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i.
It all starts on the day when Aaron comes home looking upset, face white as a sheet as he walks through the door. Robert glances up from his seat at the kitchen table and frowns.
“Hey… you okay?” Aaron shakes his head wordlessly, sinking into the seat opposite him. “What’s the matter?”
It takes a minute to get him to open up, but soon enough it all comes spilling out. Shoulders hunched and eyes cast downwards, Aaron tells Robert about some bloke working at the newly-opened outdoor pursuits centre, a staff member called Ben. Ben who Aaron once knew many years ago, Ben who immediately recognised Aaron from their school days and confronted him about being a bully.
“As soon as I realised who he was it all came back to me. He was gay and he was out and I – ” Aaron gulps, chest heaving. “He was right, I made his life hell.”
“How d’you mean?”
Aaron just gives him a look. “I’ve told you what I was like back then. How I felt about – how I treated gay people. Especially lads. Don’t make me go into the details.”
Robert sighs and nods. Aaron’s told him the stories and he remembers well enough what bullies from his own teenage years could be like. He can imagine.
“Are you alright?”
Aaron shrugs, looking lost. “Wasn’t expecting that part of past to come and smack me in the face like that. I hate thinking about the person I used to be back then… but I guess his memories are worse than mine so I don’t have the right to complain, do I?”
“It’s not a competition,” Robert says softly, closing his laptop. “So what happened? After he told you who he was?”
“Not much, really. He just said some stuff about how he wasn’t scared of me anymore and to leave him the hell alone, I tried to tell him I was sorry but he wasn’t interested. Not that I blame him. There was nothin’ I could say, I didn’t know how to explain without having to go into… ”
Gordon.
“Not that it’s an excuse.” Aaron says after a short silence, twisting his ring back and forth in agitation.
“No… ” Robert says carefully, taking Aaron’s hand and stilling his fidgeting fingers. “But it might help him understand, maybe even give you both some closure?”
“He probably won’t wanna hear anythin’ I have to say.”
“Maybe not, and that’s alright. But… you could just give it a bit of time, let the dust settle. Then if you feel like you want to try, you can ask him if he’d be willing to have a chat.”
“Yeah… maybe you’re right.”
“Always am.”
Aaron huffs weakly. “And you’re always full of yourself.”
Robert just grins, not bothering to deny it. “D'you feel better now?”
“Yeah. Thank you.” Aaron sighs, shoulders finally relaxing a fraction. “You do always know what to say. It’s annoying, really.”
And that, Robert thought, had been that.
Except that his advice about giving it some time turns out to be somewhat meaningless, because the next day Aaron gives him a call.
“So uh, I’m in the pub with the guy from yesterday. Ben.”
Robert blinks, pushing his chair back from his desk. “You’re what?”
“Yeah. His car was broken down and Cain wasn’t around so I offered to fix it for him. He said no at first but he would’ve been stuck otherwise, so he let me. Then we had a chat and… now we’re having a drink. He’s just gone to the loo now.”
“Right. That was fast?”
“Yeah.” Aaron lets out a slightly uncomfortable laugh. “We’ve cleared the air a bit, I’ve… told him some stuff about me. About my past. Not in detail, but enough that he gets it, sort of. Enough that he doesn’t wanna give me a black eye now, anyway.”
Robert’s eyes narrow at that. Bullied or not, no one threatens his husband on his watch.
“Listen,” Aaron continues. “If you’re not too busy with work, would you mind comin’ down?”
“To the pub?”
“Yeah. We’ve just got another round in but it’s still kind of awkward and - ”
Robert’s mouth twitches. “You need me to come rescue you.”
He can practically hear Aaron roll his eyes. “Not rescue, just – ”
“Say no more.” Robert grabs his coat and car keys. “I was nearly done here anyway, I’m on my way.”
A few minutes later, he pulls up outside the Woolpack and makes his way through the doors. It’s quiet inside so it only takes him a second to spot Aaron sitting with an unremarkable-looking man wearing a bright orange HOP uniform.
“Hiya.” He drops a quick kiss on Aaron’s cheek and sits next to him, not missing the grateful look his husband shoots him. He gives his leg a reassuring squeeze under the table.
“Rob, this is Ben. Ben, this is my husband Robert.”
Robert offers a polite smile and extends a hand towards Ben. “Nice to meet you.”
Ben reaches out to shake it. “You too.”
They engage in a few minutes of slightly stilted small talk, before the conversation turns to Ben’s job at the HOP.
“I like it a lot - I get to be outside doing something fun, teaching people a new skill, getting them active.” He grins in a way that's a little too energetic for Robert’s liking. “You should give it a try, Aaron.”
“Nah,” Aaron says with a shake of his head. “Not really my thing, if it’s not running or football I can’t really be arsed with outdoors-y stuff, ‘specially if it’s something I’m no good at.”
“Maybe you just haven’t had the right teacher yet,” Ben says with a wink. “I can always give you a one-on-one lesson if you like?”
Hang about.
Robert’s pint glass freezes mid-air in his hand. He stares hard at Ben, takes in the way his eyes rove over Aaron’s form, travelling up and down. The slow curve of his smile, the way his voice just dropped.
Robert knows what being attracted to Aaron looks like, better than anyone. God, no wonder this bloke had forgiven him so quickly.
Well, fuck that.
“We’re good, thanks.” Robert grabs Aaron’s hand and rests them both on the table, stroking his thumb over Aaron’s knuckles under Ben’s nose. “We tried kayaking on our first holiday together and this one – ” He tilts his head in Aaron’s direction. “ – dropped his phone in the water, wouldn’t stop moaning about it for the rest of the trip. I don’t think we’ll be up for a repeat anytime soon.”
Aaron rolls his eyes and turns to mock-glare at him. “I moaned because instead of helping me dry it off, you just told me to stick it in a bag of rice.”
“The internet said that would work.”
“Oh, well if the internet says so it must be true – ”
As they bicker back and forth, Robert notices out of the corner of his eye that the smile has dropped from Ben’s face, replaced with a small frown. He clears his throat and gets to his feet abruptly.
“Well, I should be getting home.” He shrugs on his blue anorak. “Cheers for sorting my car out.”
“No bother.” Aaron nods at him.
“See you around, then?”
“See you.”
Ben’s not even out the door before Robert moves into the seat he just vacated so he’s facing Aaron. “Fancy getting some chips? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, go on then.”
As Aaron goes to the bar to order some food from Marlon, Robert glances out the window, a feeling of satisfaction running through him as he watches Ben walk away. He’s fairly certain it was his unspoken reminder that Aaron is, in fact, very much taken, that got the man to leave the pub so quickly.
*
A couple of weeks later, Robert comes home from a meeting to find a sniffly Seb curled up on the sofa, Aaron making him a sandwich in the kitchen. They’d both been in the portacabin that afternoon when there’d been a call from Seb’s nursery to say he was poorly and needed to go home for the rest of the day. Since Aaron didn’t have much on other than some paperwork, he’d been the one to go pick him up and stay home with him.
After giving Seb a quick cuddle, Robert goes to the kitchen and comes up behind Aaron, hands resting on his waist.
“Hey, how’s the patient doing?”
“Better now that he’s had a nap, I think.” Aaron cuts the crusts off Seb’s sandwich and grabs his juice. Robert can feel a line of tension in his spine. “Had a bit of a run-in with Ben earlier.”
“Ben… the guy from the HOP?”
“Yeah.” Aaron turns around, frowning. “I was meant to be meeting him at the pub this afternoon, but when we got the call about Seb I totally forgot. I gave him a ring later, as soon as I remembered, told him I was sorry for not turning up but my son was poorly. He was dead arsey about it.”
“What, seriously?”
