Chapter Text
Podfic (Chapters 1-3):
Warning: for some reason this played super loudly on my earbuds but very normally on my computer speakers, just be warned, I don't want to burst your eardrums. Hopefully this is just a me problem and not a computer problem.
Text:
Lan Wangji was exhausted. He’d been working too hard ever since he’d taken on the job of searching the prisoner of war camps for non-combatants and rehoming them. On top of that, there was his ongoing worry about Wei Wuxian. The hunt at Phoenix Mountain was supposed to have been a respite; time for him to get out and kill some monsters and not have to think about the crushing pressures of dealing with the fucked-up political nonsense of the Jin sect, but then he’d run into Wei Wuxian and then Wei Wuxian had run into Jin Zixun and everything had gone to shit.
Now Lan Wangji was at a banquet he didn’t want to be at, but Brother had said that his job would be easier if he just played nice for once, and Brother was rarely wrong about these things.
Wei Wuxian hadn’t shown up. If Lan Wangji hadn’t had all these stupid obligations, Lan Wangji would have gotten up and gone to find him, forced him to finally tell him what was wrong with him.
But he had stupid obligations. People would suffer if Lan Wangji didn’t smile (or give his best approximation of a smile) and play nice. Lan Wangji playing nice. It was like someone’s idea of a bad joke.
So when Jin Zixun held out the cup of wine to Lan Wangji, he took it, not knowing what else to do. Play nice, he reminded himself. He downed the whole thing in one gulp, just as he saw a flash of black and red out of the corner of his eye.
“No, Lan Zhan!” Lan Wangji heard Wei Wuxian cry, as he felt himself begin to sway and topple over. Warm arms wrapped around him.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying said again, his voice blurry and muted.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji looked up at Wei Ying with a happy sigh. “You’re here.”
“I’m here,” Wei Ying said. Lan Wangji felt a hand smooth over his hair and he sighed happily again.
“What did you do to him?” someone demanded.
“I don’t know!” Lan Wangji heard someone protest. Someone he didn’t like, some annoying little worm…
Lan Wangji heard Wei Ying laugh. “Shhh, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying murmured. “Everyone can hear you.”
Wei Ying’s voice was so lovely. He was so warm and comfortable. Lan Wangji opened his eyes so he could look up at him. Wei Ying’s hair hung over his shoulder, his red ribbon a vivid slash in the black of his hair. Lan Wangji caught it in his hands.
“Hi,” he said, to Wei Ying.
“Hi,” Wei Ying said, in reply and smiled one of those radiant smiles down at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji felt so warm and fuzzy and nice.
“I’m playing nice,” he told Wei Ying.
“Oh,” Wei Ying asked, laughing again. “Is that what this is?”
“I’ve caught you,” Lan Wangji said, tugging on Wei Ying’s hair ribbon. “I’ve caught you- that means…” he trailed off. “I don’t remember,” he said, finally. “It means something.”
“Let me know when you figure it out,” Wei Ying said. “Come on.” He tried to pull Lan Wangji to his feet, but Lan Wangji didn’t want to leave the warmth of Wei Ying’s arms.
“No,” Lan Wangji said. “Comfortable.”
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in your bed?” Wei Ying asked.
“No,” Lan Wangji said, pouting. “Want to stay with Wei Ying.”
“Wangji,” another voice interrupted. Brother. “Wangji, go with Wei-gongzi.”
“No,” Lan Wangji said, batting away brother’s hand.
“Come on,” Wei Ying said, again. “We’ll go together. I promise.”
“Promise?” Lan Wangji repeated. The world was spinning around him, very slowly. It was kind of pleasant. “Together?”
“Yes,” Wei Ying said.
Lan Wangji tugged on the ribbon, then frowned. It was the wrong color. The ribbon shouldn’t be red. “Wrong ribbon,” he said, trying to think. It should have been blue. Where was…?
“This is the ribbon I always wear,” Wei Ying said.
“No,” Lan Wangji said. “Blue ribbon.” He frowned again and felt something on his forehead. Ah. He reached up to grab it.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying exclaimed. “What are you doing?”
“Wangji!” Brother said, on Lan Wangji’s other side. He felt someone try to take the ribbon out of his hand, but he pushed them away.
“No,’ Lan Wangji said. “Don’t want you. Only Wei Ying.” He fumbled around until he found Wei Ying’s wrist, then began to tie his ribbon around it.
