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Sunoo didn’t know how to be true to himself. It was hard to admit that whenever Niki would smile at him, the emotions that would bubble up onto his face were not 100% platonic. And it kind of took him for a spin every time he caught himself staring a second longer at the younger’s photos than the other members while unboxing albums.
But each of these moments were caught on camera, and although Sunoo would love to attach himself to Niki like glue, there were always those two things there to blockade him from expressing his emotions - fear of his own feelings and fear of how it’d affect everything else.
Sunoo had to fight the blush off his face when the maknae would ruffle his hair (telling him how proud he was of Sunoo, really, it was like he was speaking to a pet!), and the third youngest member of Enhypen didn’t want people catching on.
That’s why it took until now, staring at Niki’s reflection in the mirror, to finally be honest with himself.
He liked Niki.
He liked liked Niki.
Staring into the mirror onto a reflection that was not his, Sunoo felt like a dam had broken in his mind, providing the reason for his unnatural affection and slight obsession with the dancer.
“I like you” Sunoo thought again, tossing around the words in his head.
Shaking his head, he went to join the other teenage boys who were running through yet another round of boy in luv. Sunoo ran his hands through his hair as the starting beats of the song flew into the air, vibrating with the ground.
He worked in unison with the other six idols, acting as he didn’t just mentally confess to one of them through a mirror.
It was hard work.
Harder, Sunoo realized, when he met Niki’s eyes through the mirror, one eyebrow raised as he looked at his hyung.
Flustered, Sunoo continued his motions, not stopping as Niki continued to make strange eyes at him. Unsure why, Sunoo watched as mid-choreo Niki turned to him and positively beamed not at all emulating the correct mood of the song they were covering.
This whole thing was just so strange and Sunoo couldn’t understand what was going on with the maknae’s mood swings.
But the smile on the youngest’s face was quickly wiped away by the loud cough of the dance teacher overseeing them.
All that was left was a confused Sunoo, who’d just experienced enough emotions and realizations in one day to last a lifetime.
Little did he know how much the members were used to it - the Sunoo smile they’d coined it - and it only showed up on Niki’s face when said boy was giving him attention.
Sunoo could think he was subtle all he wanted, but the frequent glances at Niki’s hardcore dancing were all caught by the overexcited maknae, shaking in happiness as he ended the practice.
Sunoo was not subtle.
Honestly? Sunoo didn’t know the half of it.
.1.
Niki went absolutely batshit crazy every time Sunoo would speak Japanese.
Something about hearing the tinier male speak in his own language filled Niki with a hard-to-define feeling that made his eyes crease and his laughter tinkle higher than anyone else in the room. As time went on, Niki realized that feeling was just pure, unchangeable love for the way Sunoo would trip over the Japanese consonants, looking back at Niki to check if he got it correct.
Which was why when Sunoo perfectly nailed a Japanese question during their live Q&A, Niki couldn’t resist making a huge deal out of it.
Obviously, at first he tried to hold it back, his face twitching to stay in place. But when Sunoo repeated the question in full, Niki felt his heart beat faster, monitoring the way the adorable boy sitting beneath him smiled as he spoke Japanese.
It made Niki’s world start spinning, and before he knew it he was ruffling the cute boy’s hair, ignoring the way Sunoo rolled his eyes at the way the youngest messed up his hair.
(Jay had voiced his surprise, but Niki just ignored him. Sunoo was too cute for him to not shower every ounce of affection he could onto the pretty idol.)
When the company’s staff had first informed them they’d be making a debut in Japan - with a whole showcase too! - Niki felt the anticipation in him reach an all time high.
During the meeting, the youngest teenager’s legs start bouncing up and down with excitement - and most of his glances were at Sunoo, who was trying to mouth some common phrases in Japanese.
Most of the hyungs just put it up to Niki being incredibly happy to sing and promote in his own language, but Jay wasn’t so sure.
Niki himself was confused. He felt his neck burn once he realized that contrary to popular belief, he was awaiting the sight of a certain sunshine member working his way through Japanese words and culture. It made the young boy’s heart warm while simultaneously scaring him.
Just how much power did this boy have over his poor heart?
.2.
Before coming to Korea, a lot of Niki’s “studying” comprised of forcing himself to watch k-dramas over and over again, begging his mind to work in Korean instead of his pre-programmed Japanese. Obviously, while romance dramas weren’t his favorite genre, he still found that the magic of k-dramas worked on him.
