Work Text:
The light purple of lilacs can represent first love. Other interpretations can be banishment of negative energy. When you smell a lilac, its strong but pure scent, it means your guardian angel is trying to tell you something.
Soobin walks into the salon. It's nice. Upscale, but typical for Gangnam businesses. He walks to the front desk and flashes a smile to the girl. "Hey! Uh, Choi Soobin. Just here for a cut," his sight shifts to the bouquet of carnations next to the computer. The pastel pinks keeping his attention.
She smiles back, turning to her computer. "Do you have an appointment?"
He nods, looking back to her. "I do, with Yeonjun-ssi."
She begins typing on her keyboard, doing a few clicks, then flashing him a smile. "Alright, if you want to sit down, he should be done soon."
"Thank you.” He takes a seat in a chic, boxy red chair. He takes a look around to see that everything is chic, from the white walls with gold and black accents, the minimalistic design and assortment of products, the bougie chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Way better looking than his old place which could best be described as a hole in the wall. But his new job, full time, paid decently enough for him to splurge on his hair. Better than his high school job that barely gave him enough for gas and lunch. But with the holidays coming up, he wants to look his best for family photos, as it's his first holiday season as an adult.
"Soobin-ssi?" A voice breaks him out of his thoughts to look up at a blonde with yellow ends. Nerves immediately fill his body seeing the guy. Queue Squidward saying Oh no, he's hot! Because that's how this feels. He feels like a loser Squidward next to a Squilliam Fancyson.
He stands up and waves at Yeonjun, giving a small grin. "That's me."
Yeonjun returns the smile, wider than him. "Hey there! How are you today?" he asks as Soobin walks up.
Yeonjun leads him to his styling chair, prompting him to sit. "Good. And you?"
He grabs his comb and immediately begins to comb his dark black locks. "Yeah, same.” He looks in the mirror at the reflection of the boy in his chair, watching how his long black hair moves with his comb. "Wow... Your hair is so soft."
Soobin's cheeks turn a tinge of pink, mainly because the pretty boy complimented him. "Oh, thank you."
Yeonjun stops combing through his hair for a moment. "Gosh, I'm so sorry. I get so distracted sometimes.” He shakes his head as a way to physically clear it. "You were the client that wanted lilac, right?"
Soobin, being the awkward person that can never say 'No' to anyone nice, responds with a quiet, "Yeah," mentally slapping himself a million times. Purple?! His mom is going to murder him!
Yeonjun gives Soobin a smile. "It'll be a process since your hair is such a pretty black, but I love your mind. It'll look even prettier on you!" He gives Soobin a gentle pat on his shoulders, "I'll be right back, let me mix the bleach."
Soobin is going to die today.
Once Yeonjun comes back with the bowl of bleach, he applies an apron to Soobin and begins to section of his hair. "So, what do you do, Soobin-ssi?"
Soobin watches Yeonjun in the mirror. "I work at a convenience store. That's about it."
"You're graduated?" Yeonjun darts his eyes back to the mirror to look at Soobin.
"Yeah, a few months ago from Gangnam."
"So you're..?"
"18, turning 19."
Yeonjun begins to apply the bleach to his ends. "Nice. I'm 20.” He brushes a generous amount, avoiding the roots. "So no college?"
"Not yet, no. I'm still not sure what I want to do."
Yeonjun gives a shrug. "Cosmetology school is fast, and it pays nice."
Soobin just wanted a trim. "I'll consider it."
Yeonjun gives a chuckle, dipping his brush for more bleach. "You're not but it's okay." He applies another generous glob to Soobin's ends. "So, you don't have any hobbies? Anything you like?"
Soobin thinks for a moment, realizing his new adult life is just boring. "I like Bebe Rexha."
"Oh, so, you're gay." Soobin's eyes almost pop out of his head, making Yeonjun laugh.
"It's fine, I'm gay."
"I mean, I wasn't going to be shy about it. Just caught me off guard you guessed off of one artist."
Yeonjun gives a shrug. "My gaydar is immaculate. I guessed way earlier but mentioning Bebe was basically a confirmation."
Soobin raises an eyebrow with a concerned tone. "How much earlier?"
"Literally as soon as I looked at you." Soobin stays quiet for a moment, wondering if he caught him staring. "So, Soobin-ssi is from Gangnam, works at a convenience store, and loves Bebe Rexha ," he says with an implication to his sexuality. "Anything else?"
"What about you? You're Yeonjun-ssi who does hair and is gay ." He uses the same infliction that Yeonjun gave.
Yeonjun laughs. "Well, I definitely have a thing for boys who can make me laugh."
Soobin's heart freefalls into his ass.
Yeonjun notices Soobin buffering in the chair below him. "Maybe I should have held off until the cut." Soobin gives a nod, quiet, making Yeonjun frown. "Sorry, I'll shut up."
Soobin shakes his head. "No, it's okay. Just caught me... Really off guard." This time, Yeonjun is the one to keep quiet, making Soobin frown. "Keep going."
Yeonjun looks at his reflection in the mirror, seeing his frown curve up into a smile. He can't help but smile back, going into his roots. "When you're processing, give me your number."
The entire time, they talked. Soobin honestly forgot he was going lilac, just thanking himself for giving him the extra time. That is, until a client causes commotion at the front desk.
"I have been here for a goddamn hour!"
"I know, I'm so sorry, ma'am. But Yeonjun is very busy-"
Both Yeonjun and Soobin turn to the front desk, hearing his name. Yeonjun recognizes her as a regular. "Cho Soojin! I came here to get my hair fucking purple! What is taking him so fucking long?!"
The blood from Soobin's face drains, realizing what he's done. Yeonjun pauses his cut at looks at Soobin in the mirror, his freshly purple hair dampened to cut. He steps away, realizing the situation. "Soobin," he begins. "You didn't stop me. Why didn't you stop me?"
"I have a hard time saying 'no' and correcting people, I'm sorry!" he rushes out, knowing it won't make the situation any better.
Yeonjun does a slow nod, his expression not changing. "I'll be right back." He puts down his tools and walks to the front desk, immediately blasted with profanities and threats of bad reviews. When he comes back, he picks up his tools again, but his hands shake violently. He tries to take a deep breath. However, it's harsh.
Soobin notices and turns around in his chair. "Hey, I'm sorry. I fucked up."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "No, it's fine. She was a bitch anyway. Made me redo her hair once because she didn't like it."
Soobin thinks for a moment, then it dawns on him. "Oh, you don't like being yelled at."
"Nobody does," Yeonjun replies quickly.
"You can't handle being yelled at.” That makes Yeonjun go quiet, dinging at the answer. "Well, I can't handle yelling if it makes you feel any better."
Yeonjun looks at him then gives a tiny smile. "You look better purple than she would have anyway."
Soobin sees he's still shaking. "Hey, put your stuff down and sit."
The older one shakes his head. "Your hair is uneven."
"You can barely hold the scissors. Sit down, I can wait."
When Yeonjun sits down, Soobin does all he can to distract him, make him smile, anything to calm his nerves. It works, and Yeonjun eventually finishes, even styling his hair. When he stands up to leave, Yeonjun stops him. "Hey, um... Sorry if this is direct, but would you like to go on a date? Like tonight? I get off of work at six."
Soobin's eyes widened at the question, not expecting it to come out of the hot stylist's mouth. After a moment of stammering, he gives a nod. "Yeah, yeah I would love to."
Yeonjun smiles at the newly lilac haired boy. "Okay. Um, you don't have to leave a tip. Just... You know the Italian restaurant by the bougie McDonald's?" Soobin nods. "Meet there at 6:30?"
Soobin nods again. "Yeah. Sounds great."
▪︎
When Soobin arrives home, he has about an hour to get ready. His mission is to find a nice outfit, make sure he smells nice, and not have a lecture from his mom about hair.
One of those things did not work out.
Soobin tries to blow by the kitchen where his mom is washing up after dinner. "Soobie, I left some food-" She gasps at the sight of his hair, "Choi Soobin, what did you do to your hair?!" she shrieks, rushing over to him in the doorway of the kitchen. She grabs a lock of his hair and examines it, as much as she can at her short stature. "Crouch down, Groot."
He does as she says but not without whining, "Ma!"
"Who is the stylist?! Who did this to you so I can give them a piece of my mind?" She furrows her eyebrows at her son, letting go of his hair.
He stands back upright, clearing his throat before he awkwardly answers. "I, um, I'm going on a date with him in an hour."
Her entire attitude does a 180 at the mention of 'date'. "A date?" She raises her eyebrows with a wide smile. "Well, tell me a bit about him."
Thinking of Yeonjun, he smiles. "Well, he's twenty, a hairstylist. He's incredibly sweet and incredibly good looking."
She gives another shriek, this time of excitement, clapping her hands together. "Oh goodness! Where are you two going?"
"Oh, that Italian restaurant by the uptight McDonald's."
She makes an 'ooh' expression. "Ooh, did he ask you?" He responds with a nod. "Oh, he has money." She begins to push him to his room. "Go get ready! Go have fun!"
He chuckles at her excitement and goes to his room.
▪︎
The two arrive just two minutes apart, greeting each other with a smile.
"Guess we live close to each other." Yeonjun puffs out a cloud of smoke that mimics the colors of the flashing neon lights of the open sign, picking himself off the exterior wall of the restaurant.
Soobin looks at the vape pen between the older's fingers. "You vape?"
Yeonjun shrugs. "I don't have to." He sticks the pen in his coat pocket.
"I don't care if you do or don't." Soobin looks back up at him. "Just surprising. Never really been around it."
Yeonjun looks the younger up and down, noticing the somewhat tense stance to him. He gives a light chuckle. "Well, I've never really been around anyone like you."
Soobin raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Hot as fuck and doesn't realize it."
Soobin's cheeks glow as red as the neon lights strobing at the window, all the way up to his ears, giving a warming, tingling sensation. "I-I'm not-'' he stutters out.
Yeonjun chuckles again. "You are. I'll tell you until you believe it." He then grabs the younger's hand, pulling him inside the restaurant. "Come on, I want to have fun."
Ordering and receiving their drinks, small talk ensues.
Soobin catches a glance of the older and gives a smile. "I'm nothing to stare at."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "Just taking in the view."
The younger one rolls his eyes, grabbing the drink that's placed in front of him by the waiter. "You're the view." He puts the cup to his lips, gulping after the compliment that slipped out.
The older's eyes widen as big as his smile. "Ahh, so he can flirt!"
The younger pouts to the older. "I'm not that great at it."
The sunshine hair hums. "Sure okay." He takes a drink of his own, placed down a moment ago by the waiter. "Tell me more about yourself."
"What do you want to know?" Soobin asks.
Yeonjun scans Soobin's face in search of a topic. "Do you have a family?"
Soobin didn't think much about the way it was asked. "Mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew."
Yeonjun's eyes light up at the mention of a nephew. "You're an uncle?"
