Work Text:
Home//La Vie en Rose
July 2020
The concept of a countdown had multiple effects on Lance. First, there was the sense of trying desperately to soak in every little detail of every second. From the way each individual strand of Keith’s hair slipped through his fingers to the pattern of his laughter when Keith couldn’t contain it.
Then there was the sense of relentless and unforgiving anxiety that led to too many questions. He felt like he wouldn’t have enough time or wouldn’t cherish it enough. It was a bitter reminder of how it felt being with Allura on her worst days when Lance feared the timer was running out.
Which led to yet another effect- terrifying, gripping, nauseating fear. With Keith going away for such a long time, Lance had endless fears of what could happen. He could get into a car accident. He could get mugged. He could get lost. He could choke on food while living alone. There were too many things that were tugging at all of Lance’s fears.
To make matters worse, the time he did have with Keith was consumed by all of those emotions as well as the feeble attempts at shoving them all down so Keith wouldn’t know.
Grad school was a big deal. It was a huge deal. The school Keith chose in Boston was a great school for the social work master’s he wanted. Even though it had caused a heavy conversation when Keith first decided to apply last fall- the very fall when Lance graduated- he’d known it was the best path Keith could take. And at the time he comforted himself with the idea that they still had a year to be together before Keith started school when he got accepted.
Now, that time was running short. Keith had packed all of his things and his room was empty- even the corkboard had come down. Everything was stowed neatly in boxes that would get shipped to the new apartment Keith leased for the next two years. He was living out of a small suitcase’s worth of clothes for the next month before he left.
As Lance looked around the empty walls, he tried to keep his face neutral. Keith could read him so easily. The smallest twitch of his face gave him away if Keith so happened to glance at the right moment. Lance didn’t want Keith worrying about his feelings and unresolved trauma responses when he was working on building his future.
Lance wanted to be supportive. Which he was, very much so. The only reason things fit so neatly was because Lance had a knack for packing and he’d done most of it after seeing the haphazard way Keith had been doing it. He was the one who’d sat next to Keith and given his opinion on the apartments he looked at. He was the one who watched as Keith registered for his classes, and he’d gone and bought Keith an agenda and a journal and a set of pens.
They were small things, seeing as he would be useless once Keith was gone. Still, each one of those moments, there’d been a kiss, a reassuring squeeze of their hands, and a soft smile from Keith.
He felt hands wrap around his middle and Keith’s chin rested on his shoulder. “Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty boy,” he whispered. “And don’t say it’s nothing. Be honest, even if you think I don’t want to hear it.”
Lance shut his eyes and sighed in resignation. He leaned his body against Keith’s, telling himself to sear the feeling of Keith’s warmth against him. To memorize how they fit together. He’d memorized the feeling of Keith’s body against his in more ways than one, to the point where Lance was positive he would know when it was Keith by simply reaching out and pressing a finger against him, but…. He wanted to memorize the feeling. The precise placements.
He felt a soft kiss at his neck pull him back to the unanswered question.
“I just… don’t know what I’m gonna do without you for two years.”
“It won’t be a solid two years, love.” Keith turned him around. “I’ll be back for Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, and summer.”
Lance nodded. “Yeah…. And besides, we have video calls now. I’ll still be able to see you. It’s just….”
Keith lifted a hand to caress his face and let his fingers trace down his neck before trailing mindlessly along Lance’s collarbone. “I know….” Keith let his fingertips slide down Lance’s chest before coming back up to press his palms against his arms. He took Lance’s hands in his own and pulled them up, pressing his cheek against them. “God, I know,” he whispered. “What am I gonna do when I’m not able to wake up to your bed head in the mornings?”
Lance rolled his eyes and nudged his face with his hands, making Keith laugh softly. “We’ve got a month still, mi vida. I wanna make the most of it.”
“But?” The question made Lance furrow his eyebrows. Keith’s gaze met his. “I know you, Lance. And I know how you are about goodbyes.”
He couldn’t help it; his eyes watered. The fears he’d tried to stifle rose up all at once, clogging his throat and demanding to be felt in full force. “But I’m scared,” Lance managed to say in a broken whisper. “I’m scared of you being away for so long. I’m scared of something happening to you. And I hate feeling like there’s a timer over our heads. I know you’re coming back, and I know….” Lance shut his eyes, and Keith wiped his tears for him as they fell. “But I’m scared.”
“I am too,” Keith admitted. “I’m scared to be alone in a city I don’t know when I finally established so much here. But I know I’ll be able to come back to it all. And who knows, maybe I can do summer classes and graduate early. Then I won’t be gone for as long.”
Lance sighed and wrapped his arms around Keith. “I’m happy for you, you know that, right? Even though I’m scared and even though I hate the idea of not seeing you every day, I’m happy for you. I’m excited for you. You’re making a future for yourself that’s gonna change some kid’s life. You’re gonna be a light for so many kids. And I couldn’t be prouder to be your partner.”
The arms around him tightened for a moment before Keith’s hands were cupping Lance’s face and pulling him into a kiss. “I know that darling, I do. I love you.”
Lance smiled and kissed him again. “Te amo.” He took a deep breath and placed his hands over Keith’s. “No more heavy talk. Let’s get some rest. It’s been a long day.”
He pulled Keith toward the bed, then laughed as Kosmo hopped up and took up an entire side, leaving the two of them to squeeze in beside him.
“God, are we really accommodating to a dog,” Keith said with a huff. Kosmo stood up and turned in a circle before plopping back down with a huff and a little wag of his tail. “Alright, Kosmo, you gotta go over here,” Keith said, pushing against Kosmo’s body. But Kosmo wouldn’t budge. “Alright fine, but you’re gonna be in a sandwich.”
The way Keith had full conversations with Kosmo made Lance smile. Especially when Kosmo would look at him in a way that made it seem like the dog understood. While Keith continued to passive-aggressively shame Kosmo for being such a bed-hog, he managed to scoot the pup between the two of them. Kosmo greeted Lance with a slobbery kiss on his cheek and proceeded to curl up again.
“He’s only this cuddly when you’re here,” Keith muttered. He looked at Lance and smiled before leaning over and kissing him goodnight.
