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Competition. Jungkook always loved competition. There was a certain thrill that came with being competitive. Not just with others, but with himself as well. Always trying to beat records or just do better in a 2nd attempt at something. Always looking for ways to improve. It was sometimes an irrational part of his brain that he just couldn’t shut off. Everyone noticed this, but no one said a word. More often than not, it was rather funny to watch Jungkook get flustered when results weren’t as he expected. Then to watch the determination rekindle on his face like a low lit bonfire that just got a dose of oxygen. He would work twice as hard, if not more, to get what he wanted.
This is what Taehyung found most endearing about him. His level of commitment to all things. He just wished that same determination he saw in most of Jungkook’s activities flooded into their communication. For what it’s worth, they were still rather new at this. Being a couple, but not quite. They were still working out how Jungkook really felt after the harsh break up with his girlfriend and the subsequent intimate encounter they had shortly after. Making things a bit more complicated than they needed to be. Taehyung was like an open book, ready to talk to Jungkook about anything and everything he needed. Nothing had really changed in that sense.
It was Jungkook’s mistrust of relationships that were holding them back from truly being together. Taehyung is patient though, not wanting to push Jungkook into anything he wasn’t ready for. But at least now he knew, and Taehyung didn’t have to go around hiding his feelings. The other members saw a shift in their behavior as well. But whenever they would approach Jungkook, he’d act as if nothing was going on, while Taehyung would stumble over his words. Communication. It was really important in such fragile times. An opportunity presented itself one morning when Jungkook and Taehyung were the first to get up for the day. A highly unusual occurrence. They had some time off from their schedule, yet here they both were, staring at each other from across the table, Jungkook with his banana milk and some cereal. Taehyung with an apple and some tea.
“Bananas are better than apples…” Jungkook said offhand, poking at his bowl of cereal. Taehyung looked up from his phone.
“What?”
“I said...bananas are better than apples. You should eat bananas more often.” Jungkook repeated.
~Is he serious?~ Taehyung thought.
“I prefer apples, they taste better.”
“No they don’t.” Jungkook insisted, meeting Taehyung’s eyes.
“Okay. Tell me why you think that is the case.” Taehyung urged, placing his phone on silent and face down on the table.
“Because they are…” He mumbled. Still a bit groggy from sleep.
“That isn’t even a reason. You can do better than that.” Taehyung folded his arms over his chest.
“Can do better than what?” Hoseok entered the kitchen, going into the fridge to grab some leftovers from last night’s dinner to heat up.
“Jungkookie here, tells me that bananas are better than apples. Just a random comment out of the blue. I happen to disagree. I think apples are better.” Taehyung huffed, eyes trained on the blush creeping up Jungkook’s neck.
“He also refuses to give me a legitimate reason for his logic.” He added after a minute. Hoseok stared down at the pan he pulled out and placed on the stove. Watching oil heat up on the bottom so he could re-fry some of the rice and beef they ate the night before.
“Is that something really to debate about, this early in the morning?” Hoseok asked, rubbing his hands on his face.
~It’s going to be one of those days, I can already tell.~ He grumbled to himself.
“Which one would you pick Hobi hyung?” Jungkook insisted.
“Oh no. Don’t drag me into this one.” He waved his hand at them, hiding his smiling with his back turned to the both of them.
“No seriously. Which one would you pick?” Taehyung asked, now curious at what he thought. If apples outweighed bananas, he would win this stupid debate. A one up on the maknae. Hoseok took his time, thinking about how bad this was going to be. It would be unfair to choose one over the other just to placate their silly little competition.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to come between the two of you on this one.” He finally answered.
“Come between them on what?” Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen, one hand combing through his tousled hair, the other tugging on his oversized pajama shirt.
“Hyung! Apples or bananas?” Jungkook shouted before Hoseok could get a word in.
“Lower your voice. The others are still sleeping.” He scolded.
“S-Sorry…”
“Bananas.” Namjoon said after a beat. He had no idea what this was even about, but he knew Jungkook’s love for bananas so he decided to go with that. Taehyung slammed his hands down on the table, nearly knocking over his now cold tea.
“You shouldn’t have done that…” Hoseok warned, offering a sympathetic glance to Taehyung who was now even redder than Jungkook at this point.
“What did I do?” Namjoon whispered into Hoseok’s ear while peering over his shoulder to see what he was cooking.
“You weren’t supposed to pick sides. They are having a debate over which is better: apples or bananas…” He said, tossing the rice before adding some beef.
Namjoon looked back sheepishly at the younger two, watching Jungkook’s relaxed, confident posture and Taehyung’s tensed shoulders as he stood up from the table. If looks could kill, Jungkook would be in a lot of trouble. Taehyung took a large bite of his apple, finishing it off and tossing the core into the food waste bag. The only sound in the kitchen was Hoseok at the stove, just about finished heating up the leftovers. He pulled out some bowls for him and Namjoon. Namjoon couldn’t help the cold chill that ran down his spine when he saw a sly smirk develop on Jungkook’s face.
“This wasn’t even necessary, you know that right? You could have just had a normal conversation if you needed to talk to me about something. It didn’t have to be like this, this early in the morning.” Taehyung glared. Jungkook shook his shoulders and got up from his spot at the table, disposing of his trash and heading back to his room.
