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In the springtime, it’s still chilly in the mornings and evenings, but already too hot during the day. Since he gave the padded quilt to Wu Xiaowen, he sleeps under a few sheets, which isn’t too bad now, but sucked in the winter. Mo Sanbi is not looking forward to summer – if the air conditioning in the building breaks without getting fixed again, he swears that he’ll go and beat up the half-assed building manager.
Summer funerals are also the worst. Everyone is already miserable, but the heat makes everyone even more miserable, and no matter what you do, everything stinks. No matter how many flowers you have, or how much incense you burn, everyone is still sweating, the corpse still decays and stinks like formaldehyde.
In the early hours of the morning, Mo Sanbi has a nightmare that he doesn’t remember. He startles awake when there’s a clatter in the apartment, then sighs, falling back into bed and rubbing a hand over his face.
Kids are really too energetic. Little ones wake up early in the morning without feeling any difficulty, and the vitality of young people is nothing to scoff at. Although having lived under strict circumstances in jail, Mo Sanbi had also had to wake up and go to bed at certain times, back out in the world, he'd thought it would be different. He doesn’t have to go to work early – people don’t usually plan funerals for six in the morning.
But Wu Xiaowen is a little menace who wakes up at six, next door's walls are cardboard-thin, the neighbor kid, Zhang Yuan, is a good student who's never late to class, and thus Mo Sanbi is awake way earlier than he wants to be.
At least the guy living on the other side was decently quiet during the morning. Sure, he brought people home at an alarming rate, but it was so late that both Mo Sanbi and Wu Xiaowen were deep asleep then, and he didn't seem to wake up during the day until at least one in the afternoon. Mo Sanbi still doesn’t know what the guy does for a living, but he’s heard one of the aunties downstairs say that he was an artist.
“Ba…” Wu Xiaowen complains as Mo Sanbi sleepily makes up some hot-dry noodles for breakfast, “My schoolbag’s broke.” She’s sitting at the rickety dinner table Mo Sanbi keeps promising to fix and swinging her little legs as she watches the food with hungry eyes.
Mo Sanbi yawns until his jaw pops before he can answer her. “Broke? How’d it break? …Get a bowl.”
“One of the straps came off,” Wu Xiaowen says, standing on tiptoe and holding her bowl out expectantly. “Can you fix it?”
“You should've told me yesterday, you wanna be late for school or something?” Mo Sanbi admonishes her, emptying the pan into the girl’s bowl.
“You came home and pretty much passed out immediately,” Wu Xiaowen shrugs. “I can just wear it on one shoulder today.”
“Yeah, and get laughed at by the other kids. Don’t think so.”
Wu Xiaowen is about to dig into her breakfast when she looks up. “What about you? You gonna eat?”
“I’ll eat later,” Mo Sanbi says off-handedly. “Lemme wash up and get dressed. I’ll take you to school today, and buy you a new bag on the way, yeah?”
“A new bag?”
Mo Sanbi smiles crookedly. “Great payout yesterday. Two funerals in a day – almost was a third,” he jabs a thumb at himself, “…But now we’ll get you a new bag. And y’know what? We can go out for dinner.”
Wu Xiaowen’s eyes light up. “Ba, can we take Yuan-ge-ge?”
Mo Sanbi pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh… We’ll have to ask him. He’s a busy guy, y’know. A big student. He can’t always play with you.”
Wu Xiaowen rolls her eyes. “Yes, he can,” she says, making a face. “He always does.”
Mo Sanbi rolls his eyes back at her. “Eat, eat, you wanna be late?”
He takes a quick, cold shower, the hot water left for Wu Xiaowen when she comes back from school.
By the time he’s out and dressed, Wu Xiaowen has her bag packed and breakfast finished. “Ba, do my hair,” she orders, handing him two little rubber bands.
Mo Sanbi, who had his hair buzzed down ever since he could remember, now having a little girl in the house, knows how to do exactly two hairstyles: ‘Nezha buns’ and ‘ponytail.’ Today, it’s ‘Nezha.’ Wu Xiaowen could probably do her own hair, and it might even look better if she were the one to do it. But if it makes her feel better to get Mo Sanbi to do it, it’s no huge annoyance.
Coming out of the door, Wu Xiaowen jumps up and down, grinning, then runs over to the neighbors’ door where Zhang Yuan is just locking up. “Yuan-ge-ge!” she exclaims.
“Xiaowen! Good morning!” Zhang Yuan greets, then looks over at Mo Sanbi, smiling sunnily. “San-ge.”
“Hey.” Mo Sanbi smiles back. “…Elevator’s out again,” he adds. “Wouldn’t work when I came back last night.”
That’s what sucks about living on the eighth floor.
Holding Wu Xiaowen’s schoolbag by the strap that’s still mostly attached, Mo Sanbi follows behind Wu Xiaowen and Zhang Yuan down the stairs, amused by the way the little girl explains her last week’s sports event at school, and the sweet and patient way Zhang Yuan listens to the meandering story.
Zhang Yuan is probably the best person Mo Sanbi knows. He moved in right next door with his father five months ago, but their first real meeting was three months ago when they were both taking the trash out at the same time – Mo Sanbi shuffling out with a cigarette in his mouth and Zhang Yuan rushing by.
For a second, Zhang Yuan looks at him and smiles, then goes to jog down the narrow staircase instead of taking the elevator.
Maybe it sounds underwhelming. The first time they see each other is with a trash bag in each hand and busy thoughts about their own lives and business in their heads. But with the dimly flickering hallway light illuminating the young man for a few moments before he turned, Mo Sanbi thought that he just… Seemed nice. He'd made a good first impression.
Not a lot of people smile at him like that.
The second time was a few days later, when the elevator stopped working again. Holding a cardboard box full of groceries under one arm, Mo Sanbi has been impatiently jabbed the elevator button, but the damn thing really seems like it's not coming down.
At that moment, Zhang Yuan comes down the stairs with his book bag over his shoulder. "Ah, it doesn't work anymore," he tells him. "The building manager said someone would deal with it, but…" he shrugs.
Mo Sanbi cusses. "…Oh," he says, nodding his head.
"My name's Zhang Yuan," the kid says. "I think we're neighbors."
"Yeah. We are." He awkwardly switches the cardboard box of groceries from one arm to the other and offers his hand in a handshake. "Mo Sanbi. Everyone calls me San-ge, though."
Zhang Yuan shakes his hand, smiling. "Alright, San-ge!"
Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his head, somewhat at a loss. From that day onwards, they’d begun to run into each other more and more often – and when Wu Xiaowen meets him properly, Zhang Yuan becomes a permanent fixture in their lives.
“…San-ge?”
Mo Sanbi blinks out of his thoughts to realize they’re at the bottom of the stairs, and Zhang Yuan had just asked him a question. “Ah?”
“Xiaowen just invited me for dinner,” Zhang Yuan says, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah. Just the noodle place down the street,” Mo Sanbi says, then pauses. “Unless you’re busy.”
“See!” Wu Xiaowen complains. “I told you, ah! Ba won’t say ‘no’!”
Mo Sanbi stuffs his hands deep into the pockets of his shorts, opens his mouth to say something, then doesn’t. Zhang Yuan’s eyes glitter as he smiles.
--
Mo Sanbi always seems to eat like he's not eaten in years – and it makes him look a lot younger, eyes concentrated and round, cheeks also round – Zhang Yuan can't help thinking that this man is really cute sometimes. He hides a grin as he sips tea.
“Yuan-ge-ge,” Wu Xiaowen says, “We have a test at school tomorrow.”
“Yeah, for what?”
“Science,” Wu Xiaowen makes a face. “I don’t get it at all.”
“If you show me what you have to study, I could explain it,” Zhang Yuan offers. “As long as it’s not English, I can help you.”
Wu Xiaowen nods. “Okay! I will. My dad’s good at math ‘cause he likes money, but he doesn’t like other stuff. I don’t like other stuff either.”
Mo Sanbi looks at her with narrowed eyes.
“What?”
“Stop making me look bad,” he grumbles. “Just ‘cause you don’t like something doesn’t mean you can skimp on it. Yuan-zi is a cultured person, Xiaowen, ah. Not like me. Grow up into someone like him, yeah?” He nudges Zhang Yuan with his elbow. “… Weren’t you the top of your class in high school?”
Zhang Yuan looks down. “…Yeah, but it’s not like I’m going to a great university or anything…”
“Hey, you’re going to university. That’s already better than most people I know.” Mo Sanbi puts a slice of meat on the young man’s rice. He looks at Wu Xiaowen. “…Eat the carrots.”
“They don’t even taste good.”
“I know, but you gotta, anyway.”
--
At this point, the time Zhang Yuan stays at Mo Sanbi’s apartment is more than he does at his mother’s.
The summer night is warm and thankfully drier than the humid day had been. They stand side-by-side on the tiny balcony, and Mo Sanbi gets his cigarettes out. Reflexively, he offers the box to Zhang Yuan, and is surprised when Zhang Yuan looks up at him and asks, "Is it really okay?"
"Sure," Mo Sanbi says, shrugging, a little amused.
Zhang Yuan takes it and puts it in his mouth. He holds the unlit cigarette with his lips, then leans forward into the lighter that Mo Sanbi holds out for him. There's something a little ambiguous about the gesture, and Mo Sanbi finds himself looking away and flicking the lighter closed quite quickly.
