Chapter Text
Again.
It happened… again.
I’m just chillin’ in my room, mindin’ my own business, then the universe says “YEET” and I find myself in a fandom. Literally.
I just really hoped I didn’t end up with a gang of armed idiots again. I was getting sick to the back teeth of dealing with that, no matter how fun it was. Why couldn’t I get thrown into a peaceful fandom? One that didn’t include walking disasters such as a crew full of idiot sailors with their treasure hunting and drug smuggling schemes.
Can’t win ‘em all, I guess. Or any in my case. The universe loved to make me suffer for some reason.
Figuring out how I got here would be nice. I could almost call it normal by this point, or as normal as it could be. But I never quite figured how it happened. Magic? Imagination? Dreaming? Drugs?
All I knew was one moment I was just in my room, vibin’ and having a good ol’ time, and then, suddenly, I’m not.
Better get this over with. Lifting my head, I blinked open my eyes.
A man not much older than me sat across from me, teeth bared in a crazed grin as his green eyes gleamed. He looked smaller than he had during the last round of shenanigans, but I didn’t think much of it. Bigger issues.
“Welcome to a galaxy far, far away, Shadow,” he said, brushing black hair from his eyes.
“Trevor,” I groaned, sitting up on the stool. “So, it’s the Star Wars universe this time, huh? Which show, book, or movie are we in?” As I finished, I glanced around to see where the hell I’d ended up.
A large room, far more Earth-like in architecture than expected, that functioned as a kitchen, living room, and eating area with a small countertop area separating the living room and kitchen. Behind me, two doors led to what I assumed was a bedroom and a bathroom. Back in the living room, at the far end curtains drawn to the side revealed sliding glass doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a sprawling mass of lush mountains. The slightest hint of golds and yellows hinted at the imminent arrival of fall.
Mountains, huh? Good, maybe I can just flee into the woods and be a hermit. They’re pretty popular in this fandom after all. But how ironic it’s fall here while spring in reality.
“You’re in that Clone Wars show you adored as a kid,” Trevor replied, pulling me out of my musings.
Oh no .
“On a little backwater world in the Outer Rim.”
Oh good .
“There’s a twist to this universe, of course, but I’ll let you figure that out when… they get here.”
Oh no .
“Excuse me, who’s this… they?” I asked, abruptly standing. Feeling weight on my belt, I looked down and nearly jumped out of my skin. “And these better not be lightsabers!”
“But they are! Careful opening them, they’ll draw attention,” Trevor laughed.
Quickly unclipping them, I chucked them behind the couch. “Nope! Not dealin’ with that. I’m gonna make like Kenobi and peace out into the wilderness if I gotta deal with even one Jedi or the Head Albino Prune.” Order 66 flashed across my mind. “On second thought, I’m ending that bastard even if I gotta do so with a dinner fork.”
A dark eyebrow raised at the threat. “You may get the chance eventually! And relax, you’re no Jedi or Sith. Not Force sensitive either, but you do have telekinesis should you decide to mess with people!” he said, still grinning.
I glared at him before stalking towards the bedroom. “I’m taking a nap.”
“You just woke up!”
“And I’m about to un-wake up. Good day.”
“Shadow!” Trevor complained, jumping up. “You can’t nap now, they’ll be here in about an hour!”
“Who in the hell or hells is they?” I snapped, feeling something swish angrily behind me. Glancing back, I yelped. “The hell is this ?”
I’m a damn furry ? Fuck’s sake!
Trevor laughed as I took in the fluffy calico tail that had fluffed to twice its size. “You’re an Alphian with a little bit of Relk in your blood! You know, the species you created for your original stories which you have currently been procrastinating on?”
Ok, not a full furry then. Explains why most of me looks human, I thought, looking at my arms, upper legs, and torso before feeling my face. “But that ain’t in the Star Wars universe though!” I protested, staring at the calico appendage behind me before looking down to my lower legs and plantigrade feline feet, which were the same color as the tail aside from the white reaching to my ankles. Reaching up, I felt the tall, soft ears and frowned. “Wait, does this mean I’m actually in my original stories, which have for some reason merged into Star Wars?”
He grinned and spread his arms wide. “Surprise!”
That complicated things. I wasn’t the size of a full grown Alphian, which led me to believe I was my same age as real life, or nearly twenty. But to have lightsabers, telekinesis, and the powers of an Alphian…
What kind of overpowered Mary Sue nonsense?
“Now I remember why I hate surprises,” I groaned, resisting the urge to smack my hand into my forehead.
“Don’t you enjoy morbid plot twists and character deaths?”
