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Zhongli ladled a portion of soup into the waiting dish, meticulously arranging the meat and vegetables in the broth before adding some garnish. Cooking was an art form in its own right, and Zhongli was pleased at the rich colors he had drawn out of the ingredients. While he had only limited experience with Snezhnayan cuisine, he was doing his best to recreate one of the staples of Childe’s homeland, and he hoped Childe would approve of his attempt.
Childe had been reminiscing about his home and family more often, and Zhongli worried he was homesick. It had been quite some time since Childe’s last trip to Snezhnaya, and if not for the eggs, Zhongli was sure his mate would have made plans to visit home soon. Childe routinely exchanged letters with his family, but it was clear he missed his parents and siblings dearly. When the spaces cut into one’s heart took on the shapes of absent loved ones, there were no easy substitutes, though Zhongli wished he could provide some comfort to his mate.
It didn’t help that Zhongli was more hesitant than ever to put his hands on Childe. Ever since he had mated with Childe in his partial transformation, his body and behavior had become worryingly erratic any time they were intimate. Now that he knew what it was like being with Childe in that way, his instincts were fixated on chasing that feeling, even as the rational part of his mind clung to the bitter memory of Childe in pain, his body ill-prepared for Zhongli’s rough treatment. Zhongli was afraid to lose control again, but the more he attempted to contain his urges, the more violent they became when they broke free of his hold. Childe had been overly patient with him so far as he struggled with his instincts, but Zhongli knew Childe needed more release than he was getting.
Zhongli sighed in frustration. All he wanted was to enjoy time with his mate before the eggs hatched, but his own body was conspiring against him. He and Childe were two halves of a whole, so why didn’t they fit together like they should?
He carried the dish of food to the spare room Childe was converting into a nursery. Childe had decided to focus on preparing for the children, and Zhongli was glad his mate was distracting himself. Childe had put significant thought into new furnishings and supplies, and the nursery was starting to look cozy with a comfortable rocking chair in one corner and pillows and blankets piled on the plush rug where the cribs would eventually go. He was taking his duties as a father-to-be seriously, and Zhongli was proud of his capable mate.
Zhongli found Childe deep in concentration as he stocked the newly purchased chest of drawers. He was working his way through a stack of towels, folding them and storing them in an open drawer, an oddly intense look on his face. It was the same fierce expression he wore on the battlefield, and Zhongli wondered if he was thinking about his work or some recent exploit. At Zhongli’s approach, his head snapped up and his countenance shifted, melting into something so soft it made Zhongli’s heart flutter.
“What do you think so far?” Childe asked, nodding at the rest of the room. “Is this up to your standards?”
“You have done quite well.” He held out the dish. “You must be hungry from all your hard work.”
He smiled. “Is it already lunch time?” he asked, walking over to examine the food. “I thought it smelled like borsch.” He laughed. “Are you trying to comfort me or make me homesick? Because I’m afraid this is just going to make me want my mother’s cooking.”
Zhongli frowned. “I thought you might appreciate a taste of home.”
“I wasn’t trying to sound ungrateful,” Childe said. He kissed Zhongli’s cheek. “It looks good.” He raised an eyebrow. “Want to feed it to me?”
He was probably joking, but Zhongli nodded anyway. “If you would like.”
“Really?” Childe asked, laughing.
Zhongli settled onto the floor, mindful not to spill anything. He scooped up a potato, letting broth pool in the spoon. Childe sat down beside him, face stained a delicate red. Zhongli guided the spoon into his mouth, watching in interest as Childe’s lips closed around it.
“How is it?” Zhongli asked.
Childe chewed, hand hovering over his mouth. He nodded finally. “It’s good. I might need to watch out. Snezhnayan cuisine is just about the only place I still have you beat, but you’re going to show me up if I’m not careful.”
