Chapter Text
The summer was about to end in the Outer Banks, all the teenagers on the isle were looking for some kind of trouble or fun in that last weekend before school started again, so they decided to throw a keg party. All the tribes were in the beach on the south side before sunset, the Pogues, the Kooks and even some of the Tourons. Acting like normal stupid kids drinking, laughing, joking around and making out in every dark corner they could find.
The Pogues were almost happy for once in weeks. Kiara was happy because she helped turtles getting in the sea and the season had been great for her parents in The Wreck. Pope had just got the papers to apply for his scholarship and his family was thrilled. John B and his dad had a great week together, because the storm had made the bay full of fish for them. JJ otherwise didn’t had anything “happy” going on, but he haven’t gotten in to a fight with his old man in days so yeah, that was something to be happy about.
The beach was full and loud with young voices. Some of them were dancing around the fire, some were playing games on the sand and some were staring at others with different kinds of eyes, just like JJ was. He was sitting beneath a tree with a beer bottle in his hands, looking John talking with a blonde Touron girl. Always hitting on silly tourists. He took a sip and looked away. Now, with jealousy in his eyes.
JJ had spent most of his summer trying to change the way he felt about John B. Hiding his feelings, looking away when his friend passed by or stood too close to him, hanging around with every girl he could find. Days have come and gone and nothing changed, he still wanted to be something else or God forbid someone else in John B's life. Sometimes, he would even dare to imagine how everything could be, if he wasn’t his best friend.
Every other day he would think of telling John about it and immediately quitting the thought. He was too afraid to do that. What if John stopped talking to him? What if John talked to Kie and Pope and they started isolating him? What if John think he is... disgusting?
He couldn’t risk that. He wasn’t going to lose his best friend over something like that. Something so wrong in his eyes. Stupid useless feelings.
So, to stop himself from thinking about any of this, today he planned on drinking until passing out, in one of the couches on The Château or maybe even before getting there. “JJ" Kiara called him just before she dropped in the sand by his side. She had a beautiful smile on her face like always. It would be so easy if it was you.
“Doing fine?” she asked looking at him and twisting her hair into a loose ponytail. “Yeah baby, all doing fine here” he smiled for her and spoke with a smirk on his lips “I saw you talking with a tall boy back there, is he fine too Kie?” he took a sip of beer while glaring at her. He used to provoke her with things like this, since the day he saw her hooking up with a boy behind the life guard station at the beach.
“He’s not that cool” she sounded amused “He said ‘yeah girl turtles and dolphins are amazing but have you looked at your ass' “ she talked imitating him with a disgusted look on her face. “Want me to beat the shit outta him?” he asked. Stupid fucker I should push him out of the hill.
She smiled “Nah I’m fine, I already slapped him" her grin was high like his instantly “That’s ma’ girl Kie" He laughed and hugged her over the shoulders rapidly “I’m so fucking proud of you". I still should push him over the hill. They laughed and stood there quiet for some time enjoying each other presence in a friendly peace.
She reclined on the tree looking a couple of teens making out nearby “And how is your love life going tonight JJ?”. Not the way I wanted. “Going like surfing without waves” he took a sip “So like shit, right?" she asked.
“Yeah Kie”. Always like shit. “But I don’t see anyone I like so, you know" he shrugged “JJ there’s always someone you like" she mocked him “Not tonight Kie" he took a sip. Actually the one I like is now taking a girl to the woods, to God knows what. He commented to diverge the topic from him “Well at least John's doing fine”. Stupid fucked up feelings. Even his thoughts now sounded jealous.
“Yeah, he is" she looked for John’s direction nodding. “Well I’m gonna look for beer and Pope” she got up to shake all the sand away and looked for him on the ground “You coming JJ?”.
“Thanks, but I have to leave" he got up too, shaking the sand like her and adjusting his hair “I gotta find my cousin to catch some good stuff" he lied. He was just going away from there, needing air after seeing John with that girl.
“Okay, see you later JJ" she waved lightly for him with that bright smile of her. It would be so easy to fall for you, you’re beautiful and fun, fuck, it should have been you Kie.
---
JJ was walking around, looking for a more distant and quieter place on the beach away from all the teens, he found a sand dune close to the trees, so he got up there to be left alone. This was not a good night for him. His beer was hot so he didn’t wanted it, everyone’s happiness looked offensive and troublesome. He wanted to go home, but not with his father there, he needed somewhere else to stay. A safe place, like John’s house, warm and good.
