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Gavin sat in the driver’s seat of his car. It was an older model that still featured a manual driving option, which Gavin was taking full advantage of by resting his head against the wheel. His hands were clutching the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He really, really did not want to get out of the car, and was seriously considering turning back. Gavin thought of Connor’s sad, disappointed puppy-like stare and Hank’s shaking head that he would undoubtedly encounter if he turned back. For a moment, the reaction seemed like it would be worth it, if it meant Gavin didn’t have to experience the misery and embarrassment of exiting the car. But that would also mean backing down; it would mean admitting that he had a problem that he couldn’t solve as easily as he’d like to think.
Sighing, Gavin slowly sat up from his steering wheel. He was going to be okay. He would just go in, attend the meeting, leave—and never show his face there again. He was going to prove to his friends that he was functioning perfectly fine. Just because Gavin came into work some days with bruises that were a little bit too dark to cover up didn’t mean he needed to go to some bullshit meeting. Plenty of other people came into work with worse bruises, more frequently. The source of those bruises shouldn’t be anybody’s damn business but his own, Connor’s stupid scanning software shit be damned. Goddamn, privacy invading fucking android that cared about Gavin and his bullshit. Motherfucker.
Slowly, Gavin removed himself from his car with a huff. It was only forty-five minutes; not even an hour. Gavin had been on much longer and more difficult cases in the past. He could survive one little meeting. After a quick glance around to ensure no one would see him entering the church, he reluctantly made his way towards the entrance. Gavin wasn’t sure which would be worse: people knowing he was attending the meeting, or people thinking he was attending church. Gag. He’d done enough of that bullshit as a child for the rest of his life, thank you very much. At least tonight he was being (somewhat) willingly judged for his kinks, and not his sexuality. The similarities were enough to be uncomfortable to think about, but not so uncomfortable that he was unable to shove the thoughts out of his head.
Finally pushing open the door, Gavin wasn’t sure what he had expected. He’d tried not to put too much thought into it in an effort to not psych himself out even more than he already had. But the scene was extremely similar to what little he had considered about the actual group. There were blue chairs making a circle at the front of the church, the type that they had always taken out for assemblies when Gavin was in elementary school. All of the church shit had been pushed to the side of the stage, out of the way of the group. On the opposite side of the stage there was a plastic, white fold-out table, a couple of different food options on top. A handful of people were milling around in front of the table, eating and talking. There were a few more sitting in chairs and standing in groups. Overall, there were about ten people in the room.
There was a man sitting in the chair directly facing the church entrance. As Gavin stopped looking around and finally noticed him, the man smiled. He stood up in greeting and waved Gavin over. Resigned to his fate, Gavin slowly made his way to the opposite end of the church. The man was clearly the leader of the group, judging from his seat and his business casual appearance (he was wearing a neat, white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to the arms— Gavin privately wondered how much this man was really trying to rehabilitate people, dressed like that).
“Hey!” the man greeted with a smile, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. I’m Thomas, and I kind of organize and run the group,” so Gavin had been right about the man’s role in all this. What had caused someone to start up such a specific group in the first place?
Gavin nodded at the man, “Yeah, hey. You’re right, this is my first time. I’m Gavin,” He had briefly considered using a different name, but ultimately decided against it. It would be more trouble to keep track of than it was worth.
Apparently this guy had some kind of chronic smiling disease like Connor did, because he would not stop smiling at Gavin as he said, “Well, Gavin, it’s nice to meet you. Glad to see you here! You can take a seat wherever, we switch it around every week. There’s food on the table over there. We’re just about to start.”
Gavin took back his earlier assessment about Thomas trying to tempt the group members. How could anyone be attracted to someone who was so goddamn… nice? Connor would probably get on with him great. Actually, maybe Thomas was an android. That would explain the borderline creepy, non-stop smiling. Gavin muttered out a forced ‘thanks’ to the group leader before turning and taking a seat. He picked a random chair at the opposite side of the circle, off to the side enough that he could see the entrance without turning his whole body.
