Chapter Text
It was a beautiful day outside Toriel’s home that Sunday afternoon. Birds were singing, and the enormous bouquet of flowers bloomed magnificently in the middle of the living room. Party banners and balloons covered the entire interior. The presents had been opened and the cake messily devoured, with suspicious, icing-covered dog tracks leading away from it. By now, most of the guests had already departed for the day after giving the human their well wishes. The party had been a wild success. Well, for the most part.
Despite the cheerful-looking surroundings, the living room felt gloomy as a foggy, rainy day, due to the skeleton wearing an uncharacteristic frown while sitting despondently in his chair.
“It’s ok Papyrus, you didn’t know.” Undyne said, trying to comfort him. “The ivy in the flowers just made Frisk a little itchy!”
“BUT, BUT… JUST LOOK AT THEM!” Papyrus gestured wildly with his gloved hands at the human.
Toriel was treating the child in the kitchen. Even from the living room, the monsters could see the large, splotches of red covering their arms and face. Toriel scolded them now and then about scratching the rashes. Frisk turned and squinted at Papyrus from the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut, and gave him an encouraging thumbs up.
Undyne smiled and waved back at the human. “See! They're fine! It’ll take more than a few stupid plants to knock them down, remember?!”
Asgore winced at the human’s appearance, but nodded in agreement. “Indeed. While humans (and hamsters for some odd reason) are highly allergic to poison oak, it is a common allergy and not overly dangerous. Frisk should recover in no time.”
Still, the skeleton looked dejected and moaned, “I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH MY BONE GIFTS. BUT... I JUST WANTED TO CHANGE IT UP THIS YEAR! WHEN I HEARD THAT FRISK WAS BANNED FROM BRINGING FLOWEY TO SCHOOL, AND DIDN’T HAVE A PLANT FOR THE SCIENCE YEAR-LONG PLANT-GROWING PROJECT, I THOUGHT I’D GET THEM A SUBSTITUTE!
I FOUND A COOL-LOOKING FERN AND BOUGHT IT A MONTH IN ADVANCE, BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THEY SHOULD DO THEIR PRESENT SHOPPING EARLY… INSTEAD OF WAITING TILL THE LAST MINUTE LIKE SOME PEOPLE!!”
Papyrus gave a not-so-subtle, side-eye in the couch’s direction. Another monster was lying down on the couch, hidden from view by the massive bouquet of flowers.
A slightly muffled voice came from behind the flowers. “hey... i just didn’t want to be “rash” about picking a gift.”
The rashly-made pun filled the room with dead air for several moments. In response, both Papyrus and Undyne chucked their paper-napkin balls at Sans. The various bits of party trash soared over the flower bouquet and found its target, bouncing off San’s skull and falling onto the floor.
“worth it.”
Asgore chuckled.
Papyrus gave another irritated glance in Sans direction, but sighed resignedly and continued. “BROTHERLY PROCRASTINATION ASIDE, WHEN I WENT TO GET IT OUT OF MY CLOSET THIS MORNING, IT WAS ALL BROWN! THERE WASN’T ANY TIME LEFT, SO I WENT INTO THE WOODS, AND FL-
I MEAN... A GOOD FRIEND HELPED ME PICK OUT SOME FLOWERS AND PLANTS FOR A LAST-MINUTE BIRTHDAY BOUQUET! SO WITH SOME CAREFUL ARRANGING, I THINK IT TURNED OUT LOOKING BETTER THAN THE FERN!”
Papyrus turned and proudly looked at the flowers on the coffee table. The bouquet of flowers was truly massive, standing roughly four feet tall off the coffee table. The various yellow flowers, ferns, and ivy encircled a carefully sculpted section of white and red flowers. The white flowers in the center took on a certain familiar face shape with the red flowers gathered underneath and flaring off to the side in a line, like a dramatic scarf.
Papyrus scratched his chin with a gloved hand, then straightened back up with a smile as he beheld his floral artistry. “WELL, AT LEAST THE YELLOW FLOWERS SHOULD STILL LOOK FINE IF I REMOVE THE IVY.”
A sneeze suddenly came from the couch behind the bouquet. “uh about that pap, i just got a closer look at those yellow flowers and i hate to tell you but…”
“You’ll want to leave out those yellow ones as those are unfortunately, um Sneezeweed.” Asgore said.
“SNEEZEWEED??”
“And the white ones too. Those are Poison Hemlock.”
“POISON HEMLOCK??” The skeleton sagged as he looked at the flowers in horror. “AWW MAN.”
Asgore patted Papyrus on the back. “It’s quite all right. Many surface plants look similar and it can be hard to tell which are safe for different species, even to an experienced botanist as myself. Mmm. Do you by any chance still have that plant? I can try looking at it and see if there is anything I can do.”
“WELL, YES BUT...” Papyrus grimaced as he pulled a very sad-looking, potted plant from behind the couch. It was completely blackened and brown. The potting soil was almost overflowing with moldy and dank water. The fern was obviously dead and beyond saving.
“Oh dear…” Asgore inspected the deceased plant. “And you said you left it in the closet for… a month?”
“YES? I MADE SURE IT HAD A LOT OF WATER BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE CLOSET. OH NO! DID IT SUFFOCATE??”
“No, rather I believe it was the lack of sun. Unlike the plants underground that live off water and magic, the surface plants rely on the sun to live.”
