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Jungkook doesn’t think anything of the fact that Yibo invites him over for drinks after work.
Yibo knows he’s a married man and has never acted weird towards him in the past, so he’s not worried about it.
He texts Namjoon to let him know that he’ll be at Yibo’s place having drinks, and Namjoon responds, thanking him for the heads up.
They’re a couple of glasses of wine in when things get a little odd. Yibo edges himself closer into Jungkook’s personal space on the couch they’re both occupying. It’s weird, Jungkook thinks. This feels weird, and he’s wine tipsy, but he knows this is wrong.
“Are you happy in your marriage, Jungkook?” Yibo tilts his head.
Jungkook is taken aback, “Sorry?”
“It doesn’t seem like you’re happy.”
“I—I’m happy.” Jungkook stutters.
“You don’t sound certain.”
Jungkook blinks. He’s drunk. Yibo is drunk, he tells himself.
This is wrong.
Why isn’t he leaving?
Why aren’t Jungkook’s legs picking him up from the couch and running?
Yibo edges even closer, and takes the wine glass from Jungkook’s hand, placing it on the coffee table and leaning his face close to Jungkook’s.
“You want this, too. Don’t you?” Yibo whispers, his eyes flicking between Jungkook’s eyes and lips. “Can I?”
Yibo moves in to connect their lips, but Jungkook realises what’s happening quick enough. He pushes him away and stands up.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He spits.
Yibo scoffs, “You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re happy in your marriage.”
“My marriage is none of your business.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t let people almost kiss you, then? Hm?”
Jungkook walks away, grabbing his coat and slamming the front door behind him.
“Babe.” Jungkook sniffles as he walks into the bedroom, Namjoon already in bed reading a book.
He sits up at the sight of Jungkook crying. “Hey, come here. What the hell happened? I thought you were just drinking with Yibo?”
The mention of his name makes Jungkook feel dirty, makes him want to hack up his guts.
Jungkook crawls onto the bed. “Joon, I’m awful.”
“Wait—Jungkook. What? Did something happen?” Jungkook can see hurt slowly creeping onto Namjoon’s face as he frowns.
“No. Namjoon, no. God. No. But.” Jungkook sighs, “I almost let him lean in and kiss me after he asked me if I was happy in my marriage.”
Namjoon blinks. A beat. “What did you say?”
“I told him I’m happy.”
Namjoon bites his lip, unsure. “Are you?”
Jungkook purses his lips, his tears burning hot against his cheeks, his heart feeling like it’s slowly being chipped away piece by piece.
“If I was happy, would I let him get close enough? He invaded my personal space.”
“Yeah.” Namjoon nods, “Well, I mean..”
“I love you, Namjoon. I feel sick that I let it happen.”
“It’s not like we can expect our marriage will always be full of love and lust.” Namjoon shrugs, and Jungkook can see the hurt on his face. He’s hurting Namjoon.
“Namjoon, we can fix this. I want to fix this.”
“Okay.” Namjoon nods, placing his book that was on his lap onto the bedside table. He holds his arm out for Jungkook to slip into, and Jungkook accepts it.
Being in Namjoon’s embrace is what home usually feels like to Jungkook. But right now, Namjoon’s stiff and doesn’t even loosen up when Jungkook snuggles into his side.
“I want to focus everything on us.” Jungkook says over dinner the next day, neither of them having mentioned it since last night.
Namjoon nods, “I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I think both of us should try to, I don’t know, like, put everything into making sure that this works. Hearing you say what you said last night made me feel like I was ready to get up and go, drop everything and give up on us. That’s not what love is, and that’s not what I promised you when I married you. So, I guess I’m not the saint here, either.”
Jungkook stares down at his plate, biting his lip and trying to keep the tears at bay. He feels selfish for being upset, feels selfish for thinking that Namjoon’s wrong for wanting to leave. He almost let himself ruin his marriage last night, and he’s trying to take out his anger and frustration on Namjoon.
Being with Namjoon is comfortable.
They’ve been married for six years already, Jungkook being twenty when they finally tied the knot, as they’d been dating since they were in their teens.
Jungkook knows that he loves Namjoon, knows that Namjoon is the only person he wants to be with in his life, but the fact that he unintentionally sought excitement from elsewhere is proving that something’s up, and he’s not putting in enough effort to make their marriage exciting enough.
He knows he loves Namjoon, but sometimes he finds him irritating and the last person he wants to be around, recently wondering what his life would be like if he hadn’t married him. Maybe he’d be sleeping around, maybe he’d be dating someone who he can travel with, maybe he’d be dating someone who doesn’t go to bed at nine every night just to read.
He knows he’s unfair for thinking these thoughts, knowing that if his life had turned out any different, he’d regret it and wish for what he has now, but he can’t help but think of the ‘what ifs’, and he knows that isn’t healthy for keeping his marriage healthy.
It’s expected, though, of two people in their mid-twenties who have already settled down, he likes to tell himself.
Namjoon would also be the first to admit that it’s been a joint effort when it comes to neither of them really putting time into each other. They’ve been growing older, their interests differing the more they grow and move on in their lives.
The Namjoon that Jungkook is with now is nothing like the Namjoon he has loved over the past ten years of being with him. Usually, it was easy to fall back in love with the Namjoon that’s changed, but this time, it hasn’t been so easy, so Jungkook wonders sometimes.
Namjoon texts him at work the day after, asking him if they should try doing a date night.
Joonie
What do you think about us trying a date night or something?
Dinner at our favourite restaurant?
Jungkook
Sounds like a start
I’d love to
Joonie
The excitement of asking you on a date never goes away :’)
Jungkook looks at his phone, feeling his heart ache. He can’t even force himself to feel excited or giddy over receiving the message. He hates it. Hates feeling like this.
So, that weekend, they go on a date. Namjoon drives them to one of their favourite restaurants, one that they've frequented over the years.
This should feel comfortable, it should just feel like they're just coming here like they have been for years. Many of the staff recognise them when they walk in, greeting them like the regulars they are.
Jungkook feels uncomfortable. He feels anxious, like they know.
Like the staff know that his and Namjoon's marriage is failing and that they're grasping to bring it back, and them going on a 'date' is the first step.
He doesn't want to be looked at, doesn't want to be judged by the people he was always happy to see in the past.
Once they’re seated, Namjoon reaches for the menu calmly, and Jungkook doesn't understand why he feels so calm and collected about this.
"Joonie." Jungkook whispers, leaning across the table. "Maybe we shouldn't have come here."
Namjoon frowns, "Why?" He looks around the room, trying to find what the problem is.
"They're judging us."
"Judging us about what?"
"The fact that..." Jungkook tries, "I..."
The more he speaks, the more he realises that his worries seem completely nonsensical, that he's not making any sense to Namjoon.
Namjoon watches Jungkook intently, placing his hand over Jungkook's that's clenched on the table and gently runs his thumb over his knuckles.
"Baby, no one is judging us." Namjoon whispers.
Jungkook breathes out. Namjoon's patience and understanding with him always helps calm him easier than any other methods Jungkook has tried to combat his anxiety.
"You're right. I know." Jungkook whispers. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, you know you never need to apologise to me." Namjoon says, and Jungkook's eyes flick straight to Namjoon's face. After realising the weight of his words, he retracts his hand and picks up the menu again, avoiding his gaze.
Jungkook's heart aches. He can't feel sorry for himself.
There's something about being aware that there's problems within your marriage that changes things. Not realising or addressing them could be seen to be easier, because you're not spending every waking moment hating yourself for not being in love with your husband who you know deserves to be loved, especially when you can see that it's hurting him. Especially when you know that he wouldn't give up on you, refuses to, because he's too good, too good for this world, let alone you.
Jungkook orders a beer with his food, and usually, Namjoon would tease him for it. Perhaps he would kick him under the table and raise his eyebrows suggestively, silently asking if this means they're going to have fun later that night.
Instead, when the waiter places the beer on the coaster, Namjoon looks from the beer and to Jungkook, a blank expression on his face. He doesn't mention it.
This feels nothing like a date. Jungkook hates it.
This is him and Namjoon going to a restaurant they go to all the time, except now they can't enjoy it how they usually would because they know that they're trying to fix things, and it's fucking difficult.
Jungkook knows that Namjoon's thinking this, too. Namjoon gives up on trying to make this feel any different, his shoulders slump and he goes silent for the rest of the night. It's what Namjoon does when he feels emotionally exhausted. Jungkook knows he's the reason for that.
They eat in silence and naturally move alongside one another as they usually would, ending up in bed like a routine.
"Can I kiss you?" Namjoon asks once they've turned the lights out, and Jungkook's chest aches at the wobble in his whisper.
Namjoon is nervous asking his own husband to kiss him.
Jungkook has done this to him.
"Please never ask me that again." Jungkook whispers back, his throat dry and tears threatening to spill over.
He leans towards Namjoon in the dark, pecking his lips gently before the both of them melt together, kissing one another like they know exactly how to make each other feel good.
The next day over breakfast, Jungkook suggests that they try going on another date. He's been thinking about it almost constantly since last night, keeping himself awake long after Namjoon drifted to sleep the night before, imagining how they should tackle going on another one.
"I was thinking, why don't we try and go somewhere we haven't been before? Last night was, I don't know. It was just a little weird." Jungkook says, watching Namjoon carefully.
Namjoon ponders that for a moment and nods. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I guess that restaurant was a little too familiar for something like that."
"Yeah." Jungkook breathes, thankful Namjoon understands. He always does.
Namjoon picks up his phone and begins scrolling through as he drinks his coffee, and Jungkook musters the courage to continue explaining his plan.
"Maybe after we come back, we could.. I don't know. Have like, a romantic evening? It's been a while since we.." He licks his lips, feeling stupid.
Namjoon chuckles, looking up from his phone with a small smirk on his face. "Sure. Whatever you want, babe."
The blunt answer from Namjoon feels like a kick in the gut. They haven't had sex for probably almost a year, now, and Jungkook was worried about asking this. He wants to feel angry at Namjoon for not giving a shit, not being interested in what Jungkook's suggesting. But he knows that he doesn’t have the right to feel sorry for himself. He knows that he's the one who almost let another man kiss him. He doesn't deserve Namjoon giving in and comforting every insecurity he has. Namjoon is allowed to be selfish right now.
Jungkook begins staring holes into the kitchen table as Namjoon’s absorbed in his phone.
"Babe." Namjoon says, and Jungkook's pulled from his thoughts.
"Mm?" He focuses his attention on Namjoon.
"I've found a new restaurant that I think you might like?" Namjoon passes his phone to Jungkook.
