Reno waved the man away with his fingers as his attention returned to the hotel.

“Sneak around the back, then follow that stream.” Reno pointed out the route 

“Its not a stream, its a pond.” Sephiroth corrected.

“Same diff.”

“Great idea! We can hide in it. It takes us almost the whole way to the hotel!” Zack exclaimed as enthusiasm swamped his voice.

“Well, you all the way back to the hotel.”

“What do you mean me?”

“You are the nominated individual, remember?” Reno took great amusement in reminding Zack of this little detail.

“I thought you were joking.”

“Well I wasn't.”

“But Reno! I didn't bring a change of clothes!” The soldiers' whines were growing more desperate with every passing second.

“What? Were you just gonna wear the same clothes all weekend?” Sephiroth's mortified expression was plastered all over his face and he made zero effort to disguise it.

“Well, yeah!”

“I brought one change, but that's for me.” Reno stated.

“I brought six changes.” Sephiroth stated, as though it were normal to bring six pairs of clothing to cover a two day period.

“Can I wear one of yours Seph pleeeeeeasse!” Zack whined, pleaded and begged.

It wasn’t as though Sephiroth really had a choice in the matter.

“You better get going Zack!”

“Fine. I’ll go. You can wait here and get perved on by Tseng!” Zack grinned before poking his tongue out at the redhead.

Reno’s eyes widened, as though he hadn't even contemplated that scenario until Zack mentioned it.

“Fine. You win. I’ll go too.”

Sephiroth groaned, its not as though he was about to stand there by himself waiting for these two to come back.

 

Chapter 40

“Great. We spent last weekend covered in mud at the chocobo ranch and this weekend covered in filthy pond water. What will it be next weekend?” Reno grumbled as he sat in said pond water, waiting for the most opportune moment to run up the fire escape to the safety of their room.

“It could be worse… At least your hair doesn't look red any more.” Zack giggled as he pointed at the redhead's head.

“Oh shut up!”

“Now! There's no one coming. Let's go!” Sephiroth declared as he led the way towards the fire escape. They began the ascent.

Tedious ascent at that.

“Why does our room have to be on the uppermost floor?” Reno groaned as they reached what must have been the halfway point.

“There better not be an actual fire while we are here.”

“Ugh! Don’t even say that!” Zack whined, stalling momentarily before picking up the pace.

For once it seemed that luck favored them as they reached their room without being detected.

“So… Who’s got the key?” Reno’s eyes darted between Zack and the General.

Blank.

“Oh Gaia! Let me guess Zack, it was in your pocket and now Heidegger has it?” Reno sighed as though defeated, not bothering to wait when he already knew the answer.

“We could always just kick the door down and pay for damages.” Zack suggested with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm.

…

“Or we could just try the door, in case it's unlocked.” Sephiroth suggested as the trio glanced at each other, it was, after all, the logical solution.

“What do you know! It's unlocked.” The dark haired man cheered excitedly.

“Zack! You forgot to lock the door?” Reno shook his head, clearly hoping all his stuff was still there.

“Oops.” Zack shrugged though he hardly seemed bothered by his failure as he entered the room, swiftly followed by the remaining two.

 

*~.~*

 

“Can we go out for dinner? I'm starved!” Zack whined as the trio descended into the hotel reception.

“So am I.” Reno sighed as he resigned himself to his own hunger.

“Where should we go?” Sephiroth chimed up, his eyes darting between Reno and Zack, as though demanding an answer.

“Uh…” Zack grimaced under the General's stern gaze as he turned to face the receptionist.

“Excuse me, Miss, do you know any good restaurants around here?” Zack leaned over the reception counter, until he was mere inches from the young woman.

“Ugh yeah! I know a great restaurant that specializes in Wutaian food!” 

“Wutaian? I don't think I've ever had that before.”

“It's great! Just great! You'll love it! I promise!”

“What did you say your name was again?”

“Yuffie Kisaragi!” The young woman saluted as she exclaimed her name proudly.

“Kisaragi? Are you Wutaian yourself?” Sephiroth stated in his typical monotone voice, making it rather unclear if he were actually interested in the answer.

“Yes siree!” 

“Not that it's any of my business, but why are you in Costa Del Sol then?” Sephiroth continued his interrogation of the youth.

“A girl's gotta earn some scratch you know! It's my summer part time job.”

A large growl escaped Zack's stomach as Reno and Sephiroth rolled their eyes.

“So how do we get to this restaurant? I'll write the directions down!” Zack grinned as he withdrew a pen from his pocket before scavenging for a piece of paper to write on.

 

*~.~*

 

“Zackary, what the hell does this say?” Sephiroth screwed up his face as he attempted in vain to decipher the directions on the piece of paper in his fingers.

“How should I know?” Zack shrugged as he waved away the piece of paper.

“You're the one who wrote it!”

“So?”

“Zackary, you need to improve your handwriting.” Sephiroth sighed as he stated the obvious.

“Maybe if we just wander around we'll find it.” Reno suggested as they began to meander through the streets overrun with tourists.

“Oh Gaia! Look! Look look look!” Zack jumped up and down excitedly as Reno turned on his heel to find out what the big deal was.

“Cait Sith Fortune Teller Extraudeneer! If you don't know where life's leading, get yourself a reading!” Zack read the sign above a tented stall littered with an assortment of crystals and tapestry.

“I have to go! Look! It's a fortune teller extraudeneer!”

“Yes, we can read Zackary.” Sephiroth sighed, not bothering to disguise his growing agitation. 

The soldier didn't bother to wait for permission from the other two as he waltzed into the tent.

“Greetings! Take a seat! I am Cait Sith! Fortune teller extraudeneer! What would you like to know on this fine afternoon?” A small cat stood on a table, its hands residing on its hips as it welcomed Zack into its makeshift shop.

“Who my one true love is?!” Zack exclaimed with very little thought.

“This will only take a moment!” Cait Sith smiled as he jumped up before landing on the head of a huge mechanical moogle.

Zack took one look at the creature as he breathed a sigh of relief. It was lucky Sephiroth wasn't in here. He hates moogles!

“Your one true love has long hair.”

Zack couldn't help but feel the cat's description was a little vague.

“Long silver hair no less.” The cat continued as he offered the soldier a  smile. Though, it looked as though he always smiled, as it was the expression sewn onto his face.

“Wait?! Long silver hair? But then, that could only be…” Zack began to mumble as though he were talking to himself.

“What else do you want to know? Anything about your career or health?”

“Nope!” Zack grinned before rising to his feet, tossing a handful of coins on the table without actually looking at them before bolting from the tent.

“Your turn!” He yelled at Reno, grabbing the redhead by the arm before shoving him into the tent.

“But Zack I don't…” Reno began before disappearing behind a wall of tapestry.

“So…” Sephiroth began, folding his arms over chest as he leaned against a hotel wall.

“So what?” Zack seemed genuinely confused by the General's words, to which Sephiroth did well to disguise his frustration. 

“How did it go?”

“It was alright.”

The General was hoping for a little bit more than alright.

“What did you want to know, my redheaded pal?!” Cait Sith grinned enthusiastically at Reno. 

“Who is my one true love?”

“Oh not you too!” The cat chuckled as he shook his head dismissively. 

“What do you mean?”

“The last guy asked the same thing!”

“Really?” A bemused smirk lined Reno's lips as he pondered the possibilities of who it could be.

“Let's see now!” Cait began as he jumped up and down on top of his moogle.

“Your one true love is a blonde.”

“Really?” Reno leaned in closer to the cat, as though his words were only the mere start of the scoop.

“And?!” The redhead prompted impatiently.

“In a position of great authority.”

“What?”

Who fits that description?

Cloud is blonde but he isn't exactly in a position of great authority…

Reno's face suddenly dropped as the realization dawned on him.

There was one person who did fit that description.

No.

Fricken.

Way.

Chapter 41

“I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Zack goaded, batting his eyelashes as he leaned over the table at the ‘Wutain Wrestler’ Restaurant. 

“Tell you what?” Reno sighed, not bothering to infuse his words with any kind of enthusiasm. 

“What the fortune teller said, obviously.” Zack tusked as though the answer were so blatantly obvious. 

“I don’t care what the fortune teller said.”

“Ooo… does that mean they said something super juicy?”

“None of your business.” Reno stated with an undeniable sense of finality.

“Fine! Whatever!” Zack conceeded. He had lost the battle but he would not lose the war.

“Are you finished with the menu yet?” Zack whined as he clawed at the table as though he were a starving animal.

“No.” Sephiroth stated bluntly before turning two pages backwards.

“I already know what I want.” Reno stated as his eyes fell upon a hot guy sitting down at the table next to them.

Zack's eyes followed Reno's before falling upon the same guy.

“Who's that?” The Soldier mouthed, to which the redhead shrugged.

“How the hell should I know?” Reno stated, not bothering to keep his voice down as the waitress circled their table like a condor.

“What do you mean you don't know?!” Sephiroth's eyes pooled with disbelief.

“You mean you know who that is?”

“It's the Director of Urban Planning you fools!” The General stated perhaps a little too loudly as both Zack and Reno sunk down in their seats. They both glanced at each other as though praying like hell that the man in question by some miracle hadn't heard Sephiroth.

“Hi there, my name is Tifa, I'll be your waitress this evening. What will it be today?”

“I'll have the smoked sea devil, spicy fried cockatrice, a bowl of Zu tenders, two bowls of gysahl fries, a bottle of Wutain wine and a bomb chocolate cheesecake for dessert.” 

Reno's jaw fell open.

He didn't realise the General was ordering on behalf of everyone else here.

He better be paying for it too.

“And a behemoth steak with Gongaga mushroom sauce.” Sephiroth added before closing the menu and passing it, not to the waitress, but to Zack.

“What?” The Soldier didn't bother to mask his confusion at the man's actions.

“You can order yours now.”

“What?! All that is just for you?”

“I've had an eventful day.”

“And what have we been doing? Watching you on TV?” Reno spouted as he watched the poor waitress scribble everything down.

“Then order as much as I did!” Sephiroth shook his head, as though the answer were so damn obvious.

“Donuts!” Zack suddenly exclaimed excitedly.

“Donuts?”

“I think you need to eat more than just a donut.”

“I said donuts. With an ‘s’.” Zack emphasized, as if doing so would make his plight any better.

“I don't know Zack, after seeing you in all your raw glory today, I think you should lay off the carbs.” Reno made a point of running his eyes up and down the soldier's body, as though subjecting it to the ultimate scrutiny.

“Hey! Are you calling me fat?”

“Yip.” The General interrupted matter of factly.

“Well Sephiroth’s trousers have only got so much stretch in them. I’m surprised they fitted you in the first place to be honest.” Reno shrugged with an honesty that could only be perceived as brutal.

“Your savage! Luckily you're not my one true love!” Zack folded his arms over his chest in a huff as he tilted his head away from the redhead.

“One true love? What do you mean?” Sephiroth raised a curious eyebrow.

“It's none of your business!”

“Wait, is this to do with that fortune teller?”

“Maybe.”

“So yes.” Sephiroth corrected as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Alright… I'll indulge. Who's your one true love?” Reno sighed, resigning himself to Zack's idiocy.

“Well, I'm not telling!”

“Zack, have you decided what your having yet?” The General prompted as his eyes darted between the Soldier and the woman waiting patiently to take his order.

“Yeah! I already said! Donuts! 46 donuts please.”

“46? Why 46?” Tifa dared to ask the question on everyone else's lips. 

It did seem an oddly specific number after all.

“Because its my lucky number.” Zack forced a grin to his lips.

“It is not your lucky number Zackary, it is my lucky number.” Sephiroth growled as he pointed to himself before slamming his fist down on the table, causing everyone in the immediate vicinity to jump.

“You're not gonna eat 46 donuts.” Reno screwed up his face at the mere prospect.

“Oh yeah! Try me!” The Soldier taunted, accepting the challenge with a dire level of enthusiasm.

“Reno, Tifa is waiting for your order.” Sephiroth stated as a growl escaped his stomach.

In other words, hurry the hell up. 

“Cockatrice sausage.” Reno stated without even having a chance to peruse the menu, which still lay helplessly within the dark haired man's grasp.

“Cock sausage? You don't need to order that, you can just eat mine.”

“Zackary!” Sephiroth glared at his second as the waitress’s eyes became as wide as saucers.

“What?”

“Mind your manners!”

“What do you reckon Spikey is doing?” Zack abruptly changed the topic, though the General suspected it had less to do with manners and more to do with Zack's piss poor attention span.

“Savouring his time away from you, no doubt.”

“Hey! I heard that! Maybe I'll text him.”

“You do that.” Sephiroth rolled his eyes as his plate of spicy fried cocktrice arrived.

 

*~.~*

 

“He's coming to join us for dinner.”

“Who?”

“Spikey!”

“What?!”

“Whats wrong? I thought you'd be happy about it.” Zack forced a grin to his lips.

“Zackary! I don't want him to see me eating all of this food like a piglet.” Sephiroth spat, waving his arm over the myriad of plates, as though they were invisible to the soldier.

“Not half the pig Zack is gonna look with all those donuts.” Reno twirled his finger in circles around the Soldier's plate, as though emphasizing his point.

No sooner had the words left his lips, than the young blonde cadet stood at the tableside.

“Wow! Who is all this for?” Cloud's jaw dropped in awe as his eyes traced the cluttered table.

“Reno ordered it.” Sepbiroth stated blandly as though attempting to appear nonchalant. 

The redhead's jaw dropped even more than Cloud's as he struggled to summon words to his lips.

“Oh what?!” Reno finally spat out in a fit of fury.

“Where did all the donuts come from?”

“I ordered them.” Zack grinned, as though it were a fact to be proud of.

“What else did you order?”

“Nothing.” Zack shrugged as though this were normal.

“Is that all your having for dinner? Who just has donuts for dinner?”

“Yip.”

“But Zack, where's your shirt? And why are you wearing the General's trousers?” Cloud's eyes traced the Soldier's body as though trying to solve a puzzle.

“What is this? The Wutai inquisition?”

“Some questions are better left unanswered.” Reno winked at the blonde as he finally took his place at the table.

Chapter 42

Reno was hungry, but not for Sephiroth, Zack or any food on the table.

His eyes fell upon the blonde sitting across from him.

Yes.

That man was the only thing that would satisfy his appetite.

But was he as hungry?

One way to find out.

The redhead knocked a fork off the table.

“Oops! Clumsy old me! I'll get it!” Reno chuckled as reached down to collect the utensil.

He peeked under the table as his eyes instinctively darted straight to Cloud's groin.

Yep.

Definitely a bulge there.

Maybe that fortune teller was wrong and he had meant Cloud the entire time.

They were well suited and had a lot in common, like how horny they both were right now.

He sat back up at the table.

His sapphire eyes darted to the General to his left, before veering to the soldier at his right.

Obstacles.

How to get rid of them for long enough…

Or maybe he should just try being a little more tactile.

Sephiroth was busy inhaling the flesh off a cockatrice drumstick, while Zack was on donut number 26 already.

Perfect.

He wouldn't be missed if he went now. 

Reno slid back under the table.

Now this was a much better view.

Damn Sephiroth's trousers on Zack left nothing to the imagination as the redhead ran his tongue along his lower lip.

Reno shuffled under the table towards the blonde, as though the soldier wannabe was a magnet and he was a buster sword.

He needed this.

Reno knelt between the man's legs, his fingers hovering only inches from the blonde's belt.

This was a risky move. 

After all, Sephiroth would damn near kill him if he caught him playing with his toys.

Again.

Screw it.

You only live once.

Reno slowly pried the blonde's belt open.

He felt the blonde size up under his movements but he remained silent.

Good.

A smirk crept across Reno's lips as he undid the blonde's trousers before hastily withdrawing Cloud's cock from its constraints.

He was getting hungrier by the second.

He sunk the blonde's cock through his lips and down his throat in one seamless motion.

He needed this.

Oh Gaia how he needed this.

Even if it was only a short lived taste.

“Hey, where's Reno?” Zack asked, though he hardly seemed concerned at his friend's absence.

The redhead flinched, accidentally banging his head on the table above him in the process.

“What was that?” Zack suddenly sat up in his seat, as though on red alert.

“My knee, sorry!” Cloud whimpered, surprising even himself at how instinctive lying had become.

Maybe his friends were a bad influence after all.

“Do you want me to rub it better for you?” Sephiroth moved faster than a vulture as he leaned in closer to the blonde, an unnatural level of enthusiasm was now plastered across his face.

“It's okay, it doesn't hurt.” Cloud waved his arms out in front of his chest dismissively. 

Good boy Cloud.

You know how this game is played.

Reno sucked hard as he deep throated the blonde, sinking his fingers into Cloud's supple hips as he did so.

He could feel the cadet shudder under him, which could mean only one thing.

Cloud was close.

Would he forget himself and moan?

Reno felt the blonde's fingers slide through his red hair, holding him in place, as though afraid this source of pleasure would suddenly cease.

Reno suddenly felt a sharp pain in his abdomen.

“What the hell was that?” Sephiroth grumbled as his foot collided with something hard under the table.

“Crap.” Reno muttered, instantly dropping Cloud's cock from his lips. The redhead shuffled back three spaces as he felt imminent death about to loom over him.

“What are you doing under the table?” Zack's face suddenly appeared as he gazed down at the red head.

“Still looking for that fork!” Reno forced a grin to his lips as he crawled out before rising to his feet.

“I thought you found it already.”

“Well I didn't.” Reno lied, though he suspected Cloud had the edge when it came to lying with conviction.

“You know Seph, an apology would go a long way.” Reno whimpered, clutching his stomach as he slumped back down in his seat.

“That's what you get for loitering under the table like a pervert.” Sephiroth bellowed, no trace of remorse lingered in his emerald eyes.

The General could have at least had the decency to keep his voice down. The redhead didn't particularly want the whole restaurant to presume he was a creep. Especially not that hot guy at the next table over.

“Ouch!” Zack winced on the redhead’s behalf.

Then again, Sephiroth didn't know the half of it.

Its not exactly perving if the target likes it… Is it?

Reno slumped back down in his seat as his eyes locked with Cloud's. Shyness quickly got the better of the blonde though, causing his eyes to dart everywhere except Reno.

“So Spikey! How was your day?” Zack beamed with undeniable enthusiasm at his cadet friend.

“Ugh.” The blonde groaned as though the details of his day were too traumatic to recall.

“It couldn't have been that bad!”

“He spent the day with Rufus.” Sephiroth declared, as though his words were answer enough.

No need to elaborate.

 

Chapter 43

“Pick your poison!” Sephiroth commanded as he stormed into the bottle shop.

He knew how this was gonna end.

They were bound to spend the next forty five minutes trying to decide which alcohol to get, by which time the shop will be closing and they'll come out empty handed.

He grabbed a bottle of Wutaian Whiskey for himself.

Maybe he should just pick for them.

Yes.

“That's for you.” Sephiroth stated as he grabbed a bottle of Gongagan Gin before tossing it at a very inept Zack, who fumbled desperately to catch it.

“And this is for you.” The General grabbed a bottle of Rocket Town Rum before tossing it at a slightly more prepared Reno.

“And this for you, my dear.” Sephiroth smiled at Cloud before grabbing a bottle of Cosmo Cointreau.

“Don't worry sweetheart, I'll pay for it.” Sephiroth winked at the blonde as he continued to hold the bottle.

“Hey!” Reno and Zack yelled in unison. 

“Hey what?”

“What about us?”

“What about you?”

“Aren't you gonna pay for ours too?”

“No. I already paid for your cock sausage Reno and all your bloody donuts Zackary.”

Sephiroth grumbled, though it wasn't as though he couldn't afford it.

“Lets go!” Sephiroth commanded, not giving his compatriots the opportunity to argue with him.

“Maybe we can try sneak them in with Sephiroth's order when he's not looking.” Zack whispered as they followed a short distance behind the General and the blonde.

“I heard that!” Sephiroth spouted as he approached the checkout.

The man behind the counter could have given Sephiroth a run for his money in terms of intimidation. 

He was big.

Almost Dio big.

Reno and Zack approached the counter, their eyes darting between the General and this man with a gun for an arm.

“Who do you reckon is bigger? Sephiroth or…” Reno leaned forward to read the huge man's name badge.

“Barret?” Reno continued as he anticipated the soldier's answer.

“Hmm… I reckon Seph is longer but, uh, Barret, would have more girth.” Zack surmised, spreading his arms wide as though enacting his words. A proud grin adorned his lips, as though he were Gaia’s shining example of Sherlock Holmes.

Barret's eyes alternated between the duo and the silver haired man, as though deciding who to shoot first.

“Do you think he heard us?” Zack whimpered as his tone suggested he already knew the answer.

“I think the fish taco stall around the corner heard what you said.” Cloud winced as he shifted his position from standing between Sephiroth and Zack, to standing between Sephiroth and the door.

“Do you work here or are you holding this place up?” Sephiroth stated calmly, his eyes darting between the man's resting bitch face and his gun for an arm.

“Seph! Mind your manners.” Zack plastered a disgustingly forced, aghast expression across his face.

That, or, he was taking a disturbing amount of pleasure in telling the General off.

“Oh shut up Zackary.” Sephiroth spat.

“Do you wanna run that by me again?” Barret growled, resting his gun arm on the counter between them. His voice was low, cold and calculated, as though this was the fight he had been waiting to pick for an eternity.

“He's just kidding!” Zack ran forward, quickly positioning himself between the two men as he waved his hands in a hysterical fashion.

Reno rolled his eyes. Why did this sort of thing always happen to them?

Barret's eyes darted between the two men before him, as though tempted to carry on this conflict of words but for how long?

A smile commandeered Reno's lips, this was, after all, the opportunity he had been waiting for. He slid his bottle of rum discreetly behind the General's whiskey. 

His eyes darted between the two bottles before residing on the bottle remaining within Zack's grasp.

This was a lot of alcohol for one night.

What could possibly go wrong?

“You better watch it.” Barret growled, his voice deep, like a slow rolling thunder across the night sky.

Sephiroth parted his lips to speak but was quickly cut off by Zack's hand over his lips.

“Folks don't take kindly to your sort ‘round here.” The man with a gun for an arm continued, his dark orbs as thunderous as his voice.

Reno's eyes narrowed upon the scene playing out before his eyes, as though he were watching a slow acting poison.

Or perhaps the Wildlife Channel.

Which of the two specimens before him would strike first?

Would it be a fight to the death?

Seph had speed, but Barret clearly had brawn.

Now all he needed was a bucket of popcorn.

A silence settled between the five of them in this odd stand off.

Reno's eyes traced the foreboding shadow of Barret's body as though calculating if the reward were worth the risk.

Was Zack right?

About his size?

There was no way Zack was right, was there?

He was never right.

Reno leaned over the counter as his body adopted a somewhat sultry position.

The redhead rested his chin in the palm of his hand as he batted his eyelashes at the large man.

Dubious apprehension pooled in Barret's dark eyes as he watched the Turk with great suspicion.

“6.2 inches at full readiness.” Reno teased as a playful smirk formed on his lips.

Barret screwed up his face, as though he were trying to figure out what exactly it was that the redhead was referring to.

“What's yours?” Reno winked as he trailed his tongue over his lower lip playfully.

Barret suddenly stalled, as if the realization had struck him with the force of a buster sword.

Barret's expression had faltered for but a moment before he fixed his face with blind efficiency.

He was back in the game.

“6 inches? That would barely fit in the palm of my hand.” Barret raised his hand, tightening his grip around what Reno presumed was an imaginary cock.

Or perhaps his neck.

“6.2” The redhead corrected as he felt the eyes of his friends boring holes in him. 

