Chapter Text
Gusu Lan Institute Summer 2020 Graduates
Lan Xichen created a group.
Lan Xichen added Lan Wangji, Su She, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, Jin Zixuan, Luo Qingyang, Wen Qing, Wen Ning and Wen Chao to the group.
Lan Xichen named the group Gusu Lan Institute Summer 2020 Graduates
Lan Xichen: Welcome everyone! I would like to congratulate you all on graduating from GusuLan Institute! I know that you will now all go back home, and I thought you would like to keep in contact.
Lan Xichen: So here is a group chat for you, so you can maintain your friendships despite the growing distance <3
Su She: that is a wonderful idea, Xichen-ge! Thankfully, Wangji-ge will never be far from me!
Wei Wuxian: eww, gross
Lan Wangji: Mn.
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Su She to
suck up
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Lan Wangji to
my lan zhan <3
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Jiang Cheng to
beloved didi
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Nie Huaisang to
souldidi
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Meng Yao to
smol bean
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Jin Zixuan to
peaCOCK
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Luo Qingyan to
mianmian
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Wen Qing
badassdoctor
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Wen Ning to
tol bean
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Wen Chao to
dickface
suck up: hey! :(
dickface: wow rude
beloved didi: wtf wei wuxian what are those nicknames ????
Wei Wuxian changed the nickname for beloved didi to
angry didi
angry didi: that’s better
souldidi: lol
Lan Xichen: Wei Wuxian, "dickface" is a very offensive nickname. Why not choose a better nickname for your friend? :)
dickface changed their nickname to
handsome face
badassdoctor: liar, liar, pants on fire
mianmian: ^^
Wei Wuxian changed the nickname for handsome face to
CHAOtic evil
Wei Wuxian: is this better?
CHAOtic evil: ART
suck up: how are suck up and peaCOCK not offensive?
souldidi: one is fact, the other is a bird
suck up: hey! :(
suck up: @Lan Xichen
CHAOtic evil: lol he is leaving you on read
my lan zhan <3: Brother is occupied with more important matters.
suck up: what could be more important than his best friend in the world ??
souldidi: Dage is in Gusu ???
Lan Xichen: Not at the moment. And to answer your question, suck up, the only thing more important to me than Mingjue is obviously Wangji <3
Wei Wuxian: double burn wow
Wei Wuxian: Lan Xichen, a man after my own heart
angry didi: gross
my lan zhan <3: Mn.
suck up: @Lan Xichen Nie Mingjue is your closest friend?
Lan Xichen: Mingjue is more than just a best friend to me <3
Chat between Didi ♡ and Dage ☆
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Dage ☆: What A-Sang?
Didi ♡: you know I love you right?
Didi ♡: you can tell me if you're seeing someone
Didi ♡: you don't have to hide it from me :((((((((((
Dage ☆: k.
Dage ☆: I'll let you know if I date someone
Didi ♡: ....
Didi ♡: I'm waiting
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Didi ♡: Dage
Dage ☆: Didi.
Dage ☆: I'm not dating anyone.
Dage ☆: I'm too busy answering your thousands of messages
Didi ♡: rude
Didi ♡: Dage, you'll make me cry
Didi ♡: Dage I'm crying
Didi ♡: I'm crying sad tears
Dage ☆: Huaisang I can hear your giggles from the other side of the house
Didi ♡: RUDE
Didi ♡: they,re sobs
Gusu Lan Institute Sumer 2020 Graduates
Lan Xichen: he is my best best friend <3 <3 <3
Wei Wuxian: asdfghlsd
Wei Wuxian: I'm dying
angry didi: good riddance
suck up: ^^
angry didi: don't be rude to my brother, asshole
Lan Xichen: Wanyin, please do not use offensive language.
angry didi: don't be rude to my brother, suck up
mianmian: lol
mianmian: Jiang "do as I say, not as I do" Cheng
badassdoctor: I mean, same
badassdoctor: if anyone else than me were to insult a-Ning, no one would ever find their body
Wei Wuxian: I'll help you !!
Wei Wuxian set their nickname to
burying bro
badassdoctor changed the nickname of burying bro to
burial bro
badassdoctor: sounds better this way
mianmian: lol
tol bean: A-Jie, you have never insulted me ???
CHAOtic evil: not to your face maybe
badassdoctor: I've never had anything bad to say about a-Ning. You are wonderful.
badassdoctor: @CHAOtic evil thread carefully
burial bro: @tol bean is wonderful and I love him more than life
badassdoctor: don't like him too much or I'll bury you too
mianmian: lol
Lan Xichen: Wangji's mouth moved, I think he is jealous
mianmian: LOL
mianmian set the nickname of Lan Xichen to
Lan Savage
suck up: why would Lan Wangji be jealous?
suck up: everyone knows he is far more wonderful than someone like Wen Ning could ever hope to be.
burial bro: fite me
badassdoctor: @burial bro sharpen your knives
badassdoctor: tonight we commit murder
Lan Savage: I cannot condone murder.