It does seem like a restaurant he would like, he agrees, as he scrolls through the menu and photos.
He nods and passes Namjoon's phone back, "Yeah, you're right. Looks amazing."
Namjoon smiles slightly, "Okay. I'll book a reservation for the weekend after next."
Day to day life for the both of them around their apartment is how it's always been. Namjoon has a relatively inconsistent schedule, he's a music producer and some days he'll be home long before Jungkook, or will be home after Jungkook's already cooked them both dinner. Jungkook works as a motion graphics designer for a broadcasting company, and his schedule is the basic 9-5.
Jungkook didn't realise how much of a toll their schedules could've been having on their relationship until he overthinks almost everything about their lives, trying to figure out what went wrong, what it was that let them put their guards down enough to get here.
They've been trying to make an effort to eat dinner together almost every night, and some nights Jungkook has to wait around for Namjoon to get home for them to be able to eat together.
Jungkook's had a bad day, he spilt coffee over one of the mixing boards and someone made a snarky comment at him that rubbed him the wrong way, and all he wants is to be able to get home and stuff his face and feel bad about himself. He decides that maybe him and Namjoon could watch a movie together.
It's already past half eight and Namjoon still hasn't walked through the door. Jungkook's getting a little restless, annoyed and confused because Namjoon usually texts him to let him know if he's getting home late. He knows that Jungkook wouldn't eat without him, and he never wants Jungkook to wait around to eat. It's out of character for him, and Jungkook begins worrying.
He doesn't want to, but he lets his mind drift.
What if he's found someone else?
What if he's having drinks with someone else?
Wouldn't Jungkook deserve that?
Jungkook's mind is his own worst enemy, and he knows he's being ridiculous, but he's also realistic in knowing that perhaps if Namjoon did find someone else, Jungkook wouldn't be surprised. He deserves someone better than Jungkook.
Jungkook's sitting on the couch, lost in his thoughts and biting his nails when the noise of the front door opening and clicking closed snaps him back to full consciousness.
"Joonie?" He calls, his voice laced with worry.
"Baby?" Namjoon calls, his voice getting closer.
"I was worried." Jungkook whispers as Namjoon stands in the doorway of the living room.
"Oh, oh gosh." Namjoon looks at his watch, "I'm so sorry. Really."
Jungkook shakes his head, "Don't worry. Should we eat?"
"Wait, did you not eat?" Namjoon worries, biting his lip.
"We said we'd eat together."
"Oh, sweetheart. You shouldn't have waited this long for me." Namjoon's face softens, and the small smile that spreads across his face makes all of the waiting and worry worth it. It's a smile that Jungkook hasn't seen in such a long time.
It's the face he makes when Jungkook does something for him that makes him feel loved. God. Jungkook has missed that so much. He made Namjoon smile like that.
As they're eating, Jungkook bites his lip. He's unsure why he's nervous about talking to Namjoon about this, but discussions about their relationship recently have always felt like tiptoeing through broken glass.
"Joonie," Jungkook starts and Namjoon instantly gives him his full attention. "Have you ever wondered about our schedules making things harder for... like, us ?"
Namjoon bites his lip, quiet for a moment. "Definitely."
"I never really considered it until recently.." Jungkook continues.
"I think it's something I need to work on. I've been speaking to Yoongi hyung about trying to get more of a routine put in place between us so I can be more consistent."
Jungkook blinks. "Really?"
"Of course. I've been spending almost every waking moment thinking about what I've done wrong to get us here."
"Joon, it's not your fault—"
"I spoke to Yoongi hyung. We figured something out."
"...He knows?"
Namjoon's face is blank. He nods, avoiding Jungkook's gaze. Namjoon’s been talking to his friends about their failing marriage.
"Well. I guess that's fair."
"Tonight will be the last time I come home past seven. Promise."
Jungkook reaches across the table to take Namjoon's hand in his. "Thank you."
"I can't make you want to stay, but I'll continue fighting for us." Namjoon whispers, his voice wobbling and his eyes looking anywhere but Jungkook. Jungkook can see the wetness in his eyes from across the table.
"I’m not going anywhere. Why can't we just love each other like we did before?" Jungkook whines, frustrated. He doesn't realise what he’s saying until Namjoon finally meets his gaze.
His eyes are red and he's frowning. He looks hurt.
He excuses himself from the table and leaves the room, and when Jungkook gets into bed, Namjoon isn't there.
Namjoon sleeps in the guest bedroom that night.
Every night after this, Namjoon returns home from work before seven, some nights well before. He's trying hard, even though Jungkook knows him far too well, knows how this is eating him up from the inside out. Jungkook hates being the source of Namjoon's pain.
They eat together, clean together, and sometimes they spend evenings cuddling and watching movies on the couch.
Whenever Jungkook does the little whine he does signalling that he wants to be held, Namjoon gives in every time, even though he's certain Namjoon shouldn't be the one comforting him.
Jungkook holds a lot of guilt.
There's an evening where Namjoon has planned to stay late at the studio, making sure to run it past Jungkook and triple checking with him. It's sweet, Jungkook thinks, how much effort he's putting into this. How much effort he’s putting into proving he's trustworthy. Jungkook's certain that this is coming from a place of insecurity from Namjoon, considering he’s never felt it necessary to be this transparent about everything with Jungkook in the past.
The problem is, Jungkook has also been transparent with everything, too. Namjoon knew he was with Yibo that night, knew he was drinking. Jungkook came home straight away and was honest about what almost happened. But there still seems to be something that seems to be bothering Namjoon everyday, and Jungkook isn't sure how to help him.
Jungkook doesn't really want to be in the apartment alone, though. He decides to take a walk and to have the freedom to just think.
It's a cool night, it’s not quite summer yet, so the days feel shorter and the sun has already set. Jungkook decides to take a walk along the river, deciding that he can grab some food from a food stall on his way back.
After a little while, he takes a seat on a bench and peoplewatches. He can't quite believe his eyes when he sees a young couple getting engaged, a man kneeling on one knee and his partner jumping up and down, grinning from ear to ear. Jungkook watches the 'yes' come out of her mouth, and he slides a ring on her finger.
He chuckles, watching the scene in front of him, reminiscing back to when he had proposed to Namjoon.
Jungkook had planned it for almost a year, planning and cancelling things he had booked, places where he could propose to Namjoon. Most of all, he was nervous that Namjoon might beat him to it by proposing first. He had finally settled on Lotte World, Jungkook definitely being the one that pushed their day out there, as Namjoon isn't too crazy on theme parks.
He'd imagined it, dreamed about it in his head, how it would go. He'd take Namjoon to the Camelot Carousel and he'd get on one knee and ask the love of his life to marry him. He just knew how gorgeous Namjoon would look, how the glow of the lights would reflect beautifully off of his honey skin, how his dimple would pop out and how his lips would curl when he said yes, (if he did. Jungkook didn't want to think about the possibility of him saying anything other than yes).
When the day came, Namjoon was a little reluctant, but will always make the effort for Jungkook. It was clear on his face when Jungkook made him queue for Atlantis that there was a possibility Namjoon could've said no. Not only does Namjoon hate rides, Jungkook had made him queue for over an hour. Namjoon never backs down though, and in the end he enjoyed the ride, gripping tightly onto Jungkook's hand and screaming in delight throughout.
Jungkook led him to the carousel, scoping out how busy it was, and made them loop a couple of times, pretending to be distracted by different things until it seemed like the coast was clear.
He took him over and grabbed onto Namjoon's hand, getting on one knee. He quickly let go of Namjoon's hand and slid the box out of his jacket pocket, opening it and presenting it to Namjoon. Namjoon looked shocked and delighted, his eyes glassed over and his mouth agape.
"Kim Namjoon, will you make me the happiest man in the world?" Jungkook asked, his voice shaky.
Namjoon stared down at Jungkook for a moment in a daze. He looked breathless. Jungkook wished there was some way that he could've taken a photo of how gorgeous Namjoon looked seconds before he replied, "Yes, Jeon Jungkook. Yes. I love you."
Jungkook felt his eyes water, and through blurry eyes he took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Namjoon's finger. Namjoon pulled him up and pecked him gently on the lips, his shyness towards PDA never letting up, even after being proposed to.
Jungkook smiled against Namjoon's lips, and pulled away to notice a small crowd formed around them, delighted. Many older women cooed and aww'd at them, and Namjoon's face had turned beet red.
Maybe Namjoon hated Jungkook for proposing to him like that, but Jungkook wouldn't have changed it for the world.
Jungkook slides his phone out of his pocket, opening the Instagram app and scrolling through his profile until he finds the photo he posted after Namjoon had said yes.
He smiles down at his phone, feeling himself getting worked up as he revisits his and Namjoon's past, their happy memories. He doesn't stop the tears when they spill over and onto his cheeks, looking out to the river and feeling that now, more than ever, he can't let Namjoon go.
When he gets home later that night, he takes a shower and waits for Namjoon to arrive home in bed. He's feeling a little mentally exhausted from the walk he took, so he struggles to stay awake until Namjoon returns.
He awakes an hour or so later, hearing the front door click quietly. He blinks himself out of sleep and wants to be awake for Namjoon coming to bed, wanting to talk to Namjoon about what he'd been thinking about earlier.
"Oh, you're awake." Namjoon says, smiling slightly as he walks into the bedroom.
"Wanted to wait up for you." Jungkook whispers, smacking his dry lips together.
"Just woke up?" Namjoon whispers, now at the side of the bed and gently running his hand through Jungkook's hair.
"Maybe." Jungkook giggles.
Namjoon chuckles, "Go back to sleep, baby. I need to shower, I feel gross."
"I'll wait up for you." Jungkook whisper-shouts after Namjoon as he leaves the room.
He wills himself to stay awake, his eyelids fluttering shut. He gives in after what feels like an hour, (what really was ten minutes), of Namjoon being in the shower, promising to himself that he'll talk to Namjoon about it tomorrow.
Things go back to their normal routine the day after, Jungkook already leaves the house before Namjoon is awake, but still presses a light kiss to his forehead before going.
He decides that he'll tell Namjoon about his walk over dinner, hoping that maybe they can talk about it, maybe reminisce a little more about their past. It seems to be helping Jungkook, realising that he can't let this go. He needs to hold out, so that there's a day in the future where he can look back and reminisce on memories of him and Namjoon in this time of their lives. Even if there was that blip that rocked the boat in their marriage.
Namjoon arrives home earlier tonight, while Jungkook's still prepping their dinner. He comes into the kitchen, gives Jungkook a peck on the cheek and dives straight into helping him.