“And on that note..!” Zack forced a grin to his lips as he threw a chunk of gil at the large man. The soldier snatched the bottles from the counter with ruthless efficiency before vacating the premise, making sure not to look back.

 

*~.~*

 

“That was so embarrassing.” Cloud's words were barely audible as the four strolled along the boardwalk.

The vague essence of relief adorned his features, as though he was either glad to be alive or glad that this would be the last time he would be hanging out with these three for the foreseeable future.

What else could possibly go wrong on this little weekend escapade?

“What was embarrassing Spikey?” Zack tilted his head slightly as though the incident at the bottle store hadn't just happened.

Cloud's eyes darted from Zack's to Sephiroth’s before finally residing on Reno's. What was he looking for? 

Confirmation perhaps?

Confirmation that getting threatening by a man with a gun for an arm wasn't just a figment of his imagination.

“Nothing.” The blonde murmured, suddenly feeling even more embarrassed than he had in the bottle store, standing before that enormous attendant.

“Then let's go!” Zack grinned like an idiot as he led the way towards what appeared to be a helipad.

“Ugh, you're all going the wrong way, the hotel is this way.” Reno tilted his head in the direction of a narrow alleyway.

“Is this your idea of a short cut?”

“It'll be fine! What could possibly go wrong?”

Yes.

What indeed.

Cloud braced himself as though he were about to be lined up and shot.

Chapter 44

Thank Gaia they finally made it back to the hotel.

“So…” Reno began, as though contemplating whether his subsequent words were a wise choice or better left on the backburner.

“So what?” Zack prompted as he watched the redhead hover around the couch furthest away from the door.

“Let's play a game.” The promise of disaster lurked on the redhead’s lips as slumped down on the nearest couch.

“Oh Gaia.” Sephiroth groaned as he opened his bottle of whiskey before drawing it to his lips.

What could possibly go wrong?

“Aren't you gonna pour that into a glass?” Zack appeared aghast as he watched the bottle veer closer and closer to the man's lips. 

“Nope.” The General stated bluntly, as though the answer were obvious before taking a swig.

“But… Don't you wanna save some for later? I mean, you're not gonna drink all that, are you?”

“Save? What do you mean by ‘save’?” The General seemed genuinely confused by the soldier's words.

“Zack, pass me that phone book.” Reno pointed at the fat book residing on the bottom shelf of the phone stand.

“Why? It's late, everything is closed now.” The soldier raised an eyebrow as he passed the book to the redhead anyway.

“let's see…” Reno began as he opened to the table of contents before sliding his finger down the page.

“Ah! Here we go, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 212.”

“Oh give me that!” Sephiroth growled as he snatched the phone book before tossing it unceremoniously back at Zack to put back on the phone stand.

A silence descended over the room.

It went on…

And on…

“Anyway! Let's get back to the game!” Zack forced a grin to his lips as he condemned his friends to what was guaranteed to be an unsavory fate.

“It's called ‘would you rather…’” Reno carried on as he watched Sephiroth swallow three mouthfuls of whiskey in one gulp.

“It's not a very catchy title.” Zack interrupted, scrunching up his face, as though trying to come up with a better one.

“I didn't come up with it!” Reno stated defensively before continuing. 

“Basically, I ask you a question and you answer it.”

“Doesn't sound too difficult.” Zack stared into space as though trying to solve a mathematics equation.

“It's not difficult at all.” Reno rolled his eyes, Gaia Zack hadn't even started drinking yet.

“Okay, Zack, would you rather suck Hojo's cock or Heidegger's?” 

Sephiroth spat out his mouth full of whiskey as he became consumed by a coughing fit.

“Ugh, neither.” Zack made no effort to disguise the awful mix of trepidation and disgust plastered across his face.

“You have to pick one.”

“Oh yuck, ugh, Heidegger I guess. Can't be as bad as Hojo.”

“Nothing is as bad as Hojo.” Sephiroth visibly grimaced at the mere thought of the man.

“He's probably done some hideous experiment on himself and now has three cocks.” Reno grimaced at his own words, disturbed by how true they likely were.

“One for each of us!” Zack chuckled as though he were talking about sucking candy and not the dick of a ghastly, modern day Frankenstein. 

“Eww!” It was Cloud's turn to grimace, Zack froze, apparently forgetting the presence of his blonde friend.

“My turn!” Zack raised his hand in the air as though he were back in soldier training class.

“Ugh… I Choose… Reno!” The soldier turned to him as he ran his eyes over the redhead.

Was he trying to think of the most hideous line up of Shinra executives to choose from?

“Palmer or…”

“Oh Gaia no.” Reno groaned as he tore the cap off of his Rocket Town Rum. After all, he was gonna need this to get through this evening.

Why did he start this game again? 

“Rufus?”

“Rufus obviously.” Reno answered, perhaps a little bit too hastily as the other three in the room stared at him.

“Wow! You didn't even hesitate with that one!”

“Oh come on! Who would pick Palmer over Rufus!” Reno shouted before drawing his bottle to his lips.

“He has a point.” Cloud conceded.

“Thanks Cloud.”

“My turn.” Sephiroth leaned forward before staring Reno straight in the eye.

Oh no.

“Rufus or Reeve? And in case you have forgotten, Reeve was the guy you were checking out at the restaurant tonight.”

“But I just went!” Reno stated defensively, even though he knew no words were gonna get him out of this one.

Reno's eyes darted between the other three in the room before taking yet another mouthful of rum and swallowing it slowly, as though he were savouring the flavour.

Or avoiding the question all together.

“I don't know, Reeve I guess.” The redhead stated as casually as his voice would allow.

Gaia forbid he should answer a question too eagerly again.

“My turn! Sephiroth, would you rather suck off Heidegger or that guy at the bottle store?” Zack butted in as Reno was glad to be left out of this one.

“I think we all know the answer to that question.”

“Eww! Why would you ever want to suck Heidegger off!?” Zack screwed up his face.

“I think your brain has turned into one of the myriad of donuts you consumed tonight Zackary, you idiot!” Sephiroth spat as his second, once again, came to the incorrect conclusion.

“I hope there isn't someone, somewhere playing this game and using us as examples of undesirability.” Reno mused as he drew his rum back to its rightful place, his lips.

“Maybe you two, but not me.” Sephiroth darted his index finger between Zack and Reno, making it clear he was talking about this tenacious duo and no one else.

“Um, rude! Reno's not that ugly.”

“Thanks Zack, I feel much better now.” The redhead rolled his eyes as sarcasm dripped from his voice like torrential rain.

“He may not be my one true love, but that doesn't mean he's not someone's!” Zack grinned like an idiot, obviously oblivious to just how insulting his words actually were.

“Thanks Zack, feeling ever better now!” Reno didn't know his sarcasm meter went even higher.

“I mean, I enjoy your blowjobs, but it's no use being good at something when you can't convince anyone to try you out.”

“Try me out? What am I Zack? The latest ‘all in one, multifunction, seven seconds till the end or your money back’ sex toy?” Reno groaned, though his rum was tasting better with every consecutive mouthful. Either that or he was more half cut than he thought.

“Sounds good! Where can I get that?” Zack didn't bother to reign in the enthusiasm in his voice.

“Ugh Gaia, you haven't even started drinking yet Zack and you're already annoying!”

Reno made a show of fossicking around under the couch.

“What are you looking for, Reno?” Cloud asked, seeming to be the only member of the group capable of genuine sincerity this evening.

“My self esteem. Let me know if you find it anywhere.”

Chapter 45

“So…” Reno began as his eyes darted between the two double beds in the hotel room.

“Who's sleeping with who?” Reno proposed, as his eyes darted from Zack, to Sephiroth before ultimately residing on Cloud.

Yes.

That is who he wanted to share with.

“I'll sleep with Cloud!” Reno announced, not giving anyone else the opportunity to answer first as he made a b line for the cadet.

“No you won't!” Sephiroth barked at him like a rabid dog before yanking the blonde to apparent safety behind him.

“It's gonna be snug.” Zack tapped his finger against his chin, as though contemplating a solution to this problem. 

Though, his face betrayed the fact that he could hardly see what the problem was.

“Yes, which means you better choose wisely.” Reno smirked as a deleterious glint flashed across his eyes.

He wasn't giving up the fight that easy.

“I'm sleeping with Seph!” Zack exclaimed, raising his arm excited in the air as though hoping the General would pick him back.

Zack's response was all the better for Reno and his plan.

“After all, he is my one true love.” Zack's voice trailed off, as though he were holding a conversation with himself.

“What did you say?” Sephiroth and Reno stated in unison before turning to face the dark haired soldier as though each were doubting what they had just heard.

“Ugh…” Zack fumbled to formulate an answer that discredited everything he had just said.

He hadn't intended to say that last part out loud.

Idiot.

“One true love?” Reno screwed up his face enough for the four of them.

“Ugh… Umm… Crap…”

“Zack, you're a shit liar.” Reno rolled his eyes at his friend's failure at mastering the basic skill of being dishonest. 

“Or… We could push the beds together and all sleep together.” Cloud suggested, veering the conversation back to the real issue on hand.

…

“Yeah!” Zack exclaimed excitedly, perhaps a little bit too enthusiastically.

Why hadn't he thought of that himself?

“I'm in the middle!” Zack exclaimed.

“No! I wanna be in the middle!”

 

*~.~*

 

“Zack.”

“What?”

“That better be your knee driving into my back and not something else.” 

“Guess again!” Zack exclaimed excitedly. 

“Get out!” Sephiroth stately bluntly, as he pointed to the door.

“It's alright, I'll just hug Spikey instead.” Zack huffed as he climbed over the General to get closer to the blonde.

“You will do no such thing!” Sephiroth sat up before giving his second the stare down.

“So… Close…” Zack whimpered as he reached out for his blonde best friend.

“Zack! What are you doing?” Sephiroth eyed the arm reaching past him with great suspicion. 

“Nothing…”

“Get back there.” Sephiroth growled as he grabbed the arm before tossing the dark haired man back down on the bed between himself and Reno.

Oh Gaia this was gonna be a long night.

 

*~.~*

 

“So what are we doing today?” Zack urged excitedly as he stuffed a whole bomberry muffin into his mouth in one go.

That was a sight none of them needed first thing in the morning as the Soldier reeled in disturbed expressions from passersby. 

“Zackary! Where is your decorum?!” Sephiroth scolded, though Zack had proven in the past that he could take large objects not just in his mouth, but also down his throat.

A fact he was invariably proud of.

“What?” The Soldier shrugged, genuinely wondering what was wrong as crumbs of muffin fell indiscriminately from his lips.

“Well, I'm going to the beach to get a tan.” Reno exclaimed, deliberately facing away from the walking, talking garbage disposal unit more commonly known as Zack. The dark haired Soldier suddenly burst out laughing, coating the table in yet another layer of crumbs. 

“What's so funny?”

“You? Tan? You're just gonna look like a boiled lobster.” The Soldier pointed straight at the seething redhead.

“Are you implying that because I’m a ginger, that I am incapable of tanning?”

“Yip!” Zack exclaimed with perhaps a little bit too much enthusiasm. 

“Oh yeah, well it's better than whatever rubbish idea you have planned.”

“I'm going on the zipline.” Zack annunciated, as though his idea was far and away superior. 

“Nevermind you two idiots, I'm taking Cloud out to see the Costa Falls, then we'll have a picnic.” Sephiroth should have known better than to let everyone know where he and Cloud were headed. With that, the General rose to his feet before whisking Cloud by the arm and leading him towards their apparent happily ever after.

“Why am I always stuck with you?” Reno meant the question to remain in his mind, but found it being spilt out onto his lips.

“Come with me on the zipline?” Zack suddenly whined as he plastered his face with his trademark puppy dog expression. 

Pathetic.

“No.”

“Pleeeease.” Zack pleaded once more, batting his eyelashes furiously.

“I wanna go to the beach.”

“We can go ziplining and then go to the beach?”

Reno supposed the man's proposal was fair.

“Alright. But don't let me fall asleep in the sun, you know what my skin is like.” 

“See! Even you know you have trouble getting a tan.”

“Shut up.”

 

*~.~*

 

“Cloud, aren't these falls simply magnificent?” Sephiroth waved his arm towards an Avalanche of translucent water as it cascaded down layers of rock.

Finally.

Peace and quiet.

He had finally inherited the environment he had so vehemently craved.

The General leaned forward, as if for no other reason than to gain a better view of the blonde sitting next to him.

“How hungry are you, my dear?”

“Because no one is around, starving.” Cloud whispered, as though ashamed at the sultry nature of his words.

“I'm always ravenous.” Sephiroth returned the blonde's suggestion as an animalistic hunger pooled in his emerald eyes.

 

*~.~*

 

“You know, you get a pretty good view from up here.” Reno confessed as they finally reached the top of the highest zipline. Why Zack didn't try one of the lowest ones first remained a mystery.

Didn't he want to get a feel of it first?

Idiot.

“Guess who I can see?” Zack giggled as though he were straight out of high school.

Reno's gaze followed the direction of the man's finger as it pointed towards the Costa Falls.

There.

“They look very, ugh, intimate.” Reno raised an eyebrow at the sight before him, though it didn't help that they were still so far away.

“Did you bring your binoculars?” Zack suddenly turned to him excitedly, panting as though he had just been chased by a pack of Nibel Wolves.

“What do you take me for Zack? An amateur?”

 

Chapter 46

“Let me see!” Zack whined as he watched the redhead peer through his binoculars. 

“No.” Reno stated, perhaps a little too sharply, clutching the binoculars as though his life depended on it.

Was Sephiroth really gonna take Cloud right there? In front of the falls? In broad fricken daylight?

That would be bold.

Not to mention hot!

“Come on! You've had your turn!” Zack continued to whine, grabbing Reno’s arm before yanking on it in a fashion that would prove to be nothing short of annoying to the redhead in question.

“Shut up Zack! They're just getting to the good bit!”

“Oh what?!”

“Shhh! Do you want Seph to be subject to your incessant whining?”

“Oh come on! He can't hear us from here!” Zack continued to howl as Reno suddenly foisted his arm free of Zack's hold.

“Really Zack? Do you not remember him groaning just the other day that he could hear Hojo sucking on a sea salt ice block from the hotel room?”

“So?”

“Our hotel is three blocks back from the beach!”

“I see your point…” Zack mulled over the dilemma, a fact that was evident to even people who had never met the soldier. No one's thoughts were written more blatantly over their face than one Zackary Fair.

“Ugh! Come on… Get to the point already.” Reno groaned impatiently as he continued to peer through the binoculars. The General had Cloud pinned over the picnic table and was threatening to undo the cadet’s trousers. 

An action to which Cloud was sure to put up no resistance. 

Perhaps Sephiroth was aware of their presence and was teasing them as much as he was teasing the blonde.

Come to think of it, that sounded exactly like something Seph would do.

“Screw this! Let's go to the beach!” Reno sighed, suddenly yanking the binoculars away from his hungry eyes.

“But we haven't even been on the zipline yet!” Zack whined as he pointed at the rope.

“Then hurry up and go now.”

 

*~.~*

 

This was the life.

Reno lay on the warm sand, his body outstretched as his mind harbored not a care in the world.

Where Zack had disappeared off to, he neither knew nor cared.

Damn he wished he'd brought his sunglasses as he rested his forearm over his eyes in an effort to shield them from the sun's relentless assault.

Reno took a deep breath before suddenly feeling himself pelted by something.

Was it raining?

No.

This was Costa Del Sol. It never rained here. Besides, these fragments felt hard, not wet.

Crunch.

Reno brushed them off with a lazy sweep of his free arm.

Crunch.

He had just put his arm to rest when he was suddenly inundated with yet another round of whatever these hard sprinkles were.

Crunch.

Maybe if he just ignored it, it would go away.

Crunch.

He was doused once more with another batch of hard sprinklings. This time one even went into his mouth.

“Oh yuck! Oh what the fuck!” Reno spat as he sat bolted upright. He glanced upward to discover Zack standing so close to him that he was practically standing right over him.

Crunch.

“I bought some popcorn, do you want some?” Zack offered, thrusting a huge bag into the redhead's face, while simultaneously spitting hard specks of what Reno now realised was popcorn, all over him.

“No Zack! Eww!” Reno grimaced as he brushed the last three rounds of predigested popcorn from his body.

“Hurry up and sit down!”

“Okay!” Zack grinned as he dive bombed the ground, swamping the redhead in a veneer of sand.

“Ugh!” Reno groaned as he now found himself brushing sand off of his pale skin, all on account of Zackary Fair.

“Reno?”

“What?” The redhead spat as he discovered sand also residing in his mouth.

“I'm bored!”

“Well, go find something to do!”

“Okay!”

Zack grinned, as though Reno had just delivered the exact answer he had anticipated before suddenly jumping on top of the redhead.

“Zack! What the hell are you doing?!”

“You said to go find something to do, so I'm doing you!”

“That's not what I meant! Besides! There's all these people around!” Reno began, waving his arm at the crowd of people occupying their immediate vicinity.

“So?” Zack smirked before driving his lips against the redhead's. The Soldier deepened the kiss as he pried the Turk's mouth open with his tongue.

Zack positioned himself squarely on top of the redhead as he began to fondle his way down the man's pale body.

Reno was steadily giving up the fight with every move Zack enacted.

Ugh, who cares?

It's not like he actually knew anyone in the immediate vicinity, right? 

Right?

“Damn it Zack! I want your tongue inside my…” Reno moaned as his hormones began to get the better of him.

“What do we have here?” A third voice suddenly entered the fray. 

That voice. 

Why?

Reno instinctively threw Zack off of him. 

“Hojo, what are you doing here?” Reno rose to his feet, if for no other reason than to occupy a less vulnerable position.

Gaia forbid that he be sprawled out like a wanton slut before the creepy Professor. 

“You do realise that such ‘unions’ don't produce offspring.” Hojo advised, leaning forward while adjusting his glasses as though attempting to get a clearer view of his latest subject.

“Though, I wonder…” Hojo scratched his chin as he spoke aloud what was going through his head.

“Yes, thank you. We have studied biology in school, you know.” Zack offered the Professor an exceedingly fake smile before collecting his bag of popcorn from the sand.

Crunch.

“Oh for Gaia’s sake stop eating that shit! No wonder you're getting fat!” Reno growled at Zack before snatching the bag straight out of the Soldier's fingers with a precision that could only belong to a Turk. 

“Yuck!” Zack spat out the mouthful he had just ingested.

“It's no good any more, there's sand all through it.” Zack whined.

“Oh gee, I wonder how that got in there.” Reno rolled his eyes.

“Don't stop on my account.” Hojo's voice rejoined the fray as Reno felt a wave of nausea rise in his stomach.

“No really, I insist.” The Professor continued, adjusting his spectacles once more.

Reno turned on his heel, making sure to have his back to the Professor as he mouthed ‘help’ to the dark haired soldier. 

“Yes, yes, offspring produced by you two would possess extremely valuable properties.” Hojo nodded as he wrapped his fingers around Reno's bicep before squeezing it, as though testing the physiological quality of his next potential subject. 

“Hey! Watch it!” The redhead growled as he instinctively pulled away from the mad professor.

“Let's get out of here!” Reno commanded as he signaled for Zack to follow him without bothering to turn around.

Chapter 47

“Sephiroth, Tseng, there is an urgent matter that requires your attention.” Rufus stated matter of factly as he slid his fingers through his hair before tossing his head back, as though he had just attained the impossible orgasm.

Sephiroth's eyes rounded on the President as the entirety of Shinra's executives sat scattered about the boardroom table.

The General had spent the entire weekend craving to see the back of Costa Del Sol and now there isn't anything he wouldn't give to be back there.

Right now.

With Cloud.

Marveling at the cascading Costa Falls before delivering the blonde his own cascading orgasm.

“What is it?” Tseng answered on behalf of the General. 

“It has come to my attention that two Shinra employees were spotted in a compromising position at Costa Del Sol.” Rufus sighed as though even he were bored by the words departing his unenthusiastic lips.

“I'm guessing these individuals are related to us somehow, otherwise I fail to see the relevance.” Tseng stated, almost as matter of factly as the President himself.

Almost.

Yet, despite the Turk's best efforts, an undeniable suspicion lurked behind his stern gaze.

It was a suspicion Sephiroth knew all too well.

“The employees in question are Zackary Fair and Reno.” Rufus stated with a sigh as he collected a folder in his fingers before prying it open.

Oh for the love of Gaia.

“I'm glad to see Reno has moved on from harassing cadets, but this is hardly better. You both know these kind of workplace relationships are unacceptable.” The President continued, his gaze trailing needlessly over the report before him.

Sephiroth bit his tongue, workplace relationships were a bit of a grey area.

He believed they were to be discouraged, not outlawed.

Besides, it wasn't as though he didn't know what was coming.

He was going to have to tell Zack off.

What a hypocrite he would be.

Who was he to do that?

On the positive side, at least that's the only thing this nark, whoever they were, saw.

Gaia forbid they witnessed what he did to the blonde cadet.

“Relationship? Ugh! That's disgusting.” Heidegger screwed up his face as though a King Zu had just shat in his coffee.

“I can think of a lot of things more disgusting than that.” Sephiroth stated before he had considered his words.

“Oh yeah? More disgusting than two guys going at it like rabbits on the beach in front of innocent beach goers?! What did they do to deserve that?” The Director continued to bellow as though he wanted the whole Shinra building to know about this sordid affair.

Sephiroth felt his groin grow tight. He could do with a bit of Zack right about now.

Impaling him with his cock, in front of an audience. 

Or Reno, squealing out his name as he pounded ruthlessly inside him.

And a pounding that boy could take.

Damn it.

And damn this meeting.

 

*~.~*

 

“Did you know there's a rumour going around that concerns you, Zackary?” Sephiroth stated as he watched his second waltz into the office before occupying the seat at his desk.

Late.

Again.

Hardly surprising, especially after a weekend away.

“Really?” Zack forced a grin to his lips, in a somewhat vague attempt to appear oblivious.

“Indeed.” Sephiroth glared at him, as though demanding that the man before him elaborate.

“Huh.” Zack shrugged as he pried open his latest edition of ‘Chocobo Tuesday’.

A silence fell over them as Zack watched the General through the corner of his eye, while simultaneously flipping the pages of his magazine.

Though, it was clear to both soldier's in the room that Zack was clearly not reading the magazine.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Zack forced the words from his lips, not daring to glance up from his magazine.

“Aren't you curious about this rumor?”

“Umm… Not really.” Zack hesitated as he blatantly lied to the silver haired man. 

“Is that so?”

A silence fell between them as Zack continued to turn the pages with a methodical precision.

Too precise to be in any way authentic.

Especially for Zackary Fair.

Though it was apparent to anyone with a set of eyes that he was not actually reading the magazine.

“Does it involve Reno by any chance?” The soldier's voice seemed to grow quieter with every word he spoke. By the time he reached the end of his sentence, the General could hardly hear him.

Even with his enhanced hearing.

“As a matter of fact, it does.”

“Huh.”

“You two were spotted going at it on a crowded beach in Costa Del Sol.” Sephiroth finally elaborated, quickly growing bored of this game of cat and mouse.

“We weren't going at it, we were just making out!” Zack stated defensively, seeming to have found his voice again.

“That's not how it was portrayed in the executives meeting this morning.”

“Seph I swear that's all we did!”

“I believe you.”

“You do?” Zack perked up at this promise of confidence. 

Sephiroth eyed the dark haired man with sudden suspicion, as though second guessing whether it was wise to trust him.

 

*~.~*

 

Oh great.

Monday.

Ugh.

Today was the day he was gonna have to face Tseng after that embarrassing 'running around naked’ incident at Costa Del Sol.

Maybe he could just not turn up.

No.

What was he thinking? He had to go.

