Work Text:
It had taken a while to stop plotting revenge, on which one he could never decide because he didn't know which one was worse, the betrayal or the fact that he killed
his mom. Either way, Tony had a hard time forgetting that day. The side to Steve he had never seen or even thought he had was what scared him the most, but at least he
knew what he was fully capable of now. The clang of the shield as it hit the hard, metal floor smothers his dreams as a symbol and start of the betrayal he felt as
Steve decided to protect that monster. But at least those on his side felt the same way he did, which helped Tony reassure himself that he was in the right; at least
this is what he thought. After multiple weeks had passed, Natasha payed Tony a visit, and he instantly knew that she was going to drop some serious speech, just from
the way she walked in. She took long strides and her hair was tied away, but most of all she had a tenderness in her eyes which for Natasha-never happened-and so Tony
waited, slightly curious. "Come on, Stark, I've got to show you something." was all she said, demandingly of course. Tony would have tried to retaliate or refuse but
she had piqued his interest. So he went with her willingly. She took him to the front of the building, only speaking to instruct him to 'follow' her, and then climbed
into the driving seat of a car. Tony stood there, defiantly, huffing a little in hopes that she would relinquish information as to where they were going. However, she
sat there and waited without saying a word. Tony reluctantly got into the passengers side, thinking he could try his luck in the car; like some of his ideas he doesn't
thoroughly think this through because he had no time to ask questions. This was mainly-definitely-due to the fact that he was fearing for his life, caused by Natasha's
reckless driving, and so he vowed to never let her drive him anywhere again. When she came to a halt she finally looked at Tony. Yet again, she said nothing and got
out of the car. Tony did so, too. Tony looked around and finally noticed where she had taken him, and anger and confusion filled his gut, she had taken him to the
Smithsonian. "Nat, I really don't need to see an exhibit on a fugitive, commonly referred to as America's ex golden boy." Tony scowled. Natasha just sighed whilst
placing her hands on her hips, "For once in your life, Tony, just shut up and come look." she replied, relentlessly. Then she walked over to him and started tugging
him in the direction of the exhibit. The Captain America exhibit.
***
"Oh wow! Not a motorcycle!" Tony exclaimed, sarcastically. To which Natasha growled something in Russian under her breath, and started pulling Tony in a different
direction, before they got too much attention. They came to a wall, with him on it. A speaker above them began narrating their tragic story together, "-were inseparable
on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life, in service of his country." Tony thought it was all pathetic, honouring a
man who killed hundreds of people, killed his mom. When Natasha poked him in the arm and pointed to a screen with a video playing. It was Steve and Bucky. Laughing.
About what, he didn't know, and it didn't matter. Because Steve was laughing and smiling. In a way that he had never seen: playful, genuine and innocent. It had Tony
mesmerized. "You ever seen him that happy? I know I haven't." Nat asked, looking up at Tony empathetically. Tony looked straight ahead, continuing to watch the video,
discovering what Bucky was saying. But he answered her with a shake of his head. He had never seen this side of Steve. "This doesn't look anything like the Cap I know."
Tony mumbled. Yet he still found himself hating the man on the screen, that man would grow up and kill his mom, that monster strangled his mother to death. Nat
interrupted his reverie when she spoke again, still softly and smoothly replying, "Because that isn't the Cap you know. It's Steve. How could you expect him to choose
anyone but Bucky when none of us make him look like that?" Tony averted his gaze to hers and he could see it in her eyes, the truth, reflecting back up at him. Steve
was always going to choose him, the man who killed his mom, the one now laughing at him. Probably joking about it right now. Tony's eyesight was fading and replacing
it was red rage, fury, determination to end this man. This sin against humanity. Then Tony took off.
***
He sat in the car, waiting for her to come to her senses and realise what a monster he is, yet when she did her face looked as angry as his probably did. "Sometimes,
Stark, you really can be an asshole." His glare deepened and his grip tightened on the steering wheel, then growled that she was the asshole, bringing him here when
she knows exactly what he did. That man doesn't deserve the pity party, he's a cold blooded murderer, and deserves to be punished accordingly. As for Steve, he still
has mixed feelings. "I'm trying to get you to realise the truth, what really happened to him, the fact that he never had a choice." Natasha spoke, tearing him from his
reverie, still not calming the rage engulfing his gut. He slammed his hands on the wheel and turned to look her square in the eyes, "The truth? I need to recognise the
truth? He is a murderer! Nothing can change that: not Hydra, not Steve and definitely not you!" Turning the ignition of the car, it thrummed to life, and he pulled out
in to traffic, wanting to get as far away from here as possible. Distance himself from that video. The one that has him questioning himself.