It's little things like this that make Jungkook never want anyone else, never want to bother trying to find anyone that would understand him and move along in sync with him so well. He really believes that Namjoon is his soulmate, and he was destined to love him.
"When you were at the studio last night, I went for a walk along the river." Jungkook says, sneaking a glance at Namjoon's side profile.
"Oh?" Namjoon asks, in the way he does when he's ready to listen. He's attentive and is a great listener. Jungkook has always loved that about him.
"Yeah, I saw a couple that got engaged. He proposed to her in front of the river."
Namjoon chuckles, "Oh, that's nice."
"It reminded me of when I proposed to you." Jungkook smiles to himself.
"How could I forget," Namjoon groans jokingly, rolling his eyes.
Jungkook giggles, elbowing Namjoon gently and feeling something bloom in his chest. Warmth.
"Made me think about how you always put yourself out of your comfort zone for me. I'm thankful for that." Jungkook stops what he's doing and feels his voice wobble a little.
He looks to Namjoon, who has also put down the rice he was measuring in front of the rice cooker. Namjoon looks at him and smiles slightly, "Of course. When I say I'd do anything for you, I mean it. Even if it makes me uncomfortable. Love is like that sometimes, but it's been worth it."
Jungkook chokes up looking at Namjoon. The man who he's broken, the man who always puts everything he has into loving Jungkook. Perhaps they started slipping, getting a little too comfortable, but he knows that Namjoon is so honest and true to what he believes, and he's always believed and been vocal that he should love Jungkook with all that he can. He nibbles on his bottom lip, trying not to cry before they've even got dinner on the table.
"I love you, Namjoonie."
There's what looks like a half-defeated smile on Namjoon's face as he closes his eyes and nods. "I love you too, Jungkook. I'll never stop."
When they sit down at the table, Jungkook unlocks his phone and navigates straight to the photo of Namjoon standing in front of the carousel. He turns his phone and points it at Namjoon, smiling.
Namjoon takes his phone and grins at the photo.
"You look so cute there, Namjoonie."
"I remember that you looked even cuter from behind the camera." He chuckles, passing Jungkook's phone back. He takes his own out and navigates through for a moment, his smile widening as he finds what he was looking for. "Even with the silly froggy ears. That you wore. As you proposed to me." He passes the phone to Jungkook who finds a photo of himself wearing a frog ear headband, smiling and holding up a peace sign.
It feels warm and nice.
Jungkook doesn't understand why Namjoon sleeps in the guest bedroom again that night, but he doesn't question it.
On the evening of their date, they both go all out. They dress up, putting a lot of effort into their appearances, more than they have in perhaps a couple of years just to go on a date with one another.
Jungkook honestly feels giddy when he sees Namjoon step out from the bathroom, his hair perfectly parted and slicked. He's definitely put on some foundation and a little eyeshadow. It makes Jungkook's heart flip in his chest.
Falling back in love with your own husband is weird, Jungkook thinks.
He hopes that Namjoon is feeling the same about him, a little self conscious and rushing past Namjoon to get into the bathroom, checking his hair and face to make sure he looks good too.
"Hey, you look amazing." Namjoon says from the door, "What are you worried about?"
Namjoon smiles wide and his eyes smile with his cheekbones, and Jungkook doesn't really know what to do with himself. He can't remember the last time he felt like this when it came to Namjoon. He feels like he's going out on his first date with him.
Namjoon squeezes his ass on their way out the door, and Jungkook has to suppress a giggle.
The restaurant they go to is a really nice change of scenery, really adding to the illusion they're carrying; they're on their first date.
And obviously Namjoon was right, knowing Jungkook inside out, because Jungkook loves the food. He loves the atmosphere of the restaurant, and can't stop staring at his husband from across the table. That's his husband, he thinks to himself. His husband who loves and cares for him, would drop anything for him.
Namjoon tilts his head, "What's on your mind, pumpkin?"
"You." Jungkook smiles, chuckling at how cheesy he sounds.
Namjoon giggles, doing that cute thing he does where he covers his mouth as he laughs.
Yeah.
Jungkook's definitely falling back in love with his husband.
They giggle and joke all evening, still keeping up with the first date roleplay situation they have going on, and it's clear they both love it. Jungkook hasn't had this much fun in such a long time.
And it doesn't stop there; when they get home, Jungkook asks Namjoon to stay in the living room before going into the bedroom.
He quickly lights candles around the room and dims the lights, rooting around in their wardrobe to find Namjoon's favourite piece of lingerie he bought for Jungkook.
It's a pink lacy bodysuit, and Jungkook's excited to slide it on. He arranges himself in front of the mirror, making sure he's tucked his half hard cock upwards so Namjoon can see.
He takes a deep breath, walking out to the living room and posing in the doorway.
Namjoon almost chokes when he sees Jungkook, running his eyes up and down Jungkook's body achingly slow.
"Like what you see?" Jungkook teases, his tongue between his teeth.
Namjoon bites his lip, "My favourite."
He stands from the couch, walking over to Jungkook immediately and capturing his lips. Jungkook gives in to the kiss, letting Namjoon push him against the doorframe gently as he explores Jungkook's mouth with his tongue.
"So sexy," Namjoon breathes, trailing his hands down Jungkook's body, causing the fabric to rub against his nipples.
"Ah," Jungkook whines, "Please."
Namjoon pulls back, taking a moment to look at Jungkook and drink him in, before he grabs Jungkook's legs and hoists him up around his waist, leading them both to the bedroom with Jungkook in his arms. Jungkook yelps, wrapping his arms around Namjoon's neck and holding on tightly until Namjoon carefully places him on the bed.
"My gorgeous baby," Namjoon breathes, "Fuck."
Jungkook feels hot under Namjoon's gaze, Namjoon looking at him hungrily. As if they haven't had each other like this for over a year, (they haven't).
Namjoon's excitement and insistence as he crawls on top of Jungkook, mouthing at his neck, makes Jungkook feel all fuzzy, a mixture of emotions swirling in his gut.
He's missed feeling wanted like this.
Namjoon is taking his time with Jungkook, running his hands slowly along the fabric of Jungkook's bodysuit, the material dragging along his cock that's now straining between the bodysuit and his stomach.
"Ah," Jungkook whines, "Feels good."
Namjoon groans into Jungkook's neck, leaning back onto his knees. He bites his lip and leans to grab the lube from their drawers.
When he leans back to kneel in front of Jungkook, the lube in his grip, Namjoon's face slowly morphs from wonder to worry. His eyebrows are drawn together and he's suddenly avoiding Jungkook's gaze.
"Do I—Should I wear a condom?" He strains, the words feeling like a hundred daggers being stabbed straight through Jungkook's heart.
"What? Joon? What do you mean?" Jungkook asks, his voice desperate. Hoping, praying for another reason, another explanation.
Namjoon tips his head back and tears silently slide down his cheeks.
"Joonie, please." Jungkook begs, "Please. You know it's not like that, it's never been like that. Nothing happened. I wouldn't. Fuck, I promise."
Jungkook swiftly moves, sitting up on his knees. He feels sick, his head aching and his heart thumping so loud he's not sure he can hear anything else. The rubbing of the lace against his dick feels rough and uncomfortable.
He feels dirty.
"Namjoon. I promise. I'd never do that to you." Jungkook doesn't hold back the tears, his voice desperate. "He almost kissed me, and that was it. I came home and I cried because I felt gross that I even let him that close to me."
"Okay." Namjoon whispers, his eyes still closed and nodding his head lightly. "I know, I know. You're right. I'm sorry."
"No. God, you have every right to feel like this. To worry. I just—I need to.." Jungkook slides himself off the bed, holding his hands over himself and grabbing a pair of boxers from their drawer. "Should I sleep in the guest bedroom tonight?" Jungkook asks, his eyes a little blurry as he tries to hold himself together while Namjoon falls apart on their bed.
"Please don't." Namjoon’s voice is small, so vulnerable, Jungkook didn’t think his heart could ache any harder.
Jungkook nods. "Okay."
He drags his feet to the bathroom, peeling the bodysuit off and looking at himself in the mirror. It feels like time is moving at lightning speed, his entire body buzzing and a resident sick feeling in his stomach. Turning on the tap, he splashes cold water on his face and slides on his boxers, kicking the bodysuit into the corner of the room.
He was an idiot to really assume that things were fixed this easily.
When he walks back into the bedroom, Namjoon's stripped into his boxers and is lying on top of the sheets, curled into himself. Jungkook edges himself onto the bed, not sure whether Namjoon wants to be touched right now.
"Can I?" Jungkook asks gently, knowing that Namjoon will know.
Namjoon nods, so Jungkook wraps himself around Namjoon's body, draping his arm over his chest.
"I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust and made you feel like this." Jungkook whispers, leaning his forehead against Namjoon's back, "I'm sorry. I hope I can earn your trust again."
Namjoon sniffles, "You were honest with me. This is my problem, Jungkook. I'm just insecure."
"I hope you know that I'll never want anyone other than you."
"I'll never want anyone other than you."
"I really love you, Namjoon. I promise that we'll make it through this."
Namjoon pauses. "Are you in love with me, though?"
"I'm certainly getting there. I won't lie to you, because you deserve complete transparency from me. I love you, and I'm falling back in love with you."
Namjoon nods, "Thank you, baby." Namjoon grabs ahold of Jungkook's hand that's over his chest and squeezes gently, pulling his arm further over his body. "I think I'm getting there, too. Just trying to work it through."
"I’ll be with you to remind you that I only want you every step of the way."
"I'd wait forever for you." Namjoon whispers.
Jungkook kisses the back of Namjoon's neck lightly, ghosting his lips over it and feeling Namjoon shiver under his touch.
When Jungkook wakes up, they've switched positions, and Namjoon has his arm draped over Jungkook's body. He's not sure how it happened, but Namjoon's face is buried in Jungkook's hair. He takes a breath, trying to savour this moment, this feeling.
Last night was rough, and Jungkook doesn't even have the words to describe how it felt, doesn't even want to imagine how Namjoon had felt. He bites his lip, worrying about today, knowing that they're going to have to take this day by day, and it won't be easy.
Jungkook forces his eyes shut, begging his brain to let him sleep a little longer, escape from his thoughts even for a short while. Sadly, asking your brain to let you sleep when you're overthinking and also not tired, doesn't work.
Namjoon begins softly kissing Jungkook's head, and Jungkook melts into the touch.
"Mm," Jungkook whispers, testing to see if Namjoon is awake.
Namjoon adjusts himself so he's tighter against Jungkook's back, pressing his face against Jungkook's hair and sighing.
"Joonie?"