He turned off the light, and Lance stared at the ceiling, watching it go from white to shadowed gray with a glare of moonlight washed in orange from the streetlamp. He listened to the quick huffs coming from Kosmo, to the soft yawn coming from Keith.
As the silence settled, Lance’s mind drifted. He began to fantasize what it might be like to spend every night this way. To see each other every night and every morning, not just on the days they were both off of work or their schedules allowed them to share a meal. It wasn’t the first time the thought crossed his mind, just… the first time it elicited such relief and desire.
“Keith?”
A sleepy, “Hmm?” came from the other side of the bed.
“Why haven’t you asked me to go with you?”
The question resulted in silence. Then shuffling. The light turned back on, making Lance sit up as Keith walked over and sat in front of him. “I didn’t think you wanted to,” he said. “And I didn’t want you to have to make that choice. You shouldn’t have to uproot your life for me.”
“What exactly am I uprooting?” Lance pointed out. “I have a job as a social media marketer for a gaming company. It’s not a contract job. I can find something in Boston. Hell, there’s probably publishing companies I could intern for or be a personal assistant up there. I’m not in school anymore. I was going to renew my lease, but I don’t have to.” The expression on Keith’s face looked like a mix of hope and denial. Like he couldn’t fully believe that Lance would make such a rash decision. “I have my passport. I can probably use my next paycheck to book a plane ticket, I can’t imagine it would cost what it does to go to New York-”
“What about your family?” Keith pointed out with a sad smile. “I know you don’t want to be far away from them.”
The comment did manage to weigh Lance’s heart down, but he shook his head anyway. “I don’t want to be far away from you either. It would suck either way. But I know my siblings have their life in Texas, and my mom has my dad. They’re not alone. You would be alone. And I would miss you. If we go together, we can… keep building us and make our own life. And neither of us would be lonely.”
Keith reached over and took Lance’s hand. “You really wanna move to Boston with me?”
Lance nodded and smiled at him. “I want to be with you. And like you said, we can come back for vacations to see our families. My dad followed my mom from Cuba to the US. I want to follow you to Boston.” Keith’s smile brightened, his nose scrunching up. “I’ll get a job there, you’ll work on your master’s. We’ll get used to the cold, we’ll cuddle Kosmo every night. We’ll make a temporary home there together. And when it’s done, we’ll come back and we’ll figure out what happens next.” Lance grabbed onto Keith’s shirt and weakly tugged him nearer. “You said forever, right? So why bother being apart?”
Keith leaned in and kissed him. It was a frantic, excited kiss where Lance couldn’t even fully react because Keith was kissing him and laughing and talking against his lips and kissing him some more. “You’re my home, Lance. You have all of me. If you’re with me, it’ll be home no matter where we are.” He pulled away enough to get a good look at Lance’s face. “We’re gonna live together.”
“We practically do already,” Lance said with a grin. He ran his hand through Keith’s hair, tousling it playfully. “But yeah. It’ll be official.”
Keith laughed and grimaced. “Does that mean more packing tomorrow?”
Lance’s face fell. “Aw, shit.”
---
He couldn’t avoid telling his parents. Lance had an idea of what the response would be, and he could almost hear the lecture in his head before he heard it- an echo of everything he’d heard his mom say to Luis and about Luis when he had Maya move in with him. He worried about how much worse it would be considering he was planning to go to an entirely different state.
Despite being an adult and paying his own bills, he still felt an obligation to his family and he knew there was a certain order that his mother expected him to do things. The fear of disappointing or upsetting them caused his stomach to churn uncomfortably.
He parked along the curb of his parents’ house and took a deep breath. Here we go.
The door opened shortly after he knocked, and the smell of frying onions and garlic wafted toward him. Mami was smiling and pushing frizzy strands of hair away from her face as she greeted him.
"Hola, tesoro, come in. Your Papi went to get more boxes for your sister. They'll be back soon."
"Yeah, Keith's all packed up, so she can take her stuff over there whenever she's ready," Lance said. "It's funny, Vero didn't like Alexa very much when they met, and now they're gonna be roommates."
"Pues ya ves, the best of friends usually hate each other at first. Siéntate, are you hungry?" She didn't wait for a response before she began to pile a plate with food and set it in front of him. "El Chino was working?"
"Yeah, he had to go in today. He's picked up all the shifts he could to save money when he goes."
Mami nodded in understanding.
As Lance began to build up the courage to tell her, the door opened again and Vero came in, lugging a bunch of flat cardboard.
"Hey, flaco! You staying long? I could use your help packing." She leaned over to greet him with a kiss on the cheek before setting the flattened boxes against the hallway wall.
"Please, you're more anal about packing than I am. I can take some stuff back when I head out though."
Veronica rolled her eyes and sat down beside him.
"M'ijo," Papá said as he hugged him. "No work today?" Lance shook his head. Papá went into the kitchen and Lance could hear him grabbing a plate to serve himself.
Beside him, Veronica squeezed his arm. "You doing okay? I know you're bummed about Keith leaving soon."
"I'm good," he said with a nervous smile. His parents came in from the kitchen and sat across from them with their own plates.
Lance ate due to nervousness more than hunger. He kept his mouth full, feeling guilty the longer he put off the conversation. The last time he’d felt like this had been when he came out to his mom. Thankfully most of the conversation at the moment was focused around Veronica’s moving plans.
By the time everyone had finished their food, Lance had rehearsed his opening statement to the point where the words stopped making sense.
He cleared his throat before his mom could get to start cleaning. “Um, so… Keith and I were talking the other day.” He looked up to see Veronica scrolling through her phone, his dad focused more on the TV, and his mom piling the plates. Her gaze flickered to him, waiting for him to continue. “We talked… about me going up to Boston with him.”
Veronica put her phone down. His dad turned to look at him again, brows furrowed. And his mom froze.
“What are you going to do in Boston?” she asked. There was a slight tone of disbelief in her voice like Lance was telling her he planned on flying to the moon.
“I would get a job. Support Keith while he gets his degree.”
