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I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

Summary:

Five times Marcus Kane almost told Abby Griffin he loved her, and one time he actually did.

Notes:

This started as a tiny oneshot about their fall to earth and then snowballed into this mess. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Special thanks to Allie (daylightfalls) for writing the second (and arguably most beautiful) section. To Brittany for being not only the greatest beta, but the best motivator. And to Isa, S, and Nikki for making me finish.

Title and section headings from the song I Found by Amber Run.

Work Text:

i. i'll use you as a warning sign:

Jake throws his head back, laughing as the bottle Thelonius had sent spinning lands on him. It's his birthday, and he’s dragged them all out of bed at 1 am to celebrate after his shift had ended.  Being Jake, he had also managed to bring an entire bottle of the moonshine he always seems to be able to get his hands on. 

It'd been Abby's idea to go to the observation deck, though, smiling brightly as she'd led them down twisting corridors.  The room is dark, lit by a few dim panels low on the wall to allow for a clear view of the stars through the window that takes up most of the far wall.

Now, it’s 3 in the morning, and they’re sipping at the last of Jake's moonshine while spinning the bottle around their small circle of five, playing an old game that had somehow survived 70 odd years after the apocalypse. 

"This ought to be good." Diana laughs from her place between Marcus and Thelonius, looking across the circle at Jake. Thelonius, however, is looking over Jake to Abby.

"This alright with you?" He asks. Abby just giggles and nods her approval. 

Jake grabs Thelonius' shirt collar and pulls him roughly to him, capturing his lips in a kiss so ridiculously dramatic it's almost comical. Diana whistles as Thelonius places his hands on Jake's legs to steady himself.  

Next to Marcus, Abby giggles, closing her eyes as she buries her face in his shoulder, shaking with laughter.  Thelonius rolls his eyes as he pulls back from Jake, who looks particularly pleased with himself.  

"You can look now, they've stopped." He whispers to her, though he'd be more than alright if she kept herself tucked against him for the rest of the night. 

Diana leans into the circle and sends the bottle spinning violently around. Abby's giggles come to a halt; her eyes widen as the bottle stops in front of her. Diana, now on all fours, encourages Abby to do the same, meeting her in the middle of the circle. 

Diana brushes her lips against Abby's in a surprisingly gentle kiss, and Marcus feels himself blushing as he watches Abby respond to the touch. 

"See, I can play nice, too." Diana says, haughtily, as she retakes her seat. She’s left Abby stunned in the middle of the circle.  Marcus coughs as he leans forward to turn the bottle himself, his eyes still on Abby as she sits back down beside him, resting her hand on Jake's leg. 

Slowly, the bottle turns until it’s pointing right at her, and his heart beats just a little bit harder against his chest. She giggles as he turns sheepishly towards her, meeting eyes that shine brighter than the stars.  

 "I guess it's us now." 

 She giggles again, and he can't decide if it's the cutest thing he's ever heard, or if the way his heart beats faster every time she does it actually terrifies him. 

 "Come on, hotshot, show me what you can do."

He moves closer to her, his fingers tucking errant strands of her hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek. The look on her face is soft, and her teasing smile drives him to close his eyes and lean in to brush his lips against hers. When he kisses her, everything else fades away--Jake's laughter, Diana's commentary, he can't hear any of it as her lips move slowly in response to the gentle pressure of his. 

Her hand moves to his jaw and something inside him breaks. He pulls her against him with a hand on her hip, the fingers of his other tangling in her hair. He tugs at her bottom lip with his teeth and the sound she makes causes his hands to tighten on her body. She parts her lips farther, slips her tongue into his mouth, rakes her fingers through his hair--

And suddenly, it's over as quickly as it began. He pulls back and leans his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, "I…" he trails off, trying to catch his breath. I love you. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be," is her whispered response, and the look she gives him makes him wish her boyfriend wasn't sitting just a few feet away. 

"You trying to make a move on my girl, Kane?" Jake says, breaking the tension, but his tone is light and he's smiling. 