Zhongli readied another bite. “Not any day soon, I imagine.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you kept practicing,” Childe said. “I have been missing home lately.” He accepted the food, groaning appreciatively. “Not quite like the real thing, but I’d eat this any day.” He smiled, his eyes coming alive with genuine excitement. “I want you to visit Snezhnaya with me someday. My mother would love to cook you authentic Snezhnayan food.” He looked wistful. “I can show you where I grew up and take you ice fishing. I know it’d be hard traveling with three little ones, but…”
“We will make it happen,” Zhongli promised. He wanted to see Snezhnaya through Childe’s eyes, but more than that, he wanted to see Childe in his natural element. Zhongli loved the fondness in Childe’s eyes when he spoke of home; it would be a privilege to see Childe’s true happiness if he could be there in person.
Childe let Zhongli feed him several more spoonfuls before snatching the utensil from his grasp. “My turn to feed you now.”
Zhongli laughed. “I made this for you.”
Childe just grinned. “Open up.” He leaned in close, slipping the spoon into Zhongli’s waiting mouth. Some of the broth trickled down Zhongli’s chin, and Childe leaned in to lick it up before the red liquid could stain his clothes or the floor. He sat back, licking his lips enticingly, and Zhongli’s eyes fixed on the movement.
Zhongli swallowed, fighting down the searing flash of want that spread through his stomach. He wanted to kiss the smirk off Childe’s face and ravish him. That thought alone had his claws itching to come out, and he clenched his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms to ground himself.
“Sorry. Was that too much?” Childe asked apologetically.
Zhongli gritted his teeth. “Everything you do sets me off these days. It is not your fault.”
“But I shouldn’t tease you.” He pushed a chunk of meat idly around in the dish, lips turned down at the corners.
Frustration welled up in Zhongli’s stomach. He wanted Childe to be himself, to be playful in that vexing way of his without needing to worry about how Zhongli might react. He wanted them to be together the way they used to, but now Childe was tiptoeing around him, and he couldn’t blame Childe for his caution. Whenever Zhongli got overzealous, it was Childe who ended up with new scars.
Zhongli growled, upset at himself.
Childe looked up in alarm. “You okay?”
“Childe, I am frustrated,” he said. “We are meant to be together, but I cannot even be close to you like I want. I cannot satisfy either of our desires.”
“Easy,” Childe said placatingly. He set the dish of food aside in favor of taking Zhongli’s face in his hands. “Meant to be together, huh?” He sighed, brushing his thumbs gently over Zhongli’s cheeks. “I want you, Zhongli, but there’s so much more to our relationship than sex.” He dropped his hands. “Pretty soon, we’ll have our hands full with the kids anyway. We might not have time for each other.”
Zhongli shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want this to become their new normal, especially when it wasn’t just sex that gave him grief. Any prolonged physical intimacy spurred his dragon traits to manifest, as if his body was refusing to be with Childe as a human. He had fought through the Archon War, and he had defended Liyue against countless enemies, but for some reason he was powerless against his own instincts.
“It’s going to be okay,” Childe said, tugging on Zhongli’s hair. “We’ll figure this out.” He kissed him gently. “I’m your mate, aren’t I?”
“My precious mate,” Zhongli agreed. Childe was a force to be reckoned with—strong, willful, persistent—and even as Zhongli struggled under the weight of his own past, Childe kept him facing forward, kept him moving towards a future that had so long been out of reach. Childe was caring, attentive, playful, accepting. He was the perfect mate, and Zhongli didn’t know where he would be without him. “You are my everything, Childe. My mate, my life partner, the only one I will allow at my side from now until my life has ended. We are meant, and I want nothing more than to be with you.”
“Fuck,” Childe said roughly. He dragged Zhongli into a sudden kiss, his mouth warm and demanding, and Zhongli could hardly breathe. Childe pulled back enough to meet his gaze. “Zhongli,” he panted, “marry me?”
Zhongli stared at him for a long moment as he attempted to process Childe’s words. “Marry you?” he repeated. His blood was racing, and he couldn’t think straight. “Childe, where is this coming from?”
