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To say his life felt complete would be an understatement.
As Yujin tiredly climbs into his lap, the little boy choosing to rest his head on his dad’s shoulder, Jaebeom opts into swaying them along with the slow and bass filled rhythm of the instrumental he worked on earlier that morning. His heart growing at the feeling of his sons soft breath fanning against his neck as he fell asleep.
Four years ago, when both himself and Jackson had made the biggest life changing decision to bare a child together through surrogacy, the bundle of joy they had been blessed with who was currently asleep in his lap had been worth all the hardships he had gone through with Jackson to create the little family they were today.
His own little family.
Jaebeom reflects back to the years of preparation and decisions not only Jackson and himself had gone through to make sure everything and anything that a new child needed was ready, but also recalls the unwavering support and love Yujin’s five favourite uncles and their families had provided them in times where just the two of them wasn’t enough.
Alongside remembering all that, he of all people knew that not everything was smooth running as it was now.
Three years ago
The final touches to the nursery they planned out over the last few months was coming together. As they piece together furniture and Jaebeom happily strings along the cat shaped fairy lights he had found whilst browsing amazon the other week to place near the crib, he would be lying if he didn’t admit that the arrival of their unborn son didn’t make him both excited and fearful all at once.
He wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
“Jaebeom, I’m scared.” Jackson all but whispers out.
Jaebeom at the moment knew that emotion all too well. It seemed like the closer the due date approached them, the more anxious and restless they became and it was like nothing could stop it.
“I know I said I was ready and we can’t go back now, and I don’t want to go back, but what if I make a mistake? What if I stuff this up?” Jackson audibly becoming emotional as he freezes from where he was folding the baby’s clothing.
The sob that Jackson chokes out after releasing the doubts that Jaebeom knew was clouding his mind hits him square in the chest.
“Jaebeom, I don’t want to ever fail our son, but what if I do? What if I can’t do this?”
If Jaebeom knew anything, it was that Jackson would be the best father any child would be blessed to have. The love and care he held for his family and friends was obvious to anyone, Jaebeom still marveled at the fact that he was his to love and grow old with.
Jaebeom quickly strides over to where Jackson had slumped up against the crib, tugging his hands away from his head and gently cupping the sun kissed face he knew all too well.
“Seun-ah I know you’re scared you’re going to make mistakes with our son, but with the big change of parenthood it's something that's bound to happen and you can’t beat yourself up over it. Trust me when I say that having a great father figure like you in his life, the little boy is already so lucky.” Jaebeom softly says, carefully wiping at the tears that roll down Jackson’s face.
“And don’t think you’ll be alone in all of this. I’ll be here, our parents will be around, Nora, Mark, Jinyoung, Youngjae and even the headaches that we both love regardless named Yugyeom and Bammie will be.” Hearing that, Jackson’s face slowly but surely splits into a smile.
“Thank you for that.” Jackson quietly sniffles out as Jaebeom leans in to wrap his love up in a hug.
As the instrumental continues to play through the sound system Jaebeom slowly spins them both around in his studio chair, taking in the room that Jackson never fails to call his second home with the amount of time he’s spent producing in it over the years.
“You know Jaebeom, If I wasn’t so smart, I’d think you had married that room instead.” An amused Jackson would say, feeling satisfied when Jaebeom mumbled back that he was crazy if he thought Jaebeom ever would.
He smiles at that though, knowing Jackson wasn’t entirely wrong. If anything, it became both his and Yujin’s second home as his growing three year old son loved to mess around with the studio keyboard whenever he was producing, throwing a fit whenever Jackson tried to get him from Jaebeom to feed him hence the cupboard to the side that stay filled with snacks for when he did grow hungry.
As he peeks a glance at the clock on the wall behind him, he can’t help but look around and notice the subtle changes his personal studio had gone through once Yujin had come into their lives.
From the plush toys that now lay strewn across the couch all tucked in under the bright strawberry blanket which Yujin had done because “Appa, they coldy here.”
To the small shelf that held mostly Hangul and mandarin nursery rhymes as something him and Jackson had both been adamant on was Yujin growing up and learning both languages alongside English.
Then came the photographs.
His wall that had showcased the endless photos Jaebeom had on a personal camera of random objects, scenery and images of the members across the numerous countries they had toured. A habit of his to gather inspiration and concepts from while producing, was now splashed out in photographs of his life in the moment.
From photographs of the small gathering he held with the boys to surprise Jackson for his hand in marriage being clumsily placed on top of the picture with Nora being harassed by Jackson’s affections. To the image of a protective Yugyeom covering Yujin in kisses on his first birthday, an annoyed Jinyoung slightly to the left of the frame trying to get a hold of his son for the hundredth time that day.
Each picture reflected and displayed blissful moments of his life collectively weaving together to show him how lucky he truly was.
But most importantly it held the one image Jackson had pinned up himself, seemingly at the center of them all which never fails to grasp and take hold of his heart strings at its sight. It was an image of newborn Yujin in his arms for the first time, clearly showing Jaebeom’s toothy smile at his son and a visibly tear filled Jackson whose hands are wrapped tightly around him and gazing lovingly at them both.
He had never been more thankful towards Bambam for having his camera on him at the time and choosing to snap a moment in his life that he'll carry with him forever.
Jaebeom hears the rhythm of the demo slowly approach its ending just in time for a pair of arms to wrap around his shoulders with Jackson carefully placing a peck on their son's forehead as well as Jaebeom's, pulling himself a chair beside them as he reaches over to replay the demo yet again.
As he listens to Jackson begin to excitedly describe the large snorlax plush toy he found at a plaza and why he found it absolutely necessary to bring home six, Jaebeom chuckles at what he could only imagine was Jackson proudly wheeling a trolley bursting with snorlax’s to bring home.
“You’re laughing at me now, but I won't be surprised when I see that you’ve rounded up about four to sleep with tonight.” Jackson says as he rolls his eyes at Jaebeom’s responding laughs.
And if Jackson was right that night, only Nora and his two boys would know about it anyways.