Chapter Text
Running. Fuck ever since the Prison fell, since their sanctuary fell, their lives had reduced to running and losing the people who they cared about. Hell Rick didn’t even know where Carl was, if he was still alive. He had alienated his son so much over the years that one morning he and Daryl had woken up to find the 18-year-old man had left in the middle of the night while he was on watch. In doing, so he left the two older men sleeping and in a position where walkers could have walked right up and eaten them, and they never would have been the wiser. Rick had no idea Carl hated him that much, and Rick was convinced that the teen had to have hated them to leave them in such a vulnerable position. But ever since the prison his son had been different. The younger survivor had been harder and quicker to anger when he was dealing with his father. He was less so with his step-father but that change was still there with him too.
Carl had taken 7 year old Judith with him when he left, and they had no idea in hell where the teen had gone. No amount of tracking that his partner had done had found them in the months that had followed and Rick could only hope that his children were still alive out there. He trusted Carl to keep Judith safe where ever they were, but people died every day now from sickness and from the walkers so the two men could be looking for corpses for all they knew. After all the damned virus was in them all and with each new death that wasn't handled correctly a continuous supply of fresh walkers existed. It was because of that the walkers hadn’t died out yet, unfortunately for those who were still clinging onto survival.
Their son's abrupt departure had been the beginning of the end for the pair. Now, when he had his partner’s, his lover’s, head in his lap and a damned bite mark on his arm he wished he could have known all of this beforehand. He would have changed so much of what he had done if he had only known. So many people would still be alive, would still be with them, and he might not be facing becoming a walker himself. In the very least there would be someone to put him down after he changed, but now he was going to kill whoever found them.
Daryl was dead, he’d gotten bit the night before and Rick had forced himself to end it before his lover turned. He knew Daryl wouldn’t want to be a walker, but he can’t do the same to himself. He had gotten stupid after Daryl died, worse than when his wife Lori had passed in fact, and he had gotten bit himself during his break from reality. Hell he wasn’t sure how he was coherent enough to be sitting here now, with Daryl’s bloody corpse resting in his lap, but he was. He was also out of damned bullets and stabbing oneself in the head isn’t as easy as you think it turned out.
The former cop and leader snorted at that thought. Daryl would lie here and rot after he passed, and he would walk around and do the same, maybe he would even tear out some unsuspecting survivor’s throat if they managed to get in- he’d locked himself in here with Daryl to try and stop such a thing, but if he knew one thing about the remaining population it was that someone would come scavenging sooner or later. He pitied the poor fool who ended up finding their previously safe house. They wouldn't know what hit them if they were dumb about it.
Rick shivered as the fever settled in full blast, and ran his hand through Daryl’s hair to try to sooth himself in some way. He had missed so much time with this man by being such an idiot before, by not seizing the chance to be with him the very first moment that he realized that his attraction was returned by the other man. And now he wasn’t ever going to hear Daryl grunt at him, or see that crooked smile directed at him, or their people again. Fuck he hated seeing the people he loved die, but at least... At least he was going out knowing that Daryl wasn’t going to be alone in this world. Not like Daryl had to face when he was dying the night before. And damn it he was proving his lover right by dying. Daryl had muttered that Rick was going to get himself killed without him there to cover his back before the fever had taken his senses. And he had done just that.
It all boiled down to the fact that there was so much that Rick would change if he could. Merle, Shane, Dale, Lori, Andrea, Carol, Sophie, Beth. So many things that he would try to fix or prevent happening. He shivered as the chills set in, wishing he had the chance to change it all with his entire being. Wishing he had more time with Daryl. Soon enough the fever took over, and he mercifully blacked out. He didn’t wake up again. Not where he had been at least, and that was an entirely different tale altogether.
Bright light, it was burning Rick's eyes even through his eyelids and it invaded his senses abruptly waking him from what he thought was his final sleep. Rick groaned weakly in response to it, his hand flinging out for Daryl as his groggy mind tried to make his lover shut the curtains for him and stop that light from reaching him. Only the confused man's hand hit a handrail instead of his lover’s sleeping body. His eyes flew open at that, and he felt sick to his stomach when he saw the same hospital room he had woken up in 8 years ago surrounding him, mocking that last wish that Rick remembered thinking about before the fever took over.
This couldn’t be happening, but Rick would swear that he felt the same damned thirst that he had the first time around in his aching throat- the one that he now knew meant he’s been without water for more than a week. Even though he didn’t want to get up he forced himself to move. He had to figure out what the hell was happening and to get some damned water into his body before he passed out again and whatever was happening to him became a bit redundant. Dehydration was a dangerous thing to play around with, he’d experienced it too many times over the last 8 years not to know that.
He painfully made his way to the bathroom and drank from the sink when the water thankfully turned on again, just like before. Only this time he didn’t take the ravenous gulps that he had the first time around. Instead of doing that, he plugged the sink and drank slowly, letting his body adjust to the sudden influx, so he didn’t end up throwing it all up again. He knew that he would only be making his condition worse if that happened. That process went on for a while as he tried to get as much liquid into his body as he could.
The water was safe here as far as he knew, and he needed to be hydrated and clear-headed before he even attempted to leave the hospital. Rick had really put himself in danger the last time when he had stumbled out of here as fast as he could make himself move, but that wasn’t happening this time. He was as safe as he was going to be for a while at the moment, so he needed to take the chance and recover while he could. Slowly the water started working its magic, and he started to feel human, then he stumbled back to the bed.