"Mmm," Namjoon breathes, taking in a deep breath, his nose nestled in Jungkook’s hair. "Baby smells good."
Oh.
Jungkook wasn't expecting that. He also wasn't expecting to feel Namjoon hard against his ass, rubbing lightly against him.
"Oh?" Jungkook asks, hesitantly pushing himself back against Namjoon who groans in response.
Namjoon lifts his head and begins mouthing at Jungkook's neck, trailing his hands over Jungkook's bare chest. Jungkook feels dizzy from confusion and arousal, but he wouldn't dare question Namjoon in a moment like this. Namjoon can take what he wants.
Namjoon slides his hand slowly down Jungkook's chest, teasing with the waistband of Jungkook's boxers. Jungkook intakes a sharp breath and holds it, feeling like if he breathes loud enough for even Namjoon to hear, the spell over them will break and Namjoon will snap back to reality. He wants to stay here, in this moment, where he feels like Namjoon truly wants him, like maybe he can pretend that there's nothing wrong, like nothing is broken between them.
Everything feels different and Jungkook's senses are heightened; the feel of Namjoon ghosting his hand over his dick that's already hard and straining against his boxers. It feels so good, exceptionally good, so good that even if Jungkook could let out the breath he's holding, he wouldn't.
"Excited already, baby?" Namjoon grunts as he presses down against Jungkook's erection and pushes his cock against Jungkook's ass with more force.
Jungkook is overwhelmed, his brain swarmed and his gut twisting with pleasure. This feels so good, far too good, and Jungkook needs to make sure he doesn't explode right now.
It's been so long that he's felt wanted by Namjoon, his cock is desperate for relief already, and the pleasure in his gut is making him hazy.
"Nnhgh," Jungkook whines, "Gonna. Fuck. Joonie, please. Am."
"So soon?" Namjoon sucks in a breath and lifts his hand from Jungkook's bulge, who breathes a sigh of relief from the removal of pressure. The warmth of Namjoon's body disappears slightly and Jungkook falls to lean on his back and sees Namjoon popping the cap of the lube. Namjoon watches Jungkook as he pours the lube on his fingers, his eyes dark, hungry.
God. Jungkook can see that he wants to devour him, and his cock jumps at the thought of being devoured by Namjoon, being used by him however he wants.
Namjoon warms the lube between his fingers and uses his free hand to pull Jungkook's boxers off, letting the fabric drag achingly slow against Jungkook's dick. Jungkook moans at the sensation and the anticipation of knowing after a year, he's going to have Namjoon's long fingers inside of him. Namjoon's huge cock.
Jungkook wiggles, lifting himself off the bed to assist in the removal of his boxers until Namjoon is dragging his boxers down his legs and his red raw dick is slapping against his stomach. He breathes a sigh of relief, trying to pace himself before Namjoon positions himself between Jungkook's legs, spreading his thighs further apart. Namjoon licks his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of Jungkook, and Jungkook has to close his eyes; even watching Namjoon look at him hungrily is enough to tip him over the edge, and pacing himself is getting harder by the minute.
"So fucking pretty, aren't you?" Namjoon growls, the air of his warm breath hitting Jungkook's balls. Jungkook bites his lip, keeping his eyes clamped shut. He raises his arms over his head, crossing his wrists and hitting them against the headboard.
The idea of Namjoon freely having his way with Jungkook is far too exciting right now, and he's desperate to be used by Namjoon. He wants to be punished.
"Oh?" Jungkook can hear the smirk in Namjoon's voice. "Baby wants to be tied down, hmm? Letting me use him however he wants?"
Jungkook nods frantically, not even wanting to open his eyes.
"Do you need to be tied up or are you strong enough to keep your arms there?"
Jungkook whines.
"Answer Joonie please, baby."
"Mmm. Strong enough." Jungkook mutters, knowing he's set himself up for failure. He was overwhelmed before Namjoon had even taken his boxers off, but knowing he can't touch or see will be the death of him. He just hopes he can last until Namjoon is inside of him.
He feels Namjoon's tongue flick at his rim and he gasps, pleasure rippling through his body. His wrists jolt, feeling the urge to push Namjoon's head away even though it feels so good, but he wills himself to keep his hands above his head, clenching his fists tightly. Namjoon dips his tongue into Jungkook and quickly removes it, almost instantly replacing it by sliding a finger into him. Jungkook pants, the stretch feeling weird. It's been so long he's almost forgotten how it feels, until the pressure inside of him begins building again, hitting him like a freight train as Namjoon drags his finger along Jungkook's prostate.
Jungkook hisses, taking it and trying his best to hold on. Luckily, Namjoon doesn't tease for too long before adding in a second finger and fucking them both into Jungkook, who's letting the force of Namjoon's thrusts jolt his body, his mind fuzzy as he tries to control his pleasure. He can't remember if Namjoon has ever been so rough with him before. Namjoon slips both of his fingers out and Jungkook keeps his eyes shut, feeling Namjoon shift on the bed and assuming he's taking his own briefs off. He hears the cap of the lube pop again and the squelch as Namjoon lubes himself up, a small hiss leaving Namjoon's mouth. Jungkook tries not to smile at that fact, knowing Namjoon didn't bother warming up the lube and probably pumped it straight onto his dick again .
Before Jungkook can get complacent, Namjoon brings his tip to Jungkook's rim.
"Oh baby, I wish you could see how filthy you look. Your pretty hole fluttering for my dick, hm?" Namjoon groans, and Jungkook feels like his entire body is on fire. He's always loved it when Namjoon degrades him, but Namjoon was always too shy before. Jungkook feels his body quaking as his senses are heightened, his sensitivity at levels he never thought he could reach, Namjoon bottoms out and groans lowly.
"I fit so perfectly, don't I?" Namjoon's voice has sounded so different all morning, so foreign to how Jungkook has ever heard Namjoon sound before.
"Yes, ah. Yes, Joon. Was made for your cock, ah," Jungkook pants, praying Namjoon moves soon.
Namjoon inhales sharply before grabbing ahold of Jungkook's hips and sharply fucking into him. "You're all mine, aren't you, baby?" Namjoon whispers, not letting up on the pace his hips are slamming into Jungkook.
"Agh," Jungkook's body jolts, "Yes—all, all yours Joon. Only ever been yours."
Namjoon growls, digging his fingers harder into the flesh of Jungkook's hips, and Jungkook can't hold on any longer. His nails are digging into his palms as he keeps them suspended against the headboard, and his eyes still forced shut. He has no idea how Namjoon's looking at him right now, but from the sounds Namjoon is making, he's hoping that Namjoon's hungrily drinking Jungkook in as he fucks into him. The thought makes Jungkook desperate, pushing himself off the headboard to try and match Namjoon's pace and feeling tears slide down his cheeks.
"Close, close. Ah, please."
Namjoon loosens his grip on one of Jungkook's hips to wrap around Jungkook's cock, the sensation almost completely tipping Jungkook over the edge before Namjoon's first stroke. Jungkook digs his fingernails further into his palms as he feels the waves of pleasure finally crash over him, his body shaking as he rides out his orgasm, not even aware of what he's whining as he spills all over his chest.
"Fuck, baby." Namjoon whispers as he stutters his hips, his thrusts become erratic as he stills before releasing inside of Jungkook. "Fuck."
He slides out of Jungkook almost instantly, and Jungkook keeps his eyes tightly shut. He stays still, feeling Namjoon silently climb off the bed and leave the room.
Namjoon returns to the room, and Jungkook feels a soft touch as Namjoon's thumb brushes over Jungkook's cheek. "Baby? Can you open your eyes to look at me?" He whispers.
Jungkook slowly opens his eyes and is met with Namjoon softly looking back at him. He can't decipher the look on his face.
"I've started running a bath, you need me to carry you?"
Jungkook blinks once, twice, avoiding Namjoon's gaze.
"Baby?" Namjoon worries, "Baby, can you look at me?"
"You took your anger out on me." Jungkook whispers, realisation washing over him now that the haze of arousal has disappeared.
Namjoon's eyes widen, his face going pale as if he'd seen a ghost. He shakes his head, "Jungkook, I—"
"No, no." Jungkook reassures, "No. I'm fine, please. It's not like that. I enjoyed it, a lot. But. Ouch. I deserve it, I guess."
Namjoon shakes his head, "We should've discussed it beforehand. Fuck. I'm an idiot."
"Did you miss the part where I said I enjoyed it?" Jungkook chuckles.
"Sex isn't the correct place to relieve that kind of emotion, especially without discussion. Whether we're married or not." Namjoon shakes his head, Jungkook can tell he's remorseful.
"Stop acting like that wasn't ridiculously hot and steamy sex. I've been begging you to fuck me like that for years."
Namjoon narrows his eyes as he looks at Jungkook, "Brat."
"Don't. I will get hard again."
Namjoon barks a laugh, "You're awful."
"I didn't just take my marriage anger and insecurities out through the means of sexual intercourse, though." Jungkook quips and grins widely.
"Enjoy walking to the bath." Namjoon tilts his head, smirk present on his face as he gets up from the bed where he was sitting next to Jungkook.
"Hey, wait—" Jungkook whines, "You can't leave me here. You're leaking out of me." He pouts, Namjoon looking back to him and his face instantly softening.
"Oh, baby." Namjoon sighs, "You're far too fucking cute. God." He walks back and gently runs his fingers through Jungkook's hair. Namjoon closes his eyes and chuckles to himself before tucking a towel he brought from the bathroom underneath Jungkook's ass and leaning down to pick Jungkook up to carry him bridal style. Jungkook wraps his arms around Namjoon and leans his head into Namjoon's neck, letting Namjoon take care of him.
"The bath should be the right temperature, but I can't check," Namjoon chuckles, setting Jungkook on the toilet with its lid closed once they reach the bathroom. "Hold on, baby." He leans over and dips his finger into the water, nodding and turning off the tap. "It's perfect, little one. Hop in." Namjoon gets up and slips into the bath first, holding his arms out for Jungkook who can't hold back the smile he's wearing as he carefully climbs into the bath and leans back against Namjoon.
He melts against him, taking a deep breath and feeling like his exhaustion is slipping away in the warmth of Namjoon against his back. Namjoon wraps his arms around Jungkook and pecks at his head from behind.
"How are you feeling?" He says gently.
"Feel really nice, Joonie." Jungkook whispers, his entire body lax as he lets his mind shut off.
"Good, baby." Another peck, "So... I'm not sure if you'll think it's a good idea but I wanted to ask you something."
Jungkook hums, trying not to let himself get carried away about the potential possibilities of what it is that Namjoon could be asking him.