"Just the roll of the bottle, man." When he chances a look back at Abby, she's running her fingers across her lips. 

They stay for another hour, playing a few more rounds and laughing late into the night in the way that friends do when they're young and their responsibilities are few.

The next day, he tries to find her, her words haunting him, the feel of her lips branded into his memory. 

Somehow, she's nowhere to be found, managing to avoid him for days. When he finally catches her again, her tone is strained and she's quiet. 

The next day, Jake tells him they're engaged and his world feels like it’s ending. He congratulates them with hollow words and locks his feelings inside. He tells himself she'll be happy, that things are better this way. 

Eventually, the pain he feels when he sees her turns to a dull ache that he can ignore, and he can pretend he isn't in love with someone who'll never love him back.  

ii. if you talk enough sense you'll lose your mind:

In an hour, she becomes Abigail Griffin.

He wasn’t sure how he ended up being best man to the man who was marrying the woman he’s loved for god knows how long, but in an hour, he’ll watch her walk down the aisle while he stands with them.

His feet carry him to her door. He hesitates, trying to gather every ounce of courage he has in him, and then knocks.

He won’t ever forgive himself if he doesn’t tell her.

“Who is it?” her voice comes from the other side of the door.

“It’s me, Abby,” he says. “Marcus.”

He’s greeted with a grin when she pulls the door open and allows him in. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

There’s no one else there, which he hadn’t expected. There’s a makeshift vanity, with a lamp and a tiny mirror leaning up against the wall. Scattered all over the desk is an array of makeup that had been loaned to her for today.

“I just wanted to come by before the wedding, say hello.”

“Hi,” she says, smiling.

“Hi,” he returns, grinning like an idiot.

“I’m glad you came by today. It’s good to see you, Marcus,” she says, pulling him into a hug. “I haven’t seen you much lately.” She rests her chin on his shoulder, squeezing him a little before letting go.

He shrugs it off. “Been busy,” he offers.

She nods, knowing that’s not entirely true but not wanting to press him about it. “Well, I hope when things settle down, you’ll come by more often.”

“I will,” he says.

“Good. We miss you.” Her use of the word “we” reminds him of why he’s there.

“I also came by because I had something I wanted to tell you.” He takes a deep breath, looking everywhere but directly into her eyes. “Abby...” he starts.

 

                                                            Say it. Tell her.

                                     (Don’t ruin her wedding day.)

                                                            She needs to know.

                                     (You missed your chance. Don’t fuck this up for her.)

                                                            You need her.

                                     (You’ll never be good enough for her.)

                                                            You can’t go on pretending. It’s only going to get worse  when they’re married.

                                     (It’s best she never knows. Jake will treat her better than you ever could.)

                                                            He doesn’t love her like you could.

                                     (But he’ll never hurt her like you could.)

                                                            She is your sun and your moon, your stars and your sky. She is the sunset

                                                            you’ve never seen; the crisp air you’ve never felt; the flowers you’ve never

                                                            smelled; the ocean you’ve never set foot in.

 

                                                            And you’re about to lose her.

                                     (Loving her means letting her go.) 

 

Her expression grows worried in his silence, so he finally speaks. “Jake is a good man. You found a good one. He will love you like you deserve to be loved.” He’s disappointed in himself, but he knows it’s for the better.

Her expression softens, and her hand comes up to rest on his arm. “Thank you, Marcus. It means the world to both of us that you agreed to be part of it. I hope you know how much you mean to us.”

Us. They’re a unit now. He no longer gets Abby without Jake, Jake without Abby.

He nods, and they embrace. He holds her tight, trying to commit every part of her body to memory in case he never gets to be this close to her again. He drops a kiss to her cheek when he pulls away.

“One more thing before I go,” he says, reaching into his jacket. Her eyes light up when he pulls a white orchid from it, and holds it out to her. “I thought this would look beautiful on you.”

She reaches out and touches it, delicately running her fingers along its petals. “It’s beautiful,” she murmurs. “How the hell did you get this?”