After a few minutes of sitting awkwardly while the pair already seated talked, the rest of the group began taking their own seats. Excluding Gavin and Thomas, there were seven other people attending that day. Gavin watched critically as they all took seats around the circle. There was an older, heavy-set man who had been talking to a similarly aged woman with a friendly face. An android woman with light, long hair and soft eyes took a place next to the older woman. The man sat to Gavin’s right, across from Thomas. To his left was a scruffy man with a beanie, slightly shaking hands, and a vaguely familiar face. Sitting closely to him was a similarly aged woman with short hair and tasteful piercings. Next to her was Thomas, who now had a much younger girl sitting with a respectful distance between them on his other side. She was barely old enough to be out of college, if that, and wore big, round glasses and neat braids.
Most of the people around the circle looked perfectly normal by Detroit’s standards, possibly excluding the potential junkie and his girlfriend. However, Gavin did notice that a number of them had bruises similar to his own adorning their necks. They all varied in severity, and a few people didn’t have any at all, but it was enough to make it clear what they were all here for. As Gavin finished surveying the group, his brain took a moment to short circuit. Sitting directly across from Gavin was the only one in the group clearly marked as an android by his unremoved LED. Gavin could tell he was tall, even though everyone was seated. The man’s hands were folded neatly in his lap, and Gavin could see from across the circle that they would dwarf his own in both size and strength. His perfect posture showed off broad shoulders hugged by a fitting black dress shirt, and he had piercing eyes that were staring right back at Gavin’s when he looked up. Gavin barely had a moment to process that the android’s face looked extremely similar to Connor’s before his heart jumped back into his body.
Quickly averting his eyes, Gavin felt his face heat up in embarrassment as he subconsciously rubbed the scar on his nose. Gavin could feel the android’s heated gaze on him as he struggled. He blinked rapidly, trying to remove the image of sharp eyes and large hands. Connor’s hotter doppelganger was, well, hot. Gavin knew that since the whole ‘android revolution’ thing, there had been more than just the Connor he knew running around. Hell, he’d even met a few of them. But he hadn’t known that there was also a slightly altered version of Connor, sharper and fuller in all the places Connor wasn’t. Jesus christ, Gavin was screwed. He was so, unbelievably screwed. Thankfully, he didn’t have much time to dwell on it, because Thomas decided to start the meeting as the last person sat down properly.
“Hey everyone! Thank you all for coming today. I hope that you’ve all been doing well since last week’s meeting. We have a new member here today, so I’ll save the chit chat for after today’s session. Welcome to this week’s Choking Anonymous meeting, everybody. Everything we talk about here stays in this room, and there’s no judgement for what you’re dealing with. I’ll start off: My name is Thomas, and I’m addicted to auto-erotic asphyxiaton.
“Just as a refresher, you can share as much or as little in your intro. If you don’t want to get into specifics, that’s perfectly fine, just like it's fine to say exactly what you’re struggling with. As long as you’re admitting you have a problem, that’s the first step.” Thomas ended his introduction with a smile as he sat back. After a beat of silence where the group wasn’t sure if he was done talking, Gavin was startled to hear a chorus of, “Hi, Thomas” resound from the group. Holy shit, Connor wasn’t fucking kidding around here. Gavin was literally at the breathplay version of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. This was fucking weird and surreal and everything Gavin didn’t want to be doing right now.
The next person to speak was the African American girl with braids sitting beside Thomas. She seemed shy, but either she wasn’t shy enough to let it interrupt her introduction, or had been with the group long enough to feel confidence in their presence. She introduced herself as Anika, addicted to breathplay, and pushed her glasses up awkwardly when she was done speaking. Gavin was disappointed when the next person to speak wasn’t Hotter Connor; apparently, the group had their own order they went in. So much for going around the circle.
