Chapter Text
RedHeadedMother: What are Jaime and Brienne doing during the drive down?
PerfectPrincess: they r fighting
RedHeadedMother: About what now?
PerfectPrincess: i think he wanst 2 hold hands and she doesn't want 2
RedHeadedMother: Do you think he will be distracted by her when it comes to the league?
PerfectPrincess: hes distracted by her when hes driving
RedHeadedMother: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT
--
Evenstar: Your lineup looks good. You had a good draft. You should be proud.
WarriorMaiden: Thanks, Dad. But you know, injuries, something can always go wrong.
Evenstar: I have faith in you.
WarriorMaiden: I know.
Evenstar: I thought you were going to call?
WarriorMaiden: I'm driving back home now with Sansa and Jaime.
Evenstar: The Lannister boy?
WarriorMaiden: Yes.
Evenstar: You've been spending an awful lot of time with him Brienne.
WarriorMaiden: I have...
Evenstar: Do I need to have a talk with him and mention my ability to deliver a bonecrushing hit? Maybe show him some of my old college football film? Send him the youtube links to my best plays?
WarriorMaiden: Dad. I can take care of myself.
Evenstar: Don't be silly. Of course you can take care of yourself. It is simply my duty as a father to intimidate, insult and frighten every man who even considers laying a hand on my little girl.
WarriorMaiden: Not so little, Dad.
Evenstar: Always my little girl. Always. I love you.
WarriorMaiden: Love you too.
--
SexViper: I am very pleased with our lineup this year.
LimpingLord: Excellent. You don’t need me to actually do anything do you?
SexViper: Of course not. This year, I will take down the Lannisters.
LimpingLord: Avenge the family name, brother.
--
Unknown: A man cannot help you.
KellyCsBear: I was just hoping you could advise Viserys.
Unknown: Should a man help his competition?
KellyCsBear: He always goes for flash over substance. He drafted Tony Romo.
Unknown: A quarterback can be a turnover machine.
KellyCsBear: Khal Drogo would never have drafted Tony Romo.
Unknown: A Horse Lord is in a different League.
--
UKnowUWantMe: u drafted 2 many packers
YoungWolf: dad says its the honorable thing
UKnowUWantMe: whats honorable about sucking at fantasy football?
YoungWolf: dunno, the pack will pull us thru though
UKnowUWantMe: uh huh
--
FlayMaster: I have little faith in Ramsay.
SharkKing: did u see theon draft a kicker early?
FlayMaster: We are going to kick your ass in week 1.
SharkKing: probs. fuckin idiot theon
--
FertileNonagenarian: so, dinner 2morrow?
IronIslandsBattleBabe: Fine.
FertileNonagenarian: i like 2 eat arond 430
IronIslandsBattleBabe: Good gods!
FertileNonagenarian: u can come 2 my place and we can watch game shows after
IronIslandsBattleBabe: We will meet at a restaurant at 730. No earlier. I will not set foot inside your home.
FertileNonagenarian: demmit
--
iluvgilly: so is brie still dating tyrion 2?
Kingslayer: She was NEVER dating Tyrion. Brienne is my girlfriend. MINE.
iluvgilly: k, jes checking, shes all urs
Kingslayer: Sorry, it’s just taken so long for us to actually get together, I get a little jealous.
iluvgilly: brienne is nice, u should b good 2 her
Kingslayer: Are you warning me?
iluvgilly: ...kinda?
Kingslayer: Really, Sam?
iluvgilly: she helped me w gilly, got 2 try
Kingslayer: Understood.
--
RedHeadedMother: Asha just left and that's the last of them.
MrsYoungWolf: Cat, the smell is lingering. What do I do?
RedHeadedMother: Cut an onion in half, put it rightside up in a bowl in on the back of the toilet.
MrsYoungWolf: But won't that make my bathroom smell like onions?
RedHeadedMother: That's better than smelling of Reek.
MrsYoungWolf: You're right. Next time, he stays in a hotel.
RedHeadedMother: Ned wants to talk...I have to go.
[RedHeadedMother has logged out of chat.]
MrsYoungWolf: Later Cat.
--
BAMFLannister: Did you see the team my son drafted?
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: Tyrion did a good job.
BAMFLannister: Jaime will win this year.
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: You really should give Tyrion more credit.
BAMFLannister: ...
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: A bad draft can kill a team.
BAMFLannister: Jaime could draft just as well if he put his mind to it.
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: Tywin...
BAMFLannister: Fine! I'll send him a case of Arbor red.
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: Good.
BAMFLannister: Now what are you going to do for Mace?
BeenThereDoneThatQueen: That's unfair.
BAMFLannister: I know.
--
Kingslayer: I wish you'd agreed to let Sansa take a turn driving.
[WarriorMaiden is not signed into chat.]
Kingslayer: If you had we could be in the back seat right now.
[WarriorMaiden is not signed into chat.]
Kingslayer: This girl can't go back to Winterfell soon enough. If she doesn't stop talking about designer sales, I'm going to shove a dirty sock in her piehole.
[WarriorMaiden is not signed into chat.]
Kingslayer: I'm going to put my hand on your thigh while you drive.
[WarriorMaiden is not signed into chat.]
Kingslayer: How can I miss you so much when you're right here beside me? A week of not being alone with you is going to kill me. And I'm not moving my hand, no matter how much you glare at me.
[WarriorMaiden is not signed into chat.]