Lan Savage: (although it is entirely deserved)
Lan Savage: Wen Ning is a young man worthy of the praise that Wei Wuxian bestowed upon him
Lan Savage: and Wangji knows that his own value is not, in any way, linked to Wen Ning's
Lan Savage: furthermore, Wangji is not insecure enough that he has to bring down Wen Ning in order to feel good about himself
mianmian: rip @suck up
CHAOtic evil: this gc is fucking gold
CHAOtic evil: i'm having so much fun
CHAOtic evil: Lan Extra Savage, more like
my lan zhan <3: Brother was not being Extra. He was polite and truthful, as one should always aim to be.
mianmian: double rip @suck up
burial bro: lan zhan is always polite and truthful, too
burial bro: what an amazing man
angry didi: ...
angry didi: I legit don't know if this is sarcasm
mianmian: lol
mianmian: this is wei wuxian we're talking about
souldidi: this answers so much yet so little
souldidi: also most of the nicknames here suck
badassdoctor: I like mine
mianmian: lol
CHAOtic evil: I like mine
my lan zhan <3: Mn.
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
mianmian: LOL
suck up: I agree with Wangji-ge, our nicknames should be changed
suck up: Wei Wuxian really has no taste
suck up changed the nickname of Mn. to
Lan Wangji-ge
mianmian: gross
Lan Wangji-ge changed their nickname to
my lan zhan <3
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
Lan Wangji-ge changed their nickname to
my lan zhan <3
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
Lan Wangji-ge changed their nickname to
my lan zhan <3
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
Lan Wangji-ge changed their nickname to
my lan zhan <3
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
Lan Wangji-ge changed their nickname to
my lan zhan <3
souldidi changed the nickname of my lan zhan <3 to
Mn.
badassdoctor: guys
badassdoctor: stop
Lan Savage: I agree, the notifications are disturbing my meditation.
Mn.: my apologies, brother. I was self-centered. This won’t happen again.
Lan Savage: You can change your nickname should you desire so. But maybe it would be better to discuss it with your friends instead of arguing like this.
Lan Savage: @souldidi I expect some maturity from you, A-Sang, or I will have to tell Mingjue.
mianmian: lol
mianmian: Kindergarten Teacher Lan Savage
burial bro: @angry didi and I are back!
badassdoctor: brace yourselves
badassdoctor: we had calm, now it is the tempest
angry didi: what are you trying to say??
mianmian: HERE COMES THE THUNDER
peaCOCK: lol
angry didi: are people from lanling able to say anything other than lol ?
peaCOCK: no
mianmian: *high five*
souldidi: asdfghjklp
suck up: a keysmash, huh. how plebeian
mianmian: asdfggdskljk
burial bro: aqwfuheodjlk
angry didi: qpejflkndm
souldidi: klfnefgjkl
badassdoctor: alkadjsfll
tol bean: aedsdkflghj
suck up: so mature. maybe someone should tell Mingjue-ge
souldidi: wtf
souldidi: you don’t get to -ge dage
souldidi: you don’t get to talk about dage
souldidi: actually, wait, feel free to message him
souldidi: you can explain how immature I was
souldidi: after you said I was plebeian
souldidi: it’s your life you do what you want with it
burial bro: ^^
Jiang Siblings
A-Xian: @Jiejie! we are almost home!!
A-Cheng: I already told five minutes ago, dumbass
Jiejie: @A-Cheng be nice
Jiejie: @A-Xian I know, A-Cheng told me.
Jiejie: I am very excited to see you both
Jiejie: the summer was so long without you
Jiejie: I have prepared a little suprise for you
A-Xian: is it……
A-Xian: our fave soup ? :DDDDDDDD
A-Cheng: are we finally getting rid of a-xian? :DDDDDDDD
A-Cheng: can I get a dog?
A-Xian: wow rude
Jiejie: it is indeed soup!
Jiejie: we are not kicking out A-Xian
A-Xian: yay! :DD
Jiejie: not yet, at least :)
A-Xian: nooooo jiejie I’ll be nice, I’ll promise!!
Wangxian
Lan Xichen created a group.
Lan Xichen added Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao.
Lan Xichen named the group Wangxian
Lan Xichen: You all know what this group is about.
Lan Xichen: My brother and Wei Wuxian have reached new heights of oblivious.
Lan Xichen: I do not know how long I will last, surrounded by Wangji’s constant state of obliviousness.
Nie Huaisang: wow, er-ge, drama queen much?
Nie Huaisang: but yeah, I wasn’t expecting them to flirt even in a group chat
Nie Huaisang: wait no, actually, it isn’t even surprising
Meng Yao: what do you want us to do, er-ge?
Lan Xichen: We have to help them.
Meng Yao: We’ll need more operatives.
Meng Yao: Er-ge, you are close to Wangji, you can work on him.
Meng Yao: But we will need someone else, to help with Wei Wuxian.
Nie Huaisang added Jiang Yanli to the group.
Jiang Yanli: Oh hello everyone! What is this?
Lan Xichen: Yanli, you should read the previous messages.
Lan Xichen: We are burdened with an important mission.
Jiang Yanli: Oh, this is so exciting!
Jiang Yanli: Meng Yao is right, Xichen is the best spy on the Wangji front.
Jiang Yanli: However, I won’t be able to help you much.
Jiang Yanli: A-Xian pretends to be three years old when he speaks to me.
Jiang Yanli: And I am soon moving to Qinghe, so I will be far from him.
Nie Huaisang: oh, right, I forgot. You’re taking an apartment with Dage, right?
Lan Xichen: Ah, yes, I remember, Mingjue mentioned it to me.
Lan Xichen: It is because your parents don’t want you to live alone, is it not?
Jiang Yanli: Yes?