“You’re really going to sit there spouting off wedding vows and expect me not to say anything? The only one you’ll allow at your side. Fuck, I’m trying to hold back, but you’re making it so hard, Zhongli.”
Zhongli cocked his head. “Childe, I am sure I have said as much before. Dragons mate for life. You are the partner I have chosen, and I will never take another.”
Childe’s hands were back around his face, bringing their foreheads together. Childe’s nose rubbed softly against his, their breath mingling in the space between them. “Knew I was special to you, but damn.” He kissed him hungrily. “A lifetime commitment? That’s marriage, isn’t it? You’ll marry me, won’t you?”
Zhongli pulled back from his grasp. Childe had never voiced interest in marriage before, and Zhongli had not thought they needed such a formality. As far as he was concerned, he was already bound to Childe by a contract that transcended any cultural institution. “Childe, I have already pledged my body, my heart, my very life to you.”
Childe flushed a healthy pink. “Oh,” he said. “Well, ask me to marry you, and I’ll pledge the same.”
Zhongli’s heart swelled with love for his mate. He hadn’t thought he needed an assurance of Childe’s love and commitment, but the idea of Childe pledging himself now was everything to him. He had some knowledge of Snezhnayan marriage practices, but he hoped Childe would excuse him if his proposal was lacking in finesse.
Sitting on the floor of the unfinished nursery with a half-eaten bowl of food beside them hardly felt like the appropriate place to make a serious promise, but Zhongli took one of Childe’s hands in his own, determined to respond to Childe’s feelings. “Ajax,” he said, and Childe’s hand twitched in his grasp, Childe’s eyes widening as he sucked in shaky breath. Zhongli concentrated, focusing geo energy into a circular construct around Childe’s middle finger. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my devotion.” He brushed a thumb over the band, the stone’s warm glow just noticeable in the late-afternoon light. “I love you as I have never loved anyone before, and I want you at my side as long as fate allows. Will you marry me?”
Childe’s lips pressed against his insistently, and he responded in kind. The urge to turn into a dragon prickled at the back of his mind, but he pushed it aside, concentrating on Childe’s tongue as it licked into his mouth.
Childe bit gently at his lips. “I will marry you,” he said. “I want to belong to you.”
“You already belong to me,” Zhongli said. “Just as I belong to you.”
“But I want everyone else to know it,” Childe said. “I want to wear your ring and have people know.”
That sentiment kindled Zhongli’s possessiveness, and he licked along Childe’s jaw before mouthing at his neck. Childe already smelled like him, and Zhongli was sure any dragon or adeptus would understand Zhongli had staked his claim. But if Childe wanted to show the world he was spoken for, Zhongli was glad to assist.
Zhongli trailed kisses down Childe’s throat, nipping gently at the skin. There were still marks on Childe’s neck and collarbones from previous bites, but Zhongli found an empty space and bit down, Childe moaning sweetly in his ear. It was a good mark, the indents red and sharply defined, and Zhongli ran his thumb over the noticeable depressions in the skin. Zhongli’s own body healed too quickly to retain marks for long, but Childe’s skin was so easily stained with the lingering evidence of Zhongli’s affections.
He had an enticing vision of Childe going about his business in the harbor, Zhongli’s marks displayed under his open collar, Zhongli’s ring on his finger, an amber-eyed child in his arms. There would be no doubt who he belonged to.
“Marriage starting to sound better to you?” Childe asked, smirking.
“It has its appeal,” Zhongli agreed.
He did not resist when Childe tugged at his clothes, pulling Zhongli down on top of him as he lay back against the floor. Childe’s face was full of want, but Zhongli paused, uneasy about pinning Childe down like this. He couldn’t ignore the voice in his head that insisted, You will hurt him if you continue.
“It’s okay,” Childe said, probably sensing his discomfort. He threaded a hand into Zhongli’s hair, fingers massaging lightly where his horns would be. The action was overwhelmingly tender, and Zhongli swallowed thickly.
He smiled, his chest warm with emotion. “I love you,” he said plainly.
