Chapter Text
“No one can know,” Her Diamond said quietly, and Jasper froze just beyond the doorway, torn between continuing her pace to Pink Diamond’s palanquin and returning back to the others of the gathered army with an order to wait on orders. They seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, idly standing by while Rose Quartz and her crystal gems wreaked havoc upon Pink Diamond’s plans. Jasper squared her shoulders and continued her pace, determined to prove her worth, her loyalty, to her Diamond. If there was something wrong, she could fix it, she would find a solution. And if she couldn’t fix it… She could destroy whatever stood in her Diamond’s way.
Perhaps it was the wrong moment, perhaps it was the right one, but regardless it was the moment that changed Jasper’s life when she brushed aside the filmy curtains of the palanquin and stared at her Diamond, transforming into Rose Quartz, her Diamond’s Pearl staring up at the transformation with delight and awe.
“My Diamond!” Jasper shouted, out of surprised instinct more than anything, and the two turned to stare at her. Rose Quartz - no, Pink Diamond, always her Diamond - changed back in a glow of light, freezing as she stared at Jasper, the Pearl covering her mouth with a startled squeak. Jasper saluted out of instinct, freezing in place, staring up at her Diamond, her yellow eyes flickering as she tried to comprehend what she had just witnessed, what she had overheard. “You are Rose Quartz.” It was an obvious statement, but one that Jasper had to make.
The two gems before her looked at one another, Pearl with trepidation and fear, Pink Diamond with the frantic expression of someone who had just had her best laid plans destroyed in the heat of battle and needed a solution, fast.
It was a moment of truth, one where Jasper knew her life, her future, would be determined through her actions in this precise moments. Centuries, millennia, later she would look back on this moment, pinpointed as the moment where her entire life was turned on it’s axis.
Jasper knelt before her Diamond, took a breath, and whispered, “My Quartz.”
“Steven,” Jasper sighed as she stared at the boy, his eyes wet with unshed tears and his lower lip trembling. “You will stop this indignity.”
The infant did not seem to care for that, and ended up crying even more loudly, squalling in Jasper’s single palm with all the strength of a housecat. Greg was out playing his god awful music to earn money, and the other Crystal Gems were out on a mission that required more… Finesse than Jasper was capable of. Leaving Jasper with the dubious honour of babysitting Rose Quartz’s infant son.
“Steven,” Jasper’s low voice did not carry over the infant’s screams. “I am begging you, My Diamond, please cease this noise.” The baby ignored her, as he had for the last hour. Jasper sighed, pulling Steven to her chest and standing, walking through the front door of the beach house to go along the beach. That seemed to calm the child and Jasper let out a relieved sigh at the delighted squeal and then quiet observation that Steven fell into from her arms.
“Oh, ah, Mrs. Universe?”
Jasper sighed and looked over at Mayor Dewey, frowning at the man. “I am not Mrs. Universe, that was Rose.”
“I’m just, um, a bit confused, There’s a few of you and I know one of you is Greg’s… Not wife? Wife?”
“No.”
“Oh… So… You’re sisters?”
Jasper didn’t bother trying to explain the mere concept of Kindergartens and where Gems came from, so she nodded. “Yes. Sisters.”
“So… We were just… I mean, it’s not really a big issue, but the fence-”
Jasper looked at the fence surrounding the temple and a good chunk of the beach. “What about it?”
“Well… Is there anything dangerous behind it? There’s some people who would like to know.”
Jasper thought of herself, of the Crystal Gems, of the corrupted gems and monsters contained in the atrium of the temple, of the countless weapons that all of them had in their rooms, before she shook her head. “Nothing that any of you need to worry about.”
Mayor Dewey nodded, looking at Steven, who had started to tear up and whimper again, Jasper looking down at the baby and sighing as she gently rocked the baby, trying to bounce him and get him to stop the beginnings of his tantrum. Within moments, Steven had begun to scream and wail all over again, Jasper’s shoulders slumping as she sighed and rocked the baby.
“Hey, um, you’re holding him wrong.”