As Zhang Yuan attempts to smoke, he begins to cough. He holds the cigarette stiffly between his fingers and looks up with reddened eyes. For some reason, it makes him look even younger.
Mo Sanbi feels a little guilty, like he's corrupting him or taking advantage of him somehow or something. "If you can’t smoke, then don't smoke," he scolds, snatching the cigarette from him and sticking it in his own mouth. "What kinda habits are you trying to pick up from me, ah?"
Zhang Yuan is staring at the cigarette, face red, as if he's embarrassed to be caught out like that. He looks back up at Mo Sanbi's eyes and nods. "I just… Wanted to see what it was like," he says.
Mo Sanbi sighs, looking away from him and out at the street below, letting out a steady stream of smoke. "…Sometimes, you don't gotta try things to know they're bad for you," he says quietly, rubbing the back of his head. "Some things, you just shouldn't try at all. You're a good student with a bright future. You should take care of yourself better."
Zhang Yuan grips the railing and looks down too, for a few moments. "San-ge… How do I know if something's bad if I don't try it? What if… What if I like it a whole lot?" He's almost mumbling by the end, gaze fixed away.
Smiling crookedly, Mo Sanbi takes a drag of his cigarette and glances over at Zhang Yuan. "We still talking about these cheap things?"
The back of Zhang Yuan's neck becomes red, and he looks down. "…Whatever."
--
Mo Sanbi comes home late from work one night to find Wu Xiaowen sitting at the table and doing homework and Zhang Yuan sitting cross-legged on the floor with his chunky laptop in his lap, occasionally giving her some pointers.
He can’t help smiling to himself as he hangs his keys up, but quickly hides it when Zhang Yuan looks up at him and meets his eyes. “San-ge! Sorry, Xiaowen invited me in, she’s got an essay due tomorrow, and-”
“C’mon, what’re you being polite for? You practically live here anyway,” Mo Sanbi grumbles, going to put some water on. The stove clicks at him when he tries to turn it on and doesn’t turn on until he hits the side of it a few times. “Want tea?”
“Thank you, San-ge…”
Mo Sanbi rolls his eyes.
Zhang Yuan gets up. “San-ge, you notice anything different about me today?” he asks, almost coyly.
Mo Sanbi squints at him – Zhang Yuan doesn’t look different from any other day – fluffy bangs, baggy clothes, skinny arms and legs. “Looks the same as always,” he says. “You get a new shirt?”
Zhang Yuan proudly turns to the side. "Check it out!" The bottom lobe of his ear is reddened, and a little metallic stud glints there. "I got it done on the way home today!"
Mo Sanbi feels a little conflicted. Sure, it’s a different era now, and it’s not quite as meaningful, rebellious, or subversive for a boy to get an ear pierced – probably just fashionable – but the associations are still there. Hell, he got his ear pierced back in the nineties, and re-pierced when he got out of jail. But he doesn’t want to seem like an old-fashioned old guy, so he nods.
“Nice,” he says gruffly. The kid’s good-looking no matter what he does, anyway.
“Can I get my ears pierced too?” Wu Xiaowen asks.
“When you’re older,” Mo Sanbi says automatically.
“Tomorrow?”
“Way older.”
“Next year?”
“When you’re, uh, sixteen,” Mo Sanbi haphazardly picks an appropriate-sounding age – although when it comes to girls, he really doesn’t know what’s right or not.
“That’s ages away!” she complains.
Mo Sanbi shrugs. The kettle begins to whistle.
--
Zhang Yuan leans against the wall separating his bedroom from Mo Sanbi’s living room as he sits cross-legged in his bed. The wall is cool, but the air is hot and moist, and he can hear the constant clatter of his mother’s keyboard in the next room setting his teeth on edge. He plucks at his sweat-dampened tank top.
He presses his forehead against the wall, shutting his eyes. Through the wall, he can hear Mo Sanbi pacing and yelling on the phone.
"I said roses! Roses! What, you can't understand human speech, ah?!" Mo Sanbi is yelling into the phone. "You tell me, what kind of business is this? What the hell am I supposed to do with that many lilies? …No, it’s not the same goddamn thing!"
Zhang Yuan quietly smiles, turning so that his cheek is pressed against the wall. When Mo Sanbi stops yelling and hangs up, Zhang Yuan can hear him throw himself onto his couch, right there up against where Zhang Yuan sits.
Softly, he knocks a few times.
On the other side of the wall, Mo Sanbi starts, then relaxes, sighing. “Yuan-zi?” he asks through the wall. “Sorry. Had to resolve a couple business matters. Did I bother you studying?"
Zhang Yuan raises his voice through the wall, but not too much. “No,” he says. “I didn’t mind it.”
Mo Sanbi huffs, smiling crookedly, leaning his head back against the wall as well.
--
Zhang Yuan has early morning classes on Tuesdays, and so he leaves before Mo Sanbi and Wu Xiaowen that day. Peering out the window, still in her pajamas, Wu Xiaowen looks at the young man getting on his bicycle and riding off down the street. "Ba, I'm gonna marry Yuan-ge-ge," she informs Mo Sanbi.
"No way," Mo Sanbi immediately replies without thinking as he stands over the stove, frying up breakfast.
"Why not?"
"Because… Because you're too young to be thinking about marriage."
"You're not young."
"Hey!"
"So, you marry him."
"…Hah?" The spatula clatters against the pan.
"This way he still stays in the family," Wu Xiaowen says with a disturbingly solemn pragmatism.
Mo Sanbi turns the gas off. "That's not how that-” he begins, but Wu Xiaowen isn’t listening anymore, running off to put her school clothes on.
--
Mo Sanbi’s other neighbor, Yang Xiuxian, isn’t someone Zhang Yuan likes very much. He’s too sleazy, and every time they interact, it feels like he’s looking down on Zhang Yuan somehow. And then there’s also the fact that he flirts with Mo Sanbi.
Mo Sanbi seems to shrug it off, either not quite realizing, or not bothering to care – but Zhang Yuan has to grit his teeth every time. In some ways, he even wishes he was a little like Yang Xiuxian – that easygoing and confident, someone who’s grown up enough. Of course, Yang Xiuxian is too easygoing, to the point of being some kind of scummy man – Zhang Yuan is pretty sure that he’s seeing at least five people and going out almost every night.
“Mo-da-ge,” Yang Xiuxian greets smoothly as they run into each other in the freshly repaired elevator. As if only just noticing Zhang Yuan, Yang Xiuxian gives him an equally sleazy smile. “Oh, Yuan-Yuan is here too.”
Zhang Yuan glares at him. Mo Sanbi grunts something that sounds like a greeting.
“San-ge, I’m afraid I’ve got to ask you for a favor,” Yang Xiuxian says. “I was planning on cooking today, but I’m totally out of sugar. Could you give me some?”
Somehow, even saying completely normal things, Yang Xiuxian manages to make them sound suggestive.
“Sure,” Mo Sanbi says. “What’re you making?”
Yang Xiuxian’s eyes curve up and he smirks. “Haven’t decided.”
Mo Sanbi snorts. “How do you know you need sugar, then?” he asks. Zhang Yuan grins proudly. That’s his ‘straight guy’ San-ge, alright!
Yang Xiuxian leans over. “Everyone needs a bit of sweetness, yeah?”
Zhang Yuan makes a face at him. Yang Xiuxian winks. Mo Sanbi checks the time on his watch as the elevator dings and opens.
--
Mo Sanbi has only just started with buzzing his hair down when there's a knock on the door and he has to brush off his hair into the sink as best he can, put on a tank top, and go answer it.
Zhang Yuan stands in the doorway, holding a large, covered dish, smiling brightly. "San-ge! You want some cake?"
Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck. “Is it someone’s birthday?”
Zhang Yuan’s grin momentarily dims. “My mom was supposed to be back from her business trip today, but she’s gonna be over there for another week.”
Mo Sanbi sighs. "Come on in."
"We can eat when Xiaowen gets back home. You, uh, missed a spot," Zhang Yuan says as he puts the cake into the fridge.
Mo Sanbi runs a hand over the unevenness. "I wasn't done."
"Do you want me to do it?"
Mo Sanbi blinks slowly. "…Sure."
Zhang Yuan grins. Mo Sanbi sits on the edge of the bathtub as Zhang Yuan buzzes down his hair. Zhang Yuan’s fingers are cool from the cake plate as he runs the clippers behind his ear, and brushes hair off the back of his neck. This is probably a bad idea, but when Zhang Yuan shows him the result, Mo Sanbi is forced to change his mind – it looks way better than when he does it himself.
“Thanks,” he mutters.
--
When Wu Xiaowen comes home from school, Mo Sanbi is already making dinner – a stir-fried spicy chicken thing – just putting in things that would go bad otherwise. Zhang Yuan is slicing onions, so his eyes are a little red and he keeps sniffling.
Wu Xiaowen throws her schoolbag down and runs over. “Ba, did you bully Yuan-ge-ge?”
Zhang Yuan bursts out laughing. “Xiaowen, I’m cutting onions.”
Mo Sanbi is annoyed. “Hey, is that the first thing you think of? What kinda guy you think I am? Go do your homework and don’t bother the adults.”