Soobin nods with a smile. "Yeah. My sister is seven years older than me. My nephew is four and my mom and I watch him while she and her husband are working."
"That's so sweet."
"What about you?" Soobin asks. "What's your family like?"
"Oh." Yeonjun looks down at the reflection into his cup. He gulps before answering, "Just my mom and dad. No siblings."
"Do you still live with them?"
Yeonjun nods. "Yeah." After a pause, he takes a long drink. "Do you have plans with them for the holidays?"
"I know for Christmas, my sister's family comes over, but nothing planned out for new years. Christmas is more about the kid anyway. Uh, what about you?"
Yeonjun shakes his head. "My family doesn't do holidays anymore."
Soobin frowns. "Don't you want to be festive?"
"I mean, it would be nice but it's not necessary.” A bit of hurt tints his voice. "Uhm, what do you like to do?"
"Watch movies," the lilac haired boy responds with a smile. "I love movies. I want to have a love from a movie, maybe a rom-com."
The corners of Yeonjun's lips lift into a small smile. "Yeah. Everything just feels so special and perfect. Like you know the two characters are soulmates. Or to have a kiss that feels like fireworks. It's cliché but unique in it's own way."
Soobin stares at Yeonjun as he speaks, enamored with the words coming from his mouth. His heart rate quickens. "How are you single?"
Yeonjun looks down at his drink, pulling it to him. During the quiet pause, he plays with the stirrer in the red liquid, scraping off some of the salt on the edges. "That's a question,” he scoffs, hoping the younger is a bit oblivious to catch it.
"Dated an asshole?"
Another pause. "Yeah..." He trails off. "Not a good relationship. I-I still owe him."
"Why?" Soobin asks. “You don't owe him shit if he was an asshole."
"He paid for cosmetology school and got me my job."
The younger one shakes his head. "Sounds more like a sugar daddy than a boyfriend. Treat it like that."
After a few more drinks and food, the two leave the restaurant. Yeonjun is just a bit buzzed, and Soobin is borderline drunk, clinging to Yeonjun. They walk into an alleyway right outside to say their goodbyes for the night.
Yeonjun wraps his arms around Soobin's neck, examining his features in the low light of the nearest streetlight. Soobin throws his arms around Yeonjun's waist, pulling him dangerously close absent-mindedly.
"You're so pretty, Yeonjun..." Soobin begins. "Inside and out..."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "No... No I'm not."
'Shhh..." Soobin brings his finger to the older's lips, gently pressing on them. "You are. You have the prettiest eyes, the prettiest hair, the prettiest nose, the prettiest cheeks, the prettiest laugh." He trails off to look at the older's lips, slowly sliding his finger down and politely tugging at his bottom lip. "The prettiest lips that make the prettiest smile."
Yeonjun hums at the touch of the younger. "Soobin..."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Please," the older pleads. Soobin moves his hand to Yeonjun's cheek, starting to caress his skin. When their lips touch, sparks fly. Like a firework's fuse reaching the end and causing a cascading explosion of multicolored fizzies. Their lips move in a perfect synchronicity against each other, too perfect. Soobin leads Yeonjun a few steps behind, stopping when his back touches the cool brick of the alley wall. The two indulge in each other's taste and touch, neither one of them with plans to stop.
Until a repeated chiming interrupts them, causing Yeonjun to pull away quickly. He grabs his phone from his pocket and turns off the alarm.
Soobin looks at the older with a questioning expression. "What's up?"
"I gotta go," Yeonjun says with a frown. He looks back up at Soobin with a forced smile. "I had a lot of fun tonight."
"Why do you have to go?"
Yeonjun chews at his lip, his eyes darting from corner to corner. "Oh, uh, my mom gave me a curfew. You know, new person... And such."
Soobin nods. "Oh, I understand."
"I'm sorry," Yeonjun apologizes, stepping out of the alley. "But I want to see you again. Text me."
"I can walk you home," Soobin offers.
"No! No. It's fine. I won't inconvenience you."
"It's not an inconvenience."
"I'll see you next time!" Yeonjun gives a forced bright smile before walking out of the alley.
Soobin realizes the hue of Yeonjun's hair becomes more apparent as a caution sign, a sign for him to take things slow and be aware of his surroundings.
Which is the opposite of what he does on the walk home.
Soobin arrives home earlier than expected, his mom still awake watching TV. He walks through the front door of the apartment, startling her. "Jesus, Soobin!" she exclaims with her hand on her chest.
He gives a small chuckle, locking the door. "Sorry, ma."
She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, looking at the clock that reads 9:30 PM. "You're home early. Did the date not go well?"
He stumbles into the living room, feeling the effects of the alcohol wearing off, and sits down in the chair closest to the door. "Oh, no. Date was great. He just had to leave early. Apparently his mom still gives him a curfew."
"Well, that's odd..." She thinks to herself. "Do you think that's honest?"
Soobin shrugs, actually thinking about it. "I-I'm not sure. But he made it seem like his mom was overprotective."
She prys further. "Are you seeing him again?" He nods, which makes her sigh. "Just be careful, Soobie."
-----
Soobin parks outside of a white concrete house in a residential neighborhood. He types a text into his phone and sends it out, then changes the song until he finds one he wants to listen to. An IU song. Besides Bebe Rexha, he loves IU. And so does his friend opening the door, singing along as he sits.
Soobin watches the brunette boy buckle his seatbelt. "You hungry, Hyunnie?"
"Yeah, how about-" Taehyun looks up at Soobin after buckling his seatbelt, noticing the hue on his head and pausing. He stares at it as if the older grew a second head, moving his mouth trying to muster something to say. "Okay-!?"
"Chill out. It’s just a hair color." Soobin rolls his eyes and starts driving away from the house.
"Now you seriously look more like Minhyuk." Referencing the BTOB member.
"I'll kick you out of the car."
Taehyun chuckles, "What made you go purple?"
Soobin starts avoiding the topic, "Are you going to compliment me at any time?" He turns on his blinker, coming to a stop at a red light.
Taehyun fake gasps. "Belated emo phase! I knew it!"
"Sure, yeah." Then, Soobin's phone lights up with a notification, making them both look at it.
Taehyun begins to read aloud, "I had a lot of fun last-" Before he can finish, Soobin snatches his phone from its holder, "Hey! Who's Yeojin with the hearts?!"
"Absolutely none of your business." Soobin locks the screen and hides the phone under his leg. At that time, the light turns green and he turns across the intersection. "Food ideas, or we're going to Subway."
Taehyun shrugs. "I'll just pester you at Subway."
"Again, I'll kick you out," Soobin reiterates.
"Fine." Taehyun throws his hands up. "McDonald's and I won't bother you about 'Yeojin heart heart'."
"Yeonjun," Soobin reacts absent-mindedly, then realizes his slip up. "Fuck!"
"Ooh, Yeonjun!" Taehyun begins to tease. "Is he before or after the hair dye?"
Soobin gives a sigh, thumbing at his steering wheel. "I didn't want to talk about it because he's way out of my league."
Taehyun narrows his eyes at his friend. "That makes no sense."
"I don't want to hype him up if things don't work out. Then I'll just feel like a loser who walked into a trap." He shrugs with a pause. "It was one date, I doubt he wants to go on another."
"Soobin, you're literally so attractive and nice. You haven't even told me anything about him."
At the next stop light, Soobin pulls out his phone. He swipes away Yeonjun's message and goes into his photos, expanding the photo and handing the phone to Taehyun. "That's him. I took it last night." A candid snap of Yeonjun mid laughter, a smile up to his gums, kinda fuzzy due to the motion and dimness of the restaurant. The black lights make his hair a glowstick, showing off his yellow ends.
"Oh good God he's hot," Taehyun blurts. "Where did you find him?"
"I went in for a haircut."
Taehyun gives Soobin a look, watching the light turn green from his peripherals. "That's not a hair cut."
"Yeah." Soobin sighs, pressing on the gas. "He got me mixed up with another one of his clients and I was too whipped to correct him." Taehyun bursts into laughter, making Soobin want to hide himself. "I get it! I'm not bright! I see a cute boy, and I forget things have consequences."
"Mhmm," Taehyun responds with a giggle. "I see that."
"He's just..." Soobin trails off. "I don't know. There's just something different. It's scary. Like... I've fallen so fast, and not in like a 'whipped' way... Just talking to him, being around him, things click." He sighs. "I'm just scared things don't click on his side. Like he's just going to ghost me one day because I'm not his type anymore."
"I dunno, Soob. Seems like he really wants to be around you," Taehyun retorts.
"How do you know that?" Soobin glances at Taehyun then back at the road. He notices the younger is still on his phone, scrolling. "Hey!" He reaches over and snatches his phone back, locking the screen and shoving it under his legs. "Don't look at my messages!"
Taehyun shakes his head. "Thank me later, you have another date tonight."
Soobin almost swerves the car out of lane with his announcement. "Taehyun, what did you do!?" the elder shouts.
"I replied to his message. Now keep your eyes on the road, or there's no date."
After they reach the McDonald's, they go inside to order. As Taehyun orders, Soobin checks his messages to see what Taehyun actually sent and what Yeonjun said.
yeonjun♡♡: hey i had a lot of fun last week and i kinda want to do it again
yeonjun♡♡: like soon
soobin: How about tonight?
yeonjun♡♡: i get out at 6. pick me up?
After that is when he guesses he snatched the phone from Taehyun. He feels bad, leaving Yeonjun unanswered like that, so he texts back.
soobin: of course♡
After they both order, they fill up their drinks at the drink machine. Taehyun goes for Sprite while Soobin goes for Coke. "Thanks, Hyun,” he mutters, trying to act lowkey about it.
Taehyun smiles, grabbing a lid and a straw. "You deserve a hot boy in your life."
"You too," Soobin says back.
Taehyun chuckles, taking his drink to an available table. "No."
"No?" Soobin follows him, poking the straw into his lid. "What do you mean 'no'?"
The two sit in the booth across from each other, Taehyun holding back a frown. "If guys for me are just going to be shitty cheaters, then I'd rather stay single and focus on school."
"That's because you trusted a straight boy who said he wanted to experiment. He was there for intimacy, not love."
Taehyun falls silent after that, and understandably. It's been two weeks since that day. Soobin offered to hook him up with someone, but he refused. It may have been a small relationship, but it was his first, shared some firsts. It broke him more than he wants to admit. And that's the real reason Soobin didn't want to talk about Yeonjun yet. Soobin got over his firsts. To him, they're just a starting line. But he also didn't share them with a douchebag.
"I'm not going to tell you how to move on," Soobin begins. "That's all up to you. But life goes on. Life does not revolve around a shitty guy, so yours shouldn't revolve around it either."
"God," Taehyun says.
"What?" Soobin tilts his head to the side. It wasn't an exclamation nor the start of a rant.
"Life revolves around God apparently."
