Chapter Text
He realises he’s in love with Yamaguchi one night before dinner. Yamaguchi’s parents were out of town for the weekend, so he was staying with them for the duration, Kei’s mother hadn’t wanted him to be alone.
He’d known she’d think that, so he made sure to mention it a few days beforehand, and then had just sat back as if he wasn’t the one to practically suggest it when his mother had insisted Yamaguchi stay over before she demanded he text his friend and sort it out.
Maybe he should have realised then.
But no. What made him realise the few days later was Yamaguchi sitting with his brother. Both on opposite ends of the couch as they’d yelled at the screen, controllers in hand as they played mario kart.
Maybe it was seeing how Yamaguchi looked when focused and competitive in a way that didn’t have any stakes, meaning there was a softness to his posture. He’d seen him far too stressed lately with volleyball, a competition where it did matter and had him constantly tense.
Or maybe it was the fact that he was getting along with Akiteru.
He was slowly working out things with brother after Yamaguchi had practically smacked some sense into him at last year's training camp, and he couldn’t deny that his brother had slowly slipped back into his position of ‘Kei’s Favourite Person’ since then despite how much Kei denied it.
Or well, second favourite. Because Yamaguchi had been in that top spot for a while and wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. So maybe it was seeing both of his favourite people get on so well, even though he’d known they got on for years. Practically growing up together had proved that.
It was probably because of how Yamaguchi’s face had lit up though upon seeing him at the door to the living room, even though he’d only been gone a few minutes to get them all drinks. And even though his beam had been brief, given he’d instantly gone back to focusing on the game, the way he had absently pat the middle cushion next to him had Kei almost taken aback with how strongly he’d been hit by a wave of fondness for him.
Akiteru smirks at him as if he knows what’s going on. And maybe he does. But Kei’s not going to say anything. So instead, he scowls as he sits. Careful not to disrupt either of them for fear of getting yelled at for some form of cheating or helping as he sets the drinks on the coffee table. He’s also careful not to touch Yamaguchi, because with his newfound revelation he’s not entirely sure he won’t burst into flames upon contact.
“Yours is the-”
“The t-rex mug. I know Tsukki. It’s my mug, you bought it specifically to be my mug.” Yamaguchi smiles at him, glancing out the corner of his eye before his eyes shift back to the screen and he cuts off a swear word as his cart swerves.
“Fu-ip. Flip. I said flip.”
“Sure you did.” Akiteru snickers.
The nickname, the one Kei would only let Yamaguchi use, flips his stomach pleasantly. And he realises that that’s been happening for a while now. He just never thought to put a name to it, or was too scared to properly acknowledge it. More so the second option.
Because he’s not sure he wants to think about what would happen if he admitted to himself that he was probably in love with his best friend.
His stomach lurches again at the thought, but this time it’s unpleasant and biting. “Bathroom.” He mutters. Getting up to stagger upstairs.
He loved Yamaguchi. Of course he did. How could he not? It only made sense that he’d been subconsciously developing feelings for him and for them to eventually bloom into love. People constantly compared Hinata to the sun, but he knew those people had never properly seen Yamaguchi. Because if they had, they’d know they were wrong.
Yamaguchi was like the damn sunrise. He started out soft, with his voice and his small smiles. Like light filtering over the horizon, just enough to start the day. And then as it rose, it got brighter. Spreading it’s light and warmth to everything it touched. Much like Yamaguchi whose joy and smiles were infectious. His laugh could stop a room before everyone was joining in, happiness caught from his giggle. Golden hour was Kei’s favourite for a reason. It had been since it started to remind him of his best friend's smile. How his face scrunched up when he beamed, how radiant he looked when he threw his head back and laughed. When things seemed to warm up whenever he smirked.
But he was like the stars too. There was a depth to him that rivalled the inky blackness of the night sky that not a lot of people saw. Freckles mimicking the constellations. He was safe and comfortable like midnight. Presence as reassuring as the inevitable darkness. He hid so many things behind his sunshine smile, and Kei was honoured to be one of the few who could see the stars despite the sun.
Fucking hell, he was too repressed for this shit.
Locking the bathroom door he goes over to the sink, turning the tap on as he takes his glasses off and puts them onto the side. Unhurried as he splashes water onto his face. Uncaring about how his shirt was getting wet. He didn’t think he was capable of feeling like this. Of the words that were practically poetry rattling around in his brain.
Of course it was Yamaguchi that made him this way. Of course. He was always getting Kei to do more, to be better. To try out the unexpected even if it made him uncomfortable. Because at the end of the day, if it worked he was progressing onto something better with Yamaguchi by his side. And if it didn’t, Yamaguchi would be there to help lick his wounds and comfort his hurt pride. It couldn’t be anyone else.
“Fuck.” He sighs, reaching out blindly for a towel to wipe his face with. Grimacing down at his wet shirt before he puts his glasses back on. Staring at himself in the mirror above the sink.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Yamaguchi probably wouldn’t like him back, never mind love him. The rational part of his brain adds the ’probably’ because anything was possible. But he’d seen the type of person Yamaguchi stuttered and blushed around. They were all sweet and cute and more importantly, nice. He was none of those things. So he removes the ‘probably’ from that sentence. Ignoring the rational part of his brain, which was new. But there was nothing rational about how his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest or choke him.
Yamaguchi wouldn’t like him back. And even if he did, Kei’s not entirely sure he’d allow himself to ruin Yamaguchi like that.
Sure, he had a sharpness to him that he only revealed to Kei. Revealed with a muttered snarky comment or tease that could occasionally rival Kei’s own biting comments. He was just a little bit of an asshole, and Kei adored that side of him. There was a reason they were friends after all, their slightly sharper humours matched up. Amongst all the other things.
But he was soft despite all that in a way Kei could never be. And he deserved somebody who could match that softness. Not somebody like Kei who was all sharp angles and cutting edges. He deserved somebody who could give him the whole damn world and not somebody like him-
That thought is stopped in its tracks by a knock on the door and a jolt back to reality.
“Tsukki, you okay? You looked like you were going to vomit.” Yamaguchi asks, sounding worried even through the door. “Do you need anything?”
“No, i’ll be out in a minute.” There’s a pause. And Kei can practically imagine the sigh of relief he knows Yamaguchi will be letting out.
“Alright. I’ll go back to kicking Akiteru’s ass then.”
“You do that.” He snickers, and he hears Yamaguchi chuckling all the way down the hall.
The rational part of his mind is back, and he’s thankful for it.
Yamaguchi was not a person to let somebody else ruin him. He had his hang ups and insecurities sure. But he was so damn strong. Strong enough not to let an asshole like Kei ruin him. They had been friends all these years, close as can be, and he was still soft and sweet and unmarked by Kei’s asshole aura. Yamaguchi was a lot stronger and hard-headed than people, or he himself, gave him credit for.
That settles something in his gut. And he revels in the relief for a minute before pushing it back down. Because ultimately, none of that mattered. Yamaguchi wouldn’t return his feelings, so there was no point in even entertaining the idea of them being together.
