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Okay, imma write another thread fic. This one is kind of a sequel to my fic ‘Eat the Rich (Start With Me)’ but I’ll just summarize it if you don’t want to read it:
So basically Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are grad students, Lan Zhan in classic lit and Wei Ying in physics and omg they were roommates which is pretty stressful for Lan Zhan because Wei Ying is HOT and likes to wear, you know, little booty shorts.
But Wei Ying also has basically no money living off the measly grad stipend which is laughable. Lan Zhan is from ye olde money and is appalled at Wei Ying’s lack of cash and also Wei Ying is super absent-minded and keeps eating Lan Zhan’s food etc and Lan Zhan discovers that this kinda turns him on.
So Lan Zhan keeps finding sneaky ways of providing for Wei Ying and then trying (and failing) not to masturbate to it, like sneaking new clothes into his mess of a room and lying to him about how much the utilities are and buying a PS5 and pretending it’s for him etc etc etc.
Eventually Wei Ying discovers his research stipend is being cut off and Lan Zhan freaks out and admits the whole thing to his brother in Wei Ying’s earshot and Wei Ying is like ‘I’m a little miffed that you lied to me etc etc etc but I guess I’m in to it if it’s a sex thing.’
So that’s where the fic leaves off. Here’s the thing; Wei Ying thinks this is a sugar daddy thing and Lan Zhan is like ‘I don’t know what that is’ because he’s really sheltered and a bebe (I know this is unrealistic for lit majors just roll with me). So he just agrees with Wei Ying because he wants him however he can get him, and then they make out etc etc and then Wei Ying actually has to do something about losing his research stipend because he’s now more or less chill about Lan Zhan paying for food but not his tuition.
(He gets a job working in the library, helping students with their statistics and coding so it’s all chill). Meanwhile Lan Zhan is like ‘okay, now I gotta find out what a sugar daddy is because Wei Ying is going to expect me to do whatever it is.’
And, like, you and I both know that sugar daddies come in all dynamics etc etc but like the trope is kind of a dom top thing, and this is what our bebe finds out when he does research and now he’s like ‘oh no, Wei Ying is gonna expect me to be a dom now?’
But if that’s what Wei Ying wants, that’s what Wei Ying is gonna get. Lan Zhan is gonna be the best dom top he can be. Even though Lan Zhan really just wants to sweetly kiss and cuddle Wei Ying and bring him breakfast in bed and feed him enough that his arms no longer look like thin little twigs. And *maybe* when he had sex fantasies he always imagined himself being on bottom? But it’s fine, it’s fine, this is what Wei Ying wants. Lan Zhan is gonna give him whatever he wants.
So he does research and research and research and makes a few purchases.
Meanwhile Wei Ying is kinda freaking out. Cause he talked the talk but never walked the walk. Like there have been some sad handjobs in his past but he never you know. And he’s been listening to Huaisang too much who has this theory that Lan Zhan is so quiet and repressed that he’s probably a monster in the sack. And we’ve all had the same thought, let’s not lie. But Wei Ying, well his preferred porn is that homemade stuff that’s just couples having sweet vanilla sex.
But he really likes Lan Zhan. Like he hasn’t been walking around in booty shorts all these months for the fun of it. They ride up. They’re all up in his crack. And not in a good way. But the first time Lan Zhan saw him wearing them he stopped breathing for like a whole minute and then went and hid in his room.
And there hadn’t even been anything in there!
Lan Zhan is hot like Wei Ying hasn’t gotten to see as much of his body as he’d like, but what he’s seen has been tasty.
And he’s so nice. He’s so nice he makes Wei Ying want to cry sometimes. Like how he makes Wei Ying breakfast and pretends he didn’t. And the whole coffee thing. And the PS5 thing. And the winter clothes.
The point is he thinks he’d do anything for Lan Zhan. So if he’s into kinky sex, Wei Ying could be into it as well. It makes him nervous and hyperventilate a little, but he trusts Lan Zhan, really trusts him.
He feels so safe when he’s with Lan Zhan. He feels like hasn’t felt since he was little, before his parents died, like he’s all wrapped up safe and warm and nothing can come for him.
Like he’s home.
He spends all day on campus getting his shit figured out. It's going to be a lot more work having to do the library job and his research but he’s actually kind of excited about the library job and it’s way better than being on the streets or having to ask Aunt Yu for money.