He winks. “I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you.” She rolls her eyes at him.

“Hold on,” she says, and she wanders over to the desk and picks up something off of it. When she returns, she holds out a bobby pin to him. “Will you put it in for me?”

He nods. She moves toward him and he takes the pin. He tucks the orchid into a strand of hair behind her ear, and pins it into place. As he pulls away, he lets his fingers drift down her braid; her eyes follow his fingers down.

“You look beautiful, Abby.”

She fights back the tears that are starting to form, and quietly thanks him.

“I’ll see you out there,” he says.

“See you out there,” she repeats, and squeezes his hand. He walks out, turning one last time to look at her before he shuts the door behind him.

iii. i'll use you as a focal point:

It's a mutiny. His mother is dead. He's freezing to death. And he has to get to Abby. He has to tell her something, something important, something he's tried not to think about for 20 years. 

When Jaha finds him, he tells him about the mutiny; together, they march toward the Exodus ship.  For the second time that day, he prays to a God he hasn't spoken to in years, asking for Abby Griffin to be anywhere but where he's headed. 

He asks a young man that he recognizes from their earlier sweep of the ship if he knows anything about Doctor Griffin's whereabouts, but the boy can't give him the answer he's looking for. When they reach the launch bay, the doors are already closed.  

Attempting to push thoughts of Abby to the back of his mind, he immediately sets to work with the boy trying to pry the doors open. But it's impossible to think about anything other than getting to her. He looks up when Jaha says her name and suddenly she's right there, on the wrong side of the door he's trying his damnedest to open. 

His heart pounds in his ears, he redoubles his efforts to pry the doors apart, his eyes tracking her the entire time.  When she moves to release the doors, they shock her hard enough to knock her out, and when she falls to the ground he swears his heart stops.

When they carry her away, he feels empty. 

His heartbeat is back in his ears, sounding strangely like her name and drowning out the conversation between Jaha and Diana as the doors inch apart. If not for the boy standing next to him, he could slide between them, he could go after her, but something keeps him where he stands. A jolt shakes them back from the door, and as he watches, the boy next to him climbs through the gap they've made and knocks the jack out of the door. He feels like he's suffocating. 

He drags Jaha out of the airlock with him and they take off in different directions; they have jobs to do. He's halfway down a corridor when the power goes out and the Ark tosses him off his feet. His last thoughts as the world goes dark run across his brain in quick succession: he didn't tell her, Abby's gone, and it's all his fault. 

iv. so i don't lose sight of what i want:

He stumbles as the ark shakes violently beneath his feet. He pauses, confused as he hears Jaha over comms; moments ago he was walking to his death, to salvation, and now he's free falling to a home he'd never thought he'd see. 

Marcus turns quickly as they begin their descent, his eyes locking with Abby's across the station. He makes his way back to his assigned spot, nearly falling in his haste. When he reaches her, he wordlessly reclaims his place by her side. She reaches across him for his makeshift safety harness, hits his arm. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but Abby beats him to it: "Don't. Do not do that to me again." 

He doesn't respond. Instead, he looks at her as she focuses on securing his harness with the same protective determination with which she had thrown her arm across him earlier.  Once she's certain his harness is fastened, she leans back, resting her hand on his knee, as if she's afraid that if she stops touching him he'll, disappear. 

As the ark lets out a terrible groan, he covers her hand with his uninjured one. He closes his eyes, trying to tune out everything except her presence next to him, solid and comforting. 

"I'm coming, Clarke," Abby whispers. 

The ark enters the atmosphere and everything begins happening very quickly: the temperature seems to increase every few seconds as the station trembles and quakes under the sheer force of the entry. Marcus feels Abby’s fingers tighten on his knee and he squeezes her hand in response. 

Though they worked hard to insulate the station, the violence of their descent causes parts to come loose here and there, and things begin falling apart. They move almost in unison, turning inward toward each other; Marcus placing one arm around her shoulders and the other in her hair. Abby pulls his head down next to hers, shielding him as best she can. 

