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A week passes after Andi’s party. Kira seems to have dropped off the face of the planet, miraculously, and Cyrus and TJ are solidly friends again. Something beyond friends, too, it would seem.
They held hands at the party, yes, and shared a look of understanding that they liked each other not-so-platonically. But… They don’t really talk about what exactly it means for them. They just… settle into a rhythm.
It’s not too different from how they were before. Before Kira, before the costume day debacle, before the uncomfortable, confusing distance of things-not-said.
The party changed something, alright: all those sour memories seemed to fade away, and the two boys were back on the same page again.
It’s like nothing had ever changed between them, really, except now they knew they were on the same page, same chapter, same book.
(A pretty gay book.)
At least, Cyrus thinks he knows this. He’s still not entirely sure.
It’s not until he stumbles across TJ, a piano, and a melody.
He’s walking through the halls after school when he hears it. A beautiful, tender sound beyond the muffled barrier of the choir room walls. The song, whatever it is, strikes him deep in his heart, like a surgical blade cutting into the most sensitive part of him. It releases something deep inside him, warmth and yearning and indescribable feelings flooding his body and soul.
There’s such emotion poured into the piano, and it only grows clearer as Cyrus gets closer. It’s beyond words; it’s the kind of emotion that can only be expressed through music. And Cyrus is profoundly swept up in it.
Even more so when he turns the corner, approaches the door, and sees it is TJ who is playing.
TJ doesn’t notice Cyrus in the doorway; he’s absorbed in the music, his body moving back and forth in rhythm as his fingers seem to effortlessly dance across the keys.
Not wanting to disrupt, but unable to stay away, Cyrus gently paces forward until he’s within TJ’s peripheral view.
“Cyrus!” TJ exclaims softly, surprised. His fingers pull away from the piano but his foot is still on the pedal, leaving a resonant echo of his song.
Cyrus approaches him with a smile.
“TJ, did you compose that yourself?”
“Yeah, uh, I did. You… like it?”
Like it doesn’t even begin to describe half of it. Fresh memory of the song is still pulling on Cyrus’ heartstrings, flooding his body with adoration, so he swiftly answers TJ with a kiss.
Firm and sure, Cyrus pulls TJ in and kisses him. It’s the first time he’s taken this type of initiation with intimacy -- it’s lightyears away from his awkward attempts with Iris -- and he’s probably never been more certain of anything in his life.
And after a moment of shock, TJ kisses back. Time melts like honey into warm milk, and the kiss is just as sweet.
“Mmf, wait,” TJ pulls away to ask, “is that a yes-I-love-it kiss? Or a I’m-going-to-distract-you-so-I-don’t-have-to-admit-I-don’t-like-it kiss?”
Cyrus would laugh were he not too overcome with other emotions at the moment. “Yes, I love it. Of course, I love it, I….” He smiles, voice tender. “I almost feel like I could cry, I loved it so much.”
TJ’s eyes sparkle as he listens.
“Is that... normal?” Cyrus continues. “I’ve… I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song that could make me feel so much.”
TJ’s face softens, his eyes flickering down. “Well, I’d never met a person who could make me feel so much...” He gingerly reaches for Cyrus’ hands with his own. “Until you.”
Green eyes lock onto brown eyes, in the same way they did a week ago.
Understanding, without needing to spell it out, that This is special. You are special… especially to me.
And for a moment, they stand there, gazing at each other in comfortable silence. It’s like the world slows around them until time completely stops, everything perfectly still except for their hearts hammering in their chests.
Sensing the lack of movement in the room, the fluorescent lights above them turn off automatically. This startles Cyrus and TJ for a second, causing them to giggle.
Not sure how to continue the conversation, Cyrus rubs his thumbs over TJ’s, their hands still clasped together.
TJ smiles. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Cyrus smiles back. “...What are you thinking right now?”
TJ lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m thinking, I really don’t know how to say everything I’m thinking... Y’know, that’s why I play music, write songs.” He bites his lip nervously for a moment before continuing. “That’s why I wrote that song I was just playing. It’s… it’s how I feel about you.”