He was paid to be there.

Plus he had to somehow get his EMR back. After all, how was he supposed to do his job without it?

Reno trudged into the office, his eyes darting around the room before falling upon the only other occupant.

“Rude!” The redhead exclaimed with perhaps too much enthusiasm.

“How was Costa Del Sol?”

“Great!”

“By the way, before I forget, Tseng is looking for you.”

Reno's heart sunk at his partner's words.

“What did you do this time, partner?” Rude sighed as though bracing himself for the worst, yet he hardly seemed surprised. It wasn't as though Reno could go five minutes without getting himself into some kind of trouble.

“What do you mean this time?” Reno shrugged, as though pretending this kind of thing wasn't becoming a habit.

Rude raised an eyebrow, as though assuming his partner would know him better than that by now before drawing his coffee to his lips.

“Ugh, you know, it's kinda a long story.” The redhead waved dismissively at his partner in crime.

“Reno,” Tseng's voice swept through the room like a tsunami.

“Crap!” Reno seized up, not only at the sound of his boss's voice but the summoning of his name.

“I hardly recognized you with your clothes on.”

A strange gasping and coughing noise suddenly came from Rude’s desk as he spat out his mouthful of coffee.

“Oh yeah, about that…” Reno began before stalling, suddenly realizing he had no idea how to complete that sentence.

“What?” Rude yelled out, his voice louder than any of the three of them had anticipated as they turned to face him.

“He's kidding.” Reno stated though even he knew his face was betraying him.

“Why were you, Lieutenant Fair and General Sephiroth running around Costa Del Sol without any clothes on?”

“They were stolen.” Even as the words left his lips, they sounded ridiculous. Only the most ridiculous part is that his words were the truth.

 

Chapter 48

“Seph…?” Zack began, sounding decidedly more meek than the General had ever known the man. Which could mean only one thing…

Zack wanted something from him.

“What?” Sephiroth stated firmly as his eyes darted unwaveringly over the report splayed out on the desk before him.

“Can you come with me?” The somewhat forced grin smothered over Zack's lips was enough to make the General feel nauseated.

“Come with you where?” Sephiroth's eyes darted to his second, he thought it pertinent to ask, otherwise Gaia knows where they'd end up.

“I'm going to the pet shop.” Zack's sickly fake grin morphed into one resembling feigned innocence.

“Why?” The words had left the General's lips despite his better judgment.

Did he really want to know?

“I want a pet, obviously.”

Sephiroth took a deep breath, already feeling sorry for this unknown pet.

“What are you going to get? A dog?”

“Nope.”

“A cat?”

“Nope!”

Gaia, he hated guessing games.

“A bunny?”

“No!”

“A mouse?”

“No.”

“Goldfish?”

“Nup! You'll never guess it!” Zack teased as he now spun around playfully on his office chair.

“What is it Zackary?!” Sephiroth snapped as he suddenly sent his pen flying across his desk.

“A snake!” 

Oh Gaia.

What could possibly go wrong?

“I got my eye on this bright green Boa Constrictor.”

“Are you sure that's a wise choice Zackary?” Sephiroth's emerald eyes drilled into the Soldier as he shook his head, making it clear that he thought it a ghastly idea.

“Why? It's just a snake! Besides, I've had my eye on it for ages!”

“You mean to say this creature has garnered your attention for longer than five minutes?” Sephiroth raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Well yeah! It's been on my mind since yesterday.”

Wow.

That was an eternity in Zack's attention span.

Sephiroth took a deep breath, as though trying to determine if it were either wise or worth elaborating to his second how dreadful of an idea this was.

“I don't think you can be trusted with a pet Zackary.” Sephiroth shook his head before forcing a sigh from his lips.

“What? Do you think I'm gonna lose it?”

“Losing it would be the most preferable outcome.”

“What do you mean?”

“At least then it would have a chance at survival.”

“What do you think I'm gonna do? Forget to feed it?”

Sephiroth took a deep breath, as though preparing himself for a war of words.

“That's but one possibility of many.”

“Ye have little faith!”

“No. I have no faith.” The General stated abruptly.

“Oh come on!”

“How quickly you forget about old Rascal, your pet mouse, do you remember what happened to him Zackary?”

“Umm…” Zack hesitated as his eyes darted to the surface of his bare desk.

Gaia the man was an appalling liar.

“I'm sure he enjoyed his little journey getting sucked up into your vacuum cleaner.” Sephiroth elaborated, deriving a concerning amount of pleasure out of reminding Zack of this unpleasant memory.

“You don't really believe that story do you?”

“No. I don't.”

“So you have faith in me?”

“No. I find it difficult to believe you would so much as pick up a vacuum cleaner, let alone use one.”

Zack's jaw dropped open as he fumbled around, trying to summon words, any words.

“Rude!”

 

*~.~*

 

“So where is this pet shop Zackary?” Sephiroth sighed, not bothering to extract the boredom from his voice as they strode down the street.

“Right here!” Zack pointed at what looked more like a cafe than an actual pet shop before grabbing Sephiroth by the arm and yanking him inside.

“There it is!” The soldier pointed at a long green snake, as it clung to the branch of a fake tree in a distant corner.

Of course it was right at the back of the store.

“I'll go get it down while you pay for it.” Zack grinned, not waiting to incur the General's wrath as he darted to the back of the store.

“Pay for it?!” Sephiroth bellowed.

Zack had failed to mention that the General was also his personal bank.

“That will be 20,000 gil, thank you Sir.” The cashier chimed in from behind his over crowded counter before the silver haired man had a chance to sliver out of this mess himself.

“20,000 gil!” Sephiroth spat as he was sent reeling.

“Obviously I can't afford it, that's why you're paying for it.” Zack offered the man the most fake, put-on smile as he held the Boa Constrictor in his arms as though it were a cat.

“Won't you need a glass case for it?”

“It's okay, I already got it yesterday!”

 

*~.~*

 

Zack ran into the cafeteria, his eyes searched the sea of infantry, soldiers and regular office workers before spotting a certain redheaded Turk. He raced over, sliding between the lunch queue and people loitering with their food as they tried to find somewhere to sit. Why was the seat next to Reno always available? 

Huh…

Zack shrugged as he soon claimed said seat right next to the redhead. Unfortunately he failed to slow down in time and sent the redhead flying to the floor.

“For fucks sake Zack!” Reno groaned as he pried himself up off the floor.

“Come see my snake!” Zack bounced excitedly on his seat.

“I've already seen it. Many, many times.” Reno raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to deliver the soldier a sultry wink. Though, the redhead had failed to anticipate the fact that his words came out louder than intended as a silent lull fell across the cafeteria.

“Are you sick of me?” Zack's face was the picture of raw disappointment. 

“Never.” Reno stated without hesitation as he reclaimed his seat.

 

*~.~*

 

“Can you see it? Can you see it?!”

“See what?” Reno screwed up his face in confusion as his eyes darted between Zack and the contents of the man's apartment.

“My snake!”

“Oh you mean an actual snake?”

“Yeah! What did you think I meant?” Zack's confusion could rival the redhead's as he pondered the alteria meaning behind the Turk's words.

“Nothing.” Reno mumbled dismissively as he followed Zack's eyes to a glass case near the doorway.

“So uh, where is it?” Reno tapped the glass as though doing so would make the reptile magically appear.

“It's right…” Zack began as he pressed his face up to the glass.

“Wait… Where is it?” Zack made no effort to mask his panic as his eyes darted around the glass case once more before proceeding to dance around the room.

“Shit!”

“Oh Gaia Zack! You've only had it for five minutes and you've already lost it.”

“Argh! Don't tell Seph!” Zack pleaded as desperation etched itself across his features.

“You know I won't.”

Chapter 49

Zack laid on his bed as his eyes darted between several objects in his room. The vent duct above his head, the mako pipeline trailing down the corner of his room and finally, the door.

It could be anywhere.

It didn't take a genius to realise that this living arrangement wasn't gonna work.

He hadn't even bothered to turn the lights out as his eyes scaled the room once more.

He was a soldier for Gaia’s sake, why was he so afraid of some Boa Constrictor? 

Because it could strangle him to death in his sleep.

That's why.

Zack suddenly sat up on his bed as though he had just received a lightning rod to his backside, courtesy of Ramuh.

His eyes darted to the clock adorning his otherwise underwhelming wall.

2100.

What was Reno up to?

 

*~.~*

 

“So, uh…” Zack began, a forced smile plastered across his lips as Reno pried open his apartment door.

“No.” Reno stated, perhaps a little too instinctively as his eyes traced the desperation plastered over Zack's face.

“I haven't said anything yet!” The words divorced themselves from the soldier's lips at an incredible rate of knots, barely waiting for Reno to have his front door fully extended.

“You didn't need to.” Reno sighed as though anticipating the uphill battle he knew was coming.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Zack spat the words out of his lips anyway, despite the impressive psychic abilities of the Turk standing before him. 

“No.” The redhead responded, perhaps a little too hastily as Zack wondered if the redhead had even considered his request.

“Please!” Zack pleaded, almost desperately as he plastered a forced smile onto his lips.

“I said no.” Reno reiterated as he eyed the soldier dubiously.

“I'll make dinner for you.”

Oh Gaia.

What could possibly go wrong?

“Zack its 930, I had dinner three hours ago.”

“Then I'll make dessert?” The dark haired man suggested, his superimposed smile growing even more ridiculous with every passing second.

The redhead raised an eyebrow, that was when it suddenly dawned on him.

“You're not scared, are you Zack?” Reno made no effort to wipe the amused smirk from his lips.

“No! I'm not scared of anything!” Zack's words might have been convincing if his eyes hadn't darted across every possible place where a snake could hide.

“So how about it?”

“I can't Zack.”

“What? Why?”

“I got someone coming over.” Reno admitted as he lowered his voice, as though hoping the man wouldn't hear him.

“What? Who?!” The Soldier's jaw dropped as he leaned in closer to the redhead.

“It's no one you know.” Reno murmured as he stuck his head out into the hallway, as though afraid someone might be eavesdropping. 

“Who?” Zack's voice had transcended an octave as a devious glint flashed across his eyes.

“Okay it is someone you know.” Reno admitted, lowering his voice as though hoping Zack would too.

“Who?”

Nope.

“I don't think I should tell you.” Reno whispered, trying to decide which was more dangerous, leaving Zack outside to announce his secrets to the world or letting him inside his apartment. 

What if he didn't leave?

“Who?” Zack continued his quest for gossip.

“Promise you won't be mad?” Reno sighed before finally taking a step back, allowing the soldier to enter with great reluctance. 

“Who?”

Reno sunk his teeth into his lip, as though contemplating if it were wise to reveal his  date night plans to the soldier.

“I'll give you one clue and if you can't get it from that, then tough luck.” A wayward grin crept across the redhead's lips, as though he had just discovered a way out before tossing the door shut.

“Okay! What's the clue?” Zack spat excitedly as he made no effort to mask the impatience in his voice.

“They are one of your ex's.”

“Omg uh, is it….” Zack began, tapping his finger almost violently against his chin as though trying to turn his brain on.

“Come on Zack, it can't be that hard.”

“Is it Kunsel?”

“No.”

“That cute tour guide who took us snowboarding down the Great Glacier?”

“I didn't know you went out with him.”

“Oops. Well, ugh, Rufus?”

“Rufus isn't one of your exs.” Reno screwed up his face, as though both confused and disgusted by the man's words.

“Uh, well, define ex.” Zack winced, scratching his head as though trying desperately to appear innocent.

“Did you sleep with him?” Reno eyed the dark haired man dubiously, as though trying to discover the fraction of truth behind a myriad of lies.

“Not exactly.”

“What? What do you mean?” Reno’s dubious expression was now being contaminated by an air of agitation. 

Damn Zack was vague some times.

“It was a dare when I was a cadet.”

“What dare?” 

“I got dared to sneak into Rufus’s bed while he was asleep and stay there all night. By the way, did you know he sleeps naked?” Zack had the wherewithal to whisper that last part as though it were his own secret.

Reno didn't know which was worse, this story or the fact he already knew Rufus slept nude.

Either way, this was getting worse by the second.

“Damn it Zack! I just don't believe these stories of yours.” Reno shook his head dismissively, resisting the urge to toss the Soldier outside on his ass.

“No seriously! I'm not lying!” Zack waved his hands out defensively. 

“Oh yeah? Then why don't you prove it.”

“How am I supposed to prove that? It happened ages ago!”

“By doing it again. Obviously.”

Zack stood silently, as though seriously contemplating the redhead's proposition.

Reno couldn't help but relish in the calming silence, fully aware of just how temporary it was.

He braced himself as a gleam danced across Zack's eyes.

The storm was approaching.

“Alright. I accept your challenge on one condition.”

Reno took a deep breath, it wasn't as though he needed to ask what exactly this ‘condition’ would be.

His date for the evening.

“Ugh fine! It's Vincent.” Reno relinquished the words from his lips as though he had just failed an interrogation session.

“Omg what?!” Zack's jaw fell to the floor.

“Are you mad?” Reno winced slightly as he braced himself for the wrath of Zack.

“You totally have to let me watch!” 

“What?” 

“What time is he coming over? I'll grab some snacks and go hide in your closet!”

“Zack!” Reno's jaw fell open and for the first time that evening, he was lost for words.

“Trust me, he won't mind, he's got a huge fetish for that kind of thing!”

“I don't know Zack.”

“Pleeeeaaaaaaaase!” Zack whined as he strolled into the redhead's kitchen as though it were his own.

“Ugh, fine.” Reno relented, after all, it was easier than arguing with the soldier with no kill switch.

Chapter 50

“Did you hear that?” Zack asked as he pulled a fourth packet of chocobo flavored potato chips out of Reno's cupboard.

“Hear what?” Reno raised an eyebrow, it wasn't as though it was possible to hear anything above the scrunching sound of chip packets being tossed, ever so unceremoniously, onto the kitchen bench top.

“I dunno, it sounded kinda like someone knocking on the door.” Zack shrugged, clearly foraging for food was a higher priority than entertaining other people's guests.

“Oh Gaia he's here.” Reno muttered, more to himself than his present company.

“Don’t you have any flavours other than chocobo? Crinkle cut Cactuar is so much better, they actually look like little Cactuars.” Zack whined as he discarded yet another packet upon the bench.

“Ugh, shut up Zack.” Reno suddenly spat, grabbing the nearest packet of chips with one hand and Zack's flailing arm with the other.

Why had he agreed to this?

It wasn't as though this could end any way other than badly.

“Where are we going?” Zack made no effort to mask the fusion of curiosity laced with concern lurking in his eyes.

“I think you mean, where are you going?” Reno clarified as he dragged the Soldier into his bedroom before haphazardly yanking open his wardrobe door.

“I don't think I need to remind you to be as silent as a strangled moogle.” Reno hissed what could only be construed as a threat. Though, if he truly thought the words didn't require stating, then why were his lips reciting them?

Clearly they needed to be said.

The redhead tossed the man into the confined space with a disturbing lack of hesitation. 

“Now sit down, shut up and don't come out of this wardrobe for anything, got it?” Reno laid down the law, not waiting for a response from the Soldier before swiftly shutting the door.

The Turk wasted no time heading for the front door of his apartment. 

He took a deep breath before prying open the door.

“Hey.” Vincent stood leaning against the door frame. He permeated an air of calm around himself, one Reno wished Zack would emulate. Any effort at doing so only seemed desperate and contrived.

“Hey.” Reno winked as stepped aside to allow the man entrance.

“What have you been up to?” Vincent began as his eyes darted around the redhead's apartment, as though determining if it were satisfactory. 

“Nothing much, you?”

“Nothing much.”

A silence settled between the two, a silence that grew more awkward with every passing second.

“You know Reno, I could have sworn I heard voices in here before you opened the door to let me in.” Vincent raised an eyebrow as his dark eyes penetrated the redhead's sapphire orbs.

“Ugh, that was probably me talking to myself.” Reno confessed with a vaguely convincing shrug as he refused all instinct to glance in the direction of his bedroom.

“More like arguing with yourself.” Vincent offered the redhead a skeptical, yet not entirely unamused expression.

Reno opened his mouth to speak, yet words evaded his lips.

“Do you talk to yourself often?” Vincent closed the gap between the two as though he were a swooping bat.

“What can I say, I'm good company.” Reno smirked, backing the gesture up with a wink.

An ever so subtle chuckle resounded from the bedroom.

Damn it.

Maybe Vincent hadn't heard it. Yet even as Reno contemplated the next few seconds, he was sure he already knew the answer.

The dark haired man's gaze narrowed, as though growing skeptical before venturing towards the bedroom.

“So… Do you wanna fuck?” Reno proposed suddenly, as though the words had left his lips without consent, at the behest of panic.

Vincent's pace drew to a stall before glancing over his shoulder. The man's crimson eyes fell upon the redhead, as though contemplating his proposal.

“I thought you'd never ask.” A curious, some might even say, intriguing smile threatened the corners of Vincent's lips as he watched the redhead venture towards him, as though he were about to devour him.

“Good.” A hunger began to consume the redhead's sapphire eyes, one that was swiftly becoming undeniable as he closed the bedroom door behind him, not bothering to look as he did so.

Reno sauntered towards the ex-Turk, tracing his tongue along his lower lip before ultimately sitting down on the bed.

“So, where do you want to start?” Vincent's gaze remained affixed to the redhead, who was now leaning back on the bed, his legs spread apart almost haphazardly, yet there was no denying the inviting undertone.

Crunch.

Reno froze, resisting the instinctual urge to glance at the wardrobe door.

Damn it Zack.

Maybe by some miracle Vincent had not heard that crunching noise.

Crunch.

Oh for the love of Gaia.

Reno resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Zack's typical antics.

Maybe if he distracted Vincent enough, he wouldn't notice anything outside the realm of Reno.

Crunch.

“Plough me, big boy.” Reno whispered hotly into the ear of the Ex Turk as he grabbed him by chest before yanking the dark haired man on top of him.

Shock flashed for but a second across the dark haired man's eyes, even he couldn't deny that this sudden escalation had caught him off guard.

“Straight to the good stuff.” Vincent raised an eyebrow as he shook his head, though he hardly seemed disappointed. 

Reno threw the man onto the bed before climbing on top of him, half of the redhead desired nothing more than to be pulverized by the man beneath him.

Crunch.

The other half wanting nothing more than to strangle the man in the wardrobe.

Crunch.

“Did you hear that?” Vincent furrowed his eyebrows as he turned in the direction of the noise.

“Nope.” Reno lied as his fingers made a b line for Vincent's belt.

“It sounded like…” Vincent began, his eyes searching the room, as though trying to find an accurate comparison. 

Reno pried Vincent's belt open before tearing into the man's zip.

“Someone eating something noisy, like popcorn.” Vincent deduced as he rose to his feet before striding towards the wardrobe.

Even as his fingers reached for the wardrobe door, who he would find on the other side was a mystery to absolutely no one.

“Chips actually.” A third voice entered the fray from the wardrobe floor as Reno rolled his eyes.

The game was up.

That is if it was ever really on in the first place.

“Or to be precise, chocobo flavoured. Not that they look much like Chocobo's.” Zack surmised, holding a specimen up to the light as though inspecting it.

“Well they certainly don't now that you've digested them all.” Reno muttered, not bothering to keep his voice down as he conceded defeat.

This rendezvous was at an end.

“What are you doing here, Zack?” Vincent began, hardly seeming all that phased by the soldier's presence as he watched the man emerge from the closet.

“Eating.” Zack grinned, as though what he was doing wasn't obvious enough already. 

“Yeah well, we're about to eat something too.” Vincent murmured, his eyes darting from the Soldier to the Turk with expert precision.

“Oh yeah? Chips as well?” Zack grinned excited as he shunted the bag into Vincent's face.

“No,” the ex Turk began slowly, as though waiting for the soldier to catch his drift.

Silence ensued.

“He means each other.” Reno chimed in with a wink, toying with the buttons on his shirt as though threatening to undo them.

“Oh, well, don't stop on my account.” Zack's grin grew a fraction larger as he stuffed another chip into his mouth.

Chapter 51

“Do you know what Vinny's secret super power is?” Zack stated excitedly, as though he were yelling out the answers on quiz night at Goblins before stuffing yet another chip into his mouth.

“Oh Gaia, don't ever call me that again.” Vincent made no effort to disguise the disgust plastered across his face.

“I'll give you a clue.” Zack began, choosing to ignore the ex Turk as he tapped his index finger against his chin as though he were deep in thought.

Was that the clue? What did tapping his finger have to do with anything? 

“That's not a very good clue, Zack.” Reno ran a skeptical eye over the soldier, as though trying to determine if in fact, the man's brain was made up entirely of chips.

“Thats not the clue! I haven't given it yet!”

“Well hurry up!” Reno growled, making no effort to quell his impatience. 

“Three seconds or less.” Zack spat out in one succinct breath before a grin returned to his lips, confirming he was only too pleased with himself.

Reno's eyes narrowed upon the soldier as though trying to determine if he were serious.

“Three seconds?” The redhead repeated softly, his voice barely above a whisper as though he were trying to decipher the code to Hojo's vault.

Surely that had to be a gross exaggeration. 

“Yip! Three seconds and your eyes are as good as rolled back.” Zack grinned as though he were guaranteeing his words himself.

Three seconds?

“Oh and Vinny is big, like, real big!” Zack added a little too enthusiastically. 

“Zack!” Vincent visibly grimaced, half mortified yet half flattered.

“Like bigger than Seph big!” The gap between Zack's hands grew as though to demonstrate this fact.

“Oh whatever! No one is bigger than Sephiroth!” Reno screwed up his face in disbelief. 

Hmm…

But if he were right…

Bigger than Sephiroth…?

Now this, he would have to try.

“Time is a wasting!” Reno offered Vincent an encouraging smile before sliding his hand down the man's trousers.

The act was conducted with such intense haste, that it even caught Reno himself off guard.

Though, he didn't exactly see anyone complaining.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” The redhead smirked as he wrapped his fingers around the man's hard cock.

“You're in for one wild ride.” Vincent's crimson eyes delved deep into the redhead's, as though determining if the man had the endurance to survive this encounter.

“I'll hold you to that.” Reno winked at the man before offering him a sultry grin.

Vincent slid Reno's trousers down to his ankles in one foul swoop.

“You're making this too easy.”

“You like easy, do ya?” Reno teased, trailing his tongue along his lower lip before rolling over onto his stomach. He aimed his bare backside at the ex-Turk, making it clear that he was offering himself in no uncertain terms.

Crunch.

Vincent fell to his knees as if on cue before twirling his tongue around the redhead's opening.

“Ngh!” Reno cried out, as fragmented waves of pleasure began to course through his body.

“I've barely started, Reno.” Vincent chuckled, making no attempt to disguise his amusement. 

“You know, Reno really likes it when you finger his opening while sucking on his balls.” Zack began as though he were some tour guide on a Safari.

Crunch.

“Thank you Zack.” Vincent groaned, though it was apparent to everyone in the room that he harbored very little interest in the man's words.

“You're welcome, I do love being helpful, you know. By the way Reno, Vincent loves it when you grind your ass against him while he's rimming you.”

Crunch.

“Zack, are you gonna stand there giving us pointers all night?” Reno's sapphire eyes narrowed in on the man, as though disgruntled by the presence of this uninvited third wheel.

“No?” The enthusiasm fell from the soldier's expression, his gaze darting between the redhead and the dark haired man as though genuinely confused as to why they wouldn't want his advice.

“I'm just here to observe.” Zack clarified, though his words hardly sounded convincing. 

“Oh really?” Vincent's eyes narrowed upon the man standing there eating a copious amount of chips.

