Chapter Text
You were the only child of a very powerful warlord in the Kingdom of Gallia, now under the Authority of Rome. It didn’t bother you, your family still had a certain rank within the roman society, and they brought so many things like the beautiful architecture, better trade and stability. Everyone was united under Rome, no more battle for a herd of cows or any other small offenses; of course some were opposed to Rome in your clan but not you. You smiled to yourself, to make it clear your life was perfect, you were safe and happy with your parents, you didn’t need anything else. But the peace didn’t last, those who disapproved of Rome created rebellions, bringing roman legions to your doors, until that day…
“Father? You wanted to see me?” you asked him curious as to why he wanted to see you so late in the night. You frowned as you saw him pacing in the room, pacing a trembling hand through his hair, you mother was there too, what was she doing here? As he saw you, your father approached you, taking your hand in his, your mother came standing next to him, putting her hand on your forearm, no this wasn’t a good sign.
“My darling daughter…you are my greatest pride and I would do anything in my power to protect you…” you grew worried, this wasn’t like him to start a sentence like this, what happened?
“The rebellions are making the Emperor upset, he doesn’t want it to grow into a war with our kingdom…I received an envoy from Rome…we have to strengthen our friendship with the Empire.” He paused letting you process what he had just implied, you looked at him in the eyes, then at your mother, no it couldn’t be…
“You gave me to him!?” you exclaimed, fear gaining your whole body, he wasn’t a bad emperor, he had a good reputation, but he was old, and you didn’t know him, you didn’t love him or anything of the sort.
“Not to him my daughter, to his son Lucius Aurelius Commodus.” Your mother added, a compassionate expression on her face. You looked around feeling betrayed by your own family, the son was probably a worse decision.
“Please father no…”
“We have to, we have to maintain peace and good relationship with Rome.”
“I thought you cared about me…Commodus isn’t wise, you know it! Father, please I’m begging you don’t do this, he will kill me the second I displease him!” you whimpered tears running down your face, but your father didn’t let go, keeping his face emotionless.
“Then make sure to please him in everyway possible. The matter has already been taken care of. You will be leaving at the end of next week, the Emperor is in a battle a bit farther in the north, when it’s done, Commodus and Lucilla his sister will join him, and you’ll be sent there. It is a great honor for our family.” He spoke trying to prevent his voice from trembling with sadness, but you didn’t care about how he felt, he had sold you without asking you first, and now you had no choice but obey, the future of the kingdom and lives within it were in your hands now.
You clenched your jaw and fled to your bedroom, locking it so nobody would follow you there. You collapsed on your bed, burying your face in your pillow, muffling the sound of your cries.
The following week you barely got out of your quarters, barely eating or even sleeping, simply waiting for this day to come and get this over with. Suddenly you heard a knock on your door, and someone entering, your turned to see who had entered without your permission. It was your mother, she looked tired, slowly she approached you and sat on the bed, resting her hand on your leg, you didn’t say anything, there was nothing to say.
“The emperor is dead.” She announced, shock was a poor word to describe your surprise, you finally met her eyes.
“So…what is going to happen to me?” you asked, faintly hoping that the marriage would be forgotten.
“Commodus is now Emperor, he will need his wife to support him in his new responsibility…you will be meeting him tomorrow and he will bring you back to Rome with him for a proper ceremony.” She explained to you softly. So you were going to be the wife of an Emperor now, it was indeed a great privilege, you hoped you’d be up to the task, if he doesn’t kill you first…
You didn’t sleep this night, thinking about meeting him, what does he look like? is he as ruthless as people say? Or worse? Was he going to like you? As the sun started to appear, supervised by your mother, slaves came to help you dress up for the meeting. Your hair were slightly tied up with a tiara, two long strands of hair loose on the sides of your face. You were wearing a white silk stola, perfectly outlining the curves of your body. Your mother smiled, her eyes wet, she cupped your face.
“You are so beautiful my daughter, you are so brave…” tears prickled in your eyes at her words, you hugged her tight.