Soobin squints. "Wha-" Then, he shakes his head. "You don't even believe in God. Let’s start there. And Ariana Grande said God is a woman, and she has more impact."
"173!" the worker behind the counter shouts their order number.
▪︎
Soobin pulls up to Yeonjun's salon at 5:53pm, enough time in case he gets off five minutes early. He put on a nicer outfit after dropping off Taehyun, doing his hair a bit too. He doesn't really care about an exposed forehead but there was something about the side part he was feeling. As he's fixing some strands in his sunshade mirror, he sees a familiar blonde cross his windshield, a cloud of smoke following him as he shoves the pen in his pocket. He flips up the visor and unlocks the doors, letting him climb in the passenger seat. They smile at each other for a moment, taking in each other's appearances. Soobin can't help but focus on the top unbuttoned on Yeonjun's black button-down, exposing the inner sides of his collarbones.
"You look really good..." Soobin mutters, looking at other details of Yeonjun, like his dangling, silver earrings, the sharpness of his jawline, the smoke around his eyes. Every detail makes him a tad more nervous.
Yeonjun can't stop looking at Soobin's forehead and his parted hair. He reaches his hand to his lilac bangs and pushes them up, letting the strands fall in between each finger. "Good lord, part your hair more. It's sexy." The directness of the older makes Soobin turn red, not expecting such a compliment. Yeonjun notices and giggles at the younger. "Not used to compliments still?" He moves his hand down to Soobin's cheek and runs his thumb across his skin.
Soobin shakes his head. "I don't think I'll ever be."
Yeonjun hums softly. "Hmm, I'll get you used to it." He leans back into his seat to buckle himself in. "Where you taking me?"
"I- Uhm- Food?" Soobin stammers, awkwardly putting his hands on the wheel.
"Good, I'm hungry." Soobin gives a sigh of relief at the drop of the flirty tone, but a little too soon, "Because someone's looking scrumptious."
Soobin takes a sharp exhale. "Jesus Christ..."
Yeonjun cackles at the reaction. "My God, you're so much fun."
"I'm embarrassed!" Soobin exclaims.
"Take me to dinner, you weirdo." Yeonjun smiles brightly, then tucking his bottom lip between his teeth.
After arriving at the restaurant, the two exit the car. Yeonjun trails behind Soobin, making the younger feel a bit strange.
But Yeonjun's having too much fun with Soobin's embarrassment., "God- Damn ! That ass looks mighty fine in them jeans! You need help holding it?" Yeonjun shouts across the parking lot, making Soobin stop in the middle of the road and cover his glowing red face.
He whines as the older one laughs. "Yeonjun!"
"Can I get some fries with that shake?" he says closer to Soobin. He gives a chuckle before moving his hands from his face. "Okay, I'm done. I won't do it in the restaurant."
"Promise?" Soobin cowers behind his neon cheeks.
Yeonjun grabs his hands, moving closer to steal a kiss from the younger. "I promise," he says as he moves away.
(authors note: no there was literally no point to this scene i just found it funny)
-----
It's been a week and a half since the two have seen each other. Small text exchanges here and there, mostly Soobin doing the talking, and sometimes Yeonjun leaving him on read. After enough replies to dates with "Maybe not tonight" or strange texts hinting at the other's mental health, Soobin gets fed up. He texts Yeonjun when his lunch is, to his surprise, he replies: "No lunch, but I can take one." So they agreed on 2:30 PM.
Soobin arrives at the salon just before 2:30, carrying a bag of takeout from a Japanese place they went to once and a small set of purple flowers to brighten his mood. He sees Yeonjun's station but no Yeonjun. It's still a mess from the previous client. Curly white ends that look of lily petals dusting the floor to be clumped up and thrown out.
Soobin goes back to the desk to ask the lady about him. "Hey, where's Yeonjun?"
She stops typing on the computer and looks over at his station. She huffs, "Probably outside on a smoke break." She then points toward the back, "You can go back there. The door with the exit sign." She resumes back to typing. "And tell him to come clean up his mess."
Soobin begins to make his way through the back, finding the back door with ease. He cracks it open and sees Yeonjun leaning on the guard rail, cigarette between his lips. He sighs at the self-destructive behavior and walks out. Yeonjun turns his head, and takes a double take when he realizes it's Soobin.
Soobin walks up to the blonde with the flowers out, making him look up at Soobin. His face isn't as bright, even at the sight of the bunch of delicate petals. The bags under his eyes match the shade of the buds with a tinge of red mixed in. His jaw droops a bit, parting his lips as his eyebrows raise. "Lilacs..." His voice is drained. Not strained or cracked, but lacking of the usual energy and enthusiasm.
Soobin holds up the bag with a dimpled smile. "And takeout!"
"I-I'm not..." Yeonjun trails off, changing his view from the bag, to the flowers again, then the deep dimples and smeyesing. "Okay..." He looks back at his cigarette.
Soobin decides to make a comment, "I thought it was vaping?"
Yeonjun shrugs. "The cigarettes were cheaper." He kicks off some of the ash of the half burnt stick. "You can go back inside. I won't be much longer."
The younger one smiles a bit. "Okay... I'll go sit in the foyer." He takes one last look at Yeonjun before trailing back to the waiting area. His smile fades as he finally takes in the state of the older. He tried to not point it out, especially in the middle of his workplace, but he looked wrecked. Maybe it's just a depressive episode? Soobin wonders as he stares at the lilac blooms in his hand. He knows the older has some issues that give him stress. He assumes that's just wearing him down.
Yeonjun walks out to the foyer, giving Soobin a small smile. "You didn't have to do all of this."
"Too bad, I did." Soobin gives a chuckle. "Am I allowed to sit in the breakroom?"
Yeonjun gives a nod and leads him to a room toward the back. He reeks of cigarette smoke, and he's sure everyone else can smell it.
Opening the door to the backroom, it looks like an apartment kitchen with a small kitchenette, older refrigerator, random snacks, and other things on the counter. But, in the corner, there was a broken heating chair, an older model than the ones on the cutting floor. Yeonjun closes the door behind them. "I'm pretty sure no one's gonna come in here, especially since you're here."
Soobin places the bag and the flowers on the table, taking the cartons out of the bag and placing them respectively to each owner. "Oh, you talk about me?"
Yeonjun sits down at the table, grabbing a set of chopsticks and snapping them apart. "Here and there," he says after a pause. He begins to chew at his bottom lip, feeling negative tension between them. Soobin didn't sound like this earlier, did he?
Soobin sits down after haphazardly arranging the cartons, popping one open. "Makes sense." He pinches a bunch of noodles and blows on them. "I mean, we are dating." A pause. Soobin glances up to see Yeonjun picking at his food with the chopsticks. "We are dating... Aren't we?"
Yeonjun immediately feels full in his stomach at the weight of the question: the question he wanted to avoid. He stops pinching at the one noodle and stares a moment.
"Yeonjun."
The older one blinks a few times and resumes pinching the noodle. "Sorry."
"Answer the question."
"Why are you angry?" Yeonjun asks.
Soobin sighs. "Yeonjun, I'm not angry," he lies through his teeth. He's pissed. A pause falls while the two take bites, the older much slower. "Are you okay?"
Yeonjun pauses again at the question, only to force a smile and look at the younger. "Yeah..."
The one with lilac hair reaches across the table, delicately brushing his fingertips over the back of the older boy's hand, and letting it rest on top. "Have you been sleeping well?"
Yeonjun shakes his head, averting his gaze to their hands. "Not really."
"Wanna talk about it?"
Yeonjun shakes his head again. "Not really."
Soobin draws back his hand, resuming picking at his food. He's back to fuming. Sure, Yeonjun doesn't have to tell him what his problems are, but, after avoiding the dating question, avoiding him, he's annoyed. After swallowing a bite, food almost gone, he tries again, "So, what have you been up to?"
Yeonjun shrugs. "Work..."
Soobin leans back, arms crossed, waiting for him to finish his sentence in some way, any way. After a few moments, he makes an annoyed gesture. "That's it?"
Yeonjun glances at Soobin then looks down, "Sorry."
The younger laughs, annoyed. He turns his head to the side then back at the older. "No you're fucking not." He rolls his eyes, "You've been avoiding me for almost two weeks! I bring you lunch that you pick at, and can't even answer a damn question about yourself! Your-fucking-self, Yeonjun!" His voice raises an octave. "Could you just fucking look at me?!" He scoffs, "No, nevermind. Don't want to exhaust you. I can't ask much of you since we're clearly not even dating!" Soobin looks back at Yeonjun, who's been quiet the entire time. He opens his mouth to yell something else, but then he notices the older twitch- and again. His eyes chase the ridged outline of the upper half of his body, how it moves like the needle on a ritcher scale. "Shit..."
He springs out of his seat and crouches next to the older. In a gentle whisper, he asks for a response, "Junnie..?" Looking through the thick, layered fringe, he sees Yeonjun closing his eyelids tight, his bottom lip between his teeth, and his jaw clenched. "Hey, it's okay, baby... I'm sorry..." He goes to reach for the older's hands, pressed into his thighs. "Junnie..." He carefully, delicately touches his index finger to the top of his palm, causing the older to jolt. Soobin slightly draws his hand back. "Sorry... I didn't mean to startle you... But I'm going to touch you now."
With the warning, Yeonjun is more prepared for the contact. The same delicate touch, swirling patterns onto the soft skin of his hands. He slowly starts to release. Release the tension in his hands to grab Soobin's, the tension in his lids to let tears stream down, the tension is just jaw to hiccup a cry. "I-I'm sorry, Binnie..." His voice cracks.
Soobin shakes his head. "No, baby." He reaches out his hand but stops next to the older's cheek. "Can I touch your face?" After a nod of agreement, the younger slides his fingertips across Yeonjun's cheek, cupping it when his palm reaches. He doesn't expect him to lean into it or to face him. "There you are..." He cheers with a warm smile.
"You're right, Binnie... I'm sorry... I should open up to you more... You're my boyfriend..."
"No, I'm sorry. I should not have yelled. I knew better and I fucked up because I'm selfish." Soobin wipes a tear. "I should have given you your space."
"No, I'm a problem..."
Soobin furrows his eyebrows. "Now, who told you that?" Yeonjun goes to answer but shuts his mouth. "You are anything but a problem. You're gorgeous, funny, talented-"
"But I don't like myself," Yeonjun blurts out, cutting off the younger.
"But I love you." Soobin gives a cheesy grin. "See, love is over like so I win."
Yeonjun knows he's playing, trying to make him smile, but he's stuck on the other’s first words. "You love me?" It comes out more disgusted sounding than intended.
Soobin sputters, "Well, don't act like I'm gross to be around. I brought you flowers and lunch." Yeonjun giggles at the younger's rebuttal, making him smile. "Yes, Yeonjun. I love you. I'm completely enamored every time I'm around you. I feel like I'm around a celebrity."
