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Hawks could have looked like a phoenix. Soaring through the sky with fiery wings, elegant and powerful. A sight worthy of the No. 2 hero. The man who was too fast for his own good.
He could have.
Truth is, he looked more like a prey, trying to escape a hunter’s last shot. There was nothing majestic about the way Hawks struggled to keep himself off the ground, feathers slowly turning to ash as blue flames licked at them. There was nothing powerful about the excruciating pain that shot through his back muscles and spread through his entire body at every single flap of his wings. And there was nothing elegant about his burnt and torn clothes, or the oozing burn wounds that covered his body and his shallow and ragged breath.
The sight of the winged hero was a pitiful one.
He could’ve said that it wasn’t a problem, and that he had at least succeeded in his mission, but that would be a lie too. He had shown hesitation in killing Twice, and had let his attachment to the villain get the best of him. He had lowered his guard and let himself get severely injured by Dabi, who he hadn’t even sensed coming.
In that moment, he had let his emotions overcome him. The guilt of betraying the man he had spent most of his nights with during the past few months. The heartbreak of seeing the pain and betrayal in his eyes, well hidden behind his apathetic expression. Hearing the strain in his voice and the venom spit with his words. Hands that once caressed his skin so gently, pinning him down and beating him up.
Hawks had known for months that this time would come, but he had prefered to lie to himself, saying it was all “part of the mission”, that when the time came, he wouldn’t have second thoughts about betraying - maybe even killing- Dabi.
But it’s all that it had been: a lie. And now reality had come back to punch him in the face.
The villains had gained the upper hand from the moment Shigaraki had awakened, and he had heard through the comms about Endeavor’s fight against the decay villain. Apparently, his son Shouto had rushed to the Jaku Hospital, leaving his position as soon as he had heard that the confrontation was going downhill.
That’s where Hawks was heading now, praying that the kid and his father were by some miracle still alive. He had fucked up plenty already. He couldn’t let the Number 1 hero and his son die on top of that.
Sweat gleaming on his face, Hawks clenched his teeth, trying to suppress the pained cries rising from his throat at every movement of his wings. The fire was almost out thanks to his speed and altitude, but the damage was done. He hadn’t dared to look at his injuries, but already knew he needed immediate medical assistance. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t afford such a luxury. Especially when Eraserhead was buying as much time as he could before Shigaraki could fully unleash his decay powers. He couldn’t waste that precious time. Not when he couldn’t even come close to his usual speed.
“You.” Dabi’s voice startled him. It was so much lower than usual, animalistic almost.
Hawks was looming over Twice’s lifeless body, turning his back on the man who was now standing in the doorway. He didn’t look behind him and kept staring at the corpse, a lump forming in his throat as his chest tightened.
This was it.
He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a shuddering breath and tried to accelerate. He deserved the pain. The scene replaying in his mind, he wanted to feel it. Every single bit of it.
“How could you.” Dabi bellowed. Hawks heard steps. His pace was slow, threatening. Each step echoed in the dead silence of the room. With each of them, he could feel the illusion they had lived in crumble.
Heat. Burning fury. Smoke rose and filled his lungs. He breathed it in as his body moved on autopilot. He turned, his face emotionless as his heart started to crack.
Faster. He had to go faster. The Jaku Hospital was almost in sight, he could recognize the skyline from where he was.
His face was met with a strong fist that made him take a few steps back. He tripped over something and fell on the ground. Looking down, he realized he had stumbled over Twice. He felt sick.
“Look at him, hero . Look at the man who considered you his friend.” he sneered “You fucking traitor.” his voice was calm. Too calm.
Hawks couldn’t lift his head. He didn’t want to meet his eyes.
“Look at me .” Dabi’s hand grabbed his face and turned it violently towards his. Piercing blue eyes met dull golden ones. These beautiful turquoise eyes had never glared at him with such anger, not even when they first met. For the first time they were also full of hurt. Pure hurt and betrayal, that he quickly masked behind his fury.
But Hawks saw it. And his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
He was almost there. He could see the building, with a gaping hole on the roof, showing the destruction inside. Just a few more seconds. He hoped he wasn’t too late. He hoped he could still do one good thing.
Dabi’s hand pushed Hawks’ head onto the floor, and for a second he thought he might actually crack it. The strength Dabi used was impressive and didn’t match his body. Hawks groaned into his hand. Dabi stepped on his chest and he started heaving, gasping for air.