“When I’m the one writing them!” I shouted back, feeling my tail lash and my ears pin against my skull. I jerked a thumb towards myself. “ Not when they happen to me!”
He cringed. “Oh, that’s not good then. Because you’ve got another big surprise headin’ your way!”
Another?! “Ain’t you a figment of my imagination that gained life somehow?” I demanded, exasperated. “Why is it you know things before I do?!”
“You gave me psychic powers, remember? Said it would be funny.”
“I was wrong ,” I grumbled. “So very, very wrong.”
Trevor laughed. “On the contrary, you were right to do that! I can warn you before some things happen! Like I’m warning you that you may want to familiarize yourself with the Fireman’s Tunnel in the library, the Tower, and the Anthill!”
“The who, the what, and the where?” I stammered.
“Go frolic! They’re on their way!” Trevor sang, bouncing towards the door.
“Hold it, mister!” I said, grabbing his arm. At least as an Alphian I was slightly taller than he was. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere until you spill the beans on who this ‘they’ is that you’re goin’ on about!”
“Fine, fine! Let go, you’re much stronger as an Alphian,” he exclaimed, tugging his arm.
I felt my ears flatten but I let go. Concentrating hard, I shifted into the Omega form, now looking fully human and standing only five foot five so I’d at least be able to blend easier. I felt my knees buckle as the shift briefly sapped my energy, and I grabbed onto the chair. This would take some getting used to again. Pointing angrily at Trevor, I spat, “Spill it before I test what element I’ve got.”
“I get it! Would it help if I said you’re probably already matching them with your shirt?”
I looked down. Black T-shirt with crimson trim around the shoulder seams and down the sides. “Uh, no.”
“Alright,” Trevor said before a large, demented grin spread across his face. “They’re… clones!” He dashed out the door.
“This is the Clone Wars!” I snarled after him, following close behind. “There’s an entire army of clones! That’s one of the most unhelp things you’ve ever…”
I froze after rushing out, however, for in the central atrium of the apartment building a large structure stretched from the ground floor all the way to the fourth story skylight right above my head. “A freakin’ playground?” I shouted, voice echoing around the open space.
“We like to have fun at this outpost! Welcome to the Tower!” Trevor laughed, trotting back to me.
What kind of bullshit was I getting into this time around? “Trevor, where the hell are we?”
“Like I said, outpost in the Outer Rim!” He pointed into my room towards the balcony and the mountains stretching beyond them. “You work as a guide and know these mountains like the back of your hand!”
I barely had time to get out a “What?” before a massive influx of information slammed into my brain.
Deep gorges, the walls stretching high above my head and funneling the brisk wind into me. Sunlight glinting through the lush forest at dawn, striking the morning mist and illuminating everything with a blazing golden glow. Rocky outcroppings overlooking vast expenses of forest, trees as far as I could see stretching into the distance and fading to a smoky blue color. Puffy clouds floating carelessly high above, the bright white in stark contrast with the gorgeous blue sky that went on forever and ever. Shadowy thickets, moss coating every bare patch of rock and fallen log as the spray from the creek coated everything in a fine layer of mist. Bird song echoing through immense trunks, water roaring as it tumbled over rocks and cliffs, rocks clattering as they tumbled down exposed granite.
Shouting in pain, I reeled back before falling to my knees, a hand on my head. Breathing heavily, I clenched my teeth as a wave of agony tore through my skull. While the information dumps aided me in assimilating into the fandom, I dreaded them for this very reason. Clutching my chest, I waited for my heart to stop bouncing around and get back into a normal rhythm. Literally nothing about this was pleasant.
“You’re welcome!” Trevor sang.
“Thanks, I hate it,” I hissed, a pounding headache making spots flash across my eyes. “Any more information I need to suddenly have?”
“Well… the Anthill.”
Another wave of information hit me. A large, two story artificial mound made to mimic an ant mound, only with tunnels large enough for adults to fit through and an open chamber in the center. The area around it built to mimic a yard, if humans were the size of ants. Tall stalks of grass, fallen twigs, fake ants, even a lost sneaker. Memories flooded over me, most of them about… Capture the Flag? Freeze Tag? Sardines? Laughter filled my ears, playful taunts and empty threats. I was crouched beside someone with freckles, bright ginger hair, and a mischievous crooked smile. A name flashed across my brain. Scooter. More running, ducking, crawling, jumping, and just an all-around good time.
Unfortunately, the warm feeling didn’t stay as I came back to the present.
Panting as the images subsided, I looked up to Trevor. “Why the hell would clones be coming here?” I hissed through clenched teeth as nausea rolled over me, making the ground sway beneath me. “Ain’t no droids!”
