Chapter Text
--saturdays are for the boys
mercuti_ohno: you fucking asshole
the.ben: romeo
bromeo: what
bromeo: i didn’t do anything
mercuti_ohno: can u not piss off juliet for like ten seconds
mercuti_ohno: she’s the only thing getting me through physics
mercuti_ohno: now she’s mad at you and won’t give me the homework
bromeo: i didn’t piss her off i stg
mercuti_ohno: yeah u fucking did
mercuti_ohno: i have physics in fifteen minutes
bromeo: i swear i didn’t do anything
the.ben: i literally watched you spill like eight pounds of pink glitter into her backpack
bromeo: oh that was nothing lmao
mercuti_ohno: 👁️👄👁️
the.ben: she spent the rest of the period screaming at you
the.ben: like just in the middle of math
bromeo: oh dw about that it was romantic
mercuti_ohno: romeo what the fuck is wrong with you
bromeo: what it was nice
mercuti_ohno: what in gods name would make you think that that is nice
mercuti_ohno: go apologize to juliet
bromeo: i didn’t do anything wrong
the.ben: pls just do it
the.ben: tell her you’ll help fix anything you messed up
bromeo: ok fine i’ll text you assholes later ❤️
the.ben: ❤️
the.ben: see mercutio was that so bad
the.ben: it’ll all be fine
mercuti_ohno: if he doesn’t piss her off again
the.ben: eh
the.ben: do you wanna get ice cream after school
mercuti_ohno: oh yeah meet me out front
---
bromeo: guys
bromeo: guys guess what
the.ben: what
mercuti_ohno: she texted me the answers so we good
bromeo: me and juliet are going on a date tmrw
mercuti_ohno: what the FUCK
the.ben: congrats but uhh what
the.ben: she yelled at you for fifteen minutes not even an hour ago
mercuti_ohno: she fucking hates you dude
bromeo: she thought the glitter was romantic once i explained it to her
mercuti_ohno: i just lost so much respect for juliet holy shit
mercuti_ohno: you’re such a dick to her
bromeo: wdym i flirt with her all the time
mercuti_ohno: romeo i love you (no homo) but ur idea of flirting is painting her locker with really ugly hearts
the.ben: mercutio ur literally bi
bromeo: it was sweet!!
mercuti_ohno: it was vandalism
bromeo: ok assholes i’m adding her to the gc
the.ben: nono nonononoo make a new one
the.ben: have you read half the shit mercutio just said
the.ben: he’s an asshole but you can’t fuck with his hw plug
mercuti_ohno: yeah pls don’t make me actually learn physics
---
bromeo has created a new chat
bromeo has added mercuti_ohno
bromeo has added the.ben
bromeo has added julieee
bromeo: hey guys!!
julieee: heyyy 💞
the.ben: hi julie!!
the.ben: what are you doing with my cousin ur way too good for him
bromeo has named the chat ap lit gang
bromeo: hey what the fuck
julieee: did you guys do the lit project yet
mercuti_ohno: answer for your crimes juliet
julieee: idk he’s nice
mercuti_ohno: no he’s not
the.ben: when i came out to him he asked if i was gonna ask him out
bromeo: dude i told you i was sorry
the.ben: we’re literally cousins
bromeo: i’m sorry!!!!
mercuti_ohno: AHAHAHAHAHAHA I REMEMBER THAT
mercuti_ohno: JULIE DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE MONTH WHEN ROMEO KEPT HARASSING BEN TO MAKE HIM LISTEN TO LADY GAGA SONGS HE DOWNLOADED
julieee: was that the time he kept trying to chase him down in between classes
julieee: and during lunch
julieee: and during classes
mercuti_ohno: THAT WAS HIM TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE
julieee: NO
bromeo: I WAS DOING MY BEST
julieee: so none of you started the lit project?
bromeo: what lit project
the.ben: bruh
the.ben: it’s due monday
the.ben: and since i know juliet’s the only one who can do math, that’s in three days
mercuti_ohno: thanks for the confidence in my ability to count on my fingers
mercuti_ohno: what’s the project
julieee: basically you analyze one of the characters in the play but like rlly deep
julieee: three pages on their development as a character and then you need to put together a presentation about their traits and something else that’s up to you
julieee: mrs. marvin gave absolutely no guidance on what that something else bc she’s a shitty teacher
the.ben: bonus points if you present in character
mercuti_ohno: i’m gonna do mine on why cyrano and christian definitely should’ve hooked up
bromeo: what book are we reading
mercuti_ohno: dude even i finished reading
julieee: cyrano de bergerac
bromeo: gesundheit 😀
mercuti_ohno: wait i can’t name a single trait of any of the characters
the.ben: i can help you
bromeo: wait juliet can you help me
julieee: lets see how the date goes first lmao
mercuti_ohno: ben, my place after ice cream?
the.ben: perfect
