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Castiel stretches his wings before lifting off and soaring through the air. He feels free when he flies. Not under any pressure, not under any expectations, not under any orders. He just feels free.
He flies everywhere, over oceans and busy cities, fields and rivers. He stops every now and then to admire the world more closely.
He hovers next to a pond and watches as the fish swim. He looks on at a group of children playing at a small playground, happy smiles on their faces and laughs of joy emitting from their mouths.
He stops at one of his favourite places. A garden in France. The flowers are in bloom and the yard is filled with every colour of the rainbow. Reds explode in one corner with blues littered beside them. There are white tulips in the middle surrounding a small fountain. It’s simple, but in the most beautiful way.
Butterflies surround bushes and dragonflies occasionally dip into the water. Birds bathe in the fountain and eat from the bird feeder. Bees buzz around the entirety of the garden.
Oh, how Castiel loves bees. They are one of God’s best creations, in his opinion. The delicacy of their wings and striking boldness of their yellow and black coats are amazing in contrast.
Before he can admire any longer, he receives revelation.
“Castiel, it is time to come home. Come back to heaven, there are new plans afoot.”
He takes one more moment for himself before returning to heaven.
-
Castiel flies through hell, his millions of eyes searching every corner for the Michael sword. It takes him a long time. He searches far and wide, swooping through every nook and cranny and looking around every corner.
He finally finds him. He’s torturing another soul. Castiel’s rings spin hurriedly in dread. This is the first seal. The apocalypse has begun.
He flies down and picks up the righteous man and holds on tight as he flails. He wraps him in his arms and lifts him up and up and up. He raises him from perdition and brings him to an uninhabited, secluded piece of heaven.
As they rise, the man’s body becomes less material. It becomes pure soul. It’s his very essence.
This section of heaven is quiet and dim, but not so dim that it resembles hell. It’s a soft kind of dim, with a light glow coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once.
Castiel holds the soul close, soothing its insistent cries. He holds him carefully, knowing that he must be gentle. A soul fresh from hell is a fragile thing.
Castiel continues clutching the man’s essence as he rebuilds his body.
Forming the man’s body takes time. He copies every atom, every molecule, he copies everything. Piece by piece, blood vessel by blood vessel, he builds him.
He makes everything just as it was. He keeps the crookedness of his fingers, broken many times from fights and other incidents. After much consideration, he shifts one of the man’s vertebrae to the left like it was before.
He remakes every freckle and every scar. He forms the small birthmark on his left leg, replicating the edges of it perfectly.
He can see why this man has been chosen. His body is… divine, Castiel supposes. Which is fitting, considering his destined purpose. His muscles, taught and strong. His body, knowing how to take a beating. His body, knowing how to give a beating. His hands, able to assemble a gun in a flash. His legs, built for speed. His arms, nearly as strong as steel.
He is a prime vessel.
He then sees a handprint on the man’s shoulder that he knows he did not make. He knows it was not there before. He realises then that he was the one that made the mark. It must’ve happened when they rose together. Exodus 20:17 rings in his mind over and over, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house.
He knows that he shouldn’t have let that happen, but the damage is done. But he can’t find it in himself to remove the mark, to fix it and leave him bare as he once was.
He knows he will regret it later.
Lastly comes placing the man’s soul back within his body. Castiel looks at him again, the light of his soul still bright, but flickering and littered with dark spots. He feels… something. Which is odd, considering that he is an angel of the Lord. He decides to ignore it for now, he’ll deal with that later. All that matters now is the vessel.
And despite it being against his orders, he tries to soften the dark spots, taking the things causing them and removing them. He only alters the worst parts. The rest he leaves. The soul is still damaged, and obviously so, but it’s better than before.
He gathers the righteous man’s soul and inspects it. He finds some of the memories within.
Memories of fireworks at night with his brother. Memories of long car rides and gas station stops in between. Memories of motel rooms late at night.
He also finds feelings.
Feelings of pain and love. Feelings of disgust and euphoria. Feelings of longing and desperation. Feelings of happiness and joy. Feelings of all kinds.
Castiel can feel them, yes, but he cannot feel them. Not in the way that humans can at least. They feel distant and barely there, small whispers of emotion, quiet and intangible.
