Chapter Text
Seven years ago, all the walls of her room were covered in posters of the beautiful green-eyed blond, Adrien Agreste, who was not only a renowned model, friend and classmate, but the target of an unrequited love. Now, that love was but a dim memory, and the only Agreste photo, hanging on her door, was, for one thing, that of his father, Gabriel, and for another, being used as a dartboard.
Also, she no longer called herself Marinette Dupain-Cheng; the pigtails have long since been replaced by a bob cut; the only things left unchanged were the round black earrings, a reminder of her heroic past.
Carefully stroking the napping Tikki’s head, the girl opened the window to let fresh air into the room. Of course, one could hardly call the air in this part of Paris fresh; thick with exhaust and the nearby dump’s ‘aromas’, it made one want to wince. However, between these smells, which still had some oxygen in them, and the stale air of a moldy damp room, the girl tended to choose the former.
For the past five years, Marinette’s home was a one-room flat in a house which used to be a workers’ residence. The size was nothing to be proud of; there was only enough space for a small bed and a narrow closet. There was no room even for a table; instead there was a hinged board attached to the windowsill. But, once that improvised table was unfolded, there was no way to approach the closet, and the only way to climb off the bed remained from the back. The bathroom was no better; a toilet bowl, a constantly leaking sink and a shower attached to the wall. No bath, no shower stall, nothing but the constant humidity spreading throughout the flat, which, by the way, didn’t even have a kitchen.
But the girl didn’t complain. At least she was alive.
***
When, seven years ago, Marinette’s natural bad luck brought her to the wrong place at the wrong time, and her inherent clumsiness made her drop in a manner that made her invisible to others, she couldn’t imagine this misfortune will reveal Hawk Moth’s identity to her.
The girl was about to stand up or at least crawl out from under those damned boards (so she got lost while looking for the location of Gabriel Agreste’s show, big deal), but heard someone’s steps. On the one hand, Marinette could call for help, on the other – how to explain she ended up in storage space? That could mean problems for Adrien, who helped Alya get the show tickets.
The decision to pretend she’s another board was instant. No one could see Marinette, so all she had to do was wait until alone again, then transform into Ladybug, kick everything piled upon her everywhere (to teach it not to fall on lost girls), and finally go enjoy the view of the latest fashion collection.
Except the person to enter was Gabriel Agreste, who had decided to go into a quiet, empty distant room, and ask his kwami whether there is a potential akuma target nearby.
***
Her love’s father turned out to be her worst foe. The news had stunned poor Marinette like a club to the head. The desire to both defeat Hawk Moth and protect Adrien from the trauma (who would want to know his father was to blame for all the troubles of Paris?) have fused together, giving birth to a surprise idea; all she needed was to deprive Hawk Moth of his superpowers. Then, there was no need to worry about new attacks of the akumatized, and also absolutely no need to reveal the villain’s identity to the world. Even Chat Noir had no need to know!
Some time before that, Marinette had learned from Alya about the option to send delayed emails. Just in case (should her plan fail), she wrote a letter where she confessed to being the heroine of Paris, along with revealing Hawk Moth’s identity. Should anything happen, in two days the letter will be automatically sent to Alya Césaire’s address. Should she return safe and sound, she’ll delete it at once.
The preparations complete, Ladybug suited up and left her room.
***
When Gabriel Agreste had entered his study, he did not expect to see the heroine of Paris, whose earrings he’s been trying to obtain at all cost. Even less expected were the words ‘Hello, Hawk Moth’. But even more surprising was the fact of Ladybug offering him an ultimatum; his Miraculous Stone in exchange for a quiet life.
The heroine was a coldhearted blackmailer. The words ‘I wonder, how will Adrien react, once he learns what his father’s been doing’ were a knife in Gabriel Agreste’s heart, who, since his wife’s death, had no one left but his son. The designer knew the kindhearted Adrien will be disappointed at his father, even though the motive for Hawk Moth’s actions was to make them both happy. But, damn it, did he spend so much time looking for the Miraculous Stones, only to give up so easily?