Beside him, Veronica shifted nervously. His dad stayed quiet, gauging Mami’s reactions. Meanwhile Mami pushed her hair out of her face again, shaking her head. “Have you looked at apartments up there? Where are you going to live?”
Lance clenched his teeth. He hated when Mami played dumb. He knew she wanted him to fess up and say what he tried to leave unsaid, but if she already knew, why did she have to make it difficult? He sighed and interlocked his hands over the table.
“With Keith, Ma. I would go with Keith and live with him in the apartment he set aside.” Her lips pursed and Lance shook his head. “Don’t- don’t do that, Ma. Okay, son tiempos diferentes. Maya and Luis lived together and you got over it, so you can get over this.”
“A mi no me hables asi,” she warned. “M’ijo. You know that there’s a certain order to things. Keith hasn’t even come into the house. Mira, no me haces mensa, I know all of you have… had relations with your partners.” Veronica and Lance recoiled at that. “But at least respect... the right order of getting married before living together. Luis did it his way, I thought you would do it the right way.”
“The right way?” Vero echoed.
“Marriage? What?” Lance ran his hand through his hair. “Ama,” he whined. “Marriage has nothing to do with this. Okay, Keith and I aren’t ready for that, and I don’t know if we ever will.”
“Que? Como?” The revelation seemed to shock his dad into finally speaking.
Surprisingly, Mami’s face turned into one of concern. “Ay, m’ijo. Have the two of you been having problems? Moving in together won’t fix that, okay-”
“What? No!” Lance shook his head and broke into nervous and exhausted laughter. “Oh my God. Okay. Okay, let me talk. Keith and I aren’t having problems. We’re better than we’ve ever been, okay. I know that I want to be with him forever, but-” He sighed as he thought of Keith’s reservations on marriage. And he thought of his own. “Marriage isn’t in our plans right now.” He looked at his parents. “I’m almost 22, and I’m not… asking if you’ll let me go with him. I’ve decided I want to. My lease is nearly up, and I can pack within the week. I could sell the big furniture or maybe give it to Luis and Maya. I’m going.”
Although it seemed that the entire second half of what he’d said hadn’t registered.
“No matrimonio? Pero-”
“Caridad, amor,” Papá interrupted. She turned to him and they shared a look. One of those looks where an entire conversation passed within the span of two seconds. In those two seconds, Mami’s shoulders relaxed and the furrow between her brows disappeared.
She turned back to Lance and sighed. “Such short notice,” she said softly. “I can’t stop you. Even if I could, I… I don’t think I would.” Lance caught the way his dad’s hand tightened around hers. “Ay, y tu papi estaba tan listo para darte el anillo.”
“What?” Veronica and Lance asked at the same time.
Papi lowered his head, sighing as he looked at Mami with equal amounts of exasperation and affection. Then he looked at Lance. “Pues si. I figured if you wanted to ask Keith to marry you, you couldn’t give him your mother’s ring. I was going to give you mine when the time came.”
“Oh.” Lance couldn’t deny the way his throat clogged up with the small amount of hope and yearning that the information gave him. But that would have to be put away for the present.
“It’ll be right here,” he said, wiggling his ring finger, the gold ring shining and winking back at Lance, “if it does become part of your plans.”
“Thank you,” Lance said softly. Beside him, Veronica took a slow, deep breath.
“So you’re leaving with him… at the end of the month?” Mami asked.
“Yeah…. We’ll come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas and summer. And I don’t think we would stay over there when he graduates. Our families are here.”
“Have you told Hunk and Pidge?” Veronica asked.
“Not yet. We were going to have a game night,” he said. Mami stood up and picked up all the plates before walking to the kitchen, but not before Lance saw the tears in her eyes. “Mami.”
“Déjala,” Papi said with a slight shake of his head. “Let it settle.”
Lance sighed and tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted. “I should go. Vero, do you have anything I should take with me?”
“Yeah. Couple boxes. Come on.” She went to her room and pointed at three boxes she would be able to live without for the next few weeks.
They carried boxes and loaded them into his car. He leaned against the side of his car and looked at his sister. “I knew she wouldn’t be happy about it. But I didn’t think she’d cry.”
Veronica crossed her arms. “Dude, you just told us that you’re moving to Boston for two years. That you’re leaving in like three weeks. Come on, she prayed the rosary once a day when Maya moved in with Luis and it took her a month before she stopped making passive aggressive comments to them about it. You know you’re her favorite, of course she’s upset. Then you went and added on the fact that you don’t plan on getting married. In Catholic-Mom terms, you basically just said you’re gonna live in sin for the rest of your life. However antiquated the notions, it’s what she believes.”
Lance felt a flurry of fear and frustration course through him. “In that case, wasn’t I already living in sin when I chose to be with Keith?” he spat. Veronica’s angry expression melted away. “What the fuck kind of belief is that?” He started pacing, angry enough that it turned into tears threatening to spill from his eyes which only made him angrier. “God. Marco had kids without being married. Luis and Maya lived together. You moved out before too. The world didn’t fucking end. Why am I getting all the backlash?”
“All the backlash?” Veronica grabbed him to stop his pacing. “Lance, you are not getting all the backlash. You think the rest of us didn’t get lectures? You can’t come here with the balls to make your own choices about your life then get upset when not everyone is happy with it! You know Mami. How are you surprised?” She scoffed and stepped away from him. “I’ll bet she’s calm and talking to you again within the next week, Lance. You’ll get over it.”
She walked back into the house, leaving Lance in shock. He felt guilty and confused and hurt. He went into the house a little after, still trying to keep himself together.
His dad was on the couch, watching the Discovery Channel. He offered Lance a smile when he came in.
“So you made your sister mad?”
Lance shrugged and sat beside him. “I don’t know why.” He frowned and arched an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you angry?”
Papá scoffed and shook his head. “I believe in God, and I like going to church. But after you came out to us and once I saw you with Keith more and more…. Well, it made me question some of the things I was taught. The Bible says what you have con el Chino is a sin. But I’ve seen it. What you have isn’t a sin; it’s undeniable love. I think there’s too many things in this world that concern God more than who you want to share a roof with and whether there’s a ring on your finger to do it.” He put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Tu mami has always had this idea of a perfect life for you and your siblings. This perfect order of things. But it’s not how life works. Y tu hermana, pues… I think she feels left out. After… what happened….” Papi scowled and clenched his jaw. “Creo que se siente sola.”
