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Family was an odd term. Would family be the word to describe what he saw before him?
There was Rin, an orphaned girl from the rickety old village he had passed so long ago. Roughly ten years old, she had warmed his heart by proving her bravery and kind heartedness from a young age. As days become weeks she became like a daughter to him - someone to love and protect and help grow and flourish. He didn’t regret saving her that day, and never will.
There was Ah-Un, a horse that had been with him for as long as he could recall. Having never spoken once, required no favors in return, and yet dutifully remained his faithful servant, often offering as transportation and company to Rin and Jaken when he went off to do his own things.
Jaken was his servant for life - lowly and, at times, incompetent, yes - but he was quite useful to Sesshomaru. And Sesshomaru would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that his little imp servant had entertained him and even grown on him a little, what with his occasionally funny comments.
Occasionally funny.
The idiot almost never knew when to keep his mouth shut.
Kagura, the wind sorceress was another story. Elusive, witty, snappy, yet intriguing - secrets she kept within her, yet having the gall, even at her lowest, to approach Sesshomaru with a haughty expression and a demand. However, her piercing, yet kind gaze was never too far off. Kagura was someone who intrigued Sesshomaru, someone who, if given the circumstances, he would want to get to know better. But she was off working with Naraku and he had better things to do.
Still, though, he enjoyed her little visits, her snippy remarks, how her face seemed to light up when she smiled… when he responded.
He considered the possibility of her returning again soon. He couldn’t say he detested the idea.
The only other person besides these people (mostly demons) was a young boy… a demon slayer, to be precise. His name was Kohaku, and when he joined the group abruptly, it wasn’t the first time he and Sesshomaru had met. He had met him once before, when he almost killed Rin when Naraku used her as a hostage, and him as a puppet. Sesshomaru was pissed at the pup for trying to kill Rin, but he took notice, after dwelling on the events as time had passed, that the boy was more craftier than he looked. He didn’t miss the hesitation of the boy when near enough to Rin to be able to kill her, and the abrupt decision to fight Sesshomaru instead.
It was apparent enough that he didn’t want to kill the girl and instead was forced to do yet another one of Naraku’s commands. At the time it didn’t stand out to him - just another rash decision made by Naraku, what else was new? - but now he caught himself thinking. Why did the boy choose this group in the first place? Obviously because Sesshomaru was strong and capable of defeating Naraku. It could also be that he didn’t want to be near his sister, who’s tale he had heard when he overheard Rin and Kohaku have an exceptionally emotional conversation.
There were many reasons as to why he joined the group, but to be so devoted ? Playing with Rin, listening to Jaken, feeding Ah-Un… the very reason for the boy to be so friendly and at home here was beyond Sesshomaru’s understanding. He couldn’t grasp it.
He looked up at the night sky, viewing the mass of twinkling stars up above. The cool wind flowed through his hair, cooling his body and his mind. Whatever the reason, he needn’t dwell on it.
Or didn’t he?
He thought again of Rin, how most of his time was thinking about ways to make sure she was happy - to make sure she was protected. He thought a lot about her, listened to her… these were all signs that he cared.
Did he care for the boy?
He thought of the laughter from the children as he chased Rin in the fields, the yelp of surprise from Rin as she saw him fish a humongous carp straight from the lake, he and Rin teasing Jaken after the demon berated them for “wandering off”...
He thought of some time ago, when a demon attacked Kohaku and Rin, unaware of Sesshomaru’s presence. However, Sesshomaru, at the time, was preoccupied with another youkai (he thought it to be another one of Naraku’s incarnations, judging off the scent), who was proving to be a formidable foe, even for this Sesshomaru.
He vaguely heard Kohaku yell at Rin to run and the rustling of wind as Ah-Un took off, with Rin in tow. Sesshomaru realized that Kohaku was facing a demon past his capabilities, even with the Shikon shard’s enhancement. It was very likely that Kohaku would die, and Sesshomaru very well couldn’t revive him due to the use of the shard to bring him to life once more.
He recalled feeling, at the time… worried. Anxious to turn around and slay the demon. He wanted… he apparently wanted Kohaku to be safe. Did Kohaku matter to him? Was he on the same level that Rin was?
These were unusual questions and thoughts for Sesshomaru to be thinking. He never considered that he would care for many people - a small handful, maybe, but care for too many and he may as well be Inuyasha. Too soft-hearted to cause damage to anyone, ultimately rendering him useless. Besides, why would he care for this boy, once used as a puppet for Naraku?