“Yeah, said I should’ve let him know earlier and that he didn’t like being an afterthought. I said sorry again, told him I didn’t ditch him on purpose but he wasn’t having it.” Aaron rolls his eyes. “Honestly, I think he’s still sore about what happened when we were younger. Felt like he was just looking for an excuse to think the worst of me.”
Robert recalls the resentful look on Ben’s face just before leaving the pub the other week, and thinks that’s probably not the only reason he got annoyed at Aaron bailing on their little pub meetup.
As he stands there and silently contemplates all the ways he wants to make this kayak instructor suffer, Aaron takes Seb his snack, fussing over him gently for a minute before returning to the kitchen.
“Next time I see Ben,” he says quietly. “I think I’m just gonna tell him we probably shouldn’t hang out again.”
Robert’s eyebrows shoot up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m glad we cleared the air n’all but… ” He shrugs. “It’s still a bit weird, and if he’s always gonna be holding a grudge, I don't see us being mates. There’s no point forcing somethin' that’s not there.”
Robert would be lying if he said he wasn’t quietly relieved. It’s not like he’s jealous or anything, him and Aaron are well past that sort of thing, but knowing your husband’s spending time with someone who obviously wants to get in his pants isn’t exactly pleasant.
“That's probably for the best,” he agrees, giving his husband a teasing nudge. “Especially since he clearly has a thing for you.”
Aaron’s face twists, baffled. “What?”
“Ben, he fancies the pants off you.”
“Pff, no he doesn’t, he’s barely even likes me. Don’t be daft.”
Aaron’s denial is no surprise - he almost never fails to miss looks of the looks of interest that people regularly throw his way, the blatant disappointment when they spot his wedding ring. His obliviousness is both endearing and exasperating.
“I’ve got eyes, I saw the way he was looking at you in the pub the other week. How eager he was to give you a private lesson.”
“Shut up,” Aaron scoffs, smacking Robert’s arm lightly. “That’s not what happened.”
“If you say so,” Robert says with a laugh. “Let’s just say I’m glad he won’t be trying to get you into his kayak anytime soon.”
“Idiot.”
And so, for the next few months, Ben Tucker is out of sight and out of mind.
ii.
“Come onnnn.” Seb tugs on both their hands as he walks between them. “Dads, I’m hungry!”
“Yeah, we heard you the first ten times,” Aaron grins at him as the Hide comes into view. “We’re nearly there now.”
“And I bet Auntie Vic will give you extra pizza toppings if you ask nicely.”
“Wait a sec.” Aaron comes to a stop – much to Seb’s frustration – and he points to somewhere in the distance. “There’s Ellis.”
Robert follows his gaze and spots Ellis carrying a bag of what looks like gym equipment. “Right… and?”
“And, I heard he’s starting the under 5’s football classes soon. We should get Seb signed up.”
“Football?” Seb’s interest is piqued, eagerness for his dinner temporarily forgotten.
“You can start playing with other kids, maybe learn some cool tricks. You fancy it?”
“Yeah!”
“Alright, let’s go ask him about it.”
“You two go, I’ll order the food.” Robert squeezes Seb’s hand before relinquishing it. “Can’t have my boys starving, ’specially if it’s footy season soon.”
“Cheers.” Aaron scoops Seb up and jogs in Ellis’s direction. “Ellis! Hang on a minute, mate!”
Robert heads into the Hide alone, rounding the corner to see Vic at the counter chatting to Luke, Ben, and one of Robert’s new tenants, Ethan. The topic of conversation seems to be something to do with dating, and Robert steps into the cafe just in time to hear Ben – who clearly hasn’t spotted him – loudly proclaiming,
“No one said anything about love… I just wanna rip his clothes off.”
“Beg your pardon?”
Ben jumps a mile and falls silent, the smirk he’d been holding a second ago dropping from his face at Robert’s question.
“Oh, Ben was just tellin’ us about this mystery bloke he fancies,” Vic says lightly. “Won’t spill the beans about who it is, the spoilsport.”
It takes Robert about five seconds of observing the way Ben shifts uncomfortably in his seat and refuses to meet his eyes to work out exactly who he was talking about. The guilt is practically coming off him in waves.
He doesn’t call him out on it, though, settling for raising an unimpressed eyebrow at him instead.
“D'you always talk about your sex life at work?”
Ben’s head snaps up at that, brow furrowed. “Wha – I wasn’t.”
“Sounded that way to me.” Robert regards him cooly and folds his arms, falling easily into the persona he normally reserves for smarmy clients. “Not very professional, is it? Considering you work with kids.”
“Robert, come on… ” Vic says, her voice quiet. “We were just joking around.”
“I’m not working, I’m on my break,” Ben adds, his scowl deepening.
“In the middle of the cafe where customers are trying to eat.”
“There’s no customers here except for you.”
“Uh, I’m a customer too,” Ethan pipes up quietly, and Robert wants to snigger when Ben shoots him an irritated look of betrayal.
“Well, there’s no children here so – ”
“Daddy!”
Seb chooses this moment to come running in, jumping up into Robert’s arms before looking at the group curiously. Just when Robert thought he couldn’t love his kid any more.
“Hey squirt, Daddy get your football lessons sorted?” Seb nods excitedly, hands clutching at the collar of Robert’s leather jacket. “Where is he, then? Did you ditch him?”
“He tried.” Aaron’s amused voice comes floating in as he rounds the corner. “Took off running soon as he remembered we were meant to be eating. Did you order yet?”
“Not yet. Vic was busy yapping to her colleague over here,” Robert says pointedly, causing her to roll her eyes and move towards the till.
Aaron blinks when he finally spots Ben, giving him a slightly curt nod. The two of them have barely spoken in the months since they decided – or Aaron decided – they were better off not being friends and leaving the past in the past.
“So, football?”
“He can start in two weeks.” Aaron grins and ruffles Seb hair. “Gonna be a top striker, aren’t you?”
The three of them order pizza from Vic and eat their dinner together, barely noticing Ben wordlessly heading outside not long after they sat down. When they’re eventually getting ready to leave themselves, Robert waves Aaron off.
“You two go ahead, just need to talk to Vic about something. I’ll catch up.”
When Aaron’s taken Seb outside, Robert moves to the counter and grabs Victoria’s attention.
“Hey, is Jai around?”
“Er, yeah,” she says, half-distracted by a checklist she’s going through. “He’s in the office. Why?”
“Would you mind getting him for me? I need a quick word.”
She nods and disappears through the staff exit, returning a minute later with Jai in tow before heading into the kitchen.
“Alright, Robert? If this is about Seb’s playdate with Dotty this weekend, Sunday would work better for me and Laurel, if that’s okay?”
“No, it’s not about that – although good to know, cheers.” Robert taps a quick reminder in the calendar on his phone.
“Oh, right. What can I do for you?”
“I actually wanted to make a complaint about one of your employees.”
Jai’s smile vanishes. “Oh? What seems to be the problem?”
“Ben Tucker, the guy who teaches canoeing – ”
“Kayaking.”
“Whatever. I walked in earlier to hear him gossiping about his, I dunno, sexual fantasies in the middle of the cafe.”
And alright, sexual fantasies might be laying it on a little thick, but Robert’s trying to get someone fired here. Better to keep things vague, let Jai’s imagination fill in the blanks.
Sure enough, Jai’s eyes widen in surprise. “What, really?”
“Yep. To be honest, it’s not exactly what I want my three year-old to hear when I bring him in for his dinner, this is meant to be a family-friendly place. And when I pulled Ben up on it, he said it was fine because he was on his break. But he was sat where customers could hear and he’s still in his uniform.” Robert straightens up, lets his voice slip into professional mode. “I’m not trying to tell you how to run your business, but if he was my employee… let’s just say he would’ve worked his last shift for me after that.”
Jai frowns and nods slowly. “I see… well, I'm sorry about that, it's not acceptable. I’ll have a word with him. And how about I give you some meal vouchers for your trouble?”