“Lan Zhan! What are you doing?” Wei Ying exclaimed again, trying to pull back his hand.
“Promise,” Lan Wangji said. “Together.”
He wrapped the forehead ribbon around his own wrist, then struggled to straighten up, Wei Ying wrapping an arm around him to help him.
He looked fuzzily into Wei Ying’s face. Wei Ying looked… horrified.
Lan Wangji pulled away from him. “Wei Ying,” he said. He touched Wei Ying’s face with his unbound hand, traced the lower curve of Wei Ying’s lip. “Wei Ying,” he said again. “Wei Ying doesn’t want… Wei Ying doesn’t want Lan Zhan?”
He thought he might cry. He hadn’t cried in such a long time. It seemed so strange, crying.
“What?” Wei Ying said. “Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying brushed the tear away from Lan Wangji’s eye. “Lan Zhan, you’re drunk. You can’t… Lan Zhan! Stop crying!”
Wei Ying wrapped his unbound arm around Lan Wangji and pressed their cheeks together. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he murmured in Lan Wangji’s ear. “Of course I want you,” he said. “Of course I do.”
Lan Wangji pushed him back until he could look into his face. “Wei Ying wants Lan Zhan?” he asked. He grabbed Wei Ying’s perfect round cheeks in his hands and got distracted for a moment by how full they were and how nice they were to squish.
Squish, squish, squish.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, through his squished mouth. “Please stop.”
Lan Wangji’s face fell again and he dropped his hands. “Wei Ying doesn’t want Lan Zhan,” he whined, beginning to sniff again.
“No!” Wei Ying cried, grabbing Lan Wangji’s hands. “Wei Ying doesn’t want you to squish his- my- cheeks anymore. But I want you. Lan Zhan, Wei Ying wants Lan Zhan. I do, I do, I promise I do.”
“Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to get a room,” a dry voice cut in.
“Wei Wuxian wants Jiang Cheng to shove off,” Wei Ying said, not looking away from Lan Wangji.
“Lan Zhan, gege,” Wei Ying murmured. “Beautiful Lan Zhan, ah, let’s go to your room? Wei Ying will go with you, I promise. We can talk about it in your room.”
Lan Wangji pouted up at Wei Ying. “Lan Zhan wants to kiss Wei Ying,” he said.
“If we go to your room I will kiss you,” Wei Ying promised.
“No,” Lan Wangji pouted. “Now.” He grabbed Wei Ying’s face again and smooshed his mouth against his, so hard that their teeth clacked together.
Wei Ying pulled his head back so their lips slid together, and Lan Wangji pressed into him harder and harder until Wei Ying fell over backward, Lan Wangji on top of him, straddling him, and pressing him into the ground.
Hands grabbed at Lan Wangji and pulled him off of Wei Ying and in a moment Lan Wangji had Bichen out and was standing over Wei Ying, slicing out at anyone who tried to touch him.
Wei Ying grabbed Lan Wangji’s unbound wrist, the wrist holding his sword, and pulled himself to his feet.
“Lan Zhan!” he cried. “You can’t… you can’t hurt anyone. Promise me, gege? Promise me you won’t hurt anyone.”
Lan Wangji looked at the people surrounding them. Stupid political people.
“They don’t want me to have Wei Ying,” he growled.
“They don’t get a say,” Wei Ying said, moving so he was standing in front of Lan Wangji, blocking his sight of them. “Come on, gege, come with me. They can’t do anything if we leave.” He tugged Lan Wangji towards the door, walking backward, people quickly getting out of the way until Lan Wangji was tripping over the threshold and down the stairs.
“I wish I wasn’t so weak now,” Wei Ying muttered. “This would be easier if I could just carry you.”
“Carry?” Lan Wangji asked. He sheathed Bichen and swept Wei Ying into his arms. He stumbled down a few steps.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying yelled. “Put me down before you drop me!”
“Would never drop Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, staggering down a few more steps.
Wei Ying sighed. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, Lan Zhan- bring me to your room.”
Lan Wangji stumbled down the steps, almost losing his footing, then looked around.
“Where?” he asked.
“Let me down, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. “Please, Lan Zhan? Let me down? The sooner we get to your rooms the sooner you can kiss me.”
Kissing Wei Ying! How had Lan Wangji forgotten that that was the most important thing right now? He lifted Wei Ying in his arms and lowered his head. The kissing was better now. He was definitely getting better at it. Wei Ying made a soft sound beneath his lips.