“Your dad is very, very good to me,” Zhang Yuan says. “San-ge, you wouldn’t make me cry, right?” he jokes, turning back to Mo Sanbi.
Mo Sanbi’s brain goes blank as he imagines. “…Right,” he says, and claps him on the shoulder like a bro. “…Hurry up, the peppers are gonna burn.”
--
They eat dinner together, and Mo Sanbi brings out the cake from the fridge. Wu Xiaowen’s eyes turn into little stars. Zhang Yuan laughs and wipes red sauce from her cheek.
“Tell Yuan-zi ‘thank you’,” Mo Sanbi instructs.
“Thank you, thank you!” Wu Xiaowen exclaims.
Feeling a little awkward, Zhang Yuan gets up. “I’ll get some plates.”
There’s just enough cake for three people. The frosting is a little too thick, but otherwise it’s a very good homemade cake, and the pleasant, cold sweetness puts them all in an even better mood.
When the kid has gone to bed, Mo Sanbi gets a pack of cans of beer out of the fridge and offers one to Zhang Yuan. Zhang Yuan takes it with a grin, and they sit cross-legged on the floor by the open balcony door, feeling the cooling air. Mo Sanbi chugs his until he gets brain freeze a little, but finally feels cooler.
Zhang Yuan plucks at his tank top and rests the cold can against his cheek. “Ah, thanks,” he says.
“For what?”
“Just… Thanks,” he says, a little awkwardly.
Mo Sanbi reaches over and ruffles his hair, making an amused sound. “What are you being polite for, ah? Xiaowen likes you better than me at this point, so aren’t we all one family?”
Zhang Yuan laughs. “That’s not true.”
“Oh yeah?” Mo Sanbi opens another can of beer and starts chugging it. “I’m telling you, kid, you’ll make a great dad one day.”
Taking a sip from his own can, Zhang Yuan shrugs. “I hope so. I’d want to be a good husband, a good father, a good game developer – someone who’s all-around good at stuff.”
“You’ll work it out. You’re still young, you have a good chance at all that.” Mo Sanbi thinks in a melancholy slant. “Get married, have kids, make money, do stuff you like.” He snorts, finishing off his can. “Not that I’ve got much of a right to be telling you, but it works for other people.”
“I think San-ge is great,” Zhang Yuan says.
"C'mere," Mo Sanbi orders.
Zhang Yuan obediently shuffles over.
Mo Sanbi drapes an arm over Zhang Yuan's shoulders. "You're a good guy, Yuan-zi," Mo Sanbi says decisively. "You're good at cooking, Xiaowen likes you…" He raises his beer can in a toast. "Even after you graduate and get a proper job and leave, make sure to e-mail me or something, yeah? Xiaowen is gonna miss you like hell."
Zhang Yuan looks embarrassed. "San-ge…" He bites his lip and then looks up, eyes shining. "Believe it or not, I'll remember you all my life!"
What a thing to say.
Mo Sanbi could kiss him, he realizes. He wouldn't even have to lean very far, and he could just blame it on the drink. "…Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Mo Sanbi watches his face for a few moments more, and then smiles crookedly, letting him go and laying back on the floor, his arms folded under his head. He watches the ceiling as he can hear Zhang Yuan shifting beside him. "…D'you learn that from a TV show?" he asks, huffing out a laugh. "This kid… You sure know how to sweet-talk."
Zhang Yuan smacks his arm, laughing. "I'm serious!"
"Sure, sure."
--
“San-ge!”
Mo Sanbi opens the door to see Zhang Yuan standing there with a large watermelon in a plastic bag. “Hey?”
Zhang Yuan grins. “I brought you a watermelon.”
“C’mon, why buy stuff for me, ah? Go give it to your mother or something-”
“She’s on a business trip,” Zhang Yuan says breezily. “Anyway, I work at a grocery store, so it’s practically free for me and Xiaowen said she wanted some – and it’s summertime! How can we have summer without watermelons?”
Mo Sanbi can’t argue with that logic. “…Come on in.”
Wu Xiaowen sits cross-legged on the couch, right in front of the rickety metal fan, and hops up when she sees Zhang Yuan and the watermelon. “Yuan-ge-ge!”
“Hey!” He turns back to Mo Sanbi. “I’ll cut this up in the kitchen.”
Mo Sanbi grunts in assent and goes back to trying to do Wu Xiaowen’s hair.
After Wu Xiaowen saw some cartoon movie with a princess in it, the kid wanted to get her hair done just like the cartoon. Mo Sanbi, who is willing to give it a try, realizes that it's really not that easy. A braid at the side sounds simple, in theory, but it ends up looking really strange and lopsided, sticking out horizontally from the side of her head. He undoes it and tries again. This time, Xiaowen complains it's too tight.
Zhang Yuan, who had been cutting up the watermelon all this time, comes out of the kitchen while wiping his hands. "Here, let me try," Zhang Yuan says.
"Go for it." Mo Sanbi hands the kid over to him, and Zhang Yuan very seriously begins to braid her hair. Somehow, it ends up looking even worse. The two men exchange helpless looks and shrugs over the little girl's head.
"Don't panic, I'll look up a tutorial on my phone," Zhang Yuan says.
Xiaowen rolls her eyes. "Yuan-ge-ge, it doesn't look like Ai-Sha at all!"
"Be patient, okay, Xiaowen? Yuan-ge-ge and Dad will figure it out."
Zhang Yuan speeds through the hair tutorial video with Mo Sanbi leaning over his shoulder to look. "I think her hair's too short," he says in a low voice.
"True…" Zhang Yuan turns back to Wu Xiaowen and smiles. "Xiaowen, how about I make your hair look like the other princess?"
"But she's not as cool!"
Zhang Yuan, who only knows what the posters look like, and knows nothing whatsoever about the movie itself, widens his eyes, as if a little hurt. Mo Sanbi watches this performance with admiration. "You really think so? Actually, she's Yuan-ge-ge's favorite!"
Xiaowen blinks, then thinks about this seriously. "…Alright," she finally says.
Zhang Yuan winks at Mo Sanbi, to which Mo Sanbi has a delayed reaction. Zhang Yuan quickly braids Wu Xiaowen's hair into two more-or-less even braids. If she looks more like a child from an old propaganda poster than a Disney princess, nobody mentions it.
"Let's eat watermelon!"
With a plate of watermelon wedges in the middle, they sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the fan, the balcony door open. Wu Xiaowen has watermelon juice all the way up from her cheeks to her ears, and Mo Sanbi has given up on trying to wipe it. Zhang Yuan rubs watermelon juice from his mouth with the back of his hand, and Mo Sanbi quickly goes back to paying attention to his own share of the fruit.
“Can we go to the zoo?” Wu Xiaowen asks. “It’s the weekend, you said we could go somewhere-”
“It’s this damn hot, you still wanna go outside?” Mo Sanbi complains.
“It’s hotter inside anyway! Please, please, please-”
“Okay, okay, fine,” Mo Sanbi says quickly.
Wu Xiaowen’s eyes light up. Take an inch, take a mile. “Can Yuan-ge-ge come too?”
Mo Sanbi rolls his eyes. “That’s up to ‘Yuan-ge-ge,’” he says dryly, and then snorts as Zhang Yuan chokes.
“Uh, yeah, I’d love to,” Zhang Yuan says.
--
They make a strange group – a cute little girl, a handsome young student, and the scruffy-looking Mo Sanbi in his floral shirt and the cigarette behind his ear. He feels a little self-conscious, wondering whether he looks like a gangster kidnapping two kids, but Zhang Yuan smiles at him over Wu Xiaowen’s head as she holds one of their hands in each of hers and pulls them forward, demanding to see one animal or another – which makes Mo Sanbi wonder guiltily if they actually look like a family.
“It’s still hot!” Wu Xiaowen finally complains. “Can I have ice cream? Please.”
Mo Sanbi tries to count in his head today’s expenses, but Zhang Yuan is already buying it for her. “San-ge, what flavor do you want?” he asks.
“What am I, a kid?” Mo Sanbi grumbles. “Don’t bother with me.”
“San-ge, just say what you like!”
Mo Sanbi’s mouth goes dry. “…Dunno. Whatever you get.”
Wu Xiaowen gets chocolate, and the two men get strawberry, sitting on the bench in front of the monkey enclosure. “Look, that one’s eating a mango!” Wu Xiaowen says, excitedly. “He’s looking at me!” She waves, but the animal scampers off.
Zhang Yuan absentmindedly sucks on the popsicle and Mo Sanbi very pointedly does not look at his plump lips, slightly reddened and swollen from the cold, slick with sugar. Not only because he’s trying to make sure Wu Xiaowen doesn’t fall into the monkey enclosure from excitement, but because that just wouldn’t be right.
So, when Zhang Yuan looks up at him, lips still wrapped around the popsicle, Mo Sanbi quickly looks in the opposite direction. Because he wasn’t even looking to begin with.
--
"Young man, could you take a picture of us?"
A middle-aged couple with a middle-school-aged kid approach Zhang Yuan, and Mo Sanbi watches as Zhang Yuan grins and snaps a few pictures, handing the phone back. Then Zhang Yuan pauses and hands his own phone to the husband. "Could you please take one of us too?" he asks, then quickly runs over, links his arm through Mo Sanbi's and drags him over to stand in front of the wall, Wu Xiaowen posing in front of them like a little Kung Fu master.
