Chapter Text
Jack stood, hands on hips, and stared at the floor, gritting his teeth. Not today. He counted, very slowly, to ten, which didn’t help.
For what had to be the hundredth time he pondered his decision to accept this crazy gig, because he should have fought harder for the job he already had, the job he was good at, instead of letting himself be railroaded into this nuthouse of a town where all he did was risk his life over and over again while the perpetrators of possible life-ending disaster got to go on and do it all over again a week later.
“Carter.” Allison’s voice was all soft and sweet, and just this once he had no intention of listening to whatever platitudes she planned on trotting out. He raised one finger, and turned to go, ignoring her confused face, and Nathan Stark’s smug smile, which didn’t look smug, but confused and maybe even a little concerned..
“Carter.” Allison tried again, but Jack kept right on walking.
He heard her footsteps behind him, and the touch of her hand on his arm. He paused. Turned to face her, “I used to have a job where I made a difference. I was good at it, and it actually mattered.” She opened her mouth to say something, and he cut her off. “Now, I have this. So just for today can we cut the polite shit and I can go back to directing traffic.”
At that point Nathan might have said something too, but Jack couldn't be bothered. He ignored Allison’s shocked surprise (really, how big of a shock could it be?) and kept right on walking. For a few seconds there, his own denial about his real relationship with Allison was lifted, and he saw their dynamic in a whole different and rather unflattering light.
His developing relationship with Nathan Stark, he preferred not to think about at the moment.
Allison Blake prided herself on a few things, being able to handle Jack Carter being one of them, so she was entirely unprepared for the hard look on Jack’s face, the coldness of his words or the way he walked away and left her standing, entirely wrong-footed without a comeback.
She didn’t like the feeling.
She had been happy with Cobb’s choice, Carter wasn’t Army, and she thought that would give her a better chance to assert control over the Sheriff. Jack’s obvious interest in her, and the general kindness of his nature, gave her a little thrill and she was happy with the dynamic that played out between them.
Having Nathan and Jack competing for her attention was a real ego boost. Allison was happy, she had the attention of two handsome men and she really had very little intention of doing more than encouraging the attention. It was flattering.
Jack’s sudden change in attitude threw her for a loop. She turned back to Nathan, seeking reassurance, but he was staring after Jack with a puzzled frown on his face. For a second something flickered in his expression, and her words died on her lips.
Martins, the scientist behind the latest disaster to befall the town, made good his escape while no one was looking. He had work to do.
Jack told Jo he was driving out to Lake Archimedes for a while. He had some thinking to do. Eureka had given him a chance to really bond with his daughter, and the work was easy, despite life ending drama at least once a week, but was it satisfying, did he make a difference? How could he make a difference when science trumped the law, and pretty much everything in this town was about science.
He got Allison’s job, he even got Nathan’s… he just didn’t see where he really fit in. Being the rubber stamp for the letter of the law really didn’t appeal.
The news that his old partner had been killed on the job was the frosting on the stupid fucking cookie. He didn’t see what actual use he was in a job where he couldn’t even do his job without science interfering.
Jack sat at the lake and contemplated the beauty before him, and wondered where it all fit.
“Sheriff.”
He didn’t jump. Though, to be honest, despite their unfolding relationship, Jack still not entirely know where he stood with Nathan Stark, and he would have expected Allison to be the one to seek him out.
“Scientist.”
Nathan sat on the other end of the bench. “You know Martins did do more damage to himself than anyone else.” He paused
“And his project….”
“... Has merit.” The rueful shake of Jack’s head told Nathan that Jack knew and didn’t agree. He felt compelled to elaborate, fight for his science. But Jack turned his head and fixed Nathan with such a sad look in his eyes that whatever he was going to say just faltered and died.
“One day, Nathan, something is going to happen, and it will be so far out of our control that…”
Jack looked down at the ground. “I lost a colleague today. My old partner,” he had no idea why he was telling Nathan this, but he needed to make the man understand.
The reasons for this sudden need for understanding, Jack buried deep in his heart.
“He was a husband, a father, and a son, and now he’s dead.”
Nathan made a soft sound in the back of his throat, but Jack plowed on. “I knew what it was when I took the job, and the job has given me back my daughter and don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for that, and I even understand the need for risk in science.”
He looked at Nathan again, and he seemed so old and so tired, “one day something is going to come along, Nathan, it might not even be a science thing…”
Science thing, Nathan’s brain came up with a chipper remark, but the sad eyes killed it stone dead on his lips.
“.... all I know is that there are worse things out there, and we’ve barely probed the surface,” Jack laid a gentle hand on Nathan’s wrist. “And I might not be able to save someone.”
The moment of truth between them shivered, fresh and new.
Nathan felt a heaviness in his heart, because in that moment he knew that Jack would literally die trying. Like his dead colleague. Because that was what Sheriff Jack Carter did. Put his life on the firing line.
Right then, he understood the feeling that had been creeping up on him for months.
Such a loss would be unacceptable.