When he gets home he discovers Lan Zhan has gone all out. Cooked all the things. Lit candles. Bought candles to light. There’s a centerpiece of roses. There’s champagne. There are champagne glasses. Wei Ying thinks he may have bought new dishes just for this occasion. Or maybe not. Wei Ying has never been the most observant person. The point is there’s like a tablecloth and a fancy spread of food and everything.
Lan Zhan looks up from where he’s putting a dish on the table when Wei Ying comes in and begins the arduous process of taking off all his winter things (that Lan Zhan had lied about buying him) and he comes to the little entryway of their apartment and watches as Wei Ying hangs up his coat and puts his gloves and hat in the little basket Lan Zhan had bought for that purpose and unwinds himself from his scarf and unties and shucks off his boots.
And then they just… look at each other because they’re still not… you know they only made out once and do… do they just go up and kiss each other?
Wei Ying isn’t a coward but…
Okay he kind of is.
So he says, jokingly ‘hi, honey I’m home,’ and Lan Zhan does that adorable thing where his ears turn red and he ducks his head and he says ‘hi, honey’.
And yeah that clears up the tension somewhat because Wei Ying can’t not kiss him now that he’s being so friggin cute.
So he winds his arms around his neck and he says again, much more closely ‘hi honey’ and he’s just going in for a peck but Lan Zhan wraps his arms around him and pulls him in and now they’re full on making out in the hallway which is awesome.
But Wei Ying is starving and Lan Zhan makes a lot of food and so he breaks off and says ‘did you cook?’ And Lan Zhan says ‘…. Yeah….’ All shy and cute and Wei Ying would kiss him again but he knows where that would lead so he goes to the table and exclaims over everything and says
‘Oh you didn’t have to’.
And Lan Zhan ducks his head and turns pink again and says ‘I wanted to’ and oh Wei Ying could eat him up, he's so cute.
So they eat and it’s still all a little awkward and so Wei Ying tells him all about the library job and the paperwork he had to fill out and even talks about his research a little which he doesn’t usually like doing because it’s so fucking obscure- like Lan Zhan isn’t stupid or anything but the backstory of his research is a lot, and there are so many terms and things and he usually just doesn’t get into it.
But he’s so nervous and Lan Zhan is so nervous before he knows it he’s babbling about (insert some physics terms here I am a biologist I know nothing). Anyway.
Then Lan Zhan is serving the cutest little strawberry cakes for dessert omg how is this person even real and how does he want Wei Ying?
like Wei Ying knows he’s the whole package, smart, funny, tall, handsome etc etc but I mean Lan Zhan exists and he wants to provide for Wei Ying and wow. It’s so. Wow.
So they have their strawberry cakes and Wei Ying is a little bit fuzzy on champagne but remember how Lan Zhan was doing lots and lots of research?
Well, if you’ve read the fanfics that I have you’ll have gotten the impression that people in the hard kink scene have like contracts and like lists of things they are and are not into. Now maybe actual people in the actual kink world don’t do this. I don’t know. Look, I’m just a biologist who knows a lot about animal dicks, but remember our little bebe Lan Zhan ALSO doesn’t know so I feel confident saying that he’s gotten his hands on some of these documents and printed them out (because he’s the type of nerd who owns a printer).
And so he’s trying to work up the courage to be like: if we want to do this sugar daddy thing we need to do some groundwork.
And he’s not wrong! All kinds of relationships require clear and honest communication! Not the forte of these two, to be honest. If it was, the story would be ‘they met & they got married & had a dozen children, the end’ so it’s not like we can be mad at them for it.
So Lan Zhan’s just listening to Wei Ying babble away at– ?quantum entanglement? Fluid dynamics? Idk insert your fav physics term here– and he’s got these documents burning a hole in his metaphorical pocket. (Obviously they’re not in his actual pocket because he’s not a heathen who folds up important paperwork- they’re neatly stowed in one of those nice covers fancy people turn reports in in.)
But, like, they’re on his mind and he should bring them up and he doesn’t know how to and Wei Ying is clearly running out of random physics terms to talk about, so Lan Zhan is psyching himself to say something like ‘we should talk about things’ when Wei Ying says ‘…..so….. sugar daddy…’ and he gets up and pulls himself onto Lan Zhan’s lap.