“Okay maybe join in later.” The Soldier reluctantly confessed before stuffing another chip in his mouth.

“Ngh!” Reno cried out as Vincent drove his tongue inside the redhead.

“That's nothing! Wait until he starts pounding you with his Galian Beast!” Zack grinned excitedly, apparently he loved the Galian Beast more than anyone.

“Zackary! Haven't you got some more pressing matter to attend to?” Vincent's tongue vacated Reno's body for a moment before collecting his balls with its grasp.

“Nope!” 

Vincent suddenly rose to his feet before drawing his cock against Reno's opening.

“Finally getting to the good stuff!” Zack bounced excitedly around the room before sitting down on the edge of the bed as though he were at the cinema.

“Nah actually, this angle sucks.” Zack conceded before standing up, bounding around the room again, ultimately plonking himself down on a seat in the corner of the room.

“Much better! You know, it works even better when you're both naked.” Zack suggested, leaning forward as though afraid he'd miss the climax.

Vincent sank through the threshold of Reno's body, extracting a groan from the redhead as he penetrated his depths. Reno was hungry and making no secret of it as he ground himself against the older man's groin. 

“Ngh! Vincent!” Reno moaned suddenly, almost violently, as though forgetting himself as waves of pleasure began to seize control of his body.

Crunch.

The older man thrust into the redheaded Turk, burying himself completely inside Reno's body.

“Your so tight Reno.” Vincent moaned as he released himself inside the redhead.

“Pffttt! Hahaha!” Zack burst into a fit of rawkus laughter.

“What's so funny Zack?”

“Tight? Tight? Reno is a lot of things Vinny, but tight ain't one of them! He can swallow Seph whole without any prep!”

“Zack!” Reno growled as his eyes shot daggers at the Soldier.

“So I've heard.” Vincent smirked, though those facts hardly dissuaded him.

“My turn!” Zack stood up suddenly, discarding his packet of chips in favour of the redhead.

Chapter 52

 

Oh no.

Here he was again.

In his apartment with a snake on the loose. 

Hanging out in Reno’s apartment hadn't solved anything.

Maybe he should have agreed to do that Rufus dare tonight.

Either way he'd be dealing with a snake of some kind.

Zack gazed up at his bedroom ceiling, it reflected back at him the very nature of his entire apartment. 

Uncouth and barely inhabitable.

Of course, he only had himself to blame for that.

In the half dark, every odd tangled shape appeared disturbingly snake-like, pipes, frayed wires, his packet of actual snake shaped candies. Why had he even bought those?

The Soldier's eyes swept across the room once more, an act he'd hoped would alleviate his anxieties, proved only to enhance them.

Maybe he should just sleep with the lights on!

Or…

Zack suddenly sat bolt upright before jumping out of bed.

He raced into the living room as though afraid his Boa Constrictor might descend upon him at any moment.

He grasped his television remote before turning it on without hesitation. 

This will help take his mind off of his current debacle. 

Vast, still swamps and plains appeared on the screen before him. It seemed almost familiar but he couldn't quite place where he had seen it before.

Nevermind.

Ah, that's better.

It must be a documentary of some kind.

 

While these grasslands may appear tranquil and serene, lurking in a swamp in the southwest quadrant resides a beast so hideous, no one dares go near it. The Mythril Mine on the far side has been long abandoned, some say it's due to the presence of this hideous creature lurking just outside the entrance. Today we will be hunting this beast of legend, the mighty Midgardsormr!

 

Midgardsormr? He'd never even heard of it.

Zack shrugged as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. What was this monster?

As long as it wasn't some giant snake!

But Mythril mine huh?

Where had he heard that name before? 

Zack's eyes narrowed upon the screen, as though doing so might jog some distant memory. 

Oh yes! Mythril mine!

He'd done some mission there a while ago with Reno!

But no one mentioned anything about some monster living in the swamp!

It's probably nothing.

The soldier flopped back down on the couch, his eyes not once leaving the television screen.

 

While no one has managed to capture evidence of the mighty Midgarsormr, several eyewitness accounts have surfaced over the years. This here is an artist's impression of the giant beast.

 

Zack's eyes widened in apparent terror.

The drawing was long and slender, no arms, no legs.

It was a giant bloody snake.

Argh! For Gaia’s sake!

Oh that was it!

Zack sat up, switched the TV off before bolting from his apartment.

 

*~.~*

 

“What are you doing here Zackary? It's the middle of the night.” Sephiroth groaned as his eyes traced the form of the man before him. It was as though he were deciding whether it were wise to let the man inside of his apartment or not.

“I thought we could have a sleep over.” Zack offered the man the biggest grin his lips would allow as he clutched his stuffed chocobo in his left arm and his blanket in his right.

“Why?” The General narrowed his gaze as he shook his head slightly, though whether it was out of disapproval or blatant disbelief remained unclear.

“Because I'm bored!” Zack whined as he stamped his right foot on the ground.

“Well I'm not bored!” Sephiroth growled, grasping the door handle in preparation to slam the door shut.

“Wait! Wait! Wait!”

“Go play with your snake.” Sephiroth sighed as though bored himself before shooing the man away as though he were a dog.

“But Seph!” Zack whined before stalling.

It wasn't like Zack to be this desperate to stay over at his place.

The General eyed the soldier with great suspicion.

“What's this really about Zackary?” 

“Nothing!” 

Sephiroth shook his head, his second never had been good at lying.

“You've lost it, haven't you?” The General sighed, though no part of him actually required an answer from the man to know the truth.

“No!” Zack shouted, a little too instinctively. 

“Now it's running around loose in your apartment and you have no idea where it is.”

“No!”

“And now you're too scared to sleep there.”

“Did Reno tell you? He's got such a big mouth.”

“Oh, you don't have to tell me.”

“So… Can I stay?” Zack put on his best puppy dog expression, it was as though he were pleading for his life. 

A groan clawed its way out of Sephiroth's lips, defying all resistance in the process.

“Yey! I knew you'd say yes!” Zack grinned excitedly before racing past the General and into his apartment, as though afraid the man might suddenly change his mind.

 

*~.~*

 

“Heeeey Seph..?”

“What?”

“Do you ever wish you were a girl?”

“Zackary, shut up.” The General groaned, realizing he was losing precious minutes of sleep over this nonsense.

“Sometimes I do,” the Soldier confessed as he turned over to face the General laying next to him.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, quickly realizing he wasn't about to get any sleep, anytime soon.

“I would totally work at the Honeybee Inn if I was a girl!”

“You could work there right now. You don't have to be a girl for that.”

“Yeah but, I want attention Seph! Girls get waaaay more attention.”

Why?

Why had he thought it a good idea to let Zackary into his apartment for the night?

He'd rather take his chances with that bloody snake.

Maybe he should just spend the night in Zackary’s apartment and he can stay here.

Actually that wasn't a bad idea.

Although…

Seeing as Zack was here, he might as well be put to good use.

“So you want attention, do you Zackary?”

The soldier eyed the man dubiously, as though detecting an ulterior train of thought.

“Depends.”

“I'll make you feel like a woman.” The General stated bluntly, as though Zack had no say in the matter.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean?” Sephiroth suddenly lurched himself onto top of the soldier, as though he were a starving predator striking its prey.

“Are you gonna marry me?” Zack suddenly blurted out.

“Marry you?” Sephiroth screwed up his face at the mere prospect.

“I'm talking about sex Zackary, sex. Right here, right now.” Sephiroth growled impatiently, as though he were impersonating a grassland wolf. 

“I guess that's okay for now, but I'm not gonna wait forever you know.” Zack tusked, as though expecting more wholesome behavior from the General.

Chapter 53

“Zackary,” Sephiroth sighed as he glared down at his blunt pencil. Maybe he should just sharpen it with Masamune.

The General reached behind his back, his fingers in search of his elusive weapon, only to turn up empty handed.

Wait.

It was still Gaia knows where.

Damn Heidegger. 

What a bastard.

The General gritted his teeth, gripping his pencil with an unrelenting grasp until it finally snapped, giving even himself a slight fright. 

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

“It wasn't me!” Zack suddenly declared from his desk, shunting his ‘connect the dots’ chocobo puzzle away from himself as though it were incriminating evidence.

“What wasn't you?” Sephiroth's emerald eyes descended upon the young soldier.

Obviously he couldn't be referring to the broken pencil, that was so blatantly the General's doing.

“Hmm… Nothing?” Zack gave the General a confused expression, as though his sudden outburst had been a complete work of fiction engineered by his overactive imagination. 

“Don't act dumb Zackary.” Sephiroth resisted the urge to audibly groan, his impatience growing close to boiling point.

“Well, uh, you know, it was kinda just sitting there on the kitchen bench and I…” Zack began timidly, his voice growing smaller with every word forced through his lips.

“What the hell are you talking about Zackary?” If Sephiroth was impatient before, he was ropeable now.

“I thought if I just ate it, then I wouldn't have to look at it.” Zack shrugged as if this was a perfectly normal course of action.

“What? That is quite possibly the dumbest reason I have ever heard for eating something Zackary. You didn't eat because you were hungry perhaps?”

“Nope!” Zack grinned as though his actions were something to be proud of.

“Nevermind that, what did you eat?” 

Why was his second always so damn vague?

“Uh… Nothing?” Zack winced sheepishly.

“You are good at a lot of things Zackary, but lying isn't one of them.” Sephiroth stopped short of rolling his eyes.

“Like what? What am I good at?” Zack grinned like an idiot, as though he were taunting the General into saying something he would later regret.

Sephiroth remained still, as though pretending he hadn't just heard the last words spoken by his second.

Now that he thought about it, what was Zackary good at?

…

…

“Well?” Zack prompted as they both descended into a silent abyss.

“What did you eat Zackary?” Sephiroth reiterated, clearly deciding that a change of topic was required.

“Ugh…”

“What did you eat?” Sephiroth drilled holes into the soldier as though he were a Wutaian ninja under interrogation. 

“Just that Banora White apple cake on your kitchen bench that someone clearly forgot to put in the fridge.”

“Zackary, that wasn't an apple cake! It was a vegetable cake for Rufus’s birthday brunch today.”

“Eww yuck! Vegetables? In a cake? Why? I thought it tasted bad, but come on! Eww.” Zack screwed up his face, running his tongue over every square inch of his teeth as though trying to expel all evidence of vegetable.

“If it was so bad, then why did you keep eating it?”

“Because it was cake.” Zack shrugged as though this answer was obvious.

“You know that Rufus is on a health kick, hence the vegetable cake.”

“He'll thank me later, trust me. That was gross. Who even baked it?” 

“I did.” Sephiroth growled as though making no attempt to disguise his rising fury.

“Oops.” Zack murmured sheepishly, wishing he could run back and hide under his blankie.

“Nevermind that, you have been assigned a mission.”

“Really?!” Zack sat up excitedly, though his actions had less to do with the mission and more to do with an escape route.

“Yes.”

“Well, where?!”

“Bone Village.”

“Bone Village? Sounds promising.” Zack giggled as though the General had said a naughty word.

“Not that kind of bone.” Sephiroth spied the man with great agitation in his eyes, as though he had just inherited a child for a second in charge.

“It's an archeological site.” Sephiroth clarified, taking a disturbing amount of delight in watching the enthusiasm drain from Zack's eyes.

Ugh! What?! Isn't that just full of old fossils?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, boring! Why don't they send an actual fossil like Heidegger?”

“You are needed to protect an archeological excavation team from monsters.”

“So, who's going with me?” 

“No one.”

“What?” Zack appeared aghast at the mere prospect. 

“It's one soldier tasking Zackary. You will more than suffice.”

“But what if I get lonely? Who will I talk to?”

“Just do your chocobo puzzle.” Sephiroth stated bluntly as he made no effort to hide his agitation at Zack's incessant whining.

“So when do I leave?”

“Your helicopter departs in 34 minutes.”

Zack choked on Gaia knows what as he sat up, coughing furiously to clear his obstructed throat.

Sephiroth sighed as though bored with this entire scenario before rising to his feet and striding towards the soldier.

He gave the man a swift karate chop to the back.

“Thanks Seph!” Zack saluted the man before stumbling towards the door.

“Half an hour! I gotta get ready! I gotta pack my bag, get some food, say goodbye to Spikey, say goodbye to Reno, say goodbye to you…”

“Zack, it's not your funeral. You'll be gone for four hours!”

Zack grinned as he bolted for the door before suddenly stalling.

“What is it?”

“I still don't have my buster sword back!” Zack grimaced as he reached for the invisible sword that should have been on his back.

“Yes, I know what you mean. I feel naked without my Masamune.”

“How are we gonna get them back?”

“We'll have to talk to Heidegger.”

“Bags not! He makes my skin crawl.”

“Talk to Scarlet then.”

“Oh Gaia she's even worse!”

“That leaves one option.”

“Not Hojo!”

“He's the one who makes my skin crawl.” Sephiroth shuddered as thoughts of the man violated his brain.

“You know what, I can fight just fine with my fists!’ Zack conceded as he turned on his heel and left the office, resigning himself to his new life without his buster sword.

Chapter 54

“You have all been assigned taskings.” Tseng stated as the Turks sat around the briefing room table.

“Rude, you and Elena are accompanying the Vice President to Kalm on a diplomatic assignment.”

Reno's eyes locked with Rude’s as an amused smirk plastered itself across his lips.

He was glad that wasn't his assignment.

Assignments didn’t get much worse than diplomatic ones.

“Reno, you are on pest control.” Tseng announced, his voice speeding up a fraction, as though he didn't want to be the messenger of condemnation, but obviously had no choice.

“Oh what?” Reno screwed up his face, surely he must have misheard that.

Tseng forced a sigh from his lips, as though he had already anticipated the redhead’s bad attitude.

“Pest control? Wait, what am I? A soldier now?” Reno sat bolt upright in his seat.

Tseng remained silent, as though trying to determine if it were wise to divulge the details.

“Wait, is this punishment for Costa Del Sol? It is, isn't it?!”

“You are on pest control with me.” Tseng clarified, not bothering to lace his words with any sort of enthusiasm whatsoever.

Reno sat there silently, as though unable to summon words.

“We will be taking care of a boa constrictor in a soldier's apartment.”

“Oh Gaia are you kidding me?!” 

Damn you Zack Fair.

What was he now? An exterminator? Though, it wasn't as though he hadn’t exterminated things before.

Rude and Elena get some cushy assignment, while he gets lumped with clean up crew because of Zack and his inability to select appropriate pets.

“Why can't Zack deal with his own snake?”

“To quote the man, he specifically said ‘it's better when Reno does it.’” Tseng sighed, as though it were taking all of his self control not to crack even the slightest smile.

“Oh well, you know,” Reno's demeanor changed in a moment as he took the man's words as some kind of flattery.

 

*~.~*

 

“So how are we gonna do this?” Reno sighed as he stood alongside Tseng outside Zack's apartment.

“Well, we first need to locate the specimen.”

Well…

That much was obvious.

“And then?” Reno goaded as he slid a master key into Zack's door knob.

“You have much more experience in wrangling snakes, so I'll leave that part to you.” Tseng's lips were mere inches from the redhead's ear as his words adopted a somewhat deeper, almost sultry tone.

Wait a minute.

Was Tseng flirting with him?

Surely not?

Reno shrugged as he pushed open the door.

“Where is your EMR? You will need to have your weapon at the ready.” Tseng advised the redhead with slight confusion in his eyes, as though wondering why he had to prompt one of his finest.

“Ugh yeah, about that…” Reno began before trailing off into silence.

“What about it?”

“It kinda got confiscated at Costa Del Sol, along with Zack and Sephiroth’s weapons.” Reno confessed, not feeling guilty in the slightest for name dropping the General into this mess, and Zack, but it was his fault he was standing here in the first place.

“Who confiscated them?” Tseng’s eyes narrowed upon the redhead.

“Heidegger.” Reno murmured his answer, clearly not wanting his superior to hear the words leaving his lips.

“Dare I ask why?” Tseng sighed, as though finding this situation bizarre, yet far from unexpected.

“We left them on the beach when we went swimming.” Reno confessed as though his words were a mortal sin.

“I see, and would this be the same occasion where the three of you were running around Costa Del Sol completely naked?”

“Yes.” Reno admitted as his voice adopted an almost silent tone.

“Is it safe to surmise that your clothes were also confiscated?”

Reno nodded as he led the way into the apartment, though more to get away from the uninvited interrogation. 

Tseng followed behind the redhead with a disturbing lack of hesitation.

Reno sighed, as though wishing he had a far more exciting assignment.

Where to even begin? 

The snake could be anywhere.

He slouched down onto Zack's couch before suddenly feeling a sharp pain tear through his right buttocks cheek.

“Argh!” The redhead screamed as he instinctively stood up.

“What’s the matter?” Tseng was at the redhead’s side at an alarming speed.

“Damn it.” Reno muttered under his breath, as though doing so would also expel the pain along with it. 

Only Zack Fair would leave something sharp laying around on his couch for some poor unsuspecting individual to sit on. He felt around his buttocks, as though half expecting to find a knife lodged in his cheek.

He glanced down at the couch, only to discover a coiled up green object residing upon its surface.

Oh Gaia.

The snake must have bitten him.

“Tseng! I… Found… The…” Reno began before suddenly feeling as though his body weighed a tonne.

He struggled to stand up as he suddenly fell to his knees.

“Reno! Are you okay?” Tseng was at the redhead's side in an instant.

“That… Snake… Bit… Me… In… The… Ass.” Reno heaved out the words as he struggled for breath.

“You're suffering from venom poisoning.” Tseng surmised as his fingers suddenly tore at the redhead's belt before yanking his trousers down.

“Hey! What… Are… You…”

“We don't have time for this Reno, I am going to suck the venom out of your body.” Tseng advised, not giving the redhead a chance to refuse as he pressed his lips to the man's pale buttocks.

If Reno had the energy, he might have screwed up his face. 

Pretty sure it didn’t work like that.

Tseng’s lips suddenly encircled the bite before sucking without hesitation. 

“Damn you Zackary Fair.” Reno muttered under his breath as he felt the world around him lose focus.

“Hold on Reno, I will carry you to the infirmary.”

“Is… It… That… Bad.” Reno forced the words from his lips as the world around him went completely black.

Tseng gazed down at his unconscious redheaded subordinate.

He was simply perfection.

Hojo had been right.

About this at least.

His gaze traversed the man's pale torso before residing upon his exposed cock, as it lay strewn about against the man's thigh, emerging from a sea of red hair.

The carpet indeed matched the drapes.

Not that he didn’t know this already, of course.

Tseng needed to snap out of this.

Reno needed urgent medical attention.

He grasped the man's trousers before doing them up again.

The act felt like a crime.

To hide such beauty under a veneer of clothing.

He tossed the redhead over his shoulder before abandoning Zack's apartment for the infirmary.

 

Chapter 55

“Damn you Zackary Fair.” Reno muttered under his breath as he laid in what he assumed was the infirmary.

“Are you alright there, my dear?” A voice that belonged to neither Zack nor Sephiroth nor anyone he actually knew for that matter, greeted the redhead as he stared intently at the ceiling.

And ‘my dear’? Whose ever called him ‘my dear’ before? Even his mother never called him that.

“Absolutely delightful.” The Turk muttered, almost drowning in his own sarcasm.

“I have good news for you Reno.” The voice, which he suspected belonged to the attending nurse, continued as the man stood at the redhead's bedside.

Wow. Good news for a change. 

What a novelty.

“You will be paralyzed for approximately three days.” He smiled as he delivered the verdict.

“Good news? How is that good news?!” Reno whimpered, trying to evoke his displeasure by screwing up his face, but failing miserably. Never had he felt more at the mercy of other human beings than he had right in that instant.

“Could you paralyze his mouth while you are at it?” Sephiroth’s voice joined the fray from what Reno presumed was the corner of the room.

If only he could move to see.

Bastard.

Kicking him while he was down like that.

“Sorry dear, that wasn't the good news, the good news is that you'll be able to recuperate in the comfort of your own bed.”

“You mean I can go home?”

“Yes. You'll just need someone to look after you, and the General here has kindly offered.” The nurse smiled while indicating towards the only other person in the room.

Wait.

No.

He didn't want Sephiroth looking after him. He wasn't exactly very, uh, maternal.

What were his other options?

Zack.

Oh Gaia no!

He'd probably end up with another snake bite.

This whole thing was his fault in the first place.

Cloud?

Hmm….

Reno closed his eyes as a manifestation of the blonde bombshell wearing nothing but a nurse's outfit consumed his thoughts. He could imagine it now, the cadet bending over, putting on full display his pale, yet perfectly moulded buns and grand entrance.

Yeah…

Yeah!

“Cloud is unavailable.” Sephiroth stated, as though reading the redhead's mind as he leaned with his back against the wall with his arms folded over his chest.

Either that or he just knew his redheaded best friend too damn well.

Damn.

Tseng?

Uh no.

He didn't want his boss looking after him.

What if he saw him naked! 

Again.

Not to mention the questionable vibes he's been giving off lately.

Nevermind.

“I could always get Hojo to look after you.” Sephiroth stated, though Reno didn't need to look to know the man was smirking his ass off.

“Nope! Nope! You'll do just fine General Sir!”

Maybe Sephiroth was the best option after all.

 

*~.~*

 

“What do you want for dinner?” Sephiroth stated as he peered into Reno's somewhat barren fridge.

“You.”

“I'm not on the menu. Now choose.”

“Damn your enhanced hearing. Pizza.”

“Pizza is an unhealthy choice.” Sephiroth stated blandly as his eyes fell upon what appeared to be a forest of green mold consuming, what at one point seemed to be a half eaten donut.

“Well yeah, I'm sick, remember? I can have whatever I want.”

“What the hell is this Reno?” The General stated as he held up a bag of what appeared to be chocolate chips floating in a mysterious brown liquid between his fingers, as though trying to minimize any surface area contact with his skin.

“Oh those! Those are strawberries.”

In what world are strawberries black?

“I think you mean they were strawberries at one point. Were.” Sephiroth screwed up his face as he carried the bag as far away from his face as his long arms would allow, as though afraid of imminent contamination. He screwed up his face one final time before unceremoniously tossing the bag in the bin.

His eyes descended upon their next target.

A strange brown substance contained within a milk bottle.

Was that caramel flavoured milk? Or perhaps butterscotch? It didn't appear dark enough to be chocolate, and depending on where he stood, it could almost inherit a yellow hue.

Sephiroth contemplated whether it was wise to touch it as his eyes scrutinized the bottle further.

But Reno didn't even like flavoured milk.

So why would he buy it then?

Screw it.

“What flavour is this milk?” Sephiroth stated bluntly, eyeing the bottle dubiously as though refusing to have to pry open the lid as a last resort.

“Flavour? I don't drink flavoured milk. Must be old.”

“Old? More like antediluvian old.” Sephiroth flicked the fridge door closed with a sudden lack of hesitation.

That was it. 

Just eww.

“When you're done rifling through my fridge…”

“You require healthy food to aid in your recovery. Perhaps something fresh would be preferable.” Sephiroth stated aloud, interrupting the redhead in the process. Though he seemed more to be talking to himself than anyone else.

“Fresh? Like how fresh are we talking? Like, you'll go out and hunt it yourself fresh?”

“Indeed. You can't trust the butchers in Midgar to sell you a decent cut of meat.” Sephiroth growled cynically, as though battling internally with some both distant and unsavoury memory.

Oh Gaia no.

He didn't want to eat meat that was still bleeding.

“Oh yeah? You and what sword? I want pizza.” Reno reiterated his demands.

“Behemoth steaks in a Gongagan Mushroom sauce.”

“With a side of fries! Please at least let me have that!”

“On second thought, steak may be a bit difficult for you to chew, perhaps a soup.”