He yanked the sheet over his head as he laid down and made himself sleep some more. Rick knew that even if he wanted just to get out of here to see if the people and situations he had 'dreamed' were real, this place had been safe enough for him to have been here comatose for the 2 weeks without being eaten. He needed to recover more of his strength, so he would stay. Sleep came far to easy with knowing just what kind of danger he was facing, but it came, and he was glad for it.
When he woke up he took a weak piss, then drank some more- moving easier as he did. That was a good sign, the easier he moved the faster he would be able to travel. And the faster he traveled the sooner he got back to his people and could start keeping them out of trouble if they were real. He soothed his pounding heart with plans of what he was going to do when he got back into camp if he found it to be the same as before. The first step would be to keep Shane out of trouble, the second would be to seduce Daryl back into his bed and heart while making sure Lori knew that they were over and reconnecting with his son. The list went on after that as his mind came up with more and more things that he could change if given the chance to.
It was with a much clearer mind than his first tumble out of the bed had provided that he searched through his room to see just what he had to work with in here. Rick ended up finding a pack of dropped nut mix by a chair he remembered Shane sitting in, which he ate slowly in an attempt to get something on his stomach that he knew had been empty far too long, then he drank some more water. His eyes felt heavy soon after that and Rick proceeded to fall asleep again almost as soon as he laid down once more, listening to his bodies needs. The years he apparently hadn’t lived yet taught him to recover while you could, and to appreciate what you had, even if it wasn't much.
The next time that he woke up next he felt better than he had after Morgan’s house even, which made him wonder just how in the hell he had gotten there the first time around. He must have had an angel looking out for him that day, and he must have used up his quota of luck for the decade. Hopefully that wasn’t the case this time around. God knew that they could use some of that luck surviving out there. Rick spent one more day drinking water to steady his hydration levels, and pissing like a racehorse in between naps.
Because of this routine, and need to be well and prepared before his next move, when he woke next he made himself a list of just what he had to look for before he headed out. He was in a damned hospital after all and that was one place that his people wouldn’t raid due to the amount walkers that tended to occupy them. There had to be supplies here that his family would need in the future, and he wasn’t going to be leaving without them. Only an idiot would walk away from the things that stood between them and certain death out there. And yes he was admitting that he had been am idiot the first time around, but he was a hell of a lot smarter than that now, which is why he was making the list and not just bolting out of the room and grabbing whatever he could get his hands on before leaving.
First he had to find a knife, or bar, something to defend himself with while he scavanged- he’d need that for any walkers out there on the hospital floor after all. The former cop pried the side rail from his bed up in the end, deciding that it was better than nothing after all. Next he looked around the room itself once more and found a clean uniform and his side arm in the closet- courtesy of Shane no doubt and something he had missed in his rush before. He didn’t waste time changing into the familiar, beloved clothing and putting on his gun and holster. He wouldn’t be using his side arm in the hospital of course, he wasn't about to draw more walkers to him just because he wanted a quick and easy way to get rid of them when he had another option. So the railing was still his best bet in defense and dispatching the walkers until he could find a machete, or something similar to use.
Rick's heart ached for his ‘brother’ as he finished dressing though. Shane had tried to give him every damned advantage that he could manage, in case Rick ever woke up from his damned coma. And he had missed it all and worse yet, he hadn’t even been grateful for what he had noticed when he had gotten into the camp. Instead, he had focused in on Lori and Carl then bolted back to Atlanta for his guns and Merle. It was no wonder the man he had once called brother had felt abandoned by him, had gone off the deep end with all of Lori’s crap. He’d make it up to Shane this time, he wouldn’t let him become the man that he had because he wouldn't react the same as he had the last time if and when he found his people.
Armed with his trusty side rail, and several dozen pee-cups of clean water in a make shift bag, which he had fashioned from tied bed sheets of all things, he ventured out of his room to look for supplies. He had a feeling that by the time he got out of the hospital he was going to wish he had that damned horse, or a car to help with all of this though. He was feeling a bit pack ratty right now with this potentially un-raided location at his finger tips. Hell he would have killed for access to this place and the supplies within it multiple times over the last 8 years.
There was a pharmacy on his floor, which was a gold mine in so many ways. He cleaned it out of every last thing he could grab even if his bag weighed him down painfully in the end. Those Meds were invaluable out there and there was no way in hell he was just leaving then here to gather dust and expire. Not when his people could use them to survive longer out there. The outbreak and deaths in the prison flashed through his mind suddenly. He wouldn’t let that happen this time, he had the meds that the others had gone out for now, and he would guard these things with his life if need be.
Rick found food too as he continued to look around- snacks and bottled water that was thankfully untouched, because survivors knew better than to try to raid this place because of the walker population. Or at least they hadn't grown desperate enough to try and get past what could be in here. He took all the rations that he could and fitted it into his packs, thankful for the small mercies in life. He now had a hell of a lot more than when he had first left this place, so surviving would be easier. Rick gave one last look to the place that had kept him alive while he was in a coma and all of this shit went down, and then he started to make his way home.
The former cop just had one stop to make before he started in the direction of the others, and he considered that stop his first try at changing how things played out. If he found what he was looking for there, and did as he planned, he might have have company on his trip to the others. Then Carl would have a playmate in the camp around his age a lot sooner than the prison and Morgan wouldn’t end up going bat shit crazy on him. He just had to take care of Morgan’s wife himself, because the other man hadn't, couldn't do it before.