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Uruha Rushia had a problem.
Have you ever run head down towards a wall, knowing full well the impact will hurt and when it does hurt, you only have yourself to blame? Well, Rushia was running at full speed.
Of course at this very moment, she found it really hard to care, or just to think really, because soft hands were sliding up her thighs as a hot tongue made contact with her sex, licking gently the folds before lips captured her clit and all she could do was grip the sheets with one hand while clasping the other over her mouth in a vain attempt to contain her moans.
Quick laps on her clitoris made her hips buck and she whimpered again, biting back the begging that was about to cross her lips. She couldn’t give her the satisfaction. At the very least, not yet. Not again. Arching her back, Rushia took a big inspiration, trying to calm the fire in her nerves, appreciating the waves of pleasure assaulting her senses.
Her legs were pulled up to rest on a pair of shoulders, granting a better access as the bed shifted from the weight change. When two deft digits entered her, Rushia failed to repress a strangled cry of pleasure; her hand shot down, her fingers grazing soft crimson locks before she gripped the hair with force.
“Oh fuck fuck fuck.” she breathed out, closing her eyes, pushing her head against the pillow.
“Ah Rushia~ such a potty mouth.”
And all over again, she was reminded of her problem.
Opening her eyes again to glance at the girl between her thighs, she was met with a mischievous smirk and a pair of mismatched eyes, pupils dilated by want and hunger where a fire of smugness was burning wild.
Her problem: Houshou Marine.
“Are you enjoying yourself, Rushia~?” Marine asked in a low tone, knowing full well the answer as Rushia was in her most vulnerable state and definitely not hiding her wants and desires, but Marine was nothing if not a fucking tease. ‘Stop saying my name like that ’ she almost said. ‘Keep saying my name and never stop’ , she wanted to say even more.
As Rushia opened her mouth to give an answer — although she wasn’t sure herself what she was about to say — Marine curled her fingers inside her, grazing the hood of her vagina, turning every word on Rushia’s lips into an incoherent moans of pleasure. The latter only arched her back in return, tugging on Marine’s hair with a muffled whimper.
As her lover moved up, leaving a trail of open kisses on her body to nestle against her neck, biting the skin in soft nibbles, Rushia slid down her hand to Marine’s neck, bringing their lips together in a messy, hungry kiss, moaning against her mouth without any pretense of dignity.
With a few more wet thrusts inside her, Rushia felt the knot inside of her explode and she shouted Marine’s name as her orgasm hit her, coaxed by Marine’s tongue sliding against hers. Rushia’s fingers dug into Marine’s nape, whining loudly as pleasure overtook her and her eyes rolled in their orbits, her brain completely blanking out. Marine eased the pace inside her, letting Rushia ride her climax until the spams in her body subsided before pulling out. With a last quick kiss on the lips, she rolled to Rushia’s side, panting heavily.
It took a couple of minutes for Rushia to regain control of her brain and limbs; she ran her hand through her hair, forehead damp with sweat, her breath slowly coming back to a steady rhythm. At her side, Marine stretched her arms, almost purring like a cat.
And now for the part Rushia hated the most.
She fought the urge to simply turn around and wrap her arms around Marine, to rest her head on the crook of the girl’s neck, to just cuddle until she fell asleep. That wasn’t part of their arrangement. Instead, she sat up, lungs still slightly heaving and her eyes scanned the room to spot where her clothes were.
Feeling the burning gaze of Marine on her back, she stood up, casually putting her clothes back on, resisting the want to look at the girl still sprawled out on her bed, probably watching her like a predator about to pounce.
“Going already? I was kinda hoping for a round two. Well, round three for you.” Marine called out behind her, and Rushia didn’t have to turn around to know there was a shit eating grin on her face.
Zipping up her dress, Rushia answered in a forced neutral tone betrayed by the red tinted her cheeks. “Sorry, still have to study, finals are coming up.”
Marine hummed, disappointed. “Aaah, so serious, little Rushia. I guess I’ll have to call someone else to finish me off.”
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
“Haha, I guess you do.” Rushia faked a laugh, battling the wave of tears threatening to come up. One would think she’d get better at enduring Marine’s casual remarks ever since they started hooking up, and yet, three months later, the sting felt as sharp and bitter as always.
Feeling a knot on her throat tighten up, Rushia nonetheless risked a glance behind her shoulder. Marine was lying gracelessly on the wrecked bed, her half-dressed body glistening with sweat, crimson hair completely disheveled by Rushia’s assault. The sight made Rushia’s stomach flutter, as it always did.
“I’m gonna go. I guess I’ll see you later.” she mumbled, not trusting her voice to say anything else without wavering.
Marine reached for her phone on the nightstand, sparing a glance and a final wink. “You know where to find me next time you want to scratch your itch~” And with that, her attention shifted towards the device in her hand.
Rushia grabbed her bag and bolted out of the room as quickly as possible without appearing too eager to get the fuck out of there. As the door closed behind her, Rushia let her head drop against it, breathing deep to calm her nerves.
Her problem: she had a stupid crush on womanizer never-has-and-never-will-settle-down Houshou Marine, all while sleeping with her for the past three months, and really, she only had herself to blame.
It’s not like she wasn’t aware right at the beginning. In fact, that was the very first thing she had heard about Houshou Marine. That girl only liked to flirt and hook up, and never had a steady girlfriend, nor was she looking for one. Marine’s reputation around campus was a kind of urban legend. Everyone had something to say about her, not all stories were matching up, but all seemed to agree that Marine was a heartless lady-killer only interested in sleeping around. The general consensus was “better stay away for your own good.”
To be fair, Rushia had initially never intended to get close. Not that those kinds of rumours would entice her to make a judgement about someone she had never met, but because Rushia had several goals for her academic life, and none of them consisted of any sort of relationship with anyone, whether it be romantic or purely physical. Getting into medical school had been enough of a struggle to mix interpersonal relationships into it. Besides, Rushia had never been much of a people person, favouring staying in her room, playing games and reading books to going out and socializing.
So when she had first heard about Houshou Marine, her reaction had been “That’s kind of a harsh thing to say about someone.” before moving on with her life. But life had other plans for her.
The fatidic event manifested in the form of a party Rushia had never wanted to go to in the first place, but where her best friends had dragged her with insistence. After six months of intense studying, Pekora had declared that she needed a breather from her engineering classes, and had made the decision that Rushia needed one as well, ignoring the protest of the medical student in question. She had even recruited Noel and Flare to convince Rushia into joining them at whatever party was going on that night, to whatever frat house, and Rushia had found it hard to refuse her friends, so she caved in.
When they arrived at the party, fashionably late as per Pekora’s instructions, the music was loud, the people were many, and the place already stank of spilled alcohol. Noel spared no time in getting them drinks, purposefully ignoring the guy at the entrance handing her a glass of unknown content and they found an available spot on a couch. Between light chatters, some dancing and a couple of pints of beer in her system, Rushia was having an all around good time, much to her own surprise. She found herself getting swept up by the general ambiance, laughing as Pekora twirled her around clumsily, dancing to the beat of the bass resonating through her ribcage, pulsing through the loudspeaker, laughing at an inebriated Flare’s stupid jokes.
However, as the night went on, the music kept on getting louder, her mind fuzzier and her social anxiety flared up suddenly and unexpectedly. Seeing that Noel and Flare were dancing together on the other side of the room and Pekora was engrossed in a conversation about buildings and construction with a girl with purple hair that had glitter in it, Rushia grabbed two bottles of beer — for ammunition - and made a beeline for the stairs heading up.
Zigzagging between masses of bodies, mumbling vague apologies, she found the rooftop exit, welcoming the fresh night air with a sigh of relief. The music was muffled, giving her ears a much needed break, while the house still seemed to vibrate at the rhythm of the bass.
She sat down, letting her feet dangle out of the edge, looking up at the clouded sky, disappointed to not see stars illuminating the dark night. A few peaceful minutes passed and Rushia felt the anxiety inside her subside, enjoying the fresh breeze on her face.
“Hmm, I feel like I should make my presence known because it’d be awkward if you turned around and I was just, like, standing right there, even though I was here first, but I’m afraid you’ve caught me in a wit-less mood, and I don’t have anything clever to say.”
The voice rang out on her right, making her heart jump in her throat from surprise and Rushia choked on her drink, coughing violently the beer out of her lungs. Her brain took a second to register the presence of the person at her side, and even longer to process the flow of words they had just pronounced at a speed Rushia’s brain was too numb to fully process.
“Eh?” was the only eloquent response Rushia could manage after ten agonizing seconds.
The person moved out of the shadow, the light illuminating her crimson hair from below, giving it fiery red highlights. She was taller than Rushia — although that was pretty much a given —, a long black coat hanging from her shoulder as the empty sleeves floated behind her, pushed by the light wind. As she sat down beside Rushia, the latter got caught off guard by a pair of mesmerizing eyes, one a brown so deep it almost looked red, the other as light as amber.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Do you mind?” the stranger asked, pointlessly as she had already settled down.
Rushia hummed negatively nonetheless, too nervous to say anything.
A moment passed. Rushia took a sip from her drink, looking down at her feet swinging in the air.
