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If you asked Catra, it wasn't her fault. How was she supposed to know the sparkly blue glass bottle full of amazingly scented liquid wasn't for her?
Not her fault she was left unattended, in a giant palace full of rooms she'd never been in. If they didn't want her to go in, they should've told her or put up a security system. Like, come on. Downing the bottle in one chug, Catra savored the taste.
"Mmm. Damn. That was good, but I probably should've done that." She muttered to no one.
"Glimmer might kill me if she finds out."
She paused. Did she just say Glimmer? Huh. Weird.
Placing the bottle down where she'd found it, the magicat hopped off the desk and strolled on out. The other should be back soon. The rest of the gang had gone out to the market, for some type of ice cream, whatever that was. Adora's note had said they'd bring Catra some to try, since the feline woman had been asleep when they'd left.
Strolling through the castle, Catra made her way to the front entrance. She greeted the guards stationed there, while heading out to the front yard. Finding her favorite tree, she climbed it, settling down on one of the higher, sturdier branches. Staring out at the horizon, she waited.
Wasn't long before she saw the familiar cloud of sparkles and magic near the entrance gate to the castle grounds. Catra perked up. She smiled, seeing the group of heroes appear, laughing and chatting. Catra climbed down from the tree, making a beeline towards them. Adora, being Adora, noticed Catra first. She stopped walking, an excited smile on her face.
"Hey, Catra. How was your nap?" She asked.
Catra walked up to the group.
She noticed they were all holding cups of what Catra assumed to be the ice cream Adora had mentioned in her note.
"It was nice. No nightmares." She replied without too much thinking.
Sniffing Adora's cup of ice cream, Catra looked at it curiously.
"Is this the ice cream you said you were gonna get?"
Adora hummed in the affirmative.
Scorpia smiled widely.
"It's so good, Wildcat. You have to try it. It's cold and sweet and if you eat it too fast it freezes your brain!"
Catra's brows furrowed in confusion.
"Freezes your brain? How is that possible?"
Perfuma giggled.
"It doesn't really do that. It just makes you feel really cold for a few seconds and it feels like your brain is frozen. It's more of an intense headache. It passes quickly. Don't worry."
Catra was given her own plastic cup of the frozen treat. It was white and in the shape of a ball, a plastic spoon sticking out of it. Giving it a try, Catra purred in delight.
"I like it." She said.
"Let's head inside." Glimmer suggested. "Heat makes ice cream melt."
The group headed inside, Catra listening to Adora ramble about their time in the market. They walked to the dining area to eat. Catra sat on the table, in front of Adora, sitting cross-legged. She tried to keep with everyone telling her different stuff. She focused on Adora's story. Adora rambled away, smiling, her eyes shining with excitement as she recalled the events of the day.
It made Catra's heart flutter, seeing Adora so happy about something. At some point, Adora paused. She raised an eyebrow.
"What?" She asked.
Catra glanced away, trying to get the attention off herself.
"I'm just happy you're happy." She stated
She stopped. Wait. She didn't mean to say that.
"AWWWW! That's so adorable!"
Catra's ears flattened at the high pitched squeal from none other than Bow. The man was giving Catra that look he always did when she did something he deemed 'cute'. Her face heated up in embarrassment. Everyone was looking at her now. Catra scowled, getting defensive.
"Don't look at me. It's embarrassing." She hissed. "Adora is just happy and I'm glad you guys went out and did something fun. Sounded like you guys had fun and Adora talking about it makes me feel like all is good in the world."
That wasn't what any of them had expected. The tone of voice and the words coming out of her mouth were complete opposite. Glimmer snickered.
"You okay, Horde Scum?" She asked. "You're being really sappy and that's out of character for you."
"Now, guys." Perfuma chided. "It's a good thing that Catra openly cares about Adora and isn't afraid to say it. It shows her emotional growth and her security in expressing her softer emotions. Don't make fun of her for it."
Catra shrunk down.
"I didn't mean to say that!" She almost shouted, looking at the table she was sitting on. "I want to be soft but I feel like you guys would make fun of me. I don't want to be vulnerable like that."
Catra covered her mouth with her hands. What in the universe was going on? Why couldn't she lie? Looking around at everyone, she could see the confusion and surprise on their faces. She hesitated before looking at Adora. Adora looked concerned.
"Um, Catra? Did something happen while we were gone?" She questioned.