“What?” Jasper sneered at the human. “How would you know?”
“Have a kid myself.” Dewey gave a nervous smile. “You have to support his body more. You can’t just hold him with one hand, he’s probably scared.” Dewey reached out, and Jasper gripped his wrist tightly, threatening to break bone in her meaty palm. “I’m not going to hurt him, I promise.”
Jasper stared at him, and after a moment she released his arm, letting Dewey adjust Steven, removing the baby from her palm and then guiding him to nestle in the crook of her arm.
The baby instantly stopped crying, and Jasper was quiet as she stared down at large, round eyes, sighing in relief at the blessed quiet.
“Look, um…” Dewey looked up at Jasper. “If any of you need a babysitter for Steven, I have a number?” He scrawled out the number on one of his own business cards. “I get being busy, but she’s also great at teaching you about babies in general.”
“Why would I need to learn about babies? Do you think I’m incapable of caring for him myself?”
Dewey stared at her and Jasper scowled, the man fiddling with the card before holding it out to her. “Look, everyone needs help sometimes. Even you loners.”
Jasper stared down at the man, her yellow eyes fixed on him, unmoving and trying to decide if her pride dictated that she should accept the help.
In the end, she did, looking at the name on the back. “Miller?”
“Yeah, Barbara is really helpful, she’s a lifesaver, honestly.”
Jasper was quiet for a moment before she worked her jaw. “Thank you.” She grunted, staring down at the card, refusing to look at Dewey. “Just… Let the town know that the beach is safe. There isn’t anything here that will hurt them.”
“Okay, um… Thank you, Miss?”
“Captain.” Jasper narrowed her eye at the man. “Captain Jasper Quartz.”
“O-oh, a war hero?”
“Yes.”
“Which one?”
“All of them.” Jasper turned and left the man standing on the beach in his nice shoes and suit, returning to the temple with a much calmer and more quiet Steven.
“Jasper!” She looked over at the kitchen, seeing the other Crystal Gems returned from their mission, Pearl smiling at her brightly. “We were wondering where you were.”
“Steven wouldn’t stop crying, we went to the beach.”
“He looks chill now.” Amethyst looked at the baby, and Jasper made a face as Amethyst shape shifted herself through a series of grotesque shapes, making Steven laugh and coo in delight.
“Mayor Dewey came to ask about the fence.” Jasper said, looking at the group, Pearl nervously shifting to glance out the window towards the fence. “Everyone in town thinks we’re dangerous.”
“Well, it’s safer for Steven this way.”
“A fence didn’t stop Greg.” Jasper pointed out.
“True.” Garnet looked at the fence. “And Steven needs other humans. Not just us.”
“We don’t even know what he is.” Jasper sighed, looking down at the infant in her arm, now reaching for Amethyst, who was reaching up for the baby as well, Jasper carefully moving
Amethyst’s arms to cradle the baby properly as Dewey had shown her. “Maybe… What if he’s not like Rose? What if he’s just human with a gem in him?”
There was a long silence before Garnet spoke. “Then we love him, care for him, and protect him. Like we promised Rose.”
Jasper stared down at Steven, frowning to herself. “And if that’s not enough?”
No one could answer that question.
“Babs,” Jasper looked exhausted as she answered the door for the mail. She wasn’t sure when they started to get mail at the Temple, but it was likely when Steven discovered advertisements and signed them up for newsletters and catalogs and magazines by the score. Even when he had outgrown that phase, everything kept coming. Jasper suspected that he had paid for several years worth of subscriptions when first placing his orders.
“Hey, Jasper,” Babs laughed, taking in Jasper’s annoyed demeanor. “Rough day?”
Jasper was about to respond when the television in Steven’s loft began to play the same children’s musical program that it had been playing for the last six hours straight, since Steven had woken up that morning, again. The expression on Jasper’s face must have said it all, because Babs began to laugh. “You know the library lets you rent VHS and DVDs for the kids to watch.”
Jasper stared at Babs before looking back at the house. “Thank you.” She accepted the mail and then went inside, plucking up Steven from his spot on the floor.
