Chapter Text
The sun was bright in the sky but cotton like clouds drifted past it lazily, breaking up its rays. The soft sunlight trickled into the room Pink was standing in the middle of.
From where he was standing he could hear the sounds of gulls calling in the distance, the waves breaking on the shore of the beach. It was all so familiar and so much like where he’d come from, Pink thought perhaps his plan had failed.
But, no.
It took a few moments for Pink to really believe he wasn’t having a grief fueled hallucination.
Steven’s room in this world was not very different from the one that had existed in Pink’s reality.
The posters and painting on the walls were different, yes. There were some star shaped fairy lights strung across the wall by the bed. Gauzy, white curtains framed the glass window and door out to the balcony. But the crystal geode lamp matched the one that had been on his Steven’s nightstand. The bed also was covered in the same white down-filled duvet.
Pink could smell Steven’s scent in the room. He remembered how after Steven had died, Pink had barricaded himself in Steven’s room and refused to leave it for over a year.
He’d huddled in his human’s bed long after his smell had faded from the sheets.
Now in this room it was nearly overpowering. Pink ran a hand over the bed and shivered at how familiar the fluffy duvet was. He’d spent months cocooned in it, and after a point the gems in his reality had given up on trying to get him to come out.
Unable to resist the temptation, he carefully pulled back the covers. Pink was surprised to see this world’s Steven had a heavy weighted blanket underneath the duvet along with four pillows but that didn’t deter him. After a moment of hesitation he slid between the sheets, nearly trembling as he pulled the covers back over himself.
Steven’s warm scent, the familiar fabric softener, and the fragrance from the body wash he used all intertwined together. He closed his eyes and burrowed further under the covers until he was completely underneath, and curled into a ball.
Pink hadn’t felt this peaceful in a while.
He would just stay like this for a little bit while he waited for the Steven that lived here. Pink would see him and be reassured that Garnet was right, that there were dimensions where Steven was never killed, and in fact was still living his life and thriving.
That was all he wanted to see.
Maybe once he saw that, he’d finally have the closure he so desperately needed. Pink would go back to his own reality and try to figure out how to exist without his better half.
He breathed out, intending to get up to find someplace to wait until he could see Steven again. Maybe he’d go on top of the temple’s statue or the lighthouse. That would give him the vantage point he needed to see when Steven came home from wherever he was.
Steven was probably out on a mission with the gems, and would likely be back in the early evening, that’s how it usually was before anyway.
He would get up in a moment, he was just suddenly very tired. Also, the bed was warm and smelled like home to him. He’d shut his eyes while he relaxed for a minute and then he’d leave.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Pink woke up when he sensed someone near him. Agitated, he curled up tighter. If it was one of the crystal gems he would just ignore them, they should know by now he wouldn’t talk to them.
He felt the cool air of the room waft over him as the cover of the duvet was lifted up.
Pink opened his eyes in alarm and met another pair of eyes peering down at him with bemused curiosity.
“Hi there,” this world’s Steven said in a soft voice. “You’ve been sleeping for a while, are you awake now?”
At once, Pink felt a barrage of emotions slam into him.
Because Steven was standing right there, alive and whole. Pink hadn’t accounted how he’d feel once he saw him, that was a flaw, the emotional variable he hadn’t thought of.
Pink reeled. He hadn’t intended for Steven to see him! The plan had just been to make sure he was okay and then leave !
“It’s okay, you don’t need to be afraid.” Steven’s eyes roved over him. “So, I can tell you’re a corrupted gem but I’ve never seen one like you before.”
Pink immediately felt self conscious of himself. After his Steven had died he’d become corrupted. His hands and feet had changed color, permanently looking like they were stained pink and his fingertips now ended in claws. He had dark pink bruises under his eyes from him crying on and off for years. And the horns on his head stood out like thorns on a rose.
He hadn’t cared much before, but now this Steven was looking at him and could see the shameful, ugly corruption he’d become.
Steven frowned a little, his dark eyes soft with concern, “Hey, I don’t think you’re ugly , besides your horns are pretty!” He smiled sweetly, “they look like little quartz stones.”
Pink was too busy panicking to realize Steven had heard his thoughts. He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t planned for this. And now he was face to face with the only person he cared about more than anything and he was overwhelmed.
This world’s Steven looked very similar yet at the same time different. He looked older than sixteen but still obviously a young adult. His jaw was just a bit more angular and the curve of his cheek not as pronounced. This Steven’s hair was different too, his hair was cut shorter and more styled instead of the thick halo of curls he had worn in Pink’s reality.