“You happy number 2? Your infiltration mission was a fucking success. Even I believed you!” Dabi pressed his foot further and Hawks let out a muffled scream into his hand, feeling his ribs crack. “Too bad you were only able to kill one of us before I caught you.” his manic smile sent shivers through Hawks’ spine. “Were you gonna kill me too huh? You get me in your bed, let me fuck you...” his grip on his face tightened and Hawks’ eyes widened as he felt his hand heat up “All that so you can stab me with one of these feathers of yours? So fucking heroic!”
The foot left his chest and Dabi used the hand on the hero’s face to lift him up. He coughed, a coppery taste filling his mouth and stared at Dabi with glassy eyes. His hand was now definitely burning the skin on his face and he whined faintly, every sound or breath sending a shooting pain in his ribcage.
“You’re even worse than the rest of them.” he snarled, his hand still heating up. A charcoal like smell filled Hawks’ nose as he struggled to stay conscious through the pain. If he didn’t do anything, Dabi’s hand was going to burst with fire and he would die.
Maybe dying at Dabi’s hands would be the right thing. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
No. He couldn’t die. Not now. Not while the heroes were desperately trying to regain advantage. Not when the fate of the entire country laid on the outcome of this battle.
He grabbed one of his primary feathers, using it to pull himself out of Dabi’s grip and out of the window as the fire erupted from his hand. His cry came out as a croak as part of his wings caught fire, but he managed not to fall. One of his smallest feathers flew across the room, hiding under the flames and he sharpened it, preparing to stab Dabi as soon as the fire dissipated.
Taking a small, shaky breath, he readied himself to kill his… target? Hook up? Friend?
It didn’t matter anymore, he had to get it together.
When the fire disappeared, the villain didn’t have time to react. The feather was already inches away from his throat. He paused, staring at it, unmoving. His eyes came up to the hero, full of hurt and defeat, his shoulders slumped with a bitter smile. That’s when Hawks was supposed to do it. Give the feather it’s final push to kill his…
Lover.
He froze.
No. No, no, no.
This was the worst moment to come to terms with his feelings for the man he had to kill. He couldn’t do it. No matter how much his brain told him to, he couldn’t. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he called back the feather to his wings.
Dabi narrowed his eyes at the hero, mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out. He stared into his eyes, as if scanning for answers, and a sad smile formed on Hawks’ lips. Without wasting a second, he flew away from the building.
He loved Dabi.
But Dabi would hate him forever.
Hawks landed on the hospital floor, sharpening one of the few primary feathers he had left. He was exhausted from the flight and his previous fight, panting and knees slightly wobbling, but he tried to hide it as much as possible. He still had some fight in him and he would use it to save Endeavor, Shouto and Eraserhead. Even if it was the last thing he did.
“Hawks!” he heard as soon as he landed.
“Hey Eraserhead, Todoroki kid. Sorry for the late intervention.” he waved at them.
“But… you’re in no shape to fight!” Shouto worried. He was one to talk. His shirt was stained with the blood dripping from his shoulder and he had multiple bruises. His hand gripped his most likely dislocated shoulder. Hawks wondered how long the teenager had fought in that state. Given the numerous blocks of ice scattered along with the rubble and the amount of sweat mostly on the boy’s left side, it had been a long fight that had used a lot of the kid’s energy. He was nearing the limits of his quirks.
“Ehh, I’ve been worse, don't worry about me. I’m still in better shape then mister number 1 over there.” he pointed at Endeavor.
He grimaced at the sight. The flame hero was passed out against a wall, covered in blood. He looked barely alive.
“Well, well. The traitor decided to join the party.” the voice of Shigaraki, standing amidst the rubble made him shiver.
“Ohoh! I see the news spread fast!” he grinned, tilting his head back.
“Traitor? Hawks, what is he talking about?” Eraserhead chimed in.
Right. That was a problem too.
“Long story, Eraserhead. You’ll know the details if we survive this. For now, all you need to know is I’m on your side.” he said more seriously, glancing at him.
It was bad. Eraserhead’s eyes were red from the amount of time he had spent his eyes opened and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it up for much longer. If they were going to beat Shigaraki, they were going to have to do it fast.
None of the two heroes tried to push the topic, fully aware that they didn’t have time to doubt the only backup they had finally received, which Hawks was thankful for.
“Careful. Even without the ability to use his quirks, he’s extremely strong.” Shouto said.
“So I’ve heard. Eraser, how long do you think you can keep holding his quirks back?”
“I’ll try my best but don’t take your sweet time.”