He goes to the counter and picks up a handful food vouchers, passing them over.
“Thanks.” Robert pockets them. “And Ben?”
“Hm. Well, we’ve not had any issues with him so far… ”
Speak for yourself, Robert has to bite down.
“I’ll give him an official warning, make sure he understands that sort of behaviour isn’t appropriate. Any more problems, then he’ll be out.”
Robert resists the urge to sigh with disappointment. Not quite the on-the-spot sacking he’d been hoping for. But a warning is better than nothing, he supposes. Hopefully it’ll only be a matter of time…
iii.
Robert’s away on a work trip when it all kicks off with Liv. Well, it’s technically been kicking off for quite some time, but of course the week he goes abroad just has to be the week she chucks a vodka bottle at Aaron’s head and does a runner, sending him out of his mind with worry.
“She did what?” Robert says into the phone, concerned by the anxious wobble in his husband’s voice. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine, it didn’t hit me.”
“That’s not what I meant, Aaron.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Do you need me to come home?”
“No, it’s okay.” Robert can hear the sounds of his footsteps pacing around the Mill. “I know you need to make this deal.”
Robert chews his lip and wanders around his hotel room, matching Aaron’s footsteps with his own. The smart suits he’s brought for the next few days’ meetings are hanging neatly in the open wardrobe, and he absently runs a hand down the expensive material. With everything that’s happened since Jimmy’s van crash, the work the haulage has lost and Robert’s business partner pretty much out of commission… him failing to secure these prospective new clients just isn’t an option right now.
“And I’ve got Mum and Cain helping me,” Aaron continues. “We’re trying to track her down, see if she’s maybe at her mum’s. I’ve been trying to get Vinny to help us out but he’s been useless.”
“You can’t blame the lad for wanting space after everything, Aaron,” Robert says, knowing he needs to tread carefully. Liv's recent treatment of her ex-boyfriend is still something of a sensitive subject in the family. “But if she tries ringing him, I’m sure he’ll let you know.”
“Let’s hope so.”
The rest of Robert’s week passes in a whirlwind of meetings, dinners and calling Aaron whenever he gets a chance in between. By the time he’s heading to the airport for his flight back to the UK, he’s exhausted but satisfied. He got every client to sign on the dotted line – one less thing to worry about. It might even cheer Jimmy and Nicola up.
He has a nightmarish journey home in the end. His flight is delayed, then cancelled, then he ends up being stuck on a flight that's diverted to London instead of Manchester, which means he then has to get a train home and doesn’t make it back to Emmerdale until several hours later than he meant to. He’d tried sending as many updates to Aaron as he could, but heard nothing back. He’d been half-hoping for a lift from the station, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen.
When he eventually stumbles through the Mill’s front door that night, legs aching and head banging, he sighs with the sheer relief of finally being home. But that relief quickly vanishes when he’s stopped in his tracks at the sight of an unexpected – and unwelcome – person sitting on his sofa.
“Er, hiya.” Ben Tucker gives him an awkward wave.
He’s got a bottle of Robert’s favourite beer in his hand, and the irritation that Robert's been feeling all day prickles angrily on the back of his neck.
“Why are you in my house?”
“It’s kind of a long story actually – ”
“And I’ve had a long day, give me the short version.” Robert collapses in the armchair. “Preferably on your way out the door.”
“Uh, well – ”
“Robert… ” Aaron suddenly appears on the staircase. He looks beyond exhausted. “You’re back late.”
“My flight was cancelled. I texted you, tried calling but you didn’t answer.” He tries to keep the accusatory note out of his voice but he’s not sure if he succeeds.
“Oh, yeah… ” Aaron pulls his phone out his pocket, as if suddenly remembering the barrage of messages Robert had left him. “Sorry, it’s been a bit of a mad day. Liv finally got in touch with Vinny. Most of what she said was drunken ramblings but it was enough for him to figure out she was at some caravan park.”
Robert blinks, sluggish brain struggling to keep up. “A caravan park?”
“Yeah, I knew from Sandra’s sister that’s where she was living too, managed to get the address from her so we drove down today. I left Seb with Diane, he’s sleeping over at hers tonight.”
“Okay.” The fact that Seb’s not at home doesn’t do much to help his already sour mood, and he clenches his jaw. “Sorry, when you say ‘we’… ”
“I went with Aaron,” says Ben. “To the caravan park.”
“Why?”
“He was just passing when I was about to set off, Mum thought it’d be a good idea if he came with me.”
“Again, why?”
“I’ve been… helping out these last few days.” At Robert’s blank stare, he quickly continues. “I’ve been through – my dad’s an alcoholic, I know all about dealing with someone in Liv’s situation so. There were times when he used to – ”
“Alright, I didn’t ask for your life story,” Robert cuts him off, shaking his head and turning to Aaron. “So what happened? Did you find her?”
“Yeah.” Aaron’s brow wrinkles unhappily. “Found her with Sandra, both of them on their way to getting hammered in the middle of the day.”
“I’m guessing she wasn’t up for coming back with you, then?”
He has a feeling he would’ve heard more raised voices by now if she had.
“No. I asked her to come home – begged her, really, but she wasn’t having it. I was halfway to just bundling her in the car and bringing her back with us anyway, but Ben convinced me not to.”
“She’ll come back when she’s ready,” Ben says like he’s some kind of expert. Like it’s any of his business. “It has to be her decision. We couldn’t force her, she’d only take off again.”
And yeah, Robert’s still not liking the use if “we” that he keeps hearing.
“Right. Well, if there’s nothing else to be done, you can leave now.”
“Robert.” Aaron shoots him a look.
“No, it’s fine.” Ben stands up, draining the last of his beer. “It’s late, I should get going.”
“Cheers for all your help today,” Aaron says, walking him to the door. “I appreciate it.”
“Yeah, no worries. Text me if you need anythin’, yeah? Even if it’s just a pint.”
To Robert’s utter annoyance, Aaron smiles and nods. “I might take you up on that, mate. See you.”
“Mate?” The word’s out of his mouth as soon as Ben’s gone. “Since when are you two mates?”
The smile on Aaron’s face drops instantly and he scrubs a hand over his eyes. “Don’t start, I’ve had a hell of a day.”
“I’ve not had the best one myself,” Robert can’t help snapping back. He can feel his temper rising quicker than it normally would, the stress and exhaustion of his week apparently catching up with him. “So how did Ben end up involved in all this? You don’t even like the guy.”
“He’s alright, actually. I dunno, I think I was too harsh on him before, he’s been a big help this week.”
“So much that you had to go on a little road trip together?”
“Why’re being such a prat about this?” Aaron spits out, throwing his hands in the air. “He was just there, my mum didn’t want me to be on my own and he was happy to do it. And it’s not like you were here to help so - ”
“Excuse me?” Robert’s on his feet before he knows it. The moody shrug Aaron gives him in return is enough to make what little hold he had left on his temper evaporate within a split-second. “Oh, I’m so sorry I was busy trying to save my entire business from crashing and burning, that was really selfish of me. Sorry I was away from home trying to earn some money, but one of us has to.”
Aaron’s gaze snaps to him at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well it’s not like you bother to show up at the scrapyard much these days, is it?”
“Hang on, that’s not fair. I’ve been busy, I’ve had – Liv’s drinking and everythin’ with her and Vinny, and before that the stuff with Gran and that stupid brooch – ”
“Y’know it’s a good thing you’re self-employed, because if you had a boss you would’ve been sacked a dozen times over by now.”
It’s stupid and he doesn’t really mean it – half the time he’s just as likely to skive off work as Aaron is and they both know it – but at this point, he’s just spoiling for a fight.
“Oh, piss off Robert.” Aaron starts walking away, moving around the kitchen so aggressively it makes the cutlery on the drying board rattle. “You’re just being a prick now. Sorry I don’t put in enough hours for you, Mr Moneybags.”