“You could always chew it for me.” Reno winked as a playfully wicked smile descended upon his lips.

It was a great idea, wasn't it?

Or was it?

Actually on second thought, eww.

“Ugh, soup isn't even satisfying!” Reno whined as fantasies of fries drowning in a mushroom sauce swamped his brain.

“So… You want to be fed something satisfying, do you?” A devious glint flickered across the General's emerald eyes.

“You're gonna make me suck you off, even when I'm sick?”

“Indeed. It contains all the essential vitamins and minerals.”

“Pretty sure that's a lie.”

The door to Reno's apartment suddenly flew open, slamming against the wall behind it with a loud bang.

Reno flinched at the sudden noise, though he was almost certain he witnessed the same reaction from the General.

Not that the man would ever admit it.

“I'm back!” An overly enthusiastic voice smothered the walls of Reno's apartment.

“Zack Fair! I'm going to slaughter your ass!” Reno growled, not once taking his eyes off of the silver haired General before him, as though expecting the man to act on his behalf. Maybe now their roles could be reversed. It was high time Sephiroth took orders from him for a change.

“I'm not back!” Zack turned on his heel as though he had morphed into a ballerina before striding back towards the door.

“Zackary, get over here.” Sephiroth demanded.

“Ugh, not until Reno retracts his last statement.” The soldier grimaced as he lurked near the door, as though prepared to bolt from the room at a moment's notice.

“Oh, like you wouldn't enjoy it.” Reno rolled his eyes 

“Get over here.”

“Why?”

“After dinner, you and I have a mission, it will take until the morning.”

“What about me?” Reno whined suddenly, resisting the compulsion to sit up.

“You can't come because you're sick.”

“I know that! I mean whose going to take care of me!”

“Someone is coming to tend to you in the morning.”

“Who?” Reno demanded to know, making no effort to mask the concern in his voice.

“It will be a surprise.”

“It better not be Hojo!”

 

Chapter 56

Reno pried his eyes open dubiously, as though wondering if he had truly heard that knock rattle the front door of his apartment, or if it had just been a figment of his imagination.

It couldn't have been morning yet, surely?

Maybe if he just ignored it, whoever was there would get bored and leave.

A silence instilled the room as the redhead's eyes remained fixed upon the door.

Just when he thought they were gone, another barrage of knocks assaulted the wooden barrier.

Whoever they were, they were growing impatient. 

Reno took a deep breath, Sephiroth, after all, had been reluctant to tell him who was going to be looking after him.

Better not be Hojo.

Damn it.

“Is that you Sephiroth?” Reno groaned as though half hoping the person on the other side of the apartment door just didn't hear him.

The door suddenly flew open, quickly followed by a cascade of sharp footsteps.

Reno's eyes bolted open at the sudden intrusion.

Why had whoever it was even bothered to knock in the first place when Sephiroth had clearly left the door unlocked?

He might as well have left it wide open too!

“Reno, you really ought to lock your door, any idiot could just walk in here and in your current state, you'd be helpless to stop them.” Rufus Shinra declared as if he were quoting a wise watcher of Cosmo Canyon with his sage advice.

“Rufus.” The redhead gasped as he tried instinctively to sit up. The Vice President had been the last person he'd expected to see in his apartment.

Surely he had got the memo as to why he hadn't turned up to work.

Rufus kicked the door closed behind him, not bothering to turn around in the process before striding towards the redhead, who lay helplessly on the couch.

Damn it, why had Sephiroth felt compelled to leave him sprawled out on the couch, the only thing between his naked body and Rufus was a blanket.

“What are you doing here?” The redhead began, trying to appear as nonchalant as his expression would allow.

After all, the last thing he wanted was to appear in any way flustered by this unexpected turn of events.

“I would have thought it obvious Reno. I'm here to look after you.”

Oh Gaia.

“For how long?” Reno whined, instantly regretting his desperate tone of voice as the words left his lips.

“Until you are either well again, or Sephiroth returns. Obviously it will be whichever one comes first.” Rufus sat down on the edge of the couch before leaning over. His lips hovered disturbingly close to the redhead, as though the VP were threatening to kiss the man beneath him.

“You know! I feel much better!” Reno suddenly confessed, drowning his words in a little too much enthusiasm to be in any way convincing. 

The Vice President placed three fingers on the redhead's forehead.

“I haven't got a fever you know, I just can't move.” Reno made no bones about reminding the blonde why he was here, a prisoner in his own house.

“There's no harm in making sure, now is there?” Rufus smirked, casting the blanket away from his chest at such velocity that it almost exposed the redhead's naked groin.

“Argh! I'm feeling right as rain!” Reno panicked, suddenly declaring his words to his apartment, forgetting for the moment that his body refused the prompts of his brain as he tried to sit up.

“No you're not.” Rufus smirked, instinctively shunting the man in the chest with the palm of his hand.

“Don't you have more important things to do?” Reno screwed up his face, as though finding it hard to believe the Vice President would set aside time in his busy schedule to care for his sorry ass.

“And deprive you of quality time with your favourite Vice President? I don't think so.” The blonde whispered, his words adopting a sultry tone as they danced across the redhead's pale skin.

Or maybe it was just pure arrogance.

With Rufus Shinra, it was more or less the same thing.

Yeah, that had to be it.

“Only Vice President.” Reno corrected as he instinctively tried to pull away before his body reminded him that he was paralyzed.

Again.

Great.

Just great.

“Well, how about we watch a movie together? I have been dying to watch Midnight in Midgar.”

‘Midnight in Midgar? I haven't even heard of it.” Reno shrugged, though if he were honest, it sounded mundane. Almost exactly like his life right now.

“It's not, shall we say, a movie you would find at the cinema.”

Reno's elegant eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

What kind of movie doesn't even play at the cinema?

Wait…

Oh Gaia!

“I didn't pick you to be the kind of person who would watch porn.”

“Porn? It's educational Reno. Watching humans mating in the wild, down alleyways and over the bonnet of their cars at three in the morning. No different to watching Animal Planet or the Discovery Planet.”

“Oh hardly!” Reno screwed up his face, it was totally different, but who was he to argue the point?

“What's the difference? Really? The act of mating is standard across all species.”

“Well, let's see… One of those options makes me hard and the other one certainly does not!” Reno declared, hoping there wasn't going to be a practical exercise after the movie so they could master what they have learned.

“In that case, shall we watch something else?" Rufus suggested, yet the disappointment remained fresh in his eyes.

“I never suggested that.” Reno quickly grumbled, as though suddenly realising the error of his ways, at least watching other people couldn't possibly be boring, could it?

There was never anything good on TV these days, now they'll probably end up watching something lame, like the latest and greatest excavators produced by Shinra's R&D department. 

“Well now, shall we watch… Let's see… Why has Zack got a Playlist on your TV? Hmm… Let's see what's on it, shall we?” Rufus began before flicking through the channels with mindless efficiency. 

“Ah, yes. Shall we watch this?” Rufus smirked, though even as he offered the suggestion, Reno knew it was less of a suggestion and more of a command.

“What is it?” The redhead asked as he screwed up his face, trains, trains and more trains trailed across the TV screen. Industrial freight trains carrying tons of cargo, trains that looked as though they were straight out of the wild west, to a replica model of the Shinra Express.

“The history of steam powered locomotives on the Eastern continent.” Rufus smirked as he placed the remote down on the coffee table.

“Oh for the love of Gaia.” Reno groaned in undeniable defeat.

“You don't mind if I lay down on the couch next to you, now do you?” Rufus whispered, not waiting for an answer before occupying the space behind the redhead.

Well yes. He did mind, actually. 

“Are you warm enough? I can warm you up if you're not.” Rufus offered before sliding his arm over Reno's bare hip, his fingers dangling dangerously close to a certain part of the Turk's anatomy. 

“What is this Reno?” Rufus suddenly asked, a bemused smirk lining his lips as he lifted up the blanket covering the redhead's waist, revealing a cascade of equally red hair between Reno's legs.

“It looks like the wild west down there.”

“Oh shut up.”

This was going to be a long day.

Damn you Zack. 

Damn you Sephiroth. 

Chapter 57

Thank Gaia he could move again.

Reno pried open his eyes, his gaze was instantly met by an empty apartment.

Where was Rufus?

Ugh, who cares. The redhead waved his hand dismissively as though not caring that he was now the only person in the room. His eyes darted to the clock above the TV, it was now two o'clock in the afternoon. He must have fallen asleep watching that boring ass program about trains. 

Reno slouched on his couch as his finger collided with the ‘on’ button of his TV remote for what must have been the fifth time.

Damn thing needs new batteries. 

What should he watch? Did he even really want to watch anything?

Not really, no. 

His eyes gazed down at his naked and exposed body. Where was his blanket? His only protection from prying eyes? Not that anyone else currently resided in his apartment. 

What was Rufus thinking leaving him like this? Entirely nude and sprawled about. Reno glanced around the room once more, realising only then that the front door of his apartment was as wide open as his thighs. Oh great. Rufus was one to lecture him about leaving the door unlocked, then the man goes and leaves the damn thing entirely open. How long had he been like this?  The Vice President and Gaia knows who else could have been staring at his cock for hours for all he knew. Ugh, but did that even really bother him? His boss seeing him in such a vulnerable, sultry position?

Hmm…

Not that Rufus was bad, he wasn't bad at all. He'd be lying if he hadn't had the occasional fantasy about being sprawled naked over the man's desk while he ploughed into him again and again. He could be relentless like that. 

Damn it.

Now he had a much more pressing matter to attend to. Reno closed his eyes as he slid his fingers down his pale, naked body. Three days of not being able to move, not being able to do this, his favourite activity. Damn this wasn't going to take long, he felt about ready to explode as he engulfed his cock within his slender fingers.

Ugh how he needed this.

He grasped tighter as he demanded more pleasure from his body.

He was so close.

Suddenly he heard his phone ring from within his pocket. It was loud and impossible to ignore, even in his current state.

No.

The redhead took a deep breath, choosing to ignore the incessant whistling of the Midgar Express that Zack insisted was his damn ringtone. Why did Zack have to be such a train buff? Not that anyone believed him when he tried telling them how much he loved locomotives the world over.

The redhead inhaled a deep breath before forcing it from his lips, as though bracing himself for a tornado of Gilgamesh proportions. He drew the device to his ear, yet before words could formulate on his lips, the assault had begun.

“Oh good! You finally answered! I thought you must have been dead! Reno, do you wanna…?” Zack shouted into the phone excitedly, as it took all of Reno self control not to moan.

Too late.

“No.” The redhead stated instinctively, shutting the soldier down mid sentence. Whatever Zack had in mind, the answer was an unequivocal, resounding ‘no’.

“You don't even know what I was gonna say!” The soldier whined incessantly into the other end of the receiver.

A moan escaped the redhead's lips. Reno wanted to say that he really didn't care, because right now, he really didn't. But that might have been a bit harsh.

Even if it were true.

“What are you even doing? You sound like you're having an org…”

“Nevermind that, ugh, fine. What is it?” The redhead sighed unenthusiastically, yielding to his best friend's desperate pleas.

And Gaia did he hate himself for it.

“Do you wanna do something?” The octave of Zack's voice had changed, it had adopted a more sweet, sincere, some might even say manipulative tone.

It was a tone Reno knew all too well.

“What kind of something?” Reno narrowed his eyes as suspicion consumed every facet of his being.

“I dunno…” The Soldier began, as though hoping the redhead would take charge and make a decision on behalf of both of them.

“You can start by buying me dinner, after all, the last few days were entirely your fault.” Reno groaned, if there was one way to get rid of Zack, it was making him pay for something.

A silence greeted him from the other end of the phone.

“Zack? Hello? Are you there?” A growing concern etched itself upon Reno's face, but he would be damned if he let it express itself through the tone of his voice.

The last thing he wanted was for Zack to think he was actually worried about him.

“How about I come pick you up on my motorbike and take you to Junon?”

“Junon?” Reno screwed up his face, he must have heard that wrong. Zack couldn't be serious, could he? The strategic military outpost wasn't exactly what he would call a romantic spot. 

Not to mention the fact that it was far away.

Like real far away.

What was wrong with the restaurants in Midgar?

“Yeah! I can take you to this restaurant that specializes in monster off-cuts.”

“Off cuts? You mean the parts no one wants to eat?”

“Well, yeah, I mean it's not great, but it's all you can eat!”

“Romantic Zack. Real romantic.”

“Yip! A hundred gil and order whatever you want off the menu for 90 minutes. And, above all, it's cheap!”

And there it was.

Cheap.

“I dunno Zack, that sounds kinda not my cup of tea.” Reno screwed up his face, thanking Gaia Zack wasn't in the room to witness his expression. 

“I don't think they serve tea. But nevermind that, last time I went there, they had deep fried Marlboro eyeball wrapped in sautéed tendril.”

“Eww yuck.” Reno gagged as his phone suddenly slipped from his fingers.

“What?! You're the one always telling me to be more adventurous!” Zack flailed about as though he had just been asked to defend his honor.

“When have I ever said that Zack?”

“Ugh…” 

“Did it ever occur to you Zack that Junon was cheap for a reason?”

“Come on! It will be fun!” The Soldier whined as he bounced around what Reno assumed was Sephiroth's office. Reno, however, had heard those exact words before. Instead of promising fun, they always spelt out impending disaster. Of Titanic proportions no less. 

“You have to come, I’ve already told Vincent you would be there.”

“What?”

“And Cloud.”

Well…

Cloud.

That sweetened the pot somewhat.

“Well in that case!” Reno sat up excitedly. 

“You know Reno, sometimes I think you like him more than you like me.”

“Yeah well, he doesn't have a pet snake that bit me in the bum.”

“You're never gonna let that go, are you?”

“Nope.”

 

Chapter 58

“This will do!” Zack exclaimed excitedly as he jumped off of his motorbike in one swift maneuver.

“Zack, you're not parking here.” Reno screwed up his face in confusion as he watched three cars zoom past him on the left and one to his right.

“Why? What's wrong with here?” Zack shrugged, seeming to be genuinely confused as to what the problem was.

“You're literally in the middle of the road!” Reno waved at the ground as if to exacerbate his point. 

“I always park here. See that yellow cactuar?” Zack pointed to a chipped and faded amber cactuar, who appeared to be missing an arm as it stood proudly near the gutter.

“Yeah…?” Reno eyed the man dubiously, wondering what exactly the miniscule cactuar had to do with anything.

“Thats a fire hydrant.”

“So…?” Reno raised an eyebrow, as though wondering what Zack expected him to do with this useless piece of information.

“I use it as a marker, so I always remember where I parked my motorbike.” Zack grinned as though he were the smartest man on Gaia.

“Why don't you just…” Reno groaned as though he was quickly losing the momentum to carry on this ridiculous argument.

“Just what?”

“Use your bike as the marker! I mean come on Zack! That hydrant is tiny! You can barely see it behind your bike.”

“Oh… Hmm…” Zack scratched his chin as though deep in thought.

“Come on, where is this place?”

“See where that lamp post is? Next to it is an alleyway.” Zack waved his finger around in tiny circles as he gestured towards an obscenely narrow gap between two buildings.

It was so narrow in fact that Reno had to do a double take to confirm the existence of this so-called gap.

Why had he agreed to come to Junon again?

“Yeah…” Reno eyed the soldier skeptically. 

“The restaurant is just down the alleyway behind it.”

“Oh, just to be crystal clear, you don't mean that really dodgy looking alleyway, do you?” 

Reno wasn't exaggerating either as he really hoped by some damn miracle that it wasn't the one with six black bags of rubbish spewing out from the narrow gap.

“Yeah but don't worry! The actual restaurant is set way back from the road.”

Somehow, Zack's words failed to reassure the redhead.

Did set back from the road mean that it was down yet another dodgy alleyway before disappearing so far underground that they were liable to wind up in Titan’s lair?

“Spikey is already there, now come on! Let's go!” The soldier led the way as the two weaved their way through not one, not two, but seven alleyways, each one appearing more dire than the last.

How did Zack find these places?

“Well, here we are!” Zack grinned as he pointed to a fireman's pole that descended down a manhole to Gaia knows where beneath the road.

“I'll go first!”

“Damn right your going first.” Reno muttered, one look down at the foreboding darkness beneath his feet was enough to make him ponder if it were too late to back out.

“There's also a slide entrance but the pole is safer.” Zack reassured as Reno waited in anticipation for the Soldier to explain how exactly the pole was the safer option.

“If you go down the slide, there's a fifty fifty chance you'll end up in the fish tank.”

“Oh Gaia.” Reno smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. Why had he agreed to this? He knew better!

“Wait till you see the merboys!” Zack declared excitedly as he leaned against the firemen's pole.

“Merboys?”

“Yeah! They're like mermaids but men! They swim around in the tanks while you eat.”

Maybe this place wasn't gonna be so bad after all.

“Well, maybe you should have just told me about them over the phone, then you wouldn't have had to beg me to come.”

“I didn't beg!”

“You totally begged.”

“What can I say, I didn't think they were relevant.” Zack shrugged, apparently finding this argument to be a bit tedious. 

“Oh, but you thought mentioning Marlboro eyeball wrapped in sautéed tendril was relevant.”

“The tendril is edible.”

“So are the merboys! Well… Technically.” A playful smirk lined Reno's lips.

“That's rule number one, no touchy touchy!” Zack imparted his wisdom to the redhead with a flick of his index finger.

Reno watched as Zack grasped the pole as if it were Sephiroth's cock before disappearing down the small opening.

Reno grimaced, feeling as though it were finally safe enough to do so now that Zack was out of sight.

Despite appearances, he really hated firemen's poles.

“Come on Reno! What's taking so long?” Zack bellowed out from the dark depths.

“Coming.” The redhead groaned, though more to himself than anyone else.

The Turk grasped the pole, imitating Zack's grasp in the process before descending into the darkness.

Reno glanced around the dimly lit venue, its walls were lined with pools ignited in hues of blue and pink.

And Zack wasn't lying, there really were merboys.

“Reno! Over here!” Zack's voice summoned the redhead to a table already occupied by a very awkward looking Vincent and an equally uncomfortable Cloud.

“How did you two find this place?” The words had left Reno's lips before he had decided if he truly wished to know.

“Cloud already knew where to come, did you know he used to moonlight as a merboy…”

“Zack!” Cloud growled as though this were not a fact in which to be proud of.

“He's actually the one who introduced me to this place.” Zack confessed with a slight chuckle, though it resembled more of a creepy giggle.

Reno's eyes descended upon the blonde's slender form, his imagination captivated by the concept of merboy Cloud.

“So, uh, do you still moonlight here?” Reno grinned, hoping he didn't appear as sleazy as he suddenly felt.

“Ugh, no, no I don't.” Cloud glanced away, as if embarrassed by the contents of this conversation. 

“That's okay, maybe you can perform your routine in my ba…”

“I already know what I want.” Zack grinned, cutting the redhead off midsentence before haphazardly tossing the menu at Reno.

“So do I.” Reno winked at the blonde across from him before being ever so unceremoniously clobbered with the flying menu.

“Thanks Zack.” Reno muttered under his breath as he caught the menu after it had bounced off of his head.

“What are you having?” Cloud murmured as his eyes fixated on the dark haired soldier.

“The same thing I have every time I come here!”

“Which is?” Vincent prompted, sometimes it was like pulling teeth to get a straight answer out of Zack.

“Behemoth a la tripe.” Zack declared with a disturbing amount of pride.

“Yuck.” Reno muttered under his breath as he pried open the menu, clearly hoping to find something even remotely edible that did not resemble entrails.

“Is it normally this quiet in here?” Vincent asked as his crimson eyes swept the room and its distinct lack of patrons.

“It gets packed in here after 8. That's why we came early.”

“Yeah, I did think 3:30 was a bit early for dinner.” Reno muttered as he flicked through the somewhat gory menu.

“Did I mention they also have a buffet?”

“Oh, but I don't want to get my food myself, I want one of the merboys to bring it to me.” Reno whined between grimaces as his eyes continued to survey the menu.

“Oh yeah? Which one would you pick?” A sly grin crept across Zack's lips as he winked at the redhead.

“Hmm…” Reno began as his eyes perused the selection scattered around the establishment.

They were all irresistible in their own right as his eyes continued to consume all that was on offer, that was until they fell upon one that stood out for all the wrong reasons.

“Is it just me or does that merboy, or should I say merman, look familiar?” Reno murmured as his eyes darted towards a large, dark, brooding man dressed as a merman, though his arms were folded across his chest, one arm was adorned with an unmistakable metallic object. His smoldering eyes glared daggers at anyone who dared to veer too close to him. Gaia forbid someone should ask him to behave in a sultry fashion.

“Who hired him?” Vincent stifled an eruption of laughter.

“He doesn't exactly fit the mould, but I suppose he's someone's cup of tea.” Cloud suggested as a plate of what resembled jellied brain appeared on a plate before him.

“Oh yeah! Didn't you want tea?” Zack grinned before flicking his fingers in the air to summon any service.

“No! I do not want tea!” Reno growled as he reached for the man's wrist before shunting it back down under the table.

“I don't know what is a darker shade of grey, that brain or your face.” Vincent chuckled slightly, obviously both amused and above all, relieved that that wasn't his dinner.

“Yeah, eww.” Reno murmured, screwing up his face in the process.

“It tastes better than it looks, I swear!” Zack grinned.

“Have you tried it, have you?”

“Well, no.”

“Then how could you possibly know?” Vincent resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the soldier.

“What is it exactly?” Reno dared to ask.

“Fermented Levridon Brain.”

“Fermented?” This time it was Vincent's turn to turn from pale to a shade of grey.

“Zack, what is this place actually called?” Reno winced as he shunted the menu away from him as though it were contaminated.

“Why? You planning to come back?”

“Um no.”

“It's called F7.’

‘F7? Is that it? Not very creative.”

“Sounds more like how many floors underground we are.” Reno groaned as he tried not to look at the fermented brain on the table.

‘Yeah, it stands for Fervent, Ferocious, Famished, yet Flexible, Firsty and Fun Fishy Friends. All You Can Eat Buffet and Grill.” Zack declared the cumbersome title with a winning smile. 

“Firsty? Fishy? Fun? Eww, there's just so much wrong with that title.” Reno screwed up his face.

“Thirsty doesn't even start with an ‘F’. Vincent added as his eyes fell upon a blonde merboy swimming past. 

“What? It's not like I named it myself.” Zack shrugged.

“Wait, so you remember that, but you can't remember where you parked your motorcycle?” Reno’s puzzled expression was enough for the four of them.

“Hmm… Also, nowhere in that title does it suggest that everything is a damn off-cut.”

“Omg Spikey, you have to have one of these cocktails!” Zack jumped up and down excitedly.

“What is it?” Cloud enquired as he dared to gaze into Zack’s cocktail glass. What appeared to be an enormous eyeball was floating around in a strange crystalline blue liquid.

“Its like a Pina Colada, except it doesn't have any pineapple or coconut in it.”

“So nothing like a Pina Colada then?” Reno shook his head at his friend’s compounding idiocy.

“It tastes more like… Shoalapod!”

“Oh for the love of Gaia.”

Chapter 59

“Oh I know!” Reno snapped his fingers as the realization of the brooding man's identity hit him like the Midgar Express. 

“What?” The other three stated in unison.

“That guy over there, he's the guy from the bottle store in Costa Del Sol!” Reno's voice fell to a whisper, as though afraid the man with a gun for an arm may overhear them.

“Omg yes! You're right! What was his name again?” Zack clicked his fingers as though hoping the action would jog his somewhat distant memory.

“Barret.” Cloud chimed up, though he seemed almost embarrassed to be caught speaking the man's name.