Mo Sanbi stands awkwardly, arm still linked through Zhang Yuan's.
"Smile, San-ge!" Zhang Yuan complains.
Mo Sanbi looks over at him and snorts at the wide grin and enthusiastic peace sign the kid has. "Look at you," he mutters.
Zhang Yuan reaches over and pokes the corners of his mouth, and Mo Sanbi swats his hands away, laughing. He turns back towards the phone camera, grinning.
The couple hand Zhang Yuan his phone back. "How long have you been together?" the lady asks.
Zhang Yuan's mouth opens and closes. Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck. "Uh," they both say, then look at each other with a growing panic.
"We're not-" begins Mo Sanbi, just as, "Two years!" Zhang Yuan cheekily lies. Wu Xiaowen nods seriously. It’s true they’ve known each other for around two years, but-
When they're gone, Mo Sanbi playfully smacks the back of Zhang Yuan's head. "Stop playing around," he complains.
"What, it's not like we know them!" Zhang Yuan tries to duck away, laughing. "The look on your face-"
Mo Sanbi catches him in a playful headlock and ruffles his hair. "Who knew, our golden student Xiao-Yuan-zi is actually a troublemaker, ah?"
Zhang Yuan looks up at him through his fluffy bangs, eyes sparkling in the warm sun. Mo Sanbi keeps looking at him for a moment before he realizes what he's doing, then lets him go, giving him a brotherly slap on the shoulder and stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"You wanna eat something?" he asks Wu Xiaowen and Zhang Yuan and rolls his eyes at the resounding yes. It's true, young people are always hungry.
--
They manage to get on the train before the crowd of nightlife enjoyers begin to go out, and workers go home, and so there are two whole seats available. Wu Xiaowen sits in Mo Sanbi's lap and falls asleep pretty much immediately, gently drooling onto his tank top, while Zhang Yuan manages to restrain himself until about halfway home. His head slowly droops onto Mo Sanbi's shoulder, and Mo Sanbi doesn't have the heart to push him off. The hot sun must've gotten to them both – and Zhang Yuan had been studying so hard recently.
Zhang Yuan limply rests against his side. He smells like a vaguely herbal shampoo and crisp laundry detergent, like a fresh bath towel in a nice hotel. The top of his fluffy hair tickles the underside of his nose, but he can't move either of his arms to push it away, otherwise he'd wake either Wu Xiaowen or Zhang Yuan himself.
He knows he's getting looks from an old lady sitting across from them, but he's determined not to make eye contact.
--
Mo Sanbi is returning home from work and taking the elevator up, when he sees Yang Xiuxian stumble up, and so in a show of basic human decency, he holds the elevator door open for him.
“Good evening!” Yang Xiuxian greets.
Mo Sanbi raises an eyebrow. “Hey,” he says slowly.
“San-ge, would you like to become my model? My muse? I’ve suddenly been hit by artistic inspiration.”
Mo Sanbi stares at him. “You’ve been hit by insanity, more likely,” he mutters.
It turns out Yang Xiuxian is super drunk. When he leans over and looks at Mo Sanbi with flirtatiously narrowed eyes, a wave of alcoholic scent pours off him. "I'm serious. I think you'd make a really great painting," he says. "Would you like to model for me tonight?"
“Oh, you mean…” Mo Sanbi snorts. "How desperate are you? What, you couldn't find a pretty girl at the bar?"
"Why would I need a pretty girl? There's a pretty man right here in front of me."
Mo Sanbi, a big man who has never before been called pretty in his life, and didn't expect to ever be called that, especially at this age, just stares for a few seconds. "Kid, go and sleep it off," he says. "You're so drunk you're hallucinating."
"Alright… I'll listen to you. I'll go to bed." Yang Xiuxian smirks. "How about you make sure I get there?"
Mo Sanbi rolls his eyes. "You're really asking for a beating," he mutters.
The elevator door opens, and Yang Xiuxian staggers out. He turns back, and then ends up unbalanced, leaning onto Mo Sanbi. "Whoops," he says, voice low and breathless.
Mo Sanbi pushes him off. “Watch it!”
Yang Xiuxian reels away, chuckling. He tips over and falls to the ground. Mo Sanbi sighs and goes to pull him up. Yang Xiuxian leans on him. “You know I like it rough,” he slurs.
“If you don’t shut your mouth, I really will leave you,” Mo Sanbi growls, getting Yang Xiuxian’s keys out his jacket pocket and getting the door open.
Mo Sanbi is about to push Yang Xiuxian off and leave him on the floor of his own apartment, when the door of the Zhang family's apartment opens, and Zhang Yuan appears, about to take out the trash.
He stares at Mo Sanbi with Yang Xiuxian in his arms, the open door, the keys in Mo Sanbi’s hand, then dips his head, mutters an incomprehensible greeting, and runs by, taking the stairs down two at a time. Mo Sanbi can't see his expression, but he had looked unhappy in the moments before he ran off, eyes beginning to redden in a way that makes Mo Sanbi's chest feel uncomfortably tight.
"Fucking hell," Mo Sanbi mutters, shoving off Yang Xiuxian, really suddenly wanting to hit him, "Get your ass in there before I kick you, you heard me?! Fuck!"
"Good night!" Yang Xiuxian says in a sing-song voice from the floor. "If you ever change your mind-"
"Piss off." He slams the door.
--
The next day, when Mo Sanbi and Zhang Yuan meet again, taking the elevator up – Mo Sanbi is returning home from the funeral hall, and Zhang Yuan is coming up from his part-time job at the grocery store. Zhang Yuan is subdued. He doesn't meet Mo Sanbi's eyes, even though he's obviously trying to appear cheery and friendly. He’d avoided him this morning, too, where usually they’d go out at the same time, Zhang Yuan’s door stayed shut.
Mo Sanbi holds the elevator door open for him, and Zhang Yuan, who’d been looking at the stairs, shuffles in with his head down. "Oh, hey, San-ge."
"What's wrong?"
Zhang Yuan looks away and scuffs his shoes. "It's… Nothing."
"Bullshit," Mo Sanbi says, not particularly sharply. "Come on."
Zhang Yuan shrugs and smiles. "Really nothing."
"Just say it."
"It's not important-"
"If you're upset, of course it's important!"
Impulsively, Mo Sanbi jabs the elevator stop button between floors. Zhang Yuan looks shocked, and Mo Sanbi, also shocked at his own capability for drama, tries not to show it and not back down.
"San-ge?" Zhang Yuan gasps.
"Talk!"
"I… I just… I'm really not mad or anything, it's stupid-"
"Are you gonna talk or not?"
"I…" Zhang Yuan messes with the string of his sweatshirt. "I just didn't know you were close with Yang-ge. He doesn't seem like… I don't know. It's really none of my business. I shouldn't've thought anything. It's really nothing!"
"I'm not close with him."
"Um…?"
"You're upset 'cause you thought I slept with him?”
Zhang Yuan opens, then closes his mouth, then looks away, giving an awkward, forced laugh. "San-ge, what kind of things are you saying, it doesn't matter, I don't know about-"
"I didn’t.”
"…W-what?"
"I didn't sleep with him. He flirted with me in the elevator, and I almost punched him when he fell on me, but we didn't sleep together. I got him inside and left him there."
"O-oh," Zhang Yuan says.
Mo Sanbi finally lets the elevator keep going up and breathes out a sigh of relief when it works – because it would've seriously sucked if they'd gotten stuck between floors for the six or whatever hours it would take for someone to actually get the repairers over. He rubs the back of his head. "Yuan-zi," he finally says awkwardly, "You can get mad if I ever flirt with other people. Get really, really mad and yell at me directly." He clears his throat. "I mean, I'm not going to," he clarifies, "But it'll be your right to get mad. If you want."
As far as confessions go, it's really half-assed. Not only is the content and meaning of his words a little incomprehensible, but Mo Sanbi's incredibly thick accent thickens even more from embarrassment, and though he looks somewhat earnestly at Zhang Yuan, Zhang Yuan stares back at him with wide eyes and blinks.
The elevator dings and opens.
They step out.
"…San-ge," Zhang Yuan says quietly, "You mean…"
Mo Sanbi fumbles with his keys and gets his door open. "Let's go home and you can say whatever," he says quickly.
Zhang Yuan grins. "Okay!"
Inside, Mo Sanbi turns the fan on and pours juice into a cup for Zhang Yuan and sets it on the table in front of him. "I know you like me," Mo Sanbi says. "I know it's a terrible idea, and I'm probably old enough to be your dad, and you should get over it pretty quick, but for the time being, I don't mind it. I, uh, I can handle it."
Zhang Yuan stands up. "San-ge, you're saying…"
"Take it easy,” Mo Sanbi sighs.
"You're not old enough to be my dad," Zhang Yuan blurts out, sitting down on the couch and pulling Mo Sanbi down to sit down beside him.
"Kid, I'm-" Mo Sanbi tries to think, "Around thirty-two? I think."
"I'm twenty. And Xiaowen says you’re good at math."
"Look, all I'm saying is-"
"You like me?" Zhang Yuan's eyes are round. “I like you. If you like me, then why should we think about other stuff?”
Fuck.