The stranger spoke again, her words fired as fast as bullets through a machine gun. “I’m sorry, it’s really awkward if we just stay silent like that. I can’t really do that, the awkward silence thing. Are you enjoying the party?”
“Hm, yeah, I guess?” Rushia stuttered, flustered. “I just needed a little break from… everything.” She gestured vaguely below her as a couple of college students stumbled out on grass, belting out loud laughs.
“Ah yes, I see, I see. I feel the same. Sometimes you just gotta recharge your batteries before heading back, stronger than before. Kinda like, having a snack after sex before going again, right? It’s all about replenishing energy!” the girl with the dark red hair stated, natural and relaxed like she had just made a general comment about the weather.
What the…?
Unsure of whether this was a common topic of conversation, Rushia racked her brain for an appropriate answer. “In a way, I imagine? Although, you should be more concerned about staying hydrated rather than eating after intercourse.”
The girl tilted her head, an amused smile growing on her lips. She leaned her elbow against one knee, resting her chin on her fist as she looked intensely at Rushia who felt warmth invading her face.
“Oh really? Anything in particular you’d recommend?” Something in her voice made Rushia feel funny; she averted her eyes, fidgeting with the neck of her beer bottle.
“Well, water is fine. For hydration, I mean. Obviously… Green tea is good too.” Rushia cleared her throat, shifting in her seat. What is the alcohol, or was it really hot out there?
The girl hummed in acknowledgment. “Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind, for next time.”
Silent fell again between them, making Rushia restless. Noticing that the girl had empty hands, she raised her second bottle, offering it with a silent gesture which was accepted with a nod, and a widening smile. The girl shifted closer to Rushia to take the bottle, brushing their shoulders together; their fingers touched, sending sparks running along Rushia’s skin.
“I’m Houshou Marine, by the way. Nice to meet you.” she said while opening the bottle.
Oh.
“Oh.” Rushia couldn’t hold back the exclamation as realization dawned on her.
Marine brought the beer to her lips, taking a swing before wincing. “Ah so you’ve heard of me, fantastic.” The previous playfulness dancing in her eyes gave way to something else, a more somber expression clouding her face only highlighted by the smile turned bitter on her lips.
Rushia’s nervousness transformed into guilt. She rushed to correct herself. “Not that much actually. Or nothing I would actually believe straight of the bat!”
Instinctively, she reached out to place her hand on Marine’s arm. “I’m Uruha Rushia. And it is nice to meet you. It’s nice to have a conversation that doesn’t require yelling over loudspeakers.”
The smile on Marine’s lips softened in a mute thanks.
Curiosity nagged at Rushia’s guts as she studied Marine’s face, not caring if her staring was awkward or not. Her inebriated brain could only think that her face was very nice to look at, and therefore she ought to look at it more.
“So what are you hiding from, going up here?” she asked distractedly, looking at the way Marine’s lips wrapped about the neck bottle when she took a sip.
“Just dumb girl drama, you know how it is.” she sighed with a pitiful expression, shrugging casually. Rushia nodded in agreement, pretending she totally understood. “Anyway, I much prefer the company up here.” Marine added, cocking her head to look her in the eyes, flashing a sly smile.
Rushia’s breath hitched and a strange, flustered sound escaped her lips which she tried to disguise as a laugh. She could feel a sheepish smile stretching her lips, and the look of Marine’s face made her want not to fight it.
The shiver that passed through Rushia’s body didn’t go unnoticed, though thankfully, Marine misinterpreted it. She quickly shrugged off her coat, wrapping it around Rushia’s shoulders who was much too embarrassed to protest. Soon enough, the latter was enveloped in the warm fabric as Marine’s sweet perfume surrounded her senses. It was more intoxicating than the alcohol in her system.
Entranced by Marine’s eyes which look like they were shining in the dim light, head spinning from her racing heart, Rushia did something she rarely ever did and acted on her impulses. She leaned in, pressing her lips against Marine’s. Immediately, a hand found its way in her hair, grazing her neck ever so softly as Marine’s tongue swiped against Rushia’s lips, a teasing demand. Rushia complied, parting her lips, sighing when their tongue met.
As she let herself enjoy the myriad of sensation swirling through her nerves, Rushia understood what all the hype was about Houshou Marine. She really was as charming as the stories said.
They pulled away only to catch their breath before Marine tilted her head, capturing Rushia’s lips once more in a deep, heated kiss. Not that Rushia had that much experience with it, but she definitely could tell Marine knew what she was doing. Has kissing always felt this good?
Marine eventually pulled back, leaving a flustered Rushia to catch her breath who took the opportunity to gaze once more at the girl’s features, letting her eyes absorb every detail.
Then Rushia’s phone rang and almost gave the both of them a heart attack.
Marine jumped back like she had just touched an electric fence as Rushia fumbled to find the culprit in her pocket, knocking over her bottle in the process.
“Balls, shit, fuck me.” she cursed, struggling to get the loud, vibrating device out of her bag.
At her side, Marine belted out a loud laugh, shoulders shaking, before she clasped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.
Eventually, Rushia managed to get her phone out, swiping quickly on the screen to answer the call. Only when she placed it against her ear did she realize that Marine’s hand was still in her hair, gently scratching the skin at the base of her nape in a soothing motion.
“... Rushia, can you hear me?” Noel’s voice pierced through the phone and the fog in her brain.
“Eh, what?”
“I was asking if you were alright, and where you were.”
Rushia had to focus to catch Noel’s word, distracted by the touch on her neck sending shivers through her stomach. Noel appeared to be surrounded by people having loud conversations and Rushia could barely hear her friend over the music in the background. A familiar fragmented, high pitched laugh informed Rushia that Pekora was nearby.
“Yeah, I’m alright. I’m—” She shot a glance at a Marine who was watching her with an unchanging, teasing smile on her face. Rushia’s heart flipped in her chest. She cleared her throat before continuing. “I’m all good, I’m on the roof. Is everything alright with you?”
“Yes, yes. But Pekora and Flare are…” She paused, enough to let Rushia hear a concert of giggles and incoherent mumbles next to Noel. “... very drunk. I was about to get them home. Do you wanna come with us, or do you want to stay longer?”
The hand on her neck continued its ministrations, dragging nails gently across her skin, making it very hard for Rushia to concentrate. Nevertheless, she snapped her eyes away from Marine who was looking at her like a cat with a mouse, ignoring the tingling sensations growing in her stomach and travelling further south.
“Yup. Gotcha. Home. Sounds good. I’ll be down in a minute.” she answered in a saccated tone, stupidly worried that Noel could hear her heart hammering in her ribcage through the phone.
As she hung up, Marine’s hand pulled back and the latter stood up, stretching her arms with a moan and Rushia couldn’t help the wave of disappointment that flooded her brain at the loss of contact.
Unsure of what to say, she settled with. “I’m sorry.”
Unexpectedly, Marne laughed. “Why are you apologizing? It’s all good.”
“It’s just— My friends are drunk.” she explained although she didn’t know why.
Marine smiled, amused, humming in acknowledgment, looking at her with a twinkle in her eyes.
“And so I gotta… get them home…” she continued mumbling miserably as her brain begged her to just stop talking.
“Hmm hmmm.” Marine’s teasing smile remained on her lips, like she was enjoying watching Rushia squirming.
Rushia sighed, giving up on her pointless justifications, and on her life at the same occasion. Her eyes tracked Marine movement as the girl headed toward the exit, walking backwards to face Rushia when she said with a low tone that made Rushia’s core tighten.
“Thank you for the nice….” Rushia didn’t know her face could get any hotter, but it did. “... chat.” Marine finished, throwing her wink before disappearing behind the door.
Passing a hand through her hair, Rushia let out a grunt, using her other hand to adjust the coat on her shoulder. Without Marine at her side, she suddenly felt very cold.
Of fuck. The coat.
“Marine!” she called out, standing up with urgency.
Crimson hair and a pair of mismatched eyes popped back through the door frame. “Missing me already?” she asked with a grin and on cue, Rushia’s cheeks caught fire.
“You forgot your coat.”
Marine’s grin widened, and with this lighting and angle, she almost looked like she had fangs. “You can get it back to me later. My number is in the pocket.”.
And with that, Marine’s head disappeared again, and she was gone, leaving a flustered, confused Rushia standing awkwardly on the roof, the corpse of a spilled bottle on her feet, and no coherent thoughts in her head.
To her credit, Rushia did intend to return the coat, and only that, when she contacted Marine the next day. By the grace of any and all divinity out there, Noel had been too busy handling her drunken girlfriend enabled by a drunken Pekora to notice that Rushia was wearing a long, black coat that she definitely did not bring to the party. Soon enough, she had returned back to her place, her fingers burning at the contact of a paper bearing a set of numbers in the pocket, and her lips burning at the memory of a kiss.
When Rushia knocked on Marine’s door, she truly had the purest of intentions. The fleeting feelings of the night before had faded away along with her body purging the alcohol she had ingested, after a good night sleep definitely not filled with haunting eyes of different colors and a voice speaking softly her name like siren luring sailors to their doom.
So really, she could not explain, nor recall, how exactly she ended up pinned against the wall as Marine’s hand slipped under her shirt, unhooking her bra with one expert snap of fingers, or how Marine’s mouth ended up latched on her neck, sucking in the sensitive skin, lodging her leg between Rushia’s thigh, pressing against her core.
