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“Papa?” The tiny voice startled Quentin so suddenly, he almost upturned the bowl of chalk at his side. Swearing under his breath, he turned to see his son standing sleepy-eyed and barefoot beside him – toes grazing the edge of the mosaic. The frayed edges of his trousers were barely brushing his ankles – they’d have to either buy or make him new ones. Again.
“Hey buddy,’ Quentin said gently. “I thought you were napping with Eliot.”
“I was,” the boy said, turning to glance at the bed not far away. Q could see a few of Eliot’s unruly curls sticking out from under the blanket. Warmth spread across his chest and he couldn’t help the smile that followed. “But I’m not sleepy anymore, Papa. And Eliot’s been sleeping a long time.”
“Yeah, well,” Q said as he pulled his son into his lap and placed a kiss at the top of his head. Teddy was getting too big for this too. HIs heart clenched at the thought as he inhaled slowly and turned his attention back to the mosaic. “This one took a lot out of him, he deserves the rest.”
He stared at the crude yet graceful outline of Margo – She’d kill me if she ever saw this – and upon finishing it Eliot had immediately insisted on sleeping even as tears had welled in his eyes. Teddy had climbed into bed with him – Can I nap with you Eliot?- and Q had slowly been recording it in their makeshift notebook – his own tears splattering the page.
“Did you love Mama?” The question took him off balance and he hugged his son a little tighter to right himself. The thought of Arielle tugged at his heart, but more now like it did when he thought of Margo or Julia or Alice.
“Of course, I did,” he finally answered. “I loved her very much.”
Another pause – Q took in the setting sun and birdsong filling the air; autumn would be coming soon and they wouldn’t have many moments like this to enjoy.
“And you love Eliot?” Once again, his son knocked him off kilter. Quentin and Eliot had slowly begun to explore the thing that had brought them together on their first-year anniversary – the thing that had drawn them together more often before that, if he was being truthful to himself. There had just been too many factors, before, too many distractions and excuses. Now it was just them, and they were both terrified.
“I love him,” he finally admitted. “But you can love people very differently.” He swallowed thickly and turned his son to face him. “He could never replace your mother.”
“Well, duh.” Teddy rolled his eyes and God, if he didn’t look exactly like Eliot. Q laughed, the modern idiom he clearly picked up from Eliot as well. “But that’s because he’s Eliot – not Mama. I love him too. I like having him be my other papa.”
The admission somewhat stunned Quentin, his arms going lax as his son squirmed off his lap to run in the yard. He wished he could see the world as simply as his child – so clearly. But why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t they?
“He definitely gets that from you.” Eliot’s tired voice made Quentin jump. He looked behind him to see Eliot wrapped in the quilt they had once held each other on; his hair sticking up even more now and his eyes soft.
“Gets what?” Quentin asked as he tried to turn his attention back to the chalk and paper on the ground.
“Seeing things others can’t, or won’t.” Eliot sat down next to him, the heat radiating off his body and seeping into Quentin’s. He didn’t realize it had gotten cool.
“Yeah, well, he’s picked up a few things from you as well,” Quentin flippantly responded as he picked up a piece of chalk. He made the mistake of meeting Eliot’s eyes and stilled his movements.
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“Besides a few pieces of more modern vocabulary?” He had tried to continue teasing, but had turned slightly breathless. Their faces were inches away from each other now. “You both make me happier than I’ve been in a very long time.”
Eliot said nothing, just a shaky inhale before their lips met. And in that moment – Eliot’s arms around him as the Fillorian sun set, their son running towards them with fireflies in his hands – Quentin was sure the key would reveal itself. Life had never seemed more beautiful.