Her face is only inches away when he looks towards her, his eyes searching for hers in the chaos. When he finds her looking back at him, he remembers a promise, one he's kept to himself for far longer than he's willing to admit, one that's always lurking in the back of his mind. 

"Abby," he pauses. He doesn't know if they'll survive this--it’s a last resort at best, and he doesn't want to die without her knowing. I love you, I've always loved you.  He swallows his nerves, realizing if he doesn't tell her now, he may never get the chance. 

"Abby, there's something I've been meaning to--" he stops again; her brow furrows in confusion and he's not sure she can hear him clearly. 

He moves then, just slightly, so his lips are by her ear, so he's sure she won't miss what he has to say. 

"Abby, there's something I have to tell you before we-" 

"We are not going to die today," she interrupts him, almost angrily. "Look at me, Marcus." 

She moves her head slightly backward, moving one of her hands from his hair to rest against his cheek. 

"We're going to Earth, and we're going to make it there in one piece, alright? So whatever you've got to say, you say it on Earth." 

"Abby," he knows there’s desperation on his face.

"Promise me, Marcus."

He looks at her, pleading. More pieces of the station fall down around them. Her face mirrors his own. 

"I--" he needs her to know. "I promise, Abby."

"Good, now shut up." He begins to laugh, but then the moment's gone--a piece of something flies over his shoulder, connecting heavily with Abby's forehead. 

"Abby!" He moves both his hands to her face, but she's already unconscious, her head bleeding. He checks the wound, frantic but focused. It's superficial, but it was enough to knock her out for the time being. Marcus moves her as best he can in her safety restraint, so that he can cradle her head in his lap. 

"You're gonna be fine, Abby," he whispers. "Everything's going to be fine." He brushes her hair back from her face and prays to whoever will listen that he's right. 

***

Her head is pounding when she comes to, but the world has stopped quaking around her and she feels overwhelmingly safe. She quickly attributes that feeling to the fact that Marcus Kane has himself wrapped around her. 

"We did it, Abby. We made it to Earth." He smiles, almost reverently at her as she sits up. She lets out a breath of relief she didn't realize she'd been holding and smiles brightly back at him. 

From there everything is thrown into fast-forward as the scene around them comes back into view. Abby moves to check on the other passengers of their station, and after a moment, Marcus moves to do the same. After all, these are their people now. 

After she's certain everyone is in relatively good condition--or at least in good hands--Abby makes contact with Jaha, letting him know they've arrived. She begins to make her way up the ladder to finally see it, to finally set foot on Earth. Marcus watches her go and gives her a moment before following. So, maybe he doesn't tell her today, but he intends to keep his promise. He'll tell her he loves her, on Earth. 

v. but i missed you more than i thought i would:

When he leaves to attempt a peaceful alliance with the grounders and find the missing kids, for the first time in his life, he isn't sure when he'll see Abby again.  He's known her almost all his life, certainly as long as he can remember. He's always been in constant orbit of Abby Griffin.

On the Ark, it was easy to know when he'd run into her. As children, he'd see her at school, first the pretty girl with the braid, then as his friend Abby, the smartest girl in class. Later, he'd see her working, their lives overlapping when his shifts with the guard just happened to position him outside medical while she healed the people inside. Then, as councilors, in meetings and closed quarters discussing everything under the sun, eyes meeting across the lighted table often in agreement and friendship. Until everything went to hell, until he couldn't meet her eyes anymore, afraid of the hurt he'd see, the hurt he was responsible for. 

Even then, he knew he'd be able to find his way back to her. 

Something changed after he lost his mother, after he found Abby, safe and alive in the wake of the Exodus disaster. Something shifted, in both of them, something brought her back to him, and he promised himself he wouldn't let things between them fall apart again. 

So when his hand is forced a few weeks later, his eyes never leaving hers as her screams echo in his ears, he does the only thing he can to make it up to her: he leaves. 

He leaves with trust in his eyes, and a promise on his lips. 

For eleven agonizing days, he doesn't think he'll ever see her again. Another promise broken. Then, after days of uncertainty and self-loathing, he's delivered back to their people, back to her. 