But now that she was there, being dragged towards the bed, she could hardly find the strength nor the will to protest.
Feeling a hunger she had rarely experienced before, Rushia made quick work of Marine’s sweatpants, unceremoniously throwing them aside as she laid down on the mattress, soon followed by Marine straddling her hips.
Her hands caressed Marine’s thighs as the latter pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her ample, braless chest which made Rushia water at the mouth. Wasting no time, she took one in her mouth, playing with the hardening nipple with her tongue, encouraged by Marine arching her back to pull herself closer. The sound Marine made as she ran her finger through Rushia’s hair, pulling her closer, grinding her crotch on the girl’s thigh made Rushia’s brain short-circuit. She wanted to hear it again. She bit down on the sensitive skin, effectively dragging another moan out of Marine’s lips.
With another tug on her hair, Rushia switched to the other boob, licking around the areola while her hands massaged Marine’s ass. Marie rested her forehead on Rushia’s shoulder, whispering breathily in her ear.
“I’m gonna need you to touch me real soon or I might explode.”
The sheer need in her voice excited something in Rushia who immediately complied, bringing her fingers to Marine’s entrance, playing with the folds slick with want. Marine’s breath hitched as she released a high pitched whimper — like heroin straight up injected into Rushia’s system. Invigorated by the girl's response to her touch, she slid a finger into Marine’s vagina, pumping it in and out a couple of times before adding another.
The hoarse, raspy whine Marine let out made Rushia’s head spin — she started thrusting with force as her mouth found Marine’s breast again.
“Oh god, keep going, yes! Faster!”
Complying to the demand, Rushia increased the pace, matching the rhythm of Marine’s hips rocking against her wrist. She marvelled at the way tension kept building up in Marine’s body, every muscle twitching in rapid contractions as her breath came out in uneven huffs lined with moans of pleasure.
Rushia moved her mouth up Marine's neck, grazing the column of her throat with her nose until her lips caught Marine’s earlobe, tugging on it with her teeth. Her thumb found Marine’s clitoris, tracing gentle circles on the sensitive bud as Marine continued riding her fingers. She felt Marine’s walls clenched impossibly tight around her as the girl came undone with a long, whiny sigh.
Marine’s breath slowed against her skin as her pleasure subsided. Marine straightened back up to face Rushia. Her hair stuck to her forehead, glistening with sweat and her pupils were almost black with desire.
The low, husky tone of Marine when she spoke next sent a bolt of electricity through Rushia’s brain and she was suddenly reminded of the burning desire growing between her own legs.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”
Marine’s fingers wrapped around her wrist, bringing up Rushia’s fingers slick with Marine’s pleasure. She leaned it, taking them in her mouth, and Rushia almost choked on air at the sight. The feeling of Marine’s hot tongue swirling around her fingers, tasting herself made Rushia’s head swim. When Marine pulled back, Rushia immediately chased after her lips, crashing their mouths together, eager to taste Marine for herself. Marine let out a sigh of satisfaction against her lips, bringing a hand to Rushia’s cheek as she deepened the kiss.
Pulling away, Rushia rested her forehead against Marine’s, catching her breath.
“Tell me what you want, Rushia.” Marine whispered. The sound alone of Rushia’s name on her lips, pronounced in that tone was enough to drive her insane.
Impossibly turned on, and desperate to find release, Rushia let go of her inhibitions, letting out a whiny breath as she answered. “I want your tongue. I— I want you to lick me”
Marine’s smile turned into a toothy smirk, a dark glint dancing in her eyes as she leaned in for a kiss. She moved off Rushia, crawling on the bed to lie down, beckoning Rushia over who let herself be guided to straddled Marine. With quick gestures, Marine took off her dress, her mouth immediately finding Rushia’s breast accompanied with a hand sliding up to tease her other nipple. The bud hardened instantly and Rushia arched her back, pushing herself further into Marine’s touch.
Fingers brushed against her skin on their way down, gently dragging nails across her ribs in a way that made the breath hitch in her lungs. Leaning on Marine’s body for balance, she moved to help Marine take off her underwear, soaked with obvious desire. She felt the wetness pooled at her entrance as Marine began to kiss the skin between her breasts.
Then, Marine leaned back, settling her head comfortably on the cushion as she pulled Rushia towards her. Taking the hint, Rushia adjusted her weight, knees on each side of Marine’s head and lowered herself on Marine’s mouth.
The sound that escaped her lips when she felt Marine’s tongue on her sex surprised her. She couldn't recall ever making such an obscene noise before. A bolt of pleasure rushed through her spine and she slammed a hand against the headboard for support. Marine used the flat of her tongue to give one long lick on her slit before turning her attention to Rushia’s clitoris with expert quick laps.
As Rushia’s thighs began to tremble, she felt Marine’s hand finding her free hand, interlocking their fingers together. Pushing against Marine’s arm, Rushia rocked her hips at the rhythm of Marine’s mouth, lowering herself harder against the girl’s face with breathy moans.
“Oh god, yes, just like that. Keep going!” she whined, closing her eyes to fully enjoy the sensations.
When Marine’s tongue dipped inside her before pulling back, teasing her entrance, she leaned her forehead against the wall, the noises leaving her mouth a mere symphony of grunts and moans. She felt her orgasm build up, coaxed by the increasing pace of Marine’s mouth, working her up slowly but steadily. She squeezed Marine’s hand, hard, and the latter responded in kind.
Her vocabulary was reduced to curses and Marine’s name, her lungs panting uneven huffs of sharp, hot breath. She felt her walls twitch and clench when Marine quickened the pace on her clit, her legs trembling as shivers of pleasure ran through her.
Marine’s other hand wrapped around her thighs, her thumb finding her clitoris and she shifted her tongue to lick her folds, gathering the wetness dripping out of Rushia. With a high pitch whine, Rushia arched her back, rocking her hips against Marine’s mouth and her grip on Marine’s fingers tightened even more. Her release came through her with a final dip of Marine’s tongue inside her and a finger circling her clitoris. She threw her head back, letting out a strangled sigh as ecstasy washed through her nerves, leaving her breathless, her body shook with spams.
Rushia leaned her forehead against the wall once more, catching her breath as Marine’s mouth slowed its pace, cleaning up the slick evidence of her pleasure with diligence.
When she regained control of her limbs and lungs, Rushia fell back down limp on the mattress, the whole of her body turned to mush. Marine lied down beside her, catching her breath, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
A finger slid from the bottom of her naked back all the way up to her neck, leaving a trail of shivers on Rushia’s skin. She could get used to the feeling, she thought absentmindedly. The mattress dipped as Marine moved, leaning over her until Rushia felt her hot breath against her ear.
“So, do you want some green tea?” Marine purred into her ear, making her stomach do somersaults as a burst of untamed giggle escaped her lips.
Surprisingly enough, it had not been that complicated to fit her encounters with Marine — which had gradually become more and more regular — in her busy schedule. The time she had previously taken to relax in her apartment, watching movies or playing games had been replaced with intense “workout sessions” as was written in her calendar, if anyone ever peaked at it.
Before she knew it, weeks had passed by since she had taken the habit of sleeping with Marine to decompress after long days of studying or long nights at her internship at the hospital morgue, and none of her close friends knew about it. It’s not that she was ashamed, but she had never been very talkative about her private life anyway, and the subject had never come up. Also, she knew she would be relentlessly teased by Pekora, and she wanted to avoid this kind of trouble. Keeping things separate, that was the plan: Marine was a parenthesis during her week, a footnote at the page of her life.
That was without taking in account that — and for the life of hers, Rushia would struggle to explain why if you’d ask her — there was something just incredibly endearing about Houshou Marine, and Rushia found herself enjoying her time with her beyond their sexual activities. Maybe it was something about the sheer liveliness she exuded whenever she entered a room, or the way she would always find something to smile and laugh about, something about how she’d never let a dull moment pass without rambling endlessly to fill the silence, never letting Rushia the chance to feel nervous or awkward around her.
Rushia found herself increasingly longing for her company: her obnoxious laugh and constant inappropriate remarks at the worst times had somehow grown on her and she’d become dangerously drawn to the girl. She had stared into the abyss, and the abyss had stared back, making her face the fact that she had a big, fat crush on Houshou Marine, and it was most likely not going to end well.
This was Rushia’s exact train of thought as she stared at the single kissy face emoji Marine had sent her. It’d made her blush and giggle like an idiot before she caught herself, and started to question her entire life.
Her existential crisis was interrupted by a text from Pekora, reminding her of their morning coffee meeting before class. Pushing aside all thoughts of Houshou Marine, she grabbed her coat and bag and rushed out to meet her friends.
Pekora, Noel and Flare were already seated when she entered the coffee shop. She was met with polite greetings from the couple, while Pekora offered her a “You’re late, so coffee round’s on you! And I’ll take a cupcake too, pretty please!”
Gracefully accepting her fate, Rushia headed towards the counter to order for everyone, even Pekora’s cupcake.
As Rushia took a step back, balancing four drinks and a cupcake on a tray, a body bumped into her back. She jumped aprubtly, startled. The drinks wobbled dangerously. As if the world turned to slow motion, she saw one cup tilt to its side. However, she did not have the time to panic nor react, because one hand was on her shoulder, maintaining her balance as another moved swiftly to catch the falling goblet.