“Aaaaw, Jasper!”
“We’re going out.” She turned off the television and hoisted Steven beneath her arm, carrying him to the door and bending so that he could collect his flip flops into his hands, grabbing a sweater for him just in case the wind picked up.
“Where are we going?” Steven asked as Jasper stomped down the stairs, walking past where Pearl was cleaning the windows, the other gem smiling at the sight of the two of them on their way on a small adventure. Jasper looked at Pearl with a smile, but continued her pace.
“To get you some new things to watch.” Jasper said simply.
“Why?”
“Because that current show is driving me insane.”
“Why?”
“Because you watch it on repeat.”
“Why?”
“That is an excellent question, Steven, why do you watch it endlessly?”
“Why?”
Jasper sighed and looked at the boy, jostling him under her arm as she made her way along the boardwalk. “Why?”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Why?”
They made it to the library and Jasper plopped Steven down, watching the five year old shoot off like a bullet to explore the shelves excitedly. There were a few more children, and their parents, milling about, and Jasper felt quietly out of place as she leaned against a wall, arms crossed watching Steven go to the other children, distracted from his task.
Steven was growing, he was struggling, and the Gems were also struggling with the changes. Pearl especially seemed to struggle with Steven growing more independent, needing her less. Recently he had begun to insist on making his own sandwiches. If it weren’t for the incident where he burnt himself on the stove, Jasper was sure he’d insist on making his own pancakes and other hot meals as well. Watching Steven playing with the other children, speaking with them and exploring the library while Jasper sat statue still, waiting for him to stop his exploration and enjoyment.
“Dottie is so worried about Kindergarten,” A woman’s voice filtered over and Jasper’s head jerked around, her eyes fixating on the two humans that were speaking. A woman and a man, sitting at a table and observing their children. “I’m glad to hear that she and Joey are going to be in the same class.”
“Absolutely.” The man nodded. “Besides, Miss Fong is a very good teacher from what I hear, she’ll make sure that their experience with school is a good one, set them up for success.”
Jasper frowned, listening to the conversation continue until the two changed subject, leaving Jasper with more questions than answers.
“Jasper, Jasper!” Steven called, and Jasper stood, lumbering over to him, careful of the children wandering around and between her legs, avoiding her massive steps easily with the sort of dexterity that made Jasper nervously think of cats and other small animals that Jasper had accidentally stepped on in the past. “Can I take these?”
“Sure.” Jasper said, smiling at the brightly coloured books and VHS tapes and CD cases that Steven collected.
With some trial and error with the scanner for borrowing the books, a few trips to the front desk to ask questions, and Jasper and Steven were out of the library, headed back to the Temple.
Greg was there when they arrived, speaking with Pearl in the kitchen.
The relationship the two had always been strained at best, combative at worst, but Jasper couldn’t help but be a bit pleased that Greg was there. It saved her having to hunt down his noxious looking van in the town to ask him questions.
“Greg, what does a Kindergarten mean to humans?”
“What?” Greg asked, obviously ripped from his conversation (or argument, most likely) with Pearl. “Kindergarten?”
“Yes. Small children go to it.”
“Yeah, well, children Steven’s age tend to go, but I don’t think he needs it.” Greg said, looking at Jasper. “What brought this on.”
“We went to the library!” Steven shouted from his loft, grinning down at Greg and Pearl.
“There were other children and their parents there.” Jasper folded her arms, looking at Greg. “He needs structure. Instruction. Like all soldiers.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Steven is not a soldier. He’s not even an adult yet.”
“A Quartz is born with the capacity to take orders and instruction.” Jasper scowled.
“Well maybe I want Steven to question the order of things more than a Quartz does? That’s the whole principle of rock and roll!”
“Steven might still develop his gem powers.” Jasper pointed out, scowling at the human. “When that happens he’ll need discipline.”
“Well that’s still some time, and we can teach him discipline here, responsibility.” Greg looked nervous at the prospect of disciplining his son, and Jasper glanced at Pearl, who was not looking pleased at this conversation.