***
"Wait, I'm not finished." Nat growled throwing her arm over Tony to stop him. He huffed loudly, he had nothing else to say and frankly he didn't want to hear what she
had to say, however unsurprisingly she had a strong grip. He wasn't going anywhere for the meantime. He averted his gaze to look at her but she was looking straight
ahead, eyes glassy with a deep frown, and when she spoke it was full of emotion. "A week ago I shared your beliefs; I thought Steve should've handed him over and then
when I found out what he did, I knew something was wrong. Seriously wrong." She took a breath and then with her other hand pulled out a memory stick from her pocket.
It was black with a little red star on it. She turned it around in her hand and fiddled with it. "Some of my contacts were able to get this at a HYDRA facility, it's
of him, there are thousands of videos on here and do you wanna know how many it took to change my mind? Four." She turned to look him in the eye and she looked
absolutely disgusted, when she spoke again her voice was hard and cold. She explained that the videos started from the very beginning of his capture, the real Bucky,
although not long they get the point across. "Nat, what are you trying to say? Get to the point because I've had enough. Of Him. Of everything. Spit it out." Tony cut
in, having enough of this pity party, tensing in his seat. She shook her head and pulled her arm away from him. She said that she didn't really have anything else to
say other than to try and see it Steve's way, from his perspective. He would've screamed at her had she not tore his hand from the steering wheel; and placing the
memory stick in his hand. "Watch them." she whispered.
***
He'd ignored it all week, sometimes glancing in its direction, but other than that he gave it no thought and left it there. On his workshop desk. He was too angry to
actually watch any of the videos, too angry at Nat, and Steve, and him. By the second week, he lost it. Both literally and figuratively. He couldn't stand the thought
of seeing it again, yet one morning he went down to his workshop and it was gone. Poof. He was actually relieved, that was until it showed its face again, and then it
was everywhere. To the refrigerator for leftovers? It was on the door, turns out it's a magnet also, he was shocked of course, but left it there anyway. When he went
to brush his teeth? It was in the cup with his toothbrush. Needed a tool or piece of equipment? In his toolbox. One day he was trying to crunch some numbers when his
pen ran out, when he looked for one the only pen he could find was one with the stick attached to it, he twirled it around glaring at it. As if it were a person. As if
it were him. He then pondered on who it could be, originally he thought it was Nat; evidence has come through that it definitely isn't her. She's not even in the
country. Thor and Bruce haven't been seen for weeks and the others are either with Steve or house arrest. Dedicated little thing it was. It looked durable and so there
was no way he could destroy it, Natasha would never forgive him, and so there was obviously only one solution to being stalked by a memory stick. He'd have to watch
the videos.
***
He was certain the the videos wouldn't change his mind, nothing could, because nothing could change the fact that he killed his mom. Scouting for his laptop he finally
settled at his desk and plugged the stick in; the files popped up and there they were. Scrolling down quickly he saw that Nat was true to her word, there were thousands
of videos on here, and can only be identified by the date. The first video was dated November 17th 1945. He clicked it twice and then the video began; the camera was
obviously in a corner of box room, a metal slab of a bed pressed against the wall closest, with Barnes laying upon it. The camera was looking down at Barnes, so his
face was barely visible. At first, it appeared that Barnes was laying unconscious on a surgery table, and yet with a closer look Tony could see blood. Red, piping hot
red blood spouting out of Barnes' left shoulder, his arm gone. Then a doctor dressed in scrubs entered with around three others, each holding an assortment of tools,
and made their way over to him, the second they began their 'work' the screaming began. Screeching. Howling. Moaning. They were long and terrifying, at the top of his
lungs, it looked like they hadn't given him anaesthetic or a sedative at all. Around 10 minutes in they had to strap him down due to his legs kicking and moving, trying
to get away, whilst his hand tried to push them away. Then his instincts kicked in. Every other cry he screamed a name, one that Tony knew all too well, "STEVE!" he
bellowed lifting his head, furiously scrunching up his face from the pain. The doctor kept saying the same thing over and over, "Dein Freund ist nicht hier. Willkommen
bei HYDRA Soldat, Sie werden revolutionäre Arbeit leisten." over and over again like a broken record, however the other three were silent the entire time. At the end of
the video, which happened to be over two hours long, his screams were dry and raspy and his calls for Steve were prayers. It seems they were never answered. Without
much time to think the next video started to play automatically. And even more surprisingly was the fact that it continued on from the first video. He was still in
that room, with the same team of doctors, only this time they were attaching the arm. With a blow torch. He screamed for around half a minute and then passed out from
the pain. His body was limp, skin brighter than the doctors clean scrubs, almost translucent with sweat adding a thick layer on top. Tony watched the entirety of these
videos with a frown, his anger slipping away even if he did try and hold on to it, Barnes died in the video. They had to use defibrillators to bring him back, and yet
in reality he probably never did come back. The real him anyway.