“You’ll see, I heard Rome is a wonderful place, and I’m sure that the Emperor will treat you well when he’ll see your beauty and kind heart.” She added fondly, kissing your forehead one last time.
You went alone in the carriage, your father on a horse, leading the cortege. A few hours later the horses slowed down, you could hear a lot of noises outside, men talking, horses braying, tools and swords slamming. You were nervous, scared even; you were going to meet him very soon. A legionnaire came to open to you, you got out to see a group of people coming in your direction, you looked at your father for comfort, he gave you an encouraging smile, you took a deep breath and focused your eyes on the people coming to you, there was woman, very well dressed, she was gorgeous, you felt a bit of relief to see a woman, you felt small among all these men and maybe she’ll understand how you feel. Your eyes drifted to the man next her, he had jet black hair, and green eyes so clear and intense, you felt intimidated by his presence and even more when you looked at his clothes and realized he was Commodus, the new Emperor.
You quickly bowed your head in respect, not meeting his eyes. You saw him stop at arm’s length from you. Still it felt like his closeness was burning you.
“Lucius Aurelius Commodus, Emperor of the Roman Empire, I am honored by your presence.” You spoke your voice lower than you wanted to.
“Y/N daughter of Quincus warlord and hero of Gallia kingdom. I am pleased to meet you.” He spoke in a calm yet authoritative tone as he extended his hand for you to kiss his ring; you softly took his hand, the contact with his skin sending shivers down your spine, your lips coming into contact with the cold metal of his ring.
“You can look at me Y/N” he added his voice amused, you were so nervous that you hadn’t met his eyes and when you did you felt your heart stop, he had so much charisma simply by the way he was standing and looking at you, he didn’t smile though, you hoped it wasn’t because of you.
“Now brother, I think my future sister-in-law needs to rest before our departure tomorrow.” The woman voice said kindly, feeling your distress.
“This my dear sister Lucilla.” Commodus explained, looking at her lovingly, his face relaxing at her view. She smiled at you sweetly and took you by the arm to bring you to your tent.
“Do not worry, my brother can be intimidating but he is a loving man you’ll see.”
“Oh good, he doesn’t look really happy to marry me…” you muttered, uncomfortable at the whole situation.
“It was a surprise for him as well, my dear father told him a few days ago, he wasn’t expecting to have a bride chosen by father…but I’m sure he will come to appreciate you, you seem like a lovely woman to me.” She added nicely, squeezing your hand in reassurance. A small smile formed on your lips, you were glad she was here, you were sure she would become a friend of yours soon and her words on Commodus were reassuring.
That night you had dinner with her, your future husband didn’t join, he had a lot to do as a result of his new status. This gave you time to get to know Lucilla better and you got along with her very well, she told you about her dead husband, her son Lucius; her presence made you almost forget about your family, it was nice to meet a woman like her. After a bit you went back to your tent, tomorrow you will be leaving early to Rome. You took a little walk around the camp, you were getting closer to your tent now, but you suddenly stopped when you recognized the voice of Commodus, he was talking with Lucilla, about you.
“I can’t marry her Lucilla!” he argued.
“Brother, it is the will of our father and the senate, you need someone to take care of you…”
“But why can’t it be you then?” he complained, his voice almost childish.
“Because I am your sister and I can’t take care of you the way a wife would. Besides she will be good to you, I know it…”
“How? She doesn’t know me and is probably not interest to.” He grumbled
“Don’t be so sure brother, her cheeks blushes at the sound of your name and at your sight…She is one of the most kind-hearted women I have met, she’s selfless and that what’s Rome expects from the wife of the Emperor.” You heard Commodus sight in defeat, you pinched your lips together hurt by his words.
“We’ll see about that my dear sister…” he replied, his voice tired. You had heard enough, you felt like a disappointment, you were so worthless that you didn’t manage to capture his interest. You quietly entered your tent, upset that he didn’t see you the way his sister does. You had naively started to hope he would maybe fall in love with you at first sight, he was a beautiful man and when he interacted with his sister, he just looked so caring… maybe it will change… you suddenly felt tired and the moment you landed on your mattress you fell asleep, emotionally exhausted.