“And I’m sorry I’m the only one actually trying to save enough for a surrogacy, since you obviously don’t give a damn anymore.”
The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and there’s a loud shatter as Aaron drops a glass on the floor. He whirls around to look at Robert with shocked, furious eyes, mouth slack and hanging open.
“What are you – don’t you dare – ” He steps around the broken glass, hands on his hips and breaths coming in short, sharp bursts. “Why the hell would you say something like that?”
And if Robert was thinking clearly, if he wasn’t already so tense and overtired and angry, he’d find a way to tell Aaron what he’s actually feeling. That what he’d just said wasn’t meant to be an accusation, but him letting slip a deep, dark anxiety that’s started keeping him up at night.
They haven't exactly been to many surrogacy meetings recently, barely any since the covid restrictions lifted. Aaron’s hardly even mentioned it. Lately it feels like Robert’s always the one to bring it up and when he does, he doesn’t get a lot back. Aaron’s always either busy or distracted or too tired or… maybe, just maybe, he’s gone off the idea.
It’s a fear that’s crept up on Robert slowly over the last few months, almost without him noticing. And he’s been meaning to speak to Aaron about it, to just ask him what’s going on – because they don’t keep the big stuff from each other, not anymore – but he hasn’t found the right time.
In the middle of a row, when they’re both snapping and snarling at each other, definitely isn’t the right time. Which is why, instead of talking about it calmly and patiently like he’d planned to, he takes a deep breath, opens his mouth, and ends up throwing out another insult – something petty and spiteful enough to make Aaron’s face turn an alarming shade of red and toss an insult of his own right back.
The tension and stress that’s been brimming for the last few weeks overflows rapidly as they hurl cutting barbs and accusations at each other until they’re practically screaming, taking out every single problem they've had recently out on each other because, well, they can.
It’s the worst fight they’ve had in months – maybe years. On and on it goes until Robert’s voice is hoarse and Aaron’s eyes are wet and they can’t look at each other anymore. When they eventually run out of steam and a ringing silence falls over the room, Robert grabs his coat and heads for the door without a backward glance, his suitcase still lying on the floor.
*
“So what happened?” Diane asks him the next morning, sliding over a coffee. “It takes a pretty bad row for you two to actually spend a night apart these days.”
“It was stupid,” Robert says quietly, swallowing around the lump in his throat. His head is clearer this morning and the regret is already coursing through him like wildfire. “Just a stupid fight that turned into a big fight. I don’t even know how it happened.”
“Daddy,” Seb comes into the kitchen. “Can we go to the park?”
Robert smiles at him and brushes a hand through his hair. The one good thing about spending the night at Diane’s is that he got to wake up with Seb and spend the morning catching up with him. Listening to him babble about his week has been a welcome distraction.
“Course we can, mate. But I just have to talk to Nana about something right now, why don’t you watch some cartoons or do some drawing for now, then we can go soon, okay?”
Once Seb’s out of the room and they hear the sound of the television flick on, Robert sighs and slumps down in his chair. Diane takes a seat across from him and pats his wrist.
“You’ve both been under a lot of pressure recently, pet.”
“Understatement.”
“So things were bound to get on top of you both eventually.”
“I shouldn’t have let them.” Robert bites his lip unhappily. “We’re supposed to be better than this now.”
“Oh Robert, calm down.” Diane rolls her eyes. “So you had a domestic with your husband, it’s not the end of the world. All couples row sometimes, no matter how good their relationship is. And yours is good, you know it is.”
He can’t help smiling at that. As rubbish as he’s feeling, he knows she’s not wrong.
“And if I know Aaron, he’ll be sat at home feeling just as miserable and sorry for himself as you are. So let me look after Seb for another hour or so, and go home and make things right with him. You’ll have gotten things sorted before the morning's over, I guarantee it.”
So after a quick shower and trip to the cafe, Robert cautiously enters the Mill to see Aaron scrunched in a ball on the sofa and watching tv through half-lidded eyes. It looks like he spent the night there. As soon as Robert steps through the door, he’s bolting to his feet and the two of them stare at each other for a long second.
“Sorry – ”
“I’m sorry – ”
There’s another brief silence, both of their mouths curling into tentative half-smiles. Robert holds up the paper bag in his hand like a peace offering.
“I come bearing bacon butties.”
Aaron nods, eyes soft but still a little apprehensive. “I’ll put the kettle on. Then we should… probably talk.”
Robert swallows thickly. While he knows that a lot of what was said the previous night can be forgotten with their apologies, there are some things that can’t. He already knows what Aaron’s going to ask about.
“Okay.”
They have breakfast at the table, Aaron’s ankle hooked around Robert’s while they eat. Once their plates are empty, they both pick up their mugs and move to the sofa.
And they talk. Aaron wants to know exactly what Robert meant about the surrogacy, just as Robert knew he would. He can’t blame him, he'd be the same if Aaron had dropped that kind of bombshell on him. So he does, he tells Aaron all the things he’s been thinking and worrying over, the things he should’ve said the night before.
“I didn’t mean to hide all this, I swear I meant to talk to you properly,” Robert says with a rueful smile. “But you know me, always one for the dramatics.”
Aaron’s face has fallen, mouth downturned unhappily. “I had no idea you’d been feeling like this, if I had – ”
“It’s okay.”
“I do still want this,” Aaron cuts him off, voice firm. “The surrogacy. Course I do. It’s just, everything’s been so… ”
“It’s been a lot recently.”
Aaron nods sadly. “And maybe I have been putting if off a bit. We got our hopes up so much with Natalie and look what happened. And then the pandemic. We’ve left it so long now, I’m just… ”
“Scared to try again?”
“Yeah. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid.”
“It made you think I didn’t care anymore. I’m sorry.”
Robert sighs and presses a kiss to his forehead. “It’s alright.”
“I should’ve talked to you.”
“I should’ve talked to you.”
They both snort at that, eyes crinkling and noses brushing as they lean into each other.
“Let’s go to a surrogacy meeting,” Aaron says. “I know we’ve got a lot on right now, I know we have to deal with Liv, but whenever the next meeting’s on in Hotten, we should go. No more putting it off, I promise.”
“Okay,” Robert smiles, relief flooding through his chest. “Have you heard from her? Liv?”
Aaron shakes his head.
“Ben was right, I just have to hope she comes back eventually.”
“Right. So, you and Ben? Friendship back on, is it?”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Don’t be weird about it.”
“I’m not!” He probably is.
“You were last night.”
“Yeah well, we’ve established I wasn’t at my best last night. I just didn’t realise it was a thing again, that’s all. I bet he’s over the moon.”
“If you’re gonna start tryna tell me he fancies me again – ”
“He does. I mean I can’t blame him but - ”
Aaron laughs and pokes him in the ribs. “He doesn’t. The only thing he’s interested in is all the hookup apps he’s on, trust me. He likes the dodgy ones, apparently.”
Robert sighs and thinks back to what he’d overheard in the Hide a few weeks earlier.
“No one said anything about love… I just wanna rip his clothes off.”
“Look, you don’t have to like him, but he really did help me out this week,” Aaron’s saying, fingers absently playing with Robert’s. “And it’s not like I’ve got many mates these days.”
There’s a slight hint of sadness in his voice. Robert wonders if he’s thinking about Adam, knows how much he misses him to this day.
“You should go for that pint with him,” he says, albeit through slightly gritted teeth.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You said it yourself, you’ve got a lot to deal with right now. If hanging out with him helps, then… maybe it’d do you good.”
“Okay. Not today, though. You’ve been gone all week, me and Seb missed you like mad.”
“I know, I need to pick him up from Diane’s. Promised him we could go to the park.”
“Sounds like a plan. And then tonight – ” Aaron grins at him. “ – you and me have got some serious catching up to do, Mr Dingle.”
iv.