“Zhongli…” Childe reversed their positions, hovering over Zhongli. “Love you so much. My beautiful dragon mate.”
The floor was hard and unyielding at Zhongli’s back, but Childe’s lips made it easy to forget any discomfort. “Your mate?” Zhongli choked out, shivering as Childe nipped at his jaw. He thought he understood now what Childe saw in marriage. Even if they already knew in their hearts what they meant to one another, there was something powerful in voicing those feelings aloud and hearing with certainty that those feelings were returned.
“My one and only,” Childe assured him, understanding what Zhongli wanted to ask. “As long as I live.” He toyed with the fastenings on Zhongli’s clothes. “Are you okay to keep going?”
Zhongli nodded. He was somewhat dazed from hearing Childe’s unabashed affirmation, but his stomach roiled with want. He needed Childe’s hands on him, needed to feel the weight of Childe’s body against him.
Childe helped him undress, and Zhongli pushed away the small surge of panic that surfaced as his skin rippled, an itch spreading along his limbs and across his cheeks as patches of scales manifested. His instincts were clamoring for more—for claws and fangs, for a tail—but Zhongli tried to focus on Childe.
“You’re beautiful,” Childe said, sitting back as he tugged his own clothes off. He grinned. “Want to marry you, so you’ll be all mine.”
Zhongli was already his, but he nodded anyway. He thought of the first time Childe had bedded him—how surprisingly gentle Childe had been, even knowing Zhongli’s body was hardier than most. If Zhongli had not already been sure that he wanted Childe as his mate, Childe’s loving touch would undoubtedly have convinced him. But Zhongli had already been taken with him, in too deep since the first time Childe had looked at him with something more than innocent interest brewing in those mesmerizing eyes.
Childe’s hips rolled against him, and it became difficult to formulate coherent thoughts. He groaned in pleasure as Childe’s cock rubbed against his, Childe’s hand wrapping around them both. The ring on Childe’s finger was cool against him, the smooth surface of the stone sliding against his sensitive flesh. Childe’s face was flushed with desire, and Zhongli wanted to keep that look on his face as long as he could. It was unreasonable to ask Childe never to be homesick or never to worry about the future, but Zhongli loved seeing his mate happy and alight with excitement, free from his insecurities.
Zhongli hooked his legs around Childe’s thighs, wanting Childe even closer. Childe settled against his chest, hips still moving as he captured Zhongli’s lips and coaxed Zhongli’s tongue into his mouth.
Zhongli’s control was slipping, and he felt his nails sharpen, digging too deeply into Childe’s back. That was usually the breaking point, when he started to forget that his mate wasn’t a dragon—when he became too rough for comfort.
He turned his head, Childe’s lips dragging hotly against his cheek. “Childe,” he choked out.
“Too much?” Childe asked. “We can…we can stop.” Zhongli could hear the disappointment leaking into his voice, though he was sure Childe meant to hide it.
Zhongli was disappointed, too. He wanted to mate with Childe, and he was frustrated that his body wouldn’t even let him be together with Childe the way they used to. Especially today, when Zhongli wanted to reaffirm their bond more than ever.
Childe began to pull away, but Zhongli stopped him, his hand wrapped loosely around Childe’s arm. “Perhaps if we proceed slowly…”
Childe smiled. “You don’t have to force yourself.”
“But Childe,” he insisted. “I want you. Over me, under me, in any way you will have me.” He wanted to take pleasure in his mate. His incredible mate who had stranded himself in this foreign land just to stay at Zhongli’s side, who had agreed to start a family at the risk of derailing his ambitions, who accepted Zhongli’s past and the complicated facets of his true self, who wanted to marry Zhongli to ensure they were bound together. “If you are willing to try…”
“You know I want you in every way,” Childe said, a little breathless. “If you think you can handle it, I won’t say no.”
“Please,” Zhongli said.
He turned over, pressing his upper body low against the ground. His claws scraped against the floorboards as he braced himself. He concentrated, wondering if his body could produce slick like this. His body’s response was almost immediate, his inner walls clenching as wetness pooled at his entrance. He let out a stuttered moan as his body anticipated what was to come.