“How do you even remember that?” Zack turned to the blonde as a mix of confusion and admiration lurked in his eyes.

“Well, whatever you do, don't make eye contact.” Reno ordered as the four instinctively glared down at the fermented brain on Cloud's plate.

“Reno you haven't ordered yet.”

“Yeah there's a reason for that.”

“Come on, hurry up! I'm starving! You're the last one to order.”

“What did you order Vincent?”

“Blood sausage stew.”

“I reckon you'll like option 93 on page 17.” Zack suggested as he shunted his redheaded friend with his elbow.

“That's oddly specific Zack.” Reno eyed the soldier dubiously as he turned the menu to the recommended page.

“Chargrilled Dragon Balls in a hot and spicy sauce. That doesn't sound tooo bad. Not compared to the other options at least.”

“Is that like octopus balls but with dragon instead?” Vincent tilted his head slightly as the question left his lips, as though suspecting they were nothing like octopus balls and Zack was being deliberately obtuse.

“Well… Not exactly. As long as you think of them as something other than dragon testicles, they're fine!”

“Eww! Testicles? I'm not eating some dragon's manky ballsack.” Reno declared before slamming the menu shut.

“Then allow me to order for you.” A new, yet far from unfamiliar voice suddenly joined the fray.

Reno's eyes traversed the other members of the group, as though hoping one of them were throwing their voice before ultimately residing upon the source.

Barret.

“What? Thought you'd seen the last of me? We have a score to settle, don't we?” Barret began, his eyes locking with each member of the group until finally settling upon Vincent, as though trying to recall if he'd seen the man before.

“I think your beef is with Sephiroth.” Zack shrugged before flicking through the menu as though unperturbed by the man's presence.

That was until Barret decided that resting his gun arm on top of Zack's menu was a good idea.

“Who?” Barret screwed up his face as though Zack had just spoken some foreign language.

“Long silver hair, tall, likes leather, probably has a bondage fetish. You can't miss him.” The words left Zack's lips with such force that they resembled one long word as he failed to breath between words.

“He's got the personality of a Sahagin, you know, like one of the ones that live in the sewers of Midgar.”

“No I do not know, because I have never been down in the sewers.” Barret growled as though insulted at the man's insinuation that he had. 

“Yeah, it's way too cold down there.” Reno interjected, waving his arms furiously as though praying that Zack would just shut the fuck up.

A silence descended upon the table as Barret glared once more at each of them, as though deciding whether to carry on this argument.

“Yeah well, around here, we like it hot.” Barret scowled before placing a plate of what appeared to be a bright crimson coiled up sausage.

“What is this?” Vincent dared to ask on behalf of the rest of them.

“Ifrit’s Inferno. It’s Jabberwock intestine marinated in Rocket Town Hot Sauce. It's sure to blow your socks right off. Do you think you can take the heat?”  Barret taunted, leaning forward until his face was mere inches from Zack’s.

“Hey, it's almost as red as your hair.” The Soldier chuckled as he pointed at the redhead’s head.

“Thanks Zack.” Reno groaned at the soldier's knack for pointing out the obvious.

“You know, they’re always looking for redheads to work here and you’ve got just the right build for it. There's one guy who always comes in here, works for Shinra, he's got a redhead fetish.” Barret announced as though he were running some membership drive.

“The money is definitely worth your while.” Cloud chimed up before realising what he had said.

“Oh please. Can you really see me working in a place like this?”

“Yes.” Zack, Vincent, Cloud and Barret all stated in unison.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Reno made no effort to disguise his offence.

“Shinra? Who do you think it is?” Vincent decided a change of topic was in order.

“He's a scientist, as grubby as they come. Looks like he hasn't showered in six months. Got wrinkles on his face deeper than Cosmo Canyon.”

“Oh Gaia.” Reno groaned as his eyes locked with Zack before falling upon Vincent.

Only one person fitted that description and he better not show up here tonight.

“You know, I really hate Shinra. They built a reactor near my hometown and destroyed the place. Killed everyone to cover up what they had done. Can't stand the company and the fuckheads who work there. One day I'm gonna blow them all straight to hell. Because of them, I'm stuck working this merman gig just to pay the damn bills. Speaking of which, where do you all work?” Barret ranted as his eyes shuffled expectantly at his impromptu audience.

“The cottage cheese factory down the road.” Reno stated quickly before averting his gaze. 

“Same.” Vincent nodded in agreement 

“Yeah same.” Zack nodded furiously, so furiously that it was almost unbelievable.

“What? What cottage cheese factory? I ain't never heard of one round here. You all just happen to work at the same place? And I suppose this Sephiroth works there too, does he?”

“Yip! He's the manager.” Zack grinned, it wasn't a total lie.

A silence fell over them, one which seemed to only grow more awkward with each passing second as Barret stared bullet holes at each of them.

He was clearly not buying what they were selling.

“Well, see ya! I gotta take spikey home!” Zack suddenly announced, grabbing Cloud by the arm as though the blonde had no say in the matter before he rose from the table.

“Zack!”

“What?”

“What about me?” Reno whined, not bothering to disguise the apparent alarm in his voice.

“What about you?”

“How am I supposed to get home?”

“I dunno, take the train.” Zack shrugged, as if annoyed that he had to think of everything. 

“What train? There's no train between here and Midgar.” Reno screwed up his face.

“Bus?”

“I'm not catching the bus.” Reno screwed up his face as he recalled the last time he had to catch the damn bus.

“Why? What's wrong with the bus?” Zack shrugged.

“Last time I got stuck sitting at the back between a zoo animal and his pet Dark Nation. He couldn't keep his hands off me! And no, I'm not referring to Rufus.” Reno was sure to make that last point abundantly clear.

“Why didn't you just move?” Zack shrugged as though this were the obvious course of action.

“Sympathy level zero.”

“Spikey and I are going to get some chocobean ice cream from Ifrit’s Ice Creamery before we head back to Midgar.”

“Ifrit’s Ice Creamery? Ifrit? As in fire?” Reno screwed up his face as though trying to determine the logic behind the naming of that store.

“Yeah, I know, it should have been Shiva. I guess its just alliteration.” Zack shrugged.

“I'll drop you home, Reno.” Vincent leaned over the table.

“I didn't know you had a car.” Zack seemed almost disappointed that he was no longer the only one who owned a vehicle.

“I don't.” Vincent began before descending into silence.

Zack glanced at Cloud, then to Reno before finally returning to Vincent, as though waiting for the man to elaborate, only he didn't.

“Well, laters!” Zack grinned as he grabbed Cloud by the wrist before disappearing from view at lightning speed, as though afraid of incurring the wrath of Reno.

Chapter 60

“Ugh, so how are we gonna get home?” Reno asked, turning his attention from the absconding duo to the dark haired man across from him.

A mischievous smirk appeared on Vincent's lips as he leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table as he raised his hand to eye level. Prized between his fingers were a set of vehicle keys.

“Wait? Are those…?” Reno raised an elegant eyebrow as his eyes danced between the dangling keys and his friend’s crimson orbs, as though prompting the man to complete his sentence. 

“I hope you know how to drive a motor bike.” Though the amusement lurking in Vincent’s eyes suggested that he already knew the answer.

“Oh well! That's what Zack gets for leaving his shit laying around on the table. I don't suppose he left his wallet laying around too?” Reno shrugged before making a point to scan the table's surface and the surrounding floor just in case.

“More like, that's what he gets for ditching you.” Vincent leaned further over the table, until his lips were mere inches from Reno's. 

“What?” The redhead tilted his head slightly as confusion began to accumulate in his eyes.

“Not that I'm complaining, of course.” An inviting smile crept across the dark haired man's lips as he traced his index finger up Reno's supple neck before residing on his chin.

“I am privileged to keep your company.” Vincent’s lips morphed into an endearing smile, his gaze narrowing upon the redhead, as though curious as to how the man would respond to his compliment.

“Privileged?” Reno tilted his head slightly, no one had ever used that word and his name in the same sentence before.

“Indeed.”

A shiver suddenly ran through Vincent's body, as though someone had opened the door and let a blizzard inside.

“Do you feel that?” Vincent tore his eyes away from Reno before scanning the establishment for the source of his discomfort.

“Yeah. I usually only get this feeling when a creep is nearby.” Reno too, began to search the premises with his eyes.

“Oh Gaia.” Vincent groaned as his face grew three shades paler. 

“What is it?” Reno asked, watching as his friend grew more translucent with each passing second before following the trajectory of his gaze.

His sapphire eyes fell upon a murky figure heading straight towards them.

“Oh Gaia.” Reno muttered under his breath as the figure took form into someone more recognizable.

The figure continued to distort until its form became undeniable.

Hojo.

His creep radar had hit the mark once again.

“Fancy seeing you here. I didn't know you had a merboy fetish as well.” The Professor leaned in closer to Reno, adjusting his glasses as though imagining what the redhead would look like as a merboy.

Or just completely naked.

“Hmm… Yes…” The Professor nodded, as though he were having a conversation with himself before drawing Reno's shirt up to his chest, revealing the redhead's abdominal muscles to everyone in the vicinity in the process.

Reno's eyes widened, as though not believing that even the creepy scientist would possess such audacity.

“Uh yes. I do love my boy’s slender and pale.” Hojo's tongue traced his hungry lips as he pulled the Turks shirt up further, until he revealed the man's bare chest and supple nipples.

Reno stood there, as though paralyzed as Hojo's gaze turned south as his eyes fell upon a scattering of red hair just above the Turk's low belt line.

“It looks like you live up to your reputation.” A huff of what appeared to be amusement escaped Hojo’s lips as his dark eyes fixated upon their target.

“Reputation?” Oh Gaia, now he had a reputation. 

“Does the wild west ring a bell? It seems you like to keep things as natural as possible between your legs.”

Wild west?

Where had he heard that before…?

Reno's eyes widened as his face turned so pale that it could rival Vincent’s.

Rufus Shinra.

Hojo reached for the redhead's belt, as though assuming the permission to help himself.

“What do you think you're doing?” Vincent growled, wasting not a second as he jumped over the table with a frightening ease before standing between the two as though accepting his new position as Reno's shield.

“Who are you? Get out of my way.” Hojo waved the ex Turk away in an irritated fashion, as if the man were as insignificant as a gnat.

“So, you don't remember me?” Vincent's voice adopted a lower octave, though he seemed more enthralled than disappointed as he closed the gap between the professor and himself.

“Why? Should I?” Hojo's eyes ran up and down the man's form, as though searching for some sign of familiarity.

“I won't let you steal away someone special to me, not again.” Vincent prodded the man repeatedly on the chest with his index finger, each assault more severe than the last.

“Special? Well, he may be special to you, however you may not be as special to him.” Hojo shook his head as though Reno's alleged lack of affection affected the scientist personally.

Vincent's crimson orbs remained affixed to the Professor, as though ready to rebuke every word about to leave the man's filthy lips.

“I saw him and that immature brat of a Soldier at Costa Del Sol. What's his name? Zack is it? Who cares, it's not as though it's important. They were all over each other like a rash. Pounding and sucking and fuc…” Only the Professor never got the chance to finish his sentence. The whole room fell silent as Hojo hit the deck.

“Did you just…?” Reno's jaw dropped as his lips struggled to form a sentence.

“It’s about time someone punched that smug asshole in the mouth. I'm tired of him comin’ here all the time.” Barret's low groan traversed the establishment.

“And on that note, we should probably…” Reno began as Vincent turned on his heel to face the redhead.

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” Reno waved his hand dismissively as he did his best to embody a nonchalant demeanor.

“Hmm… If you say so.” Vincent eyed the redhead dubiously, as though suspecting that the man was withholding the truth.

“By the way, that is so not what happened at Costa Del Sol!” Reno threw his hands in their air as a smirk grew on Vincent's lips.

“I don't care what happened in Costa Del Sol.” Vincent smirked as he grasped the redhead by the wrist before guiding him towards the exit. 

Vincent always had a talent for finding the exit.

Gaia he couldn't wait to get out of this place.

Chapter 61

“There it is.” Reno smirked, his eyes falling upon Zack's motorbike as it stood, parked in what was arguably, the middle of the road.

“Shall we?” Vincent intertwined his fingers with the redhead’s before gently guiding him towards the vehicle as though he were aiding a princess towards her carriage.

“Huh, you know I'm not a damsel in distress, right?” Reno eyed the dark haired man dubiously, as though manners were a foreign concept to the redhead.

“That’s too bad, I could have shown you a thing or two.” A wayward smirk made itself at home on Vincent's lips, as he studied the Turk before him.

“Thing or two huh?” Reno scoffed, as though trying to determine what kind of strange fetishes the man possessed. 

“You know, I seriously doubt that.” Reno flicked his index finger at Vincent as his lips adopted a sultry grin.

The dark haired man’s lips fell open, yet words eluded them as he found himself wondering just how wild this Turk could get.

Untameable hopefully.

“I’ll have you know, I like it rough. Like Jabberwock level rough. I could eat you whole and spit you out without even choking, or breaking a sweat.” Reno bragged with one hand on his hip as though this were a fact to be proud of. 

Vincent’s eyes fixated upon the man before him, as though he were tempted to make him either prove it or eat his words. 

The redhead bared his teeth, as though threatening to harvest the man right then and there. He was sure to make a more satisfying buffet than anything served at that ghastly merman restaurant.

Then again, one could say the same about a road cone.

“Oh stop it, if you turn me on any more, I'll have to fuck you, right here, right now, right over the handlebars.” Vincent huffed, perhaps a little too loudly as several people walking past turned to stare at them. Though this hardly fazed the Ex Turk as he collected a lock of Reno’s red hair in his fingers before replacing it gently over the man’s shoulder.

“In front of all these spectators.” Vincent added, though this time his voice had adopted a low, husky but above all, hungry growl. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Reno winked as a playful, yet cheeky smile adorned his lips, though his sapphire orbs did not truly expect the man to answer.

“Though, I’d rather not get arrested, you know, again.” Reno mumbled, as though getting arrested was a regular occurrence.

“You’ll have to tell me that one later. In that case, I know this secluded spot. Just head east.” Vincent commanded, pointing towards the far side of town, as if Reno didn't know which way east was.

He was probably right too.

Reno climbed onto Zack's motorbike, wasting no time grasping the handle bars as he felt Vincent climb on behind him.

“So, where's this spot?”

“I'll show you.”

 

~*.*~

 

“Are you sure this is where you left it?” Cloud’s eyes danced between the empty street and Zack’s flailing arms, as though not knowing which posed more of an imminent threat.

“Ugh, yeah! I parked it next to the only yellow cactuar fire hydrant in the city.” Zack whined as he pointed at the tiny, barely noticeable hydrant.

“Hmm…” Cloud's eyes searched up and down the main street of Larboard Junon as though hoping the motorbike would just magically appear out of thin air.

“Maybe it wasn't the best idea to park it in the middle of the road.” The blonde shrugged, though his words were barely a whisper as they parted his lips, as though he didn't actually want them to reach the ears of his friend.

“Ugh, that's what Reno said.” Zack whined as he began pacing up the street before accidentally slipping off the curb and falling into the gutter.

Cloud stopped short of saying that maybe the redhead was right and instead, knelt down to help his friend get out of the gutter.

“We could always just walk.” Cloud offered the Soldier an encouraging smile.

“But Spikey! It's so far! And it's getting dark!” Zack waved his arm around the immediate vicinity as though to highlight this concerning fact.

“Zack… Aren't you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“You're a soldier.” Cloud groaned, as if the man needed reminding.

“Oh yeah! Then we had better get going, hadn't we?”

 

~*.*~

 

“So… What do you think?” Vincent smirked as Reno turned the motorbike off. They were on the shore of a calm beach, yet also inside of a cavern, one illuminated in warm shades of amber.

“It certainly has a romantic ambience. You sure no one's here?” Reno glanced over his shoulder at the man sitting behind him.

“Why? Does it actually bother you if someone watches us?” Vincent smirked mischievously as he brushed his lips against the redhead's neck.

“I think you already know the answer to that question.” Reno grinned as he leaned back before prying open every button adorning his shirt until his chest was laid bare.

“By the way, how did you ever find this place? It's so tucked away in this cave.”

“It's a port, I know where all the ports are. Maybe I can show you all the others sometime?” Vincent murmured as he planted a series of kisses down the redhead's bare neck.

“As long as you fuck me while showing me.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“Shall we do it over there?” Reno pointed to a shack with a wharf extending out into the shallow waters of the cove.

“I think it would be better if we did it right here.” Vincent growled as though he had just been possessed by a starving spectre. 

“On Zack's bike? Oh Gaia. He loves this bike more than life itself. I don't think he'd ever forgive me if he found out!”

“Well then, you better hope he never finds out.” Vincent winked as he pried open the redhead's belt before sliding his fingers down into a flurry of red hair.

“Ngh!” Reno groaned as he felt Vincent's hand encircle his cock before tightening its hold.

“Get naked for me.” Vincent's hot breath danced against Reno's pale flesh.

The redhead's heart pounded in his chest as he climbed off the bike, his eyes dancing over the cavernous beach before spotting several figures in the distance. They were far away, and no one's eyesight was that good.

Though, there was one figure kneeling on the shore, playing with what appeared to be a motorised boat in the water.

What a nerd. Who does that on a Thursday night? Actually, who does that ever?

Reno slid his trousers down to his ankles in one succinct motion before whisking them off entirely. 

He slid his shirt off of his shoulder before allowing it to join the growing pile.

“You know Reno, you get more beautiful with every passing second.” Vincent winked as his eyes trailed the pale flesh on offer as the redhead stood there, wearing absolutely nothing.

“Well, you know.” Reno winked as he pressed his lips to the palm of his hand before blowing a kiss to the man on the bike.

“Come here.” Vincent growled, he didn't want to merely run his hungry eyes over his steak, he wanted to sink his teeth into it.

Reno mounted the motorbike once more, grasping the handlebars as he leaned forward, his nude backside aiming straight at the dark haired man behind him. He arched his back as he leaned further still, his cheeks prying themselves apart to reveal his far from virgin opening.

“I hope you're ready to plough straight into me, because I'm begging for it.” Reno growled over his shoulder as if he were a starving behemoth.

“You better believe it.” Vincent mumbled, his words barely coherent as he grasped the redhead's pale cheeks before prying them even further apart.

The sight was too much and the Ex Turk could barely take it any more as he flicked open his own belt before retrieving his own hard cock. He stroked it further, drawing it into the prime of its existence.

Vincent drove his lips to the redhead's wanton opening, burying his tongue inside Reno's entrance before trailing it down into the unruly mess of red hair encasing the man’s balls.

No matter how many times he did this, he could never tire of it.

“Ngh!” Reno cried out as he grasped the handlebars as if for dear life.

“Fuck me.” Reno commanded, draping himself over the handles bars as Vincent lined the redhead's opening up with his member.

He didn't have to be told twice.

Chapter 62

Rufus reached down into the shallow water before withdrawing his drowning toy submarine.

Damn it.

He would have to figure out why it kept filling up with water and sinking.

“Ngh!” 

Rufus narrowed his gaze. That was the third time he had heard that noise.

At first he thought it was a fiend of some kind, but now he wasn't so sure.

His eyes searched the dimly lit cavern, its shape did create the perfect echo chamber, which meant the fiend could be anywhere. He best be prepared, just in case it turned out that noise was indeed a monster stalking him like prey.

That simply would not do.

It was just as well he had brought his binoculars with him.

The blonde foraged around his neck, soon drawing the spectacles to his cerulean eyes before searching the shoreline.

There didn't appear to be all that much going on until his eyes fell upon a dark shape near the port's wharf, its outline somewhat distinct. 

Was that a motorbike?

Rufus turned the dial clockwise, adjusting the image until it came into sharper focus.

Indeed it was.

“Argh! Fuck me!” A voice cried out, the desperation and hunger in its voice was undeniable. Yet also, vaguely familiar.

That definitely was not a fiend. Fiends don't speak English and beg for it.

It had to be coming from that motorbike.

Rufus narrowed his gaze.

Someone was still riding the vehicle, actually, upon closer inspection, make that two individuals.

Rufus turned the dial again, sharpening his focus once more.

The figure at the front appeared to be completely naked, though it was hard to tell from this angle. Damn handlebars were obstructing his view.

The Vice President shifted position away from the waters edge before turning the dial again.

That's better.

The nude figure was now unmistakable.

Red hair cascaded down his pale body as he clutched almost desperately to the handlebars.

Reno.

The Turk was bent over the handlebars, his ass in the air as the figure behind him had their face buried against his opening.

The man was devouring Reno from the inside, but who was he?

He seemed vaguely familiar, yet…

Did it even matter? The redhead seemed to be loving every second as his proud erection emerged from a fiery sea of red hair as it pressed hard against his slender abdomen.

When did Reno get a motorbike?

Hmm…

Maybe it belonged to the other guy.

Rufus continued to watch as the dark haired man behind Reno climbed up behind him before angling his groin against the redhead’s opening.

“Ngh!” Reno’s moan resounded through the cavern.

That was the loudest one yet.

Rufus stood there, fixated and paralysed.

The dark haired man withdrew his cock from his trousers before pressing it hard against Reno’s opening. He wasted no time as he penetrated the redhead, extracting a gasp followed in close succession by a low, almost starving groan.

Rufus could feel his own body reacting, a certain part of his anatomy demanding his attention as he stood there, his binoculars glued to his eyes.

“Ngh! Fuck me harder!”

Reno’s request was soon granted as the man ravished him.

Rufus took a deep breath as his body could barely tolerate itself anymore. He held the binoculars steady with one hand, the other attacked his belt, prying it open before withdrawing his own member. Rufus slumped against the nearby shack as his grip around himself tightened as he heard what sounded like Reno's final, climactic moan. The man must have achieved orgasm as his moan sent shockwaves through the cavern, and ultimately Rufus’s body.

The blonde released as he felt his knees collide with the dirt beneath him.

He was glad no one was around to witness this spectacle. The last thing he needed was for the Shinra Skeptic to run a story about this unsavoury escapade, labelling him a wanker and a perve no doubt.

He stuffed his cock back into his trousers, he had to get closer. A sudden compulsion grasped at him like a vice. He had to overhear their conversation.

Rufus encircled the shack before creeping behind a stack of boxes mere meters from the motorbike.

Good. From here, he could hear everything.

Reno slumped over the handlebars, spent and drenched in sweat as Vincent withdrew from his body, leaving a cascade of fluid to drain from the redhead's opening.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Vincent murmured as he climbed off the motorbike before collecting the redhead's clothes in his arms.

“I can drive.” Reno smirked before turning the key, igniting the engine to life.

“Aren’t you gonna put these on?” Vincent eyed the man dubiously, as though already suspecting his answer.

“Do me a favour and chuck them in the box at the back, will ya? I might put them on later. MIGHT.” Reno smirked, running his tongue playfully over his lower lip.

Might mean’t no and everyone knew it.

“What? You're gonna ride all the way back to Midgar naked?” Vincent raised an eyebrow, the wise half of him riddled with skepticism, the reckless half delighted at the concept.

The smirk upon the redhead's lips intensified, delivering to the dark haired man his answer.

“Do you know what would make it better?” Reno's eyes descended upon the ex Turk.

“What?” Vincent murmured as though a part of him were afraid to ask.

“If you were inside me the whole way back.”

Rufus gasped before catching himself. Reno couldn't be serious? Could he? Then again, this was Reno.

“Hey, what happened to that guy on the beach?” Reno tossed his head in the direction of the shoreline.

Rufus seized up at the reference to him.

“Which one?”

“That nerd who was playing with his remote controlled boat?”

Nerd? Who was he calling a nerd? Besides, it wasn’t a boat, it was a submarine. Rufus took a deep breath before biting his tongue.