Mo Sanbi leans forward and quickly kisses his lips. Zhang Yuan freezes, then blinks several times and can't help grinning stupidly, touching his own mouth with his fingertips while looking down.
"San-ge…"
Mo Sanbi smiles crookedly. "Yeah?"
Zhang Yuan doesn't know what to say, just looks down, still dumbly smiling and rubbing his lips with his fingertips.
Mo Sanbi smacks his hand away, and leans over to kiss him again, a hand on his leg seeming to hold the both of them in place. Zhang Yuan's eyes widen, then flutter closed as he opens his mouth slightly and leans forward to meet him.
The room is quiet; the metal fan rattling in the background, and the window is open, so the traffic down on the street is faintly audible, but what fills Zhang Yuan's head is the slight wet sound of kissing and breathlessness.
Mo Sanbi might not be taller than Zhang Yuan, but he's much stronger, and there's something overwhelming about the way he nudges Zhang Yuan down and kisses him so hard the narrow couch creaks underneath them – Zhang Yuan's heart is beating so fast that he's afraid it'll jump out of his throat, and though his body feels good, something akin to panic sets in even as his blood surges with arousal. Are they going to do it? Right here? Right now? Just like that?
Mo Sanbi's mustache scrapes roughly Zhang Yuan's upper lip, and Zhang Yuan struggles to breathe. He likes him. He really likes him. But right now, Zhang Yuan realizes that he isn't really doing anything, just desperately gripping Mo Sanbi's shoulders and trying to kiss him back as best he can – he's really not good at this. If they go any further, how much more disappointing is he going to be?
Then Mo Sanbi's hands are sliding up under his shirt, too hot against Zhang Yuan's overheated skin, sending shivers through him and causing him to involuntarily arch into the touch. They part for a moment, gasping for air, and then Mo Sanbi kisses him even harder, licking into his mouth, moving forward with one of his thighs between Zhang Yuan's legs, causing Zhang Yuan's hips to cant up. Zhang Yuan gasps against Mo Sanbi's mouth, there's something hard pressing against his thigh, and then his phone rings loudly.
Zhang Yuan yelps, breaks the kiss, falls off the couch, and scrambles to pick the phone up. "H-hello?"
Mo Sanbi sits up, blinking.
"Hey, Zhang Yuan? You left your sweatshirt in the store," his co-worker's voice says. "I'm in your neighborhood, at the bus stop right across from the noodle place – do you want me to give it to you?"
"Oh, crap! I totally forgot! Yeah! I'll go meet you right now!"
Mo Sanbi rubs a hand over his head, expression somewhere between disbelieving and a little wronged.
"San-ge, sorry, I have to pick something up!" Zhang Yuan blurts out breathlessly and runs out. "Bye-bye-thanks-see-you-later!"
The full glass of juice remains on the table.
--
Zhang Yuan is nervous, unsure of what he should say to explain himself when he sees Mo Sanbi again, but at first it seems that the way Mo Sanbi behaves towards him is pretty much the same as before. Mo Sanbi doesn't try to kiss him again, or even touch him too much, unless it's a brotherly pat on the back.
They meet in the elevator in the afternoon, when Mo Sanbi comes back from a day of shopping and Zhang Yuan from his classes – and Mo Sanbi matter-of-factly drops a plastic bag with a bunch of bananas into Zhang Yuan’s arms. “They’re supposed to be good for your brain,” he says. “You said you had some kinda assignment.”
Zhang Yuan blinks. “Thank you.”
Mo Sanbi shrugs and claps him on the shoulder. “Good luck.”
--
And then Zhang Yuan notices that he’s being slowly avoided. He hasn’t seen Mo Sanbi all week, the man seemingly busy – but he hears him in the apartment sometimes, when he leans against the wall dividing his bedroom from next-door’s living room.
“There’s something at the shop,” Mo Sanbi mutters when Zhang Yuan suggests going for noodles.
So, Zhang Yuan comes to the shop during the day when classes are over. He’s never been there before, but it’s not hard to find at all.
Mo Sanbi sees him before Zhang Yuan notices – crouching below the counter to organize a few things.
Zhang Yuan in his clean white t-shirt and his messenger bag, doesn't fit in the shop, surrounded by paper carriages, rolls of paper money, incense, and funeral decorations. He's a good student, a little too cautious, with a good future and a handsome face, and many, many years ahead of him to live out well.
He looks lost, peering around the dim shop, and startles when Mo Sanbi finally stands up straight from behind the counter where he is counting the bulk packages of gold foil that the supplier had dropped off that morning. "Why'd you come here?" he asks, a little roughly.
Zhang Yuan startles a little but smiles when he sees Mo Sanbi. "I brought lunch," he says, holding up a paper bag, and then putting it on the counter.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Mo Sanbi shrugs a little. "No need… Thank you," he begins, a little awkwardly, but Zhang Yuan frowns.
"San-ge, what are you doing being so polite?"
"It's, uh, not suitable," Mo Sanbi says.
"San-ge… Do you want me to leave?"
Even at this point, he can't bring himself to say, 'yes, I want you to leave.' Instead, he scolds loudly, "Aren't you supposed to be smart or something! What are you doing, chasing a big man like this? Don't you know how many pretty girls like you at your university?! You should think well about your own future, yeah? You tried it a little, now go and fucking play something else, ah! Are you that bored?!"
Zhang Yuan blinks at him with a wronged expression. "San-ge, what's up with you?"
"You figured out what you like and don't like, what are you still doing here?! Go somewhere else!"
Zhang Yuan panics. He suddenly leans forward over the counter and kisses Mo Sanbi before the man can snap anything more, grabbing the sides of his unbuttoned patterned shirt and pulling him in.
His second ever kiss, he puts in everything he'd learned the first time – opening his mouth, tilting his head for a better angle. His eyes are shut, and his eyebrows have drawn together with sincerity.
When he draws back, Mo Sanbi is looking at him with wide eyes, but Zhang Yuan forges bravely on. "San-ge, I really like you. I'm sorry, I was wrong. Can we try again?"
Mo Sanbi rubs his head and sighs loudly. "…What, like I'm gonna say no?" he mutters. “Alright.”
Zhang Yuan smiles shakily at him and nods. “Thank you.”
“The hell are you thanking me for?” Mo Sanbi isn’t very good at pretending to be annoyed.
“Thank you for giving me a chance.”
“If you don’t wanna fuck, then just say it,” Mo Sanbi shrugs, going behind the counter again. “If you run out like that, what am I supposed to think?”
Zhang Yuan’s entire face turns red, and he can’t say anything. Mo Sanbi hides a laugh.
--
Things sort of return to normal, then. Zhang Yuan comes over for meals like usual, helps Wu Xiaowen with her homework like usual, hangs out with Mo Sanbi like usual. Except it shouldn’t be like usual, right? Didn’t they confess properly for the second time and kiss mouths? Shouldn’t there be come kind of romantic sense?
At school, he gets a friend to print out a picture from his phone on good photo paper – the picture of the three of them at the zoo.
First there’s three awkward people – Wu Xiaowen is blinking, Mo Sanbi looks like he swallowed a spoon, and Zhang Yuan is looking off-camera at something. Then there’s Wu Xiaowen making a Kung Fu pose, and Mo Sanbi looking over, amused at Zhang Yuan’s attempt at photogenic-ness. After that, there’s Mo Sanbi grinning helplessly as Zhang Yuan pokes the corners of his mouth and Wu Xiaowen standing on one leg with her arms out. Then there’s the final picture, both Mo Sanbi and Zhang Yuan grinning at the camera, arms linked, their opposite hands each resting on Wu Xiaowen’s shoulders as she grins and shows peace signs with both hands.
That last one, is the one he asks to print out. To keep it safe, he puts it between the pages of his textbook.
He shows it to Mo Sanbi one afternoon. “This is the one from the zoo, remember?”
Mo Sanbi snorts. “‘Course I remember, how bad of a memory you think I have?” He looks at the picture, then gets up, going into his bedroom. “Hold on a sec.” There’s some clattering as he roots around in his closet. When he comes back, he’s victoriously holding a little empty picture frame. “Knew I had one of these laying around somewhere.”
Zhang Yuan’s heart warms.
Mo Sanbi puts the photo in carefully, making sure it’s not crooked, then pauses. “Can’t put this on the wall, they’re too thin for nails…”
Zhang Yuan looks around. “Windowsill?”
“Nah, it’ll fade real quick.” Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his head as he thinks. Then he snaps his fingers and goes into the kitchen. He puts it on top of the fridge and turns back with a proud grin.
Zhang Yuan gives a thumbs up, then bursts out laughing and claps his hands. “Nice, San-ge!”
--
Mo Sanbi scuffs his slipper over the ground and smokes slowly, then crouches down to wait near the lecture building. After about a minute, a bunch of students come out, chattering amongst themselves. A few of them give him strange looks, got most of them don't notice him.
Finally, Zhang Yuan comes out, a young female student at his side. The two are talking about something animatedly, and Zhang Yuan is waving a piece of paper around in his hand as he talks, eyes shining. The girl is smiling back at him, looking at Zhang Yuan in a way Mo Sanbi can immediately recognize. In the midday sunlight, the two students look clear and bright, from a different world. Mo Sanbi finishes his cigarette, then rubs the back of his neck.
