Chapter Text
Leo Valdez invites kingofnewyork, itssuperman, barnacleboy, galaxybrain, givemeyourbones, sadiethegreat, and 13 others to the chat.
Leo Valdez has changed their name to badboysupreme
badboysupreme: welcome to the chaos
Several people are typing…
galaxybrain: leo what is the purpose of this???
givemeyourbones: we don’t need another group chat
givemeyourbones: im already in like 5
givemeyourbones: against my will, i might add
kingofnewyork: amature, im in at least 10
barnacleboy: awww, nico! i thought you loved us!
givemeyourbones: debatable
barnacleboy: :[
barnacleboy: im wounded
galaxybrain: im pretty sure you’re fine
givemeyourbones: also how did you even get my contact info
givemeyourbones: i definitely didnt give it to you
badboysupreme: blame jason
itssuperman: sorry nico
sadiethegreat: not that this isnt entertaining...
sadiethegreat: but why am i here
sadiethegreat: i recognize @galaxybrain (nice new name btw) but who are the rest of y’all
badboysupreme: i thought it would be cool to invite as many people possible from that meet up we had
badboysupreme: (because wow, you guys were fun!)
badboysupreme: you gave me your number sadie, but sadly none of your friends did, and so did alex
badboysupreme: speaking of, @coolguysdontlookatexplosions , where you at?
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: hello peasants
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: thank you leo, for an excellent opportunity, i vibe with this chaos
theVibeChecker: alex did you rope us into this?
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: welcome to the chaos @Maggie, @mr.president, @merida, @theROCK, @magicman, @fashionman
Maggie: ALEX PLEASE STOP CHANGING MY NAME
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: :) :) :)
merida: ill fix it
sadiethegreat is typing....
Maggie: NO!
merida has changed Maggie ’s name to rapunzel
rapunzel: yeah… that’s worse
rapunzel has changed their name to moralsupport
mr.president: i hate to say it magnus, but youre … not very good at that
moralsupport: tru, but i AM good at yelling at you to not die
moralsupport: and sometimes it even works! and then i get to heal your asses before you go off to get yourself killed again!
theROCK: when you put it like that, it does make sense
doctorman: @moralsupport are you also a healer?
moralsupport: yes. i cannot fight well, so i make sure everyone else doesnt die
doctorman: i feel you, i also have to wrangle idiots on a regular business
givemeyourbones: i resent that remark
doctorman: then STOP DOING STUPID THINGS
barnacleboy: ha!
doctorman: this applies to you too, percy. annabeth will vouch for me
barnacleboy: ok fine, i do make less than sensible decisions sometimes, thats fair
kingofnewyork: if you and jason will stop challenging each other to duels maybe we wouldn’t have this problem
galaxybrain: i second that motion
barnacleboy: why do you wound me so???
galaxybrain: if you and thalia could stop that too, that’d be great
barnacleboy: yeah no
ispeakforthetrees: yeah annie, thats not gonna happen
barnacleboy: backup!!!
itssuperman: thalia!
itssuperman: when did you get here?!?
ispeakforthetrees: ive been lurking
ispeakforthetrees: valdez ur on thin ice
ispeakforthetrees: ive only decided to spare you my wrath bc i get to see this chaos
badboysupreme: yeah thats fair, youre a busy woman
reyna: we are all busy
badboysupreme: well you are both doing important administrativey things, frank too but he wont mind as much, so im just gonna apologize for causing chaos in your life at this trying time
frank: yeah Leo, it’s cool
reyna: dont be absurd, this is an entertaining break from logistics of cross-camp exchange programs, so thank you
badboysupreme: wow…. i’m moved
Islandgetaway: can confirm, im right next to him
barnacleboy: calypso! where have you been!
Islandgetaway: here the whole time, just been looking over leo’s shoulder
barnacleboy: so is that everyone? I think that’s everyone but hazel
frank: yeah hazel’s with arion. somewhere in the wilds of america
sadiethegreat: what i am about to do, i do with no regret
sadiethegreat: i had a big speech but it has since disappeared :(
sadiethegreat: @coolguysdontlookatexplosions thank you for the idea, i look forward to causing chaos with you
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: same, i feel this will be better than the camel
sadiethegreat: ooh yeah
givemeyourbones: we do not talk about the camel incident
mr.president: I really doubt we can control them
givemeyourbones: i can certainly try
sadiethegreat: k, here goes
sadiethegreat added carter, Ms. Fahrenheit, anotheronebitesthedust, and 3 others to the chat
sadiethegreat: suffer
callthemedic: Sadie. What is this?
goldmine: uh oh actual punctuation
barnacleboy: hazel you typed like this until like 2 months ago
goldmine: i don’t see how that’s relevant to sadie’s impending demise
anotheronebitesthedust: that’s accurate
badboysupreme: hazel your name game is … not great today
goldmine: alright fine
goldmine changed their name to thatonehorsegirl
thatonehorsegirl: better?
badboysupreme: hmm, adequate
callthemedic: i demand answers sadie
sadiethegreat: ITS A FUN CHAOTIC GROUP CHAT WHERE WE CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GODS MESSING UP OUR LIVES!