"Oh, so you're my sexy bodyguard?" Yeonjun jokes.
Soobin playfully rolls his eyes, taking his hand off of Yeonjun's cheek, and tapping his finger under his chin. "There you are." He leads the older closer by the finger under his chin and into a rose-colored kiss.
-----
Soobin's parents are in Jeju for the weekend, a small vacation before the holiday season. He took the opportunity to invite over Yeonjun, saying he can spend the night if he wants. He didn't actually expect him to show up with a bag, thinking his parents wouldn't let him and so early in the relationship. But he smiles, giving his boyfriend a peck at the door and inviting him in.
"I told my mom I was going out drinking with some coworkers and I was gonna stay with them for the night. She surprisingly let me." Yeonjun lets out a chuckle, excited for the night. The temporary dye of the yellow ends has faded out, leaving a delicate blonde shade.
Soobin closes the door and meets the older's bright smile with his own. "Well, I'm happy you're here." He looks at his bag and realizes something. "Oh! Here, you can put your stuff in my room." He leads Yeonjun through the apartment, opening the door for his room and turning on the light. The room isn't really decorated, just a few posters, a bookcase, a desk, a TV on top of clothing drawers, and a bed.
Yeonjun sets his bag next to the clothing drawers, looking around his room. "It's tidy."
"Yeah, I may have cleaned before you came," Soobin answers awkwardly. "Don't want you to think I'm a slob."
Yeonjun turns to face Soobin and walks toward him. "I'd still love you if your room was messy." He wraps his arms around the younger's neck.
Soobin puts his hands on the older's waist, pulling him close. "Hmm, really?"
"I could prove it, make a mess later," Yeonjun mumbles, moving closer to Soobin's lips.
"Goddamn..." Soobin mumbles back before pressing their lips together. It isn't fast, it isn't slow, not rough, but not gentle either. Their tongues communicate a mission, their bodies moving them to the destination.
Soobin sits on the edge of the bed, letting Yeonjun climb on and straddle his lap, reconnecting the kiss that was broken. The younger holds the other at the waist for support, letting his hands inch down. They let their lips indulge for a while before Soobin breaks away, but reconnects at the elder's jawline. Yeonjun gives a soft moan in response, fluttering his eyes shut. "Binnie..."
Soobin pulls away to look at Yeonjun. "Yes, baby..?"
"I love you..." Yeonjun mutters, "So much..."
Soobin grins, reaching a hand up to his cheek to gently caress it. “I love you too, baby." He feels his shirt begin to lift up, so he helps take it off.
▪︎
Later that night, the two watch a movie, cuddled up in Soobin's bed. Empty cartons of take out sit on his side table. Yeonjun readjusts his cheek on Soobin's shoulder, making the younger look at him with a loving smile. He can tell the older is getting tired, so he grabs the blanket and brings it up a bit more, planting a kiss on the top of his head, causing the older giggle.
Soobin giggles too. "What's so funny?"
"Not funny, just happy." Yeonjun nuzzles into Soobin's shoulder. "I've never been loved like this. It's refreshing. Warm."
"Oh my gosh," Soobin blurts, making Yeonjun look at him, propping himself up. "I forgot, I got you flowers again. They're in the kitchen." Yeonjun gently smacks Soobin's chest, making the younger one laugh. "What? I thought you liked flowers?"
"You scared me! I was all sappy and you cut me off." Yeonjun pouts. "But I do love flowers."
"I got roses. I don't know much about flowers and their meanings but I figured you did, since you knew lilacs off of image alone. I thought it was lavender."
"The traditional flower of love. It's cute." Yeonjun smiles widely.
Soobin shakes his head. "No, I could have done more research, got a better, not cliché kind. I just thought about it as I was leaving work."
"Soobin, it's really sweet. No one before has ever thought to get me flowers. It means a lot." He pauses, biting at his lip. "My mom really loved flowers. Taught me all about them as a kid. I just found it so fascinating that simple things could hold so much meaning. And you prove it. Flowers are simple and cheap, but you saw off of one name drop that I liked them. You care a lot and no one's cared like that before."
Soobin smiles kindly at the older, moving his hand to his cheek. "I care about you so much because I am so in love with you. I'd find a way to the moon if it meant your happiness."
Yeonjun's eyes quickly begin to water at his boyfriend's words. Unable to hold back tears, he coughs a sob. Soobin doesn't understand, but he jumps to his boyfriend's aid. "Shhh..." he coos, bringing up his other hand to wipe his tears. "It's okay, baby. I'm here."
Yeonjun shakes his head and says through sobs, "I-I don't deserve this."
"Yeonjun..." Soobin frowns. "Honey, you deserve love and I want to love you." He sits up, motioning the other into his lap. He obliges as the younger wraps his arms around him, pulling him close. He rubs shapes into the olders back as he cries into Soobin's shoulder, dampening his shirt. "I want you to calm down before I ask questions, but take your time. I'm here and it's okay to cry." The sobs are restrained but heartbreaking. His breathing shakes with every inhale. But he eventually cries himself out, resting his head in the crook of Soobin's neck. Soobin turned off the TV at some point, but Yeonjun is not exactly sure when. All he knows is that it's quiet and dark and that Soobin is warm and comforting. Yeonjun knows he must have drawn a masterpiece on his back with how long he's been crying, because everything Soobin does is golden to him. "Baby?" The delicate tone of his boyfriend rings in his ears. "Are you okay now?"
Yeonjun gives a nod with a cracked, "Y-Yeah..."
"What happened? What's going on in your pretty head?" Soobin asks carefully.
It takes a moment for Yeonjun to answer. "Just... Going so long believing I don't deserve love. And hearing how much you love me... Just a lot..."
"Junnie, baby, look at me."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "No, I have ugly cry face."
"That's impossible. Nothing about you is ugly." Slowly, Yeonjun lifts his head to look at Soobin. The younger one flashes a smile, moving his hands to both of Yeonjun's cheeks. "So beautiful..." Yeonjun gives a pout but Soobin pecks his lips, kissing it off. "You deserve love and to be loved. Anyone who told you otherwise or made you feel otherwise, they can fuck off. I am so in love with you, Junnie, and if I can't love and cherish you, treat you like the royalty you are, then I have no purpose in this world." Soobin inches closer to Yeonjun's face. "I am so goddamn in love with you. Nothing will stop that because you are precious to me."
Yeonjun's lip begins to quiver as his eyes spill tears again. He shuts his eyes tightly, trying to hold them back and feels Soobin wipe them away, then his lips on his own. He slowly tries to move his lips with Soobin's, eventually being able to move them perfectly. The kiss tastes like tears for a few seconds before being enveloped in the younger's taste. The two carefully kiss for a few more moments until Yeonjun pulls away. He swallows before inhaling, trying to keep a steady breath, and wipes his tear stained cheeks. He mumbles quietly, "I'm sorry..."
"Don't be." Soobin reassures him, "It's okay. I'm always here for you." He reaches his hand up and moves Yeonjun's bangs away from his face. "Do you want to lay down?"
Yeonjun nods to the question, letting Soobin readjust their position so they are facing each other on the pillow, noses close enough to touch. He gently caresses the older's cheek with his fingertips, occasionally under his jaw or through his bangs. After a while, with Yeonjun's eyes closing shut, he mumbles, "I love you, Binnie..."
"I love you too, Junnie."
-----
The two lay under a tree in the park on a cold December night, cuddled up to each other. Soobin mindlessly strokes his fingers through Yeonjun's yellow ends as Yeonjun picks at a button on Soobin's jacket. After two months of seeing each other, two months of kissing each other, two months of falling in love with each other, they find the other's presence warm, exciting, and enjoyable.
"Still no plans for Christmas?” Soobin asked. “It's in a few days."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "No. We don't do anything."
"You could come to my place. Meet my family. They're more than welcoming."
"I, uh, appreciate it. But I can't," Yeonjun awkwardly answers.
"Why not?" Soobin lifts his head up a bit.
"Uh," Yeonjun pauses. "We don't do anything because of volunteer work." He pauses again. "Like, hospitals, and stuff."
Soobin lays his head back down. "Oh, well that's nice. Why didn't you tell me?"
Yeonjun shrugs. "Thought you would find it weird."
"No, it's weird you don't do anything for the holidays, not that you volunteer for the holidays. Big difference." The couple stayed quiet for a while, enjoying each other's warmth.
"I-I.. Uh... I haven't smoked in a few weeks," Yeonjun says out of the blue, making Soobin raise his head to look at him.
"Holy shit, really?" Yeonjun responds with a nod. Soobin smiles widely, cupping the older's cheeks. "That's so good. I'm so proud of you."
"I just.. Knew you didn't like it. So I quit because of you."
Soobin shakes his head with a chuckle. "No, baby. I didn't do anything. You're doing the hard work. You quit because you stopped." He brushes his thumbs against his cheeks. "Do you feel any better?"
"Yeah, a lot,” Yeonjun begins. "My lungs don't hurt anymore for one. My allergies are better too. I don't feel sick to my stomach either. I feel like a vacuumed car." He lays his head back down on Soobin's chest. "It's nice."
"I bet. But I'm so proud of you." He lays his head back down and starts to run his fingers through Yeonjun's hair. He closes his eyes for a few minutes, enjoying the time with his boyfriend.
"Binnie?" Yeonjun murmurs to the younger, cheek pressed into Soobin's chest.
Soobin barely opens his eyes. "Yes, my love?"
"Have you ever... Thought about the future?" Yeonjun freezes a bit, realizing the weight of the question. "Sorry if that's weird. You don't have to answer."
Soobin lightly chuckles at his boyfriend. "It's not weird. I think about it." He looks up through the dark leaves of the tree above them, through the barely shown stars due to surrounding light pollution. "Like, I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I don't want to be at a convenience store for the rest of time." He gives a shrug, "Maybe like a teacher or something. Not math though. Fuck math."
Yeonjun chuckles. "Yeah, fuck math." He swallows a bit and returns to an awkward tone, "I-I kinda meant us..."
"Oh." Soobin realizes. "Oh! Yeah... Yeah, I do... A lot actually." He gives a nervous chuckle. "If I'm being honest, I'm scared of fucking up so bad you leave. I-I've been scared since I yelled at you."
Yeonjun picks his head up to look at Soobin, somewhat hovering over him. "Why? I'm not leaving."
Soobin rests his hands on his own chest, tracing his sight along the older's features. "I lose my temper sometimes. But I want to get better, for you."
Yeonjun gives a small smile to the younger. "Why?"
"You're not worth losing, Junnie. You're so precious to me." The corners of his lips perk up at the older, "If I'm being blunt, I want you to be the last person I date."
Yeonjun's eyes widened at the confession, blinking a few times to process, "Binnie..."
Soobin chuckles again, bringing a hand to Yeonjun's cheek. "I love you so much, Yeonjun. You make me so happy."