“Roger that!” he launched himself at Shigaraki as soon as he answered, sharpening the primary feather he held.
Shigaraki was maybe strong, but Hawks was fast and as long as none of his new quirks worked, all he had to do was to get a clean cut. Aiming at the villain's neck, his vision blurred for a second and he lost his balance, ending up on the ground with a loud thud.
Everything went silent for a second, the winged hero trying to comprehend what had just happened. Staring at the ground, his eyes widened, Hawks’ realized that he had poorly evaluated what was left of his strength. Shigaraki seemed to notice that as well, because his wary expression turned into a vicious smirk.
“What is it number 2? Did you overestimate your abilities ?” he snickered “How pathetic. You’ll just die as you lived: a useless piece of self-sacrificing trash who thought he was better than us. And in the end, all you did was for nothing.” his chapped lips gave his toothy grin a sickening aspect behind his father’s hand.
Chest heaving, Hawks’ begged his legs to let him get up, but they wouldn’t obey him. He couldn’t move or protect himself in any way. He stared powerless at the villain walking towards him with a blood-curdling laugh.
Suddenly, his eye caught movement from behind Shigaraki. Shouto leaped at the man forming an ice dagger in his right hand. He wanted to tell him to stay out of this and to make a run for it, but it was too late. The villain had already turned around and took Shouto’s wrist with one hand, his head with the other and sent him plummeting to the ground.
If Eraserhead wasn’t blocking his quirk, the kid would be dead.
Adrenaline surged in his system at the thought, enough to get him on his feet. Shigaraki’s five fingers were still on Shouto’s head and Eraserhead wouldn’t last much longer. He needed to at least save the kid. Without a second thought, he threw himself at Shigaraki and sent him a few steps back. Using one of his very few functioning feathers, he carried the boy next to Endeavor, for him to be at a somewhat safe distance from the villain. From his weight, Hawks assumed he was unconscious. His feather still picked up a steady heartbeat and no anomalies in his body’s vibrations. He would be fine.
Before he could turn back to his opponent, he felt a balled fist make contact with his stomach, all the air getting sucked out of his lungs as he was sent flying across the room. Was it possible for all his organs to be smashed like bugs by a punch in the gut? If it were, that was probably how it felt like. Hawks landed a few feet away from where he had been standing, unable to even gasp for air for a few seconds. His hands were brought to his stomach as he curled onto himself, the world spinning around him. As soon as he was able to suck in a deep breath, he felt bile rise up his throat and ended up throwing up on the floor.
“Hawks! You okay?” he heard Eraserhead call and raised a thumb weakly at him.
“Damn Tomura, ya need to give me some work out tips!” he croaked as he sat up, wiping his mouth.
Shigaraki made his way towards the heroes, his hand still curled into a fist. In a last attempt to succeed, Hawks sent off what was left of his sharpened feathers towards Shigaraki as fast as he could, hoping that despite his dizziness at least some of them would reach their target.
About a dozen of them pierced through the villain’s skin and Hawks could’ve cried out in victory at the sight.
Except he didn’t.
Because as soon as the feathers pierced through his body, the wounds closed almost instantly as Shigaraki cackled manically, holding one of the feathers in his hand. It turned to dust in less than a second. They all did.
Oh no.
Hawks turned his head, glancing back at Eraser.
“Ahh. I’m sorry. I tried to hold on as long as I could.” he panted, his closed eyes dripping with tears.
Fuck.
They were all fucked.
Shigaraki brought his hand in front of his face, smiling through his father’s hand. “Finally. I’m gonna destroy everything. Every bit of the world you heroes created will be turned to dust.” his eyes met Hawks’ and his blood froze “Starting with you. The traitor, the number one hero, his son and the bastard who fucked my plan up at the USJ.” Shigaraki wasn’t anything like the bratty leader Hawks had learned to know during his infiltration. No. What he had in front of him was a king. A king of despair and chaos, but a king nonetheless. He felt himself quiver at the sight.
The fall of the No. 1 hero. No. The fall of hero society as a whole. Hawks could see it now. There was nothing he could do. Not when an enhanced Shigaraki was standing in front of them, ready to decay them with one touch to the ground. Not when Endeavor and his son were lying unconscious behind the winged hero and Eraserhead, who were desperately trying to shield them, knowing it was useless. Not when Hawks himself was rendered defenseless with his wings gone.
Everything was lost. This was it.
