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Over the last few weeks, Lois had noticed that Clark had become even more annoyingly cheerful than usual. She had started suspecting that he had a new crush when she'd caught him chatting on the phone, blushing desperately. Granted the man was so timid that his mother could probably embarrass him, but the fact that he'd been giggling like a schoolgirl sort of precluded that sort of conclusion.
But when Lois had started doing a little bit of investigative snooping around, all she'd come across was contradictory information. Nothing that would help her figure out who this girl was that Clark had been seeing. So, after expending just about every last bit of energy she had in trying to unravel this mystery, Lois had finally decided that there was only one way to find out: "borrow" Clark's PDA and rummage through his appointments and contacts.
And that is how Clark had found her; tapping maddeningly away on the touch-screen display, attempting to force secrets out of the small handheld device. He had immediately known that she was up to no-good when, upon inquiring as to what she was doing, Lois had nearly jumped out of her chair. It had taken him only a quick glance at the object she'd been toying with to realize that it was his.
Snatching the PDA right out of her hands, Clark started giving her a lecture on private property, and the right to protect one's personal life - but Lois wasn't listening. She was too busy putting two and two together.
Her brow furrowed in scrutiny, Lois abruptly cut him off, "So, if I've read this thing right - and I'm pretty sure I have - that girl you're seeing isn't a girl, and he's... really?"
Clark's expression turned embarrassed and he smiled awkwardly. "You got a problem with that?"
"Me?" Lois chuckled lightly. "Of course not, Smallville. Besides, I kind of figured that you were...you know... that way. But come on... You should really be more careful who you go out with. Honest! I mean, this man... he goes through women -" she paused, grimaced, and went on "- and men, apparently, like someone with a cold goes through a box of Kleenex. He's just going to chew you up and spit you right out. And then you'll end up all broken up and pitiful and-- well, I'm sure you see what I mean."
"It's not like that, Lois," Clark protested.
"Oh, please, what makes you think he's any more interested in you than he was in anyone else he's had before you? You're the flavor of the week, Smallville, and he'll be shopping elsewhere next week. I'm telling you."
Clark's tone turned defensive. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
She looked at him, eyes wide in disbelief. "Oh my god," she whispered. "Oh my god! You're in love with him, aren't you? Clark! He'll just break your poor little heart into millions of pieces, I promise you. I know the type."
"Thank you for your concern, Lois, but my heart isn't in any danger of being broken."
"Have you been listening to anything I've said?" she asked, frowning.
"Look, Lois," Clark said, a little more forcefully than any truly mild-mannered reporter might have, "I appreciate your friendship and your advice - usually. But you don't know what you're talking about. At all. You don't know him half as well as you think you do. Believe me."
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me..." She frowned, her mind making connections at near super speed. "So, let me get this straight. Not only are you in love with him, but you actually believe that he - Bruce Wayne, skirt-chaser extraordinaire - is in love with you?"
"Excellent deduction, Miss Lane," came a man's voice behind her.
She turned to face a very smug-looking Bruce Wayne. Taken completely off guard, Lois opened her mouth, but then closed it again, unable to think of a smart comeback.
"I'm quite pleased to see that you're just as sharp as you've ever been. It's great to know that this staff is still the best in the business." Bruce's smile turned into a slight frown. "I do object to your use of adjectives, though."
Lois raised a challenging eyebrow. "Which one? Skirt-chaser? Or extraordinaire?"
Amused, Bruce replied, "Straight, Miss Lane. Straight." With that, he glanced at his watch then turned to Clark and said, "Sorry that meeting somehow turned never-ending... Have you had lunch yet, or are we still on?"
Clark smiled warmly. "Nope. I'm all yours."
Lois watched them walk off toward the elevator, all the while thinking that they looked kind of sweet together. Mentally, she crossed both men off her list of "available men she might stand a chance with if she ever found time to pursue them". She wasn't that sad about it, though. After all, she still had Superman.
=> End.