Catra pursed her lips together, breaking eye contact. After a moment of silence, Catra felt a hand on her leg, urging her to look at Adora again.
"Catra." Adora said, suspicious of her girlfriend's behavior.
Catra shrugged.
"I wandered around the castle today and found this bottle of something in one of the rooms and so I drank it because I was curious."
"What?!"
Catra jumped when Glimmer nearly shouted in a panic. The queen stood up, eyes on Catra.
"You drank something without knowing what it was?! Why? Where was this?"
Catra hesitated to reply. Glimmer was upset.
"Please don't hurt me." She blurted out.
Glimmer paused at that. Her brows pinched together.
"I'm not going to. Why would you think that?" She asked, confused.
Catra felt trapped. She couldn't get out of this situation. It was too late. So, she stayed silent, her heart pounding in her chest. Adora slowly stood up.
"Hey." She softly spoke to Catra, getting her attention.
Adora took Catra's hands in hers, her thumbs rubbing circles against the fur.
"No one is mad at you. We're just worried. You're not acting like yourself and maybe it has to do with whatever it was you drank. You're not in trouble, baby. I promise."
Catra's emotions were running high and she couldn't understand why. She wanted to calm down and pretend like it wasn't a big deal, but something was forcing these feelings out in the open. It scared her. Why wasn't she in control of herself?
"I don't trust that promise." She said, unable to stop herself.
She wanted to punch herself in the face when hurt flashed across Adora's face. Catra panicked.
"Not your fault! It's mine! I don't trust anyone's promises. Not anymore, at least. It's not you. I love you, but I don't want to believe a promise without being shown they'll keep it. I can't lie to you right now, even though I want to. I know you would never willingly hurt me right now, but I deserve it if you do. I just don't know when you might be lying just to make me feel better and so I take every promise not serious just in case it's broken, so it doesn't hurt as much!"
Damn it! She couldn't stop. Adora's expression was full of mixed emotions. Catra shrank back.
"I fucked up. I definitely did something wrong. You're mad, aren't you?"
Adora was quick to react, shaking her head.
"Nonono! I'm not! I promise!"
"I don't believe you!" Catra all but shouted. "How do I know you're not? I'm a fuck up and we all know it! I always make people angry at me! I did something wrong and now you hate me! Please don't leave me!"
Adora was taken aback.
"Leave you? Why would I do that?" She asked, incredulously.
"Because I deserve it! I know it's gonna happen someday! I know I'll fuck up so badly someday and you'll be done with me and walk away forever! It happened once and can always happen again!"
Catra clamped her mouth shut. She had to stop talking. Adora looked at Glimmer and Bow.
"Yeah. Something's wrong and we need to fix it."
Bow turned towards Catra.
"Can you take us back to where you found this bottle? We can have it tested and find out what it was and why it's making you like this."
Catra nodded mutely. She climbed off the table and led the bewildered group through the castle, and back to the room she'd wandered into earlier. Upon entering the room, Catra walked over to the blue glass bottle, picking it up. She handed it to Glimmer, who had retrieved her dad, Micah to help solve the mystery.
Micah's eyes widened when he saw what Catra was holding. Taking the bottle from the magicat, he looked into it.
"It's almost completely empty." He stated in disbelief.
Micah looked up at Catra, who looked guilty and on the verge of fleeing the room.
"Why did you drink this?" He questioned patiently.
Catra shrugged. "It's shiny and it smells good. Plus, if it were dangerous, I'd assumed there'd be some kind of warning label on it. It tasted really good, too. Is it poisonous?"
Adora tensed up at the word.
"Is it?!" She asked, panic in her voice.
Micah shook his head.
"No. It's not." He said, gaining sighs of relief from everyone. "It's just a truth serum. It forces the drinker to tell the truth all the time and show their true emotions."
Adora, glad that Catra wasn't on verge of death, eased up.
"Will it wear off?"
Micah rubbed his chin, thinking.
"I'm pretty sure it'll wear off in a few hours, maybe days."
Days?!
Glimmer then smirked, crossing her arms.
"So, Horde Scum can't lie?"
Catra's eyes narrowed.
"Stop it. I don't want to tell you guys the truth."
"Why not?" Scorpia asked. "What's the worst that could happen? This could be a good thing."