"Remember when we said we really wanted to go to Japan, like, I don't know, three or four years ago? But then work didn't give you the time off we planned so then we ended up putting it off?"
Jungkook finds Namjoon's hand on his stomach and intertwines their fingers, "Mmm, yeah."
"Should we," Namjoon hesitates, "Do you want to go? To Japan? With me?"
Jungkook's tired brain almost responds with a retort, teasing Namjoon for asking his own husband if he wants to go on holiday with him. Luckily he stops himself before he opens his mouth. He takes a moment before responding, "That sounds like a wonderful idea, Joonie. Can't imagine anything better than going on holiday with you." He smiles, and hears Namjoon lightly chuckle behind him.
Namjoon leans his head against Jungkook's shoulder. "Okay. We can have a look today, yeah?"
"Sounds perfect." Jungkook breathes.
Later, once they're out of the bath and are dressed, takeout on the way to their apartment, they sit together on the couch looking at potential holiday destinations. They agree on the fact that they've always wanted to visit a beach, and try to find a nice resort to stay at. Jungkook insists they try to find a beach that only the resort can access, and Namjoon voices his confusion.
"Oh, I didn't know that was a thing." He chuckles.
"Yeah, I've read about it." Jungkook says, scrolling through the laptop that's balanced on his lap, Namjoon's head resting on his shoulder. "I'm not sure how much of a difference it makes, but the idea of it being restricted to only a certain resort makes it sound fancy, right?"
Namjoon chuckles, "Yeah, it does, baby. You're right."
Jungkook embraces the little flutter his heart gives at the 'baby' he's heard from Namjoon's lips countless times, continuing their search for a holiday destination.
They take a break to eat once their food arrives, but get straight back into it after finishing their meal. It doesn't take long for them to decide where to stay.
"Hey," Namjoon says, "Scroll back up. Did that say there's an island that only inhabits three villages on it?"
Jungkook complies, scrolling back up to read what he missed.
"Oh wow," Jungkook breathes, "Taketomi island." He reads, clicking the link to the hotel immediately. They both sigh happily as they scroll through the photos of the villas, admiring how traditional the village looks, and the fact that there's direct beach access. Jungkook feels excited just by looking, and he wishes they were flying there immediately.
"I really like this, Joonie." Jungkook bites his lip, his lips curling into a smile.
"Ah, me too. It's gorgeous. Should we look at dates? I can give Yoongi hyung a call." Namjoon says, his breath warm against Jungkook's neck.
Jungkook shivers, "Ah, that's a good idea. Booking time off work is relatively easy for me, but I can try and get it sorted on Monday. It'll be easier if we have a definite yes from hyung, though."
So they pick a date for next month, and Namjoon gives Jungkook a forehead peck before leaving the room to call Yoongi. Jungkook can't help but eavesdrop, their apartment is silent and he can decipher parts of what Namjoon is saying on the phone.
"Yeah." Namjoon says, "Yeah. It'll be...yeah. Yeah. We're still trying to work on things. Honestly? I'm not sure. Okay. Yeah, thank you so much. Really. I owe you."
Jungkook bites his lip, wishing he'd not listened in.
Namjoon walks back in the room with a light dusting on his cheeks and a huge smile.
"We've got the green light from hyung, so let's hope it all goes well for you on Monday." Namjoon sits back down and closes the laptop lid on Jungkook's lap, placing it on the floor and engulfing him in a hug.
"Going on holiday with you. So excited." Namjoon sighs, his head rested on Jungkook's shoulder.
Jungkook's stiff in the hug at first, still feeling a little wounded from overhearing the conversation. He knows it's not his place to feel offended in any way, and Namjoon is so happy, Jungkook really can't spoil that.
He decides that he'll let the worry slip away for tonight, if Namjoon wants to pretend, then Jungkook will give him that. They can pretend that everything's okay for now, just for one night.
They spend the next day lazily hanging around the house, cooking dinner together and then retiring straight to bed once they've eaten. Once in bed, they make out for what seems like hours on end before Namjoon falls asleep first, slowly going from tiny pecks to just puckering his lips in his sleeping state. Jungkook feels his heart contract in his chest as he watches, admiring how gorgeous Namjoon is.
There's something about the weekend they've spent together—minus Friday night—that reminds Jungkook of the time that they had just put down the deposit on their apartment. Once they'd moved in, they'd taken a week off of work and just spent the entire week being domestic, making out on every surface possible and blessing almost every other surface, too. Being young and in love with Namjoon was such a happy time in his life, and Jungkook misses it. He knows he'll never get that part of their lives back, but this weird stage that they're passing through now is bringing him a kind of peace. Something he doesn't really know how to explain, and something he can't put his finger on, but it feels nice.
They're taking steps forward, and most definitely are taking steps back, but the main point is that: they're moving. And that's something Jungkook didn't see happening after watching Namjoon's face drop when he told him the night it happened.
The first thing that Jungkook does on Monday when he arrives into work is to request the week off him and Namjoon planned, also sending an email to his boss so it doesn't get lost in his emails. It's a little unnecessary, as his boss—Taehyung—is great, and he knows he can rely on him to process the request the second it hits his inbox, but Jungkook is feeling antsy. He really wants this to go through, he hasn't been able to get the resort out of his mind and how good it'll be for them to get away and spend time together. He thinks they really need it.
He's busying himself by finishing some bits for an upcoming project when he sees the email pop up from Taehyung stating that his holiday request has been accepted.
Jungkook won't lie, he did play the "going on holiday with my husband" card, and Taehyung loves Namjoon, so Jungkook knows he'll always win if it includes Namjoon.
The first time that Namjoon and Taehyung had met was at a company party. Taehyung hadn't always been Jungkook's boss, once being his equal, which is where their friendship originates from. Sitting next to someone often means that you sometimes engage in conversation with them, considering you have to spend almost forty hours a week with these people. Taehyung was a talker, though, and within the first couple of weeks of working at the company, he felt like he knew everything about Taehyung, especially his boyfriend, Jimin. Jungkook spoke briefly about Namjoon, being a reserved person as it is, but he'd always been happy to brag about his own husband, easily deeming Taehyung trustworthy enough.
So, when it came to Jungkook's first company party at the business, Jungkook was excited to introduce Namjoon to Taehyung, and was also excited to meet the infamous Jimin that Taehyung had told him so (too) much about.
Namjoon and Jungkook had dressed up in their best suits, Namjoon feeling anxious and desperate to make a good impression on Jungkook's colleagues. The thought made Jungkook's heart flip in his chest, feeling lucky to have been blessed with such a person as his soulmate.
As soon as they arrived, Jungkook led them straight to where he found Taehyung and who he assumed was Jimin. Jimin was a little shorter than Taehyung, his face round and his lips plump and gorgeous. They looked so good together, Jungkook thought, smiling at the two of them as they approached.
"Jungkookie!" Taehyung exclaimed, "Jiminie, this is Jungkookie and Namjoon-ssi." Taehyung bowed in front of Namjoon, and Namjoon put his hand to his mouth and giggled.
"Please, Taehyung-ssi. I'm a hyung." Namjoon nodded his head. "It's lovely to meet you both, Jungkook has told me so much about you."
"Good things, I hope." Taehyung narrowed his eyes at Jungkook, bursting into giggles when Jimin elbowed him.
"Namjoon hyung, Jungkook-ah, it's a pleasure to meet you. You two are a beautiful couple." Jimin said, smiling warmly at the two of them.
No matter how many times he and Namjoon have been told that comment, he knew he'd never get over it, the blush forming on his face far too quickly.
"Oh come on, Jungkookie. You're married to him." Taehyung rolled his eyes and poked Jungkook in the cheek. "Why are you blushing?"
Jungkook giggled, "Shut up. You two look amazing together, too. It's a pleasure, too, Jimin hyung."
The conversation never dulled, especially with Taehyung and his brightness, launching straight into asking Namjoon questions about things Jungkook had told him in the past. Namjoon shot Jungkook a couple of glances as a question of why the hell he'd told Taehyung this, but happily indulged Taehyung anyway.
Namjoon's job was brought into the conversation as Jimin politely asked Namjoon after discussing his career in dance coaching, and Namjoon explained his role as a producer.
"Oh? Have I heard any of the songs you've worked on?" Taehyung asked, and Namjoon blushed.
"Maybe." Namjoon shrugged, Jungkook knowing he was embarrassed even though he'd worked on some of the biggest hits in Korea over the past three years.
Jungkook mouthed a song at Taehyung whose mouth gaped at the information.
"Really? You worked with Epik High?" Taehyung gasped.
Namjoon elbowed Jungkook and laughed as he humbly accepted the praise Taehyung threw at him for the rest of the evening.
Jungkook smiles at the memory, typing back a thank you to Taehyung’s email with lots of hearts and instantly grabs his phone.
Jungkook
Guess what :3
Joonie
🥺
Jungkook
Booked in hehe
Tae hyungie couldn't say no to you
Joonie
We should send him and Jiminie a fruit basket or something hehe
Jungkook
Hehe
Cute
Okay
I can't wait to get home
Should we book it tonight?
Joonie
Of course!!!!!!
We'll heat the leftovers from last night and snuggle
Jungkook flushes at his phone, feeling like he's holding a little secret. Him and his husband are booking a holiday tonight and they're going to snuggle, and Jungkook's heart is fluttering like he's texting his crush about going on their first date. Really, that description isn't far off.
He slides on his headphones and throws himself into his work, desperate for the day to be over so he can go home to Namjoon. It's been a while since he's been excited like this.
He's warming up the leftovers from their dinner the night before when he hears Namjoon come through the front door.
"Joonie, just getting food ready." Jungkook calls through to the hall.
A couple of seconds later, Namjoon emerges through the door and wraps his arms around Jungkook's waist from behind.
He breathes in, "Mmm, thank you, baby. Gonna go wash up, I'll be a minute."
Jungkook turns his head to capture Namjoon in a quick kiss before he leaves, and Jungkook can't ignore the flush in his cheeks after kissing his husband. He feels so silly, but he loves it.
They eat snuggled up on the couch together before finalising the dates and using their joint savings to pay for the flights and villa. Tonight, it's Jungkook resting his head on Namjoon's shoulder, and once they've finished booking everything, they put on a movie and fall asleep cuddling on the couch.
Jungkook wakes up when he feels Namjoon plant a delicate kiss to his forehead, tucking him into bed.
"Joonie?" Jungkook croaks, "What time is it?" He wriggles in the bedsheets, basking in the comfort, waiting for Namjoon to slide in next to him.