Fucking bastard useless piece of shit of twisted mind. Why I’m like this? Why can’t I be normal?
He sat and fell with his back on the warm sand, losing the grip on the bottle that rolled down the dune. With his eyes closed, all he could hear was the teens noise and all he could distinguish was their happiness. He wanted that, desperately. He was jealous of them all. I hate it.
“Yo JJ, got wasted already?” someone talked to him, but he didn’t wanted to talk to anybody. So yeah, he was going to pretend to be asleep. Fuck go away. He felt a weight being dropped on the sand next to him “I know you are not that long gone mate” He felt something shaking his arm. Shit.
He used both hands to support his head on the sand and talked with eyes still closed “Unless you are going to get me a beer. Fuck of bro” he heard a brief laugh “Well not here for beer mate" the boy laid on the sand beside him “Wanted to know if you had anything good in hands" the boy closed his eyes as well.
Dad once said ‘be aware son, they always want something from you' of course he was drunk and totally lethargic, but he was hella right, they always want something.
“Nothin’ with me mate” he mocked of the boy's accent “Go get pod somewhere else" his head was hurting now and he wanted it to be because of the loud music. But, deep inside he knew that was not the cause, it was John. The thought of him and that blonde girl doing things in the woods. Holding hands. Kissing. Touching. Taking and giving. I hate this.
“Hey” the other boy called “You good mate?" he said, raising to sit in the sand, shaking his hair with one hand, what made all the sand that was there fall on JJ's face. “What the fuck, I’m down here” he pressed his eyes shut, not wanting it to enter in his eyes. He sat up and waved all of it away from him “Couldn’t you do that to the other side?” he shouted, now his head was definitely hurting.
The boy brought one knee close to his chest as he settled himself on the sand “Sorry for that mate, I didn’t even thought about" the boy tried to set his hair in place again. Kook's never think about anything other them themselves. “Should have thought about that” he responded “Now, can you fuck off, cause you ain’t gonna get pod from me tonight” JJ looked at him, he was pissed and he didn’t had the mind to deal with that now.
The other boy seemed to think about it for some seconds before he replied “And what if I say, that I no longer want pod?” the boy turned and looked JJ in the eyes. What the actual fuck. “What if I say, that I just want your company for tonight?” the boy smirked, sharp and evil. Like the devil he was. Always teasing like you own the world. “Bro serious ” JJ said and turned away from his gaze with cheeks slightly blushed “Go play games with someone else". He was trying to get what was happening right now, why this Kook was still acting like this, when he didn’t had no pod with him. Why don’t you go do this with another one like you.
The boy laughed a little on that “I don’t have anyone else to play, only you out here, all alone” he responded smirking and provoking. JJ flexed his legs on the sand, deciding to play on with him and said sarcastically “Looking for someone younger to play, what a real tough guy you are" the other boy laughed again and turned forward saying “I like them young”. Yeah, now you sounded just like a pervert. JJ only said looking back at him “You sounded like a perv’ bro”.
“What?” the other asked slightly confused and surprised from that comment. Dumb Kook. JJ asked “Bro, what do you think 'I like them young' sounds like?” and completed “You sounded just like a pervert”. With that things finally clicked together for the other boy, after all he did sounded a little like a pervert.
The other boy was blushing “JJ!” he shouted “What the… fuck you bro" he pushed JJ's arm “One, fuck you and two, fuck you that’s gross”. JJ laughed and replied smiling “You said it weirdo" he was just joking with him now, smiling lazily. “Fuck you Jay" the boy tossed sand on JJ's legs with his hand “What the hell is wrong with you, twisting jokes like that" he pushed JJ's shoulder, this time harder. “Man, you said it, not me” JJ talked falsely defensive as he raised his hands above his head. “You piece of shit” He pushed him again, but laughing this time “Stop fucking with me".
“You are the dumb fuck here, not me bro" JJ replied and laughed. He didn’t even notice how fast things went between them, one minute biting at each other and provoking, but now he was laughing and for once in a while he wasn’t thinking about John B at all.
The other boy laughed and said between smiles “Fucker". Both boys were laughing and smiling lazily, close to each other on the sand, just like normal boys, leaving the tribes behind. After some time of silence when they calmed down the boy next to JJ said calmly “Hey mate, can I ask you something?” JJ only nodded with his head saying “Yeah".