If he took much longer though, he knows Yamaguchi will be back and worrying. Later, he could think about this later. Taking a deep breath, he puts his glasses back on and unlocks the door, going to his room to change his shirt before he goes back downstairs.
Pushing it back was helping, and it means he can act fairly normally when he gets back into the living room and sits back down.
“You okay?” Akiteru asks, eyes on the loading screen as he takes a sip of his coffee.
“Yeah just felt a bit sick.” He lies. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, do you think you ate something weird?” Yamaguchi turns, eyes wide and full of concern and Kei loves him.
“No. I think I got a bit too warm or something.” He shrugs, and Yamaguchi takes it for what it is with a shrug.
“Don’t be getting sick Tsukki.” He chides, and Kei rolls his eyes and shoves him.
“Shut up. Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”
“Yes Tsukki.” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes right back. Muttering under his breath. “Bossy boots.”
“I heard that.”
“You were meant to.” He sing-songs and all Kei can do is focus on his own hot chocolate and the screen in front of him so he doesn’t do something stupid like ruffle Yamaguchi’s stupidly soft hair or something even stupider like kiss him.
“Kei, come with me after this to get more snacks.” Akiteru says abruptly, and almost off handedly although he’s far too sincere in everything he does nowadays to quite hit it.
“What why?” He splutters, given how out the blue it is and how much he doesn’t want to go out.
“Because I can’t carry everything on my own.”
“Why not take Yamaguchi?”
“Because mum already bagsied him to help with the last prep for dinner.”
“When?”
“When you were in the bathroom.” Akiteru waves a hand. “And anyway.” He looks at him out of the corner of his eye in a very not-sincere way and Kei know’s that he knows. “Maybe a walk in the cool will help you feel less sick.”
He huffs. Knowing he’s been caught in something, although he’s not exactly sure what his brother has caught yet. “Fine.”
Making a point of turning his attention back to the tv, he makes sure to finish his drink as Akiteru and Yamaguchi start on their final races so he doesn’t have to speak. Trying his best not to let his thoughts run away with him while he waits.
Focusing on his drink is good. And by the time Yamaguchi is declared the winner, he’s finished it off and his brain is a little less muddled if no calmer.
“Yeah well done.” He chuckles when Yamaguchi grabs him around the shoulder, hauling him up to do a victory dance that he happily goes along with, rolling his eyes at Akiteru whenever he catches his brothers eye and hopes that he can’t tell how much his insides are swirling with elation and fondness as Yamaguchi spins them around.
“Yeah okay I get it. I’m a loser.” Akiteru eventually laughs, standing up and dusting his hands off. “Come on Kei, let’s go get some snacks.”
“Oh! I’ll go help your mum!” Yamaguchi stops moving, grinning at the pair of them as he lets Kei go and Kei inwardly mourns the loss of warmth and pressure along his shoulders and down his side as Yamaguchi disappears into the kitchen before Akiteru is tugging him by the arm into the hall so they can get their shoes and coats on.
“See you in a bit!” Akiteru calls through the door when they step outside and Kei shuts it, waiting for whatever his brother will say next. Because he would, that was the whole point of the damn snack run.
They’re silent until they get halfway down the road, and Kei rolls his eyes and scoffs when Akiteru makes a show of dramatically looking around before speaking again. “So you finally realised you’re in love with him huh?”
“What the fuck?!” He chokes on his own damn spit as he stops in his tracks.
“Took you long enough.” Akiteru has kept walking, stopping himself when he realises Kei isn’t by his side.
“What do you mean took me long enough?” Kei can’t move, can’t seem to breathe. How had Akiteru found out so quickly? How did he know? Did that mean Yamaguchi knew? Yamaguchi was better at reading him than his brother, so it only made sense that he’d-
“Woah woah woah calm down.” There are hands on his shoulders then, and Akiteru's face popping into his field of vision grounds him back to the present from where he’d started to spiral. “Kei. Calm down.”
“What is even going on?” Kei whispers.
“Alright just breathe with me a minute.” Akiteru says, eyes concerned enough that Kei indulges him until he realises he stops shaking. When had he started shaking?
“Okay.” He nods eventually. “I’m okay.”
“So?” Akiteru tilts his head to the side. “Was I right? Are you freaking out about that? It’s perfectly okay to like boys-”
“No. I’m freaking out about the fact that if you know then he must know too.” Kei waves off. He’d had his ‘gay crisis’ while Akiteru wasn’t around. Or rather, while he’d been in the middle of pushing him away. Same thing.
“Oh.” Akiteru’s mouth forms a small ‘o’ as he tilts his head like a confused puppy. “Do you not want him to?”
“And ruin our friendship? No.” Kei snorts. “Why would I tell him and ruin everything?”
“Oh. Okay.” Akiteru nods, slowly. Eyes shifting. And Kei narrows his own at the suspicious behaviour. His brother couldn’t act for shit. “Maybe uh, re-think that?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing! Nothing!” Akiteru waves off. “Just. You’re fine, okay. You don’t have to worry. Yam’s is one of the most oblivious people I know, second to you anyway!”
“Can you please just tell me what the fuck is going on?” Kei sighs, hand going to rub at his eyes. He was starting to get a headache.
“Sorry. No can do.” Akiteru sighs. “Use that big brain of yours to figure it out on your own okay?” He had no idea what that meant and honestly couldn’t be bothered asking given he knew his brother would only give cryptic answers in response with the mood he was apparently in. He was definitely hiding something, but Kei’s not entirely sure he wants to find out what.
“Shut up.” He snarls. It feels like there’s something crawling under his skin as he scrabbles to try and put the pieces together. Even though he knows it’s futile given he barely had half of them. “Let’s just go and get the damn snacks.”
“Ooft, easy there.” Akiteru laughs, taking the snapping in his stride. “I have to use this time wisely you know.”
“To do what?”
“Tease the ever loving shit outta you!” He giggles. “Cause you liiiiiike him! You wanna kiiiiiiss him! You wanna maaaarry him!”
“Are you twelve?” Kei shoves him. Thankful that it’s dark so his brother can’t see the blush that was starting on the back of his neck.
“I’ve been waiting to do this since you were twelve!” He retorts, grabbing Kei around the shoulders as they slowly start their work to the local shop, what was with those two and doing that today? “I’m glad you finally got your head out of your ass even if you’re freaking out.”
“I’m not freaking out.” He scowls. “Please at least explain what you mean by that comment. I need something explained!”
“You’ve been in love with the kid since you were twelve Kei. I remember when I noticed.” He laughs, voice going a little far away as he slips into nostalgia and Kei can feel himself wanting to be sick again. “You were always a dessert fiend. Still are. But it was one of things you’d never share. And then one day, Yams turns up out of the blue after dinner and you share your slice of cake with him, one that mum had bought in special, like it’s nothing.”
