Chapter Text
Everything in Hyunjin’s life was perfect, until suddenly it wasn’t.
He’d had no way of knowing that, of course, when he woke up that Tuesday morning. A younger version of himself might have called it fate, but at twenty-one Hyunjin was beyond such idealistic notions; as much as he loved to weep along to Disney storylines, he had learned that life was rarely as well orchestrated. So fate was the last thing on his mind as he was in the middle of a particularly engaging dream about being a pirate, sailing across far away seas when his alarm went off.
Beep beep beep!
He sat up in bed, looking around to find that he was not on an old ship, but in his own room. A brilliant philodendron crept down the sides of an old bookcase, the bright green leaves popping like bright beacons against the aged wood. She’d grown several feet over the three years he’d had her, heart shaped leaves crawling towards the ground day by day.
“Good morning, Janice,” he muttered to the plant. Janice didn’t respond, but Hyunjin didn’t blame her. It was way too early for pleasantries.
He groaned when he realized that he’d never find out where he had been sailing off to in his dream, but shook it off quickly. While the sight of his plants was usually a welcome one to wake up to, Hyunjin couldn’t help but scowl as he sat up in bed. He knew he’d be cranky all day, mostly because of what day it was, but he tried to push the sense of anger out as he snuggled back down into his bed. Hyunjin was many things, but negative was not one of them.
“No, I’m sick of those!” he heard someone yell from downstairs. He could make out the faint sounds of what sounded like Seungmin and Jeongin squabbling in the kitchen, probably arguing over what they’d be making for breakfast. He picked up on the sound of Felix singing to himself in the shower soon after, a soft falsetto floating down the hallway. He checked his phone again (8:16 a.m.) which meant he could relish in a few more minutes in bed before he needed to start getting ready for his 9:30 a.m. lecture.
The four boys were in their second year of living together, the small off-campus house they rented only two streets down from their college campus. Although it was admittedly an older house, the four bedrooms were big enough to justify moving out of the dorms and the fact that there were two bathrooms helped a lot with mornings like this one where they all had a morning lecture to get to.
Beep beep beep!
Hyunjin groaned as his second alarm went off, and he silenced it with a flick of his wrist. He offered a half-hearted greeting to his ZZ-plant, Jeffrey, sitting pretty in his windowsill. Hyunjin had bought no less than fourteen plants for their home, not counting the small succulent he had taken with him to college, and even though Felix was terrified of accidentally killing one of them, they definitely made the old building feel more cozy. Jeongin liked to joke that Hyunjin had just watched too many episodes of Queer-Eye, but the truth was that he just felt more at home with greenery around.
The three small pots of succulent propagations (just some basic echeveria) standing in Jeffrey’s shadow had yet to be named, but Hyunjin had a running list on his phone. Their little buds were growing day by day, and once they were big enough for their own pots he’d christen them properly.
“I won’t hesitate to leave you behind!” one of his roommates yelled up the stairs, voice a little bit muffled by the blanket Hyunjin had thrown back over his head. He scrolled through social media for a few more minutes before dragging himself from his unfairly warm, comfortable bed.
Felix gave him a hi-five one his way to the shower, a towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist.
“Vocals were on point today, dude,” Hyunjin said, grabbing a clean towel from the closet. “Was that some classic Taeyeon I heard you singing?”
“Why, yes!” Felix did a small curtsey with the towel hanging off his hips. “Every morning kind of feels like a Taeyeon morning, you know?”
Hyunjin chuckled, but Felix was already bumbling toward his room to change. After a quick shower of his own, Hyunjin stepped out of the bathroom to the savory smell of chicken sausages floating through the air. He figured Jeongin had won the argument over today’s breakfast menu, and silently did a little fist bump in the air as he took the steps two at a time. If Seungmin had his way, they’d all be having green smoothies.
By the time he made it to the kitchen, clean and somewhat awake, the other three boys were halfway through breakfast.
