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Love is fake, but sex is real. Dabi knows this down to the core of his very soul. He knows it to the root of his bones. If love were real, his father wouldn’t have hurt his mother as often as he did, and she wouldn’t have gone insane. If love were real, his father wouldn’t have kicked him out as a child for not living up to his standards. If love were real, he wouldn’t have had to… he wouldn’t have gotten the nickname ‘The Cremator.’
But love isn’t real.
Sex is real, you can have sex and not worry about anything. He’s been having sex for ages, and he’s never had feelings get involved. Sex is… automatic at this point, he knows how it works and he knows how to make it good. Sex was a job, a motion, a means to pass the time. Sex is real. Love is fake.
So when he has sex with Hawks the first time, he… isn’t sure what happens. He doesn’t know why he asks to be called by a name he hasn’t used in years, why he breathes in the smell of Hawks and feels calm for the first time, why he… why he’s flooded with so many thoughts. Sex with Hawks is nothing like he knows it to be. It’s rough but it’s also tender. They share gentle touches and soft sighs, real kisses that the other man doesn’t recoil from. Hawks… Hawks has sex with him and he purrs.
Touya gets him through his heat, takes him back to a hotel when it spikes again, and for the next few days it’s just that back and forth of soft touches, gentle kisses, and… and a look in Hawks eyes that Touya’s never seen before. They talk about nothing, yet Dabi learns all kind of nonsense about the man. And he keeps seeing that look.
He shuts down looking at Hawks when he puts Dabi back on, closes all of that information and emotion up and goes back to his job.
And yet…
Sometimes, when it’s dark and he’s feeling his worst, he’ll think about the way Hawks touched him. The memory always causes him to shudder. He’s… never been touched with reverence like that. Been cradled and kissed and…
The thoughts fade with the sun and he goes back to work.
“I’m starving.” Hawks whines, leaning against the railing that’s set up on the roof. “Why can’t we just go down and get food, then come back up.” Dabi’s pretty sure that if he were any more petulant, he’d be stomping his foot. He’s noticed that Hawks gets a little bratty when he’s hungry.
“Twice wanted to throw you a surprise party,” Dabi says it again, for maybe the third time today, “you knew better than to tell him when your birthday was. I said I’d… keep you occupied while they set things up.” He doesn’t know why he’d agreed to Twice’s idea, but… well… here they are. On the roof.
Hawks likes places that are high up. Blows more wind through his feathers. Dabi remembers that.
“Yeah, but like… I could just… swoop on over,” Hawks turns and dashes his hand through the air in an imitation of flight, “and get a bucket of chicken or something,” he shrugs, “and then come back. I’ll even share! Come on Dabi, don’t you want food?”
He rolls his eyes. “There’s going to be food downstairs.” He states, watching the way Hawks pouts and crosses his arms.
“You’re so mean to me.” Hawks whines, and Dabi can’t help it.
He fucking laughs.
“Of all the chuckle fucks here, I’m mean to you the least.” He regrets his words the moment they slip out, but he won’t take them back. He looks over and Hawks has that… look in his eyes again. The one that he doesn’t recognize. They’ve been around one another for months, doing heat shares out of convenience, and he still has no idea what it means.
“You are, aren’t you?” Hawks whispers. “Can I come over there, I’m getting cold.” He isn’t, the idiot wears a fur lined coat.
“Sure.” Dabi holds out an arm and Hawks rushes forward, hands pressed to Dabi’s chest and head resting on his shoulder when Dabi settles his hand on Hawks waist. “Clingy.” He mutters.
“You like it.” Hawks teases. It’s then that Dabi hears and feels the low rumble of his purring. Smells that warm rice scent. He swallows around the lump suddenly thick in his throat.
“Hawks-” He’s cut off when Hawks huddles closer.
“Keigo, when we’re alone.” It’s almost a whisper, but it isn’t. “Keigo Takami. You can call me by my given name.” He gives it up freely, eyes closed as he rests against Dabi’s scarred, twisted skin. The tips of his fingers are gentle over the piercings keeping him together.
His chest feels… fucking weird. He doesn’t like it. It’s like there’s worms or something crawling around in his torso. He wants to push Hawks away, or push him over the railing, but…
Instead, he reaches down to tuck a finger underneath Hawks chin and lifts his head up. Hawks moves willing, blinking almost sleepily up at him.
He chirps in question, and it isn’t an Omegan sound, it’s… it’s just a bird sound. Hawks… Keigo doesn’t chalk Dabi up to ‘Insane Alpha,’ he just… he treats him like a person.
An insane person, which is, you know, valid, but still a person.
“You look pretty in the sunset.” He doesn’t know why he says it. It’s cheesy, gross, sounds fake. When Keigo laughs, Dabi expects it, but he doesn’t expect the way it sounds fond and comfortable.
“No, you.” Keigo teases back, breathing in. “Will you take off a scent patch for me, or at least peel one back? I miss your scent.”
Dabi scoffs. “There’s something wrong with your nose then.” But he does peel the corner off one of his patches very carefully around scarred skin. Keigo leans closer and breathes in, his whole body letting go of a tension Dabi hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.
He swallows down his next words. They want to come up, but he doesn’t want to let them. Because what he’s feeling isn’t real. It’s fake, only sex is real.
But… sex never feels real with Keigo. Sex feels otherworldly and more and…
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” He whispers against golden hair. He’s terrified and fire burns beneath his skin, ready to defend himself.
“Oh? Big same dude.” Keigo states. “Do you think they’ll have ice cream? Oh, would you set my ice cream on fire?”
And just like that, love is real. Dabi grabs Keigo by the face and kisses him so hard that he’s dizzy with it. And Keigo kisses back.