“He needs other humans.”
“He can socialize with other children without school. The park and the library like you did today!”
Jasper scowled before she sighed and conceded defeat. Greg was, after all, Steven’s father, and Rose wouldn’t want Greg’s decisions to be overridden. Jasper could hear her Diamond’s voice in her head, scolding her and saying that Greg was human, that he’d have a better idea of what was best for Steven.
“Fine.” Jasper conceded, scowling at Greg. “But he starts training sooner. With me.”
Greg looked like he was about to argue, but Pearl was the one who stepped in. “Perhaps Garnet or I should start? Jasper, you’re very hard on him, and you’re quite impatient… I think it might save us tears on all fronts if it was Garnet or I. Or just me.”
“Pearl, he’s going to need real discipline, someone who expects more of him, you congratulate him on just waking up and breathing every morning.” Jasper scowled, folding her arms over her chest.
“I think I’d prefer Garnet.” Greg said weakly. “Or Amethyst?”
“He might need discipline, but he still needs proper encouragement! You’re too hard on him, nothing is ever good for you.”
“That’s not true!”
“You just want to make sure that he’s molded in your image!”
“I want to make sure he doesn’t become like Pink!” Jasper shouted back, top of her lungs.
The three adults froze, the sound of Steven’s new video playing upstairs. Jasper was shaking slightly, so was Pearl. Greg looked confused, but had the decency to say, “I don’t want to know.” He said quietly. “But I don’t want Steven to feel like he’s doing something wrong just by not being like everyone else.”
Jasper let out a deep breath, and Pearl did the same, the two of them staring at one another before Jasper nodded. “We’ll all train him. And then he can decide who he wants to train with more when his powers manifest.”
“You’re not his mother, Pearl.” Jasper hissed quietly, trying to keep the argument down so as not to draw Steven out of his sleep to the beach where Jasper and Pearl were arguing, pacing along the shore.
“I’m not claiming to be!”
“You act like it.”
“Why wouldn’t I care about him he’s all that’s left of-”
“You think I don’t know that?” Jasper snapped, her fists clenching. “You think I don’t feel the same way. He’s all that’s left of her and I understand, but that doesn’t mean she would want us to baby him.”
“He’s only just manifested his powers, Jasper, go easy on him.”
“If we go easy on him then he’ll never learn self control, he’ll never learn how to handle himself.”
“He’s not a Quartz, he didn’t just spring fully formed in perfect control of everything!”
“You think I knew how to handle myself with a fraction of the control I have now?” Jasper scoffed. “You didn’t see me first form, you didn’t know how I ended up as a Captain.”
“He’s not a soldier!” Pearl shouted, her eyes wide and glistening with the beginnings of tears.
“He’s not a baby anymore either!”
“He’s always my baby!” Pearl’s voice cracked, her fingers clenched at her chest. “H-he’s my baby. Not Rose’s. I’m the one who has taken care of him. I’m the one who practically raised him while everyone else fought.”
It was true. Jasper spent time with Steven, but it was few and far between for her to spend an entire day alone with the boy. Steven was Pearl’s through and through. She was the one he went to for comfort, for love and affection and praise. Today, when faced with who he wanted his training to be directed by, he had chosen Pearl.
It was always Pearl. Even when Steven wasn’t Steven. When he was Rose. Pink Diamond.
“He’s not Pink Diamond. He’s not Rose Quartz. You can’t keep him all to yourself neat and protected like your room.” Jasper snapped, glaring at the Pearl.
“I-I don’t want to keep-”
“Of course you do, you always have, even when it was just you and Pink Diamond running around playing games in disguise.” Jasper grabbed at Pearl’s wrists. “You don’t care about anyone else. Just you and Pink Diamond, whatever form she might take.”
“That’s not true!” Pearl tried to rip her arm free of Jasper’s grip, only for the larger Quartz to grip her even more tightly.
“Yes, it is. If you had your way you would have left me behind, let me believe that you and Pink Diamond, the person I was made to live for were dead.” Jasper’s eyes narrowed and she stared at Pearl, her voice shaking as her grip tightened. “And you wouldn’t have felt any remorse about that, would you?”
