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“I saw you on a Sunday in a café, and all you did was look my way.” Sonny thought when he saw the man entering the precinct, he looked familiar, he could remember those green eyes anywhere. And his heart started to race, and his hands started to shake. He hoped none of his coworkers saw him almost hypnotized by the other man.
A few moments later he walked out next to the Sargent, greeted Fin, Nick and Amanda and then looked at him directly in the eyes for a few moments before nodding and leaving the building next to Olivia.
“Carisi?”
“Yes Sarge” he said getting up from his chair.
“You know Barba?”
“Who? The man who just walked in?” she hummed in response
“No, no that I can recall”
“Ha. Weird, he told me you looked familiar, he worked in Brooklyn before, maybe from there?”
“No, no Sarge, first time I heard from him.” She patted him on the arm and went to his office.
The next few months of working together Carisi noticed Barba had a particular way of treating people, he was somehow sarcastic, which could be offensive to most people but for some reason, it was ok with him, it didn’t irritate him as much as Nick or Amanda, he kind of enjoyed the teasing.
Little by little he gained Barba’s trust and when finally got the courage to ask him if he could shadow him in court, he started to spend more time with him after work, sometimes in his office, sometimes at the bar, except for one night…
“Apparently the rain is not going to stop anytime soon, Barba, they say it might be one of those awful storms.”
“Shit, really? We really need to finish this, but we can’t stay here all night.”
“Maybe we can finish tomorrow morning?”
“No… look at all those files, we have court tomorrow at 8am, we are not going to finish.” He sounded worried, and Carisi couldn’t blame him, the bastard could walk away if they didn’t finish prepping for interrogation. “Ok this is what we are going to do, pack the files, we are going to my place.” Carisi’s eyes shot opened
“your- your place?”
“Is there a problem? We need to finish, it’s important, we can’t stay here, I have to stand in front of a jury tomorrow, I need a new suit, I don’t have a backup here that I could use in case we were going to your place, therefore, my place.”
“What about me? I have to use my suit again?”
“doesn’t look dirty, plus, I can give you a shirt and a tie, I have tons to spare… and it would be an improvement to your wardrobe.” Carisi looked at him offended but didn’t say a word, “C’mon, we have no time to lose, you are the one who will have to drive with rain not me so…”
The drive to Barba’s place was quiet, only small talk about the weather and occasional humming to a song on the radio. At least Barba didn’t complain.
There was no parking available in front of Barba’s building so they walked in the rain, a couple blocks to his apartment.
“Come in, don’t look so scared” Barba said when he caught Carisi staring in his eyes as if he was asking for permission.
“Sorry, I’m not usually like this”
“I hope so, you are freaking me out. Why are you so nervous?”
“I dunno, I- I get a little bit nervous around you. Sometimes I talk a little too much around you or even get a little self-conscious” Rafael scoffed at that last bit.
“You? Self-conscious? Why? Do I make you feel like that?”
“Not directly, I mean, you are a great lawyer, successful, you dress nicely, everyone respects you, you are handsome-“ Sonny stopped him after he realized what he just said and looked at Rafael trying hard not to blush but failing miserably considering he was pale and it was a physiological reaction.
“You think I’m handsome?” he asked adding his teasing tone, the one Sonny loved but at this moment, also hated so much.
“I- I mean…”
“You are not so bad detective” he said, nodding slightly to reassure the other man, “and please, everyone loves you, don’t you think I’m a little bit envious about that myself?”
“Never thought about it, no….”
“well… now you know. You tell someone and I will deny it, I could even charge you with perjury” he laughed at his last response and then tried to change the conversation into a different tone.
They started working and they had all the files spread on his coffee table, which was big enough to be considered a dining table. Both men were going around the living room sitting on a different couch depending on the file they needed, occasionally bumping into each other.
At about 1am after losing the ties, coats… Rafael looked at Sonny for a moment, as if he was trying to decipher something and disappeared into the hall. Sonny was confused but didn’t stop or say anything to him, he went back to work, maybe he needed something from his room or he wanted to sleep, who was he to judge?
After about 10 minutes that felt like an eternity, Rafael reentered the room in a hoodie and sweatpants with another similar outfit in his hands.
“I’m considerably bigger than you, but you are taller, so maybe, if my math is ok, that should be bigger enough to fit a noodle man like you.” He said offering the clothes to Sonny was looking at him trying to take that as a compliment or an insult. “C’mon just take it, you are going to ruin your suit and you need it for tomorrow ‘cause I doubt my pants are going to fit you considered all of them are tailored, unless of course, you want to go to court looking like you are wearing shorts.” Again, Sonny didn’t understand if that was meant to be a compliment to his tall self or an insult.
He avoided more self-embarrassment and took the clothes to go change. He meant to go to the bathroom but ended up in Barba`s room. He closed the door and admired his surroundings for a minute.