All in all, Emmerdale’s first Pride event is sort of a let-down.
In fairness, that was probably down to the collection tin – meaning the majority of the funds – somehow vanishing from the Hide overnight. Considering the hefty donation Robert had made (mainly thanks to Victoria shaking the tin in his face every time he just wanted her to make him the damn sandwich he’d ordered), he’s more than a little put out.
But as small and underwhelming as it is, it’s the first Pride he and Aaron have been to together, it offers a distraction from Liv's drunken rages , and seeing Seb’s excitement over all the colours and music makes the day worth it. It’s also the first time Vic’s smiled properly since her waste of space ex, Luke, departed the village with his tail between his legs (which suited Robert just fine, as it saved him the trouble of forcing the cheating bastard out himself).
Robert and Aaron end up splitting up for a while, Chas having spent the last hour sending Aaron a relentless stream of texts persuading them to come and sample the cocktails she’d created for the day. Robert knows from experience what Chas calls “cocktails” is actually code for “cheap spirits she’d had trouble selling and decided to get rid of by chucking them together into some foul concoction that usually tasted like lighter fluid”.
So needless to say, he’d decided to pass. Instead, he stays out in the sunshine with Seb, Vic and Harry while Aaron goes to the pub to keep his mother happy, promising to be back within the hour.
When Aaron does eventually return, there’s an odd look on his face as he walks towards them. He looks… not upset exactly, but not as happy as he’d been when he’d left. But before Robert can question it, he realises that Ben is following Aaron closely, trailing behind him like the shadow he seems to have become over the last few weeks. Ever since that day at the caravan park, they’ve started hanging out together, which means that Ben is suddenly everywhere.
Always wanting to meet up for a coffee or pint, always giving Aaron advice on how to deal with Liv now that she’s back, always trying to get him to do some painfully boring activity at the HOP. Robert regrets ever encouraging Aaron to become friends with him, he really does.
He sighs and grits his teeth, before plastering on a fake smile when they both join the group.
“Back again?” he says as pleasantly as he can manage. Judging by the side-eye Victoria gives him, he’s not sure he did a good job of it. “I didn’t realise you were coming today.”
Ben just shrugs at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, it’s not like you live round here.”
“I work here though, seemed worth checking out. Never say no to a Pride festival, me.” Ben adjusts the rainbow-coloured t-shirt he’s wearing. “Things like this are important, y’know? Although… from what Aaron tells me, this is the first Pride either of you have ever been to?”
On their own, there’s nothing wrong with the words. But there’s something off about Ben’s tone, like there’s a hidden meaning Robert’s missing. He can’t put his finger on what it is, but he knows he doesn’t like it – especially when it’s coupled with the fact that Aaron’s still hasn’t spoken a word.
“Yep, first one,” he says shortly. “Busy lives, y’know?”
Without waiting for a response that, frankly, he has no interest in hearing, he turns to Aaron.
“So on a scale of one to ten, how bad were your mum’s cocktails?”
Aaron blinks and clears his throat, seeming to come out of whatever thought he was lost in.
“Solid 11, think I’ve lost most of the taste buds on my tongue.”
Robert grins and wraps an arm around his shoulders (which he would’ve done whether Ben was there or not, he tells himself). “Glad I missed it.”
“Whatever, it’s your turn when she does her Christmas ones.”
“Ben!” They all look up to see a tipsy-looking Matty and Amy waving at Ben from a few feet away. “We’re getting our faces painted, come on!”
Ben bids Aaron a quick goodbye and goes to join them. Vic leaves to get a drink soon after, taking Seb with her when he pipes up that he’s thirsty. Once they’re alone, Robert gives Aaron a curious look.
“Alright, out with it.”
“What?”
“You’ve been off ever since you came back from the pub, what’s wrong?” At Aaron’s continuing silence, he continues. “Was it your mum, did she say something about Liv?”
“What? No.” Aaron shakes his head. “Nothing about Liv.”
“But she said something.”
“No, it wasn’t her.”
“So someone did say something to upset you, then.”
“God, chill out, detective. I’m not upset, I just… ” Aaron sighs and bites his lip. “Something Ben said… it caught me off-guard, that’s all.”
Robert tenses. He already knows he’s not going to like whatever comes next.
“And what did Ben say?”
“We were in the pub, just talking about random stuff. Then when I mentioned it was the first Pride I’d been to – that we’d both been to – he was a bit funny about it.”
“Funny how?”
“He just… said some stuff about how I’m… closed off? And that I act like I’m worried about letting people see the ‘real me’.” He threw up some air quotes.
“The ‘real you’… ” Robert trails off with a frown. “I don’t get it.”
“As in… the gay me. He meant my sexuality.”
He stares at him. “I’m sorry, he what?”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“You don’t want me to make a big deal out of the fact that some random bloke thinks it’s his place to tell you you’re, what, still half in the closet?”
“First, he’s not some random bloke, he’s my mate,” Aaron says, looking exasperated. “And second… what if he has a point?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well it’s not like I’ve ever been to Pride.”
“Because it’s never been your thing. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yeah, I know… I dunno. I think he was just tryna give me some advice.”
“Advice? Advice on what? You don’t need advice on how to be a gay man, Aaron, anymore than I need advice on how to be a bi one. Or has he got some handy tips for me too? Or Ethan? Matty? Charity?”
“Rob, calm down.”
Robert isn’t calm, he’s furious. Beyond furious.
No. I’m not having this.
Tossing his paper plate down on a picnic table, Robert charges in the direction that Ben went.
“Robert, wait!” He hears Aaron behind him but he ignores his shout. “Don’t – oh, for god’s sake.”
It doesn’t take Robert long to spot Ben standing with Matty and Amy, queuing outside the face-painting tent.
“Hey.” Quite a few people jump as Robert marches up to Ben and grabs him roughly by the arm, yanking him out of the queue. “I want a word with you.”
“Oi, d’you mind?” Ben shakes him off, looking startled. “What the hell’s your problem?”
“My problem is you. You’ve got a bloody nerve, you know that?”
“Excuse me?”
“What, you think because you’ve thrown on a cheap rainbow t-shirt that makes you the leading authority on how to be gay You think it’s your business to tell someone you’ve known for five minutes that they’re not quite out enough for your liking?”
Ben’s mouth falls open when the accusation sinks in, Amy and Matty openly gawping behind him.
“I – that wasn’t what I was doing.” He holds his hands up, defensive like he’s done nothing wrong. “I was just making an observation, that’s all. As Aaron's friend.”
“Oh really?”
“Robert,” Aaron hisses, grabbing his shoulder. “Come on, just leave it. Don’t make a scene.”
Robert shrugs him off so he can jab a finger in Ben’s gormless face.
“Y’know what? For someone who claims to be Aaron’s friend,” he sneers, voice dripping with derision. "You’ve just proved that you don’t know the real him at all, because if you did, you’d know that he spent years working to overcome everything he'd been through and accept himself. You’d know that he helped me come out and that if I hadn’t met him, there’s a good chance I’d still be in the closet. You’d know that Aaron married me – twice – in front of everyone we know, right here in the village years before you even set foot in this place, and he couldn’t have been more open or honest when he did it.”
He’s vaguely aware that his voice has risen to attention-drawing volumes, can sense the cheery laughter dying down and feel the growing stares coming from the people around him. As he takes in the shocked look in Ben's eyes, he finds he doesn’t care.
“Just because you’ve waved a flag at a few Pride festivals over the years, that doesn’t make you any more out than people who haven’t. And just because you’re gay, that doesn’t give you the right to comment anyone else’s sexuality – mates or not. Especially when what you come out with is complete and utter bollocks.”
There’s a long, ringing silence, Robert’s chest heaving and blood rushing in his ears. Ben’s cheeks have flushed bright red and his eyes dart around, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the villagers surrounding them.