"Just gone past one, little one. We conked out at around nine." Namjoon chuckles as he crosses the room to the other side of the bed and gets in, instantly opening his arms and welcoming a clingy and affectionate Jungkook into them.
"Goodnight. I love you Joonie, I really do." Jungkook whispers.
Namjoon sighs wistfully, "I love you too, Jungkookie. Goodnight."
Jungkook can't even lie, he turns into one of those people that downloads countdown apps on his phone and creates a countdown on his Instagram story.
He forgets that it's almost one of the first things that he's posted on social media since the night that he went to Yibo's house until he receives a message from his groupchat that he's been ignoring since he turned off almost all notifications from every app on his phone.
kimseok
jungkook????
jungkook is ALIVE?????????
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
@jjk97 you cannot hide now you fucker
you're CAUGHT
jjk97
omfg hyung
i've missed you so dearly too!
hopeworld
what about me?? arent i your favourite hyung???
jjk97
technically joonie is my favourite hyung
hopeworld
that isn't even FAIR
he's your HUSBAND and you don't even call him hyung anymore
jjk97
well i guess i dont have one if it isnt joonie
kimseok
you are horrible
where have you been?
i actually almost called you
you've never dropped off the radar for this long with no heads up
jjk97
oh
well
it's just a lot
joon and i arent doing so well. or...weren't...
idk.
hes been talking to yoongi hyung about it so maybe i should talk about it too
kimseok
whoa
you do not have to speak about anything you feel uncomfortable with in any way
but if you do want to speak you know exactly where we are
if you have any free time we could meet for coffee?
jjk97
well joon and i go on holiday in 3 weeks so if you guys have any free weekends between now and then
hopeworld
im free this weekend and next!
kimseok
hoseok acting like we dont literally live together with the "im"
hopeworld
you have not told me you have plans more than five minutes before you're walking out of the door in about three years jinnie
jjk97
i know you're both sat next to each other so
stop being annoying and speak verbally
i've had enough arguments lol i dont need to be involved in any more
sorry
so
haha uhhh
this weekend?
hopeworld
of course koo
we'll pick you up on saturday at 10, okay?
we love you so much
can't wait to give you all the head smooches
Jungkook smiles fondly at his screen, checking the time and realising he should probably get back to work. He opens his story again to see the countdown timer for about the seventh time that hour and locks his phone.
Namjoon gives his forehead a peck as he walks into the kitchen.
“What time are they picking you up again, baby?" He asks, placing the kettle on the stove and grabbing a mug from the cupboard.
"Oh, it should be in about ten minutes." Jungkook looks up from his phone from where he's leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Ten more minutes for kissies?" Namjoon whispers, crowding against Jungkook and smiling, his dimple popping out and his eyes glistening.
Jungkook feels the pace of his heartbeat pick up, looking up at Namjoon and blushing. Namjoon leans in and takes Jungkook's face in his hands, planting light pecks all over Jungkook's face to make him giggle and squirm. He pulls away and smiles fondly before Jungkook feels the heat in his cheeks and surges forward and captures Namjoon's bottom lip between his teeth. A small whine slips from Namjoon's mouth as Jungkook slots their lips together, the kiss slow and languid.
The buzz on their intercom brings them back to reality and Namjoon leans back and looks at Jungkook.
"They're early." He pouts.
Jungkook feels himself melt, pressing another kiss on Namjoon's pouted lips before slipping out of Namjoon's grasp and walking into the hallway and answering.
"Hello?"
"It's your favourite hyungs!~" Hoseok sings.
"Okay, I'll be down in a second." Jungkook responds as he slides his shoes on.
At the sound of hearing Jungkook put his shoes on, Namjoon comes into the hallway and wraps him in a hug.
"You deserve some time to yourself." Namjoon whispers into Jungkook's shoulder, "You've been carrying a lot of weight, please be kind to yourself." He leans back and plants another kiss on Jungkook's lips, "I love you, little one. Say hi to them from me."
Jungkook nods wordlessly, trying not to let it show that he wants to absolutely crack and break down in front of Namjoon, so instead he grabs his keys and opens the door. Namjoon slaps his ass and giggles, waving him off as he walks down the hallway.
Hoseok pulls him into a giant hug as soon as he greets them. "Missed you."
Seokjin smiles fondly and punches his shoulder lightly, and it feels a little awkward, which is uncharacteristic for Seokjin. Jungkook isn't sure how he feels about it. "Maybe I missed you as well." Seokjin smiles, and Jungkook smiles.
"I didn't miss you, fucker." He grins, leaning back from Hoseok and kicking Seokjin's shin.
"Fuck this, I take it back." Seokjin shouts, trying to wrestle Jungkook into a headlock.
"What a wonderful morning to go grab coffee with my wonderful husband and our dearest friend?" Hoseok muses aloud to himself, shaking his head fondly at them. "Right, come on. Get in the car."
They manage to make it to the coffee shop with no more scuffles, and Jungkook considers that a victory. When he voices this, Hoseok raises his eyebrow at Jungkook.
"Right, what do you want? Pick a cake and let me know what drink you want." Seokjin says as they approach the counter.
Jungkook chooses a slice of rainbow crepe cake and a hazelnut hot chocolate, shooing Hoseok to find them a table and offering to carry the tray with the drinks and cakes over.
Hoseok and Seokjin slide into the booth opposite Jungkook, distributing the drinks and coffee. They awkwardly run through basic small talk, asking how each other are, how things have been. Hoseok tries, by launching into a discussion about how he and Seokjin had been redecorating their kitchen, even showing Jungkook pictures (it did look good), but as soon as Hoseok fell silent, the silence was deafening.
"Do you want to talk?" Seokjin offers, his eyes kind as he watches Jungkook, and Jungkook timidly nods back.
"I went to a colleague's house and they tried to kiss me." Jungkook says, biting the inside of his cheek and keeping his eyes trained to his drink. He had no idea how horrible and soul-crushing it feels admitting to other people, especially your best friends, that your marriage isn't as perfect as it seems on the outside. "He tried to kiss me, after accusing me of being unhappy in my marriage."
Jungkook hears a small gasp from Hoseok and Seokjin tut lightly before he continues.
"I left straight away. I told Joon as soon as I got home, and, well, yeah. It's been pretty fucking shitty ever since then," Jungkook chuckles cynically. He bites his lip, feeling his voice on the brink of shaking. "Namjoon has taken it pretty hard, and I can't blame him in any way. We admitted almost instantly that both of us had kind of let things slip, and that we’d been a bit lazy when it came to each other. We've been trying."
He looks up to see Hoseok and Seokjin opposite him, watching him attentively. He feels like a failure, looking at his best friends that now know he's failed. He's failed his marriage, he's failed Namjoon, the one person he promised himself he'd never fail. There's a lump in his throat and tears rolling down his cheeks before he has the chance to acknowledge what's about to happen. Hoseok's face drops instantly, grabbing a napkin and leaning across the table to wipe Jungkook's tears away and kiss his forehead.
"Jungkook-ah, you deserve a space to speak about this, and it's okay to cry. Just know that you haven't let us down, and you haven't let Namjoon down. You haven't said it, but I know that's what you're thinking." Hoseok sits back down in his seat and nods lightly at Jungkook, "He'd agree, wouldn't he? He wouldn't let you say that."
Realistically, Jungkook knows that Hoseok is right. Namjoon wouldn't let him say that.
But there's something about how things have been between them for the past couple of months that has made Jungkook skeptical and reserved, especially when it comes to understanding or knowing what Namjoon is going through.
"He sleeps in the guest bedroom when I've said something that's upset him, and sometimes I don't even know what I've said that's upset him." Jungkook whispers. "He doesn't speak about it afterwards, and it's not my place to expect him to explain, but it really hurts."
"Sometimes if the person you usually go to is the source of your pain, it's easier to hide away and not speak about it at all." Seokjin muses, "I can't speak for him, but that's a potential reason why he takes the opportunity to have space to himself."
"You're right." Jungkook sniffles, "This has been really hard and I've just been keeping it all to myself for months because I felt I didn't have a right to be upset or hurt by it considering it's my fault."
"No." Seokjin says, firmly. "Jungkook, it isn't your fault. You are the reason you both came to the realisation that there were problems that you were both avoiding, but you did nothing wrong. You left before your coworker kissed you and went home to tell Namjoon straight away. You're both allowed to struggle."
Jungkook listens intently, trying hard to accept what Seokjin offers.
"It's hard to convince myself that I'm not the problem, especially when I've been seeing how much this has tore Namjoon up."
"Perhaps it's tearing him up because he feels guilty that it's not just your fault." Seokjin offers, and Jungkook lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Oh."
"You're okay, and you deserve this space to let it all out, okay?" Hoseok takes Jungkook's hand in his. "We're here for you, no matter what happens."
"We're working it out," Jungkook almost shouts defensively, "We're—It'll be okay. We're going on holiday. It's fine."
"You love each other. It'll be fine." Hoseok agrees, and Jungkook takes a bite of his cake, feeling a little exhausted after letting everything out after months.
Jungkook does feel like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders after the coffee he'd had with his best friends. When he gets home later that afternoon, Namjoon is sitting on the couch under a blanket watching TV, and as soon as Jungkook pads into the room, he turns his head and focuses his attention on Jungkook, his smile fond.
"Hi, baby." Namjoon says, lifting the blanket to let Jungkook slide in and curl up next to Namjoon.
"Joonie," Jungkook nuzzles his face against Namjoon's shoulder, "Missed you."
"It was only a couple of hours." Namjoon laughs, "Really?"
"Can't help it if I have a crush on my husband." Jungkook mumbles.
Namjoon giggles, slipping his hand from underneath the blanket to play with Jungkook's ear. "Well, maybe I have a crush on you, too."
"Ew, you're a sap." Jungkook smiles, leaning up to look at Namjoon who has a huge grin on his face.
"Get out from underneath the blanket." Namjoon laughs, tugging the blanket as Jungkook holds onto it to keep it covering his legs.
"Hey, it's our blanket. That's what you got into when you married me."
Namjoon lets go and can't stop giggling, "Yep." He yawns, "How was coffee?"
Jungkook kind of hates remembering that things aren't 'normal' between them. It's easy to forget in these small moments, where it feels like they never stopped being madly in love with one another, Jungkook is proud to admit he has a crush on his husband ten years after they began dating.
But, it can almost always switch in a second, and Namjoon will look at Jungkook with a distant look in his eye and will go on a walk or sleep in the spare bedroom. Even after his talk with Seokjin and Hoseok, he won't blame Namjoon for sometimes closing off. They both deal with things differently, and although it hurts Jungkook a lot, he knows that Namjoon deserves the space, and he'll always respect that.