Gavin sat silently as everyone introduced themselves. It took a lot of self control to not mutter under his breath, but he somehow controlled himself. Sure, Gavin was a shitty person, but not a shitty enough person to fuck up somebody else’s support system. During this silence, and using his top of the line detective intuition and observational skills, he learned that the old couple sitting together had been married for a while. They had been coming to these meetings together the longest out of everyone else attending, and the young woman sitting next to them was their relatively new android third, whose superhuman strength made her the perfect contender for scratching an asphyxiation itch. The junkie’s name was Leo, and he apparently had a similar taste in women as he did weird hats, because the punk girl sitting next to him was his girlfriend. They both liked it a little too much when Smiley nearly strangled him to death.
Gavin thought his observational skills were pretty impressive, since he was able to gather all of that while only half listening. The other half of his brain devoted all of its power to trying to expand his peripheral vision in a way that would allow Gavin to ogle tall, dark and handsome over there without him noticing. So far, it was proving ineffective, but Gavin was sure he’d be able to do it with just a little more time. He was able to momentarily pause his task when it was time for the android’s introduction, though. He couldn’t be faulted for staring at the man when he was talking—after all, it was only polite—and he definitely took advantage of this.
As soon as the man opened his mouth, Gavin’s earlier thoughts regarding how absolutely fucked he was came back full force. That smooth, deep voice was going to be haunting him while he slept for the foreseeable future. Fuck, it sounded like the guy was already using his bedroom voice, and Gavin had never even heard him speak before. His situation only worsened when Gavin watched as the android’s mouth ticked up into a barely there smirk. That fucker! He knew exactly what he was doing!
“Hello. My name is Nines, and I happen to be addicted to sexual asphyxiation.”
Gavin knew that was coming, but his mouth still went dry as he heard the android’s, Nines’, smooth baritone admit that. But before Gavin could get started on thinking up all of the different ways Nines could cause him to be gasping for breath, all heads suddenly turned towards him. Thomas was leaning forward with a smile, asking, “Gavin, it’s your turn. Would you like to introduce yourself?” and shit, what could he say to that? ‘No, actually, I’m just here to consider using your rehab group as a means to my next hookup since my best friend and his dad revoked my bar privileges until I can get my shit together?’
Gavin crossed his arms self-consciously as he forced himself to remain in the same position he’d been in, leaning back in his seat, “Uh, sure. I’m Gavin. And, well, my friends wanted me to come here because they think I’ve got a problem, but I’m fine and really just here to make ‘em happy, so. . .”
The unimpressed look he was getting from Thomas told Gavin that was probably the wrong thing to say. But when he risked a glance at Nines, the amusement in the android’s eyes was well worth it.
“Gavin, I think the bruises above your collar might be telling a slightly different story,” Thomas started, and shit—one of Gavin’s hands flew up to the collar of his t-shirt, and he sneered when he felt his fingers press against dark bruising. Stupid t-shirt, he thought, as Thomas continued, “I’m not trying to put you on the spot here, but it’s okay. Everyone here is struggling with the same thing you are. You’re never going to be able to get better if you don’t admit that you’re dealing with a problem you need to work on in the first place. It doesn’t have to be an immediate, complete lifestyle change, but we have resources you can use to help yourself.” Thomas ended his speech with a bright smile, as he seemed to always do.
Sighing loudly, Gavin allowed his head to fall back and hit the back of the chair. He was awkwardly slouching, but it beat having to look any of these people in the eyes. Avoiding eye contact always made it easier for Gavin to keep his temper under control, something he’d been working on recently (not that he’d ever admit it). His first instinct was to get up and sneer, hurl threats at the group leader and maybe even shout at him. But getting into a fist fight whenever someone mildly annoyed him wasn’t conducive to ‘positive social interactions’ and ‘improved mental health’ or whatever else Connor had been pushing recently, so Gavin took his anger out on the back of his head instead. He could indulge his impulses another time, like with the hands of someone he picked up at a bar he hadn’t mentioned to Hank or Connor recently wrapped around his throat.