“BUT THAT STILL MEANS I KILLED IT! I’M A HERBACIDIST NOW!”
“it's quite alright! It was an honest mistake after all.”
Despite the words of encouragement, Papyrus sagged further down in his chair.
The former king hated to see the skeleton’s usually-cheerful face so downcast. He stroked his goatee, trying to think of how to raise his spirits. “Say, I will be home all day tomorrow. I have many potted plants to spare in my garden. If you like, I can help you pick out a new one."
Papyrus’s eyes popped out in surprise from the boss monster’s kind offer. “REALLY??”
“Yeah!!” Undyne roared and slapped Papyrus on the back (nearly knocking him off the chair), “And he’ll totally train you on how to keep those wimpy plants alive! Right big guy?”
“Er, teach him? Oh yes Papyrus. If you like, I would more than glad to teach you about surface plants.” Asgore’s face brightened considerably at Undyne’s suggestion.
“WOWEE... I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.” Suddenly Papyrus bounded out of the chair and began shaking Asgore’s hand vigorously. “THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOUR MAJESTY! I WON’T LET YOU DOWN! I’LL BE THERE EXTRA EARLY TOMORROW!
IN FACT! I’LL GO TO THE LIBRARBY RIGHT NOW SO I CAN PROPERLY READ UP ON PLANTS AND PREPARE FOR THE LESSONS!”
“You’re quite welcome! But-”
A very loud and hearty “NYEH HEH HEH!” drowned out Asgore’s words and the tall skeleton didn’t hear him. He saluted the former king, and suddenly bounded out the front door. The sound of the door slamming echoed all throughout the house, leaving the two monsters in silence as they watched Papyrus run and disappear into the distance from the window.
“Oh dear... I don’t think he realizes the human libraries are closed on Sundays.”
“Fhu hu hu hu!!” Undyne cackled. “You have to love that guy’s energy and passion!! He’ll be there and back here before you know it.”
Toriel’s voice suddenly called from the kitchen. “Hello? Could one of you please go into the bathroom and bring me the tube of “calamari” lotion? ... Wait, did I say something funny, Frisk? Oh! I apologize! It will be a tube labeled “calamine” lotion.”
Asgore raised his voice in reply. “I’ll bring it for you. Please excuse me. Oh... I suppose I should take these outside as well.”
The tall boss monster picked up the bouquet, being careful not to disturb or inhale any of the sneezeweed’s pollen. He sidestepped awkwardly between the chair and the couch, trying not to disturb the furniture with his large frame.
As Asgore lumbered away towards the bathroom and ducked to avoid hitting the doorway with his horns, Undyne’s eye widened with a sudden realization.
“Oh shoot!! Hey Sans?
Sans?
Hey! WAKE UP!!” Undyne kicked the couch. The couch lurched violently with a woody, cracking sound. The snores emanating from it stopped, followed by a groan.
“oww. geez undy, do you have a vendetta against couches or something?”
“Look, when Papyrus gets back, can you PLEASE make sure to remind him that when he goes tomorrow, he should go during the DAY, not in the middle of the night like LAST time??”
“huh? tomorrow?”
Undyne rolled her eye. “Asgore’s house! You know that thing we were just talking about not even a minute ago? The ex-king is going to teach your brother how to keep surface plants alive!”
“oh, that thing. sure, i’ll remind him.”
She sighed in exasperation. “You’d better be sure! Papyrus may not need to sleep but the rest of us do. Asgore’s sleep schedule is on the line here, so DON’T forget! Got it?”
“no worries. i’ll remember,” the short skeleton said groggily as he settled back into a comfortable position on the couch and resumed his nap.
*****
“Knock, knock, knock!”
“Knock, knock, knock!”
The persistent knocks echoed through Asgore's home. The lights switched on, followed by a series of quickly-moving, heavy-sounding footsteps growing louder as they approached the front door. The door opened, revealing a frazzled and sleepy-looking Asgore. His mane and fur were bedkept and messy.
“Howdy! I do apologize. I believe I quite overslept. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting very long?”
“NOT AT ALL YOUR MAJESTY! RATHER! I AM GLAD TO SEE SOMEONE ALSO APPRECIATES THE EARLY MORNING HOURS AS I DO!”
Asgore yawned, and tried to smooth out his messy mane with his paw, “Oh! It’s still morning? Oh, that's a big relief! I think my clock must be fast. It said 2:10, so I thought I’d slept past noon!”
“THAT IS CONCERNING REGARDING YOUR CLOCK AND I HOPE IT IS FIXED SOON!
BUT WORRY NOT! MY PHONE CLOCK IS EXTRA ACCURATE! AND FROM LOOKING AT IT, IT’S INDEED 2:01!”
“Only 2 o’clock, good to know.” The boss monster stifled another yawn, then blinked as his brain digested the meaning of the skeleton’s words.
“Wait, do you mean to say it’s 2:00 in the morning?”
“2:02 AM NOW TO BE PRECISE!”
The night breeze suddenly blew through the opened door and wafted into the home. It smelled fresh and new, unlike the often-stifling air of the Underground. Asgore looked out the opened door, noticed the glimmering stars in the sky, and remembered.
They were on the surface; it was morning, and it was in the middle of the night. He turned back and looked at the fidgeting, smiling skeleton saluting him, ready and eager for his herbology training.
"Ah.”