"Yeah, it was. It was nice. To just talk about things." Jungkook says, leaning his head lightly against Namjoon's shoulder again.
Namjoon hums, "It does help."
"Feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder."
"I'm glad." Namjoon nods, "I just don't want you to think that this is entirely your fault."
Jungkook hesitates.
"I'm serious, Jungkook. I have serious trust issues over an almost-kiss and you kind of give me the benefit of the doubt and it's just," He sighs, "It's just undeserved, and I feel pathetic, and I hate it. I know that you love me. I know that you wouldn't do that to me, but I still close off and you just let me."
"Because I—"
"Jungkook." Namjoon warns. "Please. It's not a you thing. It's an us thing, we both fucked up. I'm just emotionally unstable and this situation apparently unlocked some kind of trauma in my brain I'd been pretending didn't exist for the entirety of my life."
"Okay." Jungkook whispers, sliding his arm around Namjoon's chest and breathing in the scent of the lavender shampoo they share. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
The next couple of weeks after this pass like a blur, and Jungkook's proud to admit that he thinks they've had good, stable weeks. Namjoon doesn't sleep in the guest bedroom once, and Jungkook doesn't say anything that makes Namjoon frown. He thinks they're doing really good, so he's almost buzzing on the way to the airport. He holds Namjoon's hand in the taxi there, and Namjoon makes an effort to always return his hand to Jungkook's after he has to let go all the way through the horrible airport duties; checking in and security.
Namjoon stops them in front of a mirror as they're browsing in stores, "Look at us." He whispers, and Jungkook feels his face flush as he takes in the sight of him and his husband, going on their first proper holiday together.
"We look like a young couple in love." Jungkook giggles, tugging a reluctant Namjoon away from the mirror.
"It's because we are." Namjoon smiles shyly, and Jungkook's heart flutters in his chest.
The streets of the village have a beautifully traditional feel, and the villa itself is gorgeous, the photographs on the website not being able to capture the true beauty. Both of them gasp as they enter, walking through and inspecting it. The windows span almost the entirety of the property, but the villas themselves have brick walls surrounding them for privacy. The bath is huge, and Namjoon winks at Jungkook as they stop to admire it. Jungkook bites his lip, letting his imagination run wild about what Namjoon could do to him in the bath, hell, what he could do to Namjoon anywhere in here. He's ready to bless a few of these surfaces.
"Oh, this is so gorgeous." Namjoon sighs, "Get on the bed. I wanna take a photo of you."
The random request makes Jungkook bark a laugh, "What? The bed?"
"Yes, before I pound you into the mattress and ruin the sheets. Hurry." Namjoon smacks his ass and Jungkook can't stop giggling as he climbs onto the bed.
"You have a dirty mouth." Jungkook teases, and Namjoon raises an eyebrow. "Do you want me fully clothed?"
Namjoon licks his lips, face brightening at the idea. "Sexy. I want photos of both."
Jungkook nods, "How do you want me, photographer Kim?"
Namjoon chuckles, failing to hold back a smile. "Mm. Just. I don't know. Sit there. You're sexy no matter what."
Jungkook blushes at the compliment and opts to sit with his legs dangling off the bed and leaning back, supporting himself with his arms behind him as he looks lustfully into the camera—the man behind it.
Namjoon snaps a couple of photos and clicks his tongue as he admires Jungkook on the bed. "Right, baby. Take your clothes off."
Jungkook nods, taking his time as he drags his shirt above his head, knowing Namjoon is watching him intently. He keeps his eyes locked with Namjoon as he throws his shirt to the side, sliding his sweats and boxers off in one sweep and kicking them to the floor.
Namjoon sucks in a breath, "You...are you okay with me taking photos of you like this?"
"I suggested it, Joon." Jungkook replies without a second thought.
"Fuck. Fuck. Okay. This is so hot. God."
"You okay?" Jungkook smiles, tilting his head to the side, testing.
He can tell that Namjoon's demeanour is cracking. Jungkook's always known he drives Namjoon crazy, and he loves taking advantage of that. He gets back into the same position as before and waits expectantly for Namjoon to take photos.
Namjoon shakes his head as he lifts his phone. "You're going to be the death of me, Jungkook. Shit." Namjoon scrolls through the photos, "Fuck, you're really mine?"
Jungkook giggles, "Shut up, you sap. I thought you were going to pound me into the mattress?" He grabs Namjoon's arm and tugs him onto the bed next to him.
"I'm in my feels over how hot my husband is, okay? Give me a break." Namjoon smiles, his eyes glistening as he looks at Jungkook lustfully.
Jungkook smiles, feeling hot under Namjoon's gaze. "What if..."
"Mmm?" Namjoon hums, dropping his phone somewhere on the bed and caressing the side of Jungkook's face.
"What if I...pounded you into the mattress instead?" Jungkook smiles, knowing he's ruining Namjoon's cute moment.
Namjoon closes his eyes and barks a laugh, "Jeon Jungkook."
"Is that a yes?"
"Whatever you want, little one." Namjoon looks at Jungkook with a look so warm that Jungkook doesn't really know how to process it. He doesn't want to focus too much on it, so he gets on his knees and climbs over Namjoon, sitting on top of his thighs.
"Hi." Jungkook smiles, and Namjoon huffs a breath.
"Hi."
"You're wearing too many clothes." Jungkook states, sliding Namjoon's shirt off of his head, intentionally catching his thumbs on Namjoon's nipples as he slides his hand up his chest.
Namjoon hisses and grips Jungkook's hips. "Careful, baby."
Jungkook licks his lips, raising his eyebrow before grinding down against Namjoon's erection, who tightens his grip on his hips.
"Not listening." Jungkook teases. "Need the lube. Open my baby up. Your sweats better be off before I get back." Jungkook says confidently, climbing off Namjoon and walking over to their suitcases, sliding his hand in the front pocket of his and retrieving it.
When he turns back to Namjoon, who is now sweat-less, his eyes are looking a little glazed over and his mouth agape as he marvels at Jungkook.
"Is this real?" Namjoon mumbles, and Jungkook chuckles.
He climbs back onto the bed. "C'mon, up you get." Jungkook coaxes Namjoon to crawl back so his head is rested on the pillows. He settles himself between Namjoon's thighs and mouths at them as he wastes no time fingering him open. Namjoon's whines sound so gorgeous, Jungkook thinks to himself, wishing there was a way he could file them away to revisit them whenever he wanted.
"Fuck, Joonie. You sound so pretty." Jungkook chokes, looking up at Namjoon who's grabbing the headboard and his facial expression filled with pure bliss. "God, so fucked out already. Didn't know you wanted it this bad?"
"Jungkook, please. Fuck." Namjoon groans, squirming as Jungkook curls his fingers to rub against Namjoon's prostate, drawing more pretty sounds from him. “You know how long it’s been.”
Jungkook sits up and repositions himself so he can lean down and flick Namjoon's nipples with his tongue, teasing and sucking as Namjoon falls apart below him. They've done this enough for Jungkook to know when Namjoon's hit his limit, when he's stretched enough and when he's close to coming. He slides his fingers out and warms up the lube between his hands, slicking himself up before positioning himself above Namjoon. He takes a moment to drink Namjoon in, his gorgeous face with sweat droplets dripping down his neck already, his bottom lip swollen from where Namjoon's been biting back his moans. Jungkook quickly leans down to capture Namjoon's lips, lining himself against Namjoon's hole and taking it slow as he enters him. Namjoon gasps against his lips, squirming below him and Jungkook pushes himself up to rest his weight on his hands so he can watch Namjoon to gauge his pleasure. Namjoon looks at Jungkook and nods, so Jungkook continues pushing until Namjoon whines uncomfortably, stopping for a moment until Namjoon nods again, wrapping his arms around Jungkook's back and digging in his nails when Jungkook bottoms out.
"Missed you like this." Namjoon whispers a little strained, "Move baby, please."
Jungkook takes a moment, preparing himself before he drags himself out and thrusts slowly back in, setting a steady pace. Namjoon whines and grips onto Jungkook desperately, the feeling of Namjoon touching him and hearing Namjoon's whines making Jungkook feel overwhelmed, the heat building in his gut slowly spreading across his body.
He leans down and switches his weight to his elbows, holding his face just above Namjoon's and biting his lip as he watches Namjoon fall apart underneath him.
"Joonie, you're so gorgeous." Jungkook breathes, admiring him.
Namjoon looks up at him through hooded eyes, "I love you, feels so good when you fill me up like this."
The dirty talk makes Jungkook's hips stutter a little, accidentally picking up his pace as a reaction, and Namjoon moans every time his cock drags against his prostate.
"I love you Jungkookie."
"I love you so much, Joonie." Jungkook leans and whispers in Namjoon's ear, "Feel so good around my cock, don't you?" He teases.
"Ah, I do, I do," Namjoon pants, "You feel so big inside me, ah, ah."
The praise goes straight to Jungkook's gut, feeling how tight Namjoon is around him and the pleasure clouding his vision as the heat engulfs his body, his hips stuttering from the pleasure.
"Oh God, Joonie. Gonna come." Jungkook whines, trying to hold himself up as he's riding the waves of pleasure, erratically thrusting into Namjoon's tight heat.
"Touch me, Jungkook, please."
Jungkook struggles, leaning his weight on one hand as he reaches between their sweaty chests, wrapping his hand around Namjoon's cock and stroking him to orgasm. Namjoon falling apart beneath him is enough to tip him over the edge, choking a moan as he releases his load inside of Namjoon. He leans down and kisses Namjoon's forehead.
"Love you, Joonie."
"Ah," Namjoon whines, blinking slowly, he looks exhausted. "Love you."
They fall asleep after Jungkook clears them both up, fatigue from the flight catching up on them quickly.
When they wake, it's almost dark outside, and Namjoon cuddles into Jungkook before groaning.
"We should get up and take a walk, maybe find somewhere to eat." He mumbles, his face against Jungkook's chest.
Jungkook hums in agreement, letting them both rest for another couple of minutes before getting them both out of bed and into the shower.
There's something about being in another country on holiday that makes their attraction to one another at levels Jungkook can't fathom, because before they manage to clean themselves up, Namjoon has Jungkook pinned against the bathroom wall, mouthing at his neck with his hand wrapped around Jungkook's cock.
Jungkook definitely isn't complaining, though.
They manage to locate a restaurant after taking a wander through the village outside of the resort, eating their body weight in soba, making the most of the authentic food. Jungkook leads the conversations, his Japanese a little more refined than Namjoon's, (which he makes up for in his fluency in English), and Jungkook always finds that there's a little fond glimmer in Namjoon's eye after he's spoken Japanese with the locals.
