Chapter Text
Zoro hated the Alabaster royal gardens. He absolutely hated them.
“Stop making that face, you’ll scare the birds.”
Zoro turned his scowl to Nami, who was leisurely sipping a colorful drink. She looked, as she usually looked when people were waiting hand and foot on her, completely at ease.
“You have five statues. Of yourself .”
Nami lowered her sunglasses to give Zoro an unimpressed look.
“You got a problem with that?”
Zoro scowled harder.
“ Why do you have five statues of yourself?”
Nami took an exaggerated and noisy sip of her drink through the straw. Zoro felt a vein tick.
“Well how else am I gonna figure out what material I look best as? Don't get me wrong, I look fantastic as gold and bronze, but there's something to be said about marble- it's just classic, y’know?”
Zoro stared at her. Nami stared back.
“It’s not even your castle .”
Nami sighed, putting her empty glass down on the table. A waiter seemed to materialize to take it, and then another came just as unnervingly fast to place a fresh one in Nami’s waiting hand.
“First, it's a palace, not a castle. Grammar, Zoro. Second, Alabaster is a democratically elected government now and the placement of privately owned art is under public officiates.”
Zoro stared. Nami sighed.
“It means I do whatever I want, stupid.”
“When have you not done whatever the hell you wan- ow .”
Nami retracted her pointy heeled shoe from Zoro’s leg.
“Why did I agree to let you visit again?”
Zoro leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms. He glanced over at the ornate doors leading into the castl- the palace. Somewhere in the unnecessarily gilded rooms a blue-haired princess was showing a most likely ecstatic idiot cook the royal kitchens.
“Because you knew if we’d come the cook would make all your favorites.”
Nami raised her glass to that, smiling.
“Got me there. Nothing against the chefs here but damn have I missed Sanji’s cooking. You’ve got it made, eating his food everyday.”
“Says the person with five statues of herself and however many butlers.”
“Yeah, yeah, so why are you here exactly?”
Zoro paused at that. He wasn't sure if this was a conversation he should wait for Sanji to be a part of or not. He wasn't as good at explaining things, but Nami was lowering her sunglasses to give him an expectant look.
“Well, so, we’ve been kinda engaged for a while-
Nami snorted at that.
“‘ Kinda ’ engaged?”
Zoro glared at her.
“Shut up. We’ve been engaged, to be married , for a while-
“Yeah, try forever-
“Will you let me fucking finish? We need help planning the damn wedding!”
Zoro crossed his arms tighter and sat back, watching Nami take another long, theatrical sip of her drink. Her lips were curved in a badly suppressed smirk.
“Funny, somehow I feel like Sanji-kun would be excellent at planning a wedding. Tell me, Zoro, why have you come to me with this oh-so-interesting predicament?”
Zoro tried to sink lower in his chair, but his bulk stubbornly refused to let him. The truth of the matter was that Nami, annoyingly, was right. Sanji was fantastic at planning events of every kind, from casual parties to formal dances to, yes, weddings. The problem, Zoro had come to realize, was that Sanji had never planned anything for himself . Simple decisions had become impossible. Guest lists had gone through at least 15 drafts. Cake designs were on their 40th. Table cloth color had become a topic so stressful that Zoro had been forced to toss the fabric catalog overboard. Sanji was a runaway train without breaks, working himself to the bone with running his restaurant and throwing himself into the hellishly fine details of wedding planning at the same time. Zoro had to carry the cook over his shoulder and then practically hold him down just to get him to sleep for fucks sake.
The reasons he had wanted to ask Nami for help above anyone else came down to two main factors. The first being that, because she was a woman, and Nami , the cook would do what she said. The second being that Nami and Vivi had never had a proper wedding to seal the deal. The restrictions of royal laws and the voices of stuffed up important politicians simply wouldn't allow their princess to marry a well known thieving pirate of low birth. The fact that Nami was a woman probably didn't really help , and so the redhead had gone ahead and done what she usually did; she stole Vivi right from under the countries nose, and they eloped. They’d returned, legally bound in holy matrimony and had never been happier.
“You managed to skip out on all the wedding crap. If you asked the cook-”
Nami held up a hand, silencing Zoro.
“I’m gonna stop you right there. Now, I’m guessing Sanji-kun went into full planning mode and is freaking out over every detail. The thing is, we kinda gotta let him get that out of his system. He needs to go over every detail and eventually settle on what he wants.”
Zoro raised his hands in defeat.
“But why ?”
“Zoro, use your brain for more than five seconds here. What memories might come up for Sanji-kun as he thinks about his own wedding ?”
Zoro opened his mouth impatiently, ready to argue. Then it clicked.
“Oh.”
Sanji...had already been to his own wedding. A pre-planned wedding where every detail was completely out of the cook’s bound hands. A wedding where Sanji had been nothing short of a prisoner, and had no say in anything .
“...Oh.”
Nami nodded, seeing that he had grasped the situation. She clasped her hands together now, looking determined.
“Right, so from now until the actual event of the thing, you’re gonna shut up and be a big lovable meat-head of a fiance and let Sanji-kun go nuts. He’ll ask you to taste something or try something on or pick a flower color and you’re gonna do it even though he’s already taken every detail into account. Got it?”
Zoro opened his mouth to argue, but then thought better of it. She was right , of course. And at the end of the day, the cook knew that Zoro didn't really care about any of the details. He’d asked Sanji to marry him because he wanted them to be married- it was that simple. The actual marriage ceremony thing was something Zoro could hardly care less about. All he really cared about was that Sanji got to be Sanji Roronoa (they’d already been practicing that one in the bedroom) and that, above all else, his cook was happy. A public ceremony had the perk of broadcasting them as a couple, as if to shout look at us, he’s mine and I’m his so hands off and fuck off. Zoro smirked, remembering the look on Gin’s face when Sanji had told him the news.
“Yeah, I got it. I mean, that’s what I’m doing now anyways. I just don't wanna see him burn out over the way a name card is written or something.”
Nami patted his arm, smiling brightly.
“I wouldn't worry too much. It’s not like it can ever be worse than that wedding, and he actually wants to marry you, so.”
Zoro felt his face goes up in flames, and he swiped at Nami’s drink for a sip. She held it out of his reach, but they were both smiling.