Chapter Text
The first day at her new school was as hellish as she'd imagined it to be. Normally not a shy girl, just a smidgen on the introverted side, Kari felt so intimidated by all these strangers and their established cliques, she’d effectively lost all knowledge of social skills. She couldn’t even say hello. Her legs felt like jelly, and her voice matched. She observed her new peers in silence. Looked on as they laughed and had fun, much like she used to.
Things didn't improve much even after a couple weeks. And one morning, in English class, it all came to a head.
The teacher stood at the front of the class, detailing their assignment for the period. The book they'd been reading was Lord of the Flies. But Kari not only was behind due to joining a couple days after they started, but other things were on her mind so she never quite caught up. Whenever she thought she managed to, the class was already another step ahead. It had gotten to the point where she started taping notes to her arm under her sleeve and peeked at them to stealthily cheat on the quizzes.
“This assignment will be done in groups. I'll let you choose your groups. I recommend groups of three, but you can work in pairs if you want. Just get it done. And if I see you guys fooling around, picking your own groups will be a one time thing."
The students formed groups with their friends, like second nature. It happened fast, faster than she could process — and she felt lonelier than ever when it was over. The teacher warned the 'privilege' to pick their groups would be taken if they didn't get the work done… as a punishment!?
It wasn't like she could ask to work alone. Even if the teacher granted permission, she knew there wasn't a chance in hell she'd figure it out herself. Not without wasting the period skimming the book without aim, not finishing on time!
I guess I need to just pick some group to intrude on…
She looked around the room. Which group of strangers was she about to swallow her pride to?
But maybe that wasn’t needed. Behind her, sitting alone in the corner of the room was a certain someone she shared most classes with. Of all her new peers, he was the one who stuck out most. …Literally. He was of average height for a guy, but had a rather heavyset physique; definitely one of the heavier students in her grade. He had a round face, wide frame, and stocky limbs. His skin was sickly pale, and his dull, almost-black hair made that more pronounced. It was unkempt and went down to his neck, grew in loose waves that curled more at the ends. It covered his ears, as if to close himself off from his surroundings like one might use a pair of headphones. And, he always wore the same well-loved blue hoodie.
But it wasn't only his appearance that set him apart. It was also his behavior. He radiated a noxious aura of gloom that repelled all, and that was perhaps why she'd never once seen him interacting with anyone. He also often showed up late, and he didn't seem to ever participate. …Apathetic. That was a good word to describe him.
Although this standoffish outcast was most definitely not the inviting sort, it felt better asking to pair with him, seeing as he was in the same boat as her — unpaired.
But even so, that didn't make it not daunting. With welled up courage, Kari willed herself to move, and soon she was standing over his desk. Her dry mouth creaked open to ask the question.
"Hey, um… need a partner?"
…The boy didn't answer, as if on a different plane of existence. Kari waved her hand in front of his face.
"…Hey, hello? Boy in the blue hoodie?"
"Hh-! Huh??"
The boy flinched, he shook himself awake. His voice sounded weak, soft, and timid. "O-Oh, uh— Are you… talking to me…?"
"Yeah. Did you need a partner?"
He looked down at the floor, fidgeting with the drawstring of his hoodie. "…I guess so."
"Then, did you wanna work together? I need someone to work with…"
"…I… guess…" he answered again, unthrilled. He clearly just agreed not because he wanted to, but out of obligation.
"Okay. Uh, let's push our desks together then." Kari said hurrying back to her desk to grab her things.
She walked to a desk that was closer to the boy's, and pushed it, interlocking them so she could sit opposite of him. The boy didn't oblige. He didn't so much as twitch a muscle, so it was only Kari who did the 'pushing desks together.' And he still didn't move after Kari sat. Or speak either. It was awkward. But as awkward as it was, it was still not as bad as trying to join a group, or attempting it alone! She tried to fill the silence by reading over the paper that detailed the assignment, but there was something about the hapless boy in front of her who was doing nothing that made her keep looking at him. Her eyes alternated between the two. At the paper, at the boy. Paper, boy, paper… boy…
Looking at him more closely, he appeared as if he hadn't slept well in weeks. His sorrowful and tired eyes, dark and with almost as dark circles below, struggled to stay open. His lips were chapped despite it not being particularly cold or windy or dry. The hoodie was well-loved indeed, up close she could see its fabric pilling. Something else she fixated on was the boy's pale face. It was very… round. He's round all over, really. Chubby cheeks and a prominent double chin, nearly lacking a jawline—
'Stop staring, Kari,' her mother's voice suddenly went in her head. 'It's rude to stare. A person's weight is none of your business, and there is nothing wrong with being fat.'
Kari redirected her focus to the assignment, feeling a familiar warmth in her cheeks. Back to the task at hand.
"Um… did you want to get started?" Kari said, taking the initiative, again.
"I guess."
I guess. I guess. Was that his catchphrase or what? Would it have killed him to at least pretend like he cared? He didn't even react besides those two words he kept repeating. Just slouching, leaning on his elbow and sitting like a bump on a log.