He holds the soul for a while longer, knowing that his time is running out. He is supposed to be done in only a short amount of time, and yet he can’t find it in himself to let the man go. He feels a need to comfort him longer. To show the man that he is safe now and no longer in hell.
His time is up and he places the man’s soul in his newly remade body.
It’s time for the resurrection.
-
Castiel watches the man, Dean, he has learned, as he digs his way out of his grave and falls to the ground next to it. He watches as the man stands and looks at his surroundings in amazement. The trees around him are blown flat in an impressive display.
Castiel watches the man as he walks down the street and searches for any sign of life.
He watches as Dean finds a gas station and enters. Castiel grows curious and wonders if the man would be able to stand his true voice. He figures since he remade Dean that there might be a chance he could hear him.
Castiel speaks. “I am Castiel, an angel of the lord. Be not afraid for I am the one who raised you from perdition. I was ordered to raise you. You have been chosen as the—“ He cuts himself off at the sight of glass breaking and Dean covering his ears in pain.
Castiel was wrong.
-
Castiel watches as Dean reunites with his brother, Sam. They argue about how Dean could’ve come back. They automatically assume a demon deal, unknowing and unbelieving of the divine. He wishes then that he could speak to Dean. That he could tell all of them that he is the reason Dean is back. That he is the one who remade Dean. That he is the one who returned him to them.
By the end of their discussion they still haven’t come to a conclusion. Well, a correct conclusion. He watches as Sam asks his brother what hell is like. Dean says he doesn’t remember.
Castiel knows he is lying.
-
Castiel watches as they find a psychic-- Pamela --and prepare for a séance. The woman explains what they’re going to do and Castiel is wary. He knows this will end badly.
She chants, conjuring him, invoking him, commanding him. She wants to see his face. His true face. He warns her, telling her that she needs to turn back, that this is something she does not want to pursue. She doesn’t listen and continues to chant.
Castiel tells her repeatedly that she needs to stop. She doesn’t.
She is powerful, Castiel learns. Her words breaking him and making him show his true face.
The sight of him burns her eyes out.
He tried to tell her.
-
Castiel tries to speak to Dean again, to tell him how sorry he is about what happened to Pamela. How he never intended for anything like that to happen.
Glass shatters and ears bleed. His attempts are futile. Dean can’t understand him.
He needs to acquire his own vessel.
-
He has spoken with Jimmy before. A devout man, Castiel believes Jimmy will let him inhabit his body.
He finds him when Jimmy prays.
“So, I want to help you. I’m about to lose my-- my family here if you don’t tell me how. Please, Castiel, just talk to me. What do you want from me?”
And Castiel tells him, glad that Jimmy can hear his voice and not fall to the ground in pain. He tells Jimmy what it will be like, being a vessel. It is not always a pleasant experience.
Jimmy accepts, but with one condition. “Yes, I understand. Promise my family will be okay, and I’ll do it.”
Castiel promises him. He knows that he cannot always protect the Novak family, but he knows that he will try his hardest. He can only hope that it’s enough.
“Then… yes.”
“Thank you.”
-
He is being summoned. He knows who it is. He knows it’s Dean. He can finally talk to him now that he has a vessel.
He finds them in a barn. As he has just come into his vessel, not all of his power is contained. Some of it still escapes through the cracks. It is this that shakes the barn and blows the lights. He opens the door for himself and walks in, unphased by all that is happening around him.
He is hit with expected gunshots. They do nothing to him, of course, they don’t even knock him back in the slightest. He continues walking forward.
“Who are you?” Dean asks. He has a knife behind his back, Castiel knows. He doesn’t worry though, he knows he won’t be hurt by it.
“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition,” Castiel informs him.
“Thanks for that.”
Castiel nods at him in welcome before he is stabbed. Dean looks surprised when it does nothing to him. Castiel simply pulls the knife out before dropping it to the floor. Dean looks to the man behind Castiel-- Bobby --he recalls. The man swings at him with a crowbar that Castiel catches. He turns and touches the man on his forehead gently, sending him to the floor in unconsciousness.
“We need to talk, Dean.”