Catra chewed on her lip. She huffed, taking Adora by the hand, dragging her out. Catra led Adora into the hallway. Stopping, Catra released Adora's hand and crossed her arms. She leaning against the wall, clearly upset about her situation.
"Do you still love me?"
Catra looked up. Adora was fiddling with her hands, insecurity clear in her body language. She refused to make eye contact with Catra.
"What?" Catra raised a brow.
"Do you still love me?" Adora repeated. "I don't want you to be afraid of my reactions. I don't want you to not trust me."
Catra's posture slackened. She stepped up closer to Adora. She reached out and gently moved Adora's head so that they were making eye contact.
"I do. I really love you. More than anyone or anything. That's never changed."
Adora seemed to accept that answer. She smiled. Wrapping her arms around Catra's waist, she pulled the magicat so their bodies were touching.
"I love you too and if you need me to show it instead of telling you all the time, I will."
Catra blushed. She busied her hands, playing with the collar of Adora's jacket.
"That would make me feel better." She admitted. "Then at least, I know you're not just saying it. If I see it and others see it, then it makes it easier to know it's true. It's one of my love languages, as Perfuma calls it. Acts of affection."
Adora gave a nod of determination.
"I'll remember that."
She leaned in and rested her forehead against Catra's.
"This truth serum isn't so bad, huh?" She commented.
Catra hummed in response, not agreeing or disagreeing.
"Being honest is scary." She said. "I might hurt some feelings. I don't think the others will like what I honestly think of some stuff."
Adora kissed her forehead, making Catra purr as a natural response.
"Maybe a session with Perfuma might help with your anxiety." She suggested.
Perhaps that may be true. However, knowing how into her feelings Catra got while with Perfuma, it was bound to get emotional.
"We'll see." Catra decided on, which was true.
She'd have to see what happens.
"Hey lovebirds." Someone spoke up.
The two looked up. Their friends came out of the room, filing into the hallway. Glimmer came up beside Catra, nudging her with her elbow.
"So, Pinocchio. While we wait for this potion to wear off, let's just chill."
"I think that this may be a good opportunity for a trust building and growing process." Perfuma spoke up, smiling sweetly at Catra. "If that's alright with you, of course. I just think you being temporarily unable to lie will benefit this session and frankly, I'm curious as to how you'll respond to us without the ability to skirt around what you really want to say or think."
Catra had to admit. Perfuma was smart. It would be a good chance to talk while Catra was unable to hide what she meant. It was plain and simple for them all to understand. Catra wasn't sure what would happen, but if they were asking for it, who was she to deny them of that?
"If you're sure, then I'll do it. I don't think anything good will come out of this."
Perfuma clapped happily.
"Good. Let's go out to the garden. We can all use some meditation."
Everyone went outside to the castle garden. They found their usual spot, a meadow of flowers and trees. Sitting in a circle in the shade, Perfuma started their guided meditation. It certainly helped calm any of Catra's nerves.
"Now, open your eyes." Perfuma instructed.
Opening her eyes, Catra looked around the circle. Everyone seemed much more relaxed and calm.
Perfuma smiled.
"Now, before we say anything else, I just want to make it clear that this session is meant to help Catra clear out any doubts or thoughts she may have that need to be addressed. Her inability to lie will help keep her honest and so we won't have any skirting around issues or lying. This is also meant to help build trust and better ourselves. No judgement."
She clapped her hands together, looking at Catra.
"So, how have things been since our last session? We don't have to talk about any details with everyone here, Catra. We can keep it vague unless there's something you want to tell them. Ok?"
Catra gave a nod.
"Um, things have been..."
Catra stopped. She seemed to be having trouble, her facing contorting. She groaned in frustration, shoulders sagging.
"I want to lie." She sighed. "I had a panic attack the other day."
Perfuma nodded, face neutral.
"Do you know what caused it?"
Catra's tail swished rapidly, showing her growing unease.
"Yeah."
Catra looked down at the grass.
"It happened in a meeting a few days ago."
"The one when we were discussing what to do with the rogues?" Glimmer asked curiously.
Catra nodded.
She took a breath before continuing.
"Yeah. It happened during the meeting. I was able to hide it until the meeting finished. Melog cloaked me and we went to an empty room and I broke down there."
"How come you didn't tell anyone?" Adora asked. "We could've helped you calm down."
Catra looked at her girlfriend, guilt on her face.