“Really?” He asks. Voice small in a way that he hates. He doesn’t remember that. Sharing with Yamaguchi came as easy as breathing now. If Yamaguchi was there, they’d be sharing something. That’s just how it was. How he thought it had always been.
“Really.” Akiteru nods. “I didn’t say anything at the time obviously, but it was super cute.”
“Oh fuck off.”
“Never! Honestly, I didn’t think it would take this long for you to realise.”
“The delinquent duo call me emotionally-constipated.” He admits, because it’s dark and Akiteru can’t see his expression clearly enough to show how it’s hard to admit. And it’s hard to admit because it’s definitely true.
Akiteru barks out a loud laugh. “They’ve got that right.”
“I’m pissed off you knew before I did.”
“Older brother perks mean I get to lord this over you forever.”
“I can go back home-”
“Nah. I get to tease you some more. I mean really, i’ve been holding off for years. I deserve this!”
“You deserve fuck all.” He hisses, quickening his pace when he sees the glow of the shop because it means Akiteru will have to let him go and hopefully drop the subject. He’s not entirely sure he could deal with any more revelations tonight.
“Somebody's angsty.” Akiteru snorts, but thankfully he lets Kei go as soon as they enter the shop.
Immediately, he leaves his brother's side to go and find the popcorn of the sweet and salted variety, but only the packaged ones you could put in the microwave because Yamaguchi didn’t like cold popcorn and according to him getting pre-popped corn was an offence of the highest order. He finds it with ease given how he’d grown up with the shop just down the road, and he loads a few boxes into his arms before going to hunt down the sweets. It’s a good distraction, looking for everything and choosing out what he wants and what he knows Yamaguchi will want.
Maybe if he stayed in the sweet aisle long enough his brother would forget what they had been talking about and never bring it up again?
“It’s cute how you know his favourites.” Oh for fucks sake. Glaring, he turns to awkwardly flip Akiteru off. Piling the last of the sweets and crisps into his arms.
“We’ve been friends for years. It would be weird if I didn’t know by now.”
“You’ve mainly got snacks for him though.” Akiteru points out, definitely sly as he teases and Kei really wants to just drop everything and go home.
“A lot of our favourites overlap dickhead.” Just to be a pain, he unloads most of it into Akiteru’s arms. “Here. go and pay.”
“With no thanks?” The elder huffs, but Kei knows he secretly liked paying, or at least he liked Kei letting him pay for stuff. After all, he hadn’t done for years by this point.
“Not if you keep taking the piss.”
“Then I will go thankless.”
“I’m waiting outside.”
“You do that.” Kei scowls and barely stops himself from stomping outside to wait in the cold.
He still wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. And despite what he had tried to convince himself, he really wanted to know what the fuck Akiteru was hiding. Because for once, he had no idea. Not even an inkling. He always prided himself on at least having a vague grasp on every situation and then prided himself even more on being able to bullshit through the rest of it. But now, he had nothing.
What did Akiteru mean when he’d told him to ‘re-think it’ when Kei had told him he wasn’t going to tell Yamaguchi. Did he want his only solid relationship with someone else to fall apart? Or well, that wasn’t true. No matter how much he complained, he was fairly close friends with the other second years and begrudgingly the third years. Or at least it was begrudging on the delinquent-duos front. He respected Ennoshita a lot. And Narita and Kinoshita were funny and didn’t actually annoy the shit out of him.
But it was different with Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi was his best friend. And had been his first and only friend for a long time. Out of everyone, Yamaguchi was the one he knew he’d be devastated without if he lost him. Stupid mushy romantic feelings aside. If he lost Yamaguchi, his entire world would collapse.
Groaning at himself over the dramatics he huffs out an angry sigh. Watching as his breath fogs up in the cold. When did he even get like this? All dramatic and truthful.
“This is disgusting.” He mutters to Akiteru when his brother comes out, holding two very full bags and Kei accepts the lighter one without complaint.
“What is?”
“Having feelings.”
“Oh don’t be such a teenager.” Akiteru chuckles. “You have feelings. You’re very aware of your own feelings, we both know that no matter how much you don’t like showing them. You’re a sensitive child.”
“Shut the fuck uuuuuuup.” Kei shoulder checks him.
“See! Point proved.” Akiteru laughs, shoving him right back, and he manages to make Kei stumble a little given how he hadn’t stopped working out in college. “You’re just not used to being in love. That’s okay. Nobody is.”
“So i’m going to be whiny and poetic and gross until this forever then?” Kei asks, horrified. All rational had gone out the window at this point.
“You think you’ll be in love with Yams forever?” Akiteru says, tone sly and wheedling again and Kei regrets every decision he’s ever made that leads up to this point.
“Don’t you dare say anything to anyone. Especially not Yamaguchi.”
“I won’t I won’t. I promise.” The feeling of relief he gets from that promise is very short lived as Akiteru continues. “But I think you should though.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s my best friend and there’s no way he’d ever like me back?” He glances up so as not to look at his brother and scowls when he catches sight of the stars, mocking him almost as they reminded him of his friends' freckles. He focuses on his feet.
“Fucking hell.” Akiteru sighs, muttering something else under his breath that Kei can’t catch. “Just, open your eyes a bit wider. Try and look a bit closer at things. Hell, talk to your friends about it!”
“Can you stop being cryptic?”
“No.” He says, apologetic and that has Kei curious enough that it’s infuriating.
“Fine. Whatever. Don’t tell me anything.”
“I’m sorry Kei just. Try and see the trees in the forest okay?”
“Isn’t the saying ‘can’t see the forest for the trees’?”
“Well yeah, but reverse that?”
“What, try and look at the details instead of the bigger picture?” He really wasn’t making any damn sense. “Alright fuck this i’m going ahead.”
“Noooooo Kei come on i’ll drop it.”
“Please do.”
“Dropping it. It’s dropped.” Akiteru promises. “Come on. I’m starving.”
“Don’t tell mum. She’ll get on your case again about not eating right.” He warns before it really registers and finds he doesn’t feel bad about the slip up of showing concern when Akiteru rolls his eyes.
“I knoooow. It’s the worst. But her cooking is the best. Maybe I should complain and get sent home with leftovers?”
“Do it where I can’t hear it. It annoys me.”
“Ah you won’t say that when you don’t hear it everyday!”
“Please don’t start about that. Mum’s already on my case about it.”
“Okay alright damn. Can’t talk with you about anything.”
“No you can’t.” He smirks, widening it at Akiteru throws his free hand over his heart.
“Oh come on Kei-”
The approaching gates of their house save him. “Thank fuck we’re home!”
“Don’t let mum hear you swear.”
“I know I know shove off.” Steeling himself, he opens the door and makes sure his breathing is under control before he steps inside. Ready to look at Yamaguchi without his heart racing, or his breath stopping. Completely ready to act normal and not give away the fact he was in love with his best fiend.
It’s very good he’s good at faking nonchalance because all his preparing does fuck all.