Even before i-land Niki felt his heart thump as he watched the tinier female lead disappear into the male’s arms. Cliched, cheesy scenes might have made him gag a little, but part of him wanted that for himself. Without knowing, he’d formed an ideal type of person.
So just imagine how surprised he was when that exact person was the hyung he debuted with?
Niki let his gaze follow Sunoo, as he prepared to binge another episode of some random k-drama right before bed. Although the two of them loved fighting through horror movies late at night, they gave their cowardly hyungs a break every now and then.
Jungwon had scolded them into a different routine - when their schedules were going to be early the next morning, Niki let Sunoo fold himself into his own bed to watch some sappy Korean film. Niki would fall asleep in his own bed after finishing his last game of FIFA with Heeseung no doubt winning.
Today, however, Niki wanted to change things up a bit.
“Hyung, can I sleep with you tonight?”
Sunoo gave him two seconds.
“NO! Gods, no, not like that I meant-”
“It’s okay, I know what you mean. Maybe just think before you start speaking next time, hmm?”
Niki saw the way Sunoo’s cheeks were burning and his lips were turned up before the elder turned away to make his way to the bedroom. Wordlessly following him like a lost puppy, Niki trailed after Sunoo, staring at the ground.
“You can… watch a drama with me?”
Wincing at his badly phrased question (that really sounded more like an order than it should), Niki laid down beside Sunoo. Sunoo was slightly confused at the awkward stance of the younger, but he excused it due to the late hour.
And god, if there was one thing Niki loved about Sunoo it was the way he watched dramas.
“Niki-yah, look at the way her hair got screwed up!”
“Kyaak~ I think he’s gonna confess!”
“....Oh no he didn’t-”
Sunoo spoke endearingly to the younger, and Niki was fascinated by the way Sunoo would chirp happily when things would work out for the protagonist. Through his stupid puns and weird jokes that Niki could barely understand, Niki found himself falling deeper and deeper for the older boy.
He wondered if Sunoo would ever realize that anything they started watching would end up with Niki just staring at him the whole time.
That night, the two fell asleep in the same bed, fingers laced together under the covers.
(Sunoo would wake up cold though, not knowing of their connected hands the night before - Niki had to leave for recording before his hyung had gotten up.)
.3.
Most of all Niki loved the way the elder would hold him between his two hands as he poured out all his troubles. Niki trusted Sunoo, He trusted him with his tears, his words, his life. It was easy for the two to be lost in each other's worlds.
All it took was a look from on and the other would immediately understand everything they were conveying.
Whenever Niki was feeling homesick, Sunoo would just drag him by the hair to his bed and trap him with his legs, not letting him go until the younger was relaxed in his hold and dialing his mom’s number.
(His mom would then proceed to giggle as Niki fussed over his hyung’s hair in front of the camera)
Whenever Niki was practically raging at one of their instructors - his emotions were all over the place like most teenagers his age - Sunoo would be the one to take him aside and calm him down.
Petting his hair and holding his hands, the shorter would lean into Niki and help him get back on track.
(Niki did notice the way Sunoo would gulp and look down at his fingers a lot when he was mad. Little did he know the last time that happened, Heeseung turned to Jay and gave him 5,000 won. Sunoo was for sure attracted to their maknae when he was mad.
Jungwon would take a fire hydrant and smash his head in if he had to hear about the way Niki’s eyes just “glowed with passion” and “....he’s just so hot when he glares.” Jungwon didn't know how to tell him that might be just because Niki could glare at everyone except the sunshine member.)
Sunoo was like Niki’s emotional thermometer, and the hyungs would worry about that dependency if it wasn’t for the way Niki would protect the elder in return.
There were many times where Sunoo’s mind would stray off track.
He’d look at his face in the mirror and instead of seeing the pretty face the whole world had come to know and love, he’d see a sad man staring back at him. Sunoo would break down easily those days, and Niki took it upon himself to help the tinier male up, off the bathroom floor.
He’d wipe his hyung's tears and bring him into a hug, the dance leader making an obvious exception when it came to breaks in dance practice for the other.
The Enhypen members all saw the growing relationship between the two boys, and they were happy that they had each other.
That did not meant that they wouldn’t roll their eyes every time Niki brought water with stars in his eyes to his hands down favorite hyung.
Seriously, they could live without the oblivious way Sunoo would thank the younger, complimenting him on being a good dongsaeng.
A younger brother.
Jay was sick of seeing the way Niki’s ears would droop like a kicked puppy.