"I didn't want to bother anyone." She admitted. "You guys have enough to worry about. I won't be a burden."
That earned some taken aback looks from everyone but Perfuma, who kept a neutral expression.
"Would you like to elaborate?" She asked.
Catra shook her head.
"If I do, I'll hurt your feelings. I'm mean and we all know it."
Adora rolled her eyes.
"Not all the time. You can be nice." She pointed out.
Catra huffed.
"She's right." Perfuma agreed, pointing at Adora. "You can be very nice without trying. You're not as bad as you think. Now, can you please explain what you meant by not wanting to be a burden. How do you think you're a burden?"
Seeing no point in resisting, Catra sagged her shoulders.
"Because you guys already have to deal with the shit I did during the war and I don't want you to hate me any more than you already do. I don't want to inconvenience you more by having problems that I totally deserve pushed onto you when I should be dealing with them by myself. I've ruined enough of your guys' lives and you let me be a stain in society by allowing me to live here. I can't just allow you guys to carry more weight than necessary. I don't deserve that privilege."
Silence.
Scorpia snorted. She smiled awkwardly.
"Wow. Tell me how you really feel." She muttered.
Perfuma shook herself out of her stupor first.
"Um, well. Ok, let's unpack that-"
"You are not a burden." Adora suddenly claimed, nearly glaring at Catra.
Catra looked at her. Adora was giving a leveled stare, like she was ready to fight her, or lecture her. Catra felt like she was being scolded. Was Adora defending her against herself?
"But I am."
Adora's cheeks puffed out. She blew out air before turned her body towards her.
"You say you're a burden because you're emotionally vulnerable with other people?"
Catra nodded. "Exactly."
Adora looked at Glimmer and Bow, then back at Catra, crossing her arms.
"So..... then I'm a burden on everyone."
Catra's eyes widened. "No, of course not! Don't you dare say that again!" Catra shouted aggressively. "You are allowed to be vulnerable and let others help you. You can't just hold in everything and not let anyone else in. It's what we're here for. Last time you did that, you almost fucking killed yourself."
Adora hummed, tapping her chin.
"Ahuh. See the dilemma here?" She asked, clearly trying to make a point.
Catra blinked at her.
"No."
Perfuma butted in.
"Ok. Catra? Let's talk about this." She suggested.
Catra's focus went to the floral princess. Perfuma was as patient and kind as always.
"So, you're saying that Adora is allowed to lean on others in time of need..."
Catra rolled her eyes.
"Of course." She said. "It's never fun to be alone or to have no one be there for you. Holding in all your problems isn't good and it's good to talk to others. Everyone knows that that dummy has a martyr complex."
Perfuma slowly nodded in agreement.
"That means you can share your problems too." She noted.
Catra scoffed. "No it doesn't. Everyone except me."
"Why?" Perfuma asked.
Catra motioned to herself.
"Because." She said, as if it was a clear answer.
"Because what?" Perfuma pushed, trying to get some kind of logical answer.
"Just because!"
Perfuma had to take a deep breath. She tried again.
"Because why? Use your words, Catra." She requested gently.
Catra groaned out loud in annoyance. "Because I don't deserve anything good."
Perfuma looked around the circle, seeing the equally confused looks on the faces of the others. She looked back at Catra.
"And Adora does?"
Catra gave Perfuma a bewildered look, as if it were obvious.
"She deserves everything good. She's the best kind of person. You all are! You're good and kind and brave and not evil. I'm evil. I don't deserve anything good and I'm going to die alone."
Catra started to laugh. Not a comical laugh, but a self-deprecating sort. It filled in the confused and concerned silence. Perfuma shared a look with Adora, who looked seconds away from exploding. Bow was tearing up, absolutely heartbroken. Catra could be pretty negative at times, but was never this direct. They were a optimistic group and always tried to look on the bright side of things, other than Mermista. However, they'd never encountered an individual so... casually cynical.
For Perfuma, it was unsettling. Had Catra always been this way?
The princess looked to her girlfriend. Scorpia probably knew Catra almost as well as Adora. She'd experienced Catra's negative behavior firsthand, and Perfuma thought she'd might know how to deal with this. Scorpia was sitting quietly, looking at Catra with her jaw hanging.
"Scorpia?" Perfuma spoke up. "Anything you'd like to say?"