Jiang Yanli: I am moving to Qinghe to work
Jiang Yanli: I finally convinced my father to let me move out
Jiang Yanli: Qinghe is the best place to study/learn cuisine, after all
Jiang Yanli: But my father thinks I shouldn’t live alone
Jiang Yanli: With Mingjue, I will be the safest <3
Nie Huaisang: well, he is the ceo of the biggest security firm
Meng Yao: and he looks terrifying
Nie Huaisang: yes, but like terrifyingly hot
Meng Yao: …
Lan Xichen: ...
Jiang Yanli: if you say so
Jiang Yanli: I am mostly excited to go live with such a good friend!
Jiang Yanli: Xichen, you should move in with us!
Jiang Yanli: we could be the entire squad, as we were at the Institute <3
Lan Xichen: Sadly my work keeps me in Gusu
Lan Xichen: But I will try to visit as often as possible!
Jiang Yanli: great!
Jiang Yanli: but to go back to the wangxian matter
Jiang Yanli: (which is a really cute name by the way, thank you Xichen)
Jiang Yanli: Wei Wuxian will be moving to Yiling for his studies
Jiang Yanli: the Wen siblings and he will all be studying medicine
Jiang Yanli: not the same kind of medicine, but it’s all the same faculty
Jiang Yanli: so they are taking an apartment together
Nie Huaisang: I forgot about that, too
Nie Huaisang: I only remembered what Jiang Cheng will be doing
Meng Yao: aren’t you two moving in together?
Nie Huaisang: wow you make it sound like we’re a couple
Nie Huaisang: we’re not
Nie Huaisang: just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean we’re dating
Nie Huaisang: he’s rude but he’s my bff
Nie Huaisang: he tries to be scary but I’ve lived with Dage my whole life so…
Jiang Yanli: wait
Jiang Yanli: A-Cheng is gay?
Nie Huaisang: ….
Nie Huaisang: would you believe me if I said that we are both gay as in happy
Nie Huaisang: happy to be moving in together
Nie Huaisang: as two very heterosexual friends
Nie Huaisang: str8 bros
Nie Huaisang: 8ft apart because we’re not gay
Meng Yao: real subtle
Lan Xichen: Next time, just say it was the autocorrect.
Meng Yao: it’s not really better, er-ge
Jiang Yanli: I’m not angry
Jiang Yanli: As long as A-Cheng is happy, so am I <3
Jiang Yanli: As long as he is gay hihihi
Jiang Yanli: whether it is gay gay or ‘str8’ gay hihihi
Nie Huaisang: asdfbhjklpgfd
Jiang Yanli: at least we will all be close, despite not being in the same neighborhoods <3
Jiang Yanli: @Nie Huaisang, isn’t your apartment like half an hour away from Mingjue and I’s?
Nie Huaisang: more like 40min? with the subway?
Lan Xichen: If you are moving so close to each other, why didn’t you all take an apartment together?
Jiang Yanli: because our didis are sick of us :(
Jiang Yanli: also their apartment is close to the campus
Jiang Yanli: and ours is close to Nie Corp and my workplace :)
Jiang Yanli: also Mingjue is glad that Huaisang won't be too far from him for his first experience living alone <3
Jiang Yanli: I am also happy, for the same reason. my little A-Cheng won't be too far from me
Jiang Yanli: and I can count on Wen Qing to take care of little A-Xian
Nie Huaisang: "little A-Cheng" "little A-Xian"
Nie Huaisang: what about us
Nie Huaisang: the ones who really are small
Nie Huaisang: like @Meng Yao
Meng Yao: hey you >:(
Jiang Yanli: children, don't fight!
Jiang Yanli: I have to go now
Jiang Yanli: I will practice my surprised face, for when A-Cheng decides to come out :)
Nie Huaisang: asdfgjklp
Jiang Yanli: wait, before I forget!
Jiang Yanli added Wen Ning to the group
Wen Ning: hello?
Meng Yao: read up
Wen Ning: oh no
Wen Ning: you want me to be your operative?
Wen Ning: I'm not a good spy
Wen Ning: I can't lie
Nie Huaisang: we know
Nie Huaisang: do you think your sister would help us?
Wen Ning: let me ask her
[...]
Wen Ning: she said no :/
Wen Ning: she also said that I should not do anything related to politics or espionage
Lan Xichen: This is a matter of love, not of politics.
Lan Xichen: The espionage is only to help your good friend be happier <3
Wen Ning: true
Wen Ning: let me ask her
[...]
Wen Ning: she said no :/
Wen Ning: she said that I am too young to know about such matters
Wen Ning: she also said that Wei Wuxian can make himself happy
Wen Ning: or that he can stop being a dumbass and charm Wangji himself
Nie Huaisang: i'm gonna do my mianmian but
Nie Huaisang: lol
Nie Huaisang set the nickname for Wen Ning to
my sister said
my sister said: Huaisang you don't have a sister ??
my sister said: oh, I see what you did
my sister said: it is kinda funny
Nie Huaisang: kinda funny??????
Nie Huaisang: this is hilarious
Lan Xichen: It is funny indeed.
Lan Xichen set the nickname for Nie Huaisang to
dage said
Meng Yao: wow the backstab
dage said: xichen-ge
dage said: whyyy
dage said: how could you do this to me
Jiang Yanli: this is hilarious
Jiang Yanli: I love it
Jiang Yanli set their nickname to
my brothers said
my brothers said set the nickname of Lan Xichen to
my uncle said
my brothers said: @Meng Yao do you have family?
my brothers said: I've just realized we don't really know each other ???
my brothers said: you are friends with a-huan and a-jue, right?