Yamaguchi has an apron on, tied in a neat bow in the back and Kei wants to undo it just to tease him. His sweater sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, showing off his forearms and Kei has to look away for fear of his face heating up. When did forearms become so attractive? He’s washing the dishes as something cooks in the oven and when he looks over he grins at the both of them.
“Did you guys get the snacks?”
“Yep!” Akiteru shoves past Kei who’s stopped in the doorway. “And I picked up some of that soda you like.”
“Ahh you’re the best!” Yamaguchi praises and Kei finds his stomach tighten in what he assumes is jealousy and immediately hates himself for it. He wasn’t about to start being jealous of his own damn brother. Not over something as simple as a kind word. Because if he continued, he’d start becoming jealous of everyone Yamaguchi interacted with. He was too kind for his own damn good sometimes.
“Kei got the sweets.” Akiteru continues, and finally Kei comes into the kitchen, dumping the bag onto the table.
“I got popcorn.” He grunts. “And don’t worry. It’s the microwave kind.” He says before Yamaguchi can start complaining, and Kei watches his already formed pout turn into a smile as Yamaguchi looks over his shoulder. Eyes sharp and attentive in a way they weren’t when looking at Akiteru.
He doesn't know why he notices the change. Maybe it was fuelled by his stupid spike of jealously. But he definitely notices.
“Thanks Tsukki!” He’s not sure how he hasn’t noticed before. Or maybe he had, and just accepted it as part of the landscape. Something to add to the shine of the stars and not realised what it actually was.
“Angsttttyyyyy.” Akiteru sings under his breath off to the side as he puts the cold stuff in the fridge and Kei huffs.
“Who, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks. “He’s always angsty, this isn’t a surprise.”
“Et tu Yamaguchi?” He deadpans, slowly raising an eyebrow Yamaguchi’s way as Yamaguchi dries his hands and it’s a good distraction so he doesn’t focus on the motion and get caught up looking at them. It’s worth it when Yamaguchi giggles. Head tilted back and Kei’s eyes go to where he knows there’s a small cluster of freckles under his chin. Really, how had he not realised his feelings sooner?
“Just accept that you're angsty Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s giggle peters off as he puts the tea towel back in its place. “It’s part of your charm anyway I wouldn’t worry.”
With the compliment, he feels his face instantly flush and he curses how pale he is as he tries to turn and look away, anything to make sure Yamaguchi can’t see him slowly start to turn into a strawberry at the compliment that was more tease than anything.
For all he put himself down, Yamaguchi was smart too, he’d definitely notice something was up. Kei wasn’t one to blush, ever. And Yamaguchi would be quick to connect his current flush with the compliment.
“Pfft, that’s the first time i’ve ever heard someone say he has charm.” Akiteru scoffs.
“Well you’re not the one girls go to to ask about him.” Yamaguchi sighs, turning around to lean against the sink with his arms crossed, and Kei turns around just in time to see his slight frown turn into something more neutral. Obviously Kei wasn’t meant to see the frown. Odd. “Not that I mind of course-”
“Shut up Yamaguchi.” He huffs. And the forced neutrality on his friend's face melts into a fond eye-roll and smile.
“Whatever Tsukki.”
“Come on boys, out. Or at least sit down instead of standing.” His mother comes back into the room. “It should be done in about half an hour.”
“That gives us time to kick your butt again.” Yamaguchi smirks over at Akiteru.
“Oh it’s on Yams. Kei, you joining?”
“Yeah yeah. Didn't know you were both so desperate to get beaten.” He drawls, following the pair into the living room and Yamaguchi hip-checks him.
“Shut up. Oh, apron.” He mutters when his hands fall by his sides, ducking back into the kitchen and Kei is grabbed once again by Akiteru and dragged over to the couch before they sit.
“Details. Look at the details.” He whispers as he pulls him down.
“What, now?”
“Yes now. This evening, tonight! Details!”
“Alright okay lemme go.” He pulls out of his brother's grip. “Details.”
Details with what though? Yamaguchi? Did it have something to do with Akiteru asking him to rethink not telling his friend about his feelings?
The only way that would make sense though was if Akiteru thought Yamaguchi returned his feelings, and that was absurd. But at the same time, a tiny spark of hope ignites in his chest. And he hates the fact that his brother had gotten his hopes up again. Because look at how that ended the first time it happened?
He wants to stamp out the hope immediately. Because he’s not sure he’d be able to cope with his closest friend leaving him if he revealed his feelings. Because while there’s no doubt Yamaguchi would be kind about it, Kei know’s he’d isolate himself out of embarrassment. And there’s still an extremely slim chance Yamaguchi would act out completely and be disgusted and leave him.
“So are you ready to get your butts kicked?” Yamaguchi asks as he comes in, hands reaching over for the controller that Akiteru hands him and he sits down heavily, knocking his and Kei’s shoulders together. Sitting closer than necessary given the size of the couch and the idea of Yamaguchi leaving him goes out the window with the gesture.
Yamaguchi wasn’t that sort of person.
At worst he’d probably be a bit uncomfortable for a while and ignore Kei’s feelings until they fell back into their regular routine. Yamaguchi was kind, and Kei’s best friend. He wasn’t petty enough to let a small thing such as feelings come between them.
Or well, this was a big thing. A massive thing in fact. And currently his feelings were on fire as Yamaguchi pressed their thighs together as they went through the motions of picking out their characters and carts.
“Why do you always insist on picking Bowser? He sucks!” Kei mutters to Yamaguchi who just chuckles.
“It’s how I feel on the inside obviously!”
“If we’re going with that train of thought what does it say about Kei?” Akiteru snorts, and Kei flips him off as he chooses his cart for Princess Peach.
“That i’m graceful and deserve to be waited on hand and foot?” He snipes back and Yamaguchi falls into his side with how hard the giggles seem to catch him.
“Tsukki!” It’s nice, having him leaning against him, body shaking with laughter. And it’s familiar too. Yamaguchi always did this. If Kei was available to lean on when he needed it, Yamaguchi would lean. And Kei would happily let him. Just him. “It means your high maintenance!” He teases through his chuckles and Kei jabs him in the side on reflex, tickling him in the soft spot in his ribs where he knows Yamaguchi was weakest to tickle attacks.
Yamaguchi yelps, snort turning into a high pitched laugh as Kei drops his controller to tickle him with both hands, one on either side of his ribs as Yamaguchi squirms away, kicking at his legs as he laughs.
For all people thought he wasn’t affectionate, he was with Yamaguchi even if it was only in private. Yamaguchi was his exception. And this situation and it’s reverse weren’t new to anyone in the room. Akiteru just tuts under his breath, carrying on customising his cart as Kei tickles and jabs at his friend.
“Are you sorry?” He asks, when Yamaguchi is desperately trying to bat him away, both of their controllers forgotten on their laps as Kei tickles him. “Take it back.” He teases, hands stronger than his friends when Yamaguchi tries to grab him by the wrists and push him away.
“Alright alright i’m sorry! I give up! I take it back!”