“Eat,” Seungmin said, pushing a plate towards him. “We need to leave in ten minutes if we want to make our classes on time.”
“At least we’re heading to the same building,” Felix laughed. “If Jeongin and I had practicum, we’d have had to leave already.”
“You’re lucky you don’t live with Minho,” Seungmin said. “Changbin told me he leaves him behind in their apartment if he’s even two minutes late.”
“Can’t say I blame Minho,” Jeongin laughed. “I’d leave Changbin behind, too. Your boyfriend is always late.”
“It’s part of Binnie’s charm!”
“Sure it is,” Felix winked. “But I get why Minho leaves him, he’s got to get to the humanities building like the rest of us and Changbin always wants to stop at the bakery on the way. It takes him, like, five minutes to pick a pastry.”
“Even though he always gets the lemon poppyseed muffin,” Hyunjin said, gesturing with his fork.
“And everyone knows the blueberry ones are better,” Jeongin added.
Hyunjin ate his eggs and sausage quickly, listening contently as his roommates argued over the superior muffin flavor. He enjoyed mornings like this, waking up to the world slowly as his friends anchored him in the present. Between class schedules and his research project, it was inevitable that he’d wrestle with burnout at some point this year. His mom always told him to live in the moment, but that was a lot easier said than done. His friends were one of the best ways he’d found to let go of the stressed of being a junior in college, and their early morning squabbles over the most trivial things made him feel at home in their old house.
He grabbed his bag and water bottle as they all headed out the door, Felix locking the house with one of the matching keys they all carried around.
“Why do they have to be bright pink, Felix?” Jeongin had sighed when they picked them out. Felix, of course, had won them all over in the end with an exaggerated pout.
Luckily he didn’t have to be in the research lab that evening, or he’d have to lug around his dance bag all day to chance before practice, and he wasn’t above complaining in their friends’ group chat. The four housemates walked over to the edge of campus, the humanities building looming large in front of them. They all spent a lot of time there, albeit in different parts of the building.
Greensville University was on the smaller side, only housing about 15,000 students in comparison to the bigger state schools that didn’t even blink at 50,000 bodies. Hyunjin enjoyed it, though, because it struck a nice balance between having familiar faces and enough variety that he didn’t ever really feel bored.
“Last one inside has to do the dishes all week!” Felix yelled. Seungmin rolled his eyes, but Jeongin was already dashing toward the building with a slight wheeze.
“I don’t know why he runs every time you say that,” Hyunjin laughed. “Doesn’t your professor hate it when he shows up sweaty?”
“She’s seen worse,” Felix shrugged. “The perks of being a social work major are that most of our professors can’t help but be empathetic. It’s in their damn DNA.”
“Like you’re not just as big of a softie,” Seungmin laughed. “Last night you cried watching TV.”
“That SPCA commercial was sad, Seungmin,” he hissed. “You should know all about emotionally manipulative commercials, Mr. Media.”
He said it like it was an insult, but Seungmin and Hyunjin just laughed. Although they were both communication majors, they were concentrating in different areas. Hyunjin fell into interpersonal communication after a riveting introduction class two years prior, and Seungmin had planned on studying media for half of his life. Felix seemed to think that this meant he should understand all of the intricacies of commercials, no matter how many times they reminded him that was more of Minho’s specialty. He was the marketing concentration, after all.
The three communication students had a few general classes together during Hyunjin and Seungmin’s freshman year, and Minho had taken pity on them and shared his notes. He still brought it up whenever he was short on change when they all went out to lunch, insisting “Your father deserves reparations!”
“Why not just dad?” Seungmin had asked one day, rolling his eyes.
“Chan’s the dad of the group,” Minho explained, placing a loud smack of a kiss on his boyfriend’s quickly reddening cheeks. “I am a cat father, and I take my job seriously. Besides, we all know I have more of a daddy vibe-”
Jeongin pretended to retch, but the rest of them just laughed.