He recalled seeing the boy’s laughing face as he and Rin slid down the snowy hill, the pure happiness one looks when it’s been clear this is the first time they’ve been truly happy in a long, long while.
…
Why would he care? He shouldn’t. Rin was the only human he should be bothered about, and that was because he was basically raising her by this point. He didn’t need more people. Let alone someone that could easily be a liability, like a child.
He tried to force his mind to wander elsewhere. His father, his legacy, defeating Inuyasha, defeating Naraku, seeing Kagura again…
A small noise from behind him. Quiet, unsuspecting, but apparent. Sesshomaru stayed silent, and didn’t move. Sesshomaru turned around quietly, so as to not wake anyone. Not that it was possible, with Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un bundled up in his MokoMoko, who were all able to sleep through a thunderstorm.
The sound was coming from Kohaku, who, to Sesshomaru’s surprise, wasn’t sleeping near the group, but underneath a tree, a little way aways from them. He was tossing and turning, whimpering slightly. He was muttering things - quite softly, but Sesshomaru was able to catch some phrases, such as the words “Anu-e” and “blood”. He must be having a nightmare about his sister, Sesshomaru concluded. It seemed the only logical choice.
It wasn’t that big of a deal. It could all be sorted out in due time. He should, really, just wait for him to get over it. It was bound to be over eventually, and if not, that wasn’t Sesshomaru’s problem. The boy would drift off to sleep soon. It wasn’t of his concern.
And yet - and yet - Sesshomaru found himself stepping towards Kohaku and kneeling down next to him. Sesshomaru put his hand to his cheek, feeling the wet tears that stained it. Kohaku stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. He reached out and touched the hand that held him, opening his eyes slightly. “Lord… Sesshomaru?” He said faintly, seemingly still sleepy.
Sesshomaru could say a lot of things at that moment. He briefly considered it. To not be too hard of himself, to talk more about what happened… he thought of Kagome and how she may handle that little kitsune orphan she is so fond of. How would a caring person like her handle a terrified child like this? Much better (or, for better term, much kinder) than he ever could. It wasn’t his style to be openly affectionate with others. It just wasn’t him . He never felt comfortable with it, either.
Looking at Kohaku now, Sesshomaru realized something, something he knew was important, despite how much he denied it.
Looking at Kohaku and seeing his tired, hurt, and guilty demeanor, a thought… no, a feeling registered in his mind. A feeling he was always aware of but didn’t approach it head-on until this very moment.
Whenever Sesshomaru saw Rin, he felt a warm feeling, a bubbling joy in his heart. To see her lively, and happy, and playful, and free… far, far away from the troubles he or anyone else could be facing. Far away from her own past troubles and mishaps. He wanted it to always be this way, for her to run in fields and play and be content, knowing he will always be there to protect her. That warm feeling, the feeling of loving someone and taking care of them and protecting them, is what convinced Sesshomaru to save the girl, to take her in… to, eventually, open his heart up to her.
Seeing Kohaku now, Sesshomaru realized he felt the same way he did with Rin. The same warm feeling of wanting to protect someone and love them and watch them grow up happy… he felt the same way about Kohaku. He wanted to see the boy heal, knowing full well it wasn’t his fault what happened, despite all the times he thinks to himself how it could have been different.
The truth of the matter was that everyone in his little family mattered to me. A wind wielder, youkai, a little girl… and even a demon slayer had wormed their way into his heart.
All of these things were able to be said, but incapable of being explained in a way by him that would make sense. Instead, Sesshomaru removed his hand and stood up, saying, “Go back to sleep.” Sesshomaru nodded towards Rin and her little sleeping group. Kohaku rubbed his eyes, nodding to show that he understood. Sesshomaru watched him crawl towards them and snuggle into the MokoMoko next to Rin.
There was no noise.
Sesshomaru glanced up at the sky. The stars kept twinkling, as they always did. The sky was breathtakingly beautiful, but Sesshomaru paid no heed to that. Indeed, gawking over the night sky was for simple-minded folk. No, Sesshomaru’s thoughts had wandered off… ceasing into nothing. He enjoyed the silence. It was comforting, a solace in the hustle and bustle of caring for his companions and warding off demons and constantly on the lookout for Naraku.
“You know, Lord Sesshomaru,” a voice - Kohaku - said.
Sesshomaru turned slightly to look at him, not showing any emotion.
“I’ve heard… from Sango, Inuyasha… that you were ruthless, even cold. But… I can’t see why….” Kohaku said.
“In fact,” he continued, seeming to be unaware of what he was saying by that point.
“I think you’re… quite nice.”