Rushia spun around to face a pair of mismatched eyes framed by dark red hair, barely inches from her, offering her the drink with a smug smirk.
“Careful there, you almost dropped something hot. But of course, I’m always there if you need something hot.” Marine purred, leaning in subtly.
Rushia’s fingers brushed Marine’s when she took back the cup, lingering for a second longer than necessary as she maintained eye contact, refusing to lose ground despite her treacherous heart racing in her chest. She fought the grin threatening to stretch her lips - she was pretty sure she was doing a terrible job at it.
“Careful about throwing yourself flowers like that, you might step on a thorn.” she fired back with no bite to her tone.
Marine’s grin widened and she stepped back, offering Rushia a slight mockerish bow before turning around to head out, her signature long black coat floating behind her like a cape in the wind. Rushia struggled to bite down her own smile as she quickly made her way back to her friends, hoping that no one would notice nor mention the fact that her cheeks were redder than Marine’s hair.
It only took but two seconds after Rushia had sat down before Pekora exploded.
“I can’t fucking believe this, you’re sleeping with her!”
The sip Rushia had just taken got stuck in her throat, sending her into a violent fit of coughs.Noel slapped Pekora’s arm, shushing her loudly. The latter pushed Noel’s hand away roughly, pointing an accusing finger at Rushia.
“What the actual hell are you doing?” she inquired, fire in her eyes.
“Well, Marine, evidently.”
This time, it was Flare’s turn to get an admonishing slap from Noel.
Averting her eyes as an explosion of shades of pink tinted her cheeks, Rushia mumbled, almost apologetic. “I thought you wanted me to start relaxing and not study all the time. Well, there you go. I’m relaxing”
Pekora grabbed a piece of her cupcake, throwing it at Rushia with a sharp move as the latter dodged her head to avoid the food-bullet. “Not like this ! I thought you could take up jogging, or a hobby like jigsaw puzzles or crochet or whatever; not shagging Houshou fucking Marine!”
“We’re just sleeping together and that’s it. It’s not the end of the world.” Rushia fired back, defensive.
“ ‘Just sleeping together?’ Have you not heard of the hoard of heartbroken girls she left in her wake? Are you trying to get hurt?” Pekora continued, ruthless.
The words hurt more than Rushia cared to admit, even more so that she couldn’t deny them. After all, she really was just like any of those other girls. It’s not like Marine had promised her anything more than what she had given Rushia; it was on her that she caught feelings.
Noel’s protest, desperately trying and failing to get Pekora to lower her voice was drowned by the girl’s indignant scoff as she continued, not hiding the poison in her tone. “Flare, do something!”
The air suddenly turned ice cold, tensed like an elastic about to snap. As Flare’s gaze dropped to the floor, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat while Pekora froze in place, realizing what she had just said. Noel clenched her jaw, calling out to Pekora with a clipped tone.
“Enough. Rushia is a big girl, she can handle herself and make her own decisions.” She stood up, grabbing Pekora by the sleeve with a sharp tug, leaving no room for discussion. “We’re gonna be late, come on. Thank you for the coffee, Rushia.”
With a goodbye wave towards Rushia and a peck on Flare’s lips, Noel headed out, Pekora on her tail. The latter turned to Rushia, offering an apologetic look and a small “Sorry, Rushia.”
Confused by the scene that had just unfolded, Rushia turned to Flare with a furrowed brow.
“What the hell was that?” she asked, pointing to the door where Noel and Pekora had just left.
Flare grimaced, a pained smile on her lips. “Don’t mind Pekora, her words are sharper than her thoughts. You know her, she’s quicker to speak than to think, sometimes.”
Rushia nodded in acknowledgement, knowing how her best friend could be. She wouldn’t hold it against her — she never did. However, her gaze remained fixed on Flare who was avoiding her gaze on purpose; Rushia could tell from the way her friend’s eyes kept darting all over the room, not once landing on her.
“What did she mean, though?”
Flare cleared her throat, shifting in her seat as a light shade of pink bloomed on her tanned skin. She brought a hand to her nape, scratching the back of her neck. Rushia knew her enough to know there was something Flare was not telling her.
“Humm, well... “
The gears in Rushia’s brain worked at full speed, trying to piece together what had just happened. Why would Flare do anything about her and Marine? Her and Pekora had only met Noel and Flare a few months ago at the beginning of the year, and while they were close, they certainly did not have the bond that she and Pekora had, being childhood friends. So why would Pekora ask Flare to do something, instead of doing it herself? What did Flare have to do with—
Oh.
Like a comic lightning bulb popping above her head, realisation dawned on Rushia as she put two and two together.
“Oh… you and Marine?” she asked softly, almost afraid to get an answer.
Flare grimaced before finally meeting her eyes.
“Yeah…”
Rushia nodded a bit too energetically, processing the information.
“But it wasn’t anything serious. And it was before I got together with Noel. It was just... You know, harmless fun.”
She gestured vaguely towards Rushia as if to say ‘ you know how it is with her.’
“Pekora was just being overdramatic. It doesn't have to be weird or awkward, if we don’t let it.” She offered Rushia a small smile who returned it, feeling a relief she had not expected to come.
Still, something felt off, and Rushia felt her skin prickle as the question left her lips, almost feeling like a confession.
“Was it though?” Flare raised her eyebrow in a silent question. Rushia swallowed hard before adding. “Harmless?”
A glint of compassion flashed through Flare’s eyes when she understood the meaning behind the question. She stood to sit next to Rushia who dropped her eyes to the floor, blinking back tears. Flare put a comforting hand over Rushia’s.
“It was… until it wasn’t. I ended it as soon as I caught myself developing a crush. I didn’t want to risk it.” she answered with a laugh. “I did tell Pekora at the time, which is why she doesn’t hold Marine in high regards, even though nothing was her fault.”
A moment passed before Flare continued. “Are you…? “ Flare paused, trying to find the appropriate words. “Are you developing a crush?”
“I’m— I’m not sure” Rushia lied effortlessly. “I’m just very stressed with my classes right now, so I do… spend a lot of time with her. But it’s gonna pass.” she explained, pulling out the perfectly honed justification that she kept telling herself, hoping that one day it would actually become true.
Flare hummed, unconvinced. She wrapped an arm around Rushia, pulling her in a soft hug and dropping a kiss on her forehead before whispering.
“Just… be careful. She’s easy to fall for, but the landing is harsh.”
Rushia’s palm crashed against her desk in a loud thump , making everything on it tremble at the shock. The gobelet containing her pens tilted, spilling its content on the desk as pencils and pens rolled everywhere.
With a sharp, violent move, she slammed her laptop shut, muffling a silent shout of anger. Swallowing back her murderous rage, she got up, snatching her coat from the hanger and bolted out of the door, eager to walk off the energy pent up inside of her. She wanted to punch something. No, she wanted to punch someone . She wanted to scream. She wanted anything that would let her have an outlet for the anger burning inside of her.
Fuck group project, and fuck that particular classmate who did jack shit the whole semester, leaving her to do all the work by herself, only to come at the last minute to critisize everything. Had he been next to her at that moment, she would have made him eat the paper until he choked.
Popping her headphones on, she put her hard metal playlist on, the screaming and heavy guitars in her ears soothing her boiling rage. She walked around campus aimlessly, only to do something with her body, not caring if anyone saw her in her pajamas and coat, bobbing her head to the music in the middle of the evening.
Eventually, her brain caught up with her legs and she realized she was taking a very familiar path - the one leading to Marine’s apartment. It only took her two seconds of consideration before going through with it, quickening her pace to reach the building.
She climbed the stairs four by four until she faced Marine’s front door and realized several things at once: she didn’t warn Marine she was coming by and she didn’t even know if Marine was home or out partying, at work or… with someone else. The thought felt like a punch in her guts. She froze in place.
What the hell was she doing?
She numbly stood in front of the door, pondering her options. One the one hand, the prospect of getting rejected, even by sheer circumstance, was killing her, and she didn’t want to text Marine saying she was at her front door if the girl wasn’t even there. Maybe she was pathetic, but she didn’t want Marine to know that. Conversely, she knew there was no way she could go to sleep now without letting off some steam, and Marine was always down for a quick fuck when she was availiable.
Abandoning the remaining shards of her already fragile pride, she shut off her brain and knocked on the door. As soon as her knuckles hit the wooden surface, a wave of regret flooded her. As she considered turning around and running away, the door flung open and the vision that greeted her felt like someone reached inside her ribcage to grab her heart and shook it violently.
Marine’s hair was down, unbrushed, wild strands perking up here and there. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt with a comic pirate saying “Ahoy!”, half tucked in a pair of large sweatpants. This was the cutest, most endearing Marine had ever looked. The girl tilted her head like a confused puppy, eyes half lidded and heavy with sleepiness, and it made Rushia want to crash her lips against hers until she couldn’t breathe.
“Eh? Rushia? Did we plan to see each other tonight? Did I forget?” she asked, her raspy voice indicating that she had probably been asleep only minutes before.
Immediately, the rage and restlessness Rushia was feeling was overpowered by guilt and embarrassment. She rushed an apology.