“...Wow.”
“Yeah.” TJ pulls his hands back to himself so he can bury his face in his palms. “Oh my god, that’s so cliche, isn’t it,” he bemoans, “now that I say it out loud. I’m so embarrassed.”
“No, it’s sweet!” Cyrus pulls TJ’s hands away to reveal his flushed face. “You wrote a song about me,” Cyrus marvels with enthusiasm. Now Cyrus blushes, too. “And it’s quite possibly the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. It’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”
TJ chuckles bashfully in response and locks eyes with him again. “Is this really happening?”
“What?”
“I just. I feel like I’m living in a movie, some fairytale romance, something,” he gesticulates as if trying to reach out and find the words to convey what he’s feeling.
“I know what you mean,” Cyrus responds. “It also felt like that last week, when we were on the bench at the party… it feels like I’m in a dream.”
“Yeah.” TJ inches closer. And, with near-impossibly soft voice, he says, “This is the kinda thing I’ve dreamt about for months.”
“Really? … Months?”
TJ’s face grows impossibly red and he nods.
“Interesting. Speak more on that,” Cyrus nudges with a coy smile.
“Cyrus, you’re killing me here,” TJ teases and throws his head back. “You know I’m not good talking about this stuff! Talking about… feelings...”
“Hey, but you’ve gotten so much better at it since I met you! And what did you say to me once?” Cyrus smirks, “Hmm, something about how great it is that we help each other go out of our comfort zones?”
“Okay, fine,” TJ sighs. “Um. Well, I like you. A lot. And… I think I always have, from the first time we met.”
“You mean when you heroically helped me get a muffin?”
“Yes, that,” TJ continues, “There was something about you that just… instantly made me want to like, protect you? Defend you? Little did I know that you’d end up being the one to help me so much.”
“So while I was absolutely intimidated of you, you were smitten at first sight, eh?”
“Shut up,” TJ buries his face in his hands, chuckling in embarrassment. “But yeah, kinda.”
“Is that why you really came over to me on the swings? All the way back then, before we knew each other?”
“Well, maybe a bit. I was drawn to you. I’ve always liked you, as a person, yknow? And I guess part of me always knew, on instinct, that I could talk to you in a way that I couldn’t with anyone else. That you would listen.”
“I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I might’ve just gone on thinking you were a scary basketball guy. But once we talked on the swings, I realized you were human, too. As silly as it seems.”
“No, that’s exactly it; I felt so human around you, like, a whole person. Not just a reflection of expectations of what I should be, and my failures to fit those expectations… And you were right, swinging helped, but not as much as just being around you.”
Cyrus smiles.
“And after that, I…. I kept thinking about you. And I tried not to think too much into why, at first. Why did I feel so deeply about you, so different from how I had felt about anyone before? I mean, I already had an inkling that I was attracted to boys. But I didn’t have the desire to be with anyone. I couldn’t even be open with my emotions around anyone…. until you. And I dreamt of you, literally. Dreams of you and I together…”
“I can’t believe that you liked me first. I kept thinking, hoping, maybe the feelings were mutual, but then...”
Then, Kira happened.
“I’m sorry, Cyrus,” TJ frowns. “I became so afraid. Not of what it all meant, not really… but of what people might think, what people might do to us. And of what you might’ve thought, if you didn’t feel the same way about me.”
Cyrus nods. “I understand.”
“Anyway,” TJ finally exhales, “I channeled that all into my piano, over the course of the year. And eventually, some of it became a song. And now… it’s yours.”
“The song, or your heart?” Cyrus grins.
TJ rolls his eyes and grins, pretending to be exasperated.
“I’ll happily have both,” Cyrus continues. Both boys burst into dopey grins, eyes twinkling.
“So….” TJ tenderly clasped their hands together again, “Does this mean we’re…?”
“Boyfriends?”
“If that’s a word you’re comfortable using—”
“Yes.” Cyrus nods. “Definitely.”
“Alright. Sound good, boyfriend.”
TJ laughs with a bit of disbelief and a lot of giddiness.
“I think I could get used to that.”