“I, uh – ” He shuffles on the spot, before muttering an apology. “I'm sorry if I offended you, Aaron.”
He doesn’t sound very sorry. Not nearly sorry enough for Robert’s liking, anyway.
“Just go, Ben,” Aaron replies with sigh.
When Ben hesitates, Robert throws his hands in the air. “You deaf or something? Piss off.”
Ben glares at him but slinks away, trudging back towards the pub. It takes a moment, but the crowd eventually stops staring and the party-like atmosphere returns.
Aaron turns to face Robert, jaw locked in irritation. “What part of don’t make a scene did you not hear?”
“You seriously expected me to let something like that go?”
“No, but did you have to shout it in front of everyone?”
“No… it made me feel better though.”
Something in Aaron’s expression shutters. “Right. So was all that ’cause you wanted to stick up for me or ’cause you just wanted an excuse to have a pop at Ben?”
Robert stares at him, insulted and a little more hurt than he wants to admit. “You really have to ask that?”
He doesn’t wait for Aaron’s response before turning on his heel and speed-walking away, the anger that had abated just a few moments earlier returning with full force. He stalks through the festival until the sounds of poppy music and animated chatter fade away, eventually coming to a stop on the empty wooden bridge.
He sighs heavily and leans against the railing, unseeing eyes looking down at the stream bubbling along below him. A few minutes later, he hears familiar footsteps coming towards him. He looks up to see Aaron with his hands in his pockets, hesitantly inching closer.
“Can I – ?”
At Robert’s non-committal shrug, he steps closer until they’re side by side, shoulders touching.
“What Ben said in the pub,” Aaron sighs, taking his hands out of his pockets and resting his elbows on the railing. His little finger lightly brushes against Robert’s. “It did get to me. I should’ve been thanking you, not havin’ a go.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have made such a scene,” Robert concedes quietly, only half meaning it.
“Ben might be my mate, but none of what you said was wrong. He was out of line.”
Robert hums. They stand in silence until Aaron huffs, looking amused all of a sudden.
“What?”
“Nothin’, just… I can’t imagine the you of a few years ago yelling at someone like that.”
Robert gives him an odd look. “I’ve been yelling at people since the day you met me.”
“No, I meant… ” Aaron gestures wordlessly.
Standing in the middle of a Pride festival shouting about his sexuality for everyone to hear.
“I know what you meant.” Robert chews his lip for a moment, before adding quietly, “I wasn’t just sticking up for you, y’know. Yeah, it was mostly that but… I guess I was sticking up for myself as well.”
Aaron gives him a questioning glance, like he’s waiting for more. Robert supposes he has to give it to him now.
“I know I’m not exactly… Mr Out-And-Proud or anythin’. It took me 15 years after kissing a boy to even say the word bisexual out loud. And if Ben and other people like him managed to do it in their teens, then great, good for them.” He gives Aaron a small smile. “I’m really glad – proud – that you were brave enough to come out and figure out how to be comfortable with yourself so young. But sometimes it’s hard not to feel like I – that I missed – ”
“Like you missed out on that?” Aaron’s eyes widen slightly, like he’s taken aback.
Robert can’t say he blames him, he’s never said any of this before and he really hadn’t planned to. He doesn’t know why this is coming pouring out of him now. Maybe attending his first Pride is having more of an effect on him than he realised.
“A bit. I try not to, because I’m so happy now. With you. Even though I sometimes wish things could’ve been different, I wouldn’t change a thing about us or how we got to where we are now. So hearing that Ben said all that stuff to you, like he was judging you – us – for not being out enough, I – I just –”
He doesn’t know how to verbalise it exactly, the confused mix of uncomfortable feelings that have swarming in the pit of his stomach ever since Aaron repeated Ben’s words. But he doesn’t have to, because understanding washes over Aaron’s face and he tugs Robert away from the railing so he can pull him into a hug.
“I get it,” he says into Robert’s shoulder. “You don’t have to explain, I get it.”
They stand there in silence for a few minutes, long enough that some of the tension bleeds out of Robert’s body as he basks in having Aaron’s arms wrapped tightly around him. Eventually, quite out of nowhere, Aaron speaks.
“Sometimes I wish your dad was still alive so I could kill him myself.”
It’s brash and insensitive… and so utterly, weirdly sweet in an Aaron sort of way, Robert can’t help the laughter that bursts out of him, the warm feeling of protected flooding through his chest.
“You wanna get Seb off Vic and go home?”
“Nah.” Robert pulls away and straightens up. “Let’s stay a while longer. As long as your bestie isn’t still hanging around, I’m good.”
Aaron snorts and starts pulling Robert back towards the festival. “What’re you, 12? Never say bestie again.”
They don't see Ben again for the rest of the day.
v.
You nearly home? x
Robert raises an eyebrow at the text he just received. Aaron doesn’t normally add kisses unless he’s drunk or feeling guilty about something. At the next red light, he taps out a quick reply.
Five minutes x
When he arrives home, Aaron’s pacing back and forth on the rug in front of the fireplace and stops dead as soon as he sees the door open.
“Hey.” Robert drops his keys in the bowl and takes his shoes off. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Aaron says with a tight smile. “Meeting go alright?”
“Yeah, it was fine… ” Robert takes in Aaron’s feet shuffling agitatedly on the floor, the way he’s practically wringing his hands together. “You sure everything’s alright?”
“I have to tell you something. You’re not gonna like it.”
“If this is about who ate the last of the banana bread, I already know it was you, it’s not like there were many other possible culprits – ”
“Ben kissed me.”
Something in Robert’s brain short-circuits. He blinks once, twice, then drops his briefcase to the floor with a loud thunk.
“Sorry, say that again?”
“Ben, he tried it on with me.”
“He didn’t – did he try to force – ”
“No, god no, nothing like that.” There’s no hint of a lie in his words and Robert lets out a relieved breath. “But he did kiss me.”
“When?”
“About an hour ago? I swear I pushed him right off, told him no – ”
“I know.”
“Wha – I’ve only just told you, how could you know?”
Robert lets out a slightly hysterical laugh. It’s not exactly fitting for the situation but he can’t help it.
“No, I didn’t already know, I just meant – Aaron, do you honestly think I’d believe you cheated on me? With Ben of all people? Of course you told him no.”
Aaron watches him warily. “You’re not mad?”
“Oh no, I’m furious. But not with you.” His fingers twitch as he imagines wrapping them around the kayak instructor’s neck and just… squeezing. He masks the movement by peeling his coat off then taking Aaron’s hand, pulling him down on the sofa. “You wanna tell me what happened?”
Aaron nods, tucking his legs up on the cushions.
“Y’know I’ve not seen much of him recently.”
Robert does know. For all Aaron and Ben have still been mates, Aaron’s been keeping the man at a distance ever since Pride, their friendship cooling from seeing each other every few days to maybe once a week.
“But I found him sat outside the Hide earlier, looking upset, so I asked him what was up. You know how his dad’s an alcoholic.” He’d forgotten, but nods along anyway. “The two of them live together and it sounds like things’ve haven’t been great at home recently. So Ben left, but he’s got nowhere to go. Turns out he’s ended up squatting in one of the equipment sheds at the HOP for the last few nights. He’s been tryna find a room to rent near work, but there’s not much out there right now apparently.”
Were it literally anyone other than the man who’s just tried to steal his husband, Robert just might be inclined to give a shit.
“He seemed in a bad way, so I invited him to ours for a beer.”
And I just bet he jumped at the chance, Robert thinks silently, jaw clenched.
“We came back here and had a couple of drinks. I let him rant for while, listened to him talk about his dad. I felt bad, the guy sounds like a nasty piece of work. I told him that even though things between us had sometimes been bumpy over the last few months, I was here if he ever needed someone to talk to.”
Aaron sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Robert can guess how the rest of the story is about to go.
“And that’s when he made a pass at you?”