✩ ✩ ✩
Morning classes passed uneventfully, save for Hyunjin’s 11a.m. lecture where someone stood up halfway through the professor’s introduction and announced that he was in the wrong room before speeding out. A boy with bright red hair caught his eye as he laughed, and he waved at him like he did most days, but other than that it looked like Hyunjin would fall into yet another uneventful school year. Not that uneventful was a bad thing- if anything, there was a certain level of peace in routine.
When the professor dismissed them, Hyunjin headed out before everyone could hear his stomach growl (again). He waved at a few friends from the dance team as he headed toward the exit of the building, waiting for his roommates at the front entrance. He saw a guy that he went out with a few times the year before, and they gave each other a small head nod as they passed each other in the hallway.
“One of your jilted ex-lovers?” Felix asked, appearing at his side.
“Hardly,” Hyunjin said, shoving his shoulder. “We went out on a couple of dates last semester, I wouldn’t call him an ex.”
“You just can’t help being popular, can you?” Felix joked, pinching one of his cheeks. “Our handsome Hyunjinnie, making all the boys fall in love!”
Hyunjin swatted at his hand, but laughed as his friend continued to coo at him while they waited for the other two to arrive. It was true that Hyunjin liked to go out- he was generally popular on campus, known as “the guy on the dance team with the long hair”, even though it only brushed his shoulders. When he wasn’t working on his research project or dancing to blow off some steam, he would go out with his friends to the local hole-in-the-wall bar that everyone on their campus frequented at some point. Sure, he went on dates and every now and sometimes he’d bring someone home from a party, but he was hardly a playboy. As much as his friends liked to pretend he was.
“I don’t do love, Lix. Love is for old people and card companies.”
“And your research!”
“Oh, true!” Hyunjin barked out a laugh. “You’re right, I guess. So you’ve used up your one brain cell for the day.”
Felix stuck his tongue out at him but eventually grew tired of his teasing, pulling his phone out of his pocket with an exasperated sign. “Where the hell are they?” he muttered. “Did Seungmin fall down the stairs again?”
“Excuse you!” Seungmin’s voice rang out behind them. “Maybe we were being good students, ever think of that?”
“Seungmin wanted to ask about the syllabus,” Jeongin said, rolling his eyes. “Even though we’ve been in classes for over a month.”
“It had Quiz 1 listed on there twice!” Seungmin insisted, affronted. “Don’t you want to know when we’re going to have to cram?”
“I’m just happy you didn’t fall again,” Felix said.
“It happened literally one time, an entire year ago-”
“Where do you want to get lunch?” Hyunjin asked before Felix could yell back. “Some girl in my last class was eating a scone and it smelled so good I almost cried.”
“Let’s go somewhere close,” Seungmin said. “Changbin won’t shut up about the new writing partner he and Chan found, so I doubt he wants to get too far away from campus. It’ll be a miracle if they don’t spend all afternoon in the library.”
“There’s that smoothie place?” Felix suggested. “They have sandwiches, too.”
“I’m sold,” Jeongin said. “You know what they say: when in doubt, smoothie out.”
“That’s not a saying-”
“Shut up, it totally is.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes, but nodded to appease him. They made quick work of walking over, only pausing to point out an unexpected couple standing by the campus’ kissing rock.
After laughing at Felix’s spot-on impression of the robotic voice in the call buttons of the crosswalks (“Wait, wait, wait… cross now!”), they met up with Changbin and Minho in front of the cafe, the older still in his workout clothes from a morning dance class. Seungmin laced his fingers with Changbin’s seamlessly as Minho explained that Chan had wanted to hang back and work with the new guy some more, so they didn’t need to wait.
“I wait for no man,” Jeongin quipped, walking past all of them in a bee-line for the ordering counter.
