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Josh walks into the dispatch center, sighing when he sees all of the flowers. He tilts his head, spotting Maddie blushing as she reads the card from one of them. She turns, waving at him so he joins her. “Sunflowers?”
“Doug brought me roses whenever he’d....” She trails off and shrugs. “I told Howie that I couldn’t accept roses from him. Plus, sunflowers are so bright and sunny and beautiful.”
Josh nods and hugs her. “I’m happy for you. I’m also so jealous of you.” He makes a face, smiling when she pouts at him. “Not that I don’t want you to have this. Just... I want it too.”
“You got flowers.”
“I what? I haven’t been on a date since...” Josh takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Well, since.”
Maddie shrugs. “Maybe you’ve got a secret admirer.”
“Who? Everyone I know either works here or works with your boyfriend’s crew.”
“Maybe...” Maddie wrinkles her nose. “You said you and Buck didn’t exactly have chemistry, right?”
“No. I mean, I totally would, but... I’m ninety percent sure if your brother dates a man, it’ll be Diaz.”
“Maybe not.” She wiggles her eyebrows before glancing at the clock. “I have to go get to work.” She points at a vase full of nigella and gazanias.
Josh makes his way over to the vase, pulling the card out. He smiles as he reads it. Josh, I’ve been thinking of you. It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone deserves a Valentine. Be mine? Buck. Josh’s heart stutters and he licks his lips. He grabs his phone, pulling up the text feed between him and Buck that had been going since the dinner they’d had with Maddie and Chim. After thinking about it for a moment, he texts Buck. Coffee after shift? I’m off at 3pm.
His phone rings and he answers. Before he can say anything, he hears, “So, you like the flowers?”
“They’re gorgeous. Just like the man who sent them.” He smiles widely at the flirtatious nature of his comment.
“Not nearly as gorgeous as the man they’re meant for. Coffee sounds really good. I’m off at 2:30 pm. I’ll come over to dispatch. Pick you up. Sound good?”
“Sounds... really good. I can’t wait until after shift.”
“Same. Have a good shift, Josh.”
“You too, Buck.”
Josh practically floats through his day, ignoring the looks and whispers. Even as Maddie teases him about a secret admirer, he doesn’t say anything about who his date is with. When his shift is over, he heads outside, spotting the Jeep. Taking a slow breath, he walks over to it and knocks on the door. “Hi.” He chews on his lip, watching Buck’s slow smile cross his face.
“Hey Josh. You ready?”
“Yeah. I think.” He lets himself into the Jeep, sliding the seatbelt over his shoulder. “It’s...”
“Been a while? I haven’t dated a guy in... years. Really. I get being nervous, but... You’re safe with me. I wouldn’t ever hurt you. Well, not physically. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you emotionally, but I will try my hardest not to.” Buck reaches over to Josh, taking his hand. “Coffee?”
“With you? Yeah. I think that sounds nice.” Josh smiles when Buck beams at him.
Buck pulls his hand away so he can shift gears as they head to a coffee shop a few blocks away. Once they arrive, Buck gestures to the last empty table. “Why don’t you grab that table before it disappears, and I’ll get our drinks?”
“Do you know what I like?” Josh tilts his head.
“Iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel drizzle. Unless you’re working. Then, it’s two sugars, a splash of cream, and a dash of cinnamon.” Buck winks at him as he walks away.
Josh stares after him as he sits at the table. He licks his lips at the way Buck’s butt and shoulders move as he walks. He glances back at the table, biting his lower lip. He doesn’t want to be another conquest of Buck’s. Maddie had told him all about the kind of guy Buck was before Abby, and Josh remembers Abby and how enamored Abby was with Buck. But even Abby couldn’t stay with Buck. Buck’s amazing body and beautiful face could not be a good enough reason for Josh to do more than this moment. As much as Josh knew he was lonely and needed the touch of someone else, he didn’t deserve to be used.
He looks up when Buck sets a cup in front of him. “Iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel.” He sits down across from him and then slides a plate across with a huge cinnamon roll on it. “You looked deep in thought.” Gesturing to the cinnamon roll, he smiles a little. “Long shifts always make me hungry. Thought you could use a little pick me up... and if you’re willing to share, I’ll take a few bites.”
“I...” Josh licks his lips, trying to think of a good explanation for what he’d been thinking. He doesn’t want to be hurt or used, but he also doesn’t want to hurt Buck. Because he knows that Buck is a good guy and never really wants to hurt anyone.
“Josh? Do you not want to be here with me? Did I do something?”
“No. Look, Buck, you are sweet and kind and gorgeous, but I...”