Meng Yao: my family is quite a sensitive matter
Meng Yao: but I am glad to meet you, Yanli
Meng Yao: Er-ge holds you in high esteem
my brothers said: aww
my brothers said set the nickname of Meng Yao to
my friends said
my uncle said: <3 <3 <3
my friends said: oh
my friends said: that is very nice of you
dage said: @my brothers said you should change your name
dage said: for your sake, never listen to jiang cheng or wei wuxian
my uncle said: indeed, I wouldn't recommend it
my brothers said: hihihi
my brothers said changed their nickname to
mama said
dage said: better
dage said: your mother is scary
dage said: your mom is like dage, but with less muscle and more anger
my uncle said: While not the description I would have used, it is very accurate.
my friends said: wait
my friends said: is your mother the Violet Spider??
mama said: yes! <3
my friends said: wow
my friends said: I am a huge fan
my friends said: maybe not a *fan*
my friends said: what she did with Yao Technologies was amazing
my friends said: she is honestly a brilliant businesswoman
mama said: I will tell her that
mama said: if you are ever looking for an internship or something I can give a good word for you <3
dage said: hey he is already promised to dage
mama said: !!!!?????!!!!!!!!
my uncle said: What?
my uncle said: Why was I not made aware of Mingjue's engagement?
my sister said: ^
my friends said: ?????????? i am??????
dage said: i meant, you already are working for him
dage said: you signed a contract and all
mama said: oh, you are a sought-after employee? :)
mama said: (or intern)
mama said: I'm proud of you <3
my sister said: congratulations!
dage said: back to the matter at hand
dage said: we need to talk about wangxian
dage said: and their dumb feelings
mama said: our brothers are dumb
mama said: they're just a bit slow
mama said: and love is never dumb <3
my uncle said: Says the one who had a crush on a dumb kid since forever.
my uncle said: *pretentious, I would never say that someone is dumb.
my uncle said: Even though the word fits.
dage said: and here's the tea
my friends said: er-ge can be so rude <3
my uncle said: I am never rude. I am only polite and truthful.
dage said: whatever makes you sleep at night
dage said: now, Xichen-ge, you should start encouraging Lan Wangji to be more self-aware
dage said: when he realizes that it is okay if he has feelings, half our job will be done
my friends said: that is a big half, though
my friends said: Er-ge, find yourself a lover
my friends said: Wangji will be less stressed when he sees how happy you are
my friends said: and he will be jealous. he'll want that with Wei Wuxian
dage said: a-yao you are so intelligent
dage said: i love u
dage said: this is brilliant
my uncle said: I will try my best :3
mama said: yess!!!! <3
my sister said: I'm not sure I understand
my sister said: our matchmaking technique
my sister said: is to find Xichen-ge a partner??
my sister said: to make Lan Wangji jealous??
dage said: I see your point
my friends said: the goal is to make Wangji want a relationship
my friends said: he has to be jealous of the intimacy, of the domesticity of it
dage said: or he has to be super horny
dage said: either works
mama said: it's my didi! :((((
my uncle said: ^
mama said: also A-Cheng and A-Xian are arriving!! <3
mama said: ttyl <3 <3 <3
Chat between Didi ♡ and Dage ☆
Didi ♡: dage
Didi ♡: dage
Didi ♡: dage
Didi ♡: dage
Didi ♡: dage
Dage ☆: Yes Huaisang?
Didi ♡: so you're not dating anyone
Dage ☆: As we concluded earlier, no, I am not
Didi ♡: do you wanna date someone?
Dage ☆: I am not interested in going on a blind date, A-Sang.
Didi ♡: it wouldn't be a blind date
Didi ♡: its with xichenge
Dage ☆: didi
Dage ☆: why
Dage ☆: A-Huan is my best friend
Didi ♡: and he could be more ;)
Dage ☆: why
Didi ♡: xichenge is amazing
Didi ♡: he is handsome
Didi ♡: hot
Didi ♡: intelligent
Didi ♡: classy
Didi ♡: your best friend
Didi ♡: isn't that what marriage is? the union between two best friends who like-like each other? <3
Dage ☆: we do not "like-like" each other
Dage ☆: A-Sang, what are you trying to do?
Didi ♡: it's just that I think that Xichen-ge must be so lonely
Didi ♡: and I think that you could make him happy
Didi ♡: don't you want to be happy with him?
Didi ♡: isn't it normal that I want my beloved Dage to be happy?
Dage ☆: A-Sang, I am already happy
Dage ☆: You don't have to worry about me
Dage ☆: And you don't have to worry about A-Huan, either
Dage ☆: Why were you thinking about this?
Didi ♡: because xichen-ge is so wonderful
Didi ♡: you really should date him
Dage ☆: If he’s so wonderful why don’t you date him yourself?
Didi ♡: :O
Didi ♡: you’re right
Didi ♡: thanks dage
Dage ☆: Huaisang no
Dage ☆: it was a joke
Dage ☆: come back Huaisang
Dage ☆: do not date A-Huan
Dage ☆: didi
Dage ☆: don’t
Dage ☆: come back
Wangxian
dage said: @my uncle said
dage said: dage said I should date you
my uncle said: He what?
mama said: wait, I am back
mama said: A-Jue said that you should date A-Huan ????
mama said: he doesn’t even think you are old enough to be holding hands with someone
mama said: let alone dating
mama said: let alone an older man
my friends said: “older man” rip
my friends said changed the nickname of my uncle said to
older man
my sister said: Lan Xichen is not that old
my friends said: “not that old” double rip
older man: I do not know whether to be offended or pacified.