What the hell did he come all the way here for? Yuan-zi is having a good time here, in his proper place. The girl is pretty, likes him, and besides, this is exactly what Mo Sanbi had hoped for all along.
He scuffs the cigarette butt into the ground and turns to leave, but Zhang Yuan catches sight of him.
"San-ge!" he exclaims, eyes bright, and jogs over. "What are you doing here?"
Mo Sanbi can't come up with some believable bullshit on the spot, so he just shrugs. He realizes that, ‘I wanted to invite you on a date,’ sounds like the dumbest thing in the world, coming out of his mouth.
"My lectures are over for today, are you busy now? We could go and eat!"
Thankfully, Zhang Yuan is proactive. "Sure." Mo Sanbi shrugs again. The female student comes closer, standing beside Zhang Yuan. "What about your classmate?" he asks in a careless way. "She coming too?"
Zhang Yuan blinks, as if having completely forgotten about the pretty girl his age that was clearly interested in him. Mo Sanbi resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Oh, uh-"
The girl smiles. "No, I still have another lecture," she says. Her look changes when she looks over Mo Sanbi, obviously trying to figure out who he is, and coming up with several unpleasant scenarios. He doesn't mind much, at least most of what she's thinking is true. "I'm Zhang Yuan's classmate. You're Zhang Yuan's older brother?" Her hand rests on Zhang Yuan's arm for a moment.
"Neighbor," Mo Sanbi grunts.
Zhang Yuan's eyes flicker to the girl, then to Mo Sanbi, and he looks a little unhappy.
The atmosphere between them is a little subdued at the noodle place, and they don’t have the feeling of two guys out on a date, instead just two guys hungrily trying to wolf down their noodles and get out of the crowded place.
To fix this, when they’re walking home, Zhang Yuan impulsively takes Mo Sanbi’s hand in his own, without looking at him, just taking it and swinging their linked hands gently as they walk. Mo Sanbi doesn’t pull away, but Zhang Yuan can feel the intensity of his stare on the side of his face.
He smiles to himself and keeps walking.
Mo Sanbi’s hand relaxes in his and gives it a momentary squeeze.
Zhang Yuan’s grin gets wider.
At the apartment, Zhang Yuan finally has to let it go when Mo Sanbi goes to unlock the door. But once they’re inside, "I got- Here, look what I got us," Zhang Yuan says, pulling out two rings from his pocket.
Mo Sanbi's heart almost stops until he notices that they're much, much smaller than finger rings and also have a catch – just a pair of gold-colored mini-hoop earrings.
"One for you and one for me," Zhang Yuan is saying. He grins, showing them off.
Mo Sanbi has the overwhelming urge to kiss him, but he restrains himself as best he can, rubbing the back of his head and beginning to scold him with about half the words slipping into thick dialect, "What, you earn so much money you can spend it like whatever? What're you doing, buying things carelessly? Buy something for yourself, why bother with me?"
Zhang Yuan blinks. "You… Don't like it?"
"Hand it over," Mo Sanbi snaps, snatching one of the little rings from Zhang Yuan's hand and putting it in, carelessly throwing the earring that was in there before down on the table. "You dumb? Of course I like it!"
--
At the grocery store, Zhang Yuan rubs at his forehead with the little towel around his neck and sighs. It’s way too hot. He’s almost done with unloading the truck, but this usually isn’t his job. Finally, Zhang Yuan brings in the last crate of fruit and stacks it inside, turning the sign with the price around to face the entrance. His co-worker taps him on the shoulder. “Can you take over the register for a sec?”
“Sure.”
Register duty is pretty slow, but thankfully much cooler, so Zhang Yuan zones out for a little, until someone raps on the counter with their knuckles, and Zhang Yuan looks up.
“…Hey, Shuai-ge, what time you get off work?” Mo Sanbi leans against the counter with a crooked smile.
Zhang Yuan’s face splits into a wide grin, but he tries to suppress it. “…I still have two hours,” he says, and tries to pretend to play it coy. “What can I do for you, Da-shu? If you’re looking for a good deal, we have a sale on all summer fruit.”
“You little-” Mo Sanbi’s mouth twitches. “…’Da-shu’? What ‘Da-shu’? Say it again, I dare you,” he asks in a low voice, pinching Zhang Yuan’s ear in a mock threat.
It doesn’t hurt at all, but Zhang Yuan cringes slightly, caught between a laugh and jokingly pleading, “Ah, I was wrong, I was wrong! Da-ge! Da-ge! Ge-ge-”
“Alright.” Mo Sanbi lets him go and pats him on the shoulder. “I’ll meet you in two hours then. I’ll show you something nice.”
--
“Zhang Yuan,” his co-worker begins awkwardly, as Zhang Yuan finishes putting away the extra ‘for sale’ signs, “I couldn’t help seeing, earlier…”
Zhang Yuan looks at him. “Ah? What’s wrong?”
“There was this guy, here, earlier… Shaved head, floral shirt…”
Zhang Yuan nods. “Gold chain. Good-looking. Him? Yeah? What about him?”
“Was that guy bothering you?” the co-worker asks in a low voice. “D’you owe money or something? If there’s a real problem, then-”
“He’s my boyfriend,” Zhang Yuan says imperturbably, arranging the watermelons.
The other young man laughs, then slowly trails off as he realizes that Zhang Yuan is not joking. “Oh, my god. Uh-”
--
Mo Sanbi takes Zhang Yuan back to the funeral shop, but tells him to close his eyes before going in. He hits the lights, then tells him he can open his eyes up. Zhang Yuan slowly opens them and takes in the scenery – there are purple, pink, white and yellow flowers everywhere, large bouquets and wreaths all over the place – filling the dingy shop with a pleasant scent and making the atmosphere a little magical.
Zhang Yuan turns slowly around.
Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck. “It’s kinda girly, but I thought it was nice. I’ve only gotta take them over tonight, but I’m keeping them in here for now, before the funeral. …Thought it looked nice. I don’t know what kind of romance games kids play nowadays,” he grumbles. “Uh, anyway, I’ll get you something to eat – we don’t have to go to the same noodle place-”
Zhang Yuan turns to him, places his hands squarely on Mo Sanbi’s shoulders, and leans forward to kiss him quickly. “…Thanks,” he says.
Mo Sanbi gives him a slow, crooked smile, linking his hands loosely behind Zhang Yuan’s waist.
“I like you.” Zhang Yuan quickly takes another kiss. This big guy… Somehow, he’s really, really cute. “I like you so much.”
--
After extensive research and some shopping, Zhang Yuan comes to a solemn decision. On a Wednesday midday, he knocks on Mo Sanbi’s door and as soon as the door opens, “Xiaowen is at school, you don’t have any funerals, my mom is at work, and my lectures are over for the day,” Zhang Yuan says quickly. His face is red, and he swallows.
Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck, at a loss. “…Cool? Come on in?”
Zhang Yuan goes in and sits down on the couch, licking his lips and keeping his back straight nervously. Mo Sanbi gives him a weird look and goes to the fridge.
"I want to sleep with you!" Zhang Yuan blurts out at the same time as, "Uh, d'you want something to drink-" Mo Sanbi begins to ask.
They stare at each other. Mo Sanbi's unlit cigarette drops out of his mouth. Zhang Yuan's entire face and neck are red.
"…Juice, please," Zhang Yuan says in a subdued voice.
Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck, which is a bit red. "Ah, yeah."
He pours a glass of juice for Zhang Yuan, and just a little strong cooking wine for himself. “Okay, come again?” he asks, after downing it.
"It's the logical progression. We like each other, so this kind of thing is good to do. I did some research on how everything works," Zhang Yuan tells him seriously. "I know last time, you wanted to, but I panicked and left. I shouldn't've gone like that, and I made you misunderstand a lot of things. Actually, I… I really want to be with you."
"Uh, that's great," Mo Sanbi says awkwardly, trying to rearrange the contents of the fridge to avoid looking at Zhang Yuan. He's been putting the same bottle of soy sauce from the top shelf to the bottom shelf three times already.
He almost drops the bottle when Zhang Yuan comes up behind him and suddenly hugs him, saying quietly next to his ear, "I really do want to. I'm just afraid… I'll be bad at it."
Mo Sanbi's entire brain goes completely blank for two full seconds. Then he says hoarsely, "…Nah, you'll be fine." He slowly shuts the fridge.
--
On the couch again, Mo Sanbi can't help feeling a little deja-vu, but this time, it's Zhang Yuan who takes the initiative to kiss him, clambering over to straddle his legs and sit in his lap, facing him. Zhang Yuan kisses him again, holding Mo Sanbi's face between his hands, with his thumbs gently tracing the hollows under his cheekbones.
Zhang Yuan's lips are open gently, and he hasn't even used his tongue, but the press of his mouth is warm and insistent, and his eyes are tightly shut. Mo Sanbi allows himself to be kissed like this for a little while, feeling Zhang Yuan's pure affection and clumsy sincerity, and unable to keep himself from feeling warmed by it.
When Zhang Yuan draws back, opening his eyes, he meets Mo Sanbi's warm, open eyes and traces the curve of a rare, simple smile with his fingertips. "San-ge…" he whispers.
"I'm right here."