“Please,” he murmured into Lan Wangji’s mouth. “Please, Lan Zhan, let’s go to your rooms.”
“Kiss Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Ying turned his face away. “I won’t,” he said. “I won’t kiss you anymore until you put me down and we go to your rooms.”
“Wei Ying is angry,” Lan Wangji said sadly. He let Wei Ying fall to his feet.
“No, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, wrapping both of his hands around Lan Wangji’s. “I’m not angry. I’m not angry at Lan Zhan. Wei Ying wants Lan Zhan to bring him to your room.”
He turned Lan Wangji’s face so it was looking at him. “Can you do that, gege? Can you be a good boy and take Wei Ying to your room? Then you can kiss Wei Ying as much as you want.”
“Wei Ying wants…” Lan Wangji began.
“Yes? What does Wei Ying want?” Wei Ying prompted, moving his hands to Lan Wangji’s shoulder.
Lan Wangji felt the pull of the ribbon.
“Promise,” he said. “Together.”
“Yes,” Wei Ying said. “I promise, we’ll go together, to your rooms.”
“Wei Ying will stay with Lan Zhan,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Ying hesitated, then nodded. “Yes,” he said.
“Always,” Lan Wangji said. “Wei Ying will stay with Lan Zhan always?”
Wei Ying’s face looked pinched. He looked like he was about to start crying.
“Yes,” Wei Ying said. “Yes, Wei Ying will always stay with Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji nodded, finally, and grabbed Wei Ying’s wrist, pulling him towards his room.
Lan Wangji woke to blurry memories. Wei Ying’s beautiful eyes looking into his, Wei Ying’s perfect mouth so soft and wet, Wei Ying saying, “Wei Ying will always stay with Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying…
He sat up abruptly or tried to- his wrist was tied to something He blinked his eyes, trying to clear them.
He felt miserable- his head pounded, his eyes burned, his mouth felt like something had crawled into it and died, and his skin felt tacky, like it was covered in dried sweat.
Something groaned, very very close by. With horror, Lan Zhan turned to see Wei Ying sprawled out on the bed beside him, stripped down to just his trousers. For a moment the sight distracted him- Wei Ying’s beautiful chest, too thin, scarred here and there, bruises scattered about his chest, his neck marked with bruises and teeth marks.
And then he realized he too, was only wearing his trousers, that their wrists were tied together, that their hair was unbound…
“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan exclaimed.
Wei Ying’s eyes opened and he blinked up at Lan Zhan. “Too loud,” he complained. “Lan Zhan…” But then he lifted his head. “Lan Zhan! You’re awake.”
“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan repeated. “What happened? What are you doing here?”
“What am I…?” Wei Ying asked, his eyes widening. “Lan Zhan! You don’t remember!”
“If I remembered,” Lan Wangji said, trying to stand up again, “I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Oh, heavens,” Wei Wuxian said, rubbing his own forehead, the ribbon wrapped around his wrist pulling them closer. “I need a drink.”
“Untie us!” Lan Wangji demanded.
“I can’t!” Wei Wuxian said, turning red.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Lan Wangji asked, his voice rising to almost a shout.
“You did something,” Wei Wuxian said. “When you tied it. I don’t know what, but I can’t undo it.”
“I did?” Lan Wangji repeated, incredulously.
Wei Wuxian raised his shoulders and lowered his head as if he was trying to make himself seem smaller. “Yeah,” he said. “You drink a cup of wine- I tried to stop you, but I didn’t get there in time! And then you…”
“What did I do?” Lan Wangji, horror filling his heart.
“You…” Wei Wuxian laughed. “You… you tied our wrists together,” he said. “In front of everyone.”
“Everyone?” Lan Wangji repeated, his ears beginning to turn red.
“Mn,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m sorry! I tried to stop you!”
“What else?” Lan Wangji asked.
“What else?” Wei Wuxian repeated, not meeting Lan Wangji’s eyes.
“What else did I do?” Lan Wangji demanded.
“Ah! Someday this will all seem very funny, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji exclaimed.
“You asked me if I wanted you,” Wei Wuxian mumbled, growing red. “You started crying when you thought I didn’t want you. You… you kissed me! In front of everyone! I’m so sorry, Lan Zhan! I kept trying to get you to go to your room, but you’re so much stronger than me, and when anyone else tried to interfere you attacked them with Bichen.”