Yeonjun leans down and quickly closes the gap between them. A couple of smiley kisses, a familiar warmth that keeps them lingering each time their lips connect.
Soobin hums during a kiss, pulling away slightly. "Everytime we kiss, it reminds me you're my person..."
"Person?" Yeonjun leans back up to look at the lilac haired.
"Yeah, like everyone has a person that comes into their life they're meant to be with."
"So, a soulmate?" Yeonjun questions.
"Yeah, but not as complicated. Love doesn't have to be complicated."
Yeonjun internally shrinks at the comment. "I mean, sometimes. Sometimes love is a trial."
Soobin shakes his head, "No, life is a trial. Love is a teammate. They help make the trials easier, as hard as they may be." Soobin doesn't understand why Yeonjun looks like he's seen a ghost. He looks at him for a bit, worried he set off something in his brain. "Baby? You okay?"
Without much expression, the older one responds quietly, "Yeah... Yeah, I'm okay..."
"Did I say something?"
Before Yeonjun can answer, his phone begins to ring. His face goes white when he sees the caller ID. "Shit..."
"What's up?"
"M-My.... My mom's calling. We went over." Yeonjun presses answer and turns down the volume on the speaker. "Hey-... I-I went out."
Soobin watches his boyfriend carefully, noticing something strange about the situation.
"I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'll be home soon. I'm so-"
Soobin notices Yeonjun beginning to shake, grabbing his free hand immediately and caressing it carefully. Tears begin to prick at the older's eyes as the call ends. He swallows harshly on his own saliva, trying to make himself calm down. "Baby..." Soobin whispers.
"Soobie, I have to go," Yeonjun says. A dead look haunts his teary eyes.
"Is everything okay?"
"I have to go, Yeonjun repeats, pushing himself away from the younger to stand up.
"I can drive you-"
"No!" Yeonjun blurts out. "No, just. I'll be fine." He watches Soobin start to get up. "I have to go. I'm sorry. I love you." He begins to run out of the park.
-----
A week later, two days after Christmas passes, the couple go on another date. It consists of a nice, pricey dinner and a walk around the remaining light park from Christmas until the lights turn out. The two walk back to Soobin's car in the empty parking lot, huddled close for warmth in the frigid winter air.
The two hurry inside the car, Soobin starting it and getting the heat running. As it quickly begins to warm, Yeonjun takes off his jacket and tosses it into the backseat, exposing his long sleeve, black turtleneck.
The entire night, Soobin felt a different vibe from Yeonjun. He didn't want to say he was one minor inconvenience away from a mental breakdown, but it sure did look that way. He didn't want to comment, but he lightly smelled of cigarette smoke and a tinge of alcohol. But he's depressed. It doesn't seem like his family takes a better initiative. He probably just needed a night out due to the stress of holidays.
"Soobin, can you kiss me?" Yeonjun asks out of nowhere.
Soobin finds it a bit odd but obliges, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a kiss. Yeonjun immediately turns it into a deep, lustful kiss, tugging his jacket, pulling him closer. Soobin climbs on top of Yeonjun in his passenger seat and continues to kiss him. He reaches down and pulls on the lever to release the seat, pushing them both down. Yeonjun tugs on the younger's belt loops, pulling him down closer. Soobin puts his body weight on the other, taking note of how much more eager he is tonight, but follows step, pushing his tongue past his lips, garnering a soft moan. The two taste at each other like a five course meal, and they've been starving.
Soobin trails kisses down to Yeonjun's neck, tugging the collar of his turtleneck down. He feels the older's heartbeat bang against his chest, but he just takes it as the heat of the moment.
He pulls away a bit to regain his breath but catches the sight of deep, ugly bruising. He knows he didn't cause that. Hickies don't look like fingers.
Yeonjun forces Soobin's hand off of the fabric of his collar, pulling it back up his neck. "I shouldn't have let you kiss there."
"What is that?" Soobin asks firmly.
"Nothing." Yeonjun shoots back with the same tone.
"Something." Soobin keeps his tone.
"Nothing. Drop it."
"Yeonjun."
"Soobin."
"What the fuck is going on?"
"Nothing."
Soobin's voice begins to tremble from anger and hurt. "My boyfriend has bruises on his neck.. I have a right to know why."
Yeonjun looks away from Soobin, out of the backseat window. "Maybe you don't."
"Yeonjun, fucking tell me. Are your parents hurting you?"
Yeonjun doesn't mean to, doesn't even want to, but he coughs out a sob, then another. He closes his eyes, trying to make himself stop crying. Soobin immediately leans back down, comforting his boyfriend, enveloping him in a hug. But he pushes him off. "Binnie... I've been lying to you."
"Junnie?"
"I-I'm in another relationship."
Soobin sits straight up, looking down at his boyfriend in disbelief. Processing the sentence he just heard, connecting it to the bruises, he shakes his head. "I- I need some air..." He opens the passenger door and exits his car.
Watching him leave, the tears fall faster, unable to keep himself together. He gets up and follows Soobin to the curb he sits on. "Binnie, listen to me."
Soobin stands back up and turns around, "What?! I already figured it out!" he shouts, making Yeonjun take a step back.
"No, you don't understand!" he shouts. "When we have dates, he's at work. It's the only time I can get some peace." He stares at Soobin's eyes with his wet ones, waiting for him to look back. "I owe him. He took me in when I lost everything, paid for me to have a better life." He takes a breath to help ground himself before breaking into a sob. "But I can't take it anymore... I-I can't." He pauses, trying to find the courage to speak about his other relationship, "He doesn't love me, he doesn't kiss me, only other people. If I do enough for him, then maybe I'll feel a bit of love as a reward. He makes me do things for him while he lounges around. I tried to talk to him about it, saying I would leave... He hit me." Soobin finally meets Yeonjun's eyes as his tears fall more violently, "It's a cycle! I confront him, he gaslights me, then hurts me!" The last part he says through a choking sob, falling to a crouched position to comfort himself, "B-Binnie, I can't tell if you've ever lied to me, he's fucked my brain so bad!"
Soobin kneels in front of Yeonjun, pulling him into a warm embrace. He pulls his jacket around the older as much as he can, letting him sob the pain out. "How much longer do you have until he gets back?"
"Wh-What?" Yeonjun stammers, tears dripping from his chin.
"How much longer until he gets off of work?" Soobin reaches his hand to Yeonjun's chin, running his finger across the bottom to catch the tears, then uses the sleeve of his jacket to try and dry his cheeks.
Yeonjun reaches into his pocket with shaky hands, pulling out his phone. He unlocks the screen. "T-Two hours."
He leaves a gentle kiss on his head, cupping his cheek and caressing with his thumb. "I need you to hear me out when I say this. Okay, baby?" Yeonjun gives a nod. "We're going to pack up as much as we can and you're going to come stay with me."
Yeonjun shakes his head violently, the sobbing starting again out of fear. "No! A-Absolutely not. It's too dangerous."
He narrows his gaze toward Yeonjun, his voice strict again. "I'm not letting you go back to that apartment by yourself. Either we get your stuff tonight or my paycheck is going toward getting you new essentials. You are not going back."
Yeonjun takes a moment to silence his tears, feeling Soobin rubbing his back, then nods. "Okay..."
"Okay?"
"I- I have mementos there."
Soobin helps Yeonjun up and walks him toward his car. "Then let's go get them." He fixes the passenger seat for him before helping him in. After Soobin gets in and buckles in, he speeds off to the apartment.
Looking out the window, seeing the city speed by, Yeonjun speaks up, "My parents are dead."
Soobin glances over, long enough to locate his hand, and grabs it, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry, love."
"The last bit I have of them is at the apartment." He looks at their intertwined fingers, "They would have loved you." As scared as he is, he smiles a bit, reminiscing, "My mom... was... incredible. Kind and wonderful. Strong willed and pure. She could tell you a meaning to anything ordinary... She was crafty too." He sniffles, indicating to Soobin tears begin to fall. "She would take me to the flower shop as a kid and tell me so many amazing things about flowers... When you brought lilacs that day, I realized it may have been a sign of sorts, from her. They were her favorite." Yeonjun pauses a moment. "I've never loved until you. I've never felt loved until you."
Soobin stops at a red light, taking the moment to look at Yeonjun. He places his finger under his chin and delicately lifts his head. "You deserve to feel loved." His thumb brushes the edge of his jaw, covered in the glow of the red light. "May I love you?"
"Will you..?"
"Forever and more."
Like instinct, the two meet in the middle for a kiss as soft as petals, as wet as the morning dew, as warm as a sunrise, as calm as birds chirping you awake. With a familiarity of the soft sheets of your own bed, the hunger resolved like the first bite of a syrupy pancake.
Seeing the change of light through their closed lids, they pull apart, Soobin still gazing at his boyfriend. "I love you, Yeonjun."
Yeonjun smiles back at the younger. "I love you, Soobin."
▪︎
The two walk into Yeonjun's apartment. He turns on the lights, exposing horrible stories. Dents in the sheetrock, glass on the floor from a broken lamp, the furniture just slightly skewed from even. Soobin's heart breaks at the sight, but wants them out faster, so his boyfriend doesn't have to see this again. He places his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and softly says, "Hey... Let's get to packing."
Yeonjun nods, leading them to the master bedroom, flicking on those lights. He moves to the closet, opens it, and grabs a box from the top shelf. The box reads 'Eomma and Appa.' Yeonjun looks at Soobin and says, "I want to take this out now. This is my priority."
Soobin nods. "Do you want me to take it for you?"
Yeonjun looks back at the box, then shakes his head. "I've got it."
They both make their way out of the bedroom, but not before the door unlocks and creaks open. The couple freeze as the other man comes in. He's taller than the two, but not by much. He's a bit older, about 30. He dorns a gray suit. He pulls at his tie, then makes eye contact with the two, more importantly, Soobin. The man clears his throat, "Yeonjun, who is this?"
The blonde tenses up, inching closer to Soobin. "Chinhae, what are you-"
"I told you the wrong time since I figured you were still sneaking out. So, introduce me." Chinhae snaps, stabbing his gaze into Yeonjun. Then he breaks into a chuckle. "Oh, this is the boytoy that's been keeping you out. What a delight." After a loud silence, Chinhae breaks it, "Yeonjun, what did I say about others at the apartment? Your mom would be ashamed of you disobeying rules."
Soobin furrows his eyebrows at the man. "Hey, don't speak to him like that."
"I didn't fucking talk to you, did I?!" the eldest raises his voice. "Actually, it would make things easier if you just got the fuck out." The couple doesn't move an inch, causing anger to build up in the man. "Move before I make you."
Yeonjun begins to tear up, letting them streak down his pale face. "I'm sorry, Soobin. I don't think I can leave."
"Yeonjun, I'm not leaving without you and your parents stuff," Soobin's voice is stern but soft.
Chinhae moves closer to the couple. "Oh, the mommy and daddy box. A shame we never got to meet."