As they settled into their seats, smoothie bowls and sandwiches on trays in front of them, Hyunjin felt himself relax as his friends broke into conversation. He was relieved that Changbin and Chan seemed to have found a third for their writing project, because he was tired of hearing them moan and groan about how there was too much work for just the two of them.
He had offered to help, once, but research papers were a far cry from the screenplay they were working on. Chan had kindly offered to credit him as a research partner (“Like, maybe we could include some of your research into one of the subplots?”), but they both knew it was his kind way of avoiding the fact that Hyunjin wasn’t the right fit for their writing group. He wasn’t offended- if anything, he was kind of relieved that he wouldn’t have to tack on yet another activity to his busy schedule. If the new addition meant that he didn’t have to hear Changbin groaning over his workload every time he came over to the house to see Seungmin, he would gladly welcome the new guy with open arms.
“You know the drill for tonight,” Changbin said, munching on a sandwich. “Meet up at the house, we’ll all head to the bar together, and nobody let Felix pay for his own drinks.”
“You guys don’t need to pay for me!” Felix protested.
“It’s your birthday!” Seungmin insisted. “Like we’re going to let the birthday boy pay for his own shitty liquor.”
“It’s technically my birthday eve,” Felix said, looking pleased with himself. “But I wouldn’t say no to an undercurrent.”
“Ew, Felix, undercurrents are the worst shots,” Minho said, scrunching up his nose. “They’re, like, straight up sugar.”
“Exactly!” Felix said, grinning. “You can’t even taste the vodka.”
“You can absolutely taste the vodka,” Jeongin countered. “You just like that they taste more like blue raspberry ice pops than straight hand sanitizer.”
“What can I say, I’m young at heart.”
“Drink shitty alcohol that burns, like a real man!”
“Says the baby of the group who only orders peach bellinis?”
“Hyunjin and I will make sure you don’t die, Lix,” Seungmin assured him.
“Dream Team!” Felix yelled happily.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as his friends carried on talking about how many shots it would take for Felix to bust out his moves on the dance floor. He and Seungmin had been best friends since pretty much the beginning of college- the first day of orientation, in fact. One of the instructors seemed to notice him dozing off in a particularly boring lecture about campus safety and called on him in front of the entire incoming freshmen class.
“Mr. Hwang,” she had snapped. “Since you seem to be so relaxed, I’m sure you know the policy for off-campus guests in the freshmen dorms like the back of your hand. Please share with the group.”
He could only imagine how he looked, wide-eyed and pale as he stuttered over his words, trying to remember the rules the instructor had prattled off earlier. The boy sitting next to him, chestnut brown hair and a kind face, had leaned in and whispered the answer in his ear.
“Check in with the dorm front desk assistant,” Hyunjin repeated, drowning in relief. “They’ll take a copy of their identification until the guest leaves.”
The instructor squinted her eyes at him, but nodded curtly. As she jumped back into her lecture about the campus alcohol policy, he turned to the boy next to him with a huge smile.
“Thank you so much,” he muttered, still mortified from the attention. “You seriously saved my ass.”
“No problem,” the guy said. “She seemed to be in a bad mood, I didn’t want her to yell at you. I hate bullies, even when they’re middle-aged women.”
From there they just clicked- Hyunjin complimented the Day6 pin on Seungmin’s backpack and they discovered they were both majoring in communication, and they settled into a fast friendship based around a shared love of writing and a mutual hatred for people that chewed with their mouths open.
Their friends called them the Dream Team, and that usually meant they would ensure that nobody would be banned from an establishment or get arrested. Seungmin thrived off keeping order, and Hyunjin thrived off having friends that trusted him enough to drag their drunk asses home safely.
“So we’re all on the same page?” Minho confirmed. “Birthday shots and too much dancing? Because I’m trying to get messy tonight.”
Changbin barked out a laugh, but the entire group was nodding.
“Chan will love that, I’m sure.”
“He knew who I was when he married me!”
“You’re not married.”