“The whole thing was a bit silly. What’s going on with you two? I thought things were okay.” Hoseok asked.
“I thought so too. Except, we haven’t talked about the important stuff. We have shallow conversations that barely grind past the surface. He avoids contact with me all together, and he’s been competitive, or combative. However you want to look at it.” Taehyung sighed.
“You really need to talk it out. Just remember to look at it from his perspective though. He just had a break up and you dropped your feelings on him, a little too soon in my opinion. It seems like he is having a hard time adjusting. Maybe he doesn’t know what he really wants.” Hoseok offered. Namjoon watched on quietly from the table, with a cup of coffee pressed to his lips. Hoseok was doing a good job of explaining things. There was no need to add anything at this moment.
~Maybe...I can get some of the others to leave the dorms for a bit, later today. That way these two can talk it out.~ He thought as he flipped through a newspaper that had been left on the table.
“I’m not into casual sex. We are all adults here. He should know how to control himself if he is unsure of things. He didn’t seem hesitant when we were fucking the other day.” Taehyung yelled. Namjoon nearly spit his coffee out.
“I really didn’t want to know that.” he coughed.
“Be that as it may, you did approach him in a moment of vulnerability. You both used each other. So it’s both your faults.” Hoseok continued, handing a bowl to Namjoon and sitting across from him with his own. Taehyung hung his head in defeat. Maybe Hoseok had a point in this.
“This argument over apples and bananas is likely a way for Jungkook to tell you that he is open for a conversation.” Namjoon suggested.
“Then why can’t he just come out and say it, whatever it is he wants to talk about? This whole thing was childish.” Taehyung scoffed.
“Coming from you...that’s interesting.” Hoseok laughed before stuffing his face with a bite of rice.
“Just go talk to him. Apologize too. That always helps…” Namjoon said, dismissing the conversation. Taehyung rolled his eyes and walked away.
“We should probably get everyone out of the dorm. They need some privacy to figure this out.” Hoseok commented.
“I had the same thought.”
It was mid-morning when Jungkook finally came out of hiding. He knew that this morning didn’t go too well. He couldn’t help himself. It was hard to talk about his feelings. It was hard to tell someone who had complete adoration for him, that he was feeling overwhelmed. That maybe having sex so soon was a mistake. No...not a mistake. He didn’t regret it. It just...changed the dynamics. Things felt different and he didn’t want things to be different. He loved Taehyung too much to mess things up. Yet here he was, messing things up.
He paced the living room floor, kicking pillows out of the way until he came to a stop. Dropping down to all fours and beginning a set of push-ups. Just one way he knew how to relieve some stress. Pushing everything into the back of his mind so he could focus on the burn in his core and his biceps. He must have gotten to at least 15 before he heard someone walking down the hallway and stop by the living room.
“What are you up to?” Taehyung hesitated by the couches. Jungkook sat up on his knees, forehead dripping with sweat as he looked back at him.
“Just working out. Everyone went out.” His tone bland and indifferent. Taehyung sat down on the couch, presumably to watch. But Jungkook didn’t go back to his push ups, instead he spaced out, eyes tracing Taehyung’s silent profile. Taehyung cleared his throat.
“We should probably talk…” He started. Jungkook jumped up to his feet, walking over and plopping down on Taehyung’s lap.
“Are you in the mood to talk?” He asked the younger.
“I suppose it’s better than continuing on in silence.” He answered, wiping his sweaty forehead on Taehyung’s shirt.
“That’s gross.” He chuckled, flicking Jungkook’s left bicep. Jungkook feigned being hurt, just to see Taehyung smile again. Something about that boxy smile, the one he didn’t present to the cameras as much anymore. The one he reserved mostly for the members, mostly for him. His heart beat swiftly when Taehyung’s eyes lingered on his lips.
“I probably wasn’t ready. To have sex. I was feeling vulnerable and used you to fill that void that she left…” Jungkook blurted out. Taehyung was unphased. He knew this much already.
“I figured as much. For what it’s worth, I feel like I used you too. To fulfill my own selfish desires. Jungkookie...I do love you. I need you to understand that. I have always loved you. That will never change…” Taehyung caressed the exposed skin of Jungkook’s thigh.
“I...love you too Tae. Can we just...slow things down a bit…? I know we’ve known each other for a long time. But I still feel there needs to be a foundation. Every relationship needs one.” He said.
“I’m willing to do anything that makes you happy, within reason. We can work this out. The only thing I ask of you, is to not resort to these tactics. Talking about what is on your mind is so much easier than trying to guess.” Taehyung combed his fingers through Jungkook’s wet hair, pulling him down by the neck and kissing his lips softly.
“I’ll try harder…” Jungkook whispered against his lips, nipping at the bottom. Relief washed over both of them as they melted into one another. Taehyung cradled him close, tracing patterns in his back as Jungkook explored his mouth with an eager tongue.
“You should really get a room…” Yoongi grumbled, walking past the living room. Jungkook fell off Taehyung’s lap and scurried down the hall. At least now...Taehyung’s mind was at ease.
One baby step at a time...