The night before he's allowed to return is easily one of the longest of his life. He doesn't sleep, constantly resisting the urge to find her immediately. He knows his captors will do him no harm him at this point, but being so close and yet so far from the one thing that never left his mind for eleven days is akin to torture. 

When they take the bag off his head and let him walk out of the woods the next morning, she's the first thing he sees and relief floods his system. 

"Marcus," her own relief evident in the way she breathes his name. 

"Chancellor," is all he manages to choke out in response. 

He walks up to her, and the weight of the past eleven days falls away from them both. 

"I was afraid that I wouldn't see you again." She voices the one thought that's haunted him every day since he left, and he tells her as much. 

"I had those fears myself." 

It's a near thing, but somehow he resists pulling her into his arms right there in front of everyone. Instead, he focuses his attention on the crowd behind her and moves them back into the camp with talk of time and plans. 

As they meet with Jaha, Marcus decides power looks good on Abby. She's always been protective of their people, and watching her try yet again to keep everyone alive is a sight to behold. When the meeting is over, tentative plans are in place, and Jaha is taken back to his cell, Marcus' resistance finally crumbles. As Abby moves to follow the guards escorting Jaha out of the room, he reaches out, his fingers wrapping gently around her wrist, making her pause and turn back to him. 

Then, without a second thought, he wordlessly wraps his arms around her. She hesitates, but only for a moment, quickly moving both arms around his shoulders as he lifts her slightly against him, bringing her impossibly closer. 

He tucks his face into her neck as he sets her down again, breathing her in, and she rests her cheek against his, her eyes closed, her mouth shaped into a soft smile. 

"I missed you," he whispers into her hair, still clinging to her. A smaller truth, than the one that waits constantly in the back of his throat, but it's the one that falls from his lips.

Abby pulls back slightly then, one hand moving to cup his cheek and the other resting on his arm,  "I missed you too, Marcus."

She smiles at him and he's not sure, but he thinks he sees her eyes glisten slightly before she looks away.  Abby inhales sharply as she pulls back, adjusting the hemline of her shirt as she prepares to leave. 

"Meet me in medical in about an hour, I want to do a physical and I'm sure that cut on your arm needs attention." 

She doesn't look back at him as she leaves the station. 

i. talk some sense to me:

It's nearly twilight when they finally find her. She’s in a clearing not too far outside of camp, gathering plants and herbs that Lincoln had shown her. They're running low on medical supplies and they need to be prepared for the return of their people from Mount Weather. 

When he'd realized she wasn't at camp as the sun was setting, panic had flooded his veins, and he'd taken a team to look for her. Upon finding her, he moved as quickly as his still healing leg would let him, his initial intent being to pull her into his arms and never let go—but, as his relief turns to anger, he grabs her by the arms.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She echoes, extracting herself from his hold and looking at him in confusion and concern, glancing quickly at the legs he's putting too much weight on. He looks around at the three men he'd brought with him and quickly changes his tone. 

"Come on, we're not doing this here." Together they walk back to the camp in silence, tension pouring off both of them in waves. When he winces at the pain in his leg, she wraps his arm around her shoulders and takes as much of his weight as he'll let her. He begins to protest, but the look in her eye leaves little room for argument. 

As they enter Camp Jaha, the guardsmen that had accompanied him quickly filter off to do anything other than witness the inevitable argument between their leaders.  

She steers them towards medical and he extracts himself from her hold, having regained the strength to stand on his own. Abby moves towards a set of shelves and drawers at the back of the tent to deposit the medicine she'd collected.  She stops for a moment as she notices Jackson cleaning supplies at a table nearby. 

"Get out," Marcus snaps at the young man. After shooting a questioning look at Abby, he narrows his eyes at Kane and complies.  

Abby stares at Marcus for a minute, her anger rivaling his own, before turning from him to put the herbs in her hands into various drawers. If she's opening and closing the drawers a little harder than necessary, he doesn't comment.

