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Sometimes, Tommy wonders if, by becoming a famous streamer, he inadvertently cursed himself to get caught in the middle of the strangest situations.
After all, his day began normally as it could. He woke up, getting dressed in jeans, sneakers and iconic red-and-white t-shirt. It’s been over half a year now since he exploded onto Twitch and YouTube, quickly rising in popularity as time went on. Even now, it blew him away just how far he’s come within a short period of time, and he was grateful for the experience he’s had and friends he’s gained along the way.
Scarfing down a quick breakfast, he grabbed his backpack and made his way to school, which had gone back to in-person classes within the last month. He waved to people as he arrived, speaking to his friends before heading to his first class.
However, this day was a little special because he wouldn’t be stuck going to all his classes today (he’d miss media, though, which made him sad). Instead, he was herded onto a bus alongside his biology class and they made the half hour trip to the zoo for a field trip.
He milled around near the font gate with his classmates as their biology teacher, Mrs. Smith, began discussing general rules for the field trip, as well as the assignment they would be working on. Several students groaned, Tommy included, at the prospect of more work but Mrs. Smith told them they were there for school, not to mess around. Once the assignment was handed out, the students were free to get started, planning to all meet back at the front gate by 3 pm.
“Also, Tommy,” the teacher added, causing the blond to pause. “As this is a school event, please refrain from any filming until we’ve returned to campus.”
Grumbling, the teen nodded, lamenting about losing an easy vlog video of him going around calling animals ‘little bitch boys’.
The next couple of hours, despite having to work on that assignment, were pretty enjoyable. Tommy didn’t go to the zoo a whole lot growing up, due to the distance it took to get there, but he always enjoyed seeing all of the animals. There was even one summer where his parents signed him up for a week-long marine biology camp which, if he hadn’t become largely attached to gaming and streaming, he might’ve been convinced of a career change. He was currently writing down the information from the exhibit sign for the giraffes when he could hear a commotion behind him.
Turning, he saw several of his classmates, include a couple of his friends, screwing around in front of an enclosure but he couldn’t see the sign or animal. They were yelling at each other, getting annoyed looks from the other patrons. Sighing, Tommy walked over to them.
“Why do you need to be so damn loud?” he asked.
“That stupid bird’s too far away to get a good photo so we’re trying to get it closer,” one of them responded, waving down into the exhibit.
Looking down, Tommy could see that, at the other side of the enclosure, was an ostrich. Damn, they really do look like wrong’uns , Tommy thought, his face scrunching at the sight.
“What the fuck, dude?!”
Tommy snapped back to see one of his idiotic classmates leaning over the railing, practically hanging into the exhibit with his arm outstretched, phone precariously perched in his hand trying to get a bloody photo. This fucking idiot’s going to get us all into shit, the teen thought, quickly moving to help pull his classmate back.
It soon turned into a fucking game of tug-o-war, one group trying to pull their classmate back while the others pulled them away to let the dumbass half hang into the enclosure. The struggle left Tommy in the middle, too far tangled in the conflict to get out now. He yelled at the teen before he was suddenly shoved forward, his body weight and momentum pitching him over the edge and into open air.
Tommy landed with a hard thud, face smushed into the sand. He spat it out (he’s not fucking Wil) and slowly got up, brushing off his clothes. His head was fucking killing him from falling and he needed to go see if he could get something to deal with it from his teacher. Turning, he came face-to-face with a stone wall, eyes gradually leading up to see his classmates freaking out above him.
“Behind you!”
Slowly, Tommy turned around and saw a large, black blur quickly hauling ass towards him. It took three seconds to remember that this was an ostrich, and he just fell into its home.
Yeah, fuck that.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Tommy cursed, trying to outrun the creature despite knowing there was no point. He stopped to catch his breath, deciding that if he can’t outrun it, he needed to buy himself enough time to make an escape. He could hear voices above him as zookeepers scrambled to get to the enclosure’s entrance, telling him to hold out until someone came to get him. Until then, he just needed to fend off the beast barreling down upon him, just barely rolling away in time to miss getting a face full of beak. But who the hell would just know how to defend themself against an ostrich of all animals?!
Tommy, fortunately, knew how, albeit unintentionally.
“Use a long weapon.”
It had just been a stupid bit they did for a video, would it even work? Only one way to find out.
“If you are forced to defend yourself against an ostrich, avoid close quarters combat. Keep as far out of reach of its legs as you can. Use the nearest, longest object that could be used as a weapon.”
Tommy slung his backpack off, Charlie Slimecicle’s voice echoing through his head. Looking inside, he found his video camera tripod he used for media class. Ripping it from his bag, he abandoned his backpack to quickly extend the object to its maximum length. It was hard to get a great grip on it but, gripping the three legs as tightly as possibly, he was able to gain a sturdy, lengthy enough weapon to work.