These slight differences didn’t negate the fact that Pink wanted him though. Didn’t detract from the fact that this was his Steven.
No, not his, not his. His was gone, and Pink would never have him back.
“Why don’t you come out so we can talk?” Steven said in that same gentle voice, like he was talking to a wild animal. “How come you shapeshifted to look like me? Not that I’m upset about it! I just-”
I didn’t shapeshift.
Steven blinked. “You...you didn’t?” He rubbed his head. “Um, wait. Did I just hear your voice in my mind?”
Pink was alarmed at that question, he was going to answer but then heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and sensed the vibration of the floor as someone neared Steven’s bedroom.
Pink, unsure of what to do, scrambled off the bed and hid underneath it. At once he started cursing at himself, why hadn’t he just run out the room and jumped off the balcony?!
Steven crouched down and peered under the bed at Pink with an amused smile.
“C’mon, bud. I swear I won’t hurt you. I can tell you’re nice, so let’s talk.”
Pink froze when he heard the door to Steven’s bedroom open.
“Sweetie, dinner’s ready! Oh, are you looking for something?” A strange voice asked.
Steven sat up. “I’m talking to the pink gem that looks like me under the bed.”
There was a pause followed by a burst of laughter, “You’re so creative , Steven! Anyway, come down for dinner when you’re done talking to your friend. We got pizza!”
“‘Kay, mom.” Steven said before the door closed.
Pink floundered. That had been Rose Quartz’s voice. She was alive in this reality? How was that possible?
Steven leaned to look at him under the bed. “Are you going to keep hiding under there?”
Pink nodded mutely.
Steven sighed but didn’t argue. “Okay, I’m going to get some food, I’ll bring some up to you.”
Pink watched silently as Steven stood up and crossed the room. He waited until Steven’s footsteps were halfway down the stairs before he bolted out from under the bed and fled off the balcony.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Pink was crouched on the railing of the lighthouse, and staring down at Steven’s house pensively.
He needed to go back to his home now. That had been the entire point of this right?
That was why he had jumped between worlds.
Pink had accidentally figured out that when he screamed at a specific frequency, he was able to rip open a tear through the fabric of reality. It had been how he got here in the first place. He hadn’t understood how he was able to do it, but he supposed Lion’s ability to teleport was somewhat similar. The difference was Lion was able to warp through space, Pink was able to warp through space and time.
All he’d wanted to do with that power was make sure that Steven was still alive somewhere, safe and happy with his family.
Even if his wasn’t.
He tucked his knees against his chest. He needed to go home. Back to the gems. Back to...what?
What was waiting for him? After Steven had died he almost never left his room. Occasionally he went to the place Steven had been buried and slept there, trying to imagine he could still feel the connection between them. Of course, that was only a delusion of Pink’s grief haunted mind.
He didn’t belong here, though. Tears burned at his eyes, feeling the hopelessness of the situation sink into him.
“Hello?” An intimately familiar voice said behind him.
Pink flinched and looked behind him from his perch on the lighthouse railing.
Something squeezed tight in his chest when he saw Steven standing there, smiling. He had apparently climbed the steps of the lighthouse. Pink must have been so deep his his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed. How had Steven even known to look for him here?
“I saw you up here.” Steven said with a slight laugh. “Did you know that you glow ? It’s really not hard to find you at night.”
Pink’s eyes were wide as he drank this world’s Steven in. He was like a beacon of light that he couldn’t help be drawn to. He wanted to bury himself in that irresistible warmth and keep him safe, safe from anything that would ever hurt him.
He watched as Steven’s cheeks turned red in a rosy blush.
“Um. Wow. That’s... intense . Have we met somewhere? I don’t typically forget a gem I’ve met before.”
Pink shook his head. No.
And it was true, this world’s Steven had never met him.
“I know it’s not my business.” Steven said. “But it seems like you’re really hurting. I know I’m just a human but I help corrupted gems all the time! Or, I try to help as much as I can, I guess.” He stepped forward, his hands up and palms out in a gesture of peace. “Obviously you understand me, so can’t we just talk?”
Pink only barely resisted the urge to reach out and snatch Steven to hold him close like he wanted. Instead he sunk his claws into the metal railing underneath him.
Mine. He thought to himself, unable to control his feelings. It was an anxious desperation that gnawed at him and tore him apart.
Steven’s eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks deepened. Pink almost convinced himself he could feel the heat of his blush from where he was. He was disgusting. How could he feel like this? He’d never felt this way about his other half. This warped, toxic possessiveness he could feel burning at the facets of his gem.