“And yet we’re still your parents,” Minho said, flicking his wrist. “Respect us.”
✩ ✩ ✩
The bar was surprisingly packed for a Tuesday evening, some new place none of them had ever been to before. Their regular hole-in-the-wall haunt was more casual than Felix had wanted for a celebration, so they had decided to branch out for the birthday boy and all crammed into some club none of them had heard of. By the time they had all bought Felix a few birthday (“birthday eve!”) rounds, Hyunjin was getting a little tired of the group of screaming sorority girls sitting at the table behind them.
“Oh my god!” one of them yelled, and Minho rolled his eyes so hard Hyunjin was surprised they didn’t pop out of his head. It wasn’t that Hyunjin had anything against drunk girls- they give surprisingly heartfelt compliments while waiting in line for the bathrooms- he just was already drained before the evening had even begun.
Felix was on the dance floor, naturally, as they had all been at one point in the evening. Hyunjin had gotten tired pretty quickly, instead snagging one of the corner booths near the bar. Seungmin and Changbin were settled into one side, sharing an order of nachos (“There is nothing on God’s green earth quite as perfect as bar nachos,” Changbin insisted). Minho and Hyunjin were both nursing beers while Jeongin drank some fruity drink that everyone secretly wished they’d had the guts to order.
“Oh jeez, look at him go.”
Hyunjin laughed as Felix broke into a perfectly choreographed routine from last year’s dance team, flailing his arms to the beat of a sugary girl group song. He knew a few people were looking his way- that was nothing new- but Hyunjin wasn’t sure Felix would be sober enough to bring anyone home that night.
Hyunjin, on the other hand, wasn’t drunk at all.
“Find a conquest?” Minho said with a smirk.
Hyunjin shrugged, but truth be told, he had found someone when he had scanned the bar earlier, a boy at the other end of the room with broad shoulders and bright blonde hair. This wasn’t exactly a new routine for him, and the stranger was the typical kind of college frat boy that Hyunjin was used to hanging out with for a night or two, but tonight it seemed luck was really on his side. The guy was handsome, well-dressed… seemed like a good enough choice.
When Seungmin opened his mouth to munch on another nacho, he accidentally let out a small amount of spittle. He shrugged, unembarrassed, and ate the loaded chip in one bite.
“Fun fact,” Changbin offered. “That’s called gleeking.”
“Isn’t that what they called fans of that show Glee?” Minho speculated. “Gleeks?”
“How would I know what Glee fans are called?”
“You seem like a Glee guy to me,” Minho shrugged. “Could totally see you jamming to a cover of Don’t Stop Believing. I’m pretty sure Seungmin could sing anything from the Glee soundtrack and you’d cry.”
“I don’t know about that,” Changbin scoffed. “But it’s an actual term, when you spit a little when you open your mouth. It’s called gleeking.”
“Then Seungmin is the King of Gleeks!” Jeongin announced, raising his drink so quickly the tiny umbrella fell out.
“The King of Gleeks!” they all yelled.
Seungmin smacked Jeongin’s arm, but he was grinning. “I’m not sorry for being hydrated,” he said, plucking another chip from the basket. “Maybe all of you should learn to drink more water. Or at least learn to stand up to the bartender at Hawk House some day, drink an actual beverage once and a while.”
Just as Jeongin opened his mouth to protest, Felix came scurrying over to their table. His bangs were sticking to his forehead from the sweat he had worked up dancing, but the flush on his cheeks was more pretty than alarming, and he was smiling so wide Hyunjin wondered if it hurt his cheeks.
“How’s it going birthday boy?” Hyunjin asked, dabbing Felix’s forehead with a stray napkin.
“There’s a cute boy over there!” Felix yelled over the music. Hyunjin followed his line of sight, signing in relief when he realized it was a different boy from the one he had been staring down all night. That was a relief- he’d been making eyes at the blonde guy all night, and it would have been a shame to have wasted so many not-so-subtle glances.