Childe groaned quietly behind him, and Zhongli was desperate for his touch. He tried to arch his back more, appealing to his mate to do something.
“Look at you,” Childe said, chuckling to himself. “Haven’t seen you this needy since your heat.”
“Childe,” he begged.
“Sorry,” he said, his hands settling on Zhongli’s hips, thumbs rubbing little circles. He hummed thoughtfully. “Can’t see your face like this.”
There was a sudden discomfort in Zhongli’s lower back, and he shifted his hips, trying to relieve the pressure. “Childe,” he warned, “my tail is—” He hissed as the sudden weight changed his center of gravity.
“Whoa!” Childe exclaimed, the warmth of his hands disappearing as he dodged out of range of the wayward tail.
Zhongli tried to reign in his tail, but it kept flicking around instinctively, searching for his mate’s nonexistent tail. “I am sorry,” Zhongli gritted out, shifting his tail off to one side.
Childe’s hands were back, skating soothingly over Zhongli’s thighs. “It’s okay,” Childe assured him. Zhongli shivered at the feeling of fingers pressing between his cheeks. “Want all of you, remember?”
“Yes,” Zhongli gasped, clenching around the finger Childe slipped into him.
“Gonna take care of you,” Childe promised, stretching him gently. “As your mate and your husband-to-be.”
A pleased growl rumbled low in his throat, and he pressed his face against the floor. Being with Childe now felt more natural than ever, and he tried to relax. Childe was safe from his teeth and claws like this, so there was no need to worry.
Childe’s hands hooked around his thighs, adjusting Zhongli’s hips so he could enter him. As soon as Childe’s cock breached him, Zhongli’s tail reacted involuntarily, curling all the way around Childe’s waist, the tuft of fur at the end brushing against Zhongli’s own thigh.
“I hope that’s a good sign,” Childe said.
Zhongli grunted affirmatively. “It feels good to hold on to you.” He could feel Childe’s muscles flexing where the tail pressed against his skin. “Does it bother you?”
Childe laughed lightly. “It tickles,” he said. “But it’s not bad.”
“I am sorry,” Zhongli apologized. “If I could return to normal—”
“Zhongli, I don’t want normal,” Childe said. “I want you.” He paused a moment before adding, “Not that you’re abnormal.”
Zhongli ignored his comment, shifting his hips desperately. “Childe,” he whined, “you said you would take care of me.”
“You know I always keep my promises.” Childe’s hips snapped against him, driving his cock deep inside. “I’ll make you feel so good.”
“Please.”
“Listen to you begging so sweetly.” He thrust in and out steadily, his pace unhurried. “Just be patient. We’re taking this slow.”
One of Childe’s hands massaged Zhongli’s waist before slipping underneath him to cradle his stomach. Zhongli gasped softly, and he thought about the eggs he had laid—the eggs his body had produced because Childe was his mate. A sudden wave of emotion overtook him, and he took a deep breath, blinking away tears.
He thought of Childe’s excitement and enthusiasm at the idea of marriage, the earnest desire with which he had accepted Zhongli’s ring. Childe loved him so wholly—so purely—but perhaps in some deep part of his heart, Zhongli had still harbored doubts. He had clung to the fear that he was unworthy of Childe’s companionship—that he and Childe were fundamentally incompatible. And yet, here they were.
Perhaps this is what he had needed, what his instincts had been crying out for—to have Childe’s hands on him so lovingly like this when his body was blurring the lines between human and dragon, to know with certainty that Childe loved him no matter what form he took, to admit to himself that he needed to be with Childe like this sometimes.
“Ajax,” he cried out softly, needing Childe to understand the gravity of his feelings. “Ajax, I love you.”
“Zhongli.” Childe leaned down, stomach pressing against Zhongli’s tail as he folded their bodies together. A hand slipped around Zhongli’s neck, twisting his face back so Childe could kiss him, Childe’s tongue sliding wetly across his face more than lips. “Morax.”