He closed his eyes, waiting for his body to disintegrate, when he saw a burst of scorching blue light through his eyelids. It burned. It didn’t hurt, but it felt really close and really hot. So close he could almost feel himself melting at the heat.
Opening his eyes, Hawks gaped at the blue flames that circled them and the silhouette that stood in front of him, blocking the sight of Shigaraki.
Intense turquoise eyes met bewildered golden ones.
Hawks couldn’t understand Dabi’s expression. It was glistening with a strong emotion that he couldn’t read. His heart sped up. What was he doing here? Did he want to kill him with his own hands? Would Shigaraki let him?
Dabi’s stare moved towards Endeavor, and his face contorted into an ugly grimace, anger pulling at his staples as he murdered the No. 1 hero with his eyes.
“I was so close…” he growled through gritted teeth. He turned to Shouto and then to Hawks. No hatred in his eyes. His expression held something else… fondness? No. Why would Dabi look at them like that? “You two really had to fuck this up for me did you?” he uttered, without true venom in his voice.
His eyes lingered on Hawks, who looked back at him dumbfounded. He wanted to say something, anything , but no words would come out of his mouth.
“What the hell are you doing Dabi? You’re in my way. I thought we had the same goals.” Shigaraki bellowed.
“Yeah. Well…” he sighed, turning towards the villain “Turns out they don’t align anymore. So... go to hell, I guess.” he raised his arms to Shigaraki, smoke rising up from his skin.
Blue flames erupted from his hands and engulfed the decay villain. Both Hawks and Eraserhead who had regained his vision gaped at the scene in front of them. Their skin felt like it was going to peel off from the heat, even though none of the flames were aimed at them.
“What the hell is going on?” Eraser had thrown himself to the ground by reflex to protect himself and turned his eyes to Hawks, looking for answers. The winged hero was as baffled as Eraser looked.
“I-” His eyes were glued to Dabi and no other sounds would reach his mouth.
Why? was the only word he had in mind.
Through the fire, he could see a silhouette taking heavy steps towards them. Dabi seemed to struggle more and more as his arms were burning up. He howled, as Hawks could feel the temperature of his flames rising, but Shigaraki was still moving. He could see him better now that he was closer. His skin burned to a crisp, cracking and falling out, leaving place to a brand new layer, again and again. Dabi’s fire had reached the power of Endeavor’s Hell Flame and the decay villain was still perfectly fine. The sick bastard was even grinning from ear to ear. Dabi on the other hand, looked more affected by the fire than his target. There was nothing human about him anymore.
“Fuck, you’re stronger than I thought you’d be, boss. Your regeneration’s really a pain in my ass.” chuckled and lowered his arms. “Guess I really have to go all out huh?”
“Your fire won’t do anything against me. I’m not scared of a poor piece of shit who sides with the guy who manipulated him. You’re fucking weak, Dabi. And you’re gonna die just like the traitor who doesn’t give a shit about you.” Shigaraki sneered.
“I think you’re a little too confident, Handjob. You can’t regenerate if all that’s left of you are ashes. And I’ll make sure there’s nothing left to burn.” he paused. The air hung heavy around the room. Even the heroes didn’t dare to utter a word “And I never gave a shit about Hawks anyway.” Dabi added and the winged hero’s eyes narrowed, not finding any anger in Dabi’s voice.
He turned to the maimed heroes, either unconscious or unable to get back up and his gaze lingered on Shouto. No one understood his quivery smile at the boy or the tender look he gave him. Hawks had never seen such an expression on Dabi. At least not without it being hidden by an apathetic mask he could only see through when he tried hard enough. His face was so full of emotion, so different. It reminded the winged hero of a soft familiar face he still saw in his dreams sometimes. His heart stopped as Dabi’s peaceful blue irises landed on him.
“Take care of my little brother for me… Takami Keigo.”
Hawks’ breath caught in his throat, mouth falling open. It had been years since he last heard his name. The only person who still used it after he got his hero name had died a long time ago. Images of a young red haired boy overtook his mind.
“This is Hawks. He is part of the hero training program you will be joining from today. You two will be training together. This program is Endeavor’s last hope for you. I hope for your sake that you will take this seriously.” The woman with a black suit told the boy she had entered the room with. His head hung low and his shoulders slumped, he nodded slightly.
“Hi!” Hawks greeted excitedly, holding out a hand to him.
He blinked at Dabi, his heart sinking into his stomach. No. It couldn’t be.
“What’s your name?”
“Uh? It’s Hawks, you know that!”
“I don’t give a shit about your hero name! What’s your real one?”