“Should anything happen to me, Chat Noir will be the first one to learn where I went and why,” only upon hearing these words did Gabriel pay attention to the heroine having come to him without her partner. “And right after him, the news will spread through the media. How do you think, Monsieur Agreste, what will be quicker; the Cataclysm, or the police?”
Gabriel had no way of knowing how much effort it took for Ladybug to appear so cold and confident before him. Marinette, under the mask, was shaking from fear, worry and anxiety. She used to respect the man; yesterday, his son was her whole world. Now, her main concern was the safety of Paris, yet still she felt guilt over her blackmail, when she took Hawk Moth’s treasure out of his trembling hands.
She promised to keep his identity secret, and, in order to prove how serious she was, and quell the stings of conscience, had made the greatest mistake of her life; Ladybug had taken the mask off in front of her worst enemy.
And a month later, having received seven bullet wounds, Marinette Dupain-Cheng fell off a bridge into the Seine.
***
Marinette never did learn how, after that, she ended up in the 13th arrondissement, which had the biggest Chinatown of Europe.
Madame Zhou, an aged Chinese, had pulled her back from the afterlife and onto her feet.
The rehabilitation took two years, the girl being unconscious during the first one. Did madame Zhou know she had nursed the missing heroine of Paris back to health? That, Marinette couldn’t say; Tikki insisted she’s been hiding from everyone throughout that time. And yet, the aged Chinese never questioned the young girl having seven bullet wounds. ‘To each his own secrets,’ she answered once to Marinette’s unspoken question.
Tikki had suggested more than once for her charge to return home, but she was afraid.
Officially, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was dead, even having her own empty grave at the cemetery. It wasn’t hard to guess Gabriel Agreste took care of her afterlife ticket. Who knew what the man could do should he realize she was alive? Should he send some thugs to attack her parents’ bakery because of her, Marinette will never forgive herself.
And so, she decided that rising from the dead isn’t the best idea.
When she asked for help with a new identity, Madame Zhou’s only reaction was asking ‘who do you want to be?’, and so, in two days, Marinette was Emma Lee. A few more months were spent by her in Chinatown, afraid to show herself on the street and be recognized by an acquaintance. In that time, she gained mastery of Chinese (which she never had the chance to before) sufficient to pass herself off as an actual Chinese (thankfully, she was one on her mother’s side).
Eventually, Marinette started feeling ashamed of depending on Madame Zhou, and so had decided to officially start a new life. With the help of the omnipresent Chinese diaspora web, Mademoiselle Emma Lee found herself a place; a one-room flat in one of the slummiest neighborhoods of Paris, which most certainly won’t be visited by any of Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s former acquaintances. In order to pay the rent (thankfully, the abhorrent condition made it a low one), the girl became a waiter in the local club-restaurant – a seedy place, but good enough for her.
For two more years, the former heroine lived like that…
Until one day, a white butterfly flew into her window. Just like the ones she used to release from her yo-yo after a cleansing.
Dark terror had paralyzed Marinette, all but used to her new life by now. How? She did have the time to pass Hawk Moth’s Miraculous to Master Fu! There were no villain attacks on Paris in four years. Nothing but Chat Noir helping out the police now and then. Where could that moth had come from?
She got her answer the next day, along with a knock on the door from her former classmate, Nathaniel Kurtzberg.
With a painfully familiar brooch on the lapel of his jacket.
***
Nathaniel learned about Marinette being Ladybug from his kwami, Nooroo, who was surprised to see the dark-haired girl’s portrait in his new charge’s room.
At first, Nathaniel was too shocked at being chosen as the new hero of Paris, moreover, as Hawk Moth, who did earn the reputation of a most notorious villain. Which is why it took him time to notice the strange behavior of the kwami, who used to spend hours floating in front of the portrait. Not that he knew what his new friend’s normal behavior was like.
“A beauty, right?” Kurtzberg asked one day. “She used to be my first love.”
“Used to be?” Nooroo asked back.
“Yes. Marinette died four years ago,” the pain was still obvious in the newly-made Hawk Moth’s voice.