“Minho, come see if he looks like he could keep up with me.”
“On it,” Minho said, finishing his beer in one swig. When Felix pointed out his target, a small-framed brunette, Jeongin spoke up.
“Oh, I know him!” he said. “He was in my intro to economics class. His name is Choi Jisung and-”
“Ugh.”
“Oh come on, he’s cute!”
“Yeah, Hyunjin,” Minho complained. “You can’t just veto somebody Felix wants to get with because the guy you used to fuck was-”
“We never slept together,” Hyunjin snapped. “Shut up about things you don’t know about.”
“Testy tonight, are we?” Felix slurred, grabbing another shot. “Be nice, it’s my birthday eve!”
Hyunjin frowned, but he knew he was being petty. There was an ache in his chest, a haunting reminder of what this day would be for someone he hadn’t talked to in years, but he didn’t want to bring the mood down any further by digging up the past.
His friends didn’t know much about his high school relationship; only that it had ended on bad terms, that Hyunjin only referred to him by bitter nicknames, and that sometimes when Hyunjin heard a certain song come on the radio he would slam the power button so hard he nearly bruised his hand.
“I’m sorry, Jinnie,” Felix sighed, picking up on his mood. “We didn’t mean to upset you by bringing up Sir Asshole. I’m sure he’s out there somewhere having a shit night and you’re going to have an awesome one, because it’s my birthday eve and I demand it be so! Here, have an undercurrent.”
Hyunjin took the drink hesitantly, but two more seconds of Felix’s pout had him throwing the shot back without any protest. His friend cheered, swaying a little on his feet as he ran back to the dance floor. Minho hopped up from his seat, following Felix to spy on the cute boy and probably “accidentally” knock Felix into him. His wingman methods may be unconventional, but his friends had to admit that they did get peoples’ attention.
When Jeongin and Changbin joined their other friends on the dance floor, Seungmin scooted over to Hyunjin with gentle eyes. They were silent for a moment, but Hyunjin could tell he wanted to ask something, so he just waited. Seungmin was many things, but pushy was not one of them.
“You guys never even slept together?” he finally asked. “I’m not judging you, I’m just surprised. You were really broken up about him when we met.”
“Yeah,” Hyunjin said, looking at the empty glass in front of him. “Doesn’t make it any less intense, though.”
“Oh of course not, I didn’t mean it like that, Jin,” Seungmin insisted.
“I know. I just get grumpy when I have to think about him. I’m sorry if I was snappy.”
“Honestly, it’s kind of cute. Like, puppy love.”
“It wasn’t puppy love,” he sighed. “It was a mistake.”
Seungmin raised his hands up in defeat. “Fine,” he said. “I’m just saying-”
“Stop saying, Minnie” Hyunjin laughed, throwing the tiny umbrella from Jeongin’s empty glass at him. “Let’s talk less and get drunk already!”
“If you say so,” Seungmin said, but he was already following Hyunjin back up to the bar.
Hyunjin knew how he needed to act for the rest of the night- on good days, it wasn’t even acting. But tonight brought with it that tinge of a shadow, the memory of loss clouding over a usually fun evening with friends. He cozied up to the guy from the other end of the bar, agreeing to go home with him once Seungmin and Changbin promised to get a squealing Felix into his own bed that night.
Hyunjin squeezed into a car with the guy, who had told him his name at least three times, but the music was so loud that Hyunjin didn’t hear it and he didn’t very well feel like he could ask a fourth time. He hoped he could spy a piece of mail or something to give him a clue when they got back to his place.
The guy’s apartment was small but generally clean for a guy in his early 20s, so Hyunjin didn’t have any complaints. He tasted a little bit like beer when they kissed, but he smelled nice and his bed was comfortable.
Hyunjin had had worse nights.
“You staying the night?” the guy asked later, as he plucked his shirt from the ground.