When had his entire body started to shake? The man who was standing in front of him, the man he loved. His words echoed with the sounds of his past. He wanted to scream, to punch him, to yell at him. How could he not tell him?
In the silence of their room, the red haired boy sniffled as a bruised Keigo was tending to his burns.
“I’m sorry.” he whimpered through his cries.
“I’m fine! Plus, I beat you up pretty bad too. It’s just training Tou, don’t worry about it. Besides, we’re always gonna be here for each other right?” he told him reassuringly, closing the ointment container after he finished tending to his friend’s burns. The boy wiped his tears and nodded with a wobbly smile.
“Your turn now.” He said with more confidence as he took the first aid kit.
He wanted to hold him, cry into his arms and tell him he was sorry.
A comforting hand rested on his back as Keigo was weeping.
“I’m gonna be a terrible hero.” he sniffled “If I let the villain go in this simulation I’m never gonna be good enough in real life!” the arm comforting him tensed.
“Who cares if you’re not the greatest hero? I don’t even like Hawks anyway. Keigo is a thousand times better. You’re a person too you know? Don’t let them tell you otherwise.”
Keigo didn’t look up at his friend and cried harder as he let himself be wrapped in a warm hug.
They locked eyes one last time, Dabi smiling sadly at him and slowly turning back to Shigaraki as Hawks’ hand reached desperately towards him.
“Hawks. We regret to inform you that Touya has passed away during his individual training. He wasn’t able to control his quirk. You will be transferred in a single room from now on.” The woman in a black suit declared, her face devoid of emotion.
He stood frozen, the world around him collapsing on itself.
He hadn’t been there for him.
“TOU-” his scream was drowned out by the powerful burst of flames that erupted from Dabi’s entire body.
The flames weren’t coming anywhere near him but he felt the heat of a thousand suns burn his skin. He didn’t care. He couldn’t lose him. Not again. His legs couldn’t support his own weight anymore but it didn’t matter. He screamed his name, over and over, using his arms to crawl in his direction. It burned. He could feel his skin start to blister. He kept calling out to him, shouting himself hoarse as his cries got lost in the sound of the destruction around him. His shouts turned into frantic coughing as smoke invaded his lungs, choking him. A hand grabbed him by the shirt, holding him back.
“Hawks! Don’t!” Eraserhead shouted at him, his other arm protecting his mouth from the smoke.
The tears on his cheeks practically evaporated as soon as they left his eyes. When had he started to cry?
“I can still save him!” he pleaded, voice hoarse as he tried to keep moving forward. The hand on his shirt tightened and refused to let him go. He couldn’t go any further anyway. If Hawks approached more, he would probably be turned to ash in a matter of seconds. No one could withstand that kind of fire.
No one.
He watched powerless as blue flames devoured everything they touched, not even knowing if Shigaraki was still alive or not. But as long as they burned, Touya was.
Until they didn’t.
The temperature started to slowly go back to a more bearable level as the flames got smaller and smaller. It became easier to see what was happening in front of them. Only one man was standing among the field of ashes, rubble and melted metal, smoke still emerging from his skin. There was no one else. Not even a corpse. Just ashes.
“Touya!” Hawks called as soon as he saw him. He slapped Eraser’s hand away and used all the strength he had left to get up, limping towards him. He reached him just in time to catch him as he fell limp in his arms, bringing Hawks down with him.
He sat up with a groan, leaning against the rubble, Touya’s face resting on his belly, his body between his legs.
“Touya!” he rasped.
No answer.
“Touya!” his voice cracked.
Silence.
He brought a hand to his nose and mouth, hoping to feel his breathing, but there was nothing. Cupping his face with his hands, he wailed, his tears dripping onto Touya’s forehead.
Hawks’ fingers delicately traced his features, admiring him like it was the first time. He noticed traces of the kid he once knew under the scars and the staples holding his skin together. His closed eyes, his stillness and the absence of tension on his face could’ve made Hawks believe that he was sleeping peacefully, for the first time ever.
He wished he was just sleeping.
He wanted to wake up to him complaining about his wings taking up too much space on the bed.
He wanted to laugh it out and wrap them both in a blanket of soft red feathers, hearing him grumble into them before drifting back to sleep.
His body was still so hot from the flames that Hawks thought their skins and clothes were going to melt together. He didn’t mind the idea.
Gently stroking his hair with one hand and holding Touya’s in the other, he stared down at his lover’s face with vacant eyes.
The heroes had won in the end.
But he had lost everything.