“Shouldn’t have asked that, Shadow!” Trevor said with a laugh.
More information flooded my brain. A colossal chamber, light shining down from a hole high above, a pedestal in the center of the room, a sleek orb of stone hovering in the center of the pedestal, ivy coating the walls, ferns dotting the edge. The orb… what was it? What did it mean? Why was it significant? But I couldn’t hold the image.
I found myself sitting on the floor with my head in my hands. I felt sick, far worse than I had after the damn wall of death storm I endured on the ship in the middle of the Atlantic. I thought my head would split in two and if it didn’t on its own then I’d cleave it in half myself. “Ugh, that’s it. No more questions from me, me and my remainin’ braincell will stay in the unknown.”
“But you must go into the unknown!” Trevor beamed.
“ No singing,” I snarled, jabbing a ginger in his direction. “I’ll yeet you over this banister.”
He held up his hands. “Alright, I yield. There’s one more bit of information you need, though. I can just show you myself. It’s down in the library. The Fireman’s Tunnels.”
Head still aching, blurring my sight, I shook my head. “I’m lying down for a few.”
“You may want to know this, Shadow.”
I glared up at him. “How many clones?”
“Four.”
“Only four? Then I’ll wing it. Worked in college.” I retreated back to my room.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, John Cena. Now make like the wrestler and vanish from my sight.” I slammed the door and headed for the couch.
Four clones.
Just four.
No big deal.
How hard could it be to stay away from four clones?
Around an hour later, as I laid face down on the couch despising my existence as usual, Trevor’s voice crackled to life from a communicator lying on the coffee table.
“They’ve arrived!”
I groaned and pressed my face deeper into the couch pillow.
“Shadowww!”
Could I die in this fandom? An odd question to a normal person, perhaps, but in the past when I’d found myself in a fictional universe, I hadn’t been an Alphian yet I couldn’t die. Not that Alphians couldn’t die, but they did have that whole thirteen lives thing. So, did I have thirteen lives, or was I invincible?
“Shads!”
If I could die, maybe I could smother myself with a pillow and not deal with Trevor’s shenanigans.
“Paging Shadow. Paging Shadow.”
Morbid, perhaps, but this man…
“Got some people here lookin’ for ya!”
Snatching the communicator, I growled, “Tell ‘em to bugger off. I don’t want nothin’ to do with ‘em.”
Trevor laughed nervously. Why would he be nervous of four clone troopers? “Shadow, that’s rude.”
I had to laugh. “Oh ho no, that ain’t rude. I can be rude if you’d like.”
“No need to cuss like a sailor, Shads!”
“Fuck your chicken strips.”
“Just come down. Please? I’ll get you fresh fruit if you do!” Trevor bargained.
Fresh fruit. One of my few weaknesses. Offer me fresh strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, or mango and I’d just about kill someone for you.
Trevor chuckled. “I know it’s like crack to you!”
“At least it’s healthy crack,” I grumbled. There were worse things that could tempt people into bad decisions. “Fine… let me find my shoes…”
“See you soon! Love you, dear!”
“Take a long walk off a short pier,” I hissed back, tossing the communicator back on the coffee table. Shoving my face into the pillow, I waited until there was no more air left in my lungs before finally rolling off the couch and stalking to my room.
Managing to find some shoes and socks, I grumbled under my breath as I put them on and started outside. It was only after I shut the door and it clicked, locking behind me, that I realized I did not have the key on me.
Face deadpan, I inhaled deeply.
This day.
It was not a happy day.
“All in not good in the neighborhood…”
I glanced at the Tower before stalking across a bridge to the large open area surrounded by netting on all sides that served as the top level. Did it have a slide that went all the way to the bottom?
I did not want to walk.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Luckily for me, and any unfortunate soul I’d have run into going down the steps, it did have a slide.
Hopping out, I glanced around before seeing a sign for the library. Not caring enough to question the architecture, I trotted up a flight of stairs and headed for the library. Stepping inside, I glanced around the two story room for Trevor and whoever he was so eager for me to meet.
What was so special about just four clones-
I froze.
Oh.
Oh .
Oh .
Why didn’t it register when he said four clones? Why didn’t it register when he said my shirt matched?
I should have known. What other group of four clones had I been recently exposed to?
Three men clad in black and red armor. One man in red and white.
One built like a bear.
One skinny as hell.
One lean and agile.
One with broad shoulders.
My jaw dropped at the gang of crazy commando misfits.
Experimental Clone Force 99.
The Bad Batch themselves.
This bad day had just turned even worse.