His eyes are on the box, and Soobin sees that. He steps between him and Yeonjun, eyes burning with malice. "Do. Not. Touch. That. Box."
Another step and the two are eye to eye, toe to toe. Neither one of them with plans of backing down. "Oh, you don't know who you're fucking with, kid."
"An egotistical dickhead," Soobin spits at Chinhae.
In a second, the lilac haired has a fist in his face, making him fall to the ground, his skull colliding with the hardwood floor with a thud. Yeonjun shrieks as he's thrown down, fear radiating through him when Chinhae looks at him. He takes a step toward Yeonjun, but is stopped by Soobin clinging to the man's leg. Chinhae tries to kick him off. "Fucking let go of me! God, you're pissing me off!" he shouts. He kicks his leg free and slams it down into Soobin.
The scream from Soobin set off alarms for Yeonjun. He can't just stand there. He has to move. He has to fight back.
Yeonjun sets down the box gently, making sure it's out of the way. Then without any hesitation, slams into Chinhae, tackling him and away from Soobin.
Chinhae is taken aback by seeing Yeonjun above him, realizing he is the one that took him down. "Seriously? All that for different dick. Fucking pathetic." He flips them over, pinning him to the ground by his throat, knowing he's actually not that strong. The younger grabs at the hand around his throat, but to no avail. He knows Soobin is down, he's hurt. He uses his last bit of air to scream for help, hoping that someone will hear. But not for long. A splitting pain felt at his skull for a second before everything goes black.
◇
"Yeonjun, honey!" a sing-song voice calls to the boy. He opens his eyes to see a familiar figure and his childhood bedroom.
"Eomma..." His voice comes out groggy but prepubescent. Dark brown ends come down to the top of his sight as he fully opens his eyes. He's a kid again. He's with his mom again.
She smiles at the boy, kind and warm. Her eyes bend to a crescent. "I'm going to the flower shop today. Do you want to go?" He nods eagerly, hopping out of bed and straight to his feet. His mother laughs at the boy and his enthusiasm. "Get ready, dear. I'll make you some breakfast."
Like a time shift, he and his mother are wandering around the shop. She holds a basket with some filler buds, the typical white ones.
"Your aunt wanted a bouquet for the start of summer. Something warm and lively." She stands in front of a set of similar flowers of different shades, she kneels down to the boy's height, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe they have these!" she exclaims, reaching for the pommed bunch.
Yeonjun looks at the tiny blooms of purple and white, all bunched together in a tiny horde. He reaches out and delicately touches the petals, feeling the silky texture of them. "What are these?"
"Lilacs,” she says, looking at them. "They only bloom for a short time in spring, but they're one of my favorites." She holds them close to her son's face. "Smell them."
Yeonjun giggles then sniffs the blooms. They're sweet, almost too sweet. If he smelled them any more, he's sure it would give him a cavity. "Ooh, pretty!"
"Remember that scent, okay? It's said that, if you smell lilacs, your guardian angel is telling you something important." She puts the blooms in her basket with a few more. "The purple of lilacs represent first love, the white represents purity. Having them close can banish away evil serpents, like the burning aster, and negative energy." She pauses and smiles, looking at her son. "I met your father over a bouquet of lilacs. Maybe you will meet your love like that too someday."
◇
He's awoken to the scent of a burning aster.
A light shines by his eyes a few times, forcing him to squint hard to block it. He turns his head slightly to the side, hearing a sigh of relief and a different voice. "Choi Yeonjun is conscious, but he still needs medical attention. Oxygen and a cold compress."
Yeonjun sputters a cough, realizing he can't really breathe. It's difficult. But a scent of lotus surrounds his nose as well as the coolness of aloe to his temple. Or maybe it's lavender to help with the raging headache.
"Eomma, I'm sorry."
Soobin. He hears Soobin.
He opens his eyes, just a bit, in the direction of the sound. Soobin is kneeled close to him, phone to his ear. That's when he hears him talk about the night. Then he sees the gauze in his nose.
His lilac boy.
Yeonjun's eyes shoot open and he jolts, sitting up and away from the wall he's leaning against. He's still in the apartment. But there's paramedics, police, and the new neighbor from next door.
"Woah, hey there. Don't wear yourself out." The paramedic in front of him cautiously tries to push him back down.
"My stuff," Yeonjun mutters beneath the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. "My parent's stuff."
Soobin looks at him, putting the phone to his shoulder, and gives him a gentle smile, "Hey, Junnie. Don't worry. It's in my car." He puts the phone back to his ear. "Hey, eomma? Can you hurry, please? I'll send you the address... I love you." Soobin puts his phone in his pocket and focuses on Yeonjun.
"What's going on?" Yeonjun asks. He reaches for Soobin.
Soobin grabs his hand and squeezes gently. "Chinhae is being arrested. When you're stable, the detective is going to ask questions about the relationship."
Tears begin to form in Yeonjun's eyes, falling faster and faster until he can barely hold back a sob. Soobin wraps his arms around the older, carefully holding him close.
"Baby, shhh..." He gently places a kiss on his head. "You don't need to overwork yourself right now. Just breathe."
The two stay close until Soobin's parents show up, escorted in by an officer. Soobin's mom rushes to him, enveloping him in a tight hug.
"Choi Soobin, never do this to me again. God!" She pulls away and grabs his face, examining him, "Are you okay? Oh my God, your nose!"
Through squished cheeks, Soobin mumbles, "Eomma, please..."
"This is serious, Soobie!"
"Eomma, I'm fine. This is about Yeonjun." He shakes his head out of his mothers hands.
She turns her head toward the boy against the wall and frowns. "Oh my god..."
"Eomma!" Soobin blurts, "I wasn't going to say anything!"
Soobin's mother ignores her son, taking a closer look at Yeonjun's state. The sympathetic look on her face reminds him of his mother when he would fall and scrape his skin as a kid. She gently touches the spot on his head as he winces, "Taehyunnie's mother could help more with this."
"This?" Yeonjun asks.
"Possible concussion with deep bruising. But I'm not a medical professional."
The paramedic helping him earlier steps in, beginning to remove the oxygen mask from Yeonjun. "No, you're right. Will you be taking care of him?" She nods in response. "Just make sure he stays awake for a few hours. He was out for a while. Advil and water, no tough or crunchy foods. Recommended he stays home from work the first few days."
She gives a nod. "Thank you."
Once the mask is removed, and the paramedic leaves, Yeonjun is questioned by the detective about the relationship. About 45 minutes of detailing, enough to guarantee he'll be behind bars for a while. But he doubts it. Chinhae is a lawyer.
The four of them go home, Soobin's parents letting the two be alone. They lay in Soobin's bed, cuddled together in the dark bedroom. Yeonjun keeps forming conversation to keep himself awake. "Your dad doesn't really talk, does he?"
Soobin tries to hide his yawn but fails, talking mid yawn, "Not really. But I can tell he likes you." He hums and stretches a bit. "Once you get to know him more, he'll open up."
Yeonjun smiles. "Kinda how my dad was. He wasn't the most outgoing person, but my mom was. He died when I was nine so I don't have many memories of him. Just ones of us playing games or how he loved my mom." His smile fades into a frown. "He died in a car accident. My mom passed away from cancer when I was seventeen. I got my permit, just so I could drive her to her chemo treatments when she was getting worse. I styled wigs for her, which made me choose cosmetology." He chews on his lip for a bit. "That's how I met Chinhae. He was helping with the post-mortem will and how I would survive."
Soobin shakes his head. "What a piece of shit for taking advantage of you."
Yeonjun takes a breath. "Thank you, Binnie. For everything."
"No need to thank me, love."
"No, you got me out of an awful situation. You listened to me when I was cheating on you... I owe you."
Soobin lifts his head, making Yeonjun lift his head up too. The younger one cups both of his cheeks and says in a serious tone, "You don't owe me a damn thing, Yeonjun. He may have thought you owed him something, but you owe me nothing. I give you my love because I want to, not because you earned it."
"But I cheated on you."
"I don't care," Soobin states. "I love you, and I wanted you to get out of a bad environment."
Yeonjun sighs, "Okay... I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize either. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Yeonjun finds his way out of Soobin's hands, hiding his face in his chest. "I'm a piece of work,” he muffles.
"No, you're dealing with years of trauma." Soobin runs his fingers through Yeonjun's hair. "Have you thought about a psychiatrist though? They're going to know a lot more about trauma than I do."
"I-" Yeonjun pauses. "Chinhae wouldn't let me."
"And he's in jail." Soobin continues stroking Yeonjun's yellow locks, "I care about you. Seeing you these months and now realizing the weight of the situation, I worry about your mental health. I think it's more than I can heal on my own. Of course I can listen closely and kiss you sweetly, but I can't pull you out of the labyrinth in your head."
Yeonjun stays quiet for a few minutes, readjusting his head so he's laying back on his cheek. He ponders on the idea of calling a psychiatrist, because maybe there is something wrong with him. The abuse did nothing for his mindset, even Soobin sees it. He just doesn't want anything to be wrong with him.
"Soobin?" he finally speaks up. Unfortunately he gets no verbal answer, just a quiet snore. He gives a sigh then reaches for his phone on the side table, unplugging it and pulling it close to his face. He reads the time, 3:26 AM. Just a few more hours until his boss wakes up, and he can tell her that he can't come in, then he can try to go to sleep. So, he decides to do what everyone with questions does: Type his life into the Naver search bar.
-----
New Year's Eve and the Choi's decide to spend it with the Kang's. After dinner, as Soobin's parents are washing dishes, Taehyun's mom is examining Yeonjun's injuries. She applies some rubbing alcohol to a wound on his head, making him draw back in pain.
"Oh, I know, honey. I'm trying to make sure this doesn't get infected," Taehyun's mom says, dabbing the soaked cotton ball onto his wound.
Soobin, Taehyun, and Yoonsuh sit at the kitchen table, watching as Hyunsuh, Taehyun and Yoonsuh's mom, tends to Yeonjun.
Taehyun leans over to Soobin and asks in a whisper, "So, what happened?"
Soobin takes a second to think of a response, "Skating accident." Sure, he trusts Taehyun, but it's also none of his business. Yeonjun's situation isn't gossip. Sure, the arrest of Chinhae was public as he was a trusted lawyer in the area, but Yeonjun and Soobin were left anonymous by request. Anyone who knew of Chinhae and Yeonjun could figure out what happened, and it should be kept that way.
"You took him skating? That's dangerous." Taehyun says a little louder under the impression it's not a serious topic. Yeonjun darts his eyes to Taehyun then Soobin.
Soobin meets Yeonjun's gaze. "Yeah, I know now."
"But it was worth it." Yeonjun gives a smile to his boyfriend.
Yoonsuh pipes up, "I like skating. Tyun, we should go skating tomorrow."
Hyunsuh reaches for a gauze and medical tape. "Yoonie, no. We're visiting your grandmother tomorrow."
