Chapter Text
< Jean has added Kaeya, Amber and 10+ others to ‘Official Business’. >
Jean: Alright
Jean: This is for official things only
< Klee has changed the group name to ‘BOOM BANG POW WOW’ >
Kaeya: ..k
Diluc: fucks sake
< Jean has removed Klee from ‘BOOM BANG POW WOW’ >
Jean: She’ll be back when I’m done with her.
Kaeya: it’s been one minute and she’s already fucked up lmao
Amber: waht did u expect
Jean: Kaeya, mind your language
Kaeya: DILUC SAID FUCK TOO WHY JUST ME
Jean: Oh, did he?
Jean: Then that goes for Diluc also.
Diluc: no fuck you
Mona: what the hell even is this chat for
Kaeya: yah we have like a roster and stuff why do we need a chat
Jean: Because someone skipped their patrol today.
Diluc: ok so can i leave i’m not in the fucking kof
Kaeya: is staying here such a pain for u
Diluc: literally existing at the same time as you all is a pain for me
Kaeya: who the fuck hurt you
Diluc: the world.
Mona: you’re both idiots
Amber: dats kinda sad tho diluc u need therapy broo
Jean: I thought I said this chat was for official business?
Diluc: literally no one cares
Kaeya: LMAO rip jean
Jean: Diluc.
Diluc: your alpha female voice won’t work on me lel
Lisa: Why did I decide to rise from bed this morning?
Kaeya: lisa really out here asking all the important questions huh
Noelle: U-Um,, what is this all about? Sorry >-<
Mona: jean made a group chat and somehow the world hasn’t fucking exploded yet
Noelle: Oh. ;v; well, that’s nice,,,,?
Diluc: i want to die
Amber: look just go to therapy ok we aren’t here to listen to ur depression
Diluc: stfu amber
Diluc: kof loser
Kaeya: wtf
Jean: Diluc, one more time.
Diluc: stfu jean
Diluc: kof loser
< Jean has removed Diluc from ‘Official Business’. >
Noelle: Oh dear,,, :(
Kaeya: u know u kinda asked him to do that jean
Jean: If I asked you to murder Amber, would you do it?
Kaeya: considered it multiple times before ngl
Amber: WHAT
Amber: WHY
Kaeya: cos u suck
Lisa: Yeah Jean I’m sorry but whatever order you were trying to establish a group chat was not an educated decision
Amber: i do not SUCK
Amber: YOU SUCk
Kaeya: that’s quite true actually
Amber: huh
Mona: wait what the hell
Kaeya: sometimes i question my sexuality
Mona: no one needed to know that
Jean: Why do I try sometimes?
Lisa: Don't worry Jean
Lisa: You're not alone
< Kaeya has added Diluc to ‘Official Business’. >
Diluc: why do you insist on hurting me
Kaeya: we need u here to piss off jean pls help
Diluc: ok
Diluc: yeehaw motherfuckers
< Jean has removed Diluc from ‘Official Business’. >
Kaeya: LMAO
--------
< Official Business >
Venti: ..wtf is wrong with all of u who is awake at that time
Mona: it was eleven in the morning.
Venti: my point stands
< Jean has added Diluc and Klee to ‘Official Business’. >
Amber: KLEE????
Klee: ammbar! :D
Kaeya: bruh she can’t bloody spell
Amber: she’s also a literal CHILD
Amber: go away
Klee: jeann said i cant do anymre bomb stuff :((((
Venti: why are the only words you know how to spell related to explosives
Klee: hey! i can spel other things too!
Klee: buterfly
Klee: gardan
Klee: rainforres
Kaeya: no.
Amber: klee ignore kaeya he’s an asshole
Venti: this was not worth waking up for
Mona: then go back to sleep goodbye
Venti: no
Venti: you woke me up
Venti: now bear the burden of my presence, you ungrateful snivelling peasants
Diluc: if you’re gonna rhyme like that even over text
Diluc: please please fucking slit my throat
Kaeya: gladly
Diluc: not you u dumb fuck
Venti: this group name is rather off
Kaeya: jean’s on duty quick change it
Kaeya: she won’t notice with her boomer eyesight
< Venti has changed the group name to ‘the mondstadtian circus’. >
Venti: wait that includes me
< Venti has changed the group name to ‘lmao fuck u jean’. >
Kaeya: bruh
Kaeya: u wanna die or wat
Venti: u said she wouldn’t notice
Kaeya: she will notice if there is a ‘fuck’ in the title
Kaeya: she notices every single ‘fuck’ we say
Kaeya: can’t catch a bloody break around here
< Venti has changed the group name to ‘wtf is this’. >
Kaeya: perfect