He’d learned the guy’s name was Yaejoon, if the framed honor society certificate on his desk was any indication. He had a deep voice and dimples, and very kindly hadn’t laughed when Hyunjin tripped getting out of the cab earlier. By all means, he seemed like a good catch, but they both knew very well that their relationship wouldn’t extend past the morning sunlight. Still, it was nice of him to offer to let Hyunjin stay.
Hyunjin popped his head through his t-shirt to find Yaejoon was already getting into bed, offering half the bed with a flourish of his arms. Hyunjin checked the time and shrugged. He didn’t exactly feel like walking home at 3AM if he didn’t have to, and he suspected Felix was probably still awake enough to scream-sing at him if he went home now. He usually would listen to Felix sing happily, but his friend lost all sense of pitch after his third drink.
“Yeah, thanks,” he said, hopping under the covers.
Yaejoon passed out almost immediately, but Hyunjin couldn’t seem to relax.
It wasn’t like that night was very different from usual, and he was glad he’d gotten to hang out with his friends and have some fun with a kind stranger. He knew, though, that when the light came he’d be back where he started- alone. Usually that was fine; Hyunjin was independent and busy and he enjoyed the freedom that came with being single, but sometimes in the quiet of the night we wished someone would look past the superficial parts of what made him Hyunjin.
He wanted to be seen as more than just the hot guy on the dance team or the good friend- he had a love for cheesy dramas and an irrational hatred for eggplant. He wanted to talk about his undergraduate research, or his unfairly adorable family dog, or literally anything other than the mindless chatter that was commonplace at college parties.
As he picked at some leftover nail polish on his pinky, he tried his best to be content. He usually was after nights out like this, falling asleep in a cute stranger’s arms and waking up with a slight twist in his back from sharing a twin bed with another full grown man. Usually, he’d head home and have brunch with his roommates, maybe cuddle up on the couch to watch an old movie and lazily nap the day away with his friends by his side.
Tonight, though, he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Because his roommate for the evening was sleeping on the wrong side of the bed.
The left side.
He huffed quietly, trying to convince himself that it wasn’t as big a deal, that he could just lay down on the right side (ugh) and fall asleep. He knew it was irrational to be upset about something like that- this guy was a stranger, he didn’t know him, and there was no way he could know that Hyunjin had slept on the left side of the bed ever since he was six. There was no reason for him to be sitting in the dark, comparing a stranger’s snores to the soft breaths of air he associated with a person from his past. There were some things that he couldn’t ignore, he supposed, even now.
And yet, as he watched the other boy stretch out in his sleep, he couldn’t help but feel an irrational sense of anger flare up in him at the arrangement. How could he get a good night’s sleep, laying on the right side?
Before he could overthink it, Hyunjin was already out the door.
✩ ✩ ✩
Going to the library the day after a night out was always a Herculean feat, but Hyunjin thought he should get a medal for actually showing up the morning after a birthday celebration with only a few complaints in the group chat. He had threatened to skip out on his turn guarding their study room, but Jeongin had run into his room and jumped on his bed until he finally got up.
Hyunjin wasn’t very good at saying no to his friends, especially when they brought him a cup of coffee to drink while he got dressed.
Their university’s library was comically small for how many students the campus housed, so it was natural for people to try and stake out different study rooms. He didn’t think it’s be the end of the world if they lost their hold on the study room that day, but apparently nobody else agreed with him.
Hyunjin arrived to the front of the library just past eight thirty, caffeine in his veins and dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t slept well- a dream about a looming storm growing closer, inch by inch, had kept him tossing and turning all night. Minho was less than sympathetic as he met him outside, still happy from the endorphin rush of his morning run with Chan. Hyunjin often thought to himself that if he ever ended up with someone who loved exercising at dawn he might just have to reconsider their relationship, but Minho and Chan were a perfect match in their morning runs on the trail behind campus.