“I didn’t mean to upset them both,” Lance whispered.
“Just give them time. Take it from me.”
Lance scoffed as he nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna head out then. I might need your truck to bring Luis some of the furniture, so can I call you when I want to bring it?” His dad nodded and hugged him tightly. Lance went to knock on his mother’s door. “Mamita? I’m leaving. I’ll send a text when I’m there, okay?” He pressed his ear against the door. He could hear her praying, and he knew he wouldn’t get an answer. “Te quiero, Mami.” He pulled away from her door to Vero’s. “Bye, chaparra. Love you.”
He turned away and went to his car. He only got as far as the gas station down the block before he had to pull over and let the emotions free. He felt his body shake as he leaned against the steering wheel.
It was frustrating the way he needed approval for the things he did. He wanted to go with Keith. It was his choice. But it still hurt to know the choice upset his mom. And maybe it was in addition to all the other things, but… he was happy. That was enough. Why couldn’t that be enough?
---
When he got back to Keith’s, he took the boxes inside and made sure to label them with Vero’s name. Keith had just gotten out of the shower when Lance got there, and he seemed to see right through the weak facade Lance put up.
“Your parents didn’t take it well, huh?” he asked softly once Lance took a seat on the couch. He stood in front of him, and Lance rested his forehead against Keith’s stomach. While he tried to sort through the information, he felt Keith’s fingers gently scratching his head.
“My dad actually did.”
“Huh,” Keith said with a lilt of surprise.
“Yeah.” Lance laughed softly before looking up at Keith. “My mom didn’t. Then Vero got mad at me for some reason. It’s all stemming from religion. This idea that there’s an order to things.”
“And maybe the fact that you’ll be so far away?” Keith suggested. Lance furrowed his eyebrows and nodded as Keith cupped his face. “You don’t have to go. I know what family means to you-”
“I want to, Keith. I want to go with you. I love my family, and it’ll suck being so far away for so long, but it’s not like I’m cutting them off.” He wrapped his arms around Keith and buried his face in his torso. “I’m with you.”
“Okay.” Keith sat beside him and kissed him softly. “It’ll blow over, love. Knowing your mom, she’s not gonna spend what little time we’re still here being upset with you.”
Lance frowned. “Huh. That’s… pretty close to what Vero said.” Keith arched an eyebrow. “Yeah she said… something about my mom being upset because I’m the favorite and that she’d get over it before the week is out.”
“Oh.” Keith bit his lip and thought to himself for a moment. “That sounds like a little bit of jealousy, maybe. And considering how protective she is about you, I think she’ll get over it too.” He shrugged. “I used to get mad at Shiro over the same things. It felt like our parents were always easier on him and I assumed it was because he was their ‘real’ kid. Maybe Vero thinks your parents are easier on you because you’re the youngest?”
He thought about that for a moment. Looking back, it was no secret that there was a difference in how they were each treated. Marco because he was the oldest, Vero because she was a girl, and Lance because he was the youngest. Luis struggled more with getting compared to either Marco or Lance.
Vero hadn’t spoken much at the table, and she was usually vocal when their parents argued. It made Lance wonder what she’d been thinking the whole time.
“Maybe….” He rubbed his face in exhaustion and leaned into Keith. “I’m exhausted. Tell me about your day? How was work?”
“It was good. Very busy. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be sore tomorrow with how many times we ran the routine.” Lance cuddled in closer as he listened to Keith talk about the dancers. He listened to him complain about one of his coworkers who spent more time flirting than dancing.
There was some comfort in just listening. In feeling his arms around him. There was comfort in knowing there was no longer a timer for them. He would still have this for the years to come.
---
Sure enough, within the next week while Keith helped him pack, his parents went to visit him.
He felt a wave of relief course through him the second he saw them at his door. He opened it to let them in and hugged them. Mami’s hug was tight and strong, like it was its own apology.
“Why didn’t you guys call me to let me know you were coming?” Lance asked as he greeted his dad. He ushered them inside and smiled as they greeted Keith- Mami with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and Papi with a hug and a pat on the back.
“We did; you didn’t answer,” Mami said. “He’s got you packing?”
Keith smiled and shrugged. “Sort of. I pack then he unpacks and repacks.” Mami laughed and nodded, and Lance didn’t really feel up for defending his packing methods. “I’ll take these boxes back to the house. Give you guys space to talk,” Keith said.
“Can I follow you? Veronica sent some more stuff with me that she wants to store here,” his dad asked.
Keith nodded and grabbed his keys. He kissed Mami’s cheek then placed a chaste kiss on Lance’s lips. “I love you.”
“Te amo,” Lance whispered. “I’ll text you.” Keith nodded then left the apartment with Papá right behind him. Lance turned back to his mom and watched her carefully. “So.... Here to lecture me more?”
“Ay,” she said with a smack of her lips. “What do you want from me, m’ijo? You-”
“Support. I want support, Ma,” Lance said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “I’m excited about moving. And you made me feel like… I don’t know, like I was doing something horrible.”
“I can give you support,” she said. “But Lance….” She stepped toward him and cradled his face in her hands. “But what am I going to do with you so far away? Como me despido de mi bebé?”
“It isn’t goodbye,” Lance assured.
“I know,” she said softly. She took his hands in hers. “You told me so much in such a short amount of time. I didn’t know what to say. You’re leaving, and soon. Y ni voy a empezar con eso de que no te vas a casar-”
“Mamá, porfavor-”
“I know, I know,” she said with a shake of her head. “Pero mira, God has a plan and it’s not always ours.”
“ Mom.” He didn’t want to open up a whole new argument. “Mira, Mami.” He held her hands tightly and reminded himself not to get defensive. “I love Keith. I don’t know about marriage, but I know I want to plan a future with him. That starts by being with him in Boston. And I don’t need the lectures about the way the church wants you to do things, Mami, I grew up on that.”