Whatever happens, he was not to give away his position.

Damn he wished he brought his camera.

“Probably gone home.”

“Hmm…” Reno's eyes searched the shoreline as though doubting that was the case.

 

*~.~*

 

“Gaia there is so much rubbish on television these days.” Sephiroth groaned aloud to absolutely no one as he flicked, almost mindlessly through channel after channel. The General took a deep breath before forcing it violently from his lips.

What was everyone else up to anyway?

Probably watching the same boring channels as him.

“At the centre of our vast galaxy is a giant black hole called aquafus. Can you guess the origin of this name?” The television spouted forth a little too enthusiastically for this time of night.

No.

No he couldn't guess its origin, nor did he particularly feel compelled to. Though, this program still appeared to be better than anything else being presented to him, however marginally.

 

*~.~*

 

“Hey Spikey, this isn't so bad.” Zack grinned as he gazed up at the moonlight. He had no idea what the time was on account of losing his phone somewhere between dinner and now. It was probably the same bastard who stole his motorbike.

“At least there's no monsters.” Cloud shrugged, though if he were honest, there wasn't much of anything along this desolate road.

Not a single vehicle had gone past since they left Junon's city limits.

“Do you think Reno is okay? Maybe he's walking back too.”

“Nah, Vincent is probably ploughing him as we speak.”

“What?!”

“Nothing!” Zack winced as though just remembering the innocent nature of his current company.

“Hey Zack, do you hear that?” Cloud glanced around as what sounded like an engine grew steadily louder.

“Hmm… Yeah, it sounds kinda like a vehicle coming.”

“Maybe we can hitch a ride.”

Cloud glanced over his shoulder as headlights almost blinded his view. Yet, despite this obstacle, his eyes fell upon pale flesh as the motorbike flew past at a rate of knots.

“Hey Zack… Was that guy driving naked?” Cloud furrowed his eyebrows as though not believing his own words as they departed his lips.

“Yeah, what a tawdry slut! Who would drive around completely naked on a motorbike for the whole world to see? Despicable.” Zack tusked while shaking his head incredulously.

Cloud could think of someone who would be bold enough to do it, yet this time his lips remained sealed. Zack would have to figure that one out on his own.

 

Chapter 63

“Omg Seph! Can you believe someone stole my motorbike! I mean come on!” Zack whined as he strode into the office, late as usual.

“Where did you leave it?” Sephiroth sighed, his voice devoid of any genuine concern, as though his answer were a standard, almost robotic response.

“At Larboard Junon.”

“Larboard Junon? I don't remember a mission there last night.” Sephiroth screwed up his face in confusion before sifting through his reports in case he had missed something.

“Oh, it wasn’t a mission. I just parked my bike there while I got something to eat.”

“So… What you're really saying is that you left it right in the middle of the road. Most likely in someone's way.” Sephiroth stated flatly, not bothering to look up from his latest mission report as he iterated, what he was certain, was a more accurate version of events than whatever garbage would spew forth from Zack’s lips.

“Well, no, it was off to the side a bit. Not exactly in the middle. Gaia why does everyone keep…”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes at the man as a new figure entered the office.

“Hey Seph.” Reno winked as he strode towards the man's desk, as though the General were the only occupant in the room.

“Reno.” Sephiroth acknowledged with a curt not before returning his emerald gaze to the paperwork splayed out in front of him.

“Um, what about me?” Zack waved his arms frantically in the air, as though afraid the redhead would somehow not notice him.

“Oh, you're here.” Reno's eyes traced Zack's form as though trying to determine if he were actually a mirage.

“Yeah, I mean where else would I be? It's not like I can go anywhere without my motorbike.” The Soldier tossed his arms in the air one final time before slumping back in his seat, as though defeated.

“Hmm…” 

“Aren’t you even gonna ask me what happened?” Zack's voice grew an octave, as though concerned by his so-called friend’s lack of concern.

“I'm not sure… Do I want to?”

“Ugh, some dick stole my bike.” Zack stated bluntly, as though tired of waiting for his friend to ask.

“Oh well, you know…I'm sure it will turn up.” Reno shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes remaining affixed to the General, as though doing so meant he would be able to avoid Zack’s rant.

“Turn up? Turn up! Ugh when? Next year? Ugh, nevermind all that. Omg! Last night was so great!” Zack suddenly sat up in his chair as though he had garnered a second wind.

“Last night?” Sephiroth glanced up from his pile of paperwork long enough to dart his second in charge a confused glare.

“Yeah we all went out last night. It was great.”

“Who exactly is ‘we’? I thought only you went out last night.” The General tossed his mission report to the edge of his desk.

“Yeah, because I really appreciate being stranded in Junon because there wasn't enough space on the back of your motorbike, Zack.” Reno grumbled, making it very clear that the time wasn’t all that great.

“Well, you know I had to take Spikey home. Well, until some idiot ran off with my bike that is. How did you and Vinny get home in the end anyway?”

“You know he hates it when you call him that.”

“Meh, it suits him.”

“I think the real question is how did you get home?” Reno began, deciding it were wise to alter the parameters of their conversation. 

“Well I might have told you if I thought you genuinely cared.” Zack tilted his head up, clearly pining for attention as Reno resisted the urge to either roll his eyes or void his stomach.

“Zack.”

“Me and Spikey had a romantic midnight stroll.”

“What?! You walked? All the way from Junon?!” Reno's jaw fell to the floor. Okay maybe he was starting to feel a bit bad about absconding with Zack's bike. Though, technically it was Vincent who had done the absconding.

“Where was my invitation?” Sephiroth growled from behind his pile of paperwork.

Reno suddenly positioned himself strategically behind Zack before shaking his head and making a gesture that looked disturbingly like the act of slitting one's throat.

“Oh you should have been there Seph! The food was to die for!” Zack exclaimed excitedly as he lounged back in his seat before tossing his heels up onto his desk.

“Well something certainly died for it.” Reno grimaced, realising only then that he hadn't actually eaten any of it.

“Yes, well, I would have been there if someone had invited me.” The General muttered, making no effort to mask the passive aggressive tone lurking in his voice.

“Omg Reno! Did you see that blonde merboy? He was the spitting image of Cloud!”

“Merboy?” Sephiroth sat up straight in his seat.

“It's like a…”

“I know what a merboy is, Zackary.” The General growled, now making absolutely no effort to mask his annoyance. 

“That kind of surprises me actually, even I didn't know what they were.” Reno confessed with a shrug.

“But no! I didn't notice him, why didn't you point him out to me you nong!” Reno growled before slapping the soldier gently upside the head.

“Oh please, if he was that hot you would have noticed him on your own.” Sephiroth stated bluntly, his patience was wearing decidedly thin.

“I was too busy perusing the disgusting menu, actually.” Reno gagged as he gestured a finger down his throat.

“But your friend was there.” Zack chimed up, adorning his lips with an extremely forced grin.

“What friend? I don't have any friends. Clearly.” Sephiroth screwed up his face in abject confusion.

“Oh yeah! Ol’ Barret from the Costa Del Sol bottle store.” Reno reminiscened, as though the events last night had happened over half a year ago. 

“Who?”

“Funny! He said the same thing when we mentioned you!”

“You know, he was big, like, bigger than Heidegger and almost as big as his scowl.”

“Oh him. Though he's hardly what I would call a friend, what are you on about Zackary?!”

A silence descended upon the office, one that grew more awkward with every passing second as Reno and Zack's gaze collided repeatedly, as though hoping the other would say something to diffuse the tension in the room.

“So, ugh, what did you do last night?” Zack braved the odds.

“I’m surprised you’d care enough to ask.”

Zack glanced at Reno, an awkward cringe was plastered all over his face. It was as though the soldier were hoping he’d know just the right thing to say. Except the sapphire eyes that greeted him were mired in the same confusion.

“Well… Ugh…”

“I watched a program about black holes.” Sephiroth spat, not bothering to look up from his stack of mission reports.

“Oh, I've seen that, there's some hot guys in that, man! The stuff they can fit inside their...”

“Not those kind of black holes!” Sephiroth growled as he suddenly rose up from his desk like a phoenix.

“I'm talking about the one at the centre of our galaxy, you idiots! Space! Astronomy! Planets! Don't you two ever think about anything other than dicks!”

“Dont worry Seph! We’ll let you know next time we're going out.”

“That's if you can accommodate me into your busy schedule.” Sephiroth's sarcasm was enough to drown all three of them.

“Well, nevermind that, both of you missed out last night. The real action happened after you left Zack.” Reno began as he maneuvered himself towards the centre of the office, as though occupying the spot of centre stage in a drama no one asked to see.

“What? What do you mean?” The grin fell from Zack's lips as he sat up in his seat. Now it was his turn to feel left out.

“Guess who turned up after you left!”

Zack glanced at Sephiroth as though hoping the man would guess first.

“Naughty, nice or downright hideous?”

“Horrendous more like.”

“Heidegger?”

“No.”

“Scarlet?”

“No.”

“Who?”

“Seph’s fave.”

“Oh not Hojo!” The General screwed up his face before tossing his pen down on top of his reports as though it were a miniature Masamune.

“You guessed it!”

“Trust him to go to a seedy establishment like that one.” Zack shook his head, as though finding the whole concept unacceptable. 

“Seedy? What does that say about the two of you?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as he eyeballed the resident hypocrites.

“Well! What happened?”

“To cut a long story short, he tried to take my clothes off and Vincent decked his ass.”

“Damn, that sounds more exciting than walking all the way back from Junon to Midgar! It took me and Spikey all night to get back here!”

“Ah! So that's how he got his black eye. He was telling everyone in this morning’s meeting that he got it when one of his experiments went berserk.”

“Well… Do you know what Spikey and I saw last night?” Zack boasted, refusing to be upstaged by Reno's story.

The office fell silent as Zack awaited a prompt to continue.

A prompt that didn't come.

“Well, on our long walk back from Junon, Spikey and I saw someone riding a motorbike completely naked!” Zack exclaimed before slapping his hand over his lips as though he had just spilled someone else's secret.

Reno's eyes bolted wide open as they avoided Zack's gaze, instantly descending upon the only other occupant of the room.

Sephiroth. 

The General shook his head slightly at the redhead.

“Unbelievable.” Sephiroth muttered, his eyes not leaving the redhead for a second.

“I know right! What a slut!” Zack shook his head as though finding this whole scenario just so farfetched.

“Something tells me he would be down for a wild night of relentless plundering.” Sephiroth's gaze upon Reno intensified as his tongue trailed over his lower lip.

“Yeah, I couldn't agree more.” A smirk tugged at the edge of Reno's lips.

“Well obviously! They act with such reckless abandon! Not that there was anyone else out there but still.” Zack shook his head as he thrust his arms forward to exaggerate his disbelief.

“Did you, uh, see who it was?” Reno finally turned to face Zack.

“Nah, they were going way too fast, like dangerously fast.” Zack exaggerated his point with a flailing of his arm.

“Thank Gaia.”

Chapter 64

“So,”

“So what?”

“Tonight is the night.” Reno declared, the smirk adorning his lips promised a world of ruin in its wake. It was a smirk Zack had come to dread and was synonymous with nothing but complete disaster.

“The night for what?” Zack dared to ask before stuffing a mystery meat sausage down his throat. 

“You know what.” Reno's eyes narrowed upon the Soldier, as if what he was thinking didn't require stating.

“Ngh,” Zack whimpered, his eyes darting around the cafeteria, as though afraid someone might overhear their conversation. 

“That Rufus dare. Remember?” The redhead clarified with a curt nod before rolling his sapphire eyes.

“Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot about that.” Zack mumbled, though his words seemed to be directed more at himself than the redhead seated across from him.

“Well I haven't forgotten.” The Turk leaned in closer, though his demeanor suggested he was more amused than annoyed.

“What Rufus dare?” Cloud's eyes pooled with a mixture of confusion and a fear of missing out on the secret currently coursing between the two.

Reno’s eyes darted to the blonde, as though he had forgotten that the Cadet was even there.

“Maybe we should include Sephiroth, especially after how annoyed he got when we left him out last time.” Zack forced a grin to his lips, as though including Sephiroth might somehow absolve him of this ridiculous dare.

“We just won't mention it in front of him, deal?”

“I suppose. You know Reno, I'll go ahead with this dare on one condition.” Zack stated, deliberately lowering his voice as he leaned in closer. The cafeteria was crowded after all.

Reno's eyes narrowed upon the soldier. Did he dare ask? Though he suspected he already knew what the dark haired man had in mind.

An eye for an eye.

“Oh yeah? State your terms.” The Turk relented, yet the determination etched all over his face remained fierce.

“You have to do a Rufus dare too.”

“You mean sneak into his bed butt naked as well?” Reno scoffed, as though dares of this nature were for amateurs.

“What?!” Cloud gasped in apparent horror as a mouthful of food flew from his lips.

“No, I have something else in mind.” A sly grin crept across the Soldier's lips, apparently he was more interested in delivering his horrendous suggestion to the redhead than the welfare of his aghast blonde friend.

“Hmm?”

“I dare you to lounge about in a sexy pose on his desk.” Zack raised his index finger into the air, as though this were the best idea he had ever had.

“That doesn't sound too bad.” Reno stated as the scepticism slowly evaporated from his eyes.

“Oh, did I forget to add that you have to be completely naked while doing it.” Zack added, though this time he seemed to forget to keep his voice down.

And there was the catch he had been so fervently avoiding.

“Oh yeah? And how will you even know if I've done it?” Reno raised his own index finger into the air before shunting the Soldier’s finger out of the way with the tip of his own, as though it were some kind of game. 

“I'll be the one holding the camera.” Zack winked before running his tongue over his lower lip in a somewhat lewd fashion.

Oh Gaia.

Photographic evidence.

What could possibly go wrong?

This dare was way worse.

Trust Zack to be so grossly unfair.

A shudder ran down Reno's spine, as if someone had not simply walked over his grave, but rather had danced the cabaret on top of it.

“Do you feel that?” The Turk asked, though the question seemed rhetorical as he glanced over his shoulder.

Standing, towering over him like the grim reaper was none other than the great General Sephiroth.

“Uh, hey Seph, uh, tell me, how long have you been standing there?” Reno's eyes peered up at the world's most superior fighter, as though wondering exactly how much of their conversation he had overheard.

“Put it this way Reno, you'll find new job vacancies right next to the obituaries. I’m sure you will find one of those two categories useful.” Sephiroth stated as though predicting Reno's future within a degree of accuracy before tossing today's copy of the Shinra Skeptic newspaper onto the table before the Turk.

“Ugh Zack! Why didn't you tell me the great General Sephiroth was there?” Cloud whispered, giving the Soldier a swift kick under the table.

“Yeah Zack!” Reno growled before dishing out a kick of his own.

Though Cloud's whisper failed to evade the ears of the silver haired General. His eyes fell upon the blonde, a hunger flashed across those emerald eyes as he shamelessly stripped the cadet naked with his eyes.

“The two of you need supervision.” Sephiroth stated, obviously referring to Reno and Zack, yet his eyes remained affixed to the blonde.

“Are you offering to come along?”

“Absolutely not.” Sephiroth spat before reaching out and securing Cloud by the bicep.

“You can’t be trusted with this.” The General added before drawing Cloud to his knees.

“Oh what?!” Zack and Reno both stated in unison.

“I don’t know which is a worse influence, you,” Sephiroth pointed directly at Reno before turning his attention to Zack.

“Or you.”

 

*~.~*

 

“We doing this?”

“Do I have a choice?” Zack all but whimpered as he crouched down next to the redhead.

“Good, because I feel like we have been in this wardrobe for hours.” Reno moaned, wanting nothing more than to outstretch his seized up limbs. 

“Are you sure he's asleep?”

“He hasn't moved for twenty minutes, so yeah?” Reno shrugged, though it was hard to see his movements in the near pitch black wardrobe.

The redhead peered one more time through the slits in the door before gently pressing it open. 

“Come on, let's go.” Reno whispered before creeping out of the wardrobe.

“Hang on, aren't you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“These, they have to come off.” Reno tugged at the man's trousers.

“Damn, you don't miss a beat do you? You're as bad as Sephiroth.” Zack sighed as he began to undo his belt before systematically removing every remaining item of clothing adorning his body.

Reno stood up on his knees, peering over the edge of Rufus’s bed.

“Okay, he's still asleep.” The redhead waved at the Vice President, their shared signal for Zack to move in.

The soldier nodded before rising to his feet and creeping towards the blonde's bed. Zack pried the edge of the blanket back before stalling.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

If Rufus wakes up then they are both straight up screwed.

Hmm…

“Don't just stand there.” Reno mumbled, waving for the man to kick his ass into gear and stop hesitating.

Zack took a deep breath before sliding as carefully as he could under the covers.

“Remember, five minutes Zack. Five minutes.” Reno reiterated as if Zack could possibly forget.

The Soldier barely felt the oxygen enter his lungs as his breath became so shallow that it may as well have ceased all together.

Who knew five minutes could take so long to pass?

He was mere inches away from the Vice President. Inches.

Zack thought the lack of ability to move in the wardrobe was bad, but this was definitely far worse.

He was paralysed by fear.

“One minute.”

“To go?”

“No. One minute has passed.”

Oh Gaia.

Chapter 65

“You look nice.” Zack plastered his lips with a forced grin as he peered up at the General, who stood next to his desk while adjusting his tie into a satisfactory knot.

“What have you done?” Sephiroth stated bluntly, after all, he hardly had time for Zack's ineptitude today of all days. He was about to get his award this afternoon and the whole of Midgar would be watching.

“What do you mean?” Zack tried to make himself appear as innocent as his facial expressions would allow. Maybe that was half the problem. Sephiroth could always read him like the Shinra Skeptic.

“The only time I ever hear a compliment coming out of your lips is when you have fucked up royally.” Sephiroth declared as his emerald eyes locked with the soldier's, as though his words were fact. 

“Just hypothetically speaking…” Zack began before stalling, as though considering his words wisely.

“What?”

“So… Uh… Does Rufus have cameras in his bedroom?” Zack spat the words out at a horrendous velocity, so fast in fact that it was almost as though he didn’t want the General to actually hear them.

“Rufus has cameras everywhere.” Sephiroth sighed as he strode behind his desk before yanking his drawer open and withdrawing a comb.

“Fuck. Do you think he checks them regularly?”

Sephiroth ceased the action of running his comb through his hair to turn and face his second. He eyed the man suspiciously, as though he were about to open a can of Duneworms.

Should he? 

Oh what the hell.

“Why?” Sephiroth dared to ask as his eyes pierced the young Soldier, as though they were an extension of his Masamune.

“No reason!” Zack declared as he waved his hands furiously in front of his chest.

“Don't tell me you actually went through with that rancid dare of Reno's.” The General rolled his eyes, even as the words left his lips, he already knew the answer.

“No! Nope! No!”

“You're an awful liar Zackary. Maybe you should talk to Tseng. He might be able to help you out of this one. I suspect he's already seen the footage.” Sephiroth advised as he adjusted the tie around his neck once more, yet still he remained unsatisfied.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because we’re talking about Tseng here.” Sephiroth stated bluntly, as though his words required no further elaboration.

Zack opened his mouth once more to speak but was promptly silenced as the office door flew open.

Rufus Shinra strode into the office.

Zack's eyes darted to Sephiroth’s as a flicker of panic contaminated his expression.

“To what do we owe this pleasure, Mr Vice President, Sir?” Sephiroth recited the words as though reading them straight from a script. 

“Now say it like you mean it.” Rufus forced a smirk to his lips, one that lacked both sincerity and sympathy.

“My bed smells.” Rufus stated bluntly as he stood before the General, as though expecting the man to do something about it personally.

“I don't see how that's my problem.” Sephiroth stated, genuinely though, he couldn't figure out why the Vice President was telling him this somewhat disturbing fact.

Unless…

Reno…

Zack…

That bloody dare. 

“Zack you idiot.” Sephiroth muttered to himself, his words barely audible, even in the void of silence that had descended upon the office.

“What was that?” Rufus leaned in closer as though afraid the General would fail to repeat his words.

“Nothing.”

“Tseng thought you might be able to tell me why.” Rufus leaned over Sephiroth's desk, as though prepared to stay there for as long as it took to get what he wanted.

“Tseng?” Sephiroth screwed up his face. Damn, so he was right to be suspicious of the Turk's overzealous work ethic.

“Ugh well! See ya!” Zack turned on his heel, heading straight for the only exit faster than you could say ‘I'm going to hell when I die’.

“Zackary, get back here!” Sephiroth growled from behind the confines of his desk.

“So, what exactly does your bed smell like?” Sephiroth dared to ask, yet if truth be told, he'd rather not know.

“Like…” The Vice President stood up straight, his eyes searching the room as though hoping to find an accurate comparison. He sniffed the room before turning to the only other occupant in the office.

“Like him.” Rufus pointed directly at Zack.

“Ugh, I'm sure that's just a coincidence. It's that damn cologne he wears, everyone's using it. What is it called? Mako Madness?” Sephiroth stated, attempting to sound as bored with this drama as the confines of his composure would allow.

“Petroleum Paradise.” Zack corrected before deciding it was safe enough to sit back down behind his desk.

“Well it stinks.” Rufus stated, sliding his fingers through his blonde hair before turning on his heel and striding slowly towards the door, as though unsatisfied with the outcome of this impromptu interrogation.

Sephiroth’s gaze returned to the paperwork stacked on top of his desk, the place upon which it would reside until he was confident that the Vice President was out of earshot.

“Thanks Seph.” Zack whispered, wiping away invisible beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“You idiot Zackary! If Reno told you to jump in front of the Midgar Express would you do it?” Sephiroth rose up from behind his desk, as though threatening to throw the Soldier in front of the locomotive himself.

“Oh I love the Midgar express! It's my favourite train this side of Gaia. But even I know better than to jump in front of it! Come on Seph! What do you take me for?”

Sephiroth sat there, staring at his second as though he had just morphed into a big bucket of goo. One he wanted to pick up and redecorate the walls with.

It was just too easy.

“But seriously, why are you all dressed up?” Zack shrugged as though a chance of topic were in order.

“Haven't you heard? I’m getting an award.”

“Oh! Is that what the ceremony is about today? What's your award for?” Zack grinned as he spun around on his chair for the sixty-fourth time.

“My exemplary performance during a recent mission.” Sephiroth sighed as a nonchalant air hung about him like a ghost.

“What mission? You haven't been on a mission lately. Except that lame one we did in Midgar that turned into a total bust.”

Sephiroth remained silent, so silent in fact, that Zack wasn't sure the man had heard him.

“What mission?” Zack repeated impatiently.

Sephiroth turned his gaze upon the city limits through his office window, as though dreaming of life beyond his glorified confinement.

Sometimes he felt as though he were Shinra's prisoner. It's not as though he would ever be allowed a life outside that of what the company demanded of him.

“Hello…! Gaia to Sephiroth! For the last time, what mission?”

“The archeological excavation in Bone Village.” Sephiroth suddenly coughed out, as though the words were a contaminant in his mouth.

“What?! Bone Village? But… But… But you didn't go, I went! Remember?!”

Oh he remembered alright.

“What do you want me to say Zackary? Oops? I had to stay back and bake Rufus another cake because someone ate it, remember?”

“But, but, but…” Zack fumbled around as though searching not simply for the right words, but any words at all.

“I guess they forgot to update the mission report.” Sephiroth surmised as his gaze finally turned to his Second in Charge.

“Wait? You mean you were supposed to go instead of me?”

“Obviously.” Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes at this predetermined fact. Then again, this was Zack he was talking to.

A sigh escaped the dark haired man's lips as he slumped back in his seat, as though defeated.

“Are you excited at least?”