“That’s what I thought.” He smirks, finally letting go to pick up his controller again, ignoring the tingling in his hands from where he’d been tickling Yamaguchi. Listening, he hears Yamaguchi’s breath eventually get back under control. “Anyway. The biggest question here is why Akiteru chooses Toad.”
“Oh shut up.” Akiteru sighs. “Come on, I actually want a game before dinner.”
“And he says i’m angsty.” Kei snarks quietly to Yamaguchi just to get him to smirk and Yamaguchi indulges him as he knocks their shoulders together. Thigh going back to being pressed against Kei’s own like it’s a habit. And maybe it is.
Details.
“Let’s just play.” Akiteru shoves him, which devolves into a shoving match when Kei shoves him back. Both not putting too much effort into it despite Yamaguchi calling out ridiculous bets in the background in between narrating them like a wrestling announcer.
“And here comes the younger Tsukishima brother with a roundhouse kick! But his twig legs are no match against the elder brother's tree trunk of a neck!” He says into cupped hands as he almost dances around the couch from where he’d sprung up. “There! Another attempt at the flying fish!”
“That’s not even a wrestling move!” Kei points out, regretting it immediately when it gives Akiteru enough of a chance to shove him without resistance which leaves Kei falling backwards, backwards, and he braces to hit the floor but that doesn’t happen. He does hear a thump though.
Opening his eyes, he finds Yamaguchi looking down at him, eyes wide and worried as his hands hold Kei’s back. He’s on his knees, so the thump must have been from that. And he’s breathing a little quick. Kei can’t get over how pretty his eyes are, his hair hanging into them given he’d been letting it grow out.
He wants to reach up and push it out of them so he can see the deep mossy colour of them. The subtle green flecked with brown.
“You okay Tsukki?” He asks, and Kei nods. Arms going underneath himself to push himself up off the floor as he tries to not get so distracted.
“I should be asking you that. If you’ve hurt yourself Ennoshita’s gonna be pissed.” Kei doesn’t add the ‘and I would be too’.
“Better my knees than your head.” Yamaguchi scrambles back. “You were gonna hit the coffee table.”
“The poor coffee table.” Kei says, to try and ease the worry from Yamaguchi’s eyes and it works. Just about. His eyes are still roaming over Kei as if he hadn’t caught him.
“Akiteru be more careful.” Yamaguchi admonishes, sounding a lot like their mother and Akiteru winces.
“Yeah sorry Yams.”
“You’re saying sorry to the wrong person dumbass.” Kei huffs as he gets up, holding his hand out to Yamaguchi to help him up too. Yamaguchi takes it, smaller hand fitting easily into his as Kei hauls him up. It’s not as easy to do now as it had been when they were kids. Yamaguchi had put on a fair bit of muscle as he’d grown from being on the team.
“Thanks Tsukki.” Yamaguchi squeezes his hand briefly before letting go, thumping himself back down on the couch.
More details. Maybe.
“You boys better not break anything!” His mother calls from the kitchen. “Aren’t you too old for roughhousing?”
“Apparently not Mrs Tsukishima!” Yamaguchi calls back, tone very much conveying the unspoken ‘I can’t believe it either’. As if Yamaguchi wasn’t just as bad when they were with the team.
“Kiss ass.” Akiteru snickers and Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out, and Kei follows his lead and sits down too. Smiling internally as once again Yamaguchi presses their legs together. It’s like he does it without thinking, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and thinking back. It was. They’d been like this for years.
“It’s not my fault I'm the favourite.” Yamaguchi sniffs, nose in the air acting haughty and Kei snickers. He was certainly Kei’s favourite.
“Whatever. It’s cause you’re a kiss ass.“ He says instead of what he’s actually thinking and Yamaguchi punches him in the arm lightly with an over exaggerated outraged gasp.
“So mean Tsukki!” Kei just smirks, glancing out the corner of eye to catch Yamaguchi’s pout.
Fuck he wanted to kiss him so badly.
“Hurry up I wanna win this.” Akiteru goads and Yamaguchi and Kei snort in unison.
“As if!” They chorus again, and Kei trips over his tongue trying to get out the next word.
“JINX!” Yamaguchi beats him to the punch. It’s worth being silent for the next half hour (because nobody will say his full name and undo the jinx) seeing the satisfaction on Yamaguchi’s face.
Instead of speaking, he huffs angrily out of his nose. Clicking the button on his controller pointedly. He knows the rest of the team would be shocked to see this side of him. They’d probably think he wouldn’t play along, and to be fair he probably wouldn’t in front of them. And that’s probably what makes Yamaguchi’s satisfaction so damn loud even though he hasn’t actually said anything.
Kei likes it though. Maybe he could start letting things like this happen more often instead of shutting them down immediately. Even in front of the team. It would be worth it for that look.
And wow, he really was that far gone already huh? He’d be surprised by the suddenness but he really was an all or nothing type of person. And he’d been pretty much all in with Yamaguchi for years anyway. This was just the logical next step. At least for his own feelings.
The race has already started and he finds he’s been playing on autopilot for a few minutes and curses inwardly at himself. Just because he was in love with Yamaguchi didn’t mean he’d let him win at this damn game.
He was the reigning champ of mario kart in the Tsukishima house after all. And he still had his pride. Yamaguchi had been the one to insist that that sort of thing was important to show. So he focuses on the screen, drifting around a corner to make sure he can get an item and slowly but surely catches up to the other two and then surpasses them.
It’s easy to get into the game, even with Akiteru ‘accidentally’ elbowing him in the ribs and arm every chance he gets and Yamaguchi shouting beside him every time he makes a mistake. And soon enough he’s zipping past them both again, stealing items out from under his brother's nose and bashing his cart into Yamaguchi’s. Because his friend was good at the game (apparently he’d been playing with Hinata and Nekoma’s setter Kenma online), and he’d do anything to get a leg up.
“Stop cheating Tsukki!” Yamaguchi yells, almost right in his ear and he winces away from the sound. He bites his tongue as he instinctively goes to respond, not wanting to endure the penalty of breaking the silence, and instead quickly waves him off.
It wasn’t cheating if it wasn’t physical shoving. That was one of the rules they’d come up with when they first started playing the game. Both he and Yamaguchi had argued about them for an hour. Hunched over ‘their’ notebook.
They’d kept a notebook of all their ‘rules’ for games and passwords for forts and the like. Full of childish writing and doodles. Ranking certina things from one to ten like movies. Lists of movie nights in their various versions as they had grown up. This was the second notebook, and although it hadn’t been filled nearly as much as the first given how they were older now, they were still filling it up. Kei kept the first one on his bookshelf where it would stay out of harm's way.
“Boys! Dinner!” His mother calls just as they’re on their third race.
“Just let us finish these two races ma!” Akiteru calls, eyes not leaving the screen.
“Well it’s your fault if it goes cold!” She calls back, the despair over them evident in her voice and the three chuckle to themselves like children.
“Pause it after this race. I'm starving.” Yamaguchi wheedles as they enter their last lap.