Zhang Yuan grins. He licks his lips, and it's likely because he's a little nervous, but it looks downright indecent – and even though Mo Sanbi knows he should be careful and let up because it's his first time, he can't help feeling a little incensed.
Mo Sanbi reaches up and grabs the back of Zhang Yuan's head to bring him down into a kiss, pushing his other hand under Zhang Yuan's t-shirt. He runs his palm over Zhang Yuan's fluttering stomach, up his ribs, over his chest, feeling warm skin against rough but gently touching hands. Zhang Yuan arches closer to him, tilting his head a little to deepen the kiss. Mo Sanbi licks into his mouth as Zhang Yuan's hands grip at his shoulders.
Zhang Yuan is already hard, and he desperately runs his hands up and down over Mo Sanbi's shoulders and under the sleeves of his tank top to touch his chest. There’s warm skin and hard muscle moving under his palms, and he can feel Mo Sanbi’s rising heartbeat.
“Ah- San-ge…” Zhang Yuan fumbles at the waistband Mo Sanbi’s shorts weakly.
"…We're not gonna fuck on the couch," Mo Sanbi grunts, batting his hands away, then hooks his hands under Zhang Yuan's skinny thighs and stands up, with a small sound of effort, lifting him off the couch.
Zhang Yuan yelps and curls his arms and legs around Mo Sanbi. "San-ge?"
Mo Sanbi grins crookedly, hoists him up and backs him up against the bedroom doorway, carrying him though, and dumping him on the bed with a creak of bedsprings. Zhang Yuan bounces a little, and then bursts out laughing.
“We can do it here,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Right.” Zhang Yuan sits up and reaches into the pocket of his shorts. He pulls out a huge handful of condoms. He reaches into the other pocket and pulls out another. “Uh, I-”
Mo Sanbi stares, then bursts out laughing. “You- This guy prepares really well, huh.”
Zhang Yuan roots around in his back pocket and pulls out several packets of lubricant. At this point, his face is bright red. “Uh…”
Mo Sanbi tackles him on the bed, patting his legs down and slipping his hands into the pockets of his shorts, still laughing quietly. “Anything else in there?”
He palms at Zhang Yuan’s cock through his shorts and Zhang Yuan groans, arching up to kiss him again. “Next time you buy it,” Zhang Yuan pants, moving to kiss the side of Mo Sanbi’s neck. “I thought I was gonna die of embarrassment.”
“Alright, alright.” Mo Sanbi draws back to pull his tank top over his head and throws it over his shoulder, onto the floor.
Zhang Yuan quickly sits up and starts shucking his clothes off at record speed – until he’s just in his boxers, sporting an obvious erection. Mo Sanbi rubs his hip thoughtfully as he gives him a slow kiss on the mouth, then swallows a gasp as Zhang Yuan reaches forward to rub a hand down between his legs.
"Just… Bend over."
It turns out Zhang Yuan is pretty obedient, bending over the bed with his eyes tightly shut and his waist bent up instead of down. Mo Sanbi pats his side and adjusts his position, so it'll be more comfortable, nudging his knee at the backs of Zhang Yuan's knees to get him to spread his legs more. He smooths a heavy hand down Zhang Yuan's spine to bend it into a better curve, to relax him a little as well, then pulls his boxers down off his butt.
Zhang Yuan bites his lip but relaxes when Mo Sanbi gives him a peck between his shoulder blades before tearing the lube packet open and smearing it between his cheeks and over his hole with rough but gentle fingers. It's cold, and he shivers slightly, both intensely embarrassed and filled with anticipation. Mo Sanbi's fingertip nudges at his hole and he sucks in a breath as it breaches, swallowing thickly as he feels the intrusion.
"Xiao-Yuan," Mo Sanbi's voice is by his ear, "Does it hurt?"
"N-no… Just- just weird."
Another kiss is placed on the vertebrae of his back, and another slick finger probes for entry. This one is a little more uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt yet – and when Mo Sanbi twists his fingers, Zhang Yuan's legs shake at the sudden spike of pleasure that hits him. "…Ah!"
"You good?"
"Fine," Zhang Yuan breathes, but whimpers when a third finger is pushed in. That one stretches a little painfully, but he gets used to it after a while. "I… I think it's fine now, San-ge, you can…" he trails off, unable to say the crude words.
"Sure, hold on a sec." Mo Sanbi's voice is hoarse, like he's trying hard to restrain himself. He gives another kiss to the middle of Zhang Yuan's back, and Zhang Yuan shivers and clenches around nothing when he pulls his fingers out. There’s some ripping sounds and he chucks the foil package past Zhang Yuan’s field of vision, and then he's nudging at Zhang Yuan's hole as he's lining himself up.
Zhang Yuan's eyes widen in shock, and he clutches at the bedsheets when the tip is pushed in. He breathes harshly through his nose and tries to relax his waist, but when Mo Sanbi pushes in further, he bites his own lip hard, again.
"Hurts?" Mo Sanbi's voice is extremely strained, and his grip on Zhang Yuan's hips is very tight.
Zhang Yuan puts on bravado. "Nnh- I'm fine… How big is that thing?" he demands, panting. "Just hurry up and put it in already…"
Mo Sanbi obeys, and finally pushes all the way in, but Zhang Yuan's legs give out and he makes a helpless sound of mixed pleasure and discomfort. Mo Sanbi holds him up by the hips, not moving too much until Zhang Yuan gets accustomed.
It's so difficult not to move – Zhang Yuan is clenching tightly around him, hot and slick – Mo Sanbi also has to gasp for air, pressing his forehead between Zhang Yuan's shoulder blades. "…Hurts?"
This time, Zhang Yuan is too overwhelmed to pretend to be brave. "It's weird… It hurts, but…" He moans softly. "You… Start moving…"
Mo Sanbi starts off slow, gently rocking into Zhang Yuan's thin, shaking body, smoothing his hands down his sides and back, laying a kiss or two on his shoulders. With every moment, a breathless little gasp leaves Zhang Yuan's lips, and his forehead shines with sweat. It's only when Mo Sanbi changes the angle slightly that Zhang Yuan lets out a louder cry, and he knows the right place has been hit.
When he thrusts in again, he's more decisive, and Zhang Yuan bites down on his own forearm to quiet the little cries he makes with every push into his shaking body. Mo Sanbi likes those sounds, and Zhang Yuan biting his arm looks painful, so he wraps an arm around the young man's front and pulls him up slightly. "…Don't bite it."
"A-ah-"
Mo Sanbi rubs his thumb over the teeth marks in Zhang Yuan’s arm as if to smooth them out, mouthing at the back of Zhang Yuan’s neck. “Is it good?”
Zhang Yuan makes a sound that could’ve been agreement, and grabs at the sheets, waist arching. Feeling himself getting close, Mo Sanbi reaches under and strokes Zhang Yuan’s cock, making the young man moan out loudly, overwhelmed.
In a few minutes, he’s coming in Mo Sanbi’s hand, shaking, and clenching with a cry. Mo Sanbi pushes into his shaking body a few times, and then he’s curling over Zhang Yuan’s body and coming too, forehead pressed to his shoulder.
--
They untangle and get into the shower, the two of them barely fitting under the cold spray, but Zhang Yuan swears that it’s more efficient. They share a few slow kisses in the shower, and then get out once they’ve washed off – Mo Sanbi takes a towel and dries off Zhang Yuan’s hair as Zhang Yuan sits on the bed in a pair of Mo Sanbi’s shorts.
He’s still a bit shaky, and rubs his waist with a complicated expression, so Mo Sanbi tells him to stay in bed. “Sorry. Was it too rough?”
Zhang Yuan is red. “No, it was great-”
His ego stroked, Mo Sanbi brings Zhang Yuan a glass of juice and an apple, then gives him a quick kiss and goes off to make dinner. “Uh, when Xiaowen gets home, you-”
Zhang Yuan’s eyes widen. “Oh, yeah, I should leave-”
“…Have dinner with us-”
“Oh-”
“You wanna go?”
Zhang Yuan smiles slowly. “No.”
--
They eat dinner as a family, almost like they’re completely used to it – Wu Xiaowen chatters excitedly about school stuff, Zhang Yuan relates anecdotes from the grocery store, and Mo Sanbi puts extra on both of their plates, occasionally making a comment.
When Wu Xiaowen finishes her homework, takes a bath, and goes to bed, Mo Sanbi and Zhang Yuan remain on the couch – Mo Sanbi with his head in Zhang Yuan’s lap reads a magazine as Zhang Yuan scrolls on his phone.
“Can I stay here tonight? Just to sleep.” Zhang Yuan rubs the back of his neck, not looking down. “I just… We did it in the middle of the day, but I… I want to wake up next to you.”
How can Mo Sanbi say no to that?
In his small, rickety bed, the two men are tangled together pretty closely, the blanket just barely over their lower legs because it’s too hot. Zhang Yuan falls asleep first, snoring slightly, and Mo Sanbi stays awake for a little while longer, resting his chin on top of Zhang Yuan’s head, with Zhang Yuan’s arms around his middle.
There’s something almost feral inside him at moments like these – something instinctual – this one’s mine, he’s so warm, I’ll kill anyone who hurts him. In terms of affection, he knows he’s not the best at expressing it – he’d always thought he wasn’t really built for relationships, deciding he was too cool for it when he was younger, and then after getting out of jail, it was never a priority. And who’d want him for too long, anyway?