How Sunoo never caught on they would never know.
.4.
Niki got jealous.
He couldn’t help it!
When Jay came home, teasing Sunoo about finally making a friend by the name of “Eunha” at his new school, Niki felt the familiar traces of envy stab into his heart.
Sunoo blushed, shaking his head, and replied with some comment that had Jay squawking, batting at his classmate.
Jungwon tilted his head in confusion as he saw Niki, silently brooding in the corner instead of joining in on the let's-make-fun-of-hyung train as he normally would.
“She’s just a friend, hyung. I thought you of all people would know that I’m not… you know.”
Jay’s eyes widened at the sudden confession.
“Here? You don’t mind..?”
Sunoo rolled his eyes at Jay’s unspoken question..
“Please, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I am who I am and if any of the members have a problem with that they can shove it up their ass.” Sunoo ended sassily, staring down the other six men in the room. He was just at the dining table in their dorms, but it looked as if he was ready to head to war.
Heeseung was confused.
“Hold up, hold up, hold up. First, language. Second, what are we talking about right now?”
Sunoo rolled his eyes dramatically as he realized 5/7 of the people in the room didn't catch on to what he was implying.
“I’m gay, hyung. I like boys. I like men. The last time I felt something when I looked at a woman was when my mom pushed me out and I cried. There is no way I could make the headlines with a dating scandal because I simply do not like girls.”
The room rang silent.
Niki felt the little twist in his stomach unroll, watching carefully at the reactions of all of his hyungs.
“Well I knew that.” Jake suddenly spoke. “No straight man would stare so much at my abs during dance practice.”
Sunoo blushed horribly and sputtered out some denial.
Niki felt the familiar nasty feeling well up in his stomach again.
“So… no problems?”
Niki looked around after Sunoo spoke.
The room resounded with support, and Niki felt a tiny part of him explode in happiness when he saw each and every one of his hyungs look lovingly at Sunoo and express their acceptance.
“I’m… into guys too. Like I’m not picky. I think I’m bisexual…?”
Niki looked down into whatever kimchi soup their manager had ordered for them, scared of the other’s reactions.
When he’d summoned up the courage, he looked up first to his right, where Sunoo was.
That was the best choice he’d ever made.
Sunoo gave him a piercing smile, with his cheeks in full whisker-smile mode. His teeth were gleaming and Niki could’ve sworn the older teenager was tearing up a little.
“I’m so proud you told us, love.”
If Niki blushed at the endearment, the only people who would know would be those that would accept his less-than-platonic feelings for his hyung.
“So you’re just friends with Eunha, then?”
“Yah.”
Sunoo was confused as to why Niki insisted on cuddling that night. He assumed it was just the leftover fear from coming out to the rest.
Sigh
When would Sunoo ever understand?
.+1.
It took a while for Niki to get his head out of his ass and finally confess to the elder. He realized that Sunoo had selective intelligence - he could tell which makeup artist liked which manager hyung, but he couldn’t see the boy dying for attention right in front of his eyes!
So obviously, his first step was to consult Jungwon.
“So… hypothetically. As a leader. If one of your members liked another. And wanted to date them. How would you… How would that-?”
“Finally, are you going to get with Sunoo or what?!”
“Huh?”
“The hyung line has a whole bet set up around when exactly y’all get together! No one wanted to be risky enough so I said y’all would be smooching by the end of this week. Hurry up and take him on a date or something - I’ll split 60,000 won with you.”
Niki was unceremoniously pushed out of their dorm’s door with instructions on how to reach the manager that would be picking up Sunoo from school that afternoon.
(No one else went to school except him, and Jungwon, “didn’t want him feeling lonely”)
“‘Didn’t want him feeling lonely’ my ass.” Niki thought to himself as he trudged up to the front of Hanlim high school. Niki knew Jungwon just wanted his share of the bet money.
But, like the filial child he was, Niki prepared himself to finally spell it out to the elder. He was fairly sure Sunoo felt the same, after all. It was just a matter of courage and pushing the right words out… the latter being the hardest part.
Nki flinched as a loud bell rang across the campus. Students started flooding out left right and center, and he felt a faint brush of red creep up his neck when he realized how much he stood out against the crowd.
Ignoring the curious glances from many of the yellow-suited high schoolers there, the lone Japanese kid ran up to a group of people who were crowding around a spell of bright laughter.
Niki would recognize that voice anywhere.
“Hyung!” Niki called out.