“No, no, not at all! Oh you were sleeping, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. I’m sorry! I’m— I’m just gonna go, sorry.”
Cheeks on fire, Rushia turned around on her heels, making a move to leave but Marine’s hand grabbed her sleeve, pinning her in place.
“Hey, wait a minute, it’s fine. I just needed a quick nap after work. But I’m awake now! See, the perfect picture of energy!” she said as she rubbed her eyes before making a ridiculous pose.
Rushia couldn’t contain the loving smile growing on her face. Nevertheless, she hesitated.
“Are you sure? I really didn’t mean to bother you.”
Marine’s hand tugged gently on her sleeve, beckoning her forward.
“Yeah I’m sure, I always have time for you, Rushia~ Come on in.”
A swarm of butterflies awoke in Rushia’s stomach, raging a violent war as she crossed the threshold. With a now familiar routine, Marine took her coat, dropping it on her desk chair before going to her room. She jumped on the bed as she stretched, yawning ungracefully. Rushia followed, leaning against the frame at the entrance of the bedroom, suddenly overwhelmed by shyness despite the number of times she had been in this room, and their circumstances.
“What’s up with you? You rarely come by without extensive planning beforehand. I know I’m irresistible, but still, it’s unlike you.” Marine teased with her usual smug grin that Rushia both hated and loved so much.
“I just had a bad evening and went for a walk to calm down.” Rushia explained with a strained tone, the mere thought of her classmate awakening again the dormant rage at the pit of her stomach.
Her hand twitched; she felt like hitting something again. Marine caught the movement, furrowing her eyebrows before looking back at Rushia with a concerned look.
“Are you okay? You don’t seem like you’ve calmed down.” She gave Rushia a pointed look which one served to irritate Rushia even more.
Clicking her tongue, she stepped forward, heading straight to Marine, straddling her as she pushed the girl against the mattress, catching Marine off guard. She answered, her voice dry and sharp.
“Yeah, I’m great. Perfect. Never better. Now, are you in the mood or not?”
Reflexively, Marine’s hands found Rushia’s hips as she sat up, adjusting Rushia’s weight on her legs to face the girl. The caring look on her face only drove Rushia even more furious. Marine didn’t get to look at her like that. Rushia couldn’t handle it.
“I mean, I’m always in the mood but—”
The rest of her sentence was silenced by Rushia’s crashing her lips against hers in a demanding kiss. Marine immediately complied, parting her mouth to let Rushia’s tongue in as her grip on the girl’s hips tightened. When the kiss broke, Rushia spared no time moving to Marine’s neck, sucking on the spot below her ear she knew had a particular effect on the girl. On cue, a hiss of satisfaction escaped Marine’s lips, making Rushia smirk against her skin.
“Rushia...” Marine breathed out in a careful tone.
The aforementioned ignored her, sliding her hands under Marine’s shirt to cup her chest, leaving open kisses on her neck.
“Rushia.” Marine reiterated, more forceful this time, but got ignored again.
When Rushia’s finger brushed against her nipples, making her breath hitch, Marine moved and wrapped her arms around Rushia, picking her up with a surprising strength. She flipped their position over, dropping down a startled Rushia who looked up at her with indignation. However, the latter’s cry of protest died in her throat when she saw Marine’s face, a genuine concern painted all over her features. Marine placed her hand on each side of Rushia’s face, hovering over her.
“Hold on and hear me out just for one minute, and after I’ll let you do whatever the hell you want with me, I promise. Okay?”
A confusing mix of desire and emotion crashed through Rushia; not trusting her voice, she only nodded, unable to look away from Marine’s intense eyes.
“It’s just— you’re acting very unlike yourself. It’s kinda worrying me… You know, if you need to talk and vent, you can talk to me. You don’t have to keep it all inside.”
Intense feeling gripped at Rushia’s throat, caused by the softness in Marine’s voice. Then, a sly smile stretched the latter’s lips when she added.
“I don’t only have a sexy body, agile fingers and a skilled tongue, my ears work perfectly too.”
Overwhelmed, Rushia could only puff an incredulous laugh as an uncontrollable burst of giggles escaped her lungs… it turned to half sobs as exhaustion crashed through her like a wave. Why did Marine always have to be such a ridiculous person? And why did Rushia have to like it so much?
Reassured at Rushia’s reaction, Marine laughed back before getting off of Rushia, moving to sit on her bed, back leaning against the wall. She patted the spot next to her, looking at Rushia with expectant eyes.
“Come on. Come rant to good ol’ Marine.”
Wiping tears at the corner of her eyes from her burst of emotions, Rushia crawled on the bed to settle beside her. Not knowing what to do with her hands, she opted to cross them in front of her. Marine propped her elbow against the wall, placing her head against her palm, looking at Rushia with a patient smile, eyes comically wide to indicate she was all ears.
Rushia sighed and rolled her eyes at her antics — the butterflies made their presence known again.
“It’s ridiculous really, I know I’m overreacting.” she started. Marine merely hummed, waiting for the rest. “We had a group project for class and I was paired with a guy who didn’t do anything for like, five months. The grade is worth a lot so I can’t afford to half-ass it. So I’ve been working my ass off all this time, while handling my other classes and the TA’s position and the internship at the morgue, and now, two weeks before the project, he comes in, smiles and flowers to talk to me, saying he doesn’t agree with what I did, and basically wants to change the entire outline. So at first I tried to be open minded, asking him about what he thought wasn’t right, but he basically had no argument whatsoever, just ‘I don’t like it’ . Like, dude, at least pretend to argue your points! No wonder you didn’t do shit on the project if you can’t articulate what you think!”
As the flow of words streamed out of her mouth, Rushia felt herself getting more and more worked up, waving her hands around for emphasis as her voice got louder and stronger.
“And then, he has the gall to tell me ‘Oh but Rushia, you always have good grades, we’ll be fine, stop worrying so much.’ Fuck you! How the fuck do you think I get good grades? Do you think my papers just appear out of thin air, out of the manifestation of the Holy Spirit? I’m so tired of people saying I shouldn’t worry about my grades like I’m not working my ass off everyday. Maybe he got into medical school because mommy and daddy have deep pockets, but I didn’t and I need to stay at the top of my game to ensure my future! And now this fucking asshole dares to tell me it’s doesn’t matter that much? Are you FUCKING kidding me? Arghhh!”
Words failing her, Rushia let out an ungodly, ear-splitting shriek of rage as she punched the mattress at her side. Breathing heavily, Rushia found herself feeling much more relieved than she thought she’d be. She turned to Marine with a weary expression, afraid to have bored or shocked the girl. However, Marine kept looking at her with an even expression, smile unwavering on her lips.
“Feeling better?” Marine inquired.
Rushia let out a long sigh before nodding. “Actually, much better, yes. Thank you.”
Marine smiled widened. “Anytime. I’m here for you, whenever”
Rushia scoffed half-heartedly. ‘Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.’
“So, what else do you usually do to wind down when you’re angry, not involving my world acclaimed talents in bed?”
With a roll of her eyes, Rushia playfully slapped Marine’s arm but her heart wasn’t in it, the grin on her lips making it obvious.
“Usually I watch movies to get my mind off it.”
Immediately, Marine shot up the bed, walking to her desk to grab her laptop before returning to the bedroom, dropping the device on the mattress and booting it up before Rushia’s sheepish eyes.
“Alright, matey! You pick the movie, I’ll get us some drinks.” Marine announced with a ridiculous voice, heading towards her fridge.
Rushia blinked twice, frozen in place. What the hell was happening?
“Really?” she pressed, ill at ease.
Opening the fridge, Marine started searching, moving packs around as she answered distractedly. “Yeah, pick whatever you heart desires. In the meantime I can offer you… apple juice? I have apple juice?”
She picked up the juice, bringing it to her nose for a sniff before letting out a disgusted cry with a grimace. “Ugh, nope, no apple juice.” She threw the brick in the trash and resumed her activities. “Coke it is then.”
Soon enough, the both of them were settled under the covers, a can of soda in hand as Rushia launched the movie with excitement. Then, she completely froze when she felt Marine’s head leaning on her shoulder, nestling her side. She barely paid attention to the first few minutes of the film, too busy calming down her racing heart and mechanically sipping on her drink, giving the outward appearance of serenity.
Eventually, she got used to the feeling of Marine’s body cuddling her — a little too comfortable even — and let herself get engrossed by the story unfolding before her. She had picked a bad zombie movie, her guilty pleasure. She always had endless fun watching terrible actors pretending to be scared by ridiculous zombies, coming up with idiotic, senseless plans, everything spiced up with awful special effects and sound design.
As a particularly gruesome scene happened on screen, Rushia was about to laugh and comment on the terrible job they did on the blood splatter when she felt Marine curled up against her, muffling a strangled cry. Her attention immediately snapped to the girl at her side.
“Marine, are you okay? Do you want to watch something else?” she asked, the worry in her voice evident.
“No, no, no. Tonight is your movie, don’t worry about me.”
On the laptop, a zombie suddenly popped on screen, jump scaring the protagonist and Marine at the same time, the latter letting out another scared whimper, pressing herself even closer to Rushia. Instinctively, Rushia wrapped an arm around Marine’s shoulder, pulling her in.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Marine obviously lied, but Rushia knew her enough that insisting was pointless, so she adjusted her position to accommodate Marine’s weight on her.