Pearl stared up at Jasper, silent, her mouth working before she whispered, “You… You really think that?”
“Of course I do,” Jasper scoffed. “It was always you two. The rest of us were tagalongs. I wasn’t meant to know at all, was I? I just arrived at the worst time.” Her hands trembled from where they had moved to grip Pearl’s upper arms, the two of them standing too close. “You would have been happier with just you and Pink Diamond together alone wandering this world in disguise.”
“That’s no true.” Pearl whispered, staring up at Jasper. “It’s not.”
“Prove it.” Jasper sneered.
Pearl leaned in and before Jasper could pull back she had tilted her head, Pearl’s long nose brushing Jasper’s cheek as Pearl kissed her, deep and firm and quiet.
They pulled back after a few moments and Pearl looked up at Jasper, who stared at back quietly before leaning in for another kiss.
Pink Diamond would be disappointed. She wouldn’t have believed her capable of this, of this bastardization of something that she had considered so beautiful and sacred.
“Fuse with me!” Jasper had demanded of Lapis Lazuli, grabbing her delicate ankle and dragging her back down towards the wreckage of the ship. She knew this would result in something terrifying and monstrously huge. But monstrous was what they needed to destroy the Homeworld ship, to destroy the other Agate that had arrived and shattered the tranquility of the life that she and the other Crystal Gems had built.
“Jasper!” The Agate shouted at her, holding a crackling destabilizer in one hand and a whip in another. The Peridot that had arrived with her had launched herself from the escape pod long ago, leaving the yellow Agate alone to face down the Crystal Gems. “You will obey orders!”
Some long buried conditioning reared it’s ugly head, and Jasper hesitated, holding her hand out to Lapis Lazuli, staring at her. “Fuse with me or I will shatter you like I should have, instead of letting them put you in that mirror.” She whispered, quiet enough that no other gem would hear the threat.
Pink Diamond would hate her if she could see her. Maybe she could, through Steven’s eyes. She hoped that he wouldn’t hate her either as she grabbed Lapis’ wrist and pulled her into a short, violent dance, the two of them fusing together to form something else.
Something huge and looming and monstrous.
Malachite.
The yellow Agate scrambled back, screaming in horror at the sight of them, looming and laughing and cackling as they raised a hand, lunging forward.
Before Jasper could give the killing blow, water rose up, wrapping around her body, dragging her towards the ocean.
“What are you doing?!” She shouted at Lapis.
“Taking my revenge for all those centuries.”
Jasper howled in terror, in pain, but she would not let herself be dragged down without finishing what she had set out to do. Without the Agate.
Her palm slammed down onto the sand and Steven and the other Crystal Gems were screaming as well, but the Agate was most terrified, cowering and trying to run on the soft sand, but Malachite’s hand grabbed at the gem, gripping tightly, tighter, tighter, until she had poofed into nothing but the hard, smooth surface of her gem, landing on the sand as waves of water clawed Malachite to the depths.
“Jasper! Lapis!” Steven’s voice cried out, and then there was nothing but the silent, deafening pressure of the ocean.
“You’re a monster.” Lapis’ voice whispered within their combined mind, and Jasper looked over at her.
“So are you.” Jasper panted, staring at her. “You led them here. And now you’re keeping my captive.”
“I was a prisoner for centuries, for thousands of years.” Lapis snarled. “Your prisoner, the Crystal Gems’ prisoner.” She lunged forward, every ounce of wiry strength slamming into Jasper’s bulk, sending them tumbling down. “And now you’re mine.”
“Jasper!” Pearl’s voice was unmistakable. She had only spent millennia listening to it. She could recognize it even if she had forgotten the rest of her very existence. Which was probably why she woke up as quickly as she did, her hand pressing to her face as she groaned and rolled onto her hands and knees on the surf.
“Jasper, are you okay? She’s going to be okay, right, Pearl?”