“I gave all of your siblings lectures,” she said. “But… in the end they did what they felt they needed to do. And your papi and I were there for them all when they needed us.” She smiled at him and reached up to tousle his hair. “Like we will do for you. You know you can count on us for anything. You and Keith.” She pulled him close and hugged him tightly. “I was raised differently, and it’s hard to change that.” She pulled away with a frown. “But you know… I won’t change the rule of my home. It wouldn’t be fair to your siblings. Keith still won’t be able to come inside, even if you two do live together.”
“Yes, I know, Mami. He understands your rule. And I’m not asking you to change it.” He ran his hand through his hair and moved to sit on the couch.
She followed him and sat down, letting the silence settle for a bit. “It’s hard to think all of you are grown up. And I know you have your own lives to make.” She smiled through her teary eyes and took a slow breath, releasing it on a shaky exhale. “It’s gonna be cold up there. We should get you sweaters.”
Lance couldn’t help it; he burst out in laughter. Loud, unreserved, surprised laughter. Because through it all, through a generational gap and past religious beliefs, at her core… Mami was still his mom. And her concerns still boiled down to being sure he’d stay warm.
He texted Keith, and he returned shortly after with his papá just a couple seconds behind him. Lance helped his parents load the furniture he was going to give Luis on his dad’s truck.
As the day went on, the space became bare and it began to really register for Lance that he was leaving. There were still some things he needed to pack or throw out, and he still needed to give the space a quick clean, but…. The space he’d lived in for the last nearly three years had been stripped down.
“I was thinking we could have a cookout at my house,” Keith said. “Kind of a mix of things. A birthday party, a going away party for us, and a housewarming welcome thing for Veronica.” Keith looked at Lance’s parents and added, “If you don’t mind the drive?”
“That’s a great idea,” Papá said. “Just tell us when. We’ll probably be doing a bit of back and forth anyway.”
“We should get going. Veronica is going to want dinner after work,” Mami said. She looked around the apartment fleetingly then walked up to Lance. “Call us if you need anything, okay?” She brought him into a hug, and Lance leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder.
“I will. Te quiero, Ma.”
“Y yo a ti, mi tesoro.” She pulled away and gave him la bendición before turning to Keith. “Y tu, mi chinito, come here.” She pulled Keith into a hug and pulled back to cup his face. “You know you have us if you two ever need us.” She plucked some lint from his shirt and smoothed out the fabric, smiling at him. “May I?” She lifted her hand with her thumb and forefinger forming a small cross.
Keith nodded and shut his eyes as Mami gave him la bendición. He opened his eyes and smiled. “Thank you.”
“We’ll walk with you guys. Don’t forget to stop at Luis’ first, Pa.”
“Si, si, ya se,” he muttered.
They left the apartment and Lance locked it behind him. He could sleep there still, but he didn’t like the way the empty walls made him feel. The way the space began to echo like it did when he first moved in. He much preferred to be surrounded in Keith and Alexa’s sarcastic comments as they watched another movie on the television.
He said goodbye to his parents yet again, then continued to wave as they drove away from the lot. Keith took his hand and laughed softly.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way you and your family say goodbye so many times before actually parting ways.”
“The first couple goodbyes are just a heads up to the final one,” Lance said with a playful smile. “I’m tired. Can we get fast food and head to your place? I could cash in some cuddles from Kosmo.”
Keith laughed and nodded, wrapping an arm around Lance and hooking his fingers in the belt loops of his jeans as they walked toward the car.
---
Music played on the speakers. The smell of charcoal wafted through the air. The voices of his parents, his siblings, his friends all overlapped.
They would leave the following day. Keith had his last shift at the dance studio the week before, and Lance would be able to work remotely for another week before his boss found a replacement. He’d turned in his apartment keys that very morning.
The whole thing was equal parts terrifying and exciting.
“Dude, you gotta video call all the time, okay? You are not allowed to replace us,” Pidge said. She’d been teary eyed since she arrived with Hunk, and everytime she started to cry, she’d go inside the house, then come back when she felt she had a grip on herself.
“As if we’d ever let you,” Hunk said. “But please send pictures. I want to see the snow in the winter.”
“Keith! Kosmo took a shit right next to the food table!” Shiro yelled from the other side of the yard. Lance laughed as Keith groaned and excused himself.
He turned back to his friends and smiled sadly. “You guys know I could never replace you guys. It’s a long ass drive, but I do plan to come back for holidays.” Pidge’s nose turned bright red, a telltale sign of the tears that would follow. “Hey, come on, it’s supposed to be a celebration.”
“I know, I know,” Pidge said with a sniff. “I’m fine. So have things smoothed over with Vero?”
“Yeah, I think. She’s happier now that she’s got her stuff moved in, and Alexa said she would help her set the room up once we leave tomorrow. I just hope that those two being roommates doesn’t lead to them hating each other again.”
“They do say you shouldn’t room with friends,” Hunk said. “I know we roomed together, but we also practically grew up together.”
“They’ll be fine. Alexa is a take no bullshit kind of person, and Vero is pretty straightforward too. If they have issues, they won’t dance around them,” Pidge said.
Lance just shrugged. Whatever happened, he just hoped Veronica knew she could turn to her brothers.
Hunk and Pidge walked over to the food to serve themselves, and Lance lagged behind them.
The backyard looked so busy with both his and Keith's families there. Nadia and Sylvio were playing with Kosmo, the moms were talking by one table, his siblings were crowding around Shiro and Adam at the grill, and Alexa and Vero were sitting at a table with Maya who kept running a hand over the tiny bump of her stomach.
This was his little world. It did hurt to think he would leave it and have to figure out how to make a strange place comfortable, but when he caught sight of Keith talking to Papá with a wide smile before bursting into laughter, he remembered that wherever he was he'd still have a piece of home.
There would be comfort in having Keith at his side in a new place.
Lance smiled and walked over to him, taking his hand when it was within reach. "What's so funny?"
"Your dad was just giving some more pointers on my Spanish," Keith said with a wince. "I've still got a ways to go. I've been mistaking pear and dog."