“Um...Are you sure we haven’t met?” Steven asked in bewilderment.
Pink felt a mix of frustration and anger unlike what he’d ever known. Because Steven was right here . And Pink had to leave him and go back to where he came from.
This had been a terrible decision. This was torture. Every atom in his body seemed to be screaming that this Steven was his but he wasn’t. He had his own gem, his own life.
Pink couldn’t stay here like this, couldn’t cope with being so close to Steven yet unable to have him. Since he’d become corrupted, Pink had become more erratic. He didn’t trust himself, didn’t trust his own self control.
Pink started to turn with the intention of jumping off the lighthouse. He was mid spring when arms were around his waist and pulling him backwards from the railing.
“Are you out of your mind ?!” Steven asked furiously as he yanked Pink back with him into the lighthouse. “I know you’re a gem but we’re over two hundred feet up!” Steven stumbled and they both fell backwards into a pile on the floor, but he hadn’t let go of Pink.
Pink could have easily broken out of Steven’s hold, but found himself unable to even conceive of trying to get away.
Because Steven was holding him, his chest against Pink’s back and he was so incredibly soft, and warm, and alive.
He could smell Steven’s scent, and it was intoxicating. Could feel the atoms in his body practically sing with how right it felt to be touching him.
Pink couldn’t stop the broken whimper that escaped his mouth, or the tears that fell from his eyes.
He really, truly should never have come here. Because now it was impossible to tear himself away. How could he return back home, when all that waited for him was emptiness and Steven’s cold room?
Steven turned him around at the sound of his crying so Pink had to face Steven and see his kind face worried over him.
“I’m so sorry!” Steven said frantically as he rubbed Pink’s back, “ I just panicked when I saw you about to jump off the railing, oh jeez, did I hurt you?! I didn’t think it was even possible for humans to hurt gems!”
Pink sniffed, his mind muddled from the surge of his own emotions but still cognizant enough to be confused at Steven’s words.
Human?
“Uh, yeah. I’m a human. Have you...have you never met a human before?”
Pink stared.
You’re a gem.
“Oh! Um, no? I feel like I’d know if I was? I mean, my mom’s a gem but my dad is a human and so am I.” He reached out and rubbed the tears from Pink’s cheek. “Like I said, I didn’t think humans could hurt gems, are you alright?”
Pink felt something short circuit in his mind.
Steven gave a squeak of surprise when Pink’s hand was suddenly pushing under his shirt.
“Wait! Don’t- I’m ticklish!” He tried to squirm away through his peal of giggles but of course he was no match for Pink’s strength.
Because Steven was right. He was a human.
He now realized why this Steven felt different to him, a bit strange but not exactly in a bad way. Like something familiar turned sideways.
This Steven didn’t have a gem. Instead of a gem, he had a navel, just like any other human.
Confused, Pink gently ran his hand over the soft curve of Steven’s stomach which only elicited more giggles from him.
“C’mon, I said stop ! It’s not fair that you’re using your gem strength!”
Pink barely heard him, as at that moment his mind was frantically scrambling to decipher what this meant.
This Steven didn’t have a gem. What did that mean? Nothing, right? Pink still had to leave. Of course he did, he didn’t belong. He stared down at his clawed, pink hand which stood out in stark contrast against Steven’s skin.
Steven had calmed down from his laughter and was looking up at Pink curiously. “So, why did you think I was a gem?”
Pink pulled his hand away. His eyes still stared at where Steven’s gem should have been.
“I have to leave.” Pink heard himself say softly.
He hadn’t spoken in years. It was Steven’s voice, and even the corruption hadn’t changed the dulcet tone of it. He’d stopped talking because it had brought up too many feelings. Couldn’t stand having some part of Steven like that if he couldn’t be fused with him like he was supposed to be.
Steven sat up now that he wasn’t pinned under Pink’s hand. His expression was confused, his brows furrowing as he stared at Pink.
“...Your voice. It, it sounds a lot like mine? I didn’t know gem’s could change their voices, though.”
Pink bit down on his lip so hard it burned.
“Who are you?” Steven asked gently. “Seriously, I can hear your thoughts- . And you keep talking about me like you know me but you keep saying you don’t, and I-.”
Steven scooted closer to him, his dark eyes gazing into Pink’s. “This is going to sound really weird, but, I feel like you-”
He searched for the words, “I feel like you belong to me?” He anxiously ran a hand through his hair, tousling the brown curls. “That’s completely crazy though right? We’re strangers! I’ve never met you before in my life!”
Pink felt his eyes widen at his words. Something sparked inside of him, but he didn’t dare to inspect the feeling too closely.