Begrudgingly, Gavin decided that admitting to a problem he didn’t have would be the best way to get the attention off of him. Picking his head up slightly, he said, “Alright, alright. I’m Gavin and I’m addicted to breathplay or whatever.”
Thomas congratulated and thanked him. Even though Gavin wasn’t looking at the man, he used his built-in human programming to predict that there was a 100% probability that he was smiling as he said it. Fucking social workers.
Gavin was relieved that the group’s attention had shifted off of him after that. The meeting continued in a way that Gavin could only assume was normal. Thomas went on a long-winded tangent about safety to start it off. Gavin wasn’t sure if that part was normal, or if he was doing it specifically because of Gavin. Either way, he tried to stay tuned in. He really did. He knew that walking into the precinct with bruising unrelated to work all of the time wasn’t the best look. But all of Thomas’ suggestions sounded like a one way ticket to the boner graveyard. Gavin could preach safety regulations all he wanted, but he knew better than most that all that shit flies right out the window when there’s a hand around your neck and blood rushing to your dick.
When he was done, the group went around the circle discussing their progress. Leo and his girlfriend, whose name Gavin had forgotten, were working on new ways to cope with their addictions and trauma than drugs and dangerous sex. They had tried painting, gardening, and boxing, all with varying degrees of success. The couple had had sex once that week without involving any sort of breathplay, and the other two times they had utilized the safety shit Thomas had ranted about earlier. So it wasn’t just because of Gavin, then. After that, the older couple talked about how they were trying to explore safer kinks as an alternative to breathplay. Apparently, almost smothering your wife to death with a pillowcase was a great way for both of you to get an adrenaline rush, but also a great way to almost die. As hard as he was trying to pay attention (which wasn’t very hard, to be fair), Gavin lost track at the part when the android girlfriend came in. Something about robot strength, Internet brain, and medical procedures?
Gavin wasn’t very sure about those last three points, but also didn’t really care if he was right or not. As the group talked on, his focus had slowly drifted from whoever was speaking to a much more appealing sight. Specifically, the sight of the beautiful android sitting across from him. As the meeting went on, Gavin found himself snapping out of his little fantasy world back into the discussion, only to fall back into it shortly after. At some point, he’d mostly given up on trying to pay attention at all. The only thing Gavin wanted to pay attention to was the subtle way that Nines’ fingers twitched where they rested against his thighs. Or the way the sleeves of his shirt were neatly rolled up to his elbows, exposing toned forearms covered in relatively light hairs. The top button of the android’s shirt was undone, giving a teasing hint of his neck and chest. The open collar framed the man’s Adam's apple as it bobbed slightly whenever he swallowed.
At some point during his on and off staring contest, Nines had taken notice and joined in. He was either much better at subtlety than Gavin, or wanted to make it clear that he’d notice the obvious staring and did not appreciate it, because he was still engaging with the group every once and a while if he had something to say. But every few times Gavin glanced back towards him, he would just barely catch Nines’ eyes raking over his frame. He debated for a while if he was imagining it, and couldn’t come up with a decisive answer. Gavin decided that he was going to believe that he wasn’t imagining it, just because the possibility was way better than the first one. The two of them continued on for most of the meeting like that. Gavin drank in every detail he could from that distance, occasionally catching Nines’ eye for a moment before the android turned away.
Gavin was having a great time, to say the least. He would have to thank Connor the next time he saw him. Gavin had half expected the attendees to all be a bunch of old, perverted men who wanted to talk about their fucked up kinks. Actually, did Gavin fall into that group now? Was thirty-eight old? Shit, man. Midlife crisis aside, Gavin was really enjoying the eye candy he was getting. When he bothered to tune in to the meeting, which was admittedly not very often, the conversation seemed pretty interesting too. Everyone was being nice to one another and offering really good advice. Not that Gavin needed advice, at all, but it just proved that the group was actually made up of some pretty good people. Which is why Gavin only felt half ashamed to admit he was kind of disappointed when Thomas announced that day’s meeting was over, instead of fully ashamed. Almost an hour had gone by in which Gavin listened to people with the same kink as him talk about how they were struggling to deal with it while Gavin imagined one of them with his hands around Gavin’s throat. Whoops.