"You pick it up fast," Papá assured. "Con que me entiendas a mi, I can understand you." Keith nodded with a smile. "I should keep your mother away from the beer before she makes herself sleepy and sentimental," he said, eyes on Mami.
He hurried over to her and wrapped his arms around her.
"I like how you can tell they're still in love," Keith said, a smile lingering on his lips. "He's softer when he talks about her. And they're very casual about affection."
"Mami always said part of being in love was to show it every day. That a relationship wasn't something you just stopped working on. It's forever." He arched an eyebrow and tilted Keith's head to face him. "You know what's weird to think?" Keith hummed in question. "By this time tomorrow we're gonna be in our new apartment."
"Oh yeah. No wifi, no cable, no bed-"
Lance groaned and laughed, playfully pinching Keith's arm.
"I'm glad you wanted to come with me," Keith admitted a little more solemnly. "The more I think about it, the more I wonder how I planned on managing entirely on my own again without having a breakdown." He frowned, and Lance could see the way the tension began to tighten his muscles, making his posture rigid. "Ever since what happened at the bookstore, it just feels like I'm-"
"Hey," Lance interrupted gently. He put a hand on Keith's cheek and smiled. "The thing with family is that their love is still there even with miles between. And maybe being away for a while can bring back some peace of mind." Keith nodded and let out a soft sigh before leaning his head on Lance's shoulder. "I love you," Lance reminded him.
"Te amo…."
“Cuanto?”
The question made Keith grimace through a smile as he bit his lip. “Mm. Más que las est-es-” He laughed and buried his face in Lance’s shoulder. “The r’s are hard!”
“Estrellas,” Lance said slowly, encouraging him with a squeeze at his hips, biting back his own laughter. “Come on, cuanto me amas?”
Keith groaned and lifted his head. His cheeks were bright red and he was still wincing at his own pronunciation. Lance rewarded his efforts with a kiss on his cheek, humming curiously so he’d answer the question. It only made Keith laugh, and Lance kissed his other cheek.
“How much?” Lance insisted through laughter.
“Ugh, más que las estrall- estrellas en el… cielo. There, I said it!”
His tongue still stumbled over the “r” but the rest of the pronunciation was nearly flawless. Lance grinned widely and kissed him firmly on the lips. “I feel so loved.”
“Mhm, shut up,” Keith responded against his lips, smiling all the while.
The rest of the party was a mix of raucous laughter and dancing as well as eating cake- which was half destroyed by Marco shoving Lance’s face into it.
At one point, Alexa gathered the McClain family around a canvas she’d brought out along with a bag of acrylic paints.
“What’s this for?” Luis asked.
“Everyone choose a color. I’ve got tons,” she said. She emptied her bag and the bottles covered in dried, smeared paint rolled along the grass.
Despite their confusion, Lance and his family members chose a color and waited to see what Alexa would tell them to do next.
“Okay, now everyone coat one hand in your paint. But don’t touch the canvas, I gotta position you.”
“What’s this for?” Luis asked again.
“I’ll explain in a bit,” she said.
Everyone who wasn’t playing with paint watched in amused confusion. Then Alexa had them line up and helped them each press their hands against the spot she needed them on the canvas. Mami and Papi were last, their handprints in the very center. Alexa thanked them then took the canvas inside.
“What gives?” Marco asked.
“What do we do with our hands?” Lance mumbled.
Keith chuckled and gestured them over to the water spout so they could rinse off their hands. By the time everyone had gotten the paint off, Alexa had come back, only she’d brought out another, smaller canvas.
“Okay. Because you guys already saw it and it’s still slightly drying,” she said as she turned the canvas toward them, “I’ll give this one first.”
Underneath the handprints, in smooth font, were the words, No matter the distance, yours are always the hands I want to hold. Each handprint had their names written under it in tiny letters. She held it out to Veronica.
“A housewarming gift. For your new room.” Veronica stepped forward and took it slowly, skimming her eyes over it. “Don’t make it weird,” Alexa said with a groan. Then she turned to Lance. “Now you. This was commissioned by your siblings. And I swear to God if you start crying….”
“What!” Lance was only slightly offended, but his family just chuckled, and even Keith dared to snort beside him.
Alexa rolled her eyes and handed over the smaller canvas, wrapped in brown paper.
When he ripped the paper off, Lance saw a delicately painted portrait of his family looking back at him. All of them squeezed together. His parents were on either side, his siblings between them, the kids piled on top of Marco’s with goofy faces, and Maya beside Luis.
“O-oh…. Alexa, this is gorgeous….”
“There’s no way you were gonna manage in Boston without seeing us for so long,” Veronica said with a smirk. “So now you’ve got all of us. And it’s a little more personal than a photo. For whenever you miss us or we can’t video call, you know?”
Sure enough, Lance felt tears fill his eyes. He wanted to hug every single one of his family members and never let go. “Oh, crap,” he muttered, hiding his face. Of course, everyone who knew him laughed at the expected response.
While their little party raged on, one that would no doubt go until the early hours of the morning, Lance pulled Veronica aside. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into a hug and held her tightly.
She hugged him back with a strength that squeezed the breath out of his lungs. But he didn't mind it.
There was some dancing, and since Lance knew it would be a while before it happened again, he tried his best not to be too self-conscious and simply enjoy the music. Of course Keith had long since gotten the hang of the dances, and he had Maya, Vero, Alexa, Nadia, and Mami twirling around the yard like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Keith's parents left first. Karina had work, and his foster parents were just tired. After saying goodbye to Keith, Karina pulled Lance aside.
"I don't have to tell you to be good to him, right?" Lance smiled and shook his head. "I know Keith can take care of himself, but… watch out for each other, okay?"
"You got it," he promised. "We'll take care of each other."
She nodded and hugged him tightly. "I'm so happy he has you," she said softly. "Have a safe trip." She gave him a small smile then turned to leave.
Aiko and Makoto left shortly after her. After Keith's mom fussed over him a bit, she'd hugged them both and smiled tearfully at them before wishing them safe travels. His foster dad reminded them both that if they needed anything, they only had to call.
While it wasn't close to dawn, it was still pretty late when Lance's family started leaving.