It should be noted at this point that most of the furnishings in the apartment had come with the apartment and, thus, were of unknown origin but were certainly old and poorly cared for. This was alarming to Lan Zhan, who would have replaced them, if the rental company had allowed it.
Had he been a rule breaker what followed would not have happened. Lan Zhan would have purchased sturdy, well built chairs, the kind you inherit from your grandparents and pass on to your grandchildren. (If you are, like Lan Zhan, of ye olde money).
Those chairs would not have collapsed under the weight of two people I have been disgracefully been referring to as ‘bebes’, but who are, in fact, six foot tall men.
First there was a creak. Then there was a crack. Then the two boys- I mean young men- were tipping over sideways holding on to each other for dear life.
Lan Zhan grabbed onto Wei Ying and tried to protect him as he fell.
Alas! He was just a lit grad student studying Ming dynasty poetry, not a superhero! No amount of built up pining and sincere affection for Wei Ying could give him the super human abilities it would have taken to protect Wei Ying’s skull from contacting the side of the table!
A moment later they were both sprawled on the floor, and Wei Ying was, not surprisingly, giggling hysterically.
‘Wei Ying!’ Lan Zhan cried, ‘are you okay?’
He palpated Wei Ying’s scalp and Wei Ying winced and his hands came away bloody.
‘I’m fine,’ Wei Ying said, like we all knew he would. ‘I just need some painkillers. That will be the only time I ever try seducing someone..’
‘No!’ Lan Zhan said, too loudly. Wei Ying winced and Lan Zhan lowered his voice. ‘Please don’t give up on trying to seduce me,’ Lan Zhan continued.
Wei Ying laughed and then winced.
Then Lan Zhan called the ambulance and made a sad pouting face when Wei Ying tried to protest because Lan Zhan is not above being cute when he needs to be and he is also a younger brother, let us never forget.
When he saw the pouting face, Wei Ying was stunned and overcome…
By jealousy.
‘Lan zhaaaaaaaaan!’he cried. ‘I’m supposed to be the cute pouty one in this relationship!’
Lan Zhan was still pouting. ‘You don’t think I’m cute?’ he asked.
‘Omg’ Wei Ying whined. ‘How can you even do this to me when I have a concussion?’
Anyway they compromised and Lan Zhan drove Wei Ying to the hospital and then they waited like five hours for the doctor to talk to them for like ten minutes, insert complaints about the state of health care in the US is.
I guess they’re in the US, by the way.
So they’re waiting in the emergency room and Lan Zhan is fading fast because he’s a bebe who has a hard bedtime of 9 pm even though it’s the 21st century and so Wei Ying talks him into sharing the hospital bed with him, and Wei Ying cuddles against his chest
And Lan Zhan has a lot of feels about this because he’s finally cuddling with Wei Ying which is basically his dream but Wei Ying is injured and it’s his fault for not sticking it to the man and just buying more reliable furniture
Wei Ying has a lot of feels, too but they’re mostly about how much his head hurts and the fact that all this cuddling is making him a little horny but the emergency room is not a sexy place no matter what medical dramas would try to have you believe.
Anyway, the doctor finally diagnoses him with a mild concussion and sends them home and Wei Ying is like ‘but Lan Zhan I was so comfy cuddling with you!’ So instead of sleeping apart, they sleep in Lan Zhan’s very comfortable bed, because he was able to furnish his room himself (I don’t know how any of this works).
Anyway it turns out that when you have a mild concussion life is very boring and you can’t do anything interesting like the internet or physics and Wei Ying is very lucky for his long term neurological health that Lan Zhan was there to hear the doctor’s recommendations and to write them down very seriously in the notes app of his phone, so he uses his very effective pouting face to make Wei Ying follow the doctor’s orders which are basically ‘spend a few days doing literally nothing’ something Wei Ying is very very bad at.
Please note that I am a biologist who specializes in animal dicks and not neuroscience and know very little about concussions as they do not usually happen in the groin area, so this may not actually be what you’re supposed to do for this condition. (An aside– there are animals that have their genitals on their heads, like the priapium fish, but this is not terribly common).
Luckily Lan Zhan is very good at being quiet and patient and pouting until he gets his way.
Wei Ying tries to avoid having the pouting work on him by looking away, but he can’t look away from Lan Zhan for very long (and who can blame him?).