The movie went on, extremely entertaining to Rushia who felt the last remnants of her previous anger fade away. Distracted, she started running a hand through Marine’s her, calming the girl who tried her best to not appear as scared as she was. She felt Marine’s body relax as time went on, and at one point, the girl threw an arm round Rushia’s waist, nestling further into the crook of her neck. Rushia thought she had never been more content in her life.
She blinked back into consciousness when the credits rolled, realizing she had barely paid attention to the resolution of the movie. Not that she cared — the most fun part was the zombie attacks anyway. She moved, arching her back to stretch a little, careful to not bother Marine too much when she registered that Marine had barely made a sound throughout the whole second part of the film.
Turning her head, Rushia’s heart skipped a beat when she saw Marine asleep against her, mouth slightly parted as a bit of drool threatened to spill at the corner of her mouth, snoring ever so slightly against Rushia’s collarbone.
Rushia’s brain short-circuited at the myriad of emotions this vision lit in her. She felt a bit guilty, having come here to bother Marine while the girl had been so tired. She was the happiest she had been in a long time, having her crush curled up against her in a comfortable sleep. But mostly, she was totally lost at how to proceed next.
Should she wake her up? Should she just leave her like that and go home? Should she stay and spend the night? Stalling, she closed the laptop, carefully placing it on the floor beside the bed as she pondered her options.
Her heart almost stopped when Marine mumbled in her ear, tightening her hold over her waist, grazing her nose against the side of Rushia’s neck.
“Don’t leave, you’re warm.”
Well, Rushia scarcely had any arguments against that...
Watching Marine’s peaceful expression, her features relaxed as a slow breathing made her lungs rise up and down at a steady pace, Rushia brushed a lock of hair falling in front of her face, grazing the skin with the tip of her fingers. Unconsciously, Marine leaned into the touch, settling closer against Rushia’s side.
She should leave, she thought again. She should get up, leave a note and bail. She definitely should not stay here with a sleeping Marine clinging to her. She should just run and save herself.
Flare’s word echoed through her mind. ‘She’s easy to fall for, but the landing is harsh.’
Rushia closed her eyes, pressing a tender kiss on Marine’s forehead, and jumped with both feet.
Rushia awoke by the succession of a shrill alarm clock piercing her eardrums, the sound coming suspiciously from below her, quickly followed by a stream of curses. Blinking awake, her mind clouded by slumber and confusion, she took a moment to register that her surroundings were definitely not her room.
She turned to see Marine detaching herself from her side before the latter leaned completely over to the side until her head was peeking below the bed, hands on the floor.
“Where the fuck did I—” Marine muttered, patting blindly under the bed . “Ah!... Nope, wrong vibrating thing.”
After a few more seconds of fumbling around, Marine let out a victorious exclamation. She sat up, holding the ringing phone in her hand before shutting the alarm off with a relieved sigh.
“Why on earth is your phone under your bed?” Rushia eventually asked, her voice still heavy with sleep. She rubbed her eyes, muffling a yawn.
“Because I still like to have it on hand before going to bed, but also it forces me to go get it in the morning. Perfect plan! I’m so smart.”
If handling Marine’s speech speed during the day was already a struggle, keeping up with it first thing in the morning was another thing altogether, and Rushia was left staring at Marine with a blank expression.
Unfazed, Marine stretched loudly before throwing the blanket to the side and hopping off the bed with an energy Rushia had never seen in a person who was asleep just a minute before. She tracked Marine’s movements around the small apartment as the girl strode over to the kitchen, flinging open the shelves.
“So I don’t have tea anymore, but I can offer you coffee.” Marine called out while standing on the tip of her toes to see the content of her shelves.
Rushia cleared her throat, heart vibrating in her chest at the sheer domesticity of the scene. “Coffee’s fine, thank you.”
She stood up, pulling at the sheets to straighten them out. Out of habit, her eyes scan the room in search of her clothes before she remembered that they hadn’t slept together the previous night, and she had come here in her pajamas. She mentally facepalmed, judging her past self.
Her eyes landed on Marine’s desk, covered with papers filled with various drawings and doodles. A sketchbook was opened, its pages covered with hand studies and different kinds of backgrounds. On the wall, various other drawings, some in crayons, other printed out digital paintings were pinned — all with the same style. Marine’s style, Rushia realized. Before realizing what she was doing, she reached for a page lying over a graphic tablet, looking at what looked like a storyboard, half of the panels partially sketched. She had never known Marine was this talented.
When Marine’s voice rang again, it was much more closer that Rushia had expected. “Hey, I just had a grand idea, how about we got out for breakfast?”
Startled, Rushia dropped the paper in her hands and turned to face Marine, standing next to her, watching her with unreadable eyes. A blush crept on her cheek, embarrassed to have been caught red handed snooping around Marine’s private things. Torn between apologizing or glossing over the moment, Rushia decided to follow Marine’s lead and not mention anything.
“Yup, sounds good. I’m in.”
Marine’s face lit up before she paused and winced, knotting her eyebrows in a pleading expression. “Fantastic. Now, follow up question, can it be your treat for this time? Pretty please?”
Rushia raised an eyebrow, giving Marine a pointed look. “Are you asking me to invite you to breakfast?”
“... Yes?” Was Marine’s sheepish answer. She rushed to vomit a flow of explanation. “Okay look, the thing is, I’m kinda broke at the moment. You see, my tablet stopped working a week ago, and I, stupidly, immediately bought another one, albeit a much more expensive one, without checking my balance and I also kinda forgot when rent was due. It was on impulse, really. No, that’s a lie, I was drunk actually—”
“Okay.”
Unbothered by the interruption, Marine continued. “— anywho, the next day, which was twelve hours later, the order had already been approved and shipped and the tablet arrived the same evening, and it's a really good tablet so I really didn’t want to send it back. So I was like ‘No problem, I’ll just survive on whatever I have left in my shelves’ , which turned out to be: not a lot—”
“Marine, it’s okay.”
“— so long story short, I kinda have been surviving on instant noodles for the past few days while working extra shifts, and I’m not really sure what it feels like to be human anymore. I really could use some food that has not been marinating in chicken broth from the microwave. I’m really sorry to be such a pain but also… please, feed me? I’ll repay you when I get my check. Or in some other ways, if you prefer~”
Rushia reached up, cupping Marine’s face with her hand to force the girl to shut up and look at her.
“Marine. I said okay, don’t worry about it.”
Marine finally paused to catch her breath, looking at Rushia with the most miserable puppy face she had ever seen.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Whatever you want. On one condition, though.”
Marine raised her eyebrows, expectantly.
“Can I borrow some clothes?”
“Are you sure you want to be seen having a coffee with me?” Marine asked, her tone lined with mockery as she bumped playfully into Rushia’s side.
Rushia simply scoffed in response, grabbing Marine by the sleeve of her trusty long coat, leading them towards the counter. However, her heart twinged in her chest, because she knew that deep down, Marine was serious - that some people genuinely avoided public association with her because of her reputation.
As they faced the barista, Marine looked pensively over the menu. Rushia let go of her sleeve, dropping her hands at her side and accidentally brushing against Marine’s hand. Like a conditioned reflex, her heart immediately jumped in her throat. God she was so fucking pathetic…
“Aaaah so much choice, I don’t know what I want! What should I order, Rushia?” Marine whined, leaning an elbow on Rushia’s shoulder as the girl was the perfect height for it. A blush exploded on Rushia’s face, both from irritation and embarrassment at the unexpected contact. If Marine didn’t stop being so tactile with her like that, Rushia would not answer for her actions.
“I told you, get whatever the hell you want.” she snapped, immediately regretting the harsh tone.
Unfazed, Marine continued her usual antics, sighing dramatically as she leaned further on Rushia. “Rushia~ you’re taking such good care of me!”
An amused smile stretched the lips of the barista in front of them, obviously trying to not look like she was eavesdropping despite the fact that they were quite literally in front of her. Embarrassment crashed through Rushia, her face burning up as she tried to communicate telepathically that this was not what it looked like. But then again, Rushia wished it was…
“Don’t say that like you weren’t the one who begged me to buy you food literally thirty minutes ago.” she barked back, turning her gaze to avoid the barista’s teasing stare. She had never wished more in her life that a comet would tear through the sky and crush her like an ant.
“Rushiaaa~” Marine whined again and the aforementioned loathed how hearing her name on Marine’s tongue, in whatever intonations, never failed to make a swarm of butterflies take flight in her stomach. “You’re so mean to me. What did I ever do to deserve that? All I ever did to you was—”
“THE STRAWBERRY CAKE AND TWO LATTES PLEASE” Rushia interrupted with urgency, desperate to not hear whatever the end of Marine’s sentence was.
Both Marine and the barista erupted in a burst of giggles, and Rushia wished she was dead. She longed for a comfortable coffin, buried six feet underground with no other company than the critters of the earth and her bones, for anything would be better than having to face the situation she was in.