It's after he spots Namjoon doing it once they've paid that he calls him out on it.
"You alright there?" Jungkook smirks.
"Just admiring some hot guy, flexing his fluency in Japanese and looking after me." Namjoon smiles back, dropping his head and hiding his smile with his hand.
He does this when he's embarrassed. Jungkook feels warm just watching him, wishing he wouldn't hide his gorgeous smile.
He plays along, though.
Jungkook looks around behind him in the restaurant, "Who the fuck is taking my husband's attention from me?" He mutters.
Namjoon giggles from behind his hand, and Jungkook wonders if maybe this is what walking on clouds feels like.
He feels light and airy as they walk hand in hand through the village, back to the resort and down to the beach for a night time walk. It's almost empty, only a couple of people occupying spots on the beach as they stroll silently. It feels like a dream, not even their honeymoon feeling as unreal as this, and Jungkook could burst right now. When the thoughts about the fact that things between them aren't fully fixed yet flood his mind, he wills them away, squeezing Namjoon's hand a little tighter.
Jungkook honestly thought that maybe it'd take a little longer for it to bubble back to the surface, even being desperate enough in hoping that maybe it wouldn't dampen their holiday once.
It comes on their third day in Taketomi.
They spent the previous day down on the beach catching a tan, returning back to the villa for Namjoon to undress Jungkook almost immediately, pinning him against the huge windows and fucking him from behind, the thrill of someone catching them making Jungkook's orgasm hit a little harder than any other, (they both knew no one would see as the villas are surrounded by brick walls, but the thought of it was exciting enough).
Namjoon began crying while Jungkook was riding him, and usually, this wouldn't really bother Jungkook. Both of them can become emotional when it comes to making love to one another, they're both sappy as fuck when it comes to each other.
But Namjoon is blubbering, gripping Jungkook's hips and begging him to tell him that he's the only person he'll ever want.
"Please, Jungkook. Please." Namjoon cries, and Jungkook stills his hips. “Please tell me.”
"Hey, Joonie. Hey, hey. Whoa."
Namjoon blinks at Jungkook, a moment of silence between them, before sucking in his lips and letting the tears flow freely. Jungkook slides off of Namjoon, feeling his own arousal disappear completely at the sight of Namjoon upset, and he lies next to Namjoon on the bed and takes his face in his hands.
"Baby, talk to me." Jungkook whispers, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away Namjoon's silent tears.
"I'm sorry." Namjoon croaks, "I'm ruining everything all the time."
"No. No you're not." Jungkook affirms, "You're not ruining anything. I promise."
Namjoon sniffles, his lips a little pouted and he focuses his attention on Jungkook. Jungkook feels his heart shatter, hating that he's done this to Namjoon, knowing no words or affirmations he can say can ever mend Namjoon's trust.
"You didn't do anything wrong." Namjoon whispers, "I hate that I feel this way, I hate that I make you feel like you did something wrong, like you were unfaithful. You weren't Jungkook, and I love you. My brain is horrible to me and now it makes me take it out on you."
"I want you no matter what, whether your brain is mean or nice to you. I wish it was nice to you, preferably, but sadly we can't choose that. Joonie's brain is just a little too smart sometimes, it works overtime." Jungkook taps Namjoon's forehead lightly and smiles slightly, planting a small kiss on his nose.
"I don't want this to ruin anymore of our holiday, okay? I'm sorry."
"You're not ruining anything. We're taking things day by day, and we knew coming on this holiday didn't automatically mean everything would magically be fixed the second we walked off that plane."
Namjoon nods, burying his face against Jungkook's chest, and Jungkook wraps his arms around Namjoon and softly runs his hands through Namjoon's hair.
"Should we order room service tonight? Stay in bed and watch a film?" Jungkook suggests; kissing the hair on Namjoon's forehead.
Namjoon whines, "No. God, I'm ruining it. Wasting our time."
"It's our holiday, and we can spend it how we want it." Jungkook states, "Anyway, I wanted to try the room service. They wouldn't offer it if it wasn't there to use, would they?"
Namjoon giggles, "Okay. Maybe you have a point."
"I always do." Jungkook smiles.
They spend the rest of the evening cuddling and watching a film, the room service food being far more impressive than they expected. Jungkook keeps talking about it, and Namjoon chuckles, hitting him and telling him to stop trying to compensate for Namjoon ruining their evening. Even though Jungkook keeps reassuring Namjoon that he's being serious, Namjoon still doesn't believe him, and Jungkook realises that this is something he'll have to accept will happen sometimes, and that they'll work through it.
As much as Jungkook really wished they'd manage to make it through the week without sad tears, he couldn't feel upset that they did come. He can't feel upset at Namjoon or blame him for how he's struggling with this. Maybe there'll come a time in the future that they can visit again, maybe they can come back and rent a villa again, reminisce on the time that they came here during a rough time in their marriage, but in that time in the future, they're absolutely fine and get to enjoy it without the baggage.
And that's it, Jungkook thinks. No matter how long this takes, he knows he'll be waiting for the time that they're finally on the other side of this, to a point in their lives that they can look back on this as a memory.
The rest of the week is smooth sailing, neither of them making a move on each other to go any further than just passionate makeout sessions, which Jungkook deems as safe. He doesn't want to push anywhere that could trigger Namjoon's insecurity or anxiety about their relationship. This holiday is for healing, and for moving forward. He has enjoyed becoming romantically intimate with Namjoon again, but Namjoon's happiness is far more important. They spend the next few days exploring the island and laying together in the sun on the resort beach. Namjoon reads a lot, and Jungkook listens to podcasts, only one airpod in, just in case Namjoon wants to talk to him about the book he's reading.
When they take a bubble bath together after their last day in the sun, Jungkook lets Namjoon tease his nipples before slowly and gently touching him until he climaxes, whispering encouragements from behind. He decides that denying Namjoon of that could've potentially upset him, so he gives himself that.
As they arrive back in Seoul, the heat is scorching, the kind that makes your sweat uncontrollable and your clothes stick to your skin.
"God, the heat in Taketomi was far more bearable." Namjoon sighs, digging in his backpack for his handheld fan as they wait for the train home.
Jungkook chuckles, smiling at Namjoon. "It's home, though." He sighs wistfully.
Namjoon turns to him with a glimmer in his eye, returning Jungkook's smile. "Yeah. You're right. Home."
"Our lovely apartment with amazing air conditioning." Jungkook giggles.
Namjoon nods, pulling Jungkook closer to direct the mini stream of air from the fan to cool them both, "Yeah. Can't wait to be home with you, as much as I'll miss Taketomi."
"Me too, Joonie."
Jungkook thinks that maybe it was their talk in Taketomi that was what switched things when it came to their progress. He's not entirely sure how to pinpoint when or what it was, but if he could, it would've been then.
Because ever since their trip to Taketomi back in June, Namjoon hasn't cried sad tears, nor has he looked at Jungkook with a distant look in his eye if Jungkook says the wrong thing.
Namjoon seems genuinely happy in a way that Jungkook hasn't seen in years, and Namjoon's happiness has radiated and completely engulfed Jungkook. His cheeks hurt from smiling whenever they're together, and almost everything feels like an adventure with Namjoon.
They return to the restaurant they went on their imaginary first date on, pretending that it maybe was another one of their dates further down the line of their fake dating timeline.
They visit hiking trails they often go on, sometimes trying new routes and maybe once or twice getting lost, but Jungkook is certain there's no one else he'd want to get lost with.
Namjoon takes Jungkook to Lotte World as a surprise one weekend, leading him to the Camelot Carousel and gripping his hand tightly, giving him a light kiss on his head and bringing him into a hug.
"I love you, Jungkookie. I'd never change anything."
Jungkook can't pretend like Namjoon doesn't cry happy tears, though.
The months pass just like this, and before they know it, Namjoon is kissing Jungkook and wishing him a happy birthday. It's midnight on a Friday night, and Namjoon has made him stay up so he can blow out his candle at midnight.
"Make a wish, little one." Namjoon grins, holding out the red velvet cupcake he's stuck a candle in.
Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes in, ready to blow out the candle.
Namjoon's happiness.
"Did you make a wish?"
Jungkook nods.
Namjoon and Jungkook's birthday party is a yearly event that they host at their apartment, never bothering with separate ones. Their birthdays are far too close to one another's, and they'd rather make the celebrations as easy and quick as possible. Namjoon had suggested that this year they should have a go at baking their own birthday cake, and Jungkook's happy to give it a try. They're both extremely average at cooking, and Jungkook's never tried his hand at baking, but he doesn't expect he'll be much better at baking than he is cooking. Doing new things with Namjoon is fun, though, so he's excited for it.
And it goes how he expects: it's a disaster.
He's delegating jobs between them as he reads the recipe from his phone, and he asks Namjoon to use the hand mixer to slowly mix the wet ingredients with the dry ones. Jungkook watches in horror as Namjoon sticks the hand mixer into the bowl of powder and turn it up to high, the metal against the bowl spinning with so much force it begins spinning, too. Namjoon quickly grabs onto it with his other hand, but the damage has been done. There's flour everywhere . The counters, Namjoon's apron, all over his face. He quickly turns the hand mixer off after squawking a little and it all happens so fast, that when the whirring sound comes to an abrupt stop, and Namjoon looks at Jungkook with a confused pout on his powdered face, Jungkook can't help but giggle.
"Hey!" Namjoon whines, and his pout is so damn cute, Jungkook wants to kiss it away so badly.
"Baby," Jungkook coos, walking to Namjoon, "What are you doing, silly?"
Namjoon's pout doesn't budge, and Jungkook doesn't expect it when Namjoon swipes his hand over Jungkook's face, covering him with flour, too.
Jungkook gasps dramatically, reaching into the bowl and grabbing a fistful to retaliate. There's a lot of giggling and squealing that happens, Jungkook feeling his heartbeat pick up as a result of trying hard to dodge Namjoon's attacks, but also the excitement of having fun with his husband.
He stops in his tracks, taking a moment to focus his attention on Namjoon, his face that's covered in flour, his huge smile and glimmering eyes. He's in love with him.
He's so fucking in love with him he doesn't know what to do with himself.
"Namjoon, is it too early to ask you to renew our vows?" Jungkook blurts, his mouth speaking faster than his mind can process it.
Namjoon's face falls into something Jungkook isn't sure he wants to understand.
He brings his powdery hands to Jungkook's cheek, his eyes looking like they're about to spill over, and plants a chaste kiss against Jungkook's lips.
"Jeon Jungkook, I'd be an idiot if I said no."