“Steven,” Jasper groaned, her hand reaching out to the boy, ruffling his dark curls and smiling down at him. “I’m fine, Steven.” She didn’t feel it, not with the way her muscles ached and her entire form felt on the verge of poofing, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought. “By the Star, I hate fighting Rubies.” She grumbled, kneeling in the field where they had been trying to trick the, admittedly stupid, batch of Rubies into believing they were human.
Jasper regretted playing along with it, especially with Lapis and Peridot causing nothing but trouble and nearly blowing the cover of the group. When the Rubies had formed into an enormous Ruby, Jasper had raced out, standing between her and Steven, only to be knocked down easily. She was nothing if not tenacious, however, and had managed to scatter the Ruby into her different parts, leaving her group to more easily defeat the individuals. That didn’t stop her from feeling like the time that the Gems had stopped a runaway train a few centuries ago, Jasper landing on the tracks with only her helmet and smashing herself against the locomotive to stop it.
“That was very foolish of you, Jasper,” Pearl scolded, though her hands were soft on Jasper’s shoulders, her back, her temple, searching out any wounds.
“Couldn’t let you be hurt,” Jasper murmured, grasping the delicate hand as she regained her composure and stood. “Come on, let’s go home before more trouble arrives.”
“What do we do with the Rubies?” Garnet asked, looking at the gems scattered around.
“Bubble them for now.” Pearl said, before any other votes could be cast. “We can commandeer their ship, keep it at the temple.”
“And when they send more Rubies? Or Quartzes?” Jasper asked with a sigh, looking at the group. “They’ve sent an Agate. Rubies. What about Citrines? Or Amethysts? What about when the Diamonds themselves arrive to finish things?”
“Then we’ll be prepared.” Pearl snapped. “We’ll discuss this later, Jasper.”
Jasper glared at Pearl, but didn’t argue further, knowing that it was inappropriate to argue in front of Steven. They were a team. They needed to pose a united front. After all, Jasper wasn’t a Captain in Pink Diamond’s army anymore. She wasn’t following orders from her Diamond, or even from Rose Quartz, anymore. She was part of a team, who all had equal say.
Including Steven.
“Pearl’s right,” Steven said as he looked up at Jasper. “We’ll be prepared. Let’s go home.”
If Jasper searched the deepest recesses of her memories she could recall when Pearl was first introduced to her.
She had been a quiet, uncertain little Gem that stood beside Pink Diamond at her beck and call. Pink had been a bit of a brat, but the new colony on Earth that Yellow had cultivated carefully, prepared for Pink’s arrival, had already been running smoothly. All Pink Diamond had to do was maintain the status quo. Jasper had been assigned as her military adviser, a Captain already despite being young and from Earth itself. She knew the local fauna and flora, despite her distaste for it, and had a good grasp of the geography of the planet. It had been her job to relay that information to Pink Diamond, to give status reports, to ensure that the new batches of Amethysts, Jaspers, and Rose Quartzes were trained and given their orders.
Pearl’s job had been to look pretty.
And pretty she was.
Sweet and slender and so very soft on the eyes, she had stood beside Pink Diamond, dressed in her standard uncustomized outfit and looking awkwardly up at Pink Diamond, desperate to make a good impression, to gain the approval of the capricious and immature Diamond.
Jasper had always liked seeing Pearl, had always liked giving her reports to Pink Diamond because the Pearl would always be there, dutifully recording it all, listening with rapt attention, occasionally glancing up at Pink Diamond, but keeping her eyes politely fixed upon Jasper herself.
The first time Jasper had tried to kiss Pearl, it had been in a stolen away moment beside Pink Diamond’s palanquin, Jasper giving a last minute update to a minor situation late at night. Looking back, she’d realize that likely Pink Diamond had been off running amongst the local humans disguised as Rose Quartz, and that was why Pearl had been so desperate to keep Jasper out of the palanquin. Pearl had complimented Jasper in her loyalty, her sense of duty, spiraling into compliments of her looks, her strength. It had been misread signals, or so Jasper had thought. So she had leaned in as Pearl complimented her, dainty fingers resting on Jasper’s strong arm, Jasper’s hand resting on the small of the Pearl’s back and drawing her in for a kiss. A kiss that Pearl had quickly broken and run away from.