“Not straight away but yeah, pretty much. He started saying all this stuff about how great I am, how I’ve been there for him… which was kind of weird ‘cause I haven’t done much, really. But I just went with it, said we were friends so of course I’d help him if I could. Then he said that he was really glad we’d… ‘found’ each other again?” Aaron says with air quotes, pulling a face. “That it was crazy we’d bumped into each other after all these years, like it was meant to be or somethin'.”
Robert’s eye twitches. It’s almost impressive, the way this man tried to spin things.
“It was, uh, a bit intense. I didn’t really know what to say, so I was gonna get up and ask if he wanted another beer, but he started leaning in and at first I thought he was going for a hug or something, but then all of sudden he’s just… ” Aaron gestures helplessly. “You know.”
“Trying to kiss you?”
“Yep. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“So what happened then?”
“I shoved him back.” Now that Aaron’s seemingly convinced Robert’s not about to hit the roof, he lets some anger of his own colour his voice for the first time. “Asked him what the hell he thought he was doing.”
“Yeah, I’d like to know that too, as it happens.”
“He started tryna tell me that I wanted this just as much as he did. Saying all this rubbish how how I’d been flirting with him, always wanting to hang out and ask him out for drinks and stuff. Leading him on.” Aaron shakes his head in disgust. “Then he started saying all this stuff about you, that you’re not good enough for me.”
“Oh, charming. Been speaking to your mother, has he?”
“That’s when I properly lost my temper with him, I chucked him out the house and told that him and me were done, and he’d better stay the hell away from me and my family.”
Robert sighs and takes Aaron’s hand. “I'm sorry you had to go through that.”
“I told you, I’m fine. Pissed off, but fine. He didn’t hurt me anythin'.”
“I know, but you thought he was your friend and he tried it on with you. That's not a good situation to be in.”
Aaron sighs deeply and tips his head back on the sofa. “Go on, say it.”
“Say what?”
“I told you so. You warned me ages ago that he had a thing for me and I didn’t listen.”
“I’m not gonna say I told you so, I’m not that mean.” Aaron raises an eyebrow. “Not to you, anyway.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did, I’ve been a right idiot.”
“Oi, you haven’t. The only idiot in this story is him.” Robert squeezes his hand. “But the next time I try to tell you I’m right about something and you ignore me, I might just remind you of this moment.”
Aaron narrows his eyes at him. “You’re allowed to do that once.”
“How about twice?”
“Once.”
“I’ll take it,” Robert grins and kisses him on the cheek. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Bit shaken, maybe. And dreading the next time I have to see him. But I’m alright.”
“Well, Seb’s at his sleepover with Isaac for the night so we’ve got the house to ourselves. What d’you say we get a takeaway, have few drinks, start a new boxset and just forget all about it? At least for tonight.”
The smile Aaron gives him is the first genuine one Robert’s seen since he walked through the door. He leans in to kiss Robert softly, mouth still curved upwards.
“Sounds perfect.”
*
At the crack of dawn the next morning, Robert carefully removes Aaron’s arm from his waist and eases himself out of bed. He tiptoes around the room, quickly throwing on a pair of jeans and a jumper, before leaving Aaron a short note just incase he wakes up before he gets back.
Fifteen minutes later, Robert’s traipsing around the HOP, car left at the car park as he searches each shed he comes across for any signs of life. It takes awhile, but he eventually comes across a particularly secluded one, nearly hidden within the trees. There are footprints embedded on the path leading to it, a sign of someone taking this route on a regular basis. As Robert comes closer, he spots a see-through rubbish bag outside, filled with empty Hide takeaway boxes and coffee cups.
Bingo.
He wastes no time raising his fist and banging on the door hard enough to make it rattle on its hinges. There are sounds of someone scrambling around inside before things fall silent again, like the person on the other side of the door is stood frozen. Huffing with irritation, Robert starts rapping on it once more, not letting up until there’s the sound of a lock turning and it swings open.
A dishevelled-looking Ben stands in front of him, hair sticking up and a crumpled sleeping bag at his feet. His eyes widen at the sight of Robert and he quickly moves to slam the door shut again, but Robert’s quicker.
“Oh no, you don’t.” He sticks a foot in the doorway and reaches in to haul Ben outside. “I think you and me need to have a little chat, don’t you?”
“Look, whatever Aaron’s told you – ”
“No, see, when I said a chat, what I actually meant was I talk, and you keep your creepy little mouth shut and listen.” He takes a step closer to Ben. “I know Aaron’s told you this already, but I want to make sure there’s absolutely no misunderstanding here. From now on, you stay away from him, from both of us. Or you’ll regret it.”
Ben’s eyes narrow. “You threatening me?”
“No, I’m just telling you what’s going to happen. If I was threatening you, you’d know about it, trust me.”
“It’s not my fault your husband led me on.”
Robert snorts. “You’re actually still going with that, are you? You don’t think it makes you look even more pathetic than you already are?”
“You talk about pathetic, but I’m not the one married to a man who obviously wanted someone else, mate,” Ben smirks at him, arms folded. “Aaron can deny it all he likes, I know when a guy’s into me.”
Robert cocks his head at him, considering.
“Wow, it must really sting. Pining after someone for, what… 10 months? Nearly a year of your life wasted trying to win Aaron over and look where it’s got you. He couldn’t be less interested. I bet yesterday wasn’t quite the big endgame you had in mind when you finally decided to throw yourself at him, was it?”
He takes a step back and surveys the way Ben practically shakes with anger, his fists clenched and the veins in his neck swelling.
“So it’s probably for the best if you take what little dignity you have left, pack up that sleeping bag and get the hell out of here. And don’t even think about coming back.”
Ben’s mouth falls open. “You can’t force me to leave! I work here, I’ve got friends here.”
"Far as I’ve seen, your only friend was Aaron. And you’ve well and truly cocked that up, so – ”
“Wendy Posner offered me Luke’s old room yesterday, I’m gonna take it. I have just as much right to be here as anyone else.”
Robert pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s just gotten rid of the last slimeball who’d been living in that house, he’s not about to deal with another one taking his place. Time to switch tactics.
“You know about Aaron’s history, yeah? Saw some of it for yourself? How he used to be more violent, had anger issues, went to prison for GBH? It was enough to make you nervous around him when you first saw him again.” He straightens up, making full use of his height advantage, and drops his voice to a deadly whisper. “That’s nothing compared to what I’ve been capable of over the years.”
There’s a flicker of fear in Ben’s eyes, but it soon disappears as he shakes his head. “Nah. You in your posh suits, pushing pencils all day. You’re not the sort of bloke to use your fists, you don’t have it in you.”
“Not personally, no. Never been a fan of getting my hands dirty.” Robert pulls out his phone, turning it over in his hands. “But I have plenty of contacts in here, lots of very skilled people who’d be happy to do it for me, as long as I make it worth their while.”
“You’re bluffing,” Ben says, though there's a small tremor in his voice that Robert is more than happy to latch onto.
“Am I? You wanna test that theory?” He waves the phone in Ben’s face. “All it takes is one call.”
The thing is, it is a bluff, mostly. Robert does still have those contacts, but he’s not stupid enough to have them saved in his regular phone, the one that anyone could pick up. And it's not like he ever actually calls any of those numbers these days, he doesn’t need the drama and he’s just not that person anymore. But they've been kept, securely stored in the Mill, just in case of emergencies. And the irritating cretin stood before him doesn’t count as an emergency.
“Now I’m threatening you,” he says, baring his teeth. “In case that wasn’t clear.”
And he must have given a convincing performance, because the colour rapidly drains from Ben’s face and he backs away until he hits the shed door.
“You’re not gonna take that room in Wendy’s house.” Robert says mildly, sliding his phone back in his pocket. “And you’re going to stay away from us. Understood?”
Ben nods wordlessly.
“Good. I'm glad we’ve got that sorted.”