He waved at a few classmates and even spied the girl that had run out of his lecture the other day at one of the tables near the stacks. Hyunjin yawned once, stretching his back as Minho rattled on about Chan and Changbin’s new writing partner. Apparently it was all Chan had talking about on their run, and if Hyunjin wasn’t so hungover, he might have even laughed at how Minho skipped across campus with delight about the impending addition to their friend group.
“At first I was like, why is my boyfriend so obsessed with some random dude?” Minho said, walking a little ahead of Hyunjin. “But then Chan introduced me to him and he was so damn funny. You’ll like him, Jin, I’m sure of it, he’s got that same sense of dry humor that you do. He also made fun of Changbin, like, the day after they met, so needless to say I’m obsessed with him.”
“Oh good,” Hyunjin laughed. “Now you don’t have to run the Torment-Changbin Agenda alone anymore.”
“Exactly!” Minho laughed. “I’m even considering promoting him to head of the heckling division. We’re keeping this one.”
They entered the library on the east side, the front entrance greeting them with the sounds of the in-library cafe in the distance. As he walked toward the study room, Hyunjin could hear one of the baristas call out an order over the soft conversations taking place at the tables (“Caramel latte with six- oh Jesus, six?- shots!”).
“You on BCR duty today, too?” Hyunjin asked. Minho nodded triumphantly.
There was no higher coveted part of the building than the Blue Couch Room. The study room with the perfect amount of natural light and a door that actually blocked out the noise of the library’s cafe, it was home to three blue couches that all the students were obsessed with for no particularly special reason. It wasn’t even that they were the most comfortable couches in the world (the one on the left side of the room actually had a bit of a dip in the middle cushion), but it was the most secluded part of the library and therefore the easiest spot to get some actual studying done.
Naturally, this led to a fairly childish habit of calling dibs on the room for certain times of the day, and the communication students were known to stake out the area on Wednesday afternoons. They would take “shifts” so that others could come and go as they pleased without losing control of the room; Hyunjin usually sat in the afternoon shift, but Minho had bugged him into meeting him in the morning that day so he was excited to see how the flow of students changed in the early hours. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with the dirty looks from the mathematics students who always tried to sneak the room away from them in the late afternoon.
“I’ve got grunt work all day,” Minho groaned. “The modern dance professor wants to give the intro students a quiz, so naturally I have to go through all the tests from the last fucking century to pull questions.”
“That’s what you get for being a teaching assistant,” Hyunjin laughed. “Grunt work comes with getting a T.A. stipend. It’s the way of the universe.”
“Still, I’m going to complain about it,” Minho shrugged. “It’s like how swearing helps with pain, you know? Complaining helps with my stress.
“I don’t know how scientific that is-”
“Hush, child,” Minho said, covering Hyunjin’s lips with his index finger. “Did you want to order any coffee before we get settled in BCR?”
The scent of coffee was strong even from their position in the hallway, and usually Hyunjin would be barreling freshmen over left and right to get to that sweet, sweet energy supply.
Today, though, Hyunjin shook his head.
“I’ve already had two cups today,” Hyunjin said.
“It’s barely past eight thirty!”
“Coffee is the number one hangover cure.”
“Or, you know, water,” Minho laughed. “But suit yourself.”
Minho got to the door first, turning the handle and stepping back so Hyunjin could walk in. He expected to see maybe Chan or Changbin, working on their screenplay with a fresh new face, or maybe Seungmin had arrived before him to slave away over yet another media assignment. To be honest, he was already thinking over what assignment he would work on for the few hours he’d be hanging out in BCR, class syllabi flying by in his memory as he narrowed down his choices, as he stepped into the room. The last thing he expected was to make eye contact with the person sitting on the couch in front of him only to be hit with the overwhelming urge to slam the door and run away.
Because there, sitting on one of the navy blue couches, was the boy who broke his heart- two years, four months, and thirteen days ago.
“Jisung.”