Standing here, now, in Pink Diamond’s Human Zoo, bathed in pink light, with Pearl by her side, playing the dutiful servant to her Sapphire, even if she played it a bit clumsily, Jasper couldn’t help but think back to those days, couldn’t help but think of how she could count on one hand the number of times she had kissed Pearl since then.
Would they have been here, she wondered, if Pink Diamond had not abandoned her own armies, faked her own death. Would they have ended up as the guardians and caretakers of this strange construction? She wondered if it would have been just them, quietly tending to these beings that Pink Diamond had been so fascinated and enamored by. If they would have had these endless empty hallways with dozens of private nooks and crannies, perfect for hidden trysts.
“Where are the Rose Quartzes?” Sapphire asked curiously as she looked at Holly Blue Agate, the caretaker of the zoo grinning down at Sapphire with a cruel edge to her teeth.
“Oh, they’re in this next chamber.”
The doors swung open and Jasper caught a glimpse of Steven and Greg ducking behind a pillar, her own golden eyes flicking to the two, gesturing for them to hide behind her own bulk as Holly Blue Agate froze and then saluted, the others of their group throwing up the diamond salute.
“My Diamonds!”
Blue and Yellow, in the middle of whatever bickering they had been doing, looked over, their Pearls turning to sneer down at Pearl, making Jasper frown and fold her arms, blocking out Greg and Steven as the two humans waited for their chance to dart away.
“I did not know you had returned so soon. Your Sapphire has just now arrived to prepare for your future arrival.”
“I did not send a Sapphire.” Blue Diamond frowned, looking down at the group with more scrutiny.
“I had a vision that you would need me.” Sapphire said as smoothly as she could. Pearl’s eyes were fixed away from the Diamonds, and following her gaze, Jasper froze as well at the hundreds upon thousands of bubbled gems.
The Rose Quartzes.
They wouldn’t be able to save them all, not even a few of them if the Diamonds were here.
“Dismissed.” Yellow Diamond sneered after Sapphire and Blue Diamond’s exchange drew to a close, Jasper snapping out of her thoughts as she bowed and backed towards the doors, giving Greg and Steven a chance to run before Holly Blue Agate could see them. “And control your Pearl better, Sapphire,” Yellow Diamond snapped. “A proper pearl should not gawk or let her gaze wander from her superiors.”
Jasper had kissed Pearl four times since they had known one another, and they had never fused. But for the first time, Jasper wished she could fuse with Pearl, if only to protect her from the piercing gaze of the Diamonds.
Steven fell and Jasper could hear the crunch of his bones, of every inch of him breaking upon White Diamond’s glittering, pristine floor. His Gem was still clutched between her fingers and White Diamond released it to let it reform, shifting shapes, before settling upon the silhouette of Steven.
She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. All she could think of was pain and terror and how she had failed Steven, how she had failed Rose Quartz, how she had failed Pink Diamond.
She had failed Pearl. She had promised to protect him.
It was surreal watching Steven’s human half and gem half reconcile together, clinging to one another, reforming into a singular being. White Diamond’s tantrum began and her hold on the other Crystal Gems dropped when Steven laughed and said, “I am a child, what’s your excuse?”
Pearl raced over to Steven, hugging him and Connie together, Garnet and Amethyst piling on, and Jasper moved, kneeling next to Steven, drawing him into her arms. “My Diamond,”
She sobbed quietly into his hair. “I thought I had lost you, Steven.”
“I’m here, Jasper.” His small arms clinging to her shoulders, Jasper stood, drawing Steven protectively to her chest. “We’re all here.”