Thomas reminded everyone that there was still plenty of food as everyone began to stand up. Leo gave him an awkward nod that Gavin was sure he wouldn’t have gotten if the man knew he worked for the DPD as he and his girlfriend got up. The older man on his other side made small talk with Gavin for a few minutes as they walked towards the table with the food on it, before breaking off the conversation to talk with his wife. Gavin, being unsure of who brought the food and not wanting to purposefully be a dick to whoever took the time to make all of it, turned towards the table to see what was there.
Instead, Gavin found himself turning right into a face full of sexy android. Apparently the man was good at being silent, having walked up right next to Gavin while he was distracted. Gavin looked up before taking a step back. His earlier assessment had been right; the android looked as if he had at least four inches on him, if not more. Up close, Gavin could see that Nines had a splattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. His lips were smooth and full, and his face was tilted down so that he could see Gavin properly. Gavin’s breath stuttered as he looked into blue eyes that seemed to be looking right through him.
“Hey,” Gavin began awkwardly, “Nines, right?”
There was an awkward pause as the android just continued looking at Gavin silently, taking in his expression and impatient shifting. Finally, he smiled slightly and said, “Yes. It’s nice to meet you, Gavin. I hope you enjoyed today’s meeting.”
Gavin’s cheeks lit on fire as his eyes narrowed. The android’s LED spun lazily, similar to how Connor’s did when he was amused from fucking with Gavin. Fine, then. Two could play at that game.
“You sure as hell bet I did. Real glad I came to it, actually, even though I wasn’t sure at first. But it’s a real damn shame I’ll have to wait a whole ‘nother week to have this much fun again, you know? Only downside,” Gavin countered. He was totally indulging in the inner monologue that was begging Nines to take the bait, and he couldn’t even find it in himself to care. Maybe he didn’t want to blatantly ruin some whole rehab group, but he definitely was not above sleeping with one of its participants if he was willing.
Nines’ LED flashed yellow once as he nodded his head in agreement solemnly, “I wholeheartedly agree with you, Gavin. I do not believe I would enjoy waiting that long to “have this much fun again” either. Especially so, since it’s not guaranteed to be as fun next time around.”
Gavin quirked his eyebrow at the response. Fuck, the guy even talked hot. On anyone else, it would probably sound pretentious and annoying. It probably sounded pretentious and annoying coming from Nines too, honestly, but he was just so hot that Gavin was completely beyond the realm of giving a fuck. Gavin leaned forward slightly, just a little bit further into the android’s space.
“So, what are you suggesting, tin can?” Shit, wait, Gavin wasn’t supposed to call anyone that besides Connor, it’s offensive, it just slipped out, fuck—
“Well, I thought that perhaps you would consider giving me a call if I provided you with my contact information. I was hoping you might be interested in arranging something to see if we could have this much fun in a different setting?” The motherfucker was smirking. Gavin didn’t blow it with the rude nickname, thank god, and the android—the android wanted to give Gavin his number. Had he misheard that? Gavin hadn’t thought he misheard it, but also didn’t want to just blindly accept he could be so lucky as to get the number of a guy this fucking hot.
But hey, who was he to shoot a gift horse in the mouth?
“Here’s my phone, you can put your stuff in however you want.”
God, this was Gavin’s lucky day. Connor was going to fucking kill him, and Gavin didn’t even care. He couldn’t wait to have this beautiful man pressing him up against a wall with a hand around his neck, even if he had to follow some safety shit to get there.
Gavin was in for a long, long night.