The room looked cozy and elegant at the same time, it was white and gray which gave a manly and stylish look, there was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a painting up in the wall, a small couch on one side and a rug. Considering it was probably the principal room, it had an ensuite bathroom and a walk-in closet. Against his better judgment and the values his mom taught him as a kid, he walked in to check it out. In his sleep deprived head, it was an adventure and a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That closet felt bigger than his apartment, he had at least 45 different pairs of shoes, shirts in every color and pattern possible, as well as more suits than Brook Brothers on display. He allowed himself to get closer to the racks and accidentally touched a button that turned on the lights to the cabinets next to the shoe section showing his impressive watch and cufflinks collection. Sonny was not a genius, but Barba’s closet valued more than Sonny’s furniture, apartment, car, maybe even more valuable than his own life. He was so mesmerized by everything he didn’t notice the presence of the other man until he looked himself in the mirror and saw Rafael standing at the door.
“I was going to sue you for perjury, not searching without a warrant detective” he said with a smirk on his face, at least he wasn’t mad, or he wasn’t showing it, Sonny thought.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. The- the light was on, my curiosity was bigger and I clicked something... It turned on more lights and- it’s just so beautiful!“
“don’t worry it’s ok, you are not the first one impressed by it” he said, getting closer “normally it’s the ladies who end up admiring themselves in the mirror and telling me how much they like it. I didn’t make it tho, the design, it was part of the apartment when I first bought it, the previous owner was a fashion lover too, very convenient. The guys normally say it’s too much, they made fun of it, so, I’m glad you liked it.”
“Looks like Hannah Montana’s closet” Sonny said
“who?”
“nothing, I have nieces”
“Well I actually found what we needed, finished the argument and now it’s ready for tomorrow. Plus, I got an email and court was rescheduled for 11am considering the storm.”
“wait- How long have I been here?” Rafael laughed softly
“20-25 minutes?”
“25 minutes?!” now he was blushing “I’m so sorry I was supposed to help and ended up being nosy”
“It’s ok don’t worry, but now, go get change, we have to sleep, if we go now, we can have breakfast tomorrow before leaving.” Rafael patted him on the back and walked away.
Sonny finally changed into the clothes that fit perfectly and then went to the living room to find the biggest couch so he could sleep somehow comfortably.
“What are you doing?” Rafael asked when he saw Sonny testing all the cushions to see which one was more comfortable under his head. He turned his head to look at him when he heard his voice. “You want to sleep on the couch?”
“I mean… if you have a sleeping bag I can sleep on the floor if you don’t want me to ruin your couch” Rafael laughed so hard he was crying.
“Sonny,” he finally said after a minute, “You saw the size of my bed, we fit more than perfectly there, I don’t move around that much, we are going to be fine”
“you want me to sleep in your bed with you?”
“Is there a problem?”
“No. NO! I don’t think so, no.” he said trying not to show the panic in his voice.
“then let’s go”
Both men got into bed and Sonny couldn’t resist himself from moaning when he felt how soft and comfortable the bed was. Rafael chuckled in response and after saying good night he turned off the lights.
The next morning Sonny woke up to a soft snoring and an arm wrapped around his waist. When he realized where and with who he was he froze, Rafael’s head was on his chest and they even had their legs entangled so getting out of there without waking up the other man was going to be a difficult thing to do.
He looked at the clock next to him and it was 6:30am. They still had time, so he decided to enjoy the feeling for a while. Rafael’s hair smelled delicious and his soft breathing against his chest was the most beautiful thing ever. He pictured these moments at least a million times and couldn’t believe he had to thank the storm for this. His arms were spread trying not to touch the other man to avoid interrupting his sleep but at a point he couldn’t fight the urge to hug him. Now the thing was to find the right spot to place his arms without making it awkward.
“just hug me, don’t think about it too much,” Rafael said with a sleepy deep voice and Sonny gasped in surprise, “I can feel your arms moving around and it’s bothering me” Carefully, Sonny placed his arms around Rafael and the other man hugged him a little bit tighter in response. “It's cold and you are very comfortable Sonny” he said looking up at the tall man with his green eyes barely opened.
“I’m glad I can help with that. Go back to sleep, it’s still early we have at least one hour more Barba”
“You can call me Rafael, you know? I’m sleeping with you, basically wrapped around you as if you were a tree, I call you Sonny and I like you, you can call me Rafael”
“You what?!”
“I like you, you didn’t know?” Rafael looked up at him again.
“NO! how could I know?”
“I’m constantly teasing you, I let you shadow me, we have dinner, I share with you about my private life, told you I was going to let you borrow my clothes, I actually gave you some to sleep, I let you check out my closet… for god sake I let you sleep on my bed and told you to hug me! What part was unclear for you?”
“I- I thought you treated everyone like that!”
“Sonny I’m not that nice” Rafael sat looking at him directly in the eye, “Sorry if that wasn’t direct enough for you, I thought you felt the same way, I shouldn’t have assumed, I apologize for that”
“don’t be... I am!”
“you are what?”
“I am- I like you. I like you too, but I- I thought you weren’t interested.”
“I’m glad you are a good lawyer, cause no offense, you are not that good as a detective” he said playfully
“Come here” Sonny said, opening his arms so Rafael could hug him again the way they were before. “Thank you for that” he placed a kiss on the top of his head “I like you too, I’m so glad we are both in the same place. So… are we…?”
“I don’t know; do you want us too?”
“I- I do actually, yes”
“then I guess we are”
“Ok. I like that. I like us, Raf”
“I like us too, Sonny. But you are blind and I have to say it.”