Yoonsuh groans and sulks down into her chair, "Lame. I want to go rollerblading, not wear a hanbok and hear about the communists again."
"How about next weekend?" Taehyun offers.
She gives a teenage sigh. "Fine."
Soobin and Yeonjun chuckle at her dramatic nature. Hyunsuh steps away from Yeonjun and begins to gather her first aid supplies. "If that gives you any trouble, which I doubt it will, call me." She shakes her head, mainly to herself. "I really don't like that they didn't request a CAT scan, especially with those headaches you were having for a bit."
"They said it wasn't that serious," Soobin adds.
She rolls her eyes. "EMTs are supposed to only give first aid and any kind of CPR. They're not really supposed to treat on the scene. That's why they have a transport vehicle."
"That's dumb. Why would they do that then?" Soobin asks.
Hyunsuh answers- coded, so her kids don't figure it out-, "Maybe because of the scene and bystanders ." She emphasizes the replaceable words, "It was quite busy with a lot of eyes , and I didn't want to completely ruin the reputation ."
Yeonjun somehow understands her, nodding to it. "I get it. It's a big deal."
Taehyun raises an eyebrow. "This doesn't sound like roller skating anymore."
Soobin pats Taehyun's shoulder in a subtext to get him to stop. "Not everything has a deeper meaning."
*
The two families sit in the living room at 11:55pm, watching the countdown on a KBS channel. Soobin's parents sit on a loveseat, Hyunsuh and Yoonsuh sit on the couch, Taehyun in a chair, and Yeonjun and Soobin sit at the kitchen table behind them all, in their own world.
Yeonjun plays with Soobin's fingers at the corner they sit at. Soobin occasionally glances at the TV and everyone, but mainly cares for Yeonjun's company more.
"Thank you, for everything," Yeonjun speaks, quiet enough so the TV disguises their voices.
Soobin matches his tone, "Baby, you don't have to."
"I am, again." Yeonjun stops him. "You've made the last holiday of the year good, even if it's just a friendly, domestic get together. It's been the best one in years, since my mom passed."
Soobin grins at his boyfriend. "Then I will make sure that every holiday is good for you." Soobin pauses, looking at their hands. "Is there a flower for Seollal?"
Yeonjun hums, "Peonies are common since they represent good luck and fortune. Sometimes people throw in orchids for the same reason. My mom liked lucky bamboo. It was different but pretty. Sometimes she gave sunflowers to my aunt." He pauses a moment. "But I think lilacs are pretty lucky."
Soobin playfully gasps, "Yeonjun goes against tradition? The world is ending. Y2K was delayed."
Yeonjun giggles. "Shut up. I was trying to be romantic."
Soobin decides to keep teasing Yeonjun. "Maybe you should stick to innuendos."
"Still whipped over the mess comment?" The older one raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you made my depression corner sound sexy."
"Nuh uh, our depression corner now."
Soobin rolls his eyes. "You get 12% of my corner."
"Yeah, no, that's not what me being smothered by your blankets say."
"Well, maybe, if someone didn't turn into the sun's brooding step son every night."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Yeonjun gives a wink.
Yoonsuh yells from the living room, "Oh my God, ten seconds, make a wish!"
"That's for birthdays, dumbass." Taehyun fires back.
"Taehyun, language!" Hyunsuh snaps at her son.
The two chuckle at the Kang family, listening to the countdown of the MCs, all the way down to one. The two connect their lips for a sweet kiss, hearing the fireworks begin in the background, both from the broadcast and the ones at Han River. It reminds them of the kiss they first shared together, how they both knew they were in too far but didn't care. Soobin pulls away slightly, to mumble against the older's lips, "To many more..."
Before their lips can reconnect, Yoonsuh yells from the living room, "Ha! Gay!"
Soobin turns to face her, eyebrows furrowed. "Ha! Single!" Then, he sticks his tongue out at her.
-----
"I-I reconnected with a friend..." Yeonjun says, looking down at his phone. The two sit in the booth of a restaurant, a week after the incident. Yeonjun's head feels better, minus the bruise and healing cut still there. But nothing a side part couldn't cover up.
Soobin lets go of the straw from his lips with wide eyes. "How so?"
"I got a Facebook."
"Ooh~"
"This is my friend from beauty school. She sent me a friend request." He turns the phone to show Soobin her profile.
"Oh, she's cute!"
"She's so sweet, good lord. But the best thing is, her salon has an opening."
Soobin raises his eyebrows. "You gonna apply?"
"Hell yeah I am. This salon is full of stuck up bitches anyway. Jiwoo said her salon is so much fun. But, um..." Yeonjun trails off. "She asked about Chinhae since she saw his name in the news."
"Oh," Soobin says, letting Yeonjun continue.
"She wanted to make sure I was okay. While you were at work yesterday, I told her everything."
Soobin's eyes widened. "Oh? How did it feel?"
Yeonjun holds his breath for a moment to think, exhaling to speak, "Weird... But oddly... Good? I read that bottling things up isn't healthy. I just thought I was saving everyone the trouble of listening to my shit."
"Where did you read that?" Soobin asks, leading himself to clarify, "Not that it's wrong, just wondering."
"I... After our talk about me seeing a psychiatrist, I started searching questions in Naver, things from what an abusive relationship is to symptoms of disorders." Yeonjun shrinks a bit in his seat, feeling weird explaining the rabbit hole he's been on the past week.
"That's good," Soobin says, noticing Yeonjun shrinking. "It's always good to ask questions and do self research. It gets you on a good path."
"I-I think I found something that sounds like me..." He says mousey, but ashamed of it.
"And what is that?"
"Um..." He rushes out the name, but Soobin can still understand him. "Borderline Personality Disorder."
"Do you want to be tested for that?" Soobin genuinely asks. He waits for Yeonjun to respond patiently.
"Yeah..." Yeonjun answers. "Even if it's not it, it's too much of a mirror image of myself to not be tested."
Soobin nods. "Then set the appointment, and I'll ask off for that day."
Yeonjun also nods, followed by a scoff, "I felt silly saying all of that."
"Why?"
"It feels weird speculating such a big disorder."
"I mean, you went through some big shit. It's reasonable, and it helps the doctors out to give them an idea walking in."
▪︎
The couple sits in an office in front of a desk. Across from them is a lady with a clipboard jotting notes. They've been here a little more than an hour, with Yeonjun detailing his parents dying and his previous relationship, mainly the relationship. Occasionally she does a heavy nod to things he says then jots on her clipboard. This notes to Soobin more than Yeonjun that those are big symptoms.
After Yeonjun clarifies he's done, she looks over her clipboard again. She clears her throat before she begins speaking, "Yeonjun-ssi, I'm going to set you an appointment for next month. You mentioned you're a hairstylist so I will fit you in on a Monday." She scribbles a note at the top of her clipboard, circling it before looking up at him, "I don't diagnose unless I'm one hundred percent on it. I told you that walking in. But I'm one hundred percent, and I want to put you on an antipsychotic. Don't freak out- it's not as bad as you think. It just helps control the symptoms of BPD. Also, you mentioned taking a Prozac before your relationship? I want to put you back on that." She scribbles onto her clipboard again, then places it to the side, looking directly at him, occasionally glancing at Soobin, "Even though these two medications will be low dosage, you may have some negative side effects, such as amplifying your disorder for a short amount of time. That's normal, but what's not normal is potentially harming and endangering yourself. If this happens, call emergency services, so we can get you checked in to monitor you closer." She looks at both of them. "Do you two have any questions?"
"Would it be better if I stay home?" Yeonjun asks.
She shakes her head. "It would be better if you resumed normal life. Seclusion would result in an abnormal heightening of symptoms."
Soobin asks this time, "What should I do? I've never really been around disorders."
"Be yourself, which I assume is a good, supportive boyfriend. Do keep an eye on him though. Calm him down if need be."
▪︎
It wasn't until a couple of days later the negative side effects began. Most of the time at home, Yeonjun was asleep, the meds making him drowsy. Today, Soobin had to wake him up for dinner, so he did by laying down next to him and gently rocking him awake.
"Junnie? Junnie baby?" he says at a normal volume to disrupt his nap. "Can you wake up for me?"
Yeonjun groans, tossing himself into a different position, back facing Soobin.
Soobin gives a chuckle. "You're cute, but it's time for dinner, love."
Yeonjun groans again. "Leave me alone."
"I don't want you to skip a meal, babe."
"Leave me the fuck alone," Yeonjun grumbles harshly.
Soobin's taken aback by the hostility, turning his rocking into back scratches. "Baby? Are you okay?"
Yeonjun begins swatting at Soobin's hand behind him. "Stop touching me,” he groans at a louder tone.
Soobin pulls his hand away, still laying next to him. "Baby?"
"Stop, it's fucking irritating."
"Did something happen today?" Soobin props himself up to get a better look at Yeonjun.
That's when Yeonjun rolls onto his back, pointing an accusatory finger in his face. "I was having a peaceful fucking nap until you came in, annoying the piss out of me! Leave me the fuck alone. I'm not playing!" he yells at his boyfriend.
Soobin drew back with a frown, very concerned that he raised his voice. "Yeonjun, honey. You're having negative side effects."
Soobin could see the switch click in his brain, going from an angry defense to a weakened sob. Yeonjun covers his face with his hands, letting the sob control him. He tries to clearly say "I'm sorry", but it never sounds right.
"Yeonjun, honey, can I touch you?"
Yeonjun shakes his head. "My body feels weird,” he manages to say.
"Okay. Can you calm down so you can elaborate?"
Immediately, Yeonjun tries to force his sobbing away, making him tremble. "I-I feel like I'm j-jumping."
"I can reassure you that you're not, my love."
After a moment of Yeonjun closing his eyes and trying to breathe, he moves his hand toward Soobin. "C-Can you hold my hand?"
"Of course," he responds, carefully grabbing his hand. He gently rubs his thumb over his knuckles, letting Yeonjun tighten his grip if he needs to. "Baby, have you eaten today?"
Yeonjun shakes his head. "I've only had breakfast to take my pills."
"Okay. When you feel like you can move, I want you to come eat." Yeonjun nods.
A few minutes pass until Yeonjun sits up. He rubs his eyes with a yawn, the previous moments wearing him out again.
"Are you okay now?" Soobin asks cautiously.
Yeonjun nods. "Yeah, I think so." He looks over at Soobin with sad eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"It's okay. I understand. I'm a bit overbearing with you starting your meds." He scoffs at himself. "I just now know to give you your space when you need it."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "No, no, you did nothing wrong. I just got bitchy."
"Yeonjun, if you need your space, then say so. It's okay."
Yeonjun takes a breath in, holding it for a bit before exhaling. "Okay."
Soobin smiles at him. "Okay. Would you like to eat now?"