"Do you want to explain why you're being completely ridiculous, or are you just going to stand there?" She says, without turning around. 

"What were you thinking, Abby? What possessed you to leave the camp, alone no less, this close to dark without telling anyone?" He asks her through gritted teeth. Tension is still pulsing through him as he tries to contain his frustration, leaning against the table next to her. 

"I didn't go without telling anyone," she snaps, whirling around to face him, "Jackson knew where I was." 

"Oh, Jackson knew," his reply is dripping with sarcasm. "Fantastic, Abby, you told one person in the entire camp that you were leaving, didn't take an escort, didn't even bother to notice that it was getting dark and that you should probably have been back already?" His tone becomes harsher with each statement. 

"I was maybe 20 yards into the tree line, and I was almost finished when you and your stormtroopers decided to give me an armed escort home. I mean, I know I'm the chancellor, but that really wasn't necessary, Marcus."

"Do you think this is some kind of joke, Abby?" He snaps at her, torn between pleading with her to see reason and yelling at her until she understands. 

"I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this. I don't need a chaperon every--"  

"Because it is a big deal!" He cuts her off, raising his voice as he moves away from her, running his hands through this hair. 

"I could see the camp, Marcus, what is your--" 

"Abby, you can't just go off without a guard this close to dark. I don't care if it's 20 yards or 20 miles, it's not safe!" 

He looks at the ground, his back to her as he tries to calm down. Abby stares at the back of his head, her brow furrowed. She changes her tone, speaking more softly now. 

"Marcus, we have an alliance with all of the grounders nearby, and I wasn't gone very long. Nothing happened."

At this all his carefully regained control is lost.

"But something could've happened! Why don't you take your own safety seriously? Why do you think it's okay to risk your life so cavalierly? One week you're climbing into dilapidated buildings, the next you’re walking off into open territory on your own. You're the chancellor, for godssake, you should have taken at least--at the very least--one guard!"

She abandons her own attempt to speak calmly, shouting back at him.

"I wasn't risking my life Marcus, I was doing my job. I'm still a doctor. If that means climbing through rubble to find you, stitching someone up, or gathering medicine in a harmless clearing, it's still my job! We needed this medicine, so I went to get it!" 

"You could've sent anyone to get it!" He shouts back, exasperated. 

 "And they would've come back just fine, too! Why does this matter so much to you? Why are you fighting me on this? It isn't a--"

 "Because I love you too much to let you walk off into the woods and not come back! Dammit, Abby, I can't lose you!"

Suddenly, the tent is silent, anger and confusion quieted by his revelation. Marcus breathes heavily and looks away from Abby, unable to meet her eyes. Of all the times he could have told her, the truth comes out in a screaming match. Abby just stares at him for a moment, the tension leaving her face as she processes his words. He's halfway through wording an apology in his head when he hears her voice.

"Say it again."

"What?" He says, looking up at her, his brow furrowed, not even sure he heard her correctly.

"Say it again," she repeats slowly, still staring at him from across the tent. 

He holds her gaze, looking more vulnerable than she's ever seen him. When he speaks now, his voice is soft and low. "I love you Abby, I can't do this without you, I can't lo--"

She crosses the distance between them in three quick strides, cutting him off as she reaches up, pressing her lips against his own. He hesitates, more out of shock than anything else, but his hands find purchase on her hips as she crashes into him. He stumbles backwards and comes in contact with one of the cots. He leans heavily against it, lifting her slightly as she pushes up from her toes to deepen the kiss. His hands tighten on her hips as she tugs at his lower lip with her teeth before moving to press a line of kisses along his jaw. 

"Abby," he groans as her nails brush along the back of his neck. "Abby, what are you doing?"

"Kissing you," is her simple response as she moves her lips to his neck, sucking and scraping her teeth against his skin. 

"But, Abby, wh--" 

"Marcus, stop talking." She doesn't give him a chance to respond, kissing him hard and raking her fingers through his hair. He hesitates just a moment more before slipping his hands beneath her shirt, brushing his thumbs against her ribs as he pushes the material up her body. 