The pretty boy was surrounded by many of his classmates (his social life had vastly expanded since their comeback promotion period had ended.) But Sunoo still heard the calling of his bandmate and quickly spun around, many more eyes trailing his actions to the stylishly dressed fifteen year old standing behind them.
Niki was standing still with his hand raised to greet Sunoo. His blazer was fitted above his shirt and slightly formal pants he’d borrowed from Jay. (He really hadn’t asked, but that was expected.)
Sunoo jumped up from where he was sitting and grinned brightly, face going up to meet the younger’s intimidating face.
“Oh, hey! Why are you here!”
Sunoo ignored the random bursts of happiness his mind was supplying him with.
The undeniably attractive boy had come to his school to collect him and now Sunoo would have his classmates (those who were in the know) be able to see the tall maknae of Enhypen doting after him.
The protectiveness of Niki’s hold as the taller guided him to their company’s van almost made him squeal in happiness.
(They both chose to ignore the wolf whistling sounding from Eunha and more of the elder’s friends. It only made Sunoo cuddle closer to Niki’s chest and Niki more nervous for what was to come.)
“I came so that you wouldn’t get lost, don’t think too much,” Niki grumbled as Sunoo turned to him with teasing eyes.
The two were sitting in the back of the car, with their manager in the front, hard of hearing and fully focused on the road.
Sunoo only held Niki’s hand harder, lacing their fingers through.
Come on, that had to be a good sign.
“Why are your hands so sweaty?” Sunoo questioned the boy.
“I’m kind of nervous…”
Sunoo leaned away from Niki, staring into his soul as if trying to discern whether he’d gone insane or not.
“For what?”
Niki groaned and sunk his head in his hands.
“Do I really have to spell it out, hyung? I thought it’d be obvious enough by now.”
Sunoo felt an inkling of realization slip into his mind. “But… I mean, are we thinking about the same thing right now? I’d hate to jump to conclusions just for you to have to correct me…”
Sunoo’s downcast eyes were shooting all around the car. Even though he just whispered, Niki knew how loud Sunoo’s words were, and he realized why it was so hard for Sunoo to grasp onto the fact that the younger was hopelessly in love with him.
“Hyung, I like you. Like romantically. I want to hold your hands and know you feel the same.”
Sunoo gasped, feeling as if his whole world was tilted over.
“Me? I- I’m pretty sure you know how I feel but… I’m still confused why you would like me of all people. I’m… I’m sorry but I didn’t think you’d ever be able to like me back. I mean… look at me and look at you…”
Sunoo gestured to the way the younger was towering over him, dressed in all black.
Niki felt a strangled yell threaten to break through his throat. He replied immediately, still whispering.
“Hyung, how long have you felt like that? I couldn’t imagine liking anyone other than you! I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you earlier, but I really wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wasn’t sure if I should say this now but,” Niki took a deep breath. “I love you, hyung. And every time I wake up right next to you I want to be able to kiss your little nose and call you cute nicknames without having to tack on ‘no homo’ at the end.”
Sunoo was close to tears as they neared their dorm.
Whispering a hoarse, “really?” back, Sunoo leaned in to rest his face on the younger.
Niki tilted Sunoo’s face up and left a small kiss on the smaller’s forehead. Caging in his waist, Niki all but pulled Sunoo into his lap, whispering cute affirmations and sweet words to the other.
When they got back and Niki was still showering his affection onto Sunoo, his hands still trailing all over hyung, Sunoo got on his tiptoes to whisper into the other male’s ears.
“Boyfriends?”
Niki let that sit in the air for a second.
“My boyfriend’s so cute!” Niki almost squealed, taking his hands and squishing Sunoo’s face between them.
Trying to hide the smile threatening to slip out, Sunoo turned away.
“We have dance practice in twenty minutes, hurry up kids!”
They heard Heeseung call from the hallway.
When Sunoo exited their shared closet clad in a familiar black hoodie that dwarfed his small figure, Niki smiled into his hand and ran to cling onto the elder for almost the rest of the evening.
When Niki landed a small peck on Sunoo’s lips, it was met with cheers of their young leader and emptying pockets of the four eldest members.
(Jungwon was handed money and promptly split it 50/50 with his only younger bandmate. Jake tried to raise a protest, saying Jungwon had interfered with the bet results, but they could say nothing when Sunoo ended up taking all the cash with his sweater paws, adorably whining at the fact it took no more than 30,000 won for Niki to finally man up and ask him out.)