The morning after, you left when the sun started to appear, you climbed in the same carriage as Lucilla and Commodus. The space feeling even smaller as he sat next to you, of course he was going out on his horse from time to time, but when he was there you didn’t know what to do or say, and he wasn’t trying either. You didn’t know if he didn’t want to talk to you or if he was being shy, but it took him a few days to talk to you informally.
Lucilla had fallen asleep, you were reading poetry under the candlelight. As for Commodus he was drinking wine, he looked deep in his thoughts. You had gotten used to his presence, his silence, it was almost comforting now.
“What are you reading?” he asked softly, you blinked a few times not sure you had heard him talk, you turned your head to look at him, and he was looking at you expectantly, your heart fluttered, happy to be noticed by your future husband.
“Quintus Ennius, the Annals.” You answered shyly, he raised an eyebrow.
“Poems of adventures, heroes and battles…I was expecting someone of your rank to read love poems…” you lowered your eyes, you had disappointed him.
“It’s interesting…did you advise your father in his decisions?” he asked, your head shot up, he was actually interested in hearing more, he had been surprised not disappointed.
“Yes, my mother is doing it too, but my father used to say I had a lot more perspicacity in politics and…I think it’s thrilling, trying to find who is to be your enemy, what will be their next move? Who is to be your ally? How to get people to join your side by other means than violence…” you explained a bit too excited, so you stopped talking waiting to see how he would respond to this. He was still looking at you, he released a smile, one of those he only had for his sister.
“It is good, I’ve always been a man of action unlike my father…he was studying so much that he often forgot the people. But I won’t, they will see change, and the Roman Empire will be more glorious than ever before.” He declared, his eyes full of passion, you could see he intended on keeping his word, it was truly fascinating, and you were curious of what you will bring to his reign.
You weren’t sure if you had the right to express your views to him, but you felt like he was open to such discussion.
“The empire needs stability more than ever, it will bring peace and economic prosperity, it has been too changing…the senate is unstable, taking one decision and then cancelling it with the changes of senators…” His eyes met yours, surprised, he shifted closer to you.
“Exactly! I want to restore full power to the Emperor, no need for debate or waiting, the people will get what they need, I will bring it to them on a silver plate!” he whispered to you, as if no one should hear it but you, you could tell he was excited to be back in Rome, he wanted to be the best Emperor that has ever walk in this mortal world.
That night, the two of you talked for a long time, you were happy that he had the same political vision as you. With time you grew closer to him, of course not as a lover yet but as a friend, after all it will take 4 weeks to reach Rome, so it left time to talk. Lucilla could feel the change in his attitude towards you, and she was glad, maybe you were what his brother had always needed.
He would offer you wine, spontaneously smile at your sight, he was simply more open to your presence, maybe he started to think of offering his friendship to you. You spent countless nights talking with him, whispering not to awake Lucilla, and you had to admit you were starting to fall for him.
“I feel like I could trust you Y/N…I hope I can.” He had confessed to you one night, you had ignored the silent threat in the last part because he could trust you.
“You can Commodus, I am to be your wife and you my husband, but you are also my Emperor and I would never betray my Emperor…and my friend if one day you honor me with such title.” You answered truthfully, resisting the urge to take his hand to reinforce your words. These words seemed to strike him, he didn’t reply, probably still vigilant, and you didn’t hold it against him, already glad about the progress your relationship had made the past weeks.
You fell asleep not long after this talk, unfortunately you were not conscious to witness him slowly getting up and gently putting a cover on your body so you wouldn’t get cold. He watched you sleep for a few minutes, confused by how he was growing attached to you, it had only been Lucilla before…but not anymore. He lifted his hand and softly brushed the back of his index against your cheek.
Getting full control of the Empire will be hard and probably deadly, you were not his priority at the moment, but it would be nice to have someone he could trust, love and be loved in return. You will have to prove it to him, prove you’re worthy of him and if not, the blade will fall upon you.