She locked eyes with the barista as the latter forked over the order and her change, she mentally tried to communicate with her, although Rushia wasn’t sure what she was trying to convey. ‘ I’m sorry, she’s not always like that?’ She was always like that. ‘It’s not what you think?’ It really kind of was. Or maybe, just ‘ I’m sorry she’s like that and I'm sorry I like her so much .’
Absentmindedly, holding their order in one hand, she grabbed Marine’s by the other and dragged her away from the counter as fast as she could, and vowed to never set foot in this café ever again. She picked an isolated booth by the window, dropping in front of Marine, placing the cake in front of her.
As Rushia was pulling back her hand, Marine reached out, grazing her fingers, making Rushia freeze in place.
“Thank you for this.” she said in a voice so impossibly soft.
Rushia fought back against the urge to grab her by neck and kiss her right then, right there. Instead, she mumbled a vague “You’re welcome”, turning her eyes to the window, hoping the crimson red plaguing her neck and cheeks wasn’t too visible.
She stirred her coffee in a rhythmic motion, tracing a lemniscate in the dark liquid, soothing to the point of being hypnotic. Her left leg was bouncing under the table and she hoped to god Marine couldn’t feel or hear it. Her entire brain power was focused on not staring at Marine for too long, averting her eyes everytime she felt she was looking too much. Too self conscious to know if her behaviour was strange or not.
It’s funny how sleeping with Marine had become a habit so natural she didn’t think twice about it anymore, yet looking the girl in the eyes required an incommensurable amount of preparation, planning and effort.
At Rushia’s surprise, Marine stayed uncharastically silent. That rarely happened as the girl usually had a thousand things to say — most of them not worth saying, not that it ever stopped her — Rushia couldn’t think of a time outside of bed, or anyother location they had sex in really, when Marine was not mindlessly running her mouth. And even then sometimes...
Rushia glanced up again and her heart fluttered at the sight. Marine was not looking at her, but scribbling down a paper towel with a pen, her brow furrowed in concentration. No, not scribbling. Doodling. The pen scratched the paper, wielded by deft fingers, no traces of hesitation at the strokes. Crimson hair was falling in front of her face, casting a shadow over her focused eyes, her chin was resting on her other hand, her lips slightly parted. She was a vision.
She had never seen such a look on the girl’s face, Rushia thought. It made her want to reach out, cup her cheek and ask her what she was thinking about. It made her want to talk to her, to crack the mask Marine had become so used to wearing. But she swallowed back the words.
Her eyes dropped to look at the drawing and her heart stopped. She tried to muffle the choked gasp that escaped her lungs, covering her mouth, forcing out a few fake coughs. As she tried to regain her composure, Marine tilted the paper, angling it towards her and slid it forward on the table.
“Here, for you.”
It was a drawing of Rushia. A full blown portrait, traced with very simple yet effective strokes, depicting her looking outside the window, the light hitting the side of her face as she bore a pensive, distant look.
After taking the time to study it, Rushia looked up to meet Marine’s eyes. The girl was wearing an expression Rushia had never seen on her before, it could almost have been unsettling if it didn’t make her heart beat so hard in her chest. Since when was Marine able to look so soft, so gentle, so tender ? Since when was it directed at Rushia?
Thoughts were rushing and crashing inside her mind, not one landing correctly. Eventually, she breathed out, finding herself choked up as she spoke out.
“It looks amazing.” Her fingers traced the lines, grazing the paper ever so slightly as if it would tear apart if she was too harsh with it.
“Of course, when you take a look at the model~” Marine fired back, throwing a wink, but her voice lacked the usual, overtly seductive intonations, as if she was just saying the words out of reflex rather than actually intending to be a heavy flirt. Instead, it just came out earnestly genuine, and it made Rushia want to scream because her brain was overloading.
Marine turned to look outside the window, letting Rushia drink her profile in, the way the light dripped on her dark red hair, untied and still slightly dishevelled, the way her unfocused eyes were looking in the distance.
The question eased out of her before she could hold it back.
“Is that what you want to do in life? Drawing?”
Caught of guard, Marine’s head snapped toward Rushia, eyebrow raised as she blinked in confusion.
“I mean—” She scoffed a humorless laugh. “It was a dream once, I guess. When I was fourteen, and I realized that pirate was not an actual job, and I thought that drawing four-panel manga in math class was a viable career plan.”
She smiled, bitter and pained, stabbing a piece of cake with her fork. “And then you grow up, and discover the existence of bills and college, and suddenly you’re working two jobs in between classes, you have no time and you haven’t picked up your graphic tablet in two months.”
As Marine dropped her gaze, clenching her jaw to hold back whatever emotions were assaulting her. Rushia instinctively reached out, grabbing her hand across the table, intertwining their fingers together.
“So, I guess I quit my dream, just like I quit my jobs!” she joked half-heartedly, but Rushia didn’t miss the mist clouding her eyes.
“Maybe there’s still a way?” Rushia offered tentatively, racking her brain to find anything that would comfort Marine.
“If I win the lottery. Or maybe if I find a wealthy spouse.” she mused, this time her voice ringing alive again as she snickered.
On the table, Marine’s fingers brushed against Rushia’s skin, gently caressing it in a relentless motion that made Rushia die internally.
Playing along, Rushia giggled. “You’d make a great trophy wife.” she agreed, revelling in the light appearing back in Marine’s eye. She could almost see Marine slip back into her regular persona, and she awaited it almost as much as she hated it.
“Hey Rushia, you’re a med student. Doctors make tons of money, right? I could be your trophy wife~”
Marine tugged playfully at her hand, throwing her a smug smirk that set Rushia’s cheeks aflame. ‘I’d give you anything if that meant you could just draw and never worry about anything ever again. I’d give you the world if I could’ , she thought. As a storm of emotion raged inside Rushia's head, she kept her expression neutral, forcing an impish smile on her lips.
“You wish! I’m already feeding you, don’t be greedy.”
Marine giggled before adopting a coy expression, putting her hands up in mock defense. “Aye, Aye! Sorry!”
Rushia’s phone vibrated against the table, making the both of them jump in their seats with a strange sense of déjà-vu. Glancing at the screen, Rushia let out a defeated sigh.
“It’s the boss from my internship, I’ll be right back.”
Marine gave her a nod and a wink before taking a huge bite of strawberry cake, smearing cream all over her mouth.
Heading outside, Rushia answered the phone. She tried her hardest to reconnect her brain cells, fogged by the sleepiness not yet eradicated by coffee, and fuzziness induced by the last few hours. It still felt like a fever dream.
Answering distractedly her boss’ inquiries , she turned around, eyes landing on Marine through the window… and her heart dropped at the bottom of her stomach.
A girl was leaning on the table, facing Marine, twirling her hair while Marine sat chin-in-hand, her usual smug smirk resting comfortably on her lips.
Forgetting she was on a call, she didn’t hold back a resigned scoff at the sight. This was real life, after all.
“... Rushia?” Her boss’ voice rang out, bringing her back to the present moment.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll come in early, no problem.” she snapped, barely waiting for a goodbye before hanging up.
The whiplash of a dreamy, perfect morning turned sour left bitter bile on her tongue. She felt herself reach a breaking point. She couldn’t go on like this, surviving on what few crumbs she could get from Marine without being honest about what she truly wanted from her. It wasn’t fair for either of them. But Rushia couldn’t also go back to only thinking of Marine as a mere sexual partner.
She watched the girl reach out to brush her hand against Marine’s arm as she laughed, throwing her head back. A burning jealousy she had no right to feel lit up in her stomach.
Shutting her off her feelings as best she could, steeling her resolve, she headed back in and grabbed her coat in a swift, sharp move. Keeping her voice neutral and even, she addressed Marine, ignoring the other girl.
“It was my boss, he wants me to come early today.” That wasn’t a lie per se, although her shift only started six hours from now, but Marine didn’t need to know that.
Marine’s face dropped, pouting exaggeratedly at Rushia. “Oh really? That’s a shame… Thank you for breakfast—”
“Yeah, no problem. See you later.” Rushia interrupted, not letting Marine an occasion to say anything else.
In the blink of an eye, she was out of the door, leaving a confused Marine to stare at her with her mouth agape.
Rushia stared at the words, the white letters dancing in front of her eyes like they were mocking her as her finger twitched over the ‘send’ button, hovering above it but never touching it.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I’d rather we stopped things here. I hope you understand.’
An easy cop out. The coward’s way out.
Here eyes drifted upwards, to the message sitting next to an icon depicting Marine’s smiling face. ‘Are you avoiding me? Did I do something?’
Tears stung Rushia’s eyes as she read those words for the fifteenth time. Yes, she had been avoiding Marine. Ghosting her, even. After the coffee shop episode, Rushia had come to the realization that she was in too deep, and she couldn’t handle it anymore. After going through the five stages of grief within the span of a few days, ignoring Marine’s texts or any other attempts at communication, she had come to the decision that she needed to end things. Her heart couldn’t take any more damage.
Avoiding the girl had proven more difficult than Rushia initially thought. She hadn’t realized that Marine had taken such an important place in her life until she’d decided to cut all ties. Suddenly her life felt very empty. She missed her like the stars missed the moon during the day.