Jasper understood a loss of purpose, probably more than any of the others, barring Pearl. Bismuth and Jasper had clashed from time to time over the years, over various things, and Jasper never quite understood why Garnet chose to be a perma-fusion, Amethyst was her own bundle of neuroses that Jasper knew she couldn’t quite compete with, but all of them had adapted to being driven by some deep internal need and purpose better than Pearl and Jasper had. Without Pink Diamond officially existing, with Rose Quartz trying to bring about a new world order among the Gems, with no more war after the final attack of the remaining Diamonds, Jasper and Pearl had struggled. Jasper was a warrior, made to follow orders, Pearl was a servant, made to cater to the whims of her master. How could they ever adapt to freedom?
But even now, looking at Steven and his struggle to find purpose outside of leadership, outside of fixing the mistakes of his mother, Jasper wondered if perhaps she and Pearl had done him a disservice by not confiding in their own failings and struggles and shortcomings.
“He needs guidance,” Jasper whispered to Pearl quietly as they stood leaning against the balcony of Steven’s home, watching him walk with Connie along the beach for a quiet picnic, encouraged by Garnet’s two components.
“No, he needs to find himself.” Pearl whispered back, her elbow touching Jasper’s, her jacket removed for now, letting the warm summer air warm her skin. Jasper’s own usual tank top ruffled in the wind, her jeans making her legs feel a bit too warm, but she didn’t care enough to change as she leaned into Pearl’s side. “You remember that, don’t you? Finding your own purpose.”
“This is different. I had you, I had Pink. We were all struggling, confused, trying to find ourselves.” Jasper ran her hand through her mane of hair, watching Steven and Connie disappear, hand in hand.
“He has Connie,” Pearl looked at Jasper. “She’s trying to find herself.”
“She has a better network of friends than Steven has.” Jasper pointed out. “She’s known her life path for so long. And Steven… He’s never had that chance to just be. He’s always been in Pink’s shadow.”
Pearl looked down, frowning to herself as she rested her hand on Jasper’s thick wrist, looking at her pale hand upon the striped orange and red one. “You’re right.”
“I’m going to take him camping.” Jasper said, staring at the beach, at the ocean. She sometimes thought of Lapis, Steven said that it had been years and she shouldn’t hold a grudge, but he forgot that years were different for Gems, it might as well have been last week that Lapis had held her captive for over a year, beneath the surface of the water.
“You think that’s wise?”
“I don’t.” Jasper said simply. “But I think he needs structure, and he needs discipline. And no one has given it to him as much as he needed it.”
Pearl stroked her hand over Jasper’s knuckles, lacing their fingers shyly together. Jasper looked down at their intertwined fingers before she lifted their hands so that she could kiss Pearl’s fingers gently. “Just… Don’t be too hard on him.”
“No promises, Pearl.”
Millennia of memories flashed before her eyes and Jasper knew she would not wake up the moment Steven’s shields became spiked and spread out, intent on destroying her. She stared up at him, eyes wide, frozen in place.
“Steven!” She shouted, trying to raise her arm to protect her face as the shields came crashing down. “Steven, sto-”
Darkness.
Nothing.
What was this?
Death?
Pearl, forgive him, he didn’t mean to.
And then flooding, water, filling her mouth, her lungs, stinging her eyes. It wasn’t salt water, though, and there was no oppressive darkness.
Jasper reared upwards, gasping for breath, shaking and choking, coughing up water her eyes darting around before they fell on Steven, with tears running down his face, mingling with snot and drool from his sobbing mouth. Jasper, for a moment, thought of when he had been a child and cried the same way over a skinned knee or accidentally running into the table’s edge.
“You… You shattered me.”
“Jasper, I’m so sorry.” Steven sobbed, staring up at her. “I didn’t mean to.”
Jasper reached out, drawing Steven into her arms, stroking her fingers over his hair, clinging to him. “I know.” She whispered, staring off into space, listening to the other Crystal Gems pounding on the bathroom door. “I know you didn’t. I know.” She kissed his head, and when the door opened and Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst all stood in the doorway, peering in to check on Steven, they froze.
“I didn’t mean to.” Steven whispered, and Jasper knew the others had heard him from just their faces as she rubbed her broad palm over Steven’s back.
“Steven… What did you do?” Pearl asked quietly, staring at Jasper’s face.