Chapter Text
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"What do you mean garbage disposals remind you of your dead spouse?!"
William Lennox stared at the pile of garbage disposals in Soundwave's nest of old mattresses, assorted bedding and the Frumbles who waved cheerfully atop a pile of assorted autobot silk.
Correction.
The little hellions just smirked at him as Soundwave protectively tucked the little shits underneath zir arm wings. The rest of zir brood were out causing havoc on base. He was starting to wish the twins were out there, instead of here.
Zir blank face mask seemed to burn into him.
He just held his gaze back.
"MEGATRONUS: WILL NOT MOCK." Soundwave just rumbled threateningly.
Will brought his hands up in a placating gesture.
"Easy, easy. I didn't come here to mock eir."
The twin hellions answered for their parent.
"Good!"
"Yeah!"
"We miss eir!"
"Ain't that right, boss?"
The hellions said, as both of them looked up to their creator...mother....something.
Ze just rumbled in agreement.
"Why you come here, humie?"
"Yeah! This is boss' private area, not for weird little squishies like you!"
Will looked up at the ceiling for the umpteenth time.
The little hellions were now flaring out their mandibles and the crimson lights under their plating were now flashing in what Will recognized as insulting patterns.
He inhaled and exhaled.
No fucking way was he going to flip them off or whistle out playful insults.
Soundwave was now crooning happily at the mini nightmares and scritching their sharp and pointy head plates.
He did not need Big Mama trying to squish him.
The little shits were now purring, if purring sounded like garbage disposals. Zir digits were now scritching the hellions' chin plates.
"Frenzy, Rumble: Cease harassment."
"But-!"
"Boss!!!"
Soundwave's petting of the twin nightmares ceased.
Zir digits started to withdraw.
"Okay, okay! We'll behave!"
"Yeah, we promise!!"
Lord, even the hatchlings(?) of nightmare machine roosterhens did the puppy dog look as their optical lenses irsed open in an attempt to look cuter. All four of their eyes widened in each of their little sharp jagged faces.
Soundwave nodded and resumed scritching, and both of them happily leaned into the touch.
If only his daughter behaved that well sometimes.
"Lennox: State business."
"The paperpushers from accounting were wondering about the weekly garbage disposal deliveries. Uh..."
He looked at the pile of garbage disposals, nestled between the Frumbles, Soundwave and the nesting material. He counted at least twenty.
"...don't you have enough???"
Soundwave's petting stopped and the wide-eyed cuteness of Frenzy and Rumble became malicious slits as both of them turned to glare at him.
“N E G A T I V E." Ze boomed out.
Soundwave delicately picked up two garbage disposals with those disturbingly thin spidery fingers. Then ze gave each twin a garbage disposal to cuddle. Their thick stocky limbs wrapped around each garbage disposal as though it was a teddy bear.
Will blinked.
Soundwave resumed petting and the twins’ creepy little lenses widened again.
"Garbage disposals: Comfort object."
Oh boy. Paper pushers were going to love hearing about this. Not that they had a choice in the matter, but explaining this was going to be fun.
"Garbage disposals: Shredding noise similar sound to when Soundwave fed zir Endura, and when former Endura fed creations.”
Huh, so the garbage disposals reminded zir of bygone family meal times. Okay, he could work with this.
"Paper pushers: Can Deal."
Soundwave adjusted zir position as zir legs got tucked even tighter underneath zirself and zir arm-wings wrapped themselves even tighter around the little shits.
Will felt his lips press themselves together and he just nodded as he had his hands on his hips.
"Right. Gotcha. Reparations. The garbage disposals are a part of that."
Frenzy and Rumble were now nestled next to their creator, mother, parent thing as both of their faces opened up and their mandibles started to chew on the garbage disposal.
"Affirmative. Humanity: Will pay."
Frenzy ceased his gnawing.
Soundwave let out a sad croon and hugged zir hatchling from hell even tighter.
"Right, yeah. We uh....yeah owe you for that. The whole dead spouse thing. "
Soundwave's helm dipped.
A clear signal for Will to leave.
Grieving spouses were always hard to deal with, and them being giant alien hell machines just made the whole situation even worse.
He backed out of the Hangar and left.
-fin-