dage said: I’ll pacify you ;)))
my friends said: gross
my friends said: let me vomit
my friends said: if you really flirt like this, it’s no wonder you are desperately single
my friends said: i don’t know why Dage worries so much about your dating life
dage said: how do you know that Dage worries so much about my sex life?
my friends said: lol the moment we started hanging out together he sent me a message
my friends said: vaguely threatening me of bodily harm
my friends said: were I to touch you indecently
dage said: wut
my friends said: oh I shouldn’t have told you
my friends said: Dage will probably be mad at me now
dage said: i’ll protect you ;))
my friends said: do not intervene
my friends said: he’s my boss
dage said: kinky ;)))
my friends said: leave me alone
my friends said: why don’t you flirt with er-ge instead
my sister said: do you think Lan Wangji will believe it?
my sister said: if Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang pretend to be dating
my friends said: there’s no way Lan Wangji would believe it
my friends said: A-Sang is too much of a twink
dage said: like you can talk
mama said: after Mortal Kombat
mama said: TWINK KOMBAT
older man: Please, Yanli, do not encourage them to fight.
mama said changed the nickname for my friends said to
twink
mama said changed the nickname for dage said to
kombat
older man: Yanli, no!
my sister said: this is funny
mama said: thank you A-Ning
mama said: you are the best
mama said changed the nickname of my sister said to
fave baby
fave baby: I am not a baby :((
mama said: I know sweetie
mama said: it is a term of affection
fave baby: oh
fave baby: then I thank you
older man: My uncle is calling me, I need to go.
older man: But before I do:
older man: I shall start working on Wangji
older man: I will also mention that I have someone in my life, but will not give too many details, as the identity of my partner is not yet chosen.
older man: In the meanwhile, Yanli should start working on Wuxian.
older man: Wen Ning will take the relay at a later date.
twink: perfect
kombat: my identity is not yet determined ??
mama said: we have already established that you are small + twink
kombat: rude
kombat: @older man defend my honour
kombat: @older man
kombat: i am your lover now
kombat: protect me @older man
twink: this is sad
twink: abandoned by your lover
twink: so early in your relationship
kombat: :(((((
Just bros being bros
Xichen: So you told Huaisang to date me?
Mingjue: sorry
Mingjue: he misinterpreted my message
Xichen: huh-huh
Mingjue: do not huh-huh me
Mingjue: I simply…
Mingjue: I guess I panicked
Mingjue: He has been strangely insisting today
Xichen: It might be my fault.
Xichen: Su She was being weird in the class group chat that I've made, and I ended up admitting that you are more than just a best friend.
Xichen: I told them that you are my best best friend <3
Mingjue: A-Huan
Mingjue: What are we, 12?
Xichen: Well, no one questioned it. Therefore, it was a success.
Mingjue: Huaisang questioned me
Mingjue: So it wasn't that much of a success
Xichen: Well, seeing as you told him to date me, I can safely assume my success was much better than your humiliating failure.
Mingjue: You know I have a hard time saying no to Huaisang :(((
Xichen: You know he won't break if you refuse him something, right?
Mingjue: Yes, but he might cry
Xichen: He will pretend to cry because he knows he has you wrapped around his finger.
Xichen: You are soft, A-Jue.
Mingjue: It is normal
Mingjue: He is my baby brother
Xichen: I never said that was a bad thing.
Xichen: You are an amazing brother to Huaisang.
Xichen: I like it. It's a good look on you.
Mingjue: Gods
Mingjue: A-Huan
Mingjue: Can I call you? I want to hear your voice
Matchmaking Queens
Yaoi: dage really told you to date erge?
Hoesang: why wouldn't he?
Yaoi: idk
Yaoi: it's just
Yaoi: I really thought something was happening between them
Yaoi: so I'm just surprised, I guess
Yaoi: especially because it isn't like dage to encourage you to date
Hoesang: ok. I think Dage was mostly joking when he told me to date Xichen-ge
Hoesang: but I do what I want, so
Hoesang: I don't actually want to date erge
Hoesang: at least, I don't think so
Hoesang: he's too much like an older brother to me
Hoesang: but if this is what it takes for dage to realize that I am old enough to date (and to be sexually active)
Hoesang: then I'll go for it
Yaoi: uh
Yaoi: ok
Yaoi: so you don't think there is something going on between them, then?
Hoesang: well, dage vehemently opposed the idea
Hoesang: so I guess it's safe to say that they are really just best friends
Yaoi: oh oki then
Yaoi: then maybe we could matchmake them
Yaoi: maybe not together
Yaoi: but you know
Yaoi: matchmaking is nice
Hoesang: *scheming is nice
Hoesang: but yass!
Hoesang: count me in
Hoesang: who did you have in mind?
Yaoi: not su she
Hoesang: hahaha we'll keep him in mind in case we are angry with erge
Hoesang: but su she's crush is mostly on wangji, anyway
Yaoi: mostly on wangji, but I think he'd accept anyone with the lan surname
Hoesang: next step: su she + lan qiren
Yaoi: I hate u
Yaoi: this is gross
Yaoi: why would you do this to me??
Yaoi: but honestly, I was thinking maybe jiang cheng and erge
Hoesang: umm really??