Scorpia looked at Perfuma, her shock wearing off pretty quickly. She paused for a second before turning back to her best friend.
"Wildcat!" She scolded, astounded. "You are anazing! You're such a good person, and you care about others. You of all people deserve a good life."
Catra made a face.
"Mmm do I though?" She asked skeptically.
"Yes!" Scorpia exclaimed. "Stars, why is this a debate? Don't talk about my best friend like that! You rock! Why would you say you don't?"
Catra snickered.
"Would you like a list?"
Scorpia glared at her, daring her. Catra was unbothered.
"You're scary, but here goes because I want to hate myself. I'm mean, I was a Horde Captain, I almost destroyed the world, I was a bitch to everyone including you. I was probably abandoned as a baby so that must've been the first sign that I'm unloveable. Shadow Weaver was right when she said I would be nothing but a stain on the world. I still hate most people, especially Hordak. He scares me but I'll fight him if I feel threatened by him because I refuse to have him think I'm weak even though I believe I am. I spent my life trying to gain his and Shadow Weaver's approval because I want it so I can feel good enough. I'm still bitter about her favoring Adora even though I don't blame Adora anymore. I'm still mad that I'm not good enough. I know I'll never match up to Adora. She's better than me in every way and I hate it. I compare myself to everyone in this room all the time."
Adora went to speak up but Catra held up a finger to silence her.
"Not done yet. I'm a freak. I'm a magicat. The only one I know. Yes I know we're all special and unique, but I feel different because none of you guys can relate to me. I probably need more friends. Diverse friends."
Perfuma perked up.
"Good idea, Catra. Making new friends would definitely benefit you. Do you want to make that a goal?"
Catra snorted. "No. Cuz then you'll expect me to do it."
Perfuma's brows pinched in confusion.
"Yeah. That's the point of setting a goal. You're going to do it, right?"
Catra shook her head.
"No way. No, ma'am."
"Why not?"
"Because."
Perfuma sighed.
"Because why?"
Catra groaned. She motioned to herself.
"Because I hate myself! If I don't like me, how can I expect anyone else to like me? Have you met me?"
"I like you." Scorpia said.
"Me too." Bow agreed.
"I love you." Adora added.
Catra looked bewildered.
"Why?" She asked, genuinely confused. "It's not going to last forever. You all are crazy. I don't see why anyone would actually like me. I hate me, and wish I could die. I don't deserve you guys to like me."
Adora screamed in frustration.
Catra flinched.
"You're mad at me." She said, as if it were a fact.
"What? No I'm not." Adora argued.
"You look mad. I'm probably annoying you by refusing to believe you and that makes you mad. If I were able to lie, I'd apologize to calm you down and end the conversation, but I can't. I'm not sorry for disagreeing, but I'm nervous you'll get fed up and think I'm either asking for attention or just not worth it and then I'll lose you forever because I'm stupid and worthless and stubborn and you'll see it too."
"Catra!" Adora yelled. "And you are not any of those things. The Catra I know is sweet and funny and snarky and smart and worthy of love. You mean the world to me, so stop putting yourself down!"
"I don't see it, but I'm glad you see something worth loving in me. Though I kinda think you're lying to make feel not like trash. I feel that way no matter what."
Adora took a deep breath.
"I'm going to kill you."
Bow tackled Adora, holding her back from strangling Catra. Catra seemed proud of herself.
"Yeah. I want to kill myself too. I've tried, like a handful of times."
That got Perfuma's attention.
"Oh? And what caused you to attempt?"
Catra hugged her knees, her mood darkened significantly.
"I realized how shitty I am and how hurt and angry I feel all the time and how much damage is done to others and I feel like the only way to stop myself is to die."
Perfuma nodded, taking in the information.
"And how do you feel now? Any particular thoughts or feelings I should know about? Have planned anything recently or done anything to yourself that might need... um, medical assistance?"
Catra let out an exaggerated breath. She looked around, humming, clearly avoiding talking. That wasn't a good sign. Perfuma's eyes narrowed.
"Catra. Please answer the question."
Catra glanced her way, before looking over at Glimmer.
"You know. If you ever want to get revenge the whole portal thing, I'd appreciate it if you could do it now." She informed Glimmer. "I'd really not like to answer this question because you're not going to like what I have to say and I don't want to burden anyone with my craziness and inability to care about living."
Glimmer looked Catra up and down, just as alarmed as the others.