***
Darkness. Imprisonment. Cold. Barnes is hunched against a tiled wall, knees pulled in and body shivering angrily; his skin developed in to a pale blue, his body is
drenched, and his eyes are screwed shut. Red and puffy. It's obvious he's been crying for a while. Probably days. There's nothing else in his cell, only four tiled
walls, with a tiled floor installed with a drain; there's a sudden rumble in the walls and then a creak, followed by a growl. Barnes drops his head in to his hands in
defeat and fear. Water comes crashing down on him, spouting from above, further chilling him and yet he doesn't flinch. He knew this was coming and hid away but he
wasn't hiding from the water, because then there's faint footsteps, and boy were they heavy. The door opens and three bulky men enter making their way over to him,
fists already hoisted in the air; and then they rein down fire on him, beating him all colours of the rainbow. Soon, their legs join in. All he does is whine and groan
in pain, accepting his fate and their anger, too weak to fight them off, even if once upon a time he might have stood a chance. Blood spurts from his mouth and nose
tainting his abusers' knuckles, until one of them grips his head and smashes it against the wall. He wails in pain, tears falling down his face either from his pure
sadness or from the hits to the face. He slumps to the floor, pulling his body in as tight as he can, and sniffling softly whilst whispering to himself. Most of it is
unclear, and the only thing that can be understood will definitely break hearts. "At least it wasn't you."
***
Tony pauses the next video before he can see anything else, he needs a moment to process; this isn't exactly something that happens everyday. He knows he should keep
going, he needs to see the fourth video and why it made Nat change her mind. Luckily the fourth video is shorter than the others but doesn't make it easier to bear. It
only lasts 11 minutes, it occurs in a larger room similar to a gym, and he's actually stood up with a soldier behind him; this time he's holding a gun, forced in to his
shaking hands, the soldier's hand on his keeping it there, whilst a man is kneeled before them. His uniform implies he's an American soldier. Barnes is very on edge,
fear written all over his face, when the soldier speaks assertively "Erschieß ihn." Barnes twists to look him in the eye and refuses in English. Suddenly, a hand comes
up and hits him on the head, "Deine Sprache zu sprechen!" Barnes then responds in German weakly. Then the soldier brings out something that completely takes over
Barnes' body, it looks like a weird shaped hat, and this pushes Barnes over his limit again. The soldier repeats himself repetively "Erschieß ihn! Erschieß ihn!"
Whilst crying, Barnes looks away and goes to pull the trigger when the soldier behind him forces his head forward to watch. The American soldier collapses to the floor
and Barnes cries out in guilt, it doesn't last long though, because the soldier hits him with a bat, knocking him unconscious. Tony grimaces as Barnes' head ping pongs
off of the bat and then he too, collapses to the floor. Tony slams the laptop shut.
***
Tony couldn't stop the thoughts from flying through his brain, mainly because his feelings were changing slightly, and he was so sure that they wouldn't; he's still
angry, really fucking angry, but he's beginning to understand why Steve did what he did. Barnes never had a choice, in anything that happened to him, and the same goes
for Steve. There was no other option but protecting Barnes, after what happened to him he needs to be free, and Steve being the symbol of freedom (being best friends
since childhood helps too) is exactly what Barnes needs. Therefore, Tony decided to let the revenge plans and hatred for the pair of them go, he couldn't ignore the
betrayal but he understand why. And so he lets go and starts to patch things together in his life. And start to heal the damage that has been done.