He falls asleep slowly, matching his breathing to that of Zhang Yuan.
--
Zhang Yuan's phone alarm goes off at seven in the morning. Zhang Yuan sits up, hair messy and eyes sleepy as he stretches, the pale skin of his upper body striped with the sunlight coming through the blinds.
Mo Sanbi groans unappreciatively, eyes still closed as he tries to encircle Zhang Yuan with his arms again, muttering something.
"What?"
"…Said…fuckin'…early…" Mo Sanbi sighs, eyes still closed.
"My class isn't until ten. We can stay in for a little longer, I guess…"
Mo Sanbi says something else in dialect, and buries his spiky head in the pillows, curling his arms around Zhang Yuan's waist. Apparently, not only is it too early to even think about opening his eyes, it's also way too early for Standard.
--
Zhang Yuan, like any good student, studies harder, applies himself in the practical area, and occasionally shows a surprising initiative. In the bedroom, Mo Sanbi is almost constantly surprised at him – the contrast between awkward first-timer attitude who also happens to be an enthusiastic acquirer of skills.
"I just wanted to try something new," Zhang Yuan says, rubbing his nose awkwardly and looking away. "Just sit down on the bed, I'll… Do the rest."
Mo Sanbi shrugs and sits down.
Zhang Yuan immediately climbs into his lap and kisses him, licks against his tongue, and rubs his hands over Mo Sanbi’s chest. Mo Sanbi puts his hands on Zhang Yuan’s waist and kisses back with matched enthusiasm, gasping slightly when Zhang Yuan begins to slowly grind down. Quickly, he gets very hard, and Zhang Yuan keeps kissing him, then pulls his bottom lip with his teeth and draws back.
“Stay there,” he says.
“Sure.”
Much more quickly than expected, Zhang Yuan sinks to his knees, pulls the front of Mo Sanbi's shorts and boxers down just enough to pull his cock out, and takes it in his mouth. Mo Sanbi clenches his teeth and stifles an embarrassing sound, thighs tensing and hands curling into fists in the bedsheets.
"You-"
Zhang Yuan takes him even deeper, looking up with slightly teary eyes when the back of his throat is hit. His lips are stretched, wet, red, and swollen slightly.
"Xiao-Yuan-" Mo Sanbi manages to gasp out, before Zhang Yuan's cheeks hollow and he sucks, beginning to move back and forth a little, helping with his hand to where his mouth can't reach. Zhang Yuan pushes his other shaking hand into his own shorts.
Mo Sanbi looks down at him with half-closed eyes, panting slightly as Zhang Yuan works. When Zhang Yuan groans, stroking himself the sound vibrates through both of them, and Mo Sanbi makes a choked sound from both the physical stimulation, and the psychological stimulation of watching Zhang Yuan like this.
He’s getting way too close, way too fast.
Mo Sanbi nudges Zhang Yuan’s shoulder with his hand, then when Zhang Yuan pulls off, a question on his swollen lips, Mo Sanbi pulls him up onto the bed, yanks his shorts down and fucks his thighs, his hand between them, until they both come quickly and messily.
They fall back onto the bed, both panting and lay that way for a while, sweat cooling on their bodies. Mo Sanbi catches his breath. "What was that? I mean, how did you…?"
"I… Practiced. With a cucumber."
Mo Sanbi snorts and tries to hold in his laughter as best he can. It's overwhelmingly endearing, the image of Zhang Yuan diligently studying the proper technique with a large vegetable in his mouth. It's hot, it's adorable, but it's also really hilarious.
"Don't laugh!"
"I'm not laughing, I'm not laughing. You're gonna kill me," Mo Sanbi sighs. "You're gonna give me a heart attack, and then what are we gonna do?"
"I thought… Wait, did I do it wrong?"
"You did it right, you did it right," Mo Sanbi mutters reassuringly, patting his flank. "You seriously tried to suck my soul out through my di-"
Zhang Yuan quickly reaches over and covers his mouth. His face and neck are bright red. "San-ge…" he complains in a low voice.
Mo Sanbi blinks at him with a questionable degree of innocence and kisses Zhang Yuan's palm. Zhang Yuan shivers a little and nips at his ear, sliding a hand up from his stomach, over his chest, up to cup his jaw.
"San-ge…" His tone is wheedling.
Mo Sanbi turns to stare at his rising dick. "Already? Didn't you just-"
Zhang Yuan kisses Mo Sanbi's jawline, hooking a leg over his legs. "That was like, five whole minutes ago," Zhang Yuan off-hand complains, idle fingertips running over Mo Sanbi's lips and rubbing his mustache.
"…Fuck," Mo Sanbi cusses quietly to himself, but indulgently drags Zhang Yuan closer to give him a long, slow, deep kiss on the mouth, one hand firmly on his ass. His fingers press into the softer flesh there, and Zhang Yuan makes a soft sound against his mouth and grinds against Mo Sanbi’s thigh.
Five whole minutes! The stamina of college students is really to be feared.
--
On a Tuesday, taking the trash out, Mo Sanbi runs into Yang Xiuxian again.
Yang Xiuxian is dragging out a huge canvas from his room, and when he meets gazes with Mo Sanbi, he grins, licking his lips. “Hello there.”
Mo Sanbi grunts something like a greeting and ignores him.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I won’t make any moves on you anymore,” Yang Xiuxian says, laughing. “Believe me, there’s nobody on this floor that doesn’t know you’re getting laid regularly, and who knows better than me?” Yang Xiuxian leans a little closer. In a lower voice, he says, “Your bedroom and my living room share a wall.”
Mo Sanbi freezes.
Yang Xiuxian grins. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for you, but you guys are loud. You might want to move your bed away from the wall. I can hear… A lot. …Unless you’re into that. I’m up for anything, really. From what I can hear, I’m really impressed.”
“…Uh, no thanks,” Mo Sanbi finally says.
--
“San-ge, what are you doing?”
Mo Sanbi looks up. “Moving the bed away from the wall,” he says.
“Why?”
“Uh… The neighbor… Well…” Mo Sanbi rubs the back of his neck. “Basically, Yang Xiuxian can hear us doing it.”
Zhang Yuan covers his face with both hands and crouches directly down. “Oh my god…”
--
Mo Sanbi waits outside the lecture hall, leaning against the wall and glaring at the 'no smoking' sign that seemed to be recently set up. Soon enough, students begin to spill out of the building, and he looks through the crowd to find his good student.
Zhang Yuan is coming out with that same female classmate of his, and Mo Sanbi subconsciously grinds his teeth when he sees her smile at him and swat playfully at the young man's arm. On one hand, it's a universally acknowledged truth that Zhang Yuan is a handsome young guy – a real chick magnet, and Mo Sanbi seriously lucked out. On the other hand, Mo Sanbi, a big man, is this close to getting into a fight with a young girl.
Zhang Yuan catches sight of him and grins, jogging over. "San-ge! You didn't have to wait; I would've come over."
"The ceremony finished up before midday. Seemed like they just wanted it over with. …I figured I'd come out and see you. We gotta do some shopping anyway. You texted me the list, but I left my phone at home."
"Alright!" Zhang Yuan holds up an envelope. "San-ge, sorry, I really have to drop my assignment off at the student center, and then I'll quickly come back…"
"I'll wait here."
"I'll be quick!" Zhang Yuan calls over his shoulder, still grinning that wide, sunny grin that makes something in Mo Sanbi's chest feel a little lighter. He rubs the back of his head as he looks after the energetic silhouette of the young man bounding across the campus. He rubs his chin as he can't help smiling to himself, and then almost jumps when he accidentally makes eye contact with the female classmate, who, apparently, hadn't disappeared.
"Ah, you're Zhang Yuan's neighbor, right? Shu-shu, hello." She smiles sweetly. Her eyes put him off, though – she is definitely not blinking enough.
Mo Sanbi grunts noncommittally and stuffs his hands in his pockets.
"You really look after him a lot," the girl continues, "Must be busy."
"…'S fine."
"I made too much lunch today," the girl laughs, "So I was hoping to share it more. I guess Shu-shu doesn't have to look after him today, right?"
"Hah?" Mo Sanbi blinks at her, and scratches in his ear with his pinky. He didn't hear wrong, did he?
"Well, he doesn't have a girlfriend, right?"
"…You're right. No girlfriend."
"Oh, really!"
Mo Sanbi snorts, looking down at her with an evil smirk. "He's got a boyfriend, though."
"R-really?" the girl seems shocked. "Who?"
Mo Sanbi's smile widens, and he pokes himself in the chest with his thumb a few times. "This guy right here.”
The girl looks shocked.
"What? Still wanna look after him? You wanna play, little girl? Still calling me 'Shu-shu'? Ah?"
Zhang Yuan jogs up, smiling brightly. "I dropped it off, we can go now." He smiles at his classmate. "See you later!"
The girl avoids his eyes, says, “See you!” and beats a strategic retreat.
Mo Sanbi thinks vaguely that he should feel bad for bullying a little girl like this, but then Zhang Yuan looks at him and he forgets wherever he was thinking about before.
"What did you say to her?"
"…Nothing much."
“Really?”
“She asked if you were single,” Mo Sanbi mutters. “I told her you weren’t.”
Zhang Yuan laughs.