So Lan Zhan keeps Wei Ying occupied by reading him poetry from the Ming dynasty and talking to him and listening to him blather on about physics and his childhood and everything else he can think of.
And there are a lot of cuddly naps and Lan Zhan brings Wei Ying comfort food.
And oh!
His little domestic heart is very full! Taking care of Wei Ying and listening to him and cuddling with him are all he really wants out of life (besides a career in academia studying Ming dynasty poetry, a close relationship with his family, organic fair-trade whole foods and maybe a volunteer stint at a local animal sanctuary.
And, you know, sex, a topic which has not been brought up since…
Oh wait, they never talked about sex. Right.
So this goes on for a while and the restrictions on Wei Ying ease up a little but they still keep sleeping in the same bed and not talking about sex because, you know, they’re them, but they do start making out and making out leads to genital stimulation, and genital stimulation leads to emissions of seminal fluids and it’s very satisfying for both of them but they’re both a little worried that it’s not satisfying for the other.
Like it was just some dry humping. It’s like they’re teenagers, except neither of them did that then.
And Lan Zhan has those printouts on his desk still in their professional looking folder, with the list of kinks that doesn’t include his kinks which are ‘lovingly kiss and compliment every inch of your partner’s body’ and ‘gaze into his eyes until you feel so full of love you can’t breathe’ and ‘make sure he is well fed and well rested and bring him snacks and tea while he is studying and drive him to school when it is cold out and make sure he doesn’t forget his umbrella when there is a chance of rain’ and ‘have gentle, sweet, slow sex until you feel like you’re going to die of happiness’.
So.
Wei Ying still thinks that Lan Zhan wants rougher, more dominating sex because that’s what Huaisang says and Huaisang knows everything even though he pretends not to and also that’s the whole sugar daddy thing, right?
And Wei Ying, with two disappointing handjobs in gross bathrooms under his belt, thinks he is more sexually experienced than Lan Zhan (and like he is but not by a lot).
So he thinks maybe Lan Zhan just needs encouragement, so he starts saying things like ‘hold me down and don’t you want to punish me for sneaking in some Twitter time when I was supposed to be abstaining from screens while I was recovering from my concussion.’
And Lan Zhan doesn’t, he really doesn’t. But Wei Ying wants him to. What is he supposed to do?!?!?
So he’s like ‘how do you want me to punish you?’ and Wei Ying is like ‘you could spank me’ and he waggles his adorable butt in the air and so Lan Zhan takes a swat at it and Wei Ying makes a kind of whiny ‘ow’ sound and Lan Zhan just starts crying.
Not like graceful movie star one tear trickling down his face crying but snuffling snorting snotty crying and he’s saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ and Wei Ying is hugging him and rubbing his back and saying ‘it’s okay, it’s okay, baby’ and the Lan Zhan is apologizing and saying that he’s never going to be the sexual partner Wei Ying wants because he just doesn’t want the same things he just wants to be held and make sure Wei Ying has clean laundry maybe.
And of course Wei Ying starts laughing and he confesses that he had the wrong end of the stick himself.
And then they’re kissing again and it’s wet and sticky because of the tears and the snot and they’re holding each other and it’s all very sweet and exactly what they both want.
And later when they have sex, Lan Zhan kisses Wei Ying all over and tells him ‘I love you between every kiss’ and Wei Ying kisses Lan Zhan all over and ridiculously compliments his body parts like ‘this is the most adorable ear in the history of all ears’ and ‘goddesses weep over the elegance of your hips’ and ‘your skin is more smooth than should be physically possible, trust me, I’m a physicist I should know’ and it takes them weeks and weeks to work up to penis in butt sex because they’re so careful.
And it’s very sweet and soft and wonderful and one day Wei Ying finds the list of kinks and thinks it’s hilarious and Lan Zhan blushes sweetly and then they have the softest vanilla sex ever over it and they’re very happy.
And of course Wei Ying is still a chaotic gremlin who is always banging into things and getting bruises and so he’s always rubbing at them and winking and making allusions to the very kinky sex he pretends they’re having just to mess with Huaisang and to gross Jiang Cheng out.
And Wei Ying and Lan Zhan never have any misunderstandings ever again, jk lol of course they do, they’re such sweet little idiots.
The end.