“I’m not quitting my job, though,” Ben says faintly. “I won’t move into the village and I’ll stay away from you and Aaron, but I’m not leaving the HOP.”
Robert rolls his eyes. Part of him wants to argue back, remind Ben this isn’t a negotiation, but honestly? He doesn't care enough. He’s wasted enough time on this idiot as it is.
“Whatever.”
And with that, he turns on his heel and saunters through the trees back towards his car. As he gets behind the wheel as starts driving back into the village, he lets a satisfied grin overtake his face.
He may not have quite gotten Ben to disappear altogether, but he’s confident he’s done enough to keep him out of Aaron’s way. It’s enough.
(i.)
Except, it’s not enough.
For all Ben seems to take both his and Aaron’s warnings seriously and gives them a wide berth, Robert keeps seeing his scrawny little face around the village and it’s driving him up the wall. He may not live in Emmerdale but he still works at the HOP, which means he’s still coming to the cafe on his lunch breaks, still in the pub after his shifts, still right there under their noses. Even the terrified looks he occasionally shoots Robert and the way he scuttles in the opposite direction whenever he sees them coming down the street isn’t as satisfying as it had been to begin with.
No, Robert wants him out of Emmerdale altogether. Properly, this time.
Which is how he finds himself knocking on the door of Tall Trees Cottage.
“Robert,” Mack smirks at him, leaning against the frame. “I didn’t expect to see you on my doorstep tonight. You get lost on your way home to loverboy?”
Robert rolls his eyes and pushes his way inside, listening out for signs of Billy, Ellis or Ryan being home.
“Can I get you anythin’? A beer? Whisky? Some dodgy rum that Ryan got from – ”
“This isn’t a social call.”
“You mean you’re not here for the pleasure of my company? I’m hurt.” Mack shoots him his customary shit-eating grin and flops down on the sofa. “So… what can I do for you?”
“How d'you fancy making some quick cash?”
Mack’s grin widens.
*
“Okay,” Robert says into his phone the next evening. He keeps his voice low, half-listening to the sound of Aaron reading Seb a bedtime story down the hallway. “Are we set?”
“Yep, all good to go.”
“You’ve got everything on the list?”
“All boxes ticked. Plus a couple of extras that caught my eye in the shop, I’ll add them to my bill.”
“Fine, whatever. And you’ve remembered to sort the cameras?”
“Aye aye, captain.”
“Don’t fuck this up,” Robert snipes, Mack’s ceaseless lightheartedness grating on his nerves. “I’m paying you enough to get this right, no mistakes.”
Mack snorts down the phone. “Calm down mate, you sound like you’re paying me to off someone.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that. I swear, you’re nearly as much of a grouch as that husband of yours.”
“Mack – ”
“Alright, keep your hair on. Look, I know what I’m doing, okay? You’ll get the result you want, I get the cash I want, win-win.”
“Fine.”
“Fine. Pleasure doing business with you.”
*
The next evening, Robert’s in the middle of preparing tea, Seb watching some Disney show in the background, when Aaron walks through the door.
“Hiya,” he calls over his shoulder before turning back to the food.
He hears Aaron say hi back, followed by the sounds of him toeing his boots off and sitting on the sofa to greet Seb. A minute later, he approaches the kitchen, coming to a standstill behind Robert.
“So, something weird happened earlier.”
Robert keeps chopping vegetables and doesn’t turn around. “Oh?”
“I went into the Hide to grab some snacks for my scrap run, and Vic, Amy and Matty were all gossiping about Ben. Everyone was.”
“If Ben’s the most interesting thing they’ve got to talk about, they need to get more exciting lives.”
“He’s been sacked.”
Robert’s knife hovers for a brief moment, before he grabs another courgette and continues slicing. “Oh, right. How come?”
“Apparently he had a bunch of kids in for a kayaking lesson this morning, and when he opened his store cupboard to get the lifejackets, a load of weird stuff fell out.”
“What stuff?”
Aaron drops his voice low enough that Seb won’t be able to hear.
“Adult stuff. Porn mags and dvds, dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, a blow-up doll… ” Robert has to bite down a snicker. That definitely wasn’t on the list he’d given Mack. “Plus some other stuff I’m not even gonna mention.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, all the kids saw it. Plus a bunch of their parents, so of course they went straight to Jai and raised hell, screamin’ their heads off about how they were never bringing their kids back to the HOP again. So Jai hauled Ben in, and Ben told him all that stuff wasn’t his. He had no idea how it ended up there.”
“Right.”
Aaron’s foot starts tapping, and Robert doesn’t have to see him to know there’s a look of suspicion on his face.
“He told Jai to check the CCTV, prove it wasn’t him. But when they tried, it turned out the CCTV wasn’t working last night.”
“Huh. Unfortunate.”
“Bit of a coincidence, that. Don’t you think?”
“Not really. It was broken the night that Pride collection tin got nicked too, it sounds like they really need to invest in better security.”
Aaron is silent for a beat, before carrying on.
“And since apparently Ben was already on a warning after someone complained about his ‘inappropriate behaviour in the workplace’ a few months back, Jai sacked him on the spot. Didn’t even want him working his notice or anything, he had to empty out his locker and leave this afternoon.”
“I see.” Robert dumps the chopped vegetables into the frying pan, fiddling with the heat. “Well, I guess he won’t be showing his face around here anytime soon, not after that.”
“Robert.”
“Hm?”
“Turn around.”
“I’m busy.”
“Oi, husband.” Aaron’s tone doesn’t leave any room for argument. “Look at me.”
Robert sighs and pivots on the spot, forcing himself to meet Aaron’s gaze. Yep, there’s the suspicion he'd been expecting.
“Did you have anythin’ to do with this?”
“…No?”
“Robert.”
“I swear to you – ” He puts his hand over his heart. “ – that I did not physically put that stuff in Ben’s store cupboard.”
Aaron drops his head back and lets out what sounds like a very resigned sigh. “Right. Any chance it could come back to you?”
“Highly unlikely.”
“Not good enough.”
“It won’t.” Robert steps forward to snake his arms around Aaron’s waist, relieved when he doesn’t pull away. “I promise.”
Aaron holds out for another couple second, before rolling his eyes and relaxing into Robert’s chest.
“I should be pissed off with you.”
“Should? So you’re not, then?”
“Can’t be bothered,” Aaron says with a shrug. “And if it means I don’t have to see Ben anymore then… ” The relief in his voice is clear as day.
“Great, glad we’re on the same page,” Robert grins. “God, I just wish I could’ve been there to see his face when all that stuff fell out, I bet it was brilliant.”
Aaron’s mouth twists in a way that Robert knows is him trying very hard not to laugh.
“You’re a nightmare, you know that?”
“You’ve mentioned once or twice.” Robert pecks him on the cheek. “Go wash up, won’t be long till tea’s ready. And take Seb too, would you? Pretty sure he’s still got dirt on his hands from football club.”
He starts to pull away but Aaron grabs his hand, keeping him there.
“A nightmare that I love, though.”
“I love you, too.” Robert kisses him properly this time, before pushing him away. “Go on, before you make me burn the food.”
Aaron just laughs and goes to Seb. “Come on, mate, Daddy’s making us wash before tea.”
Seb takes Aaron’s hand with a pout. “Why?”
“Because he’s a boring old – ”
“Oi!” Robert charges towards their retreating backs, waving a wooden spoon at them until Aaron picks Seb up and runs up the stairs with him, both of them giggling like mad.
Once they’re out of sight, Robert rolls his eyes and goes back to the cooker, a feeling of contentment settling solidly within him.
His husband is happy, the sounds of him still laughing with their son floating down the stairs. They’ve got a surrogacy meeting in two days. There’s no drama that needs sorting – for now, anyway. And Ben Tucker is out of their lives for good.
All is right in the world of Robert Sugden.