“In front of everyone?” Lan Wangji asked, covering his face with his hands.
“Yes,” Wei Wuxian said. “You picked me up and tried to carry me to your room,” he said. “You made me promise to stay with you.”
“What did I do?” Lan Wangji asked. “Wei Ying, when we got to my room what did I do?”
Wei Wuxian laughed, nervously. “Oh, we just kissed some more,” he said. “Don’t worry- we didn’t do anything.”
Lan Wangji stared at him. “Why are we only in our trousers?” he demanded.
“You didn’t want to sleep in your robes,” Wei Wuxian said, growing a little red. “Or me- so you tore them off.”
“I tore…” Lan Wangji said, slowly, now taking in the shredded robes.
“Because of the forehead ribbon,” Wei Wuxian said, holding up his wrist. The movement tugged the ribbon wrapping Lan Wangji’s wrist. “You wanted to take them off but you got… frustrated.”
“I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji said. “I’ll compensate you for the robes.”
He looked back at Wei Wuxian, his eyes catching on the bruises on Wei Wuxian’s neck.
“What happened to you?” he asked, his fingers skimming over a particularly nasty-looking one at the base of Wei Wuxian’s neck.
“Oh,” Wei Wuxian said, wincing.
Lan Wangji pulled his fingers back quickly.
“Is that a… bite mark?” he asked. “Who bit… Wei Ying did I…?”
Lan Wangji couldn’t quite ignore the heat that rose under the embarrassment. He shifted a little, hoped his trousers were loose enough…
Wei Wuxian laughed nervously. “It’s okay,” he said. “It looks worse than it is. I think. I don’t know what it looks like. But judging by your expression...”
“You said just kissing,” Lan Wangji accused.
“I… pretty aggressive kissing,” Wei Wuxian admitted, blushing crimson.
“Why haven’t they healed yet?” Lan Wangji asked.
“Oh,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m… my spiritual energy is a little depleted.” He laughed nervously again. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, but Lan Zhan reached out and stroked the bruise, letting a little trickle of spiritual energy pass from his skin to Wei Wuxian’s.
Wei Wuxian shivered, his mouth falling open a little, his pupils dilating. “Lan Zhan,” he breathed.
Lan Wangji ignored him, brushing his fingers against every bruise he could see, until Wei Ying’s skin was smooth and perfect, except for the scars.
“I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji said, trying to ignore Wei Wuxian’s reaction, the trembling in his fingers, the hardening between his legs. “I shouldn’t have treated you like this. It is unforgivable.”
“What?” Wei Wuxian asked. “No, Lan Zhan, don’t…”
“I shouldn’t have drunk the wine,” Lan Wangji said. “I apologize for involving you.”
“No,” Wei Wuxian said, catching his hand. “Lan Zhan, you didn’t… I… I wouldn’t want you to have suffered alone.”
“I kissed you!” Lan Wangji exclaimed. “I bit you!”
“Ah, it wasn’t that… unpleasant,” Wei Wuxian said, rubbing his neck, at the healed skin. “Only… I’m afraid,” he said, finally. “I’m afraid everyone knows. They all saw you… me… I wouldn’t be surprised if Jiang Cheng calls you out. And maybe Jin Zixun, since you called him an annoying little worm.” He swallowed. “They’ll… they’ll know we spent the night together too.”
Wei Wuxian was blushing, his cheeks red. The blush, Lan Wangji could see, spread across his chest. He tore his eyes away.
“This is my fault,” Lan Wangji said, trying to focus on the ribbon, trying to figure out how he’d made it so well knotted. “If I wasn’t trying to be political…”
“Why were you?” Wei Wuxian asked. “It’s not like you.”
“The Jin sect,” Lan Wangji said, finally managing to undo the ribbon. “Has non-combatants in their war prisoner camps. I’ve been trying to remove them and resettle them, but I need the cooperation of the Jins to do so.”
He stood up and collected his shredded robes from where they’d been seemingly tossed around the room, considered them, then stuffed them in a qiankun bag. Fortunately, he’d packed for a few weeks on the road, so he had a few spare sets of robes. He took out one set for himself, then hesitated and handed another to Wei Wuxian, who considered his own destroyed robes and then shrugged and began to dress in Lan Wangji’s.
“So when Jin Zixun offered you the wine you didn't think you could refuse,” Wei Wuxian said.