Steven nervously licked his lip, “When I first found you in my bed, and saw you sleeping, my mind instantly said ‘that’s mine’ . It was like I’d found something I’d lost or missing but didn’t know it.”
Pink shivered. “You’re not crazy.” He said softly in the space between them. “I feel the same.”
“Will you tell me who you are, and where you’re from?” Steven asked.
Pink was scared. “It’s not a happy story.”
“That’s okay.” Steven said. “I still want to hear it. But only if you want to tell me.”
Pink shook his head. “Not now.” He couldn’t bear the thought, maybe someday he could. His Steven had died ten years ago to the day but the trauma was still fresh in his mind.
Steven’s cold, corpse in the grass. Dark blood choking his throat as he died from being severed nearly in half. The crystal gems sobbing over him. Pink’s own hands literally ripping Spinel apart and reducing her gem to fractured shards. The cheerful yellow buttercup flowers painted with the dark red of Steven’s blood.
The funeral, filled with somber faces and tears. Steven’s lifeless body, cleaned, sewn back together, and dressed in a black suit before being laid in a silk lined coffin. The perfect crystal white roses his friends, family, and all the gems of earth and Homeworld lay around him until they overflowed his coffin and piled on the floor around him like a fragrant cloud.
“I can’t,” Pink choked out.
“That’s fine, but I’ll listen if you’re ever ready to.” Steven said.
Pink flinched when he felt Steven’s fingers gently stroke through his hair.
He jerked his head up, and Steven pulled his hand back quickly, apologetic. “Sorry! I just- You were sad and I wanted to- I should have asked first, though.” He sighed in exasperation at himself. “Amethyst says I’m really touchy-feely, she’s right.”
Pink hadn’t recoiled from the touch because he had hated it. He’d just been startled. He hadn’t allowed anyone to touch him since the day he was literally ripped away from Steven by Spinel’s sythe.
Now the sensation of Steven’s hand on him was all he wanted. He wanted it so much his gem ached .
“ Please ,” Pink said in a shaking voice. “Please, again?”
Slowly, Steven reached out and caressed his fingertips over Pink’s cheek. Pink eagerly leaned his face into his soft touch, wanting more.
His eyes overflowed with tears and he felt himself reaching out for this Steven who was alive, and here in front of him, and so, so warm.
Pink wrapped his arms around him and Steven gave a cute, surprised sound but didn’t resist the embrace. Instead he reached up and hugged Pink back, who sobbed into his shoulder, his body shuddering with breaths he didn’t need to take.
Steven settled them back against a wall, letting Pink sit in his lap so he could curl around him the way he wanted so their chests were touching and he could feel his heart beat.
Pink didn’t know how long he cried for, and in fact he must have fallen asleep because he woke up still stubbornly clinging to Steven only now they were situated on the lighthouse’s couch.
Steven was laying under him and gently combing his fingers through Pinks hair, idly humming a familiar song.
“You awake?” Steven asked.
Pink nuzzled his face into Steven’s neck, mindful that his horns didn’t scrape him.
“It’s okay, they’re not that sharp.” Steven said before giving a short laugh, “You already bonked me a couple times with them when you were sleeping.”
“Sorry.” Pink said sheepishly.
“You don’t have to apologize, it didn’t hurt.” Steven reassured. Pink felt Steven’s hand move to touch one of them. “They’re so pretty.”
Pink sighed, languishing in this affection that Steven generously gave him.
“Are you still planning to leave?” Steven asked. “You said that you had to, earlier.”
Pink tensed.
No.
There was no way he could now. His fingers clenched on the fabric of Steven’s shirt and clung to him tightly. He’d only known him for a few minutes but even after such a precious, short time with him, there was no way he could go back to his empty, cold reality now. The very notion was inconceivable.
“I don't want you to leave either.” Steven said, his arms squeezing Pink gently. “We’ll have to figure out what we’re going to tell my family, but I know it’ll be okay.”
“You really want me to stay here?” Pink asked, unable to believe that the stars had blessed him with this miracle of a second chance.
Steven reached out to cup Pink’s face in his hand. “Of course I do.” His thumb stroked Pink’s cheek. “Like I said, you feel like you’re mine. And I know you feel the same about me. I don’t want you to be alone and sad anymore, so I want you to stay.” He quickly added, “But only if that’s what makes you happy .”
“It does.” Pink said, feeling the warmth of Steven’s words.
He turned his face to kiss the palm of Steven’s hand, relishing in the feeling that he was finally home where he belonged.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