“But she’s alive,” the kwami objected. He sensed clearly that the Ladybug Miraculous had never changed its owner, nor did it return to the Guardian. Therefore, Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, who definitely was the one wearing the Ladybug’s mask, had to be alive.
Once he learned from Nooroo everything about how the heroine of Paris once came to the old Hawk Moth, blackmailed the Miraculous Stone away from him, and revealed her identity to the foe, it took a long time for Nathaniel to come to his senses; too great was the shock. He was so happy that Marinette had survived; after all, he spent so much time watching and rewatching that video recorded by a chance passerby, the video that became Paris’ main news for months. A video where a black car stops next to the ordinary schoolgirl, Marinette, then a tinted window rolls down, and a few seconds later the girl, staggering from the bullet wounds, makes a step back and, bumping into the bridge railing, drops over it into the Seine. He still had nightmares about these images. And he could easily guess who ordered the hit on poor Marinette – after all, the only enemy of the nice, beautiful, infinitely kind girl was the former Hawk Moth. Alas, the kwami was silent – he had no right to reveal his former master’s identity.
With the Miraculous Stone having been tainted by the former owner’s evil, the powers of the new Hawk Moth were limited. He could not empower people with supernatural abilities, as all former Moths could. But at least Nathaniel could release butterflies capable of finding any person in a city of two million, by homing in on their heart’s call. And so Kurtzberg found Marinette, now calling herself Emma.
The moment he saw Gabriel Agreste’s photo on her door, he figured out both his former Miraculous owner’s identity, and the reason for Marinette not making his identity public. She’s always been way too kind.
Alas, she has always been not only kind, but stubborn as well. Marinette was refusing out flat to return to the world of the living, make Gabriel Agreste face justice for all he did (that would have made all her sacrifices meaningless!), nor make any changes to the current situation. Nathaniel was forced to give up, on the condition that she allowed him to visit from time to time.
And Marinette did allow it. Moreover, she kept working at the club during the evenings, and during the day, she drew clothing sketches which Kurtzberg was passing on to designers, including the reviled Gabriel Agreste – after all, he was paying most handsomely.
And so it went on for three more years.
***
The girl flinched at a sudden phone call. Only three people could be calling her; Madame Zhou (which was very rare), Monsieur Feng (who was her boss, yet his calls were even rarer than Madame Zhou’s) and Nathaniel Kurtzberg (whose calls were a routine occurrence). As such, even without looking at the incoming number, Marinette accepted the call and asked:
“Nate, do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Four in the morning,” a somewhat excited voice came out of the phone. “The time you return from work.”
“And go to sleep,” the girl reminded, covering her mouth at a yawn. “What happened?”
“Gabriel Agreste committed suicide.”
Marinette nearly dropped her phone. Perhaps she misheard?
“Wh-what d-did you s-say?” ironic; for the first time in seven years she was stuttering, and ones again thanks to an Agreste. Albeit a different one.
“Gabriel Agreste committed suicide,” Nathaniel repeated. “I trust you are in no mood for sleep now?”
“What sleep?” Marinette bit her lower lip and glanced at the thoroughly perforated photo of her worst enemy. “But how and why?”
“I don’t know the details,” she heard Nathaniel breathing hard, as if he was running upstairs. “But it should definitely be discussed. You can open the door in a minute.”
The line went silent, and Nathaniel, as promised, crossed the threshold of his former classmate’s flat in exactly a minute.
***
“I’m not returning,” the young woman was adamant.
“But, Marinette…”
“Emma. The name is Emma.”
“Very well, Emma,” how Nathaniel hated that name! It was totally alien; didn’t fit her at all. But unless he wanted to be kicked out, he had to follow her rules. “With him dead, nothing is stopping you from returning. So why?”
“And what will I say?” she crossed her arms. “Mom, Dad, Alya, I was alive all that time?”
“For starters,” Nate nodded.
“It’s too late to return now. They believe me dead anyway.”
“Marinette, but you’re alive,” interrupted Tikki, awake from their bickering. She alone had the right to address her by the old name. “Your parents will be so happy, you’ll see!”