She groans against his mouth as she breaks the kiss to help him pull her shirt up and off, immediately forgotten as it lands somewhere behind her. He breathes in deeply at the sight of her, shuddering slightly as he lets the air back out of his lungs when she reaches behind her to undo the worn clasp of her bra. She takes advantage of his distraction to tug his own shirt up over his head, tossing it onto the cot behind him. He pulls her back to him then, one hand sliding into her hair, the other sliding around her back to crush her against him. He kisses her deeply and her hands flex on his back, tense under her fingers.

He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily. 

"What's wrong?" Abby whispers, brushing her nose against his and moving to press soft, light kisses against the corner of his mouth. His hands tighten on her body. 

"I'm sorry, Abby." Her brow furrows in confusion, but it's quickly dismissed by the rest of his words. "I'm sorry, I thought I could go slow, but I can't."

Smiling then, Abby moves her lips to his ear and whispers, "then don't."  

Marcus pulls back, looking her in the eye. She nods slightly, and the last of his restraint is gone. He buries his hands in her hair as he catches her lips in a bruising kiss. He turns them then and hoists her up onto the cot, kissing his way down her neck, biting and sucking at her collarbone before moving to her breasts, teasing her with his mouth as his hands busy themselves with the button of her pants. She moves her hands from his shoulders to the cot, pressing her chest against his mouth and lifting her hips as he pushes her pants and underwear down her thighs. 

She groans when he moves away from her. He bends slightly to rid her of her boots and pants before standing again between her legs. She pulls him back to her by the waistband of his pants, undoing the button and zipper as she leans up to kiss him again. 

He rests his hands on either side of her on the cot as he moves to toe off his own boots. His breathing is labored and Abby pulls back from the kiss, her hands resting on his hips just inside his open pants. He moves to help her push them off and winces as the fabric passes over his thigh. He tries to play it off, moving to kiss her again once he's free of the material, but Abby leans back from him, an idea forming in her mind.

"Switch places with me."  He looks up at her without moving and finds her eyes fixed on his injured leg. "Marcus, switch places with me." 

She moves off the cot quickly, her hands brushing along his hips as she kisses him lightly, and urges him up onto the cot behind them. He gets the idea as she presses him farther back and he swings his legs up onto the cot, her fingers brushing gently over his injured one. 

She carefully climbs onto the cot, straddling his waist and moving back slowly, given their limited space. She groans and rests her head against his chest when she feels him pressing against her. Marcus closes his eyes, his head falling back at the sensation of her wetness against his cock. 

Abby kisses his chest before carefully rising on her knees above him, his hands reaching out to steady her hips. She moves to guide him inside her, her legs quaking as she tries to maintain her balance. He bends his uninjured leg behind her, helping to steady her and she smiles as she lowers herself onto him. 

"God, Abby," he groans, his hands tightening on her hips once he's completely inside her. For a moment, she doesn't move, breathing heavily, her tongue wetting her lips as she adjusts to the feel of him. 

When she does move, it's slow, the muscles of her legs tensing as she rises, just slightly, and lowers herself again. Her left hand moves from his chest to brush lightly against the injury on his right leg, checking to make sure they hadn't put too much strain on the still healing muscles in his thigh. When she's confident they won't do any damage, she quickens her pace, her hands moving to grip his forearms. 

As the friction of their hips begins to drive her mad, the small noises she's making do the same to him. He moves his hands to her back and pulls her down to him, her forehead coming to rest on his shoulder as her breasts press against his chest. Abby presses a kiss into the crook of his neck and a line of kisses across his shoulder before biting and sucking at the skin there until she leaves a mark. He uses the leverage of his good leg to thrust up into her, making her gasp.

"Marcus, please," her voice breaks as he does it again, sliding his hand across her hip until his thumb can rub against her clit. "Oh god, please, Marcus."

He presses a kiss to her neck and she whimpers above him, his thumb moving with her as he snaps his hips upward. She lifts her head and catches him looking at her, her mouth falling open as he moves against her.