Keith stayed by his side through the goodbyes. The entire time, Lance was shoving down panic and sadness. He'd lived away from home for four years, but knowing he wouldn't be a quick drive away made him nervous. His mind got ahead of him and conjured up every possible bad scenario so that it was hard to let go after each hug.
Nadia and Sylvio had been asleep, but Marco woke them so they could say goodbye. They cried which made Lance cry. When Luis and Maya went up to him, Lance asked permission to touch Maya's belly. He pressed his hand against the little bump for a moment before hugging Maya. He promised to return when the baby was born, whatever it took.
Then it was his parents' turn. He hugged them both and fought his own tears for the sake of the ones already falling down his mom's cheeks.
"Be very careful up there. Both of you. Call us, please. No todos los días, pero at least every week, okay?" She kissed Lance's cheek then Keith's. "I hope that school goes well for you, querido," she told Keith. "And I hope that you can make a comfortable home there, even if it's temporary." Her brows furrowed as more tears fell. "It is temporary, isn't it?"
"Yes," Keith assured. "We're going to be back."
"Ya, mi amor. No los presiones," Papá said softly. He looked at them both and smiled sadly. "If you boys ever need anything, let us know. Call us when you get there. I know Cari won't sleep until she knows you've landed."
"I'll update throughout the airport," Lance promised.
"Puedo darles la bendición?"
Keith nodded, and Lance was already bowing his head slightly. She moved her hand in the form of a cross in the space between them both before giving each one their own blessing individually.
"Te quiero mucho, mi niño. Be careful." She pulled away to say goodbye to Veronica, and maybe so that Lance wouldn't see her cry more.
Papá smiled at them and followed her.
After they left, it was only Shiro, Adam, Hunk, Pidge, and the new inhabitants of the house- Veronica and Alexa.
Hunk and Pidge wanted to be the ones to drive them to the airport, so they were going to stay until then. They had about four hours until they needed to leave for the airport anyway.
Alexa had an evening shift and wanted to sleep, so she said her goodbyes and promised Keith she wouldn't burn the house down before giving them both a quick hug and going inside. Veronica stayed, but she looked sleepy too.
By the time Shiro and Adam said they needed to leave, Lance had a slight headache from lack of sleep. Still he didn't want to sleep and miss any time with his friends. Shiro and Adam spoke to Keith privately for a bit, during which Hunk started demanding selfies with Lance and Pidge.
At first they were serious and sweet, but it wasn’t long before they were using Pidge’s hair as a moustache or making stupid faces that had them laughing until their stomachs hurt. Granted, it was also possible that about 70% of the laughter came from lack of sleep.
While they were looking for a photo of their younger selves to recreate, Shiro and Adam walked over to say goodbye. Lance already had a feeling that Shiro would pull him aside, but he still got a little nervous when Shiro actually did it.
“Lemme guess. Be careful, be good to Keith, and bring him back in one piece?”
Shiro smiled and rolled his eyes. “I already know you’ll do all that. Actually, I wanted to see if you were doing alright. I know you chose to go with him kind of suddenly.”
“Oh. No, I’m okay. A little sad about not being able to see my family as easily, but I feel really good about this.”
Shiro nodded and smiled at him. “I’m glad he has you, Lance. I’ve never seen Keith as happy as he is now. And his relationship with all of his parents, with me and Adam…. I mean we were good before he met you, but it’s like… you made him unafraid.”
“Unafraid?” Lance wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Keith had always come off as someone who was unafraid. As someone who was steadfast in who he was.
But Shiro just laughed softly and shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. I think maybe… he still expected them to give up on him. He always had his guard up. I don’t want to say that he’s softer now, but it’s….”
“Oh. Oh. I get what you mean,” Lance said. He smiled to himself and looked at Keith who was now the subject of many selfies with Hunk, Pidge, and Kosmo. “Yeah. Well… he’s helped me as much as I’ve helped him.”
“You really love him.” It wasn’t a question. Just a statement. An observation.
Still, Lance nodded and said, “I do. More than you can fathom.”
Shiro broke into a wide smile and pulled Lance in for a hug. “Good. I hope Boston’s good to you guys. We’ll head up there next week to drop Kosmo off.”
He pulled away and they walked over to where Keith was hugging Kosmo. “-promise, okay? I love you; I’ll see you soon.” Keith buried his face in Kosmo’s fur, though Kosmo didn’t seem to grasp what was happening. Keith looked up at Adam as he clipped the leash onto the collar. “You’ll drive up as soon as possible, right?”
“Yes,” Adam said with some amusement. “It’s a long drive, so we’re gonna wait until Shiro’s days off next week, but you’ll be reunited before you know it.”
Keith sighed and gave Kosmo’s head a kiss. “Be good, boy. I promise I won’t be gone long.”
Lance reached over to pet Kosmo before Adam tugged the leash gently and Kosmo trotted after them. When he realized they were taking him out of the backyard, Kosmo started looking back, head tilted curiously when neither Lance nor Keith followed. He barked, but followed obediently.
The damage had been done. Keith was hiding his face in Lance’s shoulder, groaning. “My puppy,” he said with a sniff.
When Lance moved him to look at his face, his nose was red, but he wasn’t quite crying. “I know, mi amor. Come on, we’ve got about an hour before we have to head out.” Lance hugged him tightly and they waddled slowly back to the chairs with the others.
Finally, after a few quiet moments and watching the stars move slowly across the sky, Keith and Lance got up to grab the small luggage they would take with them to hold them off until Keith’s car and the moving van with all their things arrived in Boston. They loaded it in the back of Hunk’s car and after another goodbye for Veronica, they headed for the airport.
The process of getting their tickets and checking their luggage in was simple enough, but the size of the airport felt a little intimidating. He gripped Keith’s hand and couldn’t help but think of how lonely it would’ve been for Keith to go alone.
Hunk and Pidge couldn’t go any further, so Lance had to begin his final goodbye. They were both crying, and it really wasn’t fair because it just resulted in Lance crying. He hugged them goodbye, then they each clung to Keith. Hunk took Pidge’s hand when they finally pulled away and walked through a set of sliding doors. Lance kept looking back and waving until they were out of sight.