“You’re always hungry.” Akiteru groans because Kei can’t and Kei nods at him gratefully as Yamaguchi groans.
“I hate when you gang up on me ‘snot fair!”
“All’s fair in love and mario kart!” Akiteru laughs, and Kei steps on his foot when he feels his brother elbow him not too subtly in the side in a way that wasn’t related to his cheating.
“It’s not fair if I lose ‘cause i’m hungry!” Yamaguchi argues. Voice higher than usual like it always is when he’s arguing his case and actually means it. “It’s in the rules!”
“No it’s not. I’ve seen the rules!”
“No you haven’t!”
“Yes I have!”
“Please just pause the game. I feel like i’m going to keel over and die of hunger!” Kei smiles at his dramatics, just a little, because he was so cute like this. Indignant and enthusiastic and not anxious given how comfortable he felt with them.
And now that Kei’s admitted his feelings to himself, the revelation that Yamaguchi’s adorable and funny and smart and strong and everything else good in the world seems to wash over him like a wave with everything the freckled boy does.
“Fine.” Akiteru huffs as the winners are listed on the screen for the round with Kei coming second, Yamaguchi third and Akiteru fifth. “We’ll pick this up after dinner.”
“Fine by me.” Yamaguchi grins, smug now that he’s got his way before he’s bouncing up, controller left behind him as he goes into the kitchen. Leaving the brothers behind.
“Smug little shit. I can see why you love him.” Akiteru whispers and Kei slugs him in the arm as he gets up. Scowling heavily to make him shut up. He didn’t want Yamaguchi hearing anything.
Akiteru just holds his hands up in defeat, although he’s grinning and Kei flips him off before he goes into the kitchen too. Sitting at his usual spot beside Yamaguchi and across from his mother.
His dad wasn’t home, apparently working overtime, so it’s just the four of them. And Yamaguchi is already tucking into his food, much like his mum is although she’s a lot less vicious in her eating.
Yamaguchi must have really been starving.
“Tadashi you’re going to choke.” His mother chides and Yamaguchi swallows his food. Kei’s a little ashamed when his eyes follow the movement. He shouldn’t be so entranced by someone simply swallowing food.
“Sorry Mrs Tsukishima, I wasn’t lying when I said I was starving.”
“The food isn't going anywhere.” She gestures with her chopsticks, a habit Kei had picked up from her, and Yamaguchi nods.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just eat slower.” She smiles, and Yamaguchi beams back before he quiets as he continues on his dinner. Deliberately slower this time.
Kei steals glances at Yamaguchi whenever he can as Akiteru and his mother chat about their days, and he’s surprised that at least a handful of those times, Yamaguchi is looking back. Most of the time he blushes gently and looks quickly away. But when they share a look to roll their eyes over Akiteru being dramatic about a story, he winks and Kei’s heart definitely stops.
He keeps his eyes on his food after that. Vaguely, the back of his mind screams something about ‘details’ but he’s too flustered to think about it properly.
“Times up Tsukki!” Yamaguchi taps his arm gently half way through their relatively quiet meal, fingers lingering there for a few seconds until Kei lets out a heavy sigh in recognition.
“Just as I was getting used to the quiet.”
“I mean, we’re very happy for you to not continue talking.” Akiteru digs, and Kei kicks him under the table.
“Maybe I will. Then you’ll never hear my beautiful voice again.” He sniffs and Yamaguchi chuckles.
“Hm, how will we cope without that?” Yamaguchi adds slyly and Kei kicks him too. Although definitely not as hard as he kicked Akiteru. That wasn’t different to usual though. Yamaguchi bruised fairly easily, and Kei had never wanted to be a person to cause one.
Kei stays silent then. Just to spite them. Finishing his meal off in silence as Akiteru continued to babble with Yamaguchi adding to the story every now and then, asking questions and making the appropriate affirmative noises. Every now and then, Kei could swear he felt Yamaguchi glancing at him. Gaze warming the side of his face. But he couldn’t really be sure.
He’d have to push past his pride and ask Akiteru if he’d noticed anything later.
“Tsukki! Tsuuuukki! Tsuuuuuuuki!” Yamaguchi singing his name snaps him out of his thoughts.
“What?”
“What were you so deep in thought about? I had to call you for ages.” Yamaguchi complains.
“Just about how i’m going to win in the last match.” The bullshitting is easy, and he thinks he gets away with it until Yamaguchi’s eyes narrow. The whole ‘knowing the other one far too well’ was definitely a two way street.
“Sure Tsukki.” He mutters. And Kei grimaces, knowing he’d be asked about it later. He should have gone with the ‘treating you to the silent treatment still’ excuse. But he hadn’t thought that quickly.
“Well I for one, am taking that as a challenge.” Akiteru stretches, making to get up before their mother stops him.
“Not so fast. You’re helping with clean up.”
“What? But i’m not in the rota anymore-”
“Yes you are.” She says, tone demanding no argument and Kei smirks over at him. Sucker.
“Come on Yamaguchi, we can do some work upstairs until the slow poke is done.” Akiteru always got caught up washing the dishes. The time was dedicated to catching up on the neighbourhood gossip with their mother so he’d be at least an hour as they drew the activity out.
“Yeah alright Tsukki.” Yamaguchi agrees easily, knowing his brother's habits just as well as he did. “Thank you for the meal Mrs Tsukishima!”
“You’re welcome dear.” She hums. And then turns to Kei as he stands. “Why can’t the pair of you be nice boys like Tadashi here.”
“Yamaguchi isn’t that nice ma.” Kei sighs and Yamaguchi hits him.
“Yes I am!”
“See. Proof!” He gestures and his mother laughs.
“Go and do some homework or something.”
“Yes ma’am.” Yamaguchi salutes, like a dork, and Kei leads them upstairs. Trying not to laugh at the gesture. Above all, Yamaguchi was endearing with everything he did. Kei just hadn’t realised that endearing was the right word for it and not ‘for some reason in the back of his mind vaguely irritating sometimes’.
It was probably only irritating because Kei was repressing his feelings and had switched out the real emotion with one he was comfortable and familiar with. That was troublesome. The fact that he did that. But that’s what he did, repressed things in the moment for as long as he could and then dealt with the consequences later. It wasn’t the best or healthiest system, but he couldn’t deny it worked.
Until his feelings came back and bit him in the ass.
“You’re spacing out again Tsukki, what’s going on?” Yamaguchi asks, and he realises he’s sitting on his bed. Staring blankly at his phone with Yamaguchi at his desk. Books out to actually get their homework finished so they had the rest of the weekend free.
“Tired.” He lies. And Yamaguchi snorts.
“Bullshit.” Getting up, he comes over to sit on the bed, facing Kei as he crosses his legs. Their knees touching. Yamaguchi was never one to shy away from getting into his personal space, and Kei never minded. Never.
Did that count as a detail?
“Did Akiteru say something to you when you got snacks? You’ve been acting weird since then.”