"Catra, answer the question." She demanded, her voice even and quiet.
Catra tapped the ground with her claws, looking uncomfortable.
"I have been thinking about jumping off the moonstone tower. Nearly did it a few days ago. Just a thought and sometimes I get the urge to just jump. I also have written a few suicide letters, though none of them were ever meant to be the final notes. They were just thoughts I had about what would I say if it were to be noted I'd leave you guys. Nothing official. I'll probably burn them just so that if anyone finds them on accident, they won't start a commotion, thinking I'd actually attempted at that moment. Wouldn't want to alarm anyone until I actually am trying to die. They'd just think I was looking for attention."
Well then. Perfuma swallowed, trying to gather her words.
"Ok, um. Do you want to hurt yourself right now? Any thoughts of... doing something like that?"
Catra rubbed her hands against her leggings. She nodded.
"Yeah. I want to throw myself off the castle, just to have this whole thing be done. I don't want to tell the truth anymore. I might start lying from now on just because I can. I'm angry at you guys for having this conversation. Of all the things we could've done, we had a therapy session. Though I'm more mad at myself for agreeing so I feel guilty for being mad at you guys. I have no right to be mad at anyone."
Catra felt a warm hand taking hers. Turning her head, she met gazes with Adora, who looked troubled and saddened by Catra's confession. It made guilt build up in Catra, knowing that she was unloading all her worries and doubts onto her friends. Adora gently squeezed her hand.
"Catra. I want you to tell me when you feel this way. I want to help you any way I can. I care so much about you and I could never hate you for trusting me to help you. You've been silently suffering so much this whole time and you never said anything. It breaks my heart, Cat."
Adora's eyes pooled with tears. She sniffled, not wanting to cry.
"You deserve all good things and you deserve to love and be loved. It's hard to comprehend that, I know, but please try. I want you to feel the same happiness we feel when we're with you. I know you've made mistakes in the past, but that doesn't make you less worthy of love. You know that I love you, but you'll never know just how much."
Catra blushed, ducking her head. Adora giggled.
"You are more than what you've done. You're more than what you've been taught. I thought you were past your self-hatred and hatred towards the world. Naive of me, I guess. I'm not giving up. I'm just as stubborn as you are. I'm not stopping until the day I die that I will do everything I can to help you learn to love yourself. I know you can get there."
Catra sighed.
"I want to believe you." She breathed. "I don't think I can. I just don't see myself how you see me. I'm scared to try. If I change how I see myself, it'll hurt when people see me negatively too. It can't hurt if I agree with them."
Adora nodded.
"That's true, but it hurts no matter what, right?"
Catra nodded minutely.
"Yeah. Not as much as it used to. I know they're right now, so-"
"They're not, though." Glimmer spoke up.
That gained Adora and Catra's attention. The queen looked as determined and serious as Adora.
"You've grown since the war. I used to hate you, you know. Then I saw that I'm not so different from you. It helped me see the real you. Ever since then, you've only gotten better. I can see it in your eyes. You're not some monster. You're a good person and I'm glad you're still alive. I want you to stay and be happy. I'll fight you for you."
That last part made both girls laugh. Catra smiled.
"I'll remember that, Sparkles. It means a lot that you like me. I thought we'd never really became friends, even if you guys say we are. Like I said before, words don't convince me."
Glimmer crawled over to Catra. The young ruler wrapped her arms around Catra, giving a gentle but firm embrace.
"I love you, Catra." Glimmer said. "Believe that. You and I are family in my book. I know my dad would adopt you if you asked."
Catra scoffed.
"No he wouldn't. I couldn't ask him to adopt the reason his wife is gone. That's cruel and I'm not being cruel to the man. Not risking rejection, so no thanks. I'll keep being an orphan. Adora deserves to be adopt by Micah, even though I'd be totally heartbroken if that happens. I would love to have parents, or just for an older adult to love me, but I refuse to let myself get my hopes up since no one could ever want me as their spawn. They'd hate me."
Glimmer pulled away. She looked at Bow.
"Can your dads adopt her?" She asked. "I'll make it happen?"
Catra's eyes widened in panic.
"No! I can't handle rejection. It's why I became evil in the first place. I'm afraid of being told I'm not wanted. I don't want to tell you this! You'll judge me and prove me right! I'm going to cry!"