Kari sighed, forcing herself to stay cool. She tried to reason that he's just having a bad day.
"Okay!" she said, trying to force a pleasant tone despite her wearing-thin patience. She brought the paper closer to her face and skimmed the directions once more. "…So, um what was it we had to do… draw some kind of grid for Lord of the Flies? …And it needs to explain symbolism behind stuff in the book."
…
No response from Mr. Gloomy.
Growing tense, frustration flared up. She was ready to pop from the anxiety of not doing well on an assignment, again! 'No wonder no one wants to pair up with him!' Seeing the boy's expression, however, her frustration immediately fizzled away. The boy was leaning forward, arms wrapped around his midsection, and wincing, breathing through gritted teeth.
"Um, hey… are you alright…?"
The boy's eyes met Kari's and went wide. They then darted to the digital clock in the corner of the room. 10:15 AM. He chewed his nails and swallowed a lump in his throat.
"Is something wrong…?"
"U-U-Uhh, sorry!" He yelped, as if an electric jolt was sent through him. He scrambled to pick up the paper. "I'm— fine. Let's start the… thingy. Sorry about that…"
It appeared he was maybe caring now. Hopefully. Kari read the first part of the paper again, trying to understand it.
"It's okay. …So for the symbolism grid, we need to explain what each of the following represents. Island, pigs, choir, plane crash, the beast, Simon, light, jungle, conch, Piggy's glasses, the twins, and dead pilot."
Kari stared at the paper in thought, her eyebrows furrowed. She had an idea of possible answers for a few of them, namely the ones from the beginning scenes such as the plane crash and the dead pilot. At least she was working with someone. …Now if only he'd say something.
"Um, hey," she verbally nudged, "Just so you know, …I need some help. I don't really know much of this, because…"
She turned to him. His eyes were shut. …Did he just nod off?
"Uh, hey, hello?"
Seriously!? She disgruntledly tapped her pencil on his desk.
"O-O-O-OH NOOO!!" He screamed, the entire room hearing it. He was so startled he nearly fell out of his chair. "Nonononononono… I am SO sorry, I-I'm tired, I didn't get much sleep, I know, not an excuse-!"
"Calm down—"
"Honestly I should've told you from the start! I don't know it that well, I can barely help you. I'm useless. This always happens. I always ruin everythiiiiing…"
His noisy breathing accelerated. He buried his face in his hands and trembled, not wanting anyone to see him continue to freak out.
"Hey, heeyyy, chill out…!" Kari said softly. "It's okay. You're tired. I haven't been sleeping very well lately either. So, I do understand that. Sorry about before, I understand. …Anyway, as I was trying to say, I'm new here and haven't caught up yet. So you're not alone…"
The boy lifted his face slightly, just enough for Kari to see his tired eyes darting around the room in distress. Then he looked at her.
"Huh? B-But… that doesn't make it better! You'll just get a bad grade and it'll be all my fault!"
"Don't say that. We'll wing it together."
He quieted, but his breathing was still elevated. He shook his head in disagreement.
"How much do you know…?" Kari asked him.
He looked at the paper and wiped his eyes with his sleeves.
"I know some of this, but…"
"Then you can help. …I do know a little, myself. We can do this."
The boy sighed, and he nodded, but not with faith.
"We'll see, I guess… I'll try harder to focus…"
"Oookay."
She hoped he was serious about that, but she wouldn't like someone being hard on her for lacking sleep. So she didn't want to be hard on him.
"Hey," she said, turning back to him. "Before we start for real, what's your name?"
He seized up yet again. And then, he looked perplexed.
"…Name…? Why do you wanna know…?"
"…So I know what to call you? Unless you want me to just keep calling you 'the blue hoodie boy' forever." Kari said with a tinge of lighthearted sass.
"Much better than what most call me…" he mumbled, hardly audible.
Kari frowned. "Huh?"
"Go on…" he sighed. "Say it…"
He seemed to look… threatened. Like he was bracing himself. Perhaps she had to be gentle.
"I don't know what you— …l-look. I just want us to be able to help each other with this assignment, and it would be a whole lot easier if we knew each other's names. Right? —You know what? I'll start. I'm Kari!"
She held out her hand for him to shake it. But he merely stared at, his lip quivering in fear. Then his eyes darted downward.
"I'm… M…Mmmilo."
"Ah, see, that's it, there we go! Milo.” Kari said warmly, retracting her rejected hand. Then she paused. “—W-wait. Ughh, did I really just rhyme?” She shut her eyes and shook her head, and tried to force-chuckle off her embarrassment. “I hate when I do that!”
Kari eyed Milo. He sat rigidly. He didn’t seem to know how to react.
“A-Anyway… um. …Nice to meet you, Milo.”
Together, Kari and Milo managed a not stellar, but passing grade. Which was good enough at the moment. Although the awkward interaction seemed as inconsequential as that assignment, it lingered in her mind as she went about her day. The way Milo stammered, trembled, the fear rattling his voice, she couldn't help but wonder… what was his deal?