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For someone who was so astute and calculating, Oikawa could be remarkably dense. Not that Iwaizumi wanted him to realize, of course. There was no easy he would feel the same way, so better Oikawa never knew and Iwaizumi still get to have moments like these.
They were in the middle of one of their sleepovers, and he was lying on his stomach, pretending to be drowsy, when in reality, he was anything but. One of his arms was draped across Oikawa's chest, and the setter was cuddled up next to him on his phone.
Texting some girl.
Iwaizumi was trying to ignore that part.
Instead, he tried to focus on the feeling of Oikawa lying next to him. It was getting pretty damn hard. The sounds the iPhone keyboard made as Oikawa responded again were mocking him. He consoled himself with the fact that right now Oikawa was here with him, not her.
Finally, Oikawa put down his phone and turned on his side to face him. Iwaizumi stayed where he was until Oikawa poked his cheek, then he finally flipped over. All the blood had rushed to his face, due to his sleeping position among other things...
Oikawa, of course, took note of this immediately.
"Awww, Iwa-chan, am I making you blush?" Oikawa smirked teasingly, before laughing it off.
More heat rushed to Iwaizumi's face, but he scoffed, trying to cover it up. Again, so observant, but so dense. Oikawa was the type who flirted with everyone, including his best friend, but typically never meant anything by it. This made it especially hard for Iwaizumi, and it felt like he was constantly on board an emotional roller coaster. One day, he was sure that is was maybe possible Oikawa liked him back, the next day he was convinced of the opposite.
"So, Iwa," Oikawa continued conspiratorially, "how long do you think it will be till I can get this girl to fall for me, hmm? I've been at it for almost two weeks now, and its been two months since Cara dumped me." Oikawa sighed, "I hate being single. I don't know how you do it all the time, Iwa-chan."
Of course. Oikawa was such an ass. Couldn't he see this was driving him crazy? And that last bit was low.
Iwaizumi pulled his arm away and put a bit of distance between him and Oikawa. He could do this, he was fine--
"Geez, Iwa, so touchy." Oikawa snickered, seemingly unaware that the humorous aspect of this conversation had died long ago. Suddenly, though, he seemed to realize the change in mood. "Hey, Iwa-chan, are you--"
Inside his head, he told him. Right there and then. He poured his heart out to Tooru and he didn't care whether he reciprocated his feelings or not, because he had done it and either way, they would be okay.
That, however, was just inside his head. As much as he wished he could be, he wasn't brave, or honest, enough to say it aloud.
"I'm fine," Iwaizumi responded, turning away under the weak pretence of stretching. Iwaizumi couldn't bare to face him right then. He was a coward.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." The damning nail in the coffin. He'd had chance, an opening, and once again he'd let it pass. He wondered how many chances he had left, how many more nails it would take before he was six feet under.
Tooru shrugged, turning off the light. "I love you Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, wrapping an arm around him in the dark.
"I love you too, Oikawa." He said it begrudgingly, but it wasn't. He'd gladly say it over and over again... he just wished they meant it in the same way. For now though, or even forever, it would have to be enough.