“Keep to the ostrich’s side. Consider yourself as the most risk when the two of you are FACE TO FACE. Stay behind or to the side of the bird as much as possible to keep clear of its most POWERFUL WEAPON.”
I’m fucking trying, dickhead, Tommy grumbled. The ostrich rushed him again, forcing him to dive out of the way. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly skilled in gladiatorial combat with oversized birds and lost hold of his ‘weapon’, the tripod skidding just behind the bastard. Tommy scrambled backwards as the sound of thundering footsteps approached, grabbing the discarded backpack and flinging it at the creature’s face. He didn’t even wait to see if it made contact, hoping that the screech it let out is one of pain and not anger as he rushed over and grabbed his weapon.
“AIM FOR THE NECK. Consider this to be the ostrich’s weakest body part, despite their considerable size. Strike it where it is most vulnerable and least protected TO DEFEAT IT QUICKLY!”
Now this was tricky. Despite the fact that he was under attack, Tommy really didn’t want to cause harm to the animal. He really liked animals and hated the idea of hurting them, both on accident and on purpose. He knew for a fact that if he swung at its neck, he would surely cause a great deal of, maybe even irreversible, damage. That didn’t sit well with him and he decided that he had to do something else that didn’t involve potentially crushing the poor thing’s throat.
“GO FOR THE LEGS!”
Okay, that could be a little more acceptable.
“If you find yourself behind or to the side of the ostrich, with an easy shot to one of its legs, take it. PERIOD. If given a chance, deliver one or both a blow to upset its balance, speed, and striking power.”
Adjusting his grip, Tommy extends the tripod in front of him, bracing himself as the ostrich sprinted towards him again. Waiting until the last second, Tommy spun out of the way of the protruding neck, the sound of the creature’s beak snapping shut mere inches from his ears. Swinging with all the strength he had, the teen slammed the tripod into the bird’s left leg, wincing when he heard the bone give way to the metal.
He could see the door to the enclosure fling open, three zookeepers rushing in to help handle the situation. Tommy sprinted towards them, the bird’s shrieks following him as he was quickly escorted from the enclosure.
He did it.
He successfully fended off an ostrich.
Charlie Slimecicle, you magnificence bastard.
After it was over, he apologized profusely to the zookeepers, already saying that he would help with the vet bill. Luckily, according to the quick assessment from the veterinary, the worst the bird sustained was a broken leg which, with time and rehabilitation, would heal. His teacher stood beside him as the managers of the zoo began discussing legal stuff that flew by his head. He was told that because it was self-defense, he couldn’t be charged with animal cruelty and was told to avoid falling into animal enclosures in the future.
Tommy knew that there would be more that needed to be done, but he just wanted to get home at this point. He was a streamer, and this was the most exercise he’s done in ages.
Eventually, Tommy and his class made their back to the bus, his tripod now slightly dented and tucked away in his backpack that he was given back. He ignored his friends and peers’ bickering, deciding to text Tubbo about what happened. Later that evening, he ended up recounting the experience to Tubbo and Ranboo in a private Discord call, the three laughing at the absurdity of it all. He eventually crawled into bed, drained from a long day.
Unfortunately, he woke up to a whole new batch of trouble.
Ring, ring.
Groaning, Tommy slowly grabbed his phone, stifling a yawn as he answered the call.
“Why the hell are you calling me this earlier, bitch?” Tommy asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Have you seen Twitter yet?” Wilbur’s voice responded, quickly cutting to the chase.
Tommy groaned. “Obviously not, bitch. I just woke up.”
“Just look.”
Letting out another groan, Tommy pulled up the app to blink in surprise at the top trend.
TommyInnit vs Nature
Scrolling through, he could see several retweets of a video posted yesterday. Clicking on it, he watched from an outsider’s perspective of his battle yesterday, starting from when the ostrich first ran after him and ending just after he disappeared out of the enclosure with the zookeeper.
He could see a mixture of concern, humor, and anger within the thread and comments, with memes sprinkled around in high doses. It seemed many picked up the connection between yesterday and the Body Shuffle Mod video, laughing at the parallel.
Hell, Charlie Slimecicle himself retweeted the video, tagging the teen and commenting saying ‘I guess it’s called ‘WikiHow’ for a reason, huh? #POVyoureostrich’
“Tommy? You still there, mate?”
Wilbur’s voice pulled Tommy from his stupor, reminding him that he was still on call with the musician. “Yeah, I’m still here.”
“What the actual hell happened, Tommy?” Tommy sighed, already preparing for the headache of dealing with this.
“It’s a LONG story.”
And if just so happened to make the meme his new phone background because of how absurdly hilarious it was, who could blame him.