“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, beginning to tie on the clean robes. Wei Wuxian was dressing on the other side of the room, and Lan Wangji felt a small pang of loss as his chest was hidden from view.
Wei Wuxian laughed, ironically, fumbling with the unfamiliar belt. Lan Wangji’s breath caught to see him dressed in Lan colors, to see the Lan clouds swirling down his chest.
“And then you called Jin Zixun an ‘annoying little worm’ and proceeded to make out with me in the middle of the banquet and then threatened to kill anyone who tried to stop you,” he said.
“Oh,” Lan Wangji said, sitting down heavily. “That was not playing nice.”
“No,” Wei Wuxian said. He gave up on the belt and knelt before Lan Wangji, taking his hand. “I’ll help you fix it, Lan Zhan,” he said. “I didn’t know there were non-combatants among the war prisoners. I wish you’d asked me to come help.”
“You were busy rebuilding Lotus Pier,” Lan Wangji said, not mentioning how unpleasant their last conversation had gone, how Wei Wuxian had accused him of not trusting him, how it had felt like they’d never be on good terms again.
“Mn,” Wei Wuxian sighed.
“How?” Lan Wangji asked. “How can we fix it?”
“Ah…” Wei Wuxian sighed again. He let go of Lan Wangji’s hand and sat back, finding a comb in his sleeve and beginning to comb out his hair. Lan Wangji wondered how it had gotten so tangled, but then remembered that they’d woken up half-naked in the same bed and felt himself flushing again.
“You’re not going to like it,” Wei Wuxian said. “You can… if you… You pretend to be madly in love with me.” He rubbed his wrist, which was striped with red lines. From Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon.
Lan Wangji took his comb from his qiankun bag and began to do his own hair, flicking the forelocks into his face to hide his embarrassment.
“Apologize to everyone for making such an out-of-control declaration of love,” Wei Wuxian continued. “Ask Jiang Cheng for my hand in marriage.”
Lan Wangji whirled around to face him. “What?!” he demanded.
Wei Wuxian shifted nervously. “It can’t be helped, Lan Zhan,” he said. “You tied us together with your forehead ribbon in front of everyone! You pinned me down and kissed me! You made me say that I wanted you!”
Lan Wangji turned away, and shook his head, which was a mistake; it felt like it was filled with heavy balls, crashing against each other and the side of his skull.
“It’s not your responsibility,” Lan Wangji said. “You should not be punished for my mistakes.”
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “You think so badly of yourself that you think being married to you would be punishment!? The Second Jade of the Lan? An unparalleled young master?”
“A rigid, boring, pedantic…” Lan Wangji began.
Wei Wuxian snorted. “Don’t quote me to me. It’s so boring. Anyway, Lan Zhan, you have to take responsibility. After that public scene, I spent the night in your rooms. People will think… you know… Look at me!” he said, gesturing to the robes he was wearing. “What will people think when they see me dressed like this?”
He tied the red ribbon around his ponytail, vivid when contrasted with the light blues and whites of the Lan robed.
“I will take responsibility,” Lan Wangji said, taking the belt Wei Wuxian had discarded and wrapping it around his thin waist. Wei Wuxian was a little taller than him, but not enough that the robes were indecently short, but he was thinner than Lan Wangji by enough that the belt hung too loosely on his thin waist. He needed to eat more, Lan Wangji thought, getting out the small sewing kit he kept in his qiankun bag and basting a tuck into the back of the belt so it wouldn’t hang loosely. Wei Wuxian watched in uncharacteristic silence, holding his arms out so he could fit and tie the belt.
“It won’t be a punishment,” Wei Wuxian murmured, as Lan Wangji began to tie the belt on. He looked over up, and suddenly Wei Wuxian’s face was right there, looking at Lan Wangji over his shoulder. “It won’t be a punishment,” he repeated. “Being married to you. Lan Zhan. You’re so kind and beautiful and good.” He smiled and turned, the ties of the belt falling from Lan Wangji’s nerveless fingers.
“Anyway,” he said. “I promised you I would always be with you.”
“I was drunk,” Lan Wangji said, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.
Wei Wuxian wound his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulder. “But I wasn’t,” Wei Wuxian said. “Lan Zhan, what am I to you?”
For a moment, Lan Wangji’s breath caught in his throat, but Wei Wuxian was right there, wide-eyed and serious. “Everything,” he whispered, finally. “Wei Ying. Everything.”
Wei Wuxian’s face broke out into a smile and he closed the distance between them.