Then he turned to Keith, wrapping an arm around his waist. “This is really happening,” he said. “You’re starting grad school. We’re moving in together. We’re going to a new city.”
“It’s happening,” Keith confirmed. “I don’t know about you, but I plan to sleep the entire plane ride. I’m exhausted.” Lance laughed and nodded in agreement.
It was nearly one in the afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Keith sprinkled water on his face to wake him up, and when Lance opened his eyes, the cabin only had a handful of people still grabbing their carry on and shuffling off. He yawned and turned to curl into Keith.
“I’m tired.”
“Me too,” he said, his hand immediately sifting through his hair. “Come on. Let’s get our luggage and get a taxi. I think the apartment is about twenty minutes from here. We can catch up on sleep when we get there.”
Lance stood up and followed him, still drowsy as Keith led them through the airport to baggage claim and finally out of the airport. It was colder, and Lance immediately huddled closer to Keith.
The taxi ride gave them a moment to watch the scenery. Lance couldn’t help but take note of anywhere that looked like a food place. He felt Keith grab his hand tightly, and when he turned to look at him, Keith’s cheeks were bright red.
“I’m nervous all of a sudden,” he said in a quiet voice. He kept his gaze down, and Lance squeezed his hand. “What if I screw up? What if it takes me more than two years? What if-”
“Keith. Mi vida. We just got here. We can’t imagine it all going up in flames already.” He scooted closer and pulled Keith’s hand to his lap. “Listen. You got accepted for a reason. No matter how long it takes, you’re gonna finish and get a master’s and you’re gonna start changing people’s lives. And I’m gonna be here supporting you the whole time.” Lance kissed his knuckles and smiled. “Let’s take it step by step, yeah?”
Keith breathed out slowly through his mouth, calming himself down. “Yeah. Yeah, one step at a time. Besides I’ve got another three weeks before classes start.”
“Exactly. This is what we’re gonna do: we’re gonna order some food, catch up on sleep, then maybe groceries tomorrow. Once our stuff gets here, we’ll worry about that. In the meantime, you make sure your school stuff is in order and I’ll look for jobs. It’s gonna be great, okay?”
Keith nodded, and this time his eyes did seem calmer. He squeezed Lance’s hand and leaned back against the car seat. “I love you,” he whispered.
Lance kissed his cheek. “Te amo.”
--
The apartment smelled new. Like it’d been recently repainted. It had hardwood floors and nice black appliances. A small living room that faced the kitchen and a small patio. There was a hallway by the living room which led to the bedroom and the bedroom led to the bathroom. Lance set his luggage down in the empty room.
“Hey pretty boy,” Keith said as Lance walked back to the living room. He took his hands and smiled. “We’re home.”
The words made a wide smile spread on Lance’s face. He pulled Keith into a kiss and tried to let it sink in. It was all real. They were there. And maybe everything was empty and they’d have to eat and sleep on the floor, but it was their space. Their apartment. Their things would arrive, and they would argue about where to hang up what posters and how to split the bathroom cabinet and whether their half of the closet was equal and… and it would be wonderful.
“Sleep or food?”
Lance considered it for a second. “Food. The plane stuff didn’t fill me up, so I’m already starving again.”
Keith nodded and pulled out his phone. They figured out what was nearby and ordered for it to get delivered. While they waited, they unpacked the main essentials from their suitcases.
Clearly, Keith had been more prepared; he had a couple of blankets in his suitcase which he laid out in a corner of the room. Meanwhile Lance set out his toothbrush and face wash by the sink. Together, they started hanging stuff up in the closet. It helped the space feel a little more their own. Once Lance had most of the clothes he’d packed on hangers or folded for easy access along the shelf, it made the apartment feel a little more like his.
Seeing his things besides Keith’s also did something to his heart.
Just as they were finishing up, there was a knock at the door. Both he and Keith jumped, and a command was on Keith’s tongue before he remembered Kosmo wasn’t there at the moment. Lance’s heart sank a little too at the lack of the excited barks.
Keith got up to answer the door and Lance trailed behind him. They ate on the patio, leaning against the rail together.
“Thanks for coming with me,” Keith said softly when they were nearly finished eating. “I know I keep thanking you, but I just…. I can’t help but think about what it’d be like to be here by myself. Without Kosmo, without you. I’m relieved you came with me. It feels like this place can be home with you here.”
Lance’s heart fluttered, and he shifted to sit in front of Keith. “It’ll feel more like home once our stuff is on the walls and in the drawers. Once Kosmo’s fur is all over the place. Once we live in it a little.”
Keith smiled and nodded in agreement. “And I have an idea for how to start.” He stood up and pulled Lance with him. He led him back inside and shut the blinds of the patio door so the sunlight barely filtered in through the slits. Keith pulled Lance in and put one hand at his torso while he took the other in his own and pressed them close to his heart.
“Oh no,” Lance said, a smile already on his lips, mirroring Keith’s.
“Uh-huh,” Keith said. He began to hum a gentle tune, familiar and slow. It was an old song that Lance had fallen in love with after reading a poem that referenced it. It was the song Keith always played or hummed to help him relax after a long day.
Lance kept his eyes on him as they began to slow dance in the empty living room. He could feel every beat of Keith’s heart under his knuckles as he started singing in a whisper, “ Hold me close and hold me fast… the magic spell you cast… this is la vie en rose….”
It made Lance smile like a lunatic. He pressed his forehead against Keith’s, humming the rhythm while he whispered the words. It was a short song, comprised more of their lazy humming than the words. Slowly, it faded out and gave way to a kiss that soothed every exhausted and jetlagged muscle in Lance’s body.
“Welcome home, mi amor,” Lance said softly.
“I think I’ve been home for a while, now that I think about it.” Lance blushed at that, which made Keith smile his little nose-scrunched smile. “Come on. Let’s get some rest.”
Keith pulled him to the bedroom. After they changed into something more comfortable, they laid on the blankets, cuddled together. While the floor wasn’t the most comfortable, they were both exhausted enough to fall asleep almost immediately.