Yaoi: yeah, they really got along well during our classes at gusu
Hoesang: they didn't interact much
Yaoi: not when the whole group was around
Yaoi: but you know how jiang cheng gets in group settings
Yaoi: but I saw them talk, once, when it was just the two of them, and I think there is potential
Hoesang: I see your point
Hoesang: ok, let's do this
my lan zhan <3
your wei ying: Lan Zhan
your wei ying: lan zhaaaan
your wei ying: my lan zhan <3
my lan zhan: Hello, Wei Ying
your wei ying: I arrived in Yunmeng
your wei ying: (a-cheng too)
your wei ying: jie had lotus and pork rib soup ready for us
your wei ying: it was so good!
your wei ying: but I already miss you :((
my lan zhan: Mn.
your wei ying: hihihi I already knew you missed me <3
your wei ying: we will have to visit each other, when I move to Yiling
my lan zhan: Yiling is closer to Gusu than Yunmeng.
your wei ying: it will be more practical! :)))
your wei ying: still a but of a ride :(((
your wei ying: but we'll make do
my lan zhan: It is one hour by car, maybe a bit more. I will visit you as often as you want me to.
your wei ying: aah lan zhan, you can’t say such things!!!
your wei ying: i’ll never want you to leave
my lan zhan: then I will never leave wei ying
BFFs forever and ever
nhs: so
jc: what do you want
jc: also change that chat name
jc: it’s stupid
jc: the forever is already in bff
jc: not that we’re bffs or anything
nhs: ah, my cute tsundere
jc: stfu before i block you
nhs: wait
nhs: I come with very important business
jc: ?
nhs: on a scale of 1 to 10
nhs: how good do you think xichen would look on his knees?
jc: wtf
jc: huaisang
jc: wtf
jc: wtf
jc: why would you ask that?
jc: isn’t he dating your brother?
nhs: dage said that they aren’t dating
nhs: and told me to date him myself
nhs: but I don’t really want to date him
nhs: you know my tastes
nhs: xichen is handsome and perfect and everything, but he isn’t it for me
nhs: also i’m not one for relationships
nhs: but you are one for relationships
nhs: and xichen is your type
jc: i don’t have a type
jc: also xichen isn’t an object, stop trading him around
nhs: you HAVE a type
nhs: ok no
nhs: you have a praise kink
nhs: it’s not a type
nhs: but xichen gives the best praise
nhs: he has a good voice for praise, too
jc: stfu
jc: i’ll block you
jc: why would you even propose something like this
jc: wtf
nhs: but like
nhs: if I were to organize you two a date
nhs: would you go?
jc: no
jc: I don’t date
nhs: that is a sad way to live, my bff forever and ever
jc: urgh
nhs: also i think you are his type
nhs: he likes being the bigger person
jc: bold of you to tease my about my height
jc: you midget
nhs: die
nhs: i say that very respectfully and with all my affection, of course <3
nhs: but die
nhs: what I meant is
nhs: xichen likes taking care of people, being the most mature, blah blah blah
nhs: and you
nhs: deserve to be taken care of
jc: I’m not a child
nhs: asdfghjkl stop willfully misunderstanding me!
nhs: what i mean is
nhs: you are a tsundere
nhs: acting all rough and harsh
nhs: but you like it when people take care of you
nhs: you get all soft
jc: yeah, isn’t being soft a bad thing, tho?
nhs: asdfghjkl i love you
nhs: in romance, soft = good
nhs: but if we’re talking about sex… ;))))
nhs: but also we already established that you have a praise kink, so if I were you I wouldn’t worry about that
jc: omfg
jc: leave me alone
jc: I do not have a praise kink
nhs: mmmm
nhs: from what I have witnessed
jc: it was once!
nhs: if you say so ;))
jc: why would you want me to date xichen, anyway?
jc: we just left gusu
jc: yunmeng and gusu are so far
nhs: yes but soon we will be in lanling :))))
nhs: (living together, yay!!!!)
nhs: and lanling and gusu are just different neighborhoods of the same city
jc: different neighborhoods?
jc: lanling is almost the center of the city
jc: and gusu is completely lost in the woods
nhs: it’s still officially part of the city
nhs: despite being a very remote location
nhs: but xichen has a car
nhs: he could visit you often
nhs: it wouldn’t take too much time for him to cross the city
nhs: he wouldn’t mind driving
nhs: not for that sweet ass of yours
jc: stfu
jc: never say that again
jc: I feel dirty
jc: also isn’t xichen a very bad driver??
nhs: ;))))))
nhs: but yes, dage is always complaining about how bad of a driver he is
nhs: but...
nhs: xichen is also filthy rich
nhs: and the lans have private drivers
nhs: so he could visit you in complete safety
jc: you say “filthy rich” like you aren’t too
nhs: you are, too
nhs: and okay, we all come from prominent families
nhs: which is why we attended the gl institute
nhs: but that’s also a reason why you should date him
nhs: he is a lan
nhs: old family, old money
nhs: well established, good reputation
nhs: your parents will love him
jc: i don’t want to date someone just because my parents will like him
jc: they already think I’m a total failure
jc: even if i were to marry the perfect man they would be disappointed
nhs: i hate your parents so much
nhs: how have they been since your return?
jc: i can’t wait to leave
jc: I love my parents, I really do
jc: but I like them when they’re not in the same room
jc: and when i’m not in the same room as wei ying
nhs: sounds unhealthy but ok
jc: yeah but
jc: they make it really hard for us
jc: mom is mad that wei ying had better grades at the lan school
jc: dad is mad at me for, idk, coming back alive or something
nhs: harsh
jc: they’re just angry that we’re all leaving the house at the same time
jc: jiejie is finally escaping the house to study what she wants
jc: qinghe’s culinary school is renowned and so much better than the cooking academy we have here in yunmeng
nhs: are they still angry about your choice of studies?