Kei looks up to find him frowning, his usual sunrise expression giving way to a thunderstorm. The freckles on his forehead are obscured by the wrinkles there he’s frowning so hard and Kei barely stops himself from reaching out to smooth out the expression with his thumb.
“Yeah.” He admits. “Just, bullshit about feelings. As usual.”
“Well we know you don’t like those.” Yamaguchi teases with a smirk and Kei rolls his eyes.
“Shut up. I have feelings.” He bites his lip. “Sometimes.”
“Hmm.” Yamaguchi’s smirk turns into a surprised grin and then he’s reaching out, hands going to Kei’s face to poke and prod his mouth into a smile. “First time i‘ve heard you admit that. He must have really got to you.”
“Fuck off.” Yamaguchi’s hands are warm and his fingertips are calloused. Kei wants to nuzzle into the contact. “You be subjected to Akiteru alone for however long and not come out traumatised.”
“I think that’s only you Tsukki.” He removes his hands when Kei gives in and graces him with a smile and Kei misses it immediately.
“Urg, it’s not my fault you’re his favourite.” He huffs, just to get Yamaguchi to laugh and he does. Although it’s a little self deprecating and that wasn’t what Kei had meant to do at all. He flounders a little until Yamaguchi answers, voice sounding more normal and positive than his laugh had.
“That’s not true Tsukki. You’re definitely his favourite. But it would be super weird if you weren’t.”
“I guess.” He huffs. “But i’m fine, okay? Don’t worry about me.”
“I always worry.” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes, looking over to his work at the desk and Kei realises their faces are closer than he’d realised now that Yamaguchi’s looked away. They’re both closer than he’d realised. But they were always like this, this close. Leaning on each other. He just hadn’t noticed properly until now. He’d just accepted it as what they did. Like Yamaguchi pressing their legs together when they sat down.
This was just how they were. And now he’s re-thinking what he’d thought about details. Because if they were always like this, then surely that meant it didn’t mean anything? Their behaviour was just habit formed over years of being close friends, right?
“Okay and this is why I worry.” Yamaguchi once again breaks him from his thoughts, voice soft and full of concern as he looks Kei over with those wide eyes of his. “Seriously, what did Akiteru even say to you? Why are you so in your head?”
“I think he got my hopes up about something again.” He admits. He can’t lie with Yamaguchi looking at him so earnestly. Fucking hell he hated this.
“You were only gone twenty minutes!” Yamaguchi hisses, and Kei would laugh at his protectiveness if he weren’t so enamoured and struck a little dumb by the instant change in Yamaguchi’s expression. “Do you want me to smack him? Beat some sense into him like I had to with you?”
“Yamaguchi aren’t you overreacting?” He asks and Yamaguchi pouts, adding to his now even deeper frown.
“No. Not if you’re hurt. Even if it’s just your feelings.” He says it so plainly and earnestly Kei is stunned once again. He should be used to this, Yamaguchi was always like this. But now, with Akiteru’s cryptic words in his ears, everything he does now has different implications.
“I don’t have feelings to get them hurt.”
“You literally just admitted to having feelings not five seconds ago Tsukki.” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes, and thankfully his frown lessens.
“You’ve got no proof.”
“I do. Up here.” He taps his temple and Kei rolls his eyes.
“Memories don’t count. They barely hold up in a court of law.”
“Yes they would, i’m technically a witness.” He’s beautiful in his indignance and Kei grins.
“There’s no crime here.”
“Yes there is!”
“What are you accusing me off?”
“Lying about having feelings!”
“That’s not a crime.”
“Well it should be!” He slams his hands down on his thighs in irritation and Kei laughs, he can’t help himself which only get’s the flush that’s gracing Yamaguchi’s cheeks and ears to darken and spread.
“Yamaguchi, we’re not actually on trial here.”
“Yes we are Tsukishima Kei! I accuse you of having and then hiding feelings! And being obtuse! And! And! And not eating the last of your broccoli at dinner I totally saw that!”
“You’d make a shit lawyer.”
“Court is in session motherfucker!” Yamaguchi talks over him, his indignant expression giving way to a grin that Kei can tell he’s desperately trying to push down despite it not working, sunshine trying to fight through the rain clouds. “How do you plead?”
“Not guilty.”
“Tough! You are! I’m the only witness!”
“Where’s your proof then witness?” He asks, voice lower than he expects although it doesn’t stop Yamaguchi, already on a roll as he starts ticking things off on his fingers.
“You’ve spaced out multiple times today. I saw the broccoli on your plate when we got up. You cry watching anything that involves animals. You love your brother so damn much which is why you got so upset about that entire situation! You won’t admit that you’re actually friends with the volleyball idiots even though you definitely are! When you’re happy but you’re around people and don’t want to show it, your smirk gets a little wider because you can’t help it! When you’re actually mad you get scary quiet! You’re fluent in our eyebrow language! You care so much even when you think you don’t! You always share your umbrella with me even if i’ve got my own!”
All these tiny details about himself that Yamaguchi had noticed and remembered. Details nobody else really cared to know, Yamaguchi had remembered. Yamaguchi had remembered them and kept them close, knew them well enough to throw back in his face like it was nothing. As if he was just waiting to defend Kei from himself.
“Your favourite season is autumn because you secretly like the sound crunching leaves make and watching the colours change! Museums are your favourite places to go because you love learning and seeing other people excited about exhibitions fuels your own excitement! You only ever pretend to be annoyed with me, and you fool everyone else with it but not me. Do you want me to go on?” He asks, a little out of breath, scarily reminiscent of the time at the training camp and Kei shakes his head.
Details. It all came down to the details.
Maybe this time Akiteru was right.
“Yamaguchi can I kiss you?” He asks before his thoughts can catch up with his mouth, head whirling from everything Yamaguchi had just told him while his heart hammered in his chest. His thoughts catch up with him before Yamaguchi can respond and he’s about to stutter out an apology, an excuse, something.
Because Akiteru had been wrong and Kei was wrong for even assuming Yamaguchi would return his feelings and now he’d ruined everything and he was going to die and-
And then Yamaguchi surges forward, pressing their lips together in something sweet and quick and chaste even as he knocks their noses together sharply.
“Don’t you dare say something to do with court.” He mutters, leaning forward blindly as Yamaguchi leans back to press their foreheads together, to keep him close, and Yamaguchi giggles. Thankfully leaning into the contact as Kei’s heart settles into something that’s just from the kiss and not anxiety.
Yamaguchi had kissed him! And Kei had kissed back! And here they were!
“How did you know what I was gonna say huh?”
“I know you.”
“Yeah, yeah you do Tsukki.”
Kei leans forward this time, as careful of their noses as he can be with his eyes still closed, he’s not sure why he hasn’t opened them, and finds Yamaguchi’s mouth with his own.
It’s still a little awkward, because neither have the experience, and Kei’s feeling far too much to register anything past the enthusiasm and love buzzing underneath his skin to focus properly as he gets light headed with it.