“Why are you here alone?” He wasn’t mocking or making fun, simply asking. JJ analyzed the other boy and thought about pushing him off and telling him to go away, but he didn’t saw a reason to do that, the boy wasn’t drunk or high neither looked like a threat to him. So he just responded honestly “I just wanted to be in somewhere quiet". And apparently you are here to guarantee that this won’t happen. “Stranger, I mean looking for quiet while in a party with lots of drunk teens and music" the boy responded.
“Yeah.. you got me on that, but at last here we are far from all that mess” JJ looked at him and asked back “And why are you here alone and not with your rich friends?”.
“I wasn’t in the mood for them tonight and I..” he stopped, looking for words to speak “I don’t like to be around them when they get drunk” he said low while passing his hand on the warm sand. You look so fragile now. JJ asked slowly “Why?”
The boy shrugged saying “They get too cared away" turning to JJ he said “Doing some fucked jokes y’know" he got some sand in his hand and started dropping it little by little “They keep trying to arrange me with every single girl that looks at me” he sighed “It’s fucking childish and stupid, they seem to don’t grown up". Well, how come a boy complaining about girls wanting to be with him, what a hard life you have. “They do that when they get drunk, so here am I".
JJ could think about maybe five jokes to make about what he just heard, but decided to bite it and ask in a uninterested tone “And by all means why would it be a problem bro?”
“Because I do not think many of them are that attractive, obviously they have their qualities, it’s just that I… I do prefer boys actually" the boy spoke carefully and not entirely looking at JJ’s eyes, the last part almost a whisper. He was blushing.
JJ listened, but didn’t understood. The boy by his side was someone he was quite used to, but at the same time he wasn’t. Matthew Montgomery was a strange person. A quiet and playful boy that always had a book in his hands, gentle with everyone, never aggressive, a truly polished British guy. However, he was the one of the Kooks that always came to buy weed from him, cigarettes and alcohol from the liquor store on the south side. Not so perfect thought. They teased each other constantly, but there was never anger or hate in his words, actually they always seemed friendly. Their interactions were almost always short, given the place they came from and by that the people they were friends with, but Matthew always seemed to try and start a talk with him when they came in contact with. He was the one Kook that never ever had talked down on anyone, he always interrupted fights on school or outside, throwing punches only when needed. He was a nice guy. Also a very good looking guy for JJ, not that he would admit it out loud. Freckles, light tanned skin from the sun, dark short curly hair, some muscles, a sharp jaw and blue ice eyes. He was one of the few persons that JJ really looked by the corner of his sight every time he passed.
JJ was attracted to him in ways he wasn’t for John B. With John his heart felt like gasoline and he was the match that would set him on fire. It was a beautiful and overwhelming feeling of want and need. With Matthew his feelings were not like this at all, for him this boy was someone hot that he wondered how his lips would feel like against his own. He thought about what would it be like to pass his fingers on his hair and touch someone like him. A boy. A boy that wasn’t John B.
A boy that even if after touches hated or felt disgust over him it wouldn’t matter. Because, for JJ he wasn’t the one that he thought when he was almost asleep late in the night, the one with the smile he thought when his dad started to yell and call him deception.
He didn’t knew what to say or how to act before what he just heard. For him this couldn’t be real. Maybe it’s just a dream and dad just kicked me hard enough this time.
“Now would be the time to scream at me or ask questions" Matthew said calmly. Scream?. JJ asked confused “Wha’?”.
“Usually, when I tell this to people here they scream at me and call me names or they start questioning me about being like this" Matthew was passing his hands on the sand and talking softly. Do people mistreat you so much? That's why you hide it? Just like me, are you afraid they will treat you differently?. “So, you gonna scream or ask something?”. Maybe both, maybe none.
JJ, after some time said quietly observing the other boy “Ask". Maybe it can be real. “Okay, go for it mate”.
“Do you go telling this to everyone around here?”. Matthew laughed softly on that only replying “Not so often, but it’s not something I’m ashamed of either". JJ asked again “Who knows?”. “Only my parents, a couple of friends and some guys I was with". There are gay guys around here, what the fuck, it’s not like you could find a gay person in every corner, it’s a fucking isle how do you even hide or find it here. “Any more questions?”.