-----
Yeonjun looks at himself in the mirror, examining every detail of his outfit, his new black hair, his make up. It's his first day at the new salon after being hired. Jiwoo showed the owner his portfolio and she was in love with Yeonjun's style, and hired him through a phone call moments after.
"Baby, I get it- you're amazing to look at-, but it's been fifteen minutes." Soobin comes up behind Yeonjun, hugging him from behind and giving a kiss on his cheek. He's dressed in his uniform for work, a logo polo, khakis, and black shoes.
Yeonjun frowns, not at the affection, and places his hands on top of Soobin's. "I'm nervous."
"And why's that?"
"When I contacted clients, most weren't happy that I was downsizing and that it's a bit more of a drive. Some asked for me to take them off the list. Their prices aren't the same either, so it's a huge pay cut. I know we talked about getting an apartment, but I'm not sure if we can with this job."
"And that's okay," Soobin says, looking at Yeonjun's eyes in the mirror. "If we have to wait, then we'll wait. Your security is more important to me."
Yeonjun meets his eyes in the mirror, finally locking. "I love you. You make things sound so easy."
"I love you, Junnie. And you look really good."
▪︎
Yeonjun kisses Soobin's lips through the driver's window rolled down, slow and soft, definitely not your standard goodbye kiss. A few pecks later and another word of encouragement from Soobin and he drives off to work. Yeonjun stands watching the car go into the distance with his lip between his teeth.
A whistle cuts him out of his gaze, looking for the culprit. He turns around and sees a familiar face, "Damn, Yeonjun. Didn't know you could oscillate your tongue like an aircon." Yeonjun can't be embarrassed. He smiles widely, a bit of a laugh accompanied, at seeing his beauty school friend after a couple of years. Once the two get close enough, they pull each other into a tight, long hug. "I'm so happy to see you again." Her tone drops to a more serious one, as does his.
"Yeah... Me too," he breathily murmurs. She knows about what happened. She heard about the incident from one of her clients, then looked it up on her break. That's when she contacted Yeonjun. She didn't bring it up at first, but, when the conversation arose, she mentioned she contacted him after she heard about it and was surprised to see he made a Facebook. He told her everything, even about Soobin, and she loves him.
"Hey, I wasn't supposed to mention, but I saw he was your ride, so I will," Jiwoo begins, pulling her face away to look at Yeonjun, holding at his elbows in a pseudo-hug deal. "The girls and I are throwing a welcoming party tonight at the bar a few blocks down. He is more than welcome to come and get shitfaced with us. And yes, you're getting shitfaced. I will never forget your dumbass in beauty school slamming teques and-"
Yeonjun covers her mouth with his hand, his eyes wide and cheeks burned. "We don't talk about that!"
Jiwoo playfully rolls her eyes as Yeonjun drops his hand. "You don't talk about it. I do."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "I'll text Soobin when we get inside, but, if he comes, you better not say a word."
▪︎
Soobin said, "Sounds like fun! I'll dress up after my shift." So here they all are at a table in a bar, doing their first round of shots.
Jiwoo raises her shot glass of vodka toward Yeonjun across from her. "To our token gay!"
"I'll fuck you up," Yeonjun says with a laugh, making everyone else laugh.
"Okay but seriously." Jiwoo lowers her glass, "Yeonjun is one of the sweetest and genuine people in my life. Not often do you come across a smile that can heal. I'm so happy you came to join our fucked up little family, where Somin fucks up a client's hair every other week."
Somin raises her glass to that.
"Irene bitches about everything."
Irene furrows her eyebrows. "I absolutely do not."
"Ryujin, no matter who you are, where you're from, your skin color, or your identity as a woman, you will get hit on."
Ryujin, leaning back in her chair, winks at someone across the bar.
"Lia crying."
"I don't fucking cry, bitch."
"Yeji trying to leave early for whatever reason."
"My dog was sick," Yeji rebuttals.
"You don't have a dog," Irene retorts.
"And our lovely miss Boah, who's two seconds away from saying 'fuck it' and becoming a drug dealer."
"Can we hurry up and drink?" Boah asks.
Jiwoo smiles back at Yeonjun. "Whatever your quirk is, you'll fit in just perfectly."
Irene narrows her eyes at Jiwoo. "You didn't even say anything about yourself."
"Because I'm perfect," Jiwoo jokes back.
Boah, already done with her shot without flinching, butts in, "You call people ugly in English because most of them don't understand you." She flags down the bartender. "Yeah, got that review in. Threw it away. You're welcome." She smiles at the bartender that walks over. "Hi, can I have another shot of vodka? On her tab."
Jiwoo rolls her eyes, not bothered by it. "To Yeonjun."
Everyone else repeats, all downing their shots simultaneously.
After the group disperses to do their own things, Boah walks up to Yeonjun, who's watching Soobin at the bar. She pulls up a chair next to him and gives a kind smile, "Yeonjun-ssi?"
He turns to face her, a bit startled from the buzz he's accumulated. "Oh! Hi, miss Boah."
"Hi, sorry this is not an optimal time to tell you this. I wanted to address it today, but you seemed busy working and getting to know everyone- I didn't want to bother you. But Jiwoo told me why you came to our salon." Yeonjun's expression drops, not expecting her to know. Frankly, he didn't want his business out there. "Hey, don't worry. No one else knows. But, if he ever decides to come in, I put him on our banned list. No one touches my babies. Okay?"
His eyebrows raise at the notion. "Oh, um, thank you, miss Boah. It means a lot."
"Anytime, my dear." She then gestures to Soobin with her cup of beer. "Also, he's cute. Keep him."
Yeonjun flashes a wide smile. "Trying to. He's my world."
The two continue small talk until Soobin comes back with drinks. Boah excuses herself to let them be alone. "Your new coworkers are kinda cool."
"Yeah, no joke," Yeonjun says before taking a drink. "Also, Jiwoo didn't tell me about the lesbian. I thought her bisexuality was the only gay in the building. Everyone at the old salon was as straight as a board."
"Well, now you have a really safe and accepting workspace. I'm happy for you."
Jiwoo runs over to Yeonjun and Soobin, propping her hands on the table and staring down at Yeonjun. "Are you zingered yet?!"
"No," Yeonjun responds. "And I won't."
Jiwoo groans, "Bro, come on! That shit was so funny!"
"Absolutely not."
Soobin raises his eyebrows. "A drunk Yeonjun story? I need to hear."
Yeonjun turns to face his boyfriend, eyes serious. "Soobin."
"Yeonjun gets kissy!" Jiwoo blurts.
Yeonjun snaps at her, "Jiwoo!"
"In beauty school, Yeonjun got topsy-turvy on that barley-bree and-"
Yeonjun covers her mouth with his hand before she can blab on. "Shut the fuck up! It happened once!"
Jiwoo licks his palm, making him move his hand. "It was a lot more than once, I just told you about one of the times that night." That's when it dawns on him. Jiwoo is a lightweight. She's plastered.
"Jiwoo, honey. Go drink some water," Yeonjun tries to tell her.
"Yeonjun kissed five girls!" she blurts out.
"Five?!" both Yeonjun and Soobin yell out.
"You said one, maybe two," Yeonjun expands.
"Five," Jiwoo confirms. "I'm nice sober." Her eyes darted back to her original spot across the dance floor, "Also, I'm trying to dom that girl over there. Bye!" She escapes into the crowd of people.
Yeonjun lays his head down on the table in embarrassment. Soobin begins to draw circles on his back. He leans close to the older's ear. "I'm a kissy drunk too."
Yeonjun turns his head to look at Soobin. "Nuh uh?"
"Why do you think I got drunk on our first date? I wanted to kiss you." Soobin smiles, "I know it's not great to get drunk on a first date but I needed confidence."
"I understand." Yeonjun lifts his head with a smile. "It's kind of sweet in it's own way."
The younger leans in for a kiss, the older meeting halfway. The kiss doesn't last long until Soobin pulls away. "Girls?"
Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "I was desperate."
Soobin chuckles, "I don't think I'll ever be that desperate."
"Why be desperate when you have me? My lips are free ninety-nine."
"One day with Jiwoo and your vocabulary changes."
"Look, my vocabulary was fun before life wasn't fun anymore."
"So, are you saying life is fun again?"
Yeonjun pauses at the question, a bit too deep for his mindset at the moment. But a smile brings him to his answer as he smiles back. "Yeah... Yeah, life is fun again." He gives a chuckle, "Fuck it. Let's get plastered. We'll kiss each other."
Soobin giggles with the widest smile, "Sounds like a lot of fun." He leans in to place a kiss on Yeonjun's lips, then pulls away to head back to the bar.
-----
A month later, in early March, Soobin walks into the salon. He's greeted by the cheery smile of Lia behind the counter. "Soobin-ah! Yeonjun mentioned you'd come today."
He returns the smile, propping himself on the counter. "Yeah, he wanted to do my hair. He just hasn't told me what."
Her eyes widened. "You trust him?"
"Of course I trust him. I'm just worried because he's getting rid of the lilac."
Her expression changes. "Oh yeah, his mom. He told me during lunch one day." She shakes her head. "That's got to be heavy. Look out for him?"
He gives a nod. "I will." Then a sigh. "I told him I could keep the lilac forever, but he insisted for a change."
"Binnie!" Soobin turns his head to see Yeonjun walking toward him, the brightest smile with a tinge of ashy green to his black.
Soobin motions toward his boyfriend, giving him a quick peck on the lips, feeling him reciprocate. "Again, are you sure about this?"
Yeonjun grabs at a lock of hair, the fading purple making his hair feel a bit crunchy. "100%. Your ends are dead." He then leads Soobin to his newly decorated station, mostly pictures of them and a vase of daisies Soobin got recently. Soobin sits in the chair, letting Yeonjun put an apron over him.
"You know you can just touch up the lilac if you want." He looks at Yeonjun through the mirror in front of him.
Yeonjun looks at him as he's starting to mix chemicals. "Binnie, it's fine. I'm fine with this."
Soobin watches as he mixes the dye. He peaks over the lip and sees a rose color. "Red?"
"Rose," Yeonjun corrects, starting to section his hair, "like the bouquet you got me when your parents went to Jeju. I color matched it from the photo because they were such a pretty shade."
Soobin smiles at the memories. "I think that was the first time I saw you smile so big."
"It was definitely the first time you saw me cry."
As Yeonjun reaches for the brush, Soobin quietly teases him, "Most importantly, the first time we had sex."
Yeonjun smacks Soobin on the shoulder as his face turns the color of the hair dye. "Choi Soobin! Not at work!" he whisper-yells at him. Soobin giggles as Yeonjun starts painting his hair, "You're one more comment away from me washing your hair in the toilet."
"You're the one who told me to come." Yeonjun glares daggers into Soobin's reflection, which makes him laugh at the realization. "Hey, that one's on you. I was talking about here."
Yeonjun shakes his head. "I hate you."
"I love you too," Soobin responds with a smile.