It’s Yamaguchi who leads, tentatively moving his mouth against Kei’s own, a barely there movement until Kei moves his own too to encourage it, opening his mouth when he feels the flicker of Yamaguchi’s tongue against his bottom lip.
“Yamaguchi.” He mutters against the others mouth when they break away, far too breathless for what they’d actually been doing and he feels Yamaguchi’s smile before he opens his eyes and sees it.
His smile is new, hesitant but content and soft, and when he opens his eyes to look up at Kei he bites his lip in a way that almost knocks Kei out. There’s nothing he can compare it to yet, it’s so new. Something he hoped he’d see enough to get used to.
“Case dismissed.” Yamaguchi whispers, and then Kei is shoving him by the shoulders.
“Yamaguchi!”
“Your face!” Yamaguchi laughs, falling backwards. Kicking his legs out to rest them on Kei’s own.
“Shut up Yamaguchi.” He groans, hiding his face in his hands as Yamaguchi continues to laugh. Loud and carefree. He lets him get it out of his system. Happy to stay hidden behind his hands until his blush goes down.
“Was that what Akiteru was talking to you about?” Yamaguchi eventually asks when his laughter died down and Kei peeks through his fingers, finding Yamaguchi leaning up on his elbows. Legs’ still in Kei’s lap.
“Yes.” He admits. “He realised i’de realised my feelings.”
“How long did that take him?” Yamaguchi tilts his head and Kei can feel himself blushing again.
Feeling things was all well and good, but actively admitting them and doing things about them was terrifying and embarrassing. He knew Yamaguchi knew how bad he was at all of this, feelings and the like, but it was different to admitting it all out loud.
“About ten minutes. Probably less.”
“Wait.” Kei can see the gears turning in Yamaguchi’s head as he pieces everything together. “Ten minutes? Did you only just realise today?”
He winces. “Yes.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve had to put up with pining for years and you only realised today? Tsukki!” Yamaguchi reaches out to punch him in the arm, an odd mixture of pouted delight on his face. “That’s not fair what the fuck!”
“Okay to be fair, I went though like, ten years of pining within two hours alright.” Kei defends himself. “That was terrifyingly overwhelming!”
“Still though!” Yamaguchi huffs. “I’ve had to deal with this for ages and pine in secret! And then suddenly you feel something and act on it straight away? Who even does that?”
“It’s not my fault!” Kei hides back in his hands. Fighting against Yamaguchi’s grip when he tries to pry Kei’s hands away by the wrist. “I got overwhelmed with all the details! I didn’t mean to ask!”
“What details?”
“Akiteru told me to look at the details because I was convinced you didn’t like me and I didn’t know what he meant but then you sat really close so I got my hopes up a bit and then everything started to add up.” He knows he’s rambling but he can’t explain properly without it even though he hates it.
“Bastard. I swore him to secrecy!” That makes Kei drop his hands with surprise. It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, although he’s not entirely sure what he was expecting either. It just certainly wasn’t that.
“What do you mean, secrecy?”
“I accidentally told him I liked you like, three or four years ago? I was really tired, we’d just got back from that trip to the beach do you remember?”
Kei did. It had been warm and gross but extremely fun. They’d swum in the sea and built sandcastles all day and waded in the rock pools and caught crabs. Yamaguchi had come back with more freckles than he’d left with. Kei definitely remembers that.
“Yeah.”
“And Akiteru was home and because you’d gone straight up to shower and then go to bed Akiteru waited with me on the porch for my dad to come pick me up. You weren't uh, speaking then so I didn’t tell you. But I sat down and was so tired, I just blurted out something about how you’d looked so pretty in the sun.” He blushes again, although Kei isn’t exactly sure he’s stopped since they’d kissed. “And then he sorta prodded me about it and I told him everything and then we pinky swore! That bastard!”
“Well he didn’t tell me outright. He said he couldn’t.”
“Pinky promises mean not saying anything at all! No hints no nothing!” Yamaguchi seethes, and it’s hilarious. Like seeing a kitten riled up, tail puffed up and hissing at anything that displeased it.
“Well I mean. It got us here.” He points out and Yamaguchi waves him off.
“That is not the point!”
“It sort of is.”
“Don’t be a smartass!”
“I’m always a smartass.”
“I know that all too well.” Yamaguchi sighs, shoulders slumping. “Urg. I’ll have to get back at him somehow. Promise breaker.”
“Well, i’m sort of glad he did.” Kei shrugs. “It means I got to tell you. So at least we’re not both pining for years.”
“That’s true.” Yamaguchi admits. He looks away for a second, eyes shifting back to the desk in an anxious and hesitant move that has Kei’s own anxiety spiking until Yamaguchi starts speaking again.
“I’m uh, I know it’s a bit soon. And you don’t have to say it back, but I love you you know? I uh, wanted to tell you before I start the biggest prank war with your brother that might end up with one of us dying.”
Kei can’t help but snort at the last part. “Can you not be at least a little bit romantic?”
“You said you didn’t have feelings! I shouldn’t have to be romantic!”
“You literally proved that I was guilty of having them.”
“I didn’t get to the end of my reasoning.” He pouts, and Kei can’t imagine what more he would have to say.
“I love you too.” He says, instead of something relating to the fake trial for fear of it escalating again into something that Kei’s heart would burst over. And he smiles at Yamaguchi’s quiet gasp.
“Tsukki-”
“I mean it.” He reiterates. “Like I said, years of pining in two hours.”
Yamaguchi shrugs. “I guess that makes sense then. You’re emotionally constipated, it would happen like that.”
“‘Course it makes sense.” Kei shrugs. “And don’t call me that.”
“But it’s true.”
“I know it’s true but I don’t need you saying it too.” He huffs and Yamaguchi snickers.
“Sorry Tsukki. Anyway, you telling me means that you can’t be that bad. Even if you didn’t mean to.”
“I’m glad I did.”
“So am I.”
They look at each other in the quiet for a few seconds, and Kei basks in the slow sunrise of Yamaguchi’s soft smile.
The unassuming silence is broken by Akiteru, of course. Shouting up the stairs.
“COME ON! I’M TAKING IT BACK IN THE LAST ROUND!”
“YEAH WE’RE COMING!” Kei shouts back, smacking Yamaguchi’s arm when he snickers.
“So, after we kick his ass do you want to help plan out the prank war?” Yamaguchi asks almost shyly as he stands, almost falling off the bed as he rolls over to untangle his legs and then stand.
Kei snorts. “Obviously.”
“We’ll figure it out later then.” Yamaguchi nods, reaching his hand out to help Kei up. And he definitely squeezes this time and lets his grip linger.
“Yeah alright. I’ll get out the notebook.” Yamaguchi beams at him. And Kei happily blinds himself in it.
“Can’t wait.” He follows Yamaguchi out, led by the hand until Yamaguchi squeezes once again just before he lets go before they get to the stairs.
“Me neither.” They share a smile before heading downstairs. It really was all in the details.