“Why are you telling me this bro?” JJ asked and hoped with fear for the answer. Matthew only smirked “Why do you thing Jay?” waiting peacefully for his moves. Stop smirking like that to me. “Cause' you are drunk and feel like sharing?”. Maybe it’s really happening.
Matthew giggled “I’m indeed feeling like sharing, but I’m driving tonight so no, not drunk at all". That never stopped any Kook around here, but of course you would be the one. “Look Jay, I’m gonna' be straight with you..”. JJ interrupted him smiling lazily “Which you are not”.
Matthew laughed on that “Yeah screw you Jay so original, can I keep going now?”. JJ was smiling and nodding “Yeah, yeah just say it bro" he was starting to feel a hot sensation on his belly. Was this boy actually saying all of this for him. Like what was happening right now. Was he going to confess? JJ's thoughts were going crazy right now even if he looked calm in the outside.
“I wanted to talk with you for some time now, but the chance never came, until tonight" he adjusted his legs on the sand “Look, I think you are good looking, really funny, a very good guy and I think you like boys two, I mean otherwise you wouldn’t still be here listening to me" JJ had a strange look on his face, so Matthew paused his hand on JJ's ankle squeezing a little and turning back to look at him with soft eyes “JJ”.
“I just wanna' know if you want to spend time with me or hang out or maybe when you want it, if you want it, I would like to be with you" Matthew smiled softly and squeezed his ankle one last time, before getting up and cleaning the sand from his clothes, JJ had a strange expression, both confused and surprised by all “I understand I took you by surprise so, I will let you think about it okay, see you Jay" he started heading off.
Matthew Montgomery was a strange person, but he was a sensible person as well. So when he saw the confused face JJ had, he thought that he made the wrong move. Maybe it was not the time to approach him, maybe he was just joking with him or maybe he wasn’t like that at all. Obviously, at the moment the best thing to do was head off, leave the boy to think and understand what he was told.
JJ Maybank was a fucked up person, but right now he was fucking feeling his blood warm. This beautiful boy just said he liked him and he wanted to kiss him, fucking be with him. He was froze in place. He didn’t even knew what to say anymore. He never expected this to happen, after all he thought that John B would be the one and not this boy in front of him.
The moment seemed to never end. Matthew was talking, smiling and now leaving. JJ was very confused and maybe not thinking right, but he decided to take the risk, get up and say “Matthew wait". Fuck John B and the girl in the woods, Fuck that his father would kill him if he found out. Just this once, maybe this one time I can do it. “JJ?”. Maybe this time I can get what I want.
“I want to be with you too" JJ said, but it sounded almost like a whisper, a low and very private one. Matthew, well he smiled, because this made his night “Okay” he took a step closer to JJ “Are you sure?”. Of course I’m sure, didn’t I just say I want you dumb Kook.
JJ nodded “Yeah” he took a step closer too “I am” he looked around and quickly added “But not here ‘kay”. He wanted it now so bad, grab him, pass his hands on his hair and make a mess of him. However, here on the beach they could be seen for others. Yes fuck John B and his Father, but he still wanted to actually be able to breath next time he saw either of them, so, he wanted his privacy. “Can we go somewhere else?”.
“Sure, okay, whatever you need Jay” he was saying fast, eyes soft like a puppy “just gime’ a second" he got his phone out of his pocket tipped something quickly and after receiving an answer, he turned back to JJ “Okay my friends are not near the car, so we are good, we can go catch it and head somewhere else, sounds good for you Jay?”. “Yeah" he was shyly nodding now, almost looked younger in this moonlight with flushed cheeks.
Matthew smiled happily and took his hand “Okay, let’s go them Jay" he started walking them to the woods, far from the mess on the beach, holding his hand. Just crossing those palms trees Matthew's car was waiting for them. JJ thought about pulling his hand away from his grip, but he didn’t do it. There was nobody else around and their hands felt so warm and good together, Matthew’s only a few inches bigger.
Maybe, this was all a mistake. Maybe, he would regret it later that night, but he didn’t care. Matthew Montgomery was holding his hand and leading him to his car, so they could go somewhere else to be together. Whatever that meant. I’m afraid of what may come from this. Their fingers were tangled together and both where smiling. This night was theirs and they were the kings now. Kook and Pogue. Boy and Boy. It didn’t matter.
They were happy.