“And then the questioning, the police, the end to my secret identity,” the girl started counting on her fingers, “Madame Zhou will be arrested for helping me with the documents, and I will be jailed for living with a fake ID for six years. No thanks.”
“You had valid reasons for doing that,” Kurtzberg spoke his thoughts. “I’m certain we can convince the police.”
“You do realize then I’ll be forced to reveal that Gabriel Agreste used to be Hawk Moth?”
“But he is dead,” Nooroo noted, sitting down on the bed next to his crimson friend. “I can feel it clearly, with him being my former owner.”
“I don’t care about him either,” the girl barked.
How could her friends fail to understand her? She gave up everything upon deciding to remain dead, so as not to cause any more problems for anyone. Moreover, even earlier, she made a deal with her foe, to protect his own son. And should she return now, tell the whole world that seven years ago she’s been peppered with bullets as a ‘loving gift’ from Gabriel Agreste, what would be the point of all her ordeals? Seven years ago, she was determined not to take Adrien’s father away from him; how could she take him away now that he was dead?! Let him at least have some good memories of his father, even though Marinette remembered Gabriel was hardly a caring parent to his son.
“Is that all because of Adrien?” Nathaniel suggested. “Do you still love him?”
“No,” the girl closed her eyes, considering how to best put words to her feelings. “No to both questions. At least, almost no. He was my first love, but I gave up my feelings the moment I decided to take his father’s Miraculous away. It’s just that… should I come back now, should I reveal the truth about Gabriel’s identity… I feel like these seven years of my life will become meaningless. Because, had I revealed his secret back then, nothing would have happened. Understand, Nate, I cannot return. This is stronger than me.”
Kurtzberg nodded. He was expecting something like this, yet still came with the hope that Marinette will reconsider. He was at her funeral. He saw the tears of her parents, of Alya, of her friends. Even Chloé had been sobbing over her grave! Everyone would have been so happy had Marinette turned out to be alive. Nate himself was so happy at finding her! Yet the stubborn woman refused to make any changes in her life. Perhaps, should she see her family and friends, she will decide to return? Well, was worth a try; after all, Gabriel Agreste was their classmate’s father, which meant Alya and Nino will definitely come to support Adrien.
“Are you coming to the funeral?”
“Why?” Marinette snickered. “To spit upon his grave?”
“At least for that,” Nate smiled. “Don’t you want to personally see your worst foe in a coffin? As far as I know, Mademoiselle Emma Lee does have a mourning attire with a black veil among her clothes.”
Nathaniel was right; a year ago Marinette, or rather Emma, had to accompany Madame Zhou at the funeral of some Chinese diaspora bigwig. The older woman suggested that the girl put on a hat with a veil in order to conceal her face; after all, a lot of the people at the funeral had problems with the law. Marinette made both the hat and the veil herself, and the mourning attire was still in her closet.
“Some of my friends are bound to be there.”
“It’s been seven years,” felt weird, convincing a person of something, when you yourself want the exact opposite to happen, but Nate believed it was worth it. “Besides, the veil is opaque enough. I promise; no one will recognize you. And you don’t actually have to talk to anyone. Just stand on the side; should anyone address you, flip them off in Chinese. And I’ll be by your side as much as possible; if necessary, we’ll say you’re my pen pal, coming from Beijing to visit.”
“And instead of a date, you took me to a funeral?” Mari laughed.
“A funeral of my former classmate’s father,” Kurtzberg corrected her. “I couldn’t very well abandon him in his grief and go on a date! Nor leave a guest alone.”
“Marinette, you should agree,” although Tikki couldn’t read Nathaniel’s thoughts, she could guess about his plan to return the girl home, and so decided to play along. “Nothing bad will happen should you come.”
“I’m coming too,” Nooroo stated. “He was the most terrible owner ever; I want to see his end.”
“Very well, I’m coming,” the former heroine sighed. After all, she still had nightmares of the day she almost died. Maybe, once Marinette sees the corpse of the one to blame for all her troubles with her own eyes, she’ll be able to sleep peacefully once again?