Zhongli shuddered pleasantly. Childe had never used that name with him before, but the way he said it now felt like an acknowledgment of Zhongli’s past and all his parts.
“Love you,” Childe grunted, his hips moving faster. “Now and forever.”
Zhongli’s breath caught in his throat, his tail tightening its grip on Childe’s waist. An overwhelming heat spread through his body, the tension deep in his core unraveling without warning, his limbs shaking with the intensity of his release. Childe’s hands were solid on his hips, his length hot inside of him, but Zhongli was aware of little else as his nerves prickled with oversensitivity, pleasure pulsing warmly in his stomach.
At last, Childe spilled inside of him, and Zhongli allowed himself to collapse against the floor. His head was fuzzy with contentment, his body and desires satisfied. Childe was whispering sweet words as he pressed kisses against Zhongli’s back and shoulders, and Zhongli focused on his voice, his tail flicking lazily against the floor.
“We really are meant to be together, aren’t we?” Childe said. He brushed Zhongli’s hair aside and bit lightly at his neck. “I know I said I was okay not having sex, but I might need to take that back.” He settled next to Zhongli. “That was okay, right?”
Zhongli turned his head to look at him, and the hopeful expression on Childe’s face made him smile. “I may have needed that more than I realized.” He sat up, frowning at the discomfort lancing through his body. “Perhaps the floor was not the best choice for such an activity.”
Childe laughed. “Bruised my knees pretty good, I bet,” he said, but he hardly sounded upset about it.
Zhongli studied his hands for a moment before retracting his claws. He banished his tail and took stock of his body. He felt more at peace with himself than he had for quite some time, and he wanted nothing more than to cuddle up against his mate.
As if reading his mind, Childe tackled him, arms enveloping him in a tight embrace. Zhongli relaxed under Childe’s touch and rested his head on his mate’s shoulder. Childe played idly with Zhongli’s hair, his ring catching the light subtly as he moved his hand.
“Childe,” Zhongli said, “I am sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
Childe shook his head. “I don’t want to hear any apologies out of you.” He smirked. “But I hope this means you’re more open to pushing your limits.” He teethed at Zhongli’s ear before whispering, “Want your dragon cock in my mouth again.”
“Childe,” he said reproachfully. Trust Childe to undercut the moment with a sexual overture.
“Too soon?” Childe laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. “I guess I can wait a bit longer.” He pulled away and reached for their discarded clothes. “But we’ve got time, don’t we?” He laughed again, much softer this time. “Together forever, huh?”
Forever did not truly exist, but Zhongli did not want to dwell on the thought of endings right now. “As long as you will have me,” he said, warmth rising in his cheeks.
“Good luck getting rid of me,” Childe said. “I’m not one to do things by half measures.”
Zhongli laughed fondly. “No, you certainly are not.”
Childe nodded. “So we’re definitely going to have a big Snezhnayan wedding celebration. Multiple days, lots of drinking, the authentic Snezhnayan experience.” He toyed with his ring, twisting it around his finger. “Is it too soon to write to my family? I just sent off a letter the other day.” He made a cute noise of frustration. “But I want to tell them! My mother will be ecstatic.”
Zhongli just smiled, happy to see his mate alight with excitement about the future. With the eggs to hatch in a few short months, a wedding would be unlikely to happen anytime soon, but it warmed Zhongli’s heart to know Childe cared so deeply about their union. Childe was his everything—his mate, his true love, the sire of his children—and Zhongli needed him at his side now more than ever.
Zhongli was still learning what it meant to be with someone, and his dragon nature only complicated matters further. But Childe had proven time and again that he was willing to put in the effort to teach Zhongli, that he was patient enough to wait while Zhongli endeavored to understand his place in the world and who he wanted to become.
The future held so many uncertainties, but Zhongli would not have to face them alone. Childe’s hand would always be within reach. Zhongli need only move forward and take it.