“No.” The General stated bluntly.

“Come on, you must be excited!”

There was a lot of things Sephiroth was in that moment, however excited was not one of them.

The General's eyes locked upon his second, as though the man were a gigantoad about to be dissected by Masamune.

“You know, if it was me getting that award…” A serenade of Zack's babbling was enough to drive the General to tune out as he found himself once again adjusting the tie on the most formal attire he owned.

“Oh my god, who on Gaia tied your tie?” Zack's jaw fell open as his words tore through the office like a tornado, causing the General to glance down at said tie.

After all, it must be bad if even Zack of all people noticed.

“What's wrong with it? It looks fine to me.” Sephiroth resisted the urge to shrug in favour of composure.

“Here, let me fix it.” Zack flew over to the General at a speed the man had never witnessed from his second before.

“By the way, I invited Vincent to the awards ceremony.” Zack blurted out, as though he had just confessed someone else's secret.

“But Zackary, you didn't even know about the ceremony until five minutes ago.”

“I knew about the ceremony! I just didn't know it involved you and some award you didn't earn.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Oh great. Another human to witness this elaborate spectacle of a PR campaign.

“There, that's better.” Zack grinned as he stepped back, as if to admire his handy work.

Sephiroth glanced down, only to discover that what was once a more than respectable knot in his tie, now held a closer resemblance to a bowl of ramen noodles.

“Zackary! That is not better! That is worse! I can't stand up in front of everyone with my tie looking like that! What will everyone think? The great General Sephiroth is an impeccable fighter, but can't even tie his own tie!”

“Well you fix it then!” Zack whined before slumping back down behind his desk and folding his arms over his chest in an apparent huff.

“There was nothing wrong with it to begin with! Ugh! Why did I let you touch it! Now I'll have to get Reeve to tie it for me again.”

“What? You didn't even tie it yourself the first time?” Zack's jaw fell open

“When do I ever wear a tie Zackary?”

It was a fair point and they both knew it.

“Well Heidegger is just outside in the hallway...”

“I'm not asking Heidegger.” Sephiroth spat without hesitation, making it clear the day he asked the Director of Public security for help was a cold day in hell.

“What's got you all pent up?”

“I'm not pent up! Now go and get Reeve.”

Chapter 66

The time was now.

Everyone would be too busy with Sephiroth's award ceremony to possibly notice.

Zack slammed his fist into the palm of his hand before rising to his feet.

Now all he had to do was find Reno.

 

*~.~*

 

Reno lounged about in front of the TV, his finger began to ache from scrolling through channel after channel of complete garbage.

Maybe Sephiroth was right when he said there was nothing worth watching on TV these days.

He could either watch a documentary about a supposedly extinct Wutaian beetle that had just been found alive and well, or Shinra's latest and greatest developments from the R&D department.

Uck, like he didn't get enough of Palmer at work.

His finger slid over the off button on the remote before pressing it with far too much enthusiasm. A silence consumed the room, one which was promptly shattered by what sounded like a full blown assault was taking place against his door. 

Who could that be?

Reno eyed the door as though contemplating his next move. He was, after all, completely naked and sprawled out on the couch.

Should he just invite whoever they were in?

It was a risky move…

It would just be another round of naked roulette…

What if it was Rufus again? Or Tseng?

In all these years, when had Tseng ever randomly turned up at his apartment? 

Never, that's when.

Oh what the hell.

“Come in!” Reno yelled a little too enthusiastically as he awaited the inevitable look of shock and horror destined to be plastered across whoever's lips.

No sooner had the words left his lips than the door flew open.

Zack strode into the redhead's apartment, not bothering to close the door behind him.

The soldier spotted the Turk almost instantly, his bare skin acting like a homing beacon.

“Looks like you're dressed for the occasion!” Zack grinned as his eyes shamelessly traversed his friend's pale flesh as though he were about to consume him whole with just one bite.

“What occasion?”

Okay now he was confused.

Zack’s jaw dropped in an effort to appear offended, though it was far from convincing. 

“Ugh, don't tell me you've forgotten!”

“Forgotten what?”

“That Rufus dare? Obviously! Come on I had to do a Rufus dare, now it's your turn!”

Damn it. Zack always forgot everything, why couldn't he forget about this as well?

“Ugh why does it have to be right now?”

“Because Rufus is downstairs giving that award to Sephiroth, remember?” Zack tapped his temple repeatedly with his index finger as though the answer were obvious.

“So in other words, we'll get free reign of his office.” Reno mumbled, seemingly resigning himself to this unavoidable fate.

“Do you know what would make this even more exciting?” 

“I'm not walking all the way to his office, completely naked Zack.” Reno cut the Soldier off at the pass before rising to his feet.

“Why not? You've got a great body!”

“Don't try to butter me up Zack.” Reno groaned as he collected a bundle of clothing in his arms.

“Alright then, wear these.” Zack sighed as though Reno were the source of all his disappointment before tossing a small, yet soft ball at the redhead, who caught it with an enviable ease.

“What's this?” Reno asked as he pried the ball apart. Yet he soon answered his own question as the distinctive shape became apparent.

“I am not wearing a g string all the way to Rufus’s office.”

“I think your forgetting something.”

“What?” 

“With the awards ceremony on, no one is around. Like no one! I just checked before coming here! You'll be fine! Just remember, take them off at the door of his office!”

Oh Gaia this dare was way worse than the one Zack did.

 

*~.~*

 

“Are you sure there's no one in here?” Reno whispered as he loitered by the entranceway. Though, why he bothered asking was another matter entirely, he was in too deep as it was.

“Positive.” Zack gestured for the Turk to enter a little too enthusiastically. 

“Remember the rule!” Zack grinned as he watched the redhead take one step into the office before forcing a sigh from his lips.

Reno whisked his underwear down to his ankles in one foul swoop before stepping out of them.

“Don't forget to get them on the way out!” Zack eagerly reminded the redhead.

Oh yes. How could he possibly forget the only thing standing between him and a warrant for his arrest.

“Alright, I reckon you climb onto his desk on all fours, then lean forward while pushing your bum into the air.” Zack's suggestion was hardly that, a suggestion as he winked eagerly at the redhead.

Reno stood there, eyeing the man skeptically, as though he were waiting for option number two.

Option two never came.

“Ugh, fine.” The redhead admitted defeat before climbing on top of Rufus desk, it was but one word, immaculate. 

Well it wasn't going to be after this. 

“Just pretend that you're the centerfold girl in Midgar Mistress.”

“I don't subscribe to that magazine, Zack.” Reno screwed up his face as though disgusted that his friend clearly did.

“Then just pretend Vincent is behind you and about to screw you hard and fast up the bum with his enormous cock.”

Now there was a reference he was familiar with.

Zack pulled out his camera before drawing it to his eye to frame the perfect shot.

It looked as though it were an antique. Where had he been hiding that thing?

“Omg Zack, is that a Polaroid?”

“Yip! The photos will be instant!”

“What do you mean by photos? I thought it was just a photo?”

“One for me, one for you, one for Seph and one for Spikey.” Zack explained before taking the first shot.

“Oh, for the love of Gaia.” Reno groaned as he expelled what breath remained in his lungs.

“I reckon for the next one you're gonna wanna be more sultry. Sit on his desk with your legs wide apart, while facing the camera.”

“Oh Gaia I hope Rufus doesn't see any of these.” Reno groaned as he adopted the latest position.

“Got it! Now bend over his desk with your legs spread apart, aim your bum at the camera like your begging for it!”

“You're way too enthusiastic about this Zack.” Reno groaned as he jumped off of Rufus’s desk before bending back over it.

“Oh and don't forget to smile!” Zack teased as Reno spread his bare cheeks apart.

“Shut up Zack.”

“Hmm… What to do for the last shot?” Zack's eyes traced the man's desk in search of inspiration. 

His eyes soon fell upon the President's latest acquisition, his new shotgun, Kamui.

“Omg! You have to kneel on his with your legs apart while running your tongue up the barrel in a seductive fashion! Like, pretend it's a cock you wanna suck.”

“Oh thank Gaia, I thought you were gonna tell me to…” Reno suddenly stopped, wiping the apprehensive expression from his face before deciding it was best not to give the Soldier any ideas.

“To what?”

“Nothing. Now hurry up, it's cold!” Reno lied as a bead of sweat danced fleetingly down his temple.

“Wait! I know what you were thinking…” Zack's jaw fell open as an idea took form in his mind.

“I'm not using this as a dildo.” Reno stated abruptly, not waiting for his friend to suggest the idea already coursing through both their minds.

“Why? It's not loaded.” The Soldier shrugged, as though this were his only concern. 

“Zack!”

“Imagine the legendary status you would get when everyone finds out!”

“What? As the guy who fucked himself with Rufus Shinra's Rifle? This may come as a surprise, but I don't want to be remembered as that guy!”

“You don't have to put it inside, just sit on it like you wanna put it inside. Like rub your balls all over it.”

“Ugh, need I not remind you that this is a terrible idea.” Reno groaned as he reached for the Kamui despite his better judgement.

“Please! Please! Please!” Zack whined as desperation radiated from his eyes into every facet of his being.

“Ugh fine! If it means I can go back to watching lame tv.” Reno surrendered, maneuvering himself so his back was to the camera. He leant forward slightly, until the camera had an unobstructed view of his opening. 

“Aren't you supposed to be at work?”

Zack raised an eyebrow, though he hardly anticipated an answer as he watched the redhead sit on the barrel before grinding himself against it.

“You're a natural born slut you know Reno.” Zack winked as he took the final photo.

“I'll take that as a compliment now let's get out of here!”

 

Chapter 67

“What are you waiting for?” Zack hissed as he watched Reno gaze, almost longingly at Rufus's immaculate desk.

“Are we really going to let this opportunity pass us by?” Reno murmured as a salacious smirk crept across his lips. It was a smirk Zack knew all too well. Whatever Reno had in mind, it was guaranteed to get them both fired in five seconds or less.

“What do you mean?” Zack asked dubiously, raising an eyebrow as though not sure whether to be afraid, concerned, confused or intrigued.

“Don’t you think that desk looks pristine?" Reno suggested, extending his arm along the vast expanse that was his boss's grossly oversized desk.

“Yeah… So?”

“A little too pristine…?” Reno repeated, as though hoping the man would catch his drift without further prompting.

“What's your point?”

“Oh come on Zack, you know exactly what I'm thinking.” The redhead rolled his eyes, sometimes his friend could be so obtuse.

Zack tilted his head slightly, as though he still had yet to grasp the concept.

“Maybe you can help me to mess it up a little.” Reno winked as that ever present smirk taunted the man.

“Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?” Zack's jaw fell straight to the floor.

Surely he wasn't suggesting they run wild on the Vice President’s desk…?

“Oh come on Zack, it's hardly worse than what we have just done.”

“I suppose.” The Soldier screwed up his face as though he were lost deep in his thoughts.

“Well, either way, I think you're half right.” 

“Half? What do you mean half?”

“I think it's past time for me to take the helm.” Reno smirked as a disturbing determination pooled in his sapphire eyes.

“Huh?”

“Bend over the desk Zackary. I'm gonna fuck you raw.” Reno smirked as he pointed his index finger at the soldier before proceeding to point it at said desk.

“What?!” Zack's eyes bolted open at the suggestion, which he was quickly coming to realise wasn't a suggestion but rather a command.

“If Seph was here, what would he say? Some words of encouragement perhaps?” Reno tapped his finger against his chin as though searching his brain for something of worth.

Zack stood there as though not sure whether to prompt the redhead for said words or wait for them to spew forth from the man's lips.

“Be strong Zack! Exercise your true strength!”

“True strength? What does that have to do with….” Zack began, not bothering to disguise the trepidation in his voice, as though he were afraid Reno would make him prove his ‘true strength’.

Whatever that was.

“It's not how much you give that makes you strong, it's how much you can take.” Reno winked before delivering the man a decisive slap across the ass.

“Come on Soldier boy, time to show me how much you can take.” Reno's tongue trailed over his lips, as though he were the personification of the calm before the storm.

Zack froze as though he had been petrified into stone. His eyes locked with the redhead's, as though he were anticipating a sneak attack from the Turk.

“Come now Zack, you're not scared, are you?” Reno teased as a chuckle escaped his lips.

“No! I'm not scared of anything!”

“Good!” Reno huffed as though amused by either the man's antics or the events yet to unfold. The redhead grasped the Soldier by the wrist with precision only a Turk could master before twisting his arm and forcing the man over the desk.

“Then let's get started, shall we?” Reno chuckled, deriving far too much fun from this activity than either of them were expecting. Without further warning, he yanked Zack's trousers down to his ankles in one foul swoop.

“W-wait!” 

“It will be fun Zack, I promise.” Reno teased as he trailed his tongue along the man's earlobe before decisively jabbing it into the man's ear canal, as though the act were a prelude to what was to come.

“Don't worry, I'll be gentle, I promise.”

Something about the redhead's words failed to reassure Zack, perhaps it was the mocking tone with which they were delivered.

Reno fell to his knees behind the man, wasting not but a second as he pried the Soldier's cheeks apart before driving his tongue inside.

“Ngh!” Zack groaned as he sunk his fingernails into the sleek wooden surface of Rufus Shinra's desk. Damn that felt good but damn Reno needed to hurry up if they didn't want to get caught.

“You better hold on tight.” Reno chuckled as he rose to his feet once more before leaning over the man. The redhead slid his left hand over Zack's, interlacing his slender fingers with the Soldier's, as though gently preparing him for what would be a savage onslaught.

Reno pressed his groin flush against the Soldier's backside, using his free hand to angle his cock, pressing the tip hard up against Zack's opening.

“Ready?” Reno taunted, though whether the Soldier were in fact ready remained irrelevant, as the determination of the redhead could hardly be thwarted.

“Ngh!” Zack moaned as the tip of the Turk's cock pressed through his opening. Reno drove his cock deep inside the man underneath him, not ceasing his movements until he was completely buried inside the tight confines of the man's body.

“Reno!” Zack struggled to release even the man's name from his lips as his breath grew shallow.

Reno slid his wrist wrist around the man's waist before collecting his cock within his grasp. He gripped the organ as though the entirety of his life depended upon it.

“Argh!” Zack moaned as his body instinctively ground back against the man penetrating him, as though no amount of the man's length was enough to satisfy his sudden, insatiable hunger.

Reno continued to bury himself inside of Zack's loosening opening, again and again as an undeniable pressure began to build up inside his groin.

“Damn it Zack.” Reno muttered as he felt as though he were about to burst.

“Ngh! Do it Reno!” Zack moaned as he clawed at Rufus's desk.

The redhead sunk his fingernails into Zack's bare hips as ripples of pleasure cascaded through his groin. As soon as it had started, it felt like it was over as the redhead slumped over the soldier beneath him.

Damn that felt good. Reno caught his breath as his brain began to re-engage. Damn.

His eyes suddenly darted around the room, as though afraid he might have missed an intruder in all the madness.

“Come on! Now we really have to get out of here!” Reno shouted a little too loudly as he slapped Zack's bare ass.

 

 

*~.~*

 

 

“Are you alright Zackary?” Sephiroth's emerald eyes had descended upon his second as the dark haired man limped into the office.

“Fine! Perfectly fine! Never better!” The Soldier forced a grin to his lips, one that appeared to grow more contrived with every passing second that he was forced to hold it.

“I noticed you weren't at my awards ceremony Zackary.” The General's gaze traced up and down the soldier's form, as though trying to ask him why he was limping with his eyes alone.

“Ugh, oh yeah, about that…” Zack mumbled, his words having no clear direction as they fumbled out of his mouth.

“Is that because you were upset that you didn't get the award?” Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, yet even as the words left his lips, it was clear that even he knew this wasn't the case.

“No.”

“Then maybe you weren't there because you had more pressing matters to attend to?”

“Ugh…” Zack began as his eyes darted furiously between the General and the nearest exit.

“Nothing could possibly be more important than your big ceremony Seph!” Zack declared to the otherwise empty office as he plonked himself down at his desk.

“Except Reno perhaps?” The General's face failed to falter, his expression seemed only to intensify as he rose from behind his enormous desk.

“Argh! So you know about that?!” Zack grimaced as he waved his arms out in front of his chest before carrying on.

“It wasn't my idea, I swear! Well the first part was but the last part was entirely Reno.”

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as he glared down at his second.

What the hell was he blabbering about?

“What are you on about Zackary?”

“Ugh… I don't know, what are you on about?” Zack grimaced as though even he knew it was too late to backtrack from the verbal mess.

“I noticed that neither you, nor Reno were in attendance. You weren't by any chance on another social outing without me, were you?"

“Huh? What? No!” Zack waved his arms out in front of his chest in an extremely defensive fashion.

Some might even say, too defensive.

“I find that difficult to believe, Zackary.”

“No! Really! We both had to go do this job for the Vice President.”

“Oh, I see, and does Rufus Shinra actually know about this job?” Sephiroth raised a skeptical eyebrow at his second as he reached for the phone residing upon his desk, as though threatening to call the Vice President himself.

“I really hope not.”

Chapter 68

“Now, there is one final matter I wish to discuss.” Rufus sighed before rising up out of his seat. His cerulean eyes made a point of dancing over every member of his executive team, as though deciding whether he could truly trust them with regard to this next issue.

“I believe my equipment has been tampered with.” Rufus's gaze fell upon Heidegger, as though either suspecting the man or blaming him for his failings as Chief of Security.

“What do you mean, Sir?” Tseng interrupted, seeming to be the only person in the room to display as much concern as the Vice President himself. 

“Before the recent awards ceremony, I deliberately left my new Kamui at the edge of my desk. However, upon my return, I found it slightly ajar.” Rufus clarified, his eyes scanning the occupants of the room once more, as though waiting for one of them to falter and admit it was them. His gaze fell upon Palmer, his clumsiness did, after all, make him the most likely candidate.

That was assuming of course that this was all just a misunderstanding.

“Perhaps someone accidentally brushed up against it.” Tseng suggested, yet even his raven eyes betrayed the fact that even he did not believe this to be the case.

“No.” Rufus made no effort to disguise the fact he too was thoroughly unconvinced of such a scenario. His eyes searched the room once more, as though determined to uncover the perpetrator amongst them.

A silence descended upon the room, a silence that quickly turned to uncomfortable. Perhaps the executives felt as though they were being accused, either that or they collectively thought the Vice President was being ridiculous.

“Tseng, I would like you to review the video footage of my office over that time period.” The Vice President stated with an air of finality.

“As you wish, Sir.”

“Let me know what you uncover. Meeting adjourned."

 

*~.~*

 

“Here is the tape you requested.” Heidegger stated gruffly as he carelessly flung a tape onto Tseng's desk, narrowly missing the man’s keyboard.

“Thank you.” The Head of the Turks acknowledged dismissively, as though attempting to drive the feral beast away with his words alone.

“You know, if we have a security breach, it's really up to me to resolve it.” Heidegger stated as he remained in front of Tseng's desk, as though to spite the Turk.

“I'm not entirely convinced we have a breach.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why move the weapons position upon the table? Why not abscond with the weapon entirely?” Tseng sighed, as though this deduction should have been obvious to any investigator.

“That would make this an internal matter, I think you better leave this assignment to me.”

“The President assigned it to me.” Tseng reiterated, sliding his hand over the tape as though afraid Heidegger might snatch it back.

The Director gazed down at the man, as though threatening to force his hand before finally turning on his heel.

“I'd like to know what you find.” Heidegger growled like a starving animal, as though threatening to devour the Head of the Turks if he failed to comply before finally leaving the office.

Tseng took a deep breath before grasping the tape and sliding it into the player under his desk.

What was he going to find?

Nothing of any real consequence. Most likely someone is just playing a prank.

There's no way any outsider could get past security.

No way. Even with the ceremony on.

He wound the tape to the beginning of the requested time frame.

Empty office.

Kamui at the edge of the desk.

Nothing unusual.

Yet.

Then, at precisely 2pm, a dark haired figure entered the office before gesturing towards the door. A second figure followed suit, striding shamelessly into the office.

The second figure was naked.

Naked, redheaded and undeniable.

Tseng gasped as his heart suddenly pounded in his chest.

Whatever Tseng had expected to find on that tape, it certainly wasn't this.

His eyes narrowed upon the screen, switching the speed to slow motion, as though afraid of missing even the slightest detail.

His eyes traced the redhead, his pale body glistening in the afternoon sunlight as he adopted sultry pose after sultry pose on top of the Vice President’s desk.

Tseng's eyes fixated on the footage before him, unable to glance away for even a mere second.

He could watch this all day.

No.

He mustn't view his subordinate in this fashion.

Only, the gods must be favouring him today.

One thing was for sure, to the rest of the world, this tape no longer existed. 

Damn he wished the video footage included audio as he watched the nude redhead point directly at Zack before pointing at Rufus Shinra's desk.

Tseng tilted his head slightly, a part of him was dying to see what happened next, yet another remained hesitant.

Though, right now, no amount of reservation would be able to stem the tide as his ebony eyes remained affixed to the screen.

Zack was now bent over the Vice President’s desk.

Surely not.

Tseng leaned in closer, watching with undeniable intrigue as Reno adopted a position behind the soldier.

If he had found it difficult to look away before, then it was impossible now.

 

*~.~*

 

“Zack!”

“What?”

“Where's the fourth Polaroid?”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s only three here.” Reno groaned, tossing the three photos on the coffee table as evidence. 

“Maybe the other one fell on the floor.” Zack suggested with a rather non-chalant shrug.

“Floor of where? Rufus Shinra's office!? We have to find it!” Reno refrained from utilizing his inside voice in favor of his shouting, outside voice.

“Which one is missing? It's not the one with Kamui, is it?” Zack struggled to suppress his amusement.

“Zack, it's not funny!”

Reno's eyes darted to the trinity scattered across the coffee table as the disturbing realization hit him like the Midgar Express.

“Shit! It is!”

 

*~.~*

 

Rufus stood before the window of his office, his eyes gazing out upon the vast emerald expanse his family had created.

Midgar.

The President paced his office, as though doing so would provoke a solution to the predicament currently plaguing his mind.

He paced towards the door before turning on his heel.

Something near the entrance had caught his eye.

He knelt down to pick the shiny object from the floor.

Was this… A Polaroid? 

Who uses a Polaroid camera these days? Probably some old geyser. 

The President sighed before narrowing his eyes upon the image greeting him.

Was that…?

No…

Surely not?

His eyes traced Reno's naked body as he crouched over his Kamui, right there, on his very desk, mere feet from where he currently stood. The Turk was rubbing a very intimate part of his body over its barrel as though it were a certain part of the male anatomy.

Well fuck.

He hadn't seen this coming.

He'd expect this sort of behavior from Zack when he was on a bender but not from Reno.

Actually, who was he kidding? Of course Reno would do something like this.

Scenarios such as this call into question the caliber of personnel employed by the company.

Though it does solve the mystery of why his weapon was not in the exact position he had left it in. 

Rufus’s gaze lingered upon the photo. In the wrong hands, this image was blackmail gold. 

In his hands though…? 

Rufus grasped the photo a little tighter within his grasp, as though afraid it may fall from his fingers into some dismal abyss.

In his hands, it was masturbation fodder for not months, but years to come.

Rufus paced over to his desk drawer, sliding the key out of his pocket before unsealing the lock.

He slid the photo inside the drawer before locking it once more.

Its security was paramount.

His eyes then turned to Kamui as it lay strewn about his desk.

He reached for the weapon, grasping the handle before drawing the barrel to his lips. He closed his eyes, as though he had reached the point of no return. He couldn't believe he was about to do this. The blonde hesitated for a moment before trailing his tongue along the barrel. If any of Reno’s residue was on here, he would consume it.