jc: yeah
jc: it’s been thrown in my face all day
jc: “why can’t you do med school like wei ying?” or real career this, real career that
jc: I’m so tired
jc: haven’t been home for 24h and I already can’t wait to leave
nhs: soon, freedom!
nhs: and i don’t get why they are so angry. you’re still taking business as a minor, right?
jc: yup. but it’s not enough.
jc: not when I have to compete with wei ying
nhs: is it still okay between the two of you? i know things are always tense when you’re home
jc: we’re doing alright
jc: i know it’s not his fault
jc: he’s brilliant, and he shouldn’t have to stop from doing what he wants to do just because of my parents
jc: I’d die if i had to do biology and med school like he wants to do
jc: and you’ve seen the way he’d dress without me to buy him clothes
jc: studying fashion would bring him no joy
jc: i just hate that my parents are always setting us up against each other
nhs: ugh
jc: at least wei ying stopped doing his little “it’s all my fault if your family is shitty” thing
jc: my parents were ready for divorce before even getting married
jc: he’s just the reason they found to get in an all out war
nhs: do you think the rumors are true?
nhs: that he’s your half-brother
jc: i have no idea, to be honest
jc: it is a possibility
jc: but he doesn’t look any of us
jc: physically I mean
jc: then again, jiejie and I don’t look that much like each other
nhs: you’re a male copy of your mom
nhs: I guess Yanli is more of a mix of them?
nhs: or she got her genes from a grandparent or something
nhs: aren’t there genes that, like, skip a generation?
nhs: like witchcraft lol
jc: oh the evil witch genes? my mom has them all
jc: thankfully they skipped jiejie
nhs: lol
jc: ttyl, wei ying is calling me
[...]
nhs: hey you didn't answer for xichen-ge
Gusu Lan Institute Summer 2020 Graduates
Lan Savage: Has everyone arrived safely?
tol bean: jie and I, yes
smol bean: Me too.
mianmian: you're from Lanling, too, right?
mianmian: you should have come with @peaCOCK and I
mianmian: the more the merrier
mianmian: when it comes to roadtrips at least
peaCOCK: it's not a long enough ride to qualify as a road trip
peaCOCK: also there are certain matters in which more is not merrier
suck up: sex
souldidi: wrong example
souldidi: the more the merrier applies specifically to sex ;)))
smol bean: @Lan Savage look at what your bf says
souldidi: the backstab
mianmian: lol what???
mianmian: bf???
badassdoctor: what happened to Mingjue?
Lan Savage: He got replaced.
Lan Savage: I chose to downgrade.
souldidi: er-ge :'((((
Lan Savage: At least, now I get "the more the merrier" sex.
smol bean: asdfgheplgkdjdn
suck up: stop it with the key smashes
mianmian: dude
mianmian: Xichen is talking about orgies and you think key smashes matter more?????
souldidi: orgies or gangbangs?
suck up: Lan-er-ge would never participate in such a lowly activity.
suck up: stop this diffamation
Lan Savage: This conversation is otherwise proof.
mianmian: rip
mianmian: no but really, are you really bfs???
mianmian: we want answers
burial bro: talking about bfs
burial bro: I have an announcement to make
burial bro: just wait a moment
burial bro: 30 sec
Wangxian
kombat: oh oh oh
kombat: is this the grand wangxian announcement????
Gusu Lan Institute Summer 2020 Graduates
burial bro: ok, a-cheng is asleep. I am safe
mianmian: sounds ominous but ok
burial bro: he will kill me when he wakes up lol
burial bro: but look at him, napping like a baby
[burial bro sent an attachment: picture of Jiang Cheng sleeping, his head on Wei Wuxian's chest]
souldidi: a cute babe
badassdoctor: I've never seen him so peaceful
mianmian: is it the same wanyin we know????
souldidi: how did you make him sleep?
souldidi: give me your tricks
souldidi: i will need them for when we live together
burial bro: I just exhausted him lol
mianmian: sounds kinky but ok
smol bean: so what is the grand bf announcement?
burial bro: a-cheng and i
burial bro: are
burial bro: BFs!!!!!
souldidi: hwat
mian mian: wut???
badassdoctor: is this a prank?
burial bro: why are you all surprised
burial bro: we love each other
burial bro: he's my precious didi
Lan Savage: somehow that is worse
peaCOCK: ^
Twin Jades
Wangji: Brother, what does "bf" means?
Xichen: It is an acronym for boyfriend.
Wangji: ...
Wangji: Wei Ying is dating Jiang Cheng?
Xichen: Apparently so.
Xichen: I am very sorry, Wangji.
New conversation between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan
Jin Zixuan: I am sorry to disturb you, Miss Yanli
Jin Zixuan: but I thought you would like to see this
[Jin Zixuan sent an attachment : screenshot of the Gusu Lan Institute Summer 2020 Graduates]
Jiang Yanli: oh
Jiang Yanli: oh
Jiang Yanli: oooh
Jin Zixuan: Are you ok?
Jiang Yanli: not really
Jiang Yanli: thanks for asking
Jiang Yanli: I'm just a bit shook
Jin Zixuan: Understandable
Jin Zixuan: I'm sorry if it was a brusque way to tell you
Jin Zixuan: but I thought it would be cleaner to just show you
Jiang Yanli: yes, it is better this way
Jiang Yanli: I'll have to talk it out with the boys, see if it is real or a prank
Jiang Yanli: is it weird that my first thought is to finally get that dna test?