"I love you," he whispers it softly and it sends her tumbling over the edge, gasping and trembling above him. 

When she catches her breath, she sits up, leaning back against his leg to use it to balance as she slows her pace slightly. One hand falls to her hip again while the other comes behind him, his arm pushing them up until he’s sitting with her in his lap, thrusting up with what little leverage he has with one leg planted on the bed. He moves his mouth over her breasts, biting and sucking, the rise and fall of their hips becoming faster as he marks her breasts the same way she'd marked his shoulder.

He wraps his arm around her lower back, crushing her to him, clinging to her as his long held control begins to crumble. She runs her hands over his shoulders and up into his hair, holding him to her. He sucks a nipple into his mouth; the feeling echoes in the way her muscles flutter around him, and she gasps as he brings her right back to her breaking point. 

"I'm right here, Marcus, I'm right here," he rests his head between her breasts, his breath rising and falling rapidly with the movement of their hips. "Come for me, Marcus."

And that does it, he comes apart beneath her, whispering her name like a prayer and he falls back, pulling her with him, quivering in his arms. 

They stay like that, catching their breath as Marcus presses gentle kisses along Abby's collarbone while she runs her fingers through his hair. A few moments later, Abby moves to get up; Marcus' hand wraps around her wrist as she stands on shaky legs, her knees sore. 

"Wait here." He lets go of her wrist, and she holds his gaze, "I'm not going anywhere." 

She moves across the room and opens a drawer, pulling out a washcloth, and walks back over to Marcus. They clean up quietly. 

She helps him off of the cot and he helps her find her shirt. When they're dressed, he looks as if he isn't sure what to do, but she makes his mind up for him. 

"Come with me," She says, softly, as she takes his hand and leads him through the back of the tent and into the station through her office. Her room isn't far from medical. They get there quickly and quietly enough, and she pulls him inside with her, shutting the door behind them. 

The skylight above them fills the room with moonlight and Marcus stands by the door, watching as Abby crosses the room, lighting a candle that sits on a table by her bed. 

The room is simple, of course, Abby never being one to take more than she needs. Marcus notices a variety of flowers in a vase by the foot of the bed, but he's pulled from his quiet exploration as he sees her lift her shirt off out of the corner of his eye. She looks back at him, toeing off her boots and pushing her pants down her legs. 

"What are you waiting for?" She says, playfully, and he moves toward her. As soon as he's within reach, she strips him to his underwear and pulls him with her into the bed. She stays close to him, her legs tangling with his beneath the blanket, exhaustion creeping over both of them as they settle facing each other. 

Abby is suddenly quiet; Marcus looks down at her and sees fear in her eyes and a tremble in her lips. He brushes her hair back from her face and rests his hand on her cheek.

"What's wrong, Abby?" he asks, his thumb moving gently back and forth across her face. 

She doesn't meet his gaze, but keeps her eyes on his chest, one hand over his heart, the other resting possessively on his hip. 

"When you were--" she stops, taking in a shaky breath before she can continue. "When you passed out, in Tondc, I thought--" she bites her lip and clenches her jaw. "I thought I'd lost you." She says it quickly and quietly in one breath, tears welling in her eyes as she gets caught up in her thoughts. 

"Look at me, Abby," he says softly, moving his hand to her jaw as she tilts her head up to him, meeting his gaze and sucking in a deep breath.

"I'm okay, Abby. I'm not going anywhere. We're okay." He kisses her forehead and runs his fingers through her hair. He moves his hand from her hair to her back, tracing calming circles across her skin. 

She pulls him tighter against her and takes a minute to just breathe him in, "I can't do this without you either, okay?"

He smiles, kissing her forehead again.

"Okay," he says still stroking her back in soft circles. 

Abby nestles herself against him, feeling overwhelmingly safe wrapped in his arms. Marcus continues tracing his fingers along her spine, feeling her breathing slow as she drifts to sleep. He follows her not long after, a new found peace washing over him as he holds her in his arms.