sadiethegreat: the rest is just straight up vibing
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: sure, but im just vibing
sadiethegreat: what, oh yeah, same tbh
sadiethegreat: just viBIng
carter: sadie your puns are terrible
badboysupreme: how dare you say something like that
badboysupreme: i think they’re great
sadiethegreat: yeah!!! ur my brother now
badboysupreme: sweet
callthemedic: aight, im out
callthemedic has left the chat
carter: me too
carter has left the chat
sadiethegreat: NO MERCY FOR YOU
sadiethegreat has added carter to the chat
sadiethegreat: jaz can only leave bc shes the medic and also I value my life too much to force her to deal with this
sadiethegreat: you dont have this excuse
sadiethegreat: i guess @doctorman and @moralsupport could leave too if they wanted
doctorman: why would i leave? this is free entertainment
moralsupport: i thrive on chaos
mr.president: you said that tuesday during free-for-all and immediately died
Ms.Fahrenheit: i really hope that was a metaphor
theVibeChecker: nope
theVibeChecker: welcome to hotel valhalla
anotheronebitesthedust: i keep forgetting most of you are dead, that’s why that meet up felt a bit off
givemeyourbones: ha same
givemeyourbones: the weird vibe has been explained
sadiethegreat: I refuse to believe either of you forgot about that
givemeyourbones: and you will never know the truth
givemeyourbones: oh hey, @anotheronebitesthedust did you know about that beforehand?
anotheronebitesthedust: yeah, vaguely
givemeyourbones: i accidentally shadowtraveled to muspelheim in the early days
givemeyourbones: that was a Not Fun way to find out
itssuperman: oh hey @moralsupport we should have a rematch sometime, since you pretty much threw it last time
moralsupport: you underestimate how bad i am at fighting, i was actually trying there
carter: if im stuck here
sadiethegreat: you are
carter: ive been thinking, and have made some decisions
givemeyourbones: anyone else suddenly apprehensive
galaxybrain: relax, it’s carter, it’ll be fine. probably
carter: im honored by your faith
carter changed the chat name to “please solve your own problems”
carter changed their name to thefalcon
barnacleboy: hmm
theonehorsegirl: ah, so im not the only one with bad name skills
thefalcon: what how does it not make sense
sadiethegreat: i hate to admit it but hes right
sadiethegreat: you just probably dont have the right context
sadiethegreat: ah the good old days when i could be a bird
fashionman: im sorry what
galaxybrain: ok carter’s statement makes sense but that does not
Ms.Fahrenheit: because they were the hosts of Horus and Isis they could turn into their sacred animals, a falcon and a kite respectively
thefalcon: ah the good old days when I could be a 30 foot tall power ranger
sadiethegreat: technically you still can, ur just a coward
thefalcon: the gods have gone back to the heavens, we can’t be hosts. use their powers sure, but not like we used to
sadiethegreat: yeah im just hearing that ur a coward
sadiethegreat: i for one, do it all the time
thefalcon: sadie that’s illegal
sadiethegreat: uh huh, says who?
sadiethegreat: you literally MAKE THE LAW
sadiethegreat: YOU CAN CHANGE IT IF YOU DONT VIBE WITH IT
ispeakforthetrees: OOH @doctorman we may need some assistance
moralsupport: all our lives are so vastly different and so similar in the exact same ways
kingofnewyork: you speak the truth
barnacleboy: has your life been affected by gods? life changing quests? prophecies bearing the possibility of imminent destruction of all civilization? if so, you may be entitled to compensation! Call this toll free number now!
galaxybrain: percy you’re a comedic genius
Islandgetaway: I’m definitely missing something
kingofnewyork: on tv there’s a lot of ads about being injured of made ill by working conditions or products, and sometimes there’s court cases about it and people who were affected get money
Islandgetaway: oh right, tv is that box where all the tiny people live,
moralsupport: do you not know how the tv works?
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: well maggie, i don’t on the best of days. click button, see cartoon, presto changeo
moralsupport: yes but the modern century is confusing for time-displaced persons
givemeyourbones: hmm, @Islandgetaway and @thatonehorsegirl we should start a club
thatonehorsegirl: ooh sounds fun!
Islandgetaway: yeah sure
Islandgetaway: no i do know how the tv works, that was a joke
Islandgetaway: mostly
Islandgetaway: ive gotten several speedruns through history to catch up, its very entertaining
kingofnewyork: why are all of us… so funny, all the time
givemeyourbones: everything’s funny when you’re sleep deprived
kingofnewyork: ah very true
itssuperman: i believe it’s the desire to have fulfilling lives when there’s the possibility of dying young, at least for demigods
barnacleboy: if you bring things called “logic” and “common sense” into this here chat i will find a way to kick you out
reyna: yeah jason, didn’t you know better than this
itssuperman: reyna why are you and percy ganging up on me
kingofnewyork: would you like another outside opinion
itssuperman: yes please piper
kingofnewyork: they are Correct
badboysupreme: oh hey, speaking of kicking people *cough* jason *cough* out
badboysupreme: which, will not happen as of yet
barnacleboy: aww :(
badboysupreme: i have executed my great wisdom and given @galaxybrain, @reyna, @coolguysdontlookatexplosions and @sadiethegreat all mod privileges
galaxybrain: was that really wise
sadiethegreat: likely not
badboysupreme: definitely not
coolguysdontlookatexplosions: but it will be super entertaining
moralsupport: … this will not end well