Jiang Yanli: the rumours and doubts have been there for years already
Jin Zixuan: it’s okay
Jin Zixuan: I mean, it’s not too weird
Jin Zixuan: you’re just looking out for your brothers
Jin Zixuan: or *brother and brother-in-law, I guess, now
Jiang Yanli: haha you’re right
Jiang Yanli: a-xian is family either way
Jiang Yanli: and if he is our blood brother, we’ll deal with that bridge when we come to it
Jin Zixuan: how do you think your parents will react?
Jin Zixuan: from what I’ve heard, your mother doesn’t really appreciate Wei Wuxian
Jiang Yanli: oh, right, our mothers are friend
Jiang Yanli: I don’t know how I always forget that
Jiang Yanli: as for the reactions, idk
Jiang Yanli: I think my father will be glad either way. He adores a-xian, so he’ll be happy whether a-xian is his own son or his son’s boyfriend
Jiang Yanli: My mother, on the other hand, will be angry either way
Jin Zixuan: it will be harsh either way
Jin Zixuan: but you all love each other, you’ll pull through
Jiang Yanli: thank you for your kind words
Jin Zixuan: I know I haven’t always been nice
Jin Zixuan: as a general rule
Jin Zixuan: but I’ve also been especially mean to you
Jin Zixuan: and I’m very sorry about the way I acted
Jin Zixuan: you never deserved my anger
Jiang Yanli: it’s okay
Jiang Yanli: the situation was hard on all of us
Jiang Yanli: our mothers were trying to do good
Jiang Yanli: but obviously no child wants to grow up only to be told
Jiang Yanli: “hey this is the only partner you’re allowed to have in your entire life”
Jin Zixuan: still, I shouldn’t have behaved that way
Jiang Yanli: don’t worry
Jiang Yanli: my brothers haven’t made it easy on you either
Jiang Yanli: *brother and brother-in-law, I guess, now :P
Jin Zixuan: ouch, isn’t it too early still for those jokes?
Jin Zixuan: also, I’m sorry, but I am very aware of the distaste your brothers hold for me
Jin Zixuan: and don’t worry, it is returned
Jin Zixuan: tenfold
Jiang Yanli: I don’t know what you mean
Jiang Yanli: my brothers are angels
Jin Zixuan: you misspelled *demons
Jin Zixuan: they call me peaCOCK in every group chat we are in
Jiang Yanli: interesting name
Jiang Yanli: is the joke about the bird or about the size of your genitalia?
Jiang Yanli: or both
Jiang Yanli: asking for a friend
Jin Zixuan: they probably meant it as both
Jin Zixuan: but I’m not worried about my size ;))
Jiang Yanli: asdfghkljgh
Jiang Yanli: I was NOT expecting that answer
Jiang Yanli: I choked
Jiang Yanli: I’m dying
Jin Zixuan: oh shit
Jin Zixuan: Yanli?
Jin Zixuan: Miss Yanli?
Jin Zixuan: oh shit
New conversation between Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan
Jin Zixuan: you might want to check on Yanli
Jin Zixuan: I think she choked on something
Wei Wuxian: what have you done to my jiejie
Wei Wuxian: you peacock
Wei Wuxian set the nickname for Jin Zixuan to
peaCOCK
peaCOCK: just go check on your sister, asshole
Wangxian
kombat: ok, so i think we should reconsider our view of wangxian
kombat: also, someone should tell @mama said of what happened
kombat: not @me, because im dying
kombat: i wasn’t expecting this
kombat: im shook
fave baby: ^
twink: I feel like we just stepped into an alternative reality
older man: ^
mama said: no need to tell me
mama said: I’ve just learned of the situation
twink: how?
mama said: I have other spies in your gc mwahaha
mama said: also I can’t talk much right now
mama said: a-cheng is still sleeping, but I’m explaining the basics of safe sex to a-xian
kombat: they’ve had the sex talk before, right?
kombat: right????
kombat: if not, I’ve explained half of it to them
kombat: but like, the kinky half only
twink: unsurprisingly
older man: How is it unsurprising? I am shaken to the core.
older man: Both about the announcement and the sex talk.
older man: @kombat I agree with a-jue, you are too young for this.
older man: The most kinky you should be doing is handholding.
twink: good luck enforcing that
kombat: too late enforcing that
mama said: fuck it, I'm waking up a-cheng
mama said: I'll get the whole family to do a dna test
mama said: a-xian seems to think the sex talk is funny ???
mama said: okay, the situation could be funny
mama said: but doesn't he realize that he might be our brother???
mama said: he's aware of the rumours
mama said: I know there's no possibility of incestuous reproduction, but even he should be able to understand why it is morally reprehensible
older man: Are you alright, a-li?
older man: Is there anything I can do to help?
mama said: no, but thank you
mama said: i'm just freaking out
mama said: a-xian doesn't seem to realize how serious this is
[...]
mama said: I woke up a-cheng
mama said: the three of us and our parents are en route for a clinic that does dna testing
mama said: i might have come on too strong
mama said: no one is talking
mama said: our parents don't know yet, but I guess it's better to wait for the results before telling them anything
older man: How long will it take to get the results?
mama said: idk
mama said: i'll ask at the clinic
mama said: i hope it won't be too long
mama said: but i expect it will take a few weeks
kombat: i hope it'll be fast
kombat: good luck
[...]
mama said: asdfgghlkdjsngkskfnsjdkf
mama said: I am about to commit murder
twink: what ???