“I didn’t ask you out so we could hook up. I didn’t ask you out as a joke or as a. I don’t know. Whatever you’re thinking. When we had dinner with Maddie and Chim, I enjoyed the time you and I spent together. I liked hanging out with you.” Buck shrugs. “I wanted to get to know you better. Maddie made a comment about how sad you’d been and how lonely, and I felt that.”
“You? You’re sad and lonely?” Josh wrinkles his nose. “Buck, you’re... You are gorgeous and sweet and kind. How could you possibly not have people who are dying to be with you?”
Buck sighs, licking the corner of his mouth before he sips at his coffee, then focuses on Josh. “Here’s the thing. I don’t... I don’t date anyone. Most of the people who ask me out only see the body or... the face. And they think all I want is sex. And... I haven’t had sex in... Months. Not with anyone. Well, unless you count my hand.”
Josh snorts. He can’t help but imagine that for a short time before he shakes his head. “Why haven’t you?”
“Because that version of me is in the past. I want... I want what Bobby and Athena have. I want what Maddie and Chim have. Did you see the flowers he bought her? Chim told me that she only once briefly mentioned that Doug used to bring her roses every time he’d beat her. His way of apologizing, the bastard. So she hates roses. And Chim remembered that and sent her sunflowers instead.” Buck smiles. “I’m so happy she has him, but I’m also so damn jealous that they managed to find the other half of their souls, when I’ve been out here looking, desperate to find that. And they were both in relationships before that they thought were it and...” Buck sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s stupid. But I liked you when we were at dinner with them and I thought... well, I felt a little chemistry, so I figured, maybe.... Maybe we could get to know each other. Coffee to start with. If you’re up for a second date after this, maybe we could go hiking, or rock climbing.”
“Don’t you get enough of being danger man at work?”
“What’s dangerous about hiking and rock climbing? Thousands of people do both every day.” Buck smiles at him and Josh can feel every objection slipping away. “Okay. How ‘bout... walking through a park? No hiking. Flat trail, not a whole lot of nature, but enough.”
“Maybe. If the rest of this date goes well.” Josh smiles back when Buck’s face lights up. “Now, let’s try this cinnamon roll. Which, by the way, you are eating most of, because I have to fight to look half as good as you do.”
“What? Josh, you’re gorgeous.” Buck shakes his head, peeling a layer off of the cinnamon roll. He offers it to Josh. “You don’t think you’re fit?”
“Buck, honey, compared to you? I look like a fat slob.”
“What? Not even. You’re a knockout. And look at you. Sexy button down, pressed slacks, looking all kinds of put together. I’m sitting here in ratty blue jeans and an old LAFD t-shirt that barely fits me.”
“Like you have anything to be ashamed of wearing that too small shirt?” Josh rolls his eyes a little.
“The point is, or that I was trying to make, is you look like you belong on a date. I look like I rolled out of bed and pulled on the first thing I found.” Buck frowns. “And don’t think I didn’t hear the “fat” part of that comment. You’re well built, Josh. I can see that.”
“Flabby though. You’re well built, I’m sloppily built.”
Buck shakes his head. “Well, I like your body. But... if you wanted to work out...”
“No.” Josh laughs a little. “I just... You’re....”
“No comparison. I wouldn’t want to date someone who looked like me. I want to date someone who looks like you. More specifically, you, but...” Buck leans on the table and takes a bite of cinnamon roll. “I’m hoping I can be charming enough to get a second date from you.”
“Somehow, I think you’re going to be charming enough.” Josh flushes, smiling as he peels off a piece of the cinnamon roll. “This is really good.”
“It really is.” Buck takes another piece, licking his lips after. “I don’t supposed you’d want to go to dinner with me? Instead of hiking?”
“I’d like that.” Josh nods, eating another piece of cinnamon roll. He watches as Buck eats another piece. “Do you... Where would you take me?”
Buck smirks. “That’s such a loaded question.” At Josh’s eyeroll, Buck lets out a small chuckle. “You like Japanese, right? Maddie said it’s one of your favorites.”
Opening his mouth to speak, Josh sighs licking his lips instead. He thinks that over, trying to figure out if he’s flattered or upset that Buck has asked Maddie about him. “You... You asked Maddie what kind of food I like?”
“I... I did. I’ve been thinking about this for a... few weeks. I wanted to ask you out and I was originally going to ask you to dinner, but then I realized that this was Valentine’s day and I didn’t want to make it too big of a thing, so...” He gestures to the coffee and the cinnamon roll. “Coffee and a sweet instead. Less... Less pressure.”
Josh beams and reaches over, taking Buck’s hand in his. “I’m going to go with being flattered that you’ve thought of me so much. And... Dinner is tomorrow night. You can pick me up at my place. And then after... well, we’ll see if we want some more coffee.”
Buck flushes a little and ducks his head, nodding as he squeezes Josh’s fingers. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”