Glimmer tightened her grip on Catra.
"Hey. Breathe, Cat. There's nothing to worry about."
"Yeah." Bow agreed, typing on his trackerpad. "My dads love you. They talk about wanting to adopt you since they met you. Plus, I've always wanted a sister and younger sibling."
He suddenly gasped, lifting his head, sparkles in his eyes.
"You'll be the youngest! That's so cute!"
Catra glared at him.
"You're older by a month. Basically the same as me." She argued. "I like the idea of having a brother, but 13 brothers sounds terrifying. They probably won't like me. I have anxiety meeting new people who I want to like me."
Bow waved away her concerns, going back to typing in his trackerpad.
"They'll love you. You're a badass history nerd that sneezes cute. What's not to love? Don't answer that."
Catra purred to soothe herself. She pressed herself against Adora's as if trying to hide.
"Now I'm scared. This isn't going to end well and it'll be me who ends up crushed. Don't let me handle this alone."
Adora cradled Catra in her arms.
"We won't. You're not gonna be alone ever again. Okay?"
Catra sighed.
"We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll believe you in the future. I hope you're right, guys."
Quiet filled the space, the conversation over.
Adora absentmindedly ran her fingers through Catra's hair. A thought popped up.
"Do you like my hair?" Adora asked, curious.
Catra smiled. "I got used to it. It suits you but I like it down more than the ponytail. The poof is funny to look at and makes it hard to take you serious sometimes, but I don't care about it. You like it, so that's all I care about. If I didn't like it, it'd be gone by now."
Adora seemed satisfied with the answer.
"Oooh!" Bow exclaimed, face bright.
"Do you like being called cute?" He asked.
Catra huffed.
"Yes." She snarked. "But it makes me feel like you think I'm weak or pathetic. I refuse to be seen as inferior."
Bow frowned.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I never meant to make you think that. I don't think you're weak. Being cute is a good thing. Makes you more likable and easy to approach. That's not a bad thing to us."
Catra crossed her arms, burrowing it Adora's arms.
"In the Horde, I was a freak for looking like this. No one but Adora and our squad thought I was normal. So now when people comment on me being a magicat or my eyes, I think they're laughing at me. Wouldn't be the first time."
Adora smiled sadly. Her face confirmed what Catra was saying.
"Well, we like you just the way you are." Scorpia said proudly. "Also, do you like my hugs?"
Catra looked at her, ears pricking up.
"They're overwhelming sometimes but I don't mind them. They can be comforting to me."
Scorpia squealed with joy.
"Are you a bottom?" Glimmer smirked wickedly.
Catra glared at her.
"That's none of your business." Catra quipped, crossing her arms.
Glimmer shrugged.
"I'm curious. Are you because I can't imagine you topping Adora anymore. Maybe in the past, but you seem more bratty but submissive if you get kinky."
Catra's face was was burning. Adora looked on fire. Perfuma and Bow facepalmed. Catra did everything she could to not answer Glimmer's invasive question.
"What? Pshh I- why would you? How is that... No! I'm a switch!"
Catra suddenly gasped, beaming.
"I can lie again!" She exclaimed in relief.
Catra cheered. Adora giggled, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.
"Thank goodness. It's over, but I did appreciate your honesty."
Perfuma smiled.
"Me too. I'm sure we've all learned something from this experience and will use it to grow and become better as a team and as individuals. I think that's enough for today, don't you think, Catra?"
Catra nodded in agreement. She stood up, taking Adora with her. Catra chuckled, her mannerisms shy.
"Totally, but um..."
Everyone waited for her to continue. Catra looked down at the ground.
"It wouldn't kill me to be more honest about my more darker thoughts. I'll work on that. Thanks, guys, for everything. I really appreciate you all taking the time to listen to me. I'll try and like myself more."
Scorpia awwwed.
"Awww! Group hug!"
Everyone squished together in a group hug. Catra smiled, enjoying the warmth. Pulling apart, Glimmer turned to Catra.
"Wait, you're not a switch." She said, clearly not believing it. "You figured out you could lie when you said that!"
Catra smirked and shrugged at the accusation.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." She simply replied before walking back towards the castle, Adora in tow.
Glimmer's mouth fell open. She followed the couple.
"C'mon Catra! Tell me! Adora! Whisper it in my ear! She doesn't have to know!"
"Not happening, Sparkles."