Her routine, previously rythmed by her classes interrupted by splashes of Marine’s liveliness, from light teasing at the corner of a hallways to seductive, distractive texts sent in the middle of the day, making her blush furiously as she forgot to pay attention to her lecture, to the mere sound of Marine’s voice saying her name when she found a new way to annoy her. The girl’s hot touches and passionate kisses as Rushia squirmed beneath her — she just missed Marine so fucking much.
And that was the whole problem: it wasn’t just a simple crush anymore. Her treacherous heart had spun webs bearing Marine’s name all over her body, and now that she was trying to cut them, they tore at her soul like paper through a shredder.
She had jumped; now she was landing, bones crashing on the ground.
Swallowing back the waterworks about to spill from her eyes, she grabbed her phone with purpose.
Then, a gentle, comforting hand rubbed her back. She turned to meet Flare’s compassionate eyes, a silent encouragement.
“It feels like a breakup even though it’s not one. It’s stupid, isn’t it?” she said with a trembling voice, letting out a bitter laugh.
Flare did not laugh back. Serious as a grave, her friend retorted. “It’s not.” The hand pressed harder on her back. “You’re not stupid either.”
Unconvinced, Rushia scoffed, turning her attention back to the device in her hand. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her thumb on the ‘send’ button, then dropped her phone on the table like it had just burned her.
No going back now…
“How do you feel?” Flare asked with concern.
Rushia hesitated before telling the truth. “Like nothing has changed, honestly.”
Flare nodded, leaning it to kiss the top of her head before whispering. “That will change, don’t worry.”
Sighing like she was trying to exhale her soul through her lungs, Rushia sat up, rubbing her eyes vigorously. When she opened them again, something on her still lit phone screen made her freeze.
Three gray little dots, jumping up on down.
Both Rushia and Flare held their breath. The dots disappeared. They looked at each other. The dots reappeared. After an agonizing minute of this back and forth, four simple words popped up. Rushia’s heart dropped like an anchor at sea.
‘Okay, as you wish.’
She stared at the words that felt like a knife through her heart. Flare was the one who moved to turn off the phone, throwing it further away on the bed.
“What do you need?”
Rushia turned to her friend, filled with indescribable gratitude at her support. She let out a bitter huff. “I kinda want to get drunk I think.”
Flare flashed her a conspiratorial smile and pulled out her phone.
A mere half an hour later, Rushia’s living room was lively with laughter. Bottles of beer scattered on her coffee table, and a cacophony of playful insults as Noel, Flare, Pekora and herself were smashing buttons on controllers, their Smash Bros avatars on the TV screen mercilessly beating the shit out of each other.
“I will pound you into the ground if you try this again!” Pekora shouted as Flare’s avatar pushed Pekora’s off the map, prompting an untamed shriek of rage from Rushia’s best friend.
Noel tilted her head to the side, barely dodging Pekora’s arm, flying off in a furious swipe as the latter threw the controller on the couch while Rushia choked from laughter.
Snickering, Flare took a sip of her bottle before saying casually, as if she wasn’t throwing a canister of gasoline on a pyre. “How about a punishment round for the next game. Loser has to do what the winner says.”
Rushia’s eye widened in fear, Noel raised an eyebrow and Pekora squinted her eyes, giving a death glare to Flare who was smiling innocently.
However, before the death match could begin, a knock on the door made everyone stop talking or moving altogether. As one, everyone turned to Rushia with a quizzical look. She mirrored the expression herself. Shrugging as to indicate she didn’t know what was happening either, she headed to the door.
Her senses numbed by beer and the energy of the evening, she flung the door open in a big swiping move and… immediately froze when she saw who was behind it.
For a split second, she considered closing it.
“Are you thinking of shutting the door on my face?” Marine asked, raising an eyebrow sarcastically, tone clipped.
“... No?” Was the unconvincing answer Rushia managed out.
“Look, if you want me to go, I’ll leave. I just wanted to talk.”
Marine’s pleading tone in addition to the fact that Rushia was finally looking at her face for the first in a couple of weeks, she found herself unable and unwilling to refuse. She glanced behind her shoulder to meet three pairs of prying eyes, all staring with mixed expressions. She closed the door behind her with a sigh, leaning on the wall in front of Marine, eyeing the girl up and down without meaning to.
Shifting awkwardly on her feet, Rushia waited for Marine to start the conversation. When she noticed the somber look Marine bore, so estranged from her usual expression, her heart tightened in her chest.
Marine took a deep breath, opening her mouth before closing it again, evidently searching for her words. Eventually, she spoke up in a voice so low Rushia barely caught it.
“Did I do something wrong?”
Rushia’s breath hitched, the question feeling like a punch to the guts.
“Oh Marine… No, no you didn’t do anything, I swear. It’s just— I—” She stammered, struggling to find the right thing to say.
Marine raised an inquisitive eyebrow, pressing with a dry voice. “ ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Really, Rushia?”
Rushia had never heard Marine say her name like that, and it hurted more than she could have imagined. She deserved it though. Marine passed a hand through her hair with a sigh.
“Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s totally fine that you want to stop. And I know you don’t owe me any explanation. I know that. But I’m asking for one anyway. Respectfully.”
Rushia felt like the floor was about to give under the weight of her guilt; she cast her eyes down, unable to sustain Marine’s gaze any longer.
“Marine…”
“Just give it to me straight, alright. I’m a big girl, I can handle it. I just… I just need to know.”
Looking back up, Rushia locked eyes with her, gathering her courage. She had nothing left to lose anyway.
“I don’t want to be your fuck buddy.” she deadpanned.
Marine’s jaw clenched as she pursed her lips, nodding in acknowledgment and averting her eyes. She opened her mouth but Rushia cut her off.
“I don’t want to be just your fuck buddy.”
Marine’s head snapped back, eyes wide. Accepting that she was done for, Rushia went on.
“The really cliché thing is: I really like you, Marine. I like how you make me laugh. I like how you’re always so positive even during bad times. I like how you laugh like a maniac escaping from an asylum, and how you talk so fast, like you’re paid by how many words you can get out in a minute. I like that you’re always so considerate even without appearing to be, I like that I can tell you anything without feeling awkward or judged.”
She paused, catching her breath, blinking back the tears stinging her eyes. Her throat tightened up as she continued.
“So, I'm not satisfied being just one of the girls you’re sleeping with, and I know it would be unfair of me to expect anything more from you. You said it at the start, so that’s on me. But, I am sorry I’ve been kind of a coward about it. An asshole, really. You didn’t deserve it.”
Her rant finished, she breathed in deeply, relieved to have gotten this weight off her chest. Marine’s face exploded with a storm of emotions Rushia struggled to identify. Eventually, she settled for looking at Rushia with eyes as soft as the night they had their sleepover.
“Rushia...” This time, the tenderness was back in her tone and it made Rushia shiver. Marine leaned it, placing a hand against the wall next to Rushia’s head. “When I told you that you can always talk to me, I meant it.”
Rushia lost her trains of thought when her eyes darted to Marine’s lips. Forcing her eyes up, she stuttered, honesty pouring out of her like her heart.
“Honestly, I would have rather died and ended up in my morgue than to admit I had feelings for you. No offense.”
“Offense slightly taken! I know I don’t have the best record here-” Rushia let out a sarcastic scoff as Marine winced in conceding her point. “Okay fine, I have the worst record. But…”
Marine paused with a frown, before continuing, her voice but a whisper. “Since we’re being honest here, I really missed you too. And I’m not just talking about the sex.”
A strangled, surprised cry was the only sound Rushia managed in response to Marine’s words. She was suddenly very aware of her breathing, of her heart banging inside her chest like an animal thrashing to get out of its cage, and her skin that felt like it was on fire.
“I haven’t been seeing anyone else for a while, by the way. And I really, really hated those past two weeks where you avoided me. I wanted to repay you for the breakfast last time, when I got my check. Also, I’ve been drawing a lot more lately, and I wanted to show you.”
She paused, her eyes draping over Rushia’s features, reaching a hand to graze her cheek. Rushia’s skin prickled under her touch and she tilted her head to lean into it, never tearing her eyes away from Marine’s.
“I may not be very good at the whole relationship thing… But I’d like to try, if it’s you.”
A small whimper escaped Rushia’s lips, and she felt like she was on the verge of having a heart attack. Marine leaned in closer, resting her forehead against Rushia’s, her hand cupping Rushia’s cheek.
“I’m gonna kiss you now, alright?”
Rushia responded by grabbing Marine’s collar, dragging her forward to plant an eager kiss on her mouth. Like a rehearsed dance, their bodies melded together as tongues met through parted lips.
When they pulled away, Marine was quick to bury her face into the crook of Rushia’s neck with a sigh of satisfaction. Appreciating the feeling of Marine against her, Rushia bought a hand to crimson hair, affectionately running her fingers through the locks.
“Since we are in the spirit of full disclosure here, you should probably know that there is a 95% probability that my three best friends are currently eavesdropping at the door, and will most definitely be annoying as shit for the foreseeable future.”
Marine groaned against her neck. “Fantastic. Anyway I can win their heart, ‘get rich quick scams’ style?”
A giggle erupted from Rushia’s chest as she answered.
“Actually, there is. How good are you at Super Smash Bros?”
Uruha Rushia used to have a problem. She had jumped head down towards it